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>Outside the cities, the summer rains have returned in force and the landscape is a pit of mud once again
>It has hampered efforts to erect defenses, but construction still presses onward
>Parts of the original battlefield to the south of the city have been the site of construction of several large forts
>Tyranid planetfall is an estimated fourteen Terran hours away, granting us approximately eighteen local solar hours of remaining time
>Fittingly, this places it around what the Imperials have taken to calling "dawn of the final day"
>For all our sakes, I hope they are wrong
-----
[i]Flashback to Liveria, several months ago[/i]
>A Kabalite leads us down the halls to where Wyen'dala is located
>Trying to ignore the macabre "decorations" in the room and not pay attention to what the seats are made of
>"I believe you were looking to enlist our assistance with this "bident", correct?
>Getting you to it will be impossible, since it is the size of a Titan and swarming with Imperials and Mechanicus who will shoot you on sight
>Even our own presence is barely tolerated, and only then because the Mechanicus demanded we share any findings
>So in return for our assistance in unlocking its secrets for you, we seek something in return
>A great battle is approaching, one that fates likely much greater than that of this world hinge on
>When the time comes, we wish to be able to count on your assistance in return"

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META STUFF!

Welcome back to the world of Damnatum Lutum!

Damnatum Lutum is a 40K greentext series that aims to have fun (Rule of Fun/Cool > canon) and build the world, one shitpost at a time. Previous threads can be found on suptg (they're not essential reading but help a lot with understanding what's going on) at http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=damnatum+lutum

[b]This is the final episode, so pull out the stops for this one. If you want to join, now is your chance, and let's try and make it good.[/b]

Links to universe supplemental materials:

Dramatis Personae: https://pastebin.com/YWeygba9

Regional dossier: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1yH_sF3mkCHwTcRQljw2wgyACFvR0u9gF

Main regional map: https://i.imgur.com/FjRevGx.png

Groxbridge city map: https://i.imgur.com/P65Qw0J.png

Live-updating version of the city map, in case I need to make changes mid-thread: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1uEcyZ0wgl4b0Gmp4euLdcn6cWRCU6N6w (since I have to delete and reupload the Imgur version whevever I make a change and it's a PITA to do constantly)

For the city map key, see http://web.archive.org/web/20190707065931/https://www.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/docs/legends/50k-raster-legend.pdf and http://web.archive.org/web/20170717180121/https://www.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/docs/legends/abbreviations-used-on-os-25k-and50k-scale-mapping.pdf (archived because the webpages vanished)

Metro map: https://i.imgur.com/VWwEIWp.png

System chart: https://i.imgur.com/rUEIIM5.png (not to scale)

System stats: https://pastebin.com/uK3aen6h

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>Be me
>Former squad leader of the XIVth "Lancasters" Marauder Squadron of the Praetorian airforce, Arthur "Et Ignis in Nocte" Harris
>Currently stuck onboard one of the inquisitorial black ships after my death sentence
>Utter poppycock! I didn't commit TOO much friendly fire!
>Unfortunately, the collosal ponces of the inquisition saw it otherwise
>As I brood by myself in my cell, wishing for a good cup of tea, begin hearing an odd whispering
>Must be the chap next door, that bloke never knows when to pipe down
>Wait no, he's still screaming, the whispering is something different, something almost... sinister...
>"Greetingsss mortal... I can offer you... an esscape... perhapsss even sssome... firepower...."
>Now that just sounds downright malicious to me
>"Noo... mortaall.... I am not malicciousss... I merely have... plansss...."
>Well that's just bally rude! My thoughts are supposed to be private thank you very much!
>The voice that sounds vaguely like some kind of intergalactic nonce starts ranting about how his "keikakus" were "keikaku'd" by members of the inquisition and "blue fish cunts"
>Next thing I know he offers firebombs beyond count and powerful archeotech to wield them
>Well by jove old sport, that was all you had to mention!
>With a flash of blue and gold light, a portal opens at the entrance to my cell, swirling with an inviting glow
>Well, wherever that leads can't be any worse than this dingy old hole that the inquisition seems to think counts as a cell
>Step up, dust myself off and walk into the portaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH MY BRAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNN
>MMMMYYYYFFAAAAACCEEEEWHEEEEEEN

>>69925790
>be me
>Commissar Dell Lugermorph
>The plan to kidnap more water caste Tau didn’t work
>They were more defensive than expected
>But their “refugee camps” on the other hand?
>Well let’s just say that the 531st Cadian Regiment has met its recruitment quota
>Coms Officer Jernwick has recovered from her wounds, and is now a better vox operator than the last one
>Make it back to a staging area where more forces are being brought to us
>Some officials walk up to me and hand me a data-slate
>They tell me it’s for the Baneblade I requisitioned a few months back
>Eagerly sign it, I always wanted one
>When they piss off, the shady looking assassin pokes me in the back
>She asks me what to do about the POW
>wot.blam
>POW? Wait a minute...
>We never got rid of the water caste Tau...
>Tell shady to do whatever, I got to get a tank crew ready.
>Tell Jernwick to set up the coms tent near the triage
>I have seen Orks get shot less times than that poor woman.
>It’s the Emperor’s blessings that is keeping her alive at this point.
BTW, Graves will be on in a few, he is just working right now.

>>69925790
>>69926223
>Be inquisitor leonpines Edric of the ordo Xenos
>I did not manage to stop the commissar from raiding Liveria because of tyrannids nomming their way here
>Had to go to Groxbridge radio to tell every living being how to fight giant hungry bugs of space
>Deathwatch style
>Along with the"how to prepare to fight them 101"
>Jackson as he was called was actually nice enough to repeat my message
>With that many reinforcement there's surely one or two regiment who doesn't know how to fight the "nids"
>If we are lucky, admnistratum being a bitch...
>Speaking of the devil i recommended to the munitorum to make the captain Von Hansburg fight near the sisters of battle
>Daemons will not be a problem anymore for her regiment
>Still no news from Von Rosen since I left the island
>A huge mechanicus fleet came out the warp few weeks ago so it seems that he is okay
>His weapon better work

>be me
>sneakyboi little finger
>skulking around da rooftops
>protecting me boss sista bios
>more of da ‘ummies showing up to help boss probably
>not sure though
>see one of da tow in da distance
>he aiming at something
>decide to show em who da best sniper is
>shoot da tow in da head
>he wasn’t very hidden though
>yellow in a grey building aint dat sneaky
>realize im painted white
>bigthink.daka
>realize dat nobody ever saw a purple ork (or grot in my case)
>dat must mean dat they are da sneakiest
>paint myself purple and go back to sniping around for me boss

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>GOOOOOOOD DAY, GROXBRIDGE!
>Hello again ladies, gentlemen, and any xenos who happen to be listenin'!
>It's yer favourite radio host Jackson here, again with the NEWS and WEATHER
>Any of ya that are still hangin' around, don't worry, we ain't goin' anywhere
>If we left y'all would have no news and no tunes!
>We'll keep broadcastin' until the 'nids eat the studio out from under us
>Today's headlines are.....not much, actually
>With everybody gone, there ain't much happenin' around town these days
>There's the usual military stuff but y'all heard that before
>Oh, yesterday a Commissar was themselves executed for drunkenly attemptin' to pick up one of the Eldar girls we have locally
>Don't do xenos, kids (if ya know what's good for ya)
>Also, don't miss tonight's finale of the Tyranid series of the Focus On: Xenos podcast
>We'll be taking a closer look at the big mamma of them all - the Dominatrix - with info and tips on how to deal with them (mostly "run away")
>The weather for the next 24h is looking cloudy and wet across the board with a high chance of heavy Bioform showers tomorrow morning, highs of up to 31C this afternoon, and 34C tomorrow
>And now, the music playlist for today!
>We went diggin' in the basement for some new tunes a couple weeks ago
>When looking, Leydas tripped and crashed through a wall into a hidden side room that looked like it hadn't been touched since the Dark Age
>Knowing this planet, that might well be the case
>Inside we found three two-sided records in a box labelled "FEELGOOD BANGERS" with some notes written in extremely archaic Low Gothic
>Now dusted off and lovingly restored by the local Techpriest, we thought they'd be great for taking yer minds off these stressful times
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJMVj04lfyo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0dvabcWVo0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6haqNTrrcc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlFXhigvTvM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbqfdC8xCRg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMVjToYOjbM

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>Be me, Lord Inquisitor Greger von Rosen
>We managed to secure Stonehenge, there are still things fucking around on van Kijeck island though I'm sure
>The xenos which managed to spawn the Eye of terror have helped us quite a bit
>With their aid, AL-psi managed to get the Fusion reactor back online and gun 1# is currently at 34.95% power
>The gun is expected to come back online in a few hours
>A fair few of them are there protecting the platform along with some skitarii
>More importantly, we've received some reinforcements, some of which were actually supposed to show up alongside me
>Several regiments of Guard and the groups of Skitarii that previously left are now back with us, thank the emperor
>Used the new ships to evacuate a most of Groxbridges population
>I have enough experience dealing with Tyranids to know that they enjoy a large degree of manoeuvrability
>The best course of action would be forcing them to assault, or better yet, inviting them to assault a position with a large amount of biomass
>Conscripted a fair amount of the criminal population of Groxbridge, 10% of the Archbishops militia has staid to defend their cathedral
>Most of the rubble from the previous battles hasn't been completely reused or destroyed, which gave me an idea
>Hab-bloqs provide fantastic firing positions
>Used the rubble to create a mighty defence around the perimeter of the city
>Led by the fists and with help from my men, the guard, the mechanicus and a load of servitors we've set up a "thrice-Emperor-blessed fuck-ton of defences" to quote the general along the outskirts of Groxbridge
>The rubble's been forged into a several meter thick wall against the Tyranids
>Guardsmen inside and on top of the hab-bloq wall able to constantly fire on the approaching Tyranids
>Heavy bolters, Lascannons, Autocannons and so on sticking out of holes, windows, cracks and so on in the hab-bloq walls all with overlapping fields of fire
cont...

>>69929018
>In front of the walls, Five meter long trenches filled with sharp metal pikes
>In front of the trenches, two hundred meters of landmines, IEDs and razor wire
>Well-hidden tarantula turrets in pillboxes positioned among the razor wire and the minefields
>Holes left open in the line for the main highway, these holes occupied by guardsmen, heavy weapons teams and one or two tank squadrons
>Dropped the bridges to our west, set up barricades on the highway but didn't damage the roads, can't afford to make our bait less viable
>Companies of Kriegers guarding the western downed bridges, the gaping Grox hole, the northern and eastern sections of clipper ridge and a large part of the southern forts
>The river Grox is quite rapid this time of year, it'd be inconvenient for the Tyranids to loose biomass by trying to cross it
>In my experience, Kriegers will hold the line against anything and everything they face
>I'm sure they'll take out 10 times their own numbers if the Tyranids attack from beyond the river Grox
>On top of all of that, the fists have deployed Earthshaker, Hydra and even a few Manticore platforms in the various buildings
>Most of this was the idea of the Imperial fist Captain and his two Lieutenants
>I shouldn't be impressed as this was to be expected, but I still am
>Finally, my last ace up my sleeve: a band of 6 veteran freeblades
>I picked up each one of them after successive engagements against the Tyranids, after which they've all sworn themselves to fight at my side
>They consist of the Crusader "Scourgebane", The Errant, "Burning lance", The Paladin, "Tyrantslayer", the Paladin, "Tannhäuser", the Warden, "Diamantine wrath" and their leader, the Castigator, "Lionheart"
>Each one a skilled slayer of Xenos, each one a nightmare to face off against in combat
>However, the Tyranids excel at surrounding targets and overrunning them, which is exactly what I want them to try
cont...

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>>69929045
>Extending themselves over muddy terrain will mean less forces protecting their spawning pools, and the southern fort we've set up guarded by a mix of Kriegers and other regiments will work fantasticalyl well
>Part of the forces I commissioned happened to be none other than a regiment of Harakoni Warhawks
>I've stationed them in orbit on my Cruiser and on the ground near Groxbridge spaceport, which I've also fortified to the warp and back
>They, along with my Tempestus Scions, will be deploying with Grav-shutes and performing raiding attacks on the Tyranid landing zones
>An entire Cadian regiment is holding up at the space port squished between two bodies of water, we'll be able to maintain air superiority for quite some time I imagine
>I've allowed a group of civilians operating a vox station to stay on-planet, mainly due to the abnormally large laser they have on top of their establishment
>They have some good taste in music, and more importantly, a weapon which could be effectively used for air support
>They were also very receptive in my campaign to educate the troops on what Tyranids to shoot and where to shoot them
>Sent Lucius to hand them recordings of the top 100 songs voted by guardsmen all over the Imperium, told them to start playing them with zero commercial breaks from 15 hours before the bugs invade
>Now we just have to play the waiting game
>Whatever happens, we've already managed to scan the schematics of the mass drivers on Stonehenge and forwarded them to the nearest forge worlds and Mars herself
>I can only hope and pray it reaches the red planet
>Emperor preserve us

Here's a map detailing some troop positions and defences attached, Brown dotted lines signify barricades, trenches and defences in general, the thick red x's signify troop concentration and the thin red x’s show where the dropped bridges are located.
Not coloured in is Groxbridge, because holy shit that would be hard to look at.

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>Be me
>Head Field Chirurgeon Octavius Graves
>We almost died trying to attack the Tau HQ
>But on the plus side, we didn’t die
>And we got a bunch of new recruits
>Just got back to the staging area and we are ordered to set up the triage and coms tent
>Hear my name get called out in a stern voice while I start sanitizing my instruments
“Yes how can I...”
>Turn around to see Inquisitor Edric
>mfw
“...help you?”
>She tells me she knows where we got our new recruits and she demands that we are inspected for possible heretical activity
>bitchidonthavetimeforthis.vox
>Go along with it, for fear of being branded a heretic
>Why does it have to be me dealing with this crazy bitch?
>See Lew running off to join the sisters of battle
>Lucky bastard...
>Few minutes later she tells me I’m clear
>Thank the Emperor
>Ask if I can go back to work now
>She says yes, but to report any heretical activity I come across
>Tell her I will, and go back to sanitizing my instruments
>theinquisitionnevershowsupwhenyouwantthemto.vox

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>Be Tolria, self-proclaimed Exarch of Alaitoc
>Sometimes, Dark Age human technology vexes even us
>This cannon array is one such example
>Originally we weren't even going to fix it at all for the Imperials
>But then the Inquisitor produced a large crate of filled Spirit Stones and a consensus was very rapidly reached to play along
>For some unknowable reason, this esoteric piece of technology rejected all the wraithbone replacement components we crafted for it
>Unable to fix things the usual way, we had to do it the old-fashioned method
>That being with crude manual tools like spanners, hammers and soldering irons
>How the Imperials manage to fix anything with these primitive things is a mystery
>I learned a few mechanical things as an Outcast, and when I'm in overalls and a facemask with my long red hair not in a hood nobody recognises me
>It's turning out to be a nice way to get away from the leadership duties for a while
>The mix of the baking summer heat and high humidity means it's oppressively muggy
>Still, the others have taken a liking to the old Terran music they have blaring over the worksite from the vox, back from before it was just battle music and propaganda
>I should learn to play the guitar someday, as crude an instrument as it is some say it has merit and it would no doubt turn heads on the Craftworld
>Heh, an Eldar playing a human string instrument would turn heads anywhere
>Anyway, we've managed to repair and restart the reactor and Guns II, IV and V have been successfully test fired, applying reverse triage to fix the quickest first
>VII and VIII were too damaged to fix in time; III and VI are still in the queue and I is being powered up right now
>By the time the forces of the Great Devourer arrive, we should have four of the eight great guns online
>The sea forts around the island have also been repaired, with the batteries of powerful archaeotech weapons ready to provide a nasty surprise to any enemies that get close, especially airborne ones

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>>69930446
>On the command side, we've drawn up a battleplan of our own
>The bulk of our forces will be defending the northwest side of town around Brannet, Oak Green and Xora
>Saim-Hann and other mobile forces have been organised into fire brigades to rapidly respond to and reinforce any breaches in the lines
>The main forces will also be ready to be the speartip in any counterassaults, using their superior concentrated firepower and mobility to our advantage to break through and clear the way or relieve pockets
>We lack the numbers to do this on our own, so this will have to be done with the cooperation of the Imperials
>All this is giving me persistent migraines
>I'm not sure whether it's due to the Shadow in the Warp or stress, since we could all be Nid snacks this time tomorrow
>Probably both
>I'm also not sure of what the Druchii are doing, and whether we'll be able to rope them in or even if they'll participate for their own amusement
>Ah, whatever - for now we've got things to try and focus on
>Pass me the 13mm spanner, would you?

>>69929869
>be me
>Guardsman Lew, diplomatic liaison to the 531st Cadian regiment and the local chapter of the sisters of battle
>wellthatattackwentpearshapedfast.vox
>only got to toast a few tau before I was ordered to leave
>kinda sad, but the new guys are happy to be with us
>the commissar orders us back to a staging area where we will get new orders and munitions
>finebyme.freepromethium
>as soon as I’m off the APC Sister Grace yanks me aside and tells me that Bios is ordering another purge of heresy
>join in, mostly because I get all the promethium I could ever want
>also sometimes they let me use a bolt pistol
>they kick like a mule, but they are fun to use
>also nids are on their way
>not to horrible, we handled some in previous deployments
>bugs don’t take to fire well you see
>pass by the triage to see Graves talking to some inquisitor for some reason
>gladitsnotme.vox

>>69931672
>be me
>sneakyboi little finger
>da ‘ummie with da helmet has joined bosses group
>he is a smart one, joining da boss
>da paint seems to be working, mork be praised
>medamostcleva.waaagh
>start shooting da tow that are farther than da bosses flamer can reach
>tow start freaking out over who is shooting them
>hold back a big laugh
>da helmet ‘ummie starts talking about nids
>ihatenids.daka
>only thing good bout nids is that they taste good if ya slow roast them
>but nofin else

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>>69926223
>Be Trooper Monica Jernwick, Vox Officer, 78th Risian Light Infantry / 531st Cadian
>Well, I guess this marks roughly the one year mark for my time on this planet
>No one, including myself thought I would survive nearly this long
>Some of the troopers from the new regiments treat me like some battle hardened elite warrior, but in truth I don't feel like I have improved in any meaningful way except perhaps learning how to use a vox
>Ever since the failed raid on Liveria, we have been fortifying the area in preparation for a Tyranid invasion
>It is backbreaking, wretched work, between the rain, the mud, and the humidity, it seems like ages since I have been remotely clean or dry
>My physical health is stable but poor at best, and my mental health continues to deteriorate
>You would think that the many near suicidal missions that I have been on would prepare me for this sort of thing, but the Tyranid invasion feels different for some reason, and the icy feeling of dread knotting in my gut seems to get worse with every hour
>Or maybe that feeling in my gut is just the shrapnel wound I took at Liveria, or the gunshot wound from slightly before that
>On the plus side, if I die in the near future, at least I will probably be inside my tent instead of outside in the rain
>Assuming I ever figure out how to set the stupid thing up, there has got to be at least two pieces missing...

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>>69932817
>>69929869
>be me
>Commissar Dell Lugermorph
>Sooooo...
>Apparently I didn’t just requisition a Baneblade
>I also asked for a few Leman Russ tanks as well
>Quite a few of them in fact
>Might have ordered these when I was drinking with Von Hansburg, but I can’t remember
>I guess we have an armored division now
>Start crew assignment for the new tanks
>Thankfully, these new recruits used to belong to a armored division stationed out here, so that makes the task of training them a bit easier
>And then I see Edric out of the corner of my eye
>mfw
>She starts yelling at me for attacking Tau HQ and for not veting these new recruits of mine
>Bitch if they were brainwashed by the Tau, then they wouldn’t be here would they?
>Phrase it a bit more professional than that
>Don’t want to piss off the inquisition that much
>She then sees the Leman Russes getting off loaded
>Asks me if they are mine and when I requisitioned them
>Tell her that she is in the Ordos Xenos, not the Departmento Munitorum
>If she has questions, she can ask them
>Get back to commanding my new armored units
>Oh Emperor is this fun!

Bump before bed

>Be captain Antonius of the 1st Damnatus air superiority regiment
>Currently at the military airport with the others captains and commanders to decide of a plan after I destroyed that Tau supersuit
>We have to take down harpies, crones, sporocyst, and gorgoyls
>But they insist that we take down first the nids drop pods something called "tyrannocyte"
>This will help the ground troops
>And because of the fleshy nature of those xenos we will be given eexplosive rounds and napalm bombs
>Some of us will even be given air-to-air unguided nuclear missiles
>there'snosuchthingasoverkillinthenavy.pilot
>If the airport if swarmed we can still refuel in the spaceships
>They will move to help us

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>Be me
>Duh Orkiest ork dat evuh did Ork, Orko uv Dakkamark
>Be 'avin a ryt blazt krumpin gitz in duh warp
>Dis playz iz zoggin grayt!
>Gork 'n Mork stompin gitz fuh fun!
>Gunfuh sluggin buggahz coz 'ee zoggin kan!
>An... I kant zoggin beeleev I iz sayin diz but...
>Dere'z enuff dakka!
>Az I watch sum Goff git get blown intuh littul bitz an peesiz as Bomba burnz 'im up, wonduh tuh mezelf if dohz Kommandoz I yelld 'av dun wot I told 'em to yet....
>Dohz 'umiez ar gunna luv it, I iz sure 'uv da...
>*THWACK*
>OY, I IZ BUZY 'AVIN SUM FINKIN TYM YA GIT, GET BAK 'ERE!

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>>69927717
>>69935474
>HELLOOO AGAIN GROX...ZZZZZZKKKKKTTTTTT
>BBBZZZZZZZZZ.... ELLO YA 'UMIE GITZ, ITZ KOMMANDO KOHDORK 'ERE
>ME AN DUH BOYZ AR INTUHRUPTIN YUH REGUHLEE SKEDYOOLD WHIMPUHRIN 'BOWT DUH BUG BOYZ WIV SUMFIN MOOR ORKY
>Evun if yoo gitz krump'd Orko... *Vague sniffling* 'ee... 'EE LIVZ ON IN AR ZOGGIN 'EARTZ!
>An tuh mayk soor yoo gitz dont fuhget duh Orkiest ork dat evuh did krump diss 'ere sektuh, 'erez sumfin Orko made erliuh!
>*Sound of clattering as the Ork kommandoz rustle around and insert a cassette tape*
>An beefor me an duh boyz 'ere giv yoo gitz sum proppuh orky musik, juzt remembuh, we kommandoz iz duh sneekiezt!
>We 'az 'akd duh radio stashun 'ere frum a distunz, so yoo kant fynd uz now
>Well, not beefor dohz bug gitz turn up an krump ya! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
>BZZZZTTTT KRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKK
>(First Section, Orko)
DO WAT YA WANT EVEN BEET AN 'UMIE
BUT MAKE DUH BEETIN ORKY

Yar, WAAAGH dat dakkaz fuh me,
Bein a Freeboota'z proper Orky
Do wat ya want even beet an 'umie
an do it wiv an 'umie

Weer zoggin Freebootaz!
WAAAAAAAAGH

Weev got uz a Grot! (A GROT!)
An 'eez a lil git naymd Grinzy!
An eez a right panzy! (RIGHT PANZY!)
An keepz runnin away!
But 'eel slip intuh tankz (THE TANKZ!)
Coz 'eez zoggin sneeki lyk that
Nik duh boomi bitz
And 'en we'll YELL FUH GORK

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>>69935484
>(Second section, Bomba)
Har har, burnaz not fuh yoo
If you lyk a barbecue
YOU AR A BURNA!
("AV A TASTE 'UMIEZ, AHAHAHAHAHAHA/Fwoooooosh!")

Har har, burnaz fuh me
An burnaz iz bettuh 'an dakka ya see!
Burn what ya want an luv duh burna'z big heet
'Atz a burna boy!
Har WAAAAGH yooz big mek'z mast
Tuh tellyport duh tank uv jyooz reel fast,
An fix it on duh kartz bak wiv burnaz last!
I iz a burna!

>(All Orkz at once)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WAAAAAAAAGH!

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>>69935500
>(Third Section, Gunfuh)
Iz choppin duh gitz (duh gitz!)
Choppahz, dakka, an koppinz galoor!
An Bombaz burnaz roor! (HA HAR!)
Grinzy'z stuk sumwere now! ('ow?)
So we kop sum gitz (SUM GITZ!)
Even tussul wiv sum SPACE MAHREENZ
Then kop sum moor gitz
Wiv sum lovlee dakka!

>(Fourth section, all at once)
YAR WAAGGH DUH DAKKAZ FUH UZ
AN DUH BIG MEKZ BLUNDUHBUSS
WEER DUH FREEBOOTAZ!
an grotz...

YAR WAAAGH DUH DAKKA IZ ARZ
FREEBOOTINZ ONLY FUH DOSE OO DED 'ARD
KOP OO YA WANT KOZ FREEBOOTAZ AR 'ARD
WEER DUH FREEBOOTAZ!

YAR WAAGH DAKKA ON YA BAK, WHEREVUH YA RYD!
DAKKA ABUV AN DAKKA BESYDZ!
LETZ MAYK IT ORKY!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH FOR GORK N MOOOORK!

>BZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTT KKKKKKFFFFFFFFFF....

>>69935484
Orknon here, just realised I forgot to include the backing tune: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRKAL-i-UbE

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>Be me
>Former squad leader of the XIVth "Lancasters" Marauder Squadron of the Praetorian airforce, Arthur "Et Ignis in Nocte" Harris
>Despite the unimaginable pain that is currently coursing throughout my body, I feel a strange sense of... calm
>My body is soul floating upon the ebbing tides of the immaterium, the great ocean a crashing, thundering beast both below and in front
>As I feel the energies of the warp surge into my body, I feel it's strength empower me
>It is a good, warm pain, not unlike the heat of a campfire
>As the pain surges to my brain, I.... I....
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
>YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS, I SEEEEEE IIIITTTT NOOOOWWW
>Tzeentch now shows me the truth of the matter!
>I am one of a long line of ruthless pyromaniacs that stems back to the second millenium
>Those fools of the inquisition might've warned me of the lies of the warp, but NOW! NOW I HAVE SEEN THE TRUTH OF THIS UNIVERSE!
>I will spread this glorious truth to all who doth live under the master's nine eyes!
>And all who do not listen to his truth, will burn.....

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>Be Rogue Trader Stannim Lherzon
>With all this Tyranid business going on my other big moment has been rather overshadowed
>Because with the completion of repairs, today is launch day!
>Shore leave has been rescinded, supplies stocked, fuel taken on and bling affixed suitably
>Granted the Shadow means we can't jump and we had to sedate the astropath and Navigator in the brig, but I feel safer in space than on the ground
>Sword-class cruisers aren't rated for atmospheric flight, so here goes nothing
>As the reactor increases power, the familiar thrum of the engines throttling up reverberates through the ship
>The ship starts to shake as enormous billowing clouds of steam blast away from the partially submerged engine bells
>With a lurch, bump and a deafening, thundering roar of the sort that shakes one's very bones audiable for hundreds of miles around, the cruiser glacially starts to lift from the ocean
>Oh, I did forget to mention that it's not all under its own power but for the swarm of tug ships helping lift the thing?
>Great sheets of water flow off the flanks and cascades of barnacles, seaweed and and sand rain from the bottom and sides as water fills the vacated void with a crashing roar
>Once we reach a sufficient height, the tow cables detach and the engines are thrown to full to carry us to orbit
>Sit back with a glass of Chapada Hills amasec and relax
>We can still receive planetbound vox stations in orbit, so flick it on for some ambience
>...Huh? That's not music
>That's ORKS!
>And they're talking about Orko!
>Have they come to take revenge for their fallen leader?
>Will all the imminent "scrapping" resurrect him from the dead to join the fight?
>Panic a bit
>Flick the vox off and remind myself that he's definitely dead and not coming back
>Who's afraid of the big bad mushroom?
>I shall join the Navy battle lines later, but first I want to see Thor-Atlas
>I have seen many things, but I want potentially one of my last to be one of such funereal beauty

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>Be Sister Bios
>Or should I say, Sister Superior Bios
>The small unit we had here has swelled into the thousands as the Ecclesiarchy pours in reinforcements
>And I've finally been honored with a promotion!
>Haydidi and Peasu have also been given their own squads, while Grace and Dapter ended up included under my command and Kaybord was moved to some important command advisory post
>I have regrettably still not been able to shake off that Cadian
>In the closing hours of defensive preparation, we're doing some final sweeps of the city for lurking Tau
>Roasting Tau helps distract from the imminent life-or-death battle
>Granted most battles are like that, and we're not supposed to be afraid of such things
>I am no coward, but it is impossible to not be a little anticipatory of it
>I must also make sure to investigate why I find enemies dead by high-power gunshot before I even reach them
>Am I being shadowed by a Vindicare?
>I hope not - OA agents are one of the few things that genuinely scare me
>The hidden Tau post is soon eradicated and on fire, as is right and proper
>Returning to base, now a hive of frantic activity, we're given our orders
>We'll be deployed as mobile first-line defenses when the Tyranids arrive
>They're not here yet, and we can't really deploy until we know where they are landing
>In between rest and planning, I spend a lot of time in the cathedral
>It's one of the few places in the city still with people and the Archbishop and his militia have the mind of a Sororitas
>But most importantly, I feel connected to the Emperor, part of a higher purpose and, above all, at peace
>Such a feeling is to be treasured nowadays

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>>69935515
>>69936470
>Be me
>Duh sneekiest Ork in duh sektuh, Kommando Kohdork
>Me an duh boyz ar buzy finishin off duh work wot Orko left uz tuh duh aftuh he kork'd it
>Dis 'idin spot iz ryt zoggin kramp'd an all, but it'll do
>Dohz 'umie gitz still 'avunt manijd tuh fix duh raydioh wot we 'akd
>But duh fing iz, dat wuz juzt a distrakshun!
>Chukluh tuh meself az I fink 'ow zogd off duh 'umiez muzt be about losin duh raydioh az Kommando Rambork getz dun wiv 'akin duh brordcazt systemz in diss 'ere ship wot we iz 'idin on
>Duh luvlee musik uv Deff Squiggoth startz blarin az duh screenz show duh konzert wot Orko firzt saw 'em at
>Duhkroozerskreenzwen
>Me an duh boyz laff lyk draynz sinz duh muzikz so zoggin lowd no gitz kan 'eer uz
>We bugguh off deepuh intuh duh bowuhlz uv duh ship, laffin all duh way

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>>69926578
>>69933537
>Be Captain Priscilla Von Hansburg, 4th Baroness of Bluven, 1st Happy Ending Regiment
>Currently sipping tea as I listen to the other officers of the regiment provide updates on the construction of the defenses
>Due to the upcoming Tyranid invasion, the Colonel sent word to his clan in the Gilded Worlds to send the best siege engineers and artillery that money can buy, and as a result, our positions at Oak Green and Alabaster are probably more heavily fortified than any on the planet except those of the Kriegers and the Praetorians
>Most of the officers in the room are professional soldiers from the Gilded Worlds, while refugees from Happy Ending like myself are now in the minority, valued for our local knowledge and connections but not much else
>Which suits me just fine, since it means I spend most of my time liaising with Lugermorph, Edric, Lherzon, Tolria, and any number of other noteworthy individuals I have contact with since arriving on this world
>The "incident" at van Kijeck Island is thankfully never discussed, and I have largely been able to suppress the memory of it along with all the other terrifying and humiliating experiences so far in my career with the Guard
>The upcoming Tyranid invasion worries me more then a bit though, despite the massive fortifications that we have erected around Groxbridge, the 'Nids are relentless and cunning opponents
>Also, for some reason my company has been assigned to support the large Sisters of Battle formation and their militia henchmen, and who knows what reckless scheme they will decide upon in the heat of battle

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>Be me, LORD admiral Gregorius Markus Agrippa Falkar
>That's right, I got a promotion!
>...Because the Lord Admiral and his escorts seem to have gotten lost in the warp
>Lord High Admiral reasoned that he was probably fucking dead and told me via Astropath that I would be taking up his position until further notice
>About time too
>Over the months the Tyranid fleet has been approaching, I've ordered withering attacks on them
>When they entered the system they looked like they had the numbers advantage
>Now they have a slight but noticeable numbers disadvantage compared to us
>We took relatively light casualties during the raids too, if the Tyranids weren't outgunned before they definitely are now
>Still, there is some uncertainty to whether we'll be able to beat them with the sheer weight of our firepower
>The lord inquisitor has insured me of our victory though by beginning the reactivation of the device on the planet
>Now we're just a few scant hours away from being able to engage one another
>Sent out a probing missile volley at them
>It'll give the Tyranid a bloody nose if nothing else
>The fleet is already in position, Battleships, battle cruisers and cruisers form our front gunline
>Behind them are our carriers not attached to raiding fleets, they'll make sure the 'nids don't have an easy time reaching the planet
>Back line is also covered by some scant few Tyrants so that we may keep them alive
>Raiding fleets hidden in great big clouds of space dust and other debris from previous battles with their engines off
>All of these ships covered by escorts
>While the Tyranids attack us, we'll perform hit and run attacks on their rear
>The inquisitorial and astartes ships along with their escorts are in low orbit ready to perform orbital bombardment
>The void battle is just about to begin, only one thing left to do
>Tune in to the vox
>"This is Falkar to gunline, bug hunt starts in one-twenty-five prepare to fire on my command."

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>>69925806
>>69935826
>Be Dracon Wyen'dala, Kabal of the Frozen Heart
>Currently seeing what I can do to salvage what is left of my Tau "allies" in Liveria
>It turns out the alliance between Chaos and a certain shadowy faction of the Tau was deeper than I thought
>Although the main ritual at Stonehenge was quashed via use of the bident, Chaos insurgents unleashed one of their secondary rituals on Liveria out of spite, turning a large chunk of the population into mutants and other warp spawn bound to the will of Slaanesh and Tzeentch, not to mention another flood of daemons
>Serves the Tau right for allying themselves with such madmen, but to be fair, they also still think I am their ally (despite the fact that I secretly capture dozens of Tau and their proxies every night)
>Long story short, with the defeat of the Tau forces at Stonehenge and the corruption of most of their forces at Liveria, my dreams of turning Damnatum Lutum into a well run, vibrant, cosmopolitan planet under the command of the Tau (which would have also been a great hunting ground for the Kabal) is ruined for now, and short term the best I can hope for is a return to the boring status quo of having Lutum being yet another dreary Imperial world
>Which means ironically I am now keeping my word to that stuck up Farseer and indirectly helping their dimwitted Imperial allies maintain control of this world by leading the remnants of the Tau forces to sabotage whatever master plan the forces of Chaos are up to now
>Which apparently involves creating a large number of warp portals to Groxbridge and Stonehenge, among other locations
>Ugh, send word to Sybarite Trys'ta, it looks like we will need her diplomatic skills yet again

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>Be me
>Imperial Fists Brother-Sergeant Sammos, Fifth Company, Second Squad
>After my squads deployment to Hill 492 in the winter, we returned to Groxbridge to resupply
>With air forces tied up in the ongoing battles at the time we opted to walk as opposed to relying on air transport
>Now in Groxbridge all forces ready for the arrival of a Tyranid fleet
>With all the enemies of man on this single planet, does this battle have no end?
>Having the honor of the first Imperial Fists to enter the fight here, Second Squad is relatively under strength
>A year of fighting in and Fifth Company is yet to receive new marines from the scout companies
>We currently sit in reserve behind the Northern lines, waiting for enemy contact so we may reinforce whoever needs us most
>I've loaded myself with as much as I can carry
>My power sword sits sheathed on my left hip, and a bolt pistol holstered on my right
>Several bandoliers of boltgun ammo adorn my armor, slung across my chest, tied tight around my right thigh, practically a second layer of armor
>On the outside of my left bicep there is strapped a final magazine, loaded almost entirely of incendiary rounds except the last, an armor piercing bolt should I be completely overrun and opt to not let my mind fall intact to enemy hands, or maws for that matter
>Brother Saegon is equally kitted, perhaps he plans on the same
>A small prayer before the battle, though I am no chaplain
>Dorn empower us, and may the Emperor preserve us, through their guidance we are and shall be the final bulwark, upon which the enemy shall break, we are Imperial Fists and we shall not abandon the line this day.
>Ave Imperator, and amen.

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>Be PDF Colonel Lekatariba
>This is every PDF's nightmare
>Tyranids. Hate 'em.
>Thank the Emperor we've actually got a vaguely competent leader on hand to make good decisions
>Most of the PDF forces are integrated with the Guard as reserve and support forces
>Much of the frontline fighting is being left to the big guys
>Still, we do have an important role to play in supplementing the Guard
>We're also responsible for defending the tunnels
>A number of heavy defensive emplacements have been installed in the sewers and metro tunnels to defend them
>The tunnels run outside of our lines so were they unguarded it would be suicide
>The soldiers manning the tunnel turrets are our very best and most dedicated, since they have accepted the importance and likely fatality of their role
>Every tunnel and bridge in the city has also been rigged for on-command demolition should the need arise
>In the meantime, the waiting is killing me
>As the day draws on into the evening before planetfall, the tension rises
>We stand locked, loaded and ready
>Never mind that weapons don't actually do that any more and as a PDF half of our soldiers wouldn't know how to
>Most forces in the city and across the planet are reporting good states of readiness by now
>All that's left is to wait

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>Be me
>Loyal daemonic servant of the master of schemes, Im'afuc'kin Ner'dvir'jin
>As I'm busy trying to find some quality archaeo-porn in the master's endless hentai libraries, my phone starts buzzing
>Justfivemoreminutespls.spankthegank
>The fates have informed me already that I must answer this phonecall, and so I do
>As expected, lord Tzeentch has called to inform me that our final plan is now ready to be called into action
>I must now rally the flamers and the horrors, and prepare to accompany Tzeentch's new servant into battle
>Also have to get some layabout cultists to get their asses into gear and start up the master's air force
>Oh well, at least that irritating fool Moonsoon won't be coming along this ti...
>Lord Tzeentch informs me that the meming mortal idiot will also be coming along for "entertainment value"
>Warp forsake me, why do the fates hate me so?
>Oh well, I should look on the bright side
>THIS nerd is coming to get his lunch money back!
>mfw

>>69938379
>>69930446
>Be Sybarite Trys'ta, Kabal of the Frozen Heart
>Currently leading a small group of Kabal warriors, Tau Pathfinders, and mon keigh guerrillas to sabotage what we hope is one of the Chaos portals
>Apparently Wyen'dala now thinks I am some sort of expert on diplomacy for helping broker the alliance with the Craftworld Eldar
>Which means instead of enjoying the huge warehouse full of drugs, slaves, and other loot Wyen'dala gave me as a reward, I am now stuck persuading remnant Tau forces to work for us in return for vengeance against the Chaos forces, and the vague promise that we can use the Webway to return them to the safety of Tau space once we stop the Chaos ritual interfering with our access to the Webway (a blatant lie, the Webway works just fine around here)
>Chances are that any Tau forces we rescue from this world will actually just end up in the slave pens, but you never know, Wyen'dala might have some reason for gaining some good will with the Tau
>Get priority message from Wyen'dala
>She needs me to update our Craftworld cousins about the situation at Liveria
>Sigh, this means I am going to have to dress up as a craftworlder again to chat with Tolria at Stonehenge
>Although the mon keigh may trust Tolria and her lackeys to help fix the weapon array, members of the Kabal of the Frozen Heart are still shot on sight
>Understandable, I just wish the craftworlders weren't so modest in the cut of their clothing, it is way to hot and humid for wearing that much fabric
>About an hour later, following some make-up application, a wardrobe change, a quick trip through the Webway, and a lot of wandering around pretending that I belong while discreetly looking for Tolria, I manage to find her trying to worm her way backwards out of tight mechanical space
>Patiently wait, not wanting to alarm her (and also enjoying the view)
>When she finally crawls her way free and notices my presence, wave awkwardly and simply say "Hi"
>This will be interesting

>be Archbishop of The Church Of The Emperor's Holy Gifts
>be livid
>my requests for the founding of a Schola and a Sisters of Battle convent have been denied
>then I get word fucking Tyrranids are on there way here
>fuck.vox
>as the planet is evacuated, only he most pious of my flock stays behind
>have may Holy Militia equipped with as many flamers as possible
>when the xenos filth descend on this world, they shall burn!
>I don my power armor once more and equip my self with a with a nice big Thunder Hammer
>im gonna squash this bugs
>then order my men to take up positions with the Imperial Guard
>and now, now we wait

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>be Bishop Bullwinkle
>be the Archbishops right hand man
>wearing a slick white tux and cowboy hat
>be moving up and down the defensive lines
>be preaching the good word of the emperah
>be singing Gospel and soul
>raising morale
>the men take well to my signature song, 'Hell to The Naw Naw'

bump

>>69932817
>>69933537
>>69935474
>Be me
>Head Field Chirurgeon Octavius Graves
>Just finished up setting the triage
>Still have a few extra tent polls, so I bring them to Jernwick
>Help her set up the tent to see a metric fuck-ton of tanks roll by
>They are all marked for the 531st
>When did we get tanks?
>Monica shrugs and says she doesn’t know
>Turn on the vox
>WTFisthathereticalnoise.vox
>Sounds like more orks are on their way
>Great, orks and tyranids
>Start briefing the new medics on proper procedures and what qualifies for “fully mission capable”
>One of them asks me where we keep the painkillers
>Might be a addict, can’t quite tell
>Tell them that I will give them the painkillers when they need them
>Finish up my briefing
>Something tells me this is gonna be a long day

>>69935484
>>69937656
>be me
>Commissar Dell Lugermorph
>Strategizing with Von Hansburg and the others
>The new tanks help out
>Decide to turn on the radio and relax a bit
>whyisorkheresyonmyradio.vox
>Promptly turn the damn thing and blam it for good measure
>So now orks are coming
>FML
>Look to Edric and ask if she had any ideas
>Because I can handle orks, but not orks, tyranids, deldar, and tau

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>be Tyranid hive fleet Grabakr
>I hunger
>I enter planetary system
>I see planet
>I has biomass
>yummy.synapse

>>69942173

>*it has biomass

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>Be me, Imperial fists 5th company Lieutenant Gereon Paulicus
>In preparation for the incoming Tau attack, all of the companies forces have been moved to Groxbridge
>The captain informed us of a Daemonic incursion in Liveria, followed by a failed attempt at attacking the forces besieging it
>We've left the guard in charge of maintaining the defence as stopping the Tyranids at Groxbridge would seem to be the best course of action
>Over the past 3 months we have overseen the construction of defences all over the city
>Maluan has decided to stay planetside for this occasion so that he may oversee the defence of Groxbridge personally
>We've deployed as many of the chapters armoured assets in the city as possible, including our Land Raider Achilles which we've been loath to use
>We've stationed our strike cruiser in orbit to allow for rapid insertion of drop pods
>Maluan has also apparently allowed Marshal Hans to deploy via drop pod from our strike cruiser as well
>What they're up to I am uncertain of as I have been busy overseeing the deployment of various traps, explosives, fortifications and so on inside the city
>The central island of Groxbridge has effectively been turned into a gigantic artillery and anti-air park
>Chrysotile and Stankonia have been turned into a guerrilla nightmare and Sloan has been largely remade into a series of forts
>As I'm performing the final checks, decide to listen to the vox
>It appears that Orks have managed to hack the civilian vox station here
>Rubicon, who's been helping me, becomes visibly angry and runs off
>Several minutes later I hear orks screaming with the sound of very loud music playing in the background
>Then the signal goes dark
>What a strange course of events
>However, something catches my eye as I look up into the sky
>Looks like Nova cannons firing
>It would seem that the invasion is at hand
>Forward the information to Maluan and every imperial commander nearby
>I believe our defences shall soon be put to the test

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>Be Tolria, self-proclaimed Exarch of Alaitoc
>Stupid mon'keigh tech
>It's absolutely roasting in here
>Consider removing part of my clothing but decide against it
>Go to get something cold to drink to cool off in the damp nighttime heat
>Turn around and who do I see in front of me other than Trys'ta
>She shifts around and says hi
>Stand up, but forget I'm still in a restricted height space
>Smack my head on the ceiling and scrunch the eartip for good measure
>YYYEEEEEEOOOOOOWWW
>Hop around in pain
>Don't look so amused. Not everybody likes being in pain like you do.
>You're dressed like one of us, but why nobody questioned your skin tone means the Imperials must be dumber than I thought, or perhaps REALLY non-discriminatory
>Now, I'm sure you came for something, so do go ahead
>Before she can begin, the communicator squawks
>Hive Fleet Grábakr has arrived in the system eight hours ahead of schedule
>Oh, prahh'bari
>Ok, can you wait a minute Trys?
>The Fleet is still several hours out from the planet itself, and we have to get that cannon online NOW
>The other cannons start clanking and whirring into position as the bootup crews get yelled at to hurry up
>Bollocks to protocol, skip sequences 47 to 97, they're non-essential!
>That button on the right of the console overrides the safety locks that force the check procedure
>Now press it and get that fucking thing firing!
>The other three operational guns of the array start loosening shots with a deafening thunderclap roar and the ground shakes from the tremendous force
>How the cannons don't destroy themselves is a mystery
>Flashes appear in the sky as the extreme-range naval cannons open fire
>Turn back to Trys'ta and shout over the thundering din
>AS YOU WERE?

>>69937162
>>69933537
>>69929869
>>69941916
>Be inquisitor leonpines Edric of the ordo Xenos
>I left the 531st regiment camp after my inspection
>How is that possible that medics are cleaner than commissars?
>Because that Dell wasn't really nice and cooperative
>But he is lucky that nids are coming that his regiment needs him
>My kill-team comes at the camp to tell me to get the radio
>Orks
>On the radio
>Oh great we just needed a Octarius-like war
>Vox Von Rosen about this situation
>Tell himm to get prepared for looting and MOAR DAKKA expeditions form the orks in his sector
>The commissar comes to me for advise
>Oh the irrony
>Flamer, plasma and ant- air/armor guns will do fine
Always ask a specialist heh?
>Turning back to my space marines they hand me a record of the ork and reports
>The orks on the radio called himself "Kommando Khodork" one of the lieutenants of Orko Von Dakamark as our previous reports states
>I hope that rogue trader is sill here
>He could be usefull in the next events

>>69942586
>be me
>Commissar Dell Lugermorph
>Deep breaths Dell, and don’t think about how much you want to punch Edric in her very punchable face
>Retort with a:
While I am thankful for the advice Inquisitor, I believe you misunderstood my question. If I had wanted advice on HOW to kill a ork, I would ask one of my guardsmen. I wouldn’t waste my time or faith in the inquisition asking you. What I wanted to know, is how you would like me to use my forces in the inevitable battle between the combined forces of the Tau, Tyranids, Dark Eldar, and the Orks. Now, unless you have any useful information then forget I said anything. Now if you excuse me...
>Walk away and go back to talking to Von Hansburg And the other commanding officers on how to handle this new problem
>Edric’s stupid looking face and stunned silence was worth it

bump

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>>69935484
>>69935500
>>69935515
>>69936621
>be me
>sneakyboi little finger
>so more of da bois are here
>but they are for anotha clan
>besides, me new boss dont hit me, or see me
>dabestboss.daka
>start gettin ready for a fight
>me boss is kinda freaked out over my skill at sniping
>she must not have known about how good i was
>see one of da killa kahn in da distance through me binos
>aim at da soft squishy bits in da middle and fire
>boom.daka
>mfw i just killed me first killa kahn

>>69936621
>be me
>Guardsman Lew
>Diplomatic Liaison to the 531st Cadian Regiment and the local Sisters of battle
>Killing time with the sisters while we wait for a assignment
>Start telling each other’s war stories
>Tell them about the time I killed a dark eldar with a Krieger Suplex
>That was fun
>Sister Grace tells us the time she saw Sister Bios deliver the Emperor’s righteous justice with a broken amesec bottle
>We all chuckle because we know she was drunk when that happened
>This bit of camaraderie lessens the inevitable dread of potentially facing tyranids
>This is good, and maybe our mystery sniper friend will keep providing cover fire
>lifeisgood.voxcast

Bumping for ya gits

>>69941682
>Be Trooper Monica Jernwick, Acting Vox Officer, 78th Risian Light Infantry
>Comms tent is now all set up and ready to go
>It has got a big crate to serve as a table, a smaller crate for sitting on, and a 3rd crate to serve as a bed, and that is pretty much it
>Such is life in the Guard
>Graves shows up and asks where all the tanks came from
>Shrug since don't know
>Try voxing various officials to see where the tanks came from, but everyone is too worked up about the imminent Tyranid invasion and the rumors of Orks to get any sense out of
>Get message from Space Marine Paulicus that the Tyranid fleet is in orbit and has engaged the fleet
>Fuck
>The Commissar is the defacto leader of the regiment, but he is away on some briefing thingy
>Head over to talk to Graves instead
>He seems like the defacto second-in-command most of the time, plus his tent is right next to mine, so I won't have to haul 80 pounds of vox-caster any further than necessary

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>Be Rogue Trader Stannim Lherzon
>Travelling at sublight is painfully slow even within a system
>It takes over an hour to get there at slowboat speed
>Still, being able to sit back and watch the calming dance of death is worth it
>I suppose it represents the galaxy in a way
>Slowly cracking and crumbling apart as both sides spiral towards mutual destruction
>A sudden urgent vox transmission startles everyone on the bridge
>The Fleet has arrived early and the ship is being recalled to the battle
>Why do my quiet times always get interrupted?
>Swing back towards Damnatum Lutum
>We should get there with time to spare, since the Hive Fleet is even slower than we are
>It's been a while since I fired at something with the old macrocannons
>How about some nice major fleet action as a shakedown cruise?
>Pat the console
>I know you'll see us though, old girl
>I used some pulled strings and a large quantity of cash to obtain some rather nonstandard upgrades for the IJB during its refit
>Not even the local Imperials know what it's capable of now
>I think I should be able to provide a shock to both sides
>Now let's go and get stuck into the fight
>No, no, that's too much of an Orky way of thinking

>Be me, Tank Commander Hans Heinrich Hochberg
>Stationed in Sloan, guarding the main highway with my squad and some infantry
>Me and my squad have gone through all the necessary checks, everyone's stocked up on ammo and my Lady has been suitibly reeved up for what's about to occur
>Considering our position I say there are some strong odds we're all dead men walking
>I have some reason to believe that even if I was to die though, my lady would fight on by herself
>Have a direct vox connection to the Kriegers ahead of us, they seem oddly happy
>Freaky...
>Josef's sitting on top of his Macharius' turret, his knees are shaking like hell and he's chugging something out of a glass bottle
>Gave Anshelm 2 hours to go have "fun" with his xeno girlfriend, he came back rosy cheeked and smelling odd
>Told him he could redeem himself by dying today
>Johann is swapping war stories with our fellow Steel legionaries
>Oswald and Techy are embracing one another, probably for the last time
>Sitting next to my open command hatch smoking my last Lho-stub
>Take a drag as Friederich walks up to me and sits down on
>Sit quite for a moment before he speaks
>"You ever thought it would end like this?"
>"End like what?"
>"Y'know, against Tyranids."
>Blow out a puff of smoke
>"No... can't say I did. I always thought it would be Orks."
>"Yeah, me too. You remember that charge on Hadrian's world?"
>"You mean the one in the valley with a purple waterfall?"
>"Mhm, I thought that would be it for sure."
>"I'm surprised we even made it out of that in one piece"
>Hear Georg shout "Speak for yourself!"
>The three of us chuckle, then go silent
>Then we all collectively hear the message from Lieutenant Paulicus about the 'nids and fleet fighting
>Order everyone to get into their vehicles, one or two hours from now we'll be bug hunters
>See a bright lance of... something flying into space at hyper-hypersonic speeds
>Must be Stonehenge
>They better leave some for us, I've always wanted to bag a Carnifex

>>69942544
>Be Sybarite Trys'ta, Kabal of the Frozen Heart
>Tolria scrapped her ear tip pretty good there, it might even be bleeding a bit
>Surprised that she doesn't try putting on a hat or a headband before poking her head in that rusty, jagged collection of machinery
>An aeldari as to be careful of her ear tips, they are almost as sensitive as her ni'oh, getting an infection there is most unpleasant, I would know
>Also certain craftworders are pretty pale, with a bit of light make-up I got more coloration than some of the Ulthwe types
>Boredly wait while Tolria activates the big mon keigh gun
>I guess it is kind of a big deal that they got it operational, and took out a bunch of Tyranids with it, but honestly couldn't care less about this planet
>I just want to back to doing lines of powdered hytada off some slave's quivering backside, is that too much to ask?
>Tolria finally turns her attention back to me
>Wait, what was I supposed to say again? I already forgot
>Pull out Wyen'dala's letter (written on flayed skin of course) and read off the key points
In the spirit of friendship between our two great cultures, the Great Dracon Wyen'dala wishes to provide the following updates
Number one, the forces of She Who Thirsts and The Changer of Ways have corrupted most of the population of Liveria
Number two, they are building arcane portals to Groxbridge, Stonehenge, and possibly other locations
Number three, we don't know their objectives, but the bident and the Stonehenge weapon seem likely targets
Number four, we have rallied some of the remaining Tau forces to help us sabotage the efforts of the Dark Gods, and will help kill any Tyranids or Orks that show up in Liveria, consider this the aid I promised
>Well that was boring
>Hand Tolria the letter in case she wants to read the tedious minor details
So uh, I am just going to leave now unless you need me for something
No wait, Wyen'dala will want some sort of response, let me know when you think of something

>>69947444
>Muses this diplomacy junk is boring! Lean against a wall and daydream of the totally awesome drug fueled orgy I will organize the minute I get back to base, hopefully Tolria won't take too long to make a decision

>>69944018
>Be Captain Priscilla Von Hansburg, 4th Baroness of Bluven, 1st Happy Ending Regiment
>Watching out the massive northeast facing windows as the Stonehenge weapon fires into orbit
>Pity there is so much rain and cloud cover, I beat this would be even more impressive if it was a clear sky
>Find myself strangely calm all things considered
>Behind me I can hear Commissar Lugermorph sassing the Inquisitor, and smell the smoke from the vox he recently shot
>He sure does like living on the edge
>I guess like many of us he doesn't plan on surviving the next 24 hours
>Might as well get this over with
>Wish Dell, the Inquisitor, and the other officers a pleasant evening before asking to be excused to head back to my company
>The doorman holds an umbrella over my head as I walk over to my staff car and ask my adjutant Chastity to drive me back to company HQ
>Chastity is clearly terrified of the upcoming battle, but I can't think of anything comforting to say as I contemplate how the cold dread of calmly heading to near certain death is somehow even worse than the hot terror of being chased by a much stronger opponent

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>be me
>Clicky the Psyker
>cant stand it here in this hive city
>the others in scholla mock me for my goggles
>they dont know about the lightning eyes i guess
>ithinkthatswhyiamalive.warp
>they try to chase me around and hit me with sticks
>but they are better then the daemons
>they try to tempt me and make me a skin suit
>i don't like that
>once i am out of sight, i climb into my safety box lined with purity seals and scripture i "found" in the chapel
>the warehouse i am in is quiet
>put on the big officer hat and coat i found in a alley one day
>close the lid
>i am safe in this box, i can sleep here
>wake up a bit latter
>there is a lot of talking and other loud noises
>slide the lid off of the box
>i am not in my warehouse
>heck, i don't think im even on the same planet anymore
>there is alot of guardsmen walking around and prepareing for a fight i think
>they start talking about orks and tyranids
>mfw
>slide back into the box and start sucking my thumb
>thiscantberealthiscantberealthiscantbereal.warp
>>69947933
>stick my head back up out of the box
>see some fancy lady walking out of a building
>normally would beg people like that for spare change or food, but a escape out of here will work
>scramble out of the box with my hat and coat on and fall to my knees asking her to help me out here
>hope the sickly green goggles dont weird her out

>>69946800
>Be me
>Head Field Chirurgeon Octavius Graves
>Coms Officer Jernwick runs up to me after the briefing and tells me the bad news
>The tyranids fleet is here and attacking our fleet
>see previous mfw
>Oh hell
>Tell her to buzz all units on our frequency and to let everyone know
>Give her a spare gun and some more phosphorus rounds
>Tell her to be careful
>Run to the commanders and let them know that the nid fleet is here
>One of them slams their head into a desk
>iknowthefeeling.vox
>Run back to the triage to let everyone know to prepare for everything
>Assign a few more guardsman to guarding the camp
>Emperor protect us all

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>Be Por'Saal Bi'Tidiis
>I was originally sent to this world to fill some minor bureaucratic role, but things have gone really, really, really, reeaaaallllyyyy badly
>My ship got wrecked, the escape pod I took down to the surface landed in the middle of a warzone, I got captured by some Imperials who constantly argued whether to have me killed or leverage me as a hostage, I got dragged along on a suicide mission against my own people, somehow survived only to get captured by some weird shape-shifting woman, then got busted out of my cell by a mysterious stranger who brought me to the T'au capital city of this world, which was of course in chaos and overrun with monsters
>My "savior", who I strongly suspect is just the shape shifting woman again, disappeared not long after we arrived in Liveria, apparently having gone off looking for the highest ranking T'au she could find
>She told me to lie low for a bit, but not long afterwards, a camera drone with what appeared to be horns and a giant pair of testicles started buzzing around my hiding spot and I decided to find a new location
>Since then I have encountered a number of horrors, each more bizarre than the next
>I have heard that the raw energy of the Warp can sometimes have strange effects on both flesh and machines, and that psychically sensitive individuals can sometimes funnel that raw energy, but many of the entities I have seen seem to be created completely of raw Warp energy, and definitely seem to be sentient
>Perhaps the primitive cultures we were taught to mock in school weren't so wrong after all

>>69948071
>Be Captain Priscilla Von Hansburg, 4th Baroness of Bluven, 1st Happy Ending Regiment
>Some weird misfit in an officer's uniform and preysense goggles comes stumbling over asking for help
>I don't recognize the uniform, but with all the new regiments that have shown up lately that is not too surprising
>He says something about needing help out of here, not sure what he means, but probably some desk jockey who can't take the stress of counting down the minutes to the upcoming fight
>I'd be being dishonest if I said I have never thought of deserting myself, but the chances of success are minimal, and I would rather die with some dignity
>Still, decide to hear him out, perhaps some enemy has infiltrated the area and he is just trying to flee the neighborhood
>Discretely pull out my laspistol and put it on my lap as I open the car window a bit and call out "What are you talking about? Speak clearly, the Emperor expects more from his officers!"

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>Be me
>Captain Richard of the Salamander's 9th reserve company
>Cruising around the system looking for heresy to purge
>Our astropath says that there is a planet with a imminent Tyranid invasion
>Out of all the heretical xenos, I hate Tyranids the most
>The Imperium has lost too many good men to those over-sized cockroaches
>Order my brothers to suit up and prepare for landing
>Nearly missing the Tyranid Hive Fleet, we land at the impromptu staging area
>Order my brothers to ready their heavy bolters and heavy flamers
>Stomp over to the command quarters to introduce myself and to ask if there is anywhere that needs a healthy dose of holy fire
>Guardsmen stop and stare at us as we get ready for battle
>theemperor'sfinestisheremen.boltgun

>>69948892
>be me
>Clicky the Psyker
>oh god...not making good impressions here...
>my warpy danger senses are tingling
>she has a gun in her lap now
>clam down clicky you will be fine
>wait officer?
>is this an officer's clothes?
>oh forget it, just tell her bluntly
Ok listen, I'm not supposed to be here, I'm not even old enough to enlist, and I need to get the heck out of here...
>point to my safety box covered in purity seals
...I went to sleep in there, and then I woke up here.
>emperor my teeth are chattering
>i will let you guess why they called me clicky
Miss I beg you, I need to get out of here...please.

>be Archbishop of The Church of The Emperor's Holy Gifts
>currently leading my Holy Militia and a ton of Guard and PDF in a mass sermon before the battle
>pray to the Emperah to give us strength and to preserve us
>also prey for victory and a good turnip harvest this fall
>as im preaching Bishop Bullwinkle directs my attention to our left
>Space Marines in green armour
>its The Salamanders
>i yell
Praise be to the Emperah! For he has sent more of his angels to preserve us from the foul nids
>those attending immediately and see the Salamanders
>they then bow and praise the Emperor's angels
>for they came to deliver us

>>69948197
>Be Trooper Monica Jernwick, Acting Vox Officer, 78th Risian Light Infantry
>Busy trying to ensure that all our outlying units and personnel are aware that the arrival of the 'Nids will begin shortly
>Annoyingly, the only person I am unable to reach is Commissar Dell Lugermorph
>It is almost like his personal vox unit got damaged somehow...
>At this point the full realization that the 'Nid attack is coming sooner than expected is hitting me hard
>My hands are shaking badly as I ask several general and specific frequencies if they know where the Commissar is
>Rumor has it that he is attending a briefing at the Happy Ending regimental HQ, but the arrogant toadie manning the vox there says the meeting is for Happy Ending officers and unspecified guests only, and he wasn't going to barge into the meeting and start asking for Dell
>Stifle a scream of frustration and stress and stomp out of the tent to go find some hapless new recruit to vent at

>>69948984
>Be Captain Priscilla Von Hansburg, 4th Baroness of Bluven, 1st Happy Ending Regiment
>Hmmm, it is just some kid in a stolen uniform
>Who apparently showed up in a box covered in purity seals
>Great, probably a psyker or something
>This really seems like more of a problem for Dell or the Inquisitor to be handling
>On the other hand, we will probably need all the help we can get against the Tyranids
>Think for a bit, then try to project a sense of calm I am not really feeling
Okay kid, first of all, you have to take off the uniform, impersonating an officer is a capital offense
Secondly, what do you mean by "out of here"? This parking lot? The neighborhood? The city? The planet?
Thirdly, why do you want to leave? What are you trying to escape from?

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>>69945005
>>69946982
>Be me
>Duh sneekiest Ork in duh sektuh, Kommando Kohdork
>Me an duh boyz uv duh nyn'undrud an firzt kommando squad 'av puld off Orko'z plan pretty zoggin well
>Duh boyz we 'ad keepin tabz on duh raydioh stayshun on duh planitz surfiss onlee juzt got krumpd
>On top a dat, duh 'ologramz wot we nikd frum duh bloo pansiez an reguluh pansiez ar kurruntlee distraktin a lot uv duh 'umiez on duh grownd
>Dey'll notiss dat duh "boyz" down dere aynt reel in a minit, but dat sootz me an duh boyz juzt zoggin fyn
>Get me 'ed bak in duh gaym az me bezt mayt Kommando Squiggoth getz dun wiv 'akin intuh sum uv duh traydi gitz systumz so we can 'av a peek at wotz goin on in duh ship
>'im an iz boyz 'avunt notiss'd duh lovlee musik me an duh boyz ar playin for 'im!
>Datz juzt rood!
>Az I almohzt krump duh skreen in frushtrayshun, Squiggoth tapz me on duh sholduh an poyntz at duh skreen agen
>Notiss dat dere aynt no speekuhz or skreenz in duh traydi gitz mayn kuntrohl sentuh
>Oh, zog, datz kud be a dampuh on Orko'z post-krumpd planz
>No, I kant zoggin fink lyk dat! Diss wuz Orko'z lazt ideeyer 'for he 'krumpd it in diss 'ere kroozer!
>Get Kommando Kayv Noyz to 'av a krak at 'akin intuh duh kummand sentuh an fynd sumfin we kan yooz
>Az ekspektid, Kayv Noyz getz sum reezultz, az duh traydi git 'az sum 'ologram projektuhz in 'iz kommand sentuh
>I iz smylin wiv glee now az I program duh 'ologramz mezelf
>Dey suddunlee flik on an show an 'ologram uv Orko rippin sum chaoz boy a new won an beetin 'im senzluzz
>Gud tymz, I miss duh big bugguh
>Duh traydi git fallz owt uv 'iz sittin spot an startz skreemin wiv suhpryz
>Me an duh boyz laff lyk zoggin draynz az we kontinyoo sneekin in duh bowuhlz uv duh ship, gettin ar breevin mazkz on juzt in kayz
>Duh nyn'undrud an firzt'z job aynt dun yet!
>mfw

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>>69949325
>>69944018
>>69949206
>Be inquisitor Leonpines Edric of the ordo Xenos
>That commissar is begging for an execution or what?
>He is asking kill-team directing inquisitor what the best position to fight the xenos ?
>On a rather mocking tone?
>Turn to Lividus the excoriartors of my kill team
Aren't your brothers of the imperial fists on the planet? They are always ok to fight alongside guardsmen
Unless the commissar here is refusing the aide of Emperor's angels?
And that he is turning renegade?
>He laughs
>Walk away as he try to explain
>Tell Ketua the Carcharodon terminator to put him on a watchlist
>See the com-officer of the regiment and the medic
Good luck you two. It's the first time I see guardsmen more loyal than their commissar...
>Suddenly a big flash of light comes of the island
>Fabulous
>No really
>It's working
>Von Rosen you mad bastard!
>This means that they are coming
>Finally
>Smile and look at the sky
>Yup they are here
>Get back to groxbridge and tell my spaceship that if it's necessary to use the "special pill"
>Get voxed by Priscilla about a psyker child
>On my way perhaps he fits into the requirements to become a space marine ?
>If not he can still be usefull as an interrogator

Bump

>Be Tolria, self-proclaimed Exarch of Alaitoc
>I can't hear a word she's saying over the noise of the guns
>Resist the temptation to rub the very sore eartip
>Such actions lead to Slaanesh
>Take the skin partment between thumb and forefinger
>At least it's dried out and not still dripping with blood
>It's difficult to read when everything is shaking
>Daemons in Liveria.....portals.....targets.....
>ALL RIGHT, THANK WD FOR KEEPING HER END FOR ME
>THE MECHANICUS WILL DEFEND THE BIDENT WITH THEIR LIVES AND I'LL SEND KERALA TO KEEP AN EYE ON THE ARRAY
>WE'LL KEEP YOU POSTED WITH ANY INFO WE FIND OUT OURSELVES
>I'VE GOT TO RETURN TO GROXBRIDGE TO LEAD THE DEFENSE SO YOU CAN FIND ME THERE
>I also need to get out of here before I go deaf
>The troops won't organise themselves
>As far as they're concerned I'm still at HQ and definitely didn't sneak out to bash things with a spanner
>Not being a trained Exarch will be an issue here
>They are expected to lead from the front, but I'm still effectively a Ranger who likes to keep things at, well, range
>I have been training with a Power Lance but I'm mediocre at best with it
>Hopefully I can find some time to sneak off and shoot things later
>The jetbike I finally managed to requisition as a replacement at least means I don't need to use Kerala as a taxi any more
>We're going to win this fight
>I know we will
>We have to

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>Be me, Lord Inquisitor Greger von Rosen
>Sitting in our HQ in Wapper Central
>Going through the battle plans with the Colonels and my friend General Aufreißer I get a message from AL
>Stonehenge was fired at the Tyranid fleet, which has now engaged the Imperial fleet
>Vox the Admiral, I can hear him laughing manically
>Ask him if we hit the Hive ship, turns out we didn't, but we took down at two devourers, three Razorfiends and a flurry of escorts
>He says that it seems Stonehenge missed the Hive ship by a bit
>Well, that's annoying
>Switch vox back to AL, ask if the Aeldari skipped an sequences
>Apparently, it was SOMEONE'S bright idea to skip sequence 97 which performs a tertiary calibration check
>Oh well, I can't be too mad at them, this device was made for shooting Planetoids, I'm just glad we hit the enemy
>"Reload, fire again and perform sequence 97 this time"
>SomeOnesGonnaGetTheirXenoEartipsPinchedForThat.FuckinAliens
>Just as I get out of the vox call, a space marine burst through the door
>"Greetings my guardsman friends!"
>Salamanders, fantastic
>Turns out they've deployed their entire company to the city, presumably they got let through via the highways
>I'm glad they could make it though, their flavor of warfare suits this fight just fine
>They ask where they might be needed
>Tell him we'll have to wait and see for when the Tyranids arrive, but for now I suggest holding the western highway
>Suddenly the Vox flares up again, it's Falkar
>He says that several damaged Tyranid ships are veering toward the planet
>He also says that the Hive ship is launching small objects toward the planet in absolutely gigantic quantities
>They must be launching Mycetic spores and Tyrannocytes
>Forward Krieger outposts rapport seeing flying creatures decending over the Horizon
>Rush outside and see a thick blanket of colourful creatures flying down over the horizon
>Walk back inside and hear the General ordering everyone to scramble aircraft
cont...

>>69952868
>Rush out of the HQ toward my Thunderhawk
>I can see troops getting into position everywhere, sirens are going off all across the city signaling the attack
>Glad I already put my power armour on
>Scions in my thunderhawk already have their Grav-chutes on
>My veteran Crusaders aren't suited to using them, both them and I will be going without
>Put on my helmet as the Thunderhawk takes off, vox the Harakoni
>Tell them to prepair for drop in one and a half hours
>They seem rather enthusiastic, I suppose an entire regiment of Paratrooping adrenalin junkies would be
>Make the sign of the Aquila as my Thunderhawk flies off toward Groxbridge spaceport
>Soon, we'll all face the final test
>Humans, xenos and heretics alike are about to clash in a battle that'll decide the fate of all of our lives
>I only know one thing for certain: the Kriegers will be enjoying themselves today

>>69949451
>be me
>sneakyboi litte finger
>lookin through me binos trying to find more gits to krump
>see somefing i havent seen in months
>komandos
>looks like they are trying to be sneaky
>butiamdamostsneakyboi.waagh
>one of them got a big bag of yellow daka
>you stupid git you don’t paint it yellow until afta you put it down
>shoot da zoggin moron
>bag blows up, but it only manages to kill him
>da rest of da team is trying to figure out who da shoota is
>one of dem got a stolen radio
>get on mine and buzz da gits
Oi, dis is my turf, now zog off and krump somewhere else. Or by gork i will fill ya full of more holes than da spiky purple ‘ummies

>>69949325
>>69949800
>be me
>Clicky the Psyker
>start handing her my hat and trying to tell her that i need off of the planet
>hear a lady clear her throat behind me
>turn around to see the second worst thing a psyker like me could see
>big black coat, check
>fancy looking seals, check
>followed by a team of scary looking guards, check
>its one of those crazy pep ole from the inquisition
>mildpanic.warp
>the first worst thing to see for a psyker is a daemon
>try to keep my warp tainted spaghetti in my pockets
>not doing so well tho
>teeth are chattering like crazy now
Umm...hello miss...I was just trying to ummm...give this coat to this nice lady, and ummm just trying to get back home...
>calm down clicky, just roll with it
>pray to the emperor that she doesnt try to remove the goggles
>hear some explosion in the distance
>hope that everyone is distracted enough to look at it
>no such luck i guess
>is that just a common thing here?

>>69953473
*people sorry for the typo

>>69949800
>Be me
>Head Field Chirurgeon Octavius Graves
>Wonderful, the commissar is in a pissing match with a Inquisitor
>The commissar makes note of it and follows us out of the tent
>There we see some kid in a hopefully borrowed officer’s coat having a mental breakdown at the Happy Ender commander
>Why is there a kid here?
>See the goggles
>ohnowigetit.vox
>Probably a psyker
>See that the Inquisitor is walking up to the kid
>She doesn’t instantly shoot the kid
>Odd, normally I’d think these inquisitors would relish the opportunity to kill psykers
>Head back to the coms/triage/Cadian base of operations
>Grab a bottle of amesec
>Pour a shoot for everyone in the medical team and the coms team
To the 531st, the 78th Risian Light Infantry, and to our hopeful survival of this damnable battle.
>cheers.vox

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>>69953245
>Be me
>Duh sneekiest Ork in duh sektuh, Kommando Kohdork
>Me an duh boyz ar still up on duh traydi gitz ship sneekin in duh mayntuhnunz ventz
>Chattuh frum duh WAAAAGHki talki indikaytz dat duh bug boyz 'av aryvd
>An dere'z sum git dat keepz shootin duh 'ologramz
>He he, I wunduh if 'eez notiss'd yet
>Meenwyl, Kommando Lotsa Dakka had a zoggin grayt ideeyer!
>Letz mess up duh roomz in duh playz tuh spook duh 'umiez an pansiez silly!
>Mayb if we do dat, dey'll fink Orko iz 'awntin 'em frum beeyond duh krumpin
>Az we get tuh duh frizt vent in a wyl, Squiggoth slowly liftz duh vent opun tuh tayk a peek owtsyd
>Zipz bak down lyk a grot wot got bopd by 'iz warboss
>"Oy, Kommanduh! Dat traydi git iz up dere!"
>All duh boyz peek 'ar edz up, an zoggin 'ell Squiggoth wazunt zoggin abowt
>Duh traydi git iz maykin 'iz way tuh sum kinda 'umie relaxin room
>It lukz zoggin borin! Not evun a grot to punch or a squig tuh chew on! Zoggin 'umiez
>meanduhboyzwen
>Duh 'umiez terruhbul senz uv tayzt uhsyd, we watch az duh traydi git fallz azleep on 'iz sohfuh
>Hehe, dat givz me an ideeyer
>Aftuh all, Orko'z pre-krump'd orduhz wernt spuhsifik
>"Juzt spook duh git ryt an proppah if he gohz an krumpz me sum'ow!"
>Sneek up tuh duh sleepin git
>Me an Rambork get duh smohk bomz wot we keep duh tymz lyk diss
>Az we preepar tuh put duh plan intuh akshun, grab Orko'z old 'elmit off duh traydi gitz ed
>I haz an ideeyer duh diss, an yoo wohnt be needin dat 'at for it ya git!
>Me an rambork drop duh bomb(z), very litruhlee in Rambork'z cayz
>Zoggin 'ell mayt, dat smellz lyk sumfin got krumpd in yuh belly
>We sneek bak tuh duh entrunz az we 'eer duh traydi git wayk up an start koffin lyk mad
>Az 'ee dohz, Lotsa Dakka startz blastin 'iz shoota intuh duh room willy nilly
>A lot of shockd yelpz cum owt frum insyd az duh traydi git 'eerz duh shotz
Cont...

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>>69953484
Don't worry about it man, that happens a lot on here lol

>>69955291
>"Orko! I know you're out there you monstrous lout! C... come out and face me! Like... last time! Yeah, that's right! I'll shoot you like last time! S... so come on out!"
>He he, I fink duh stratuhjee iz wurkin
>Put Orko'z 'elmit on fuh a minit an step intuh duh doorway
>Duh smohk covuhz me troo form, wiv duh traydi git onlee sein Orko'z shadow
>'eer a ryt lowd "BY THE THRONE" an lazuh shotz frum insyd wen I do, den Kayv Noyz frohz in a boomi stik covuhd in Squig snot
>Stikz lyk nuffin elz duz dat stuff
>I tayk off Orko'z 'elmit an bugguh off wiv duh ladz bak intuh duh ventz, duh smohk an eksplohsivz covuhrin duh ehskayp
>Tayk anuvah luk up wiv Squiggoth az duh traydi git runz ovuh duh vent, not notissin uz at all
>Dohz snaykbyt gitz kan byt my zoggin be'ind! Duh nyn'undrud an firzt iz duh sneekiest arownd!
>Notiss dat Squiggoth 'az a new badj on 'iz chezt
>Poynt at it tuh azk were 'ee got it az we sneek bak intuh duh bowuhlz uv duh ship
>'ee mohshunz dat 'ee got it frum duh traydi git, I get anuvah luk an zoggin 'ell, 'ee aynt rong! It 'az duh gitz naym on an all!
>Tell him "Gess dat maykz yoo Kaptin Squiggoth now!" az duh too uv uz laff lyk zoggin draynz wiv duh ladz

So just to clarify sneakyboi-non, Kohdork and his boyz aren't on little finger's turf, they're on Stannim's ship spooking him silly. Yes, I know, I'm too late for halloween to make the joke.

>>69955446
I get that, I just figured there were more than one team of komandos

>>69949800
>>69954792
>be me
>Commissar Dell Lugermorph
>After a pointless pissing match, and some final strategizing/ last possible goodbyes and follow Graves and Jernwick back to our “base”
>After fully inspecting my bolt pistol and chainsword, I make myself presentable and march out of my tent
>Get onto a hastily put together podium and have my Guardsman brought here
>Take a deep breath and give my speech
Ladies and gentlemen of the 531st Cadian Regiment as well as the 78th Risian Light Infantry, we are facing a battle unlike anything we have experienced. But do not let this deter you, we are some of the finest soldiers this side of the system, and some of you deserve medals when we make it back home. We will be facing the combined forces of the Ork menace, the cowardly Tau, the heretical Dark Eldar, and ravenous Tyranids. However, knowing the men and women in front of me, we are more than ready. If we do end up dying today, know that you are heroes in the eyes of the Emperor, and that you will be alongside him...
>pauseforeffect.blam
...it was my honor serving with you all...
>Salute
...FOR THE EMPEROR!!!!
>Everyone in the crowd cheers back “FOR THE EMPEROR!!!”
>Relay the defensive plans to Vox Officer Jernwick, for now, we are making sure that this area is secure, so that if we do get reinforcements they have somewhere secure to land
>emperorprotectusall.vox

>>69955528
Ah, gotcha.

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>Are we back?
*Several taps on the mic are heard*
>Good, good
>HEEEELLLLOOOO AGAIN GROXBRIDGE!
>And welcome back ladies, gentlemen and xenos!
>I do believe we're back on the air now
>Ork hackers?
>Who'da thought?
>We've finished flipping switches, pulling cables and hitting things with hammers
>Seems to have worked, by the fact that Orkish screeching isn't playing any more
>A few people seemed to like it though, so we've recorded some for the library
>But for now a more pressing issue is at hand!
>The Tyranids are here way ahead of schedule!
>It looks like a few major concentrations of bugs have gotten through the naval battle and are heading for the surface
>SkyEye is in the air spotting for us and we've marked where some of them are for ya
>We'll continue to update the map at idtp://musi/damnatumlutum/grn-radio.grox/tyranid-invasion-live.crt
>Remember to stay behind the lines and run like hell if you see bugs and don't have a gun
>And to the troops out there, we'll try and give you what info we can get with our data and camera networks
>Oh! I almost forgot!
*The sound of the laser cannon can clearly be heard*
>Eat shit, you nasty bugs!
>Anyway, we've still gotta play some muzak
>We got the list of songs voted for by the Guard
>Even a planet-eating invasion ain't gonna stop the music
>We'll start with the old classic #1, shall we?
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIGHCoVzqtk

>>69953473
>Be inquisitor Leonpines Edric of the ordo Xenos
>So this kid is obviously a psyker
Well yes but you may have to keep cloak, wyrdvane
>He does not seems to be fit enough to be taken by a space marine chapter
>As for now he will be coming with me
>It will better than to be eaten alive
>Going back at the deatwatch HQ I tell him to keep his googles on and write everything about his live
>Where he studied, lived, was born and relatioon with xenos
>Then I may consider making him an agent of the throne
>Leave him to prepare myself for the battle

>be Archbishop of the Church Of The Emperor's Holy Gifts
>after my sermon, my Holy Militia and I make our way to the defensive lines
>music from a local vox station is raising the men's morale as much as my preaching
>along the way call the local station to see if they could play some hymns
>eventually we reach the first line of defenses
>we take up positions between the Gaping Grox Hole and the bridges leading into town
>we see the xenos filth landing in the distance
>their presence disgusts me
>I cant wait to purge these fucks
>ImperiatorVault.prayer

>>69957426
>be me
>sneakyboi little finger
>da sisters moving up to support da bishop
>sneak with them, krump any git who try to get me boss Bios
>thank mork for giving me da idea of painting meself purple
>nobody can see me
>bestsneakyboi.krump
>once they get to da frontline, i set up me shoota gun, and me quiet morta shoota
>got me guns, me coffie, me launcha, and all da paint i could need
>comeatmeyagits.daka

>Be me
>Clyde Miller, the tall, selectively mute, younger Miller boy
>Things quieted down aroun' these parts after a tusslin' with some big green fellas what done shot up the place
>Sittin' the livin'room listenin' to muh favurit recorded music
>Flippin' through a comic about a rogue trader who goes an' fights space pirates after his ma and pa get kill'd while I sip on some homemade iced tea
>Alluva sudden there's a big ruckus out the window
>Get up to see
>Sum big tough lookin' critter pulls itself from the swamp outside
>thataintnogator.cajun
>More of 'em pop up, and few more fall from the sky
>watinsamhill.yokelpanic
>Finish off my tea before runnin' to John's room
>Kick his door in and drag him to the front room so he can get himself an eyeful
>While John's gawkin' I go an' get my ol' gear together
>Uniform: yup
>Boots: yup
>Helmet: yup
>Webgear for carryin' ammo cans: yup
>"Borrowed" Heavy Stubber: YUUPPP
>Come back to the livin'room
>John's got his huntin' cammies on an' his guns gathered up
>Time to give them bugbois wat for
>Let's justa hope they cook up nice for dinner, I ain't gonna have time for huntin' anything else today

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>>69958332
>Be me
>Floridus Manus, hobo of the swamp
>Currently wandering my squelchy abode, drinking beer and trying to find an alligator to wrestle
>As I ponder if I should risk hopping into the deeper areas of the swamp to try my luck, hear a lot of loud crashes and screaches
>Emperor-damnit, are those aeldari trying to fuck their swamp-dinos or something?
>Invite me at least!
>Instead a gigantic bug-looking thing and about ten dozen of it's friends smash through the trees
>That's one ugly gator
>I wonder if he likes beer?
>Yell "Hey neighbour!" at the giant bug and approach with my spare six pack of beer
>Get trampled in the charge, die and get consumed for biomass
>mfw

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>Be Sister Bios
>It's go time
>Priority target is the swamp landing site
>It's the location with the highest amount of biomass, and the one where they will be able to multiply quickest
>Wait a minute, how the hell do we get over there?
>The idiot in charge of the local defences dynamited them before the enemy had even entered the system
>Fool! You could have waited!
>Several thousand angry, confused Sisters stand around at the bank wondering how to get across to the enemy
>Then someone has the bright idea that the metro tunnel to the spaceport is still intact
>Everyone rushes the other way back into the city
>Trains are stopped and moved out of the way so the heavy vehicles can squeeze through the pair of tunnels
>Come roaring out of the spaceport station into some very shocked Cadians
>Move aside, move aside!
>We're getting at those Tyranids and nobody can stop us!
>There should be Exodite Eldar in the vicinity also fighting the Tyranids
>A great deal of self-control is required to not immolate the knife-ear scum as well
>High command are borderline heretics for even considering working with them, situation be damned
>Their time will come, but today we have more important things to burn
>As well as Grace and Dapter (and that stupid little snot), I also have Sisters Hertz, Mouse, Phan, Etherne, Vijay and Pinter under my command
>As our forces mass outside the swamp to prepare to attack, I hit on a thought
>One of the other Tyranid landing sites is situated awful close to a volcano capable of producing its own holy fire
>One that has a history of producing powerful pyroclastic flows and has been showing activity recently (though rather overshadowed in importance)
>I think it's time to do some experiments of our own
>Let's see if focused bunker-buster-round orbital bombardment can set off Mt. Rhyo
>Pass it up the chain, if we're lucky it might even reach the Admiral
>But never mind that, right now we have bugs to BBQ
>Squad, form up on me and advance!

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>>69959300
>be me
>Guardsman Lew
>Diplomatic Liaison to the 531st Cadian Regiment and the local chapter of the Sisters of Battle
>Start heading to the nid landing site
>While we are heading there, I wonder aloud if I’m a member of the Ecclesiarchy now
>Sister Grace says I might be, but only technically
>worksforme.vox
>Start passing around fire bombs
>When we get there we start torching bugs
>One almost slashes Bios in half, but it’s soft underbelly pops like a wet balloon
>mfw
>Where is this mysterious sniper that keeps helping us out
>Have to keep myself from laughing when I see that Bios is covered in nid guts like a new recruit
>Get back to toasting bugs like a good member of the Ecclesiarchy
>nothinglikethrsmellofpromethium.voxcast

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>Be us, the Tyranid Hive mind
>More specifically the 229th hive fleet "Grábakr"s Norn queen "Munchy"
>Our fleet's invasion has so far been a failure
>We were unfortunately intercepted by the non-living creatures that hate us so
>To regain our biomass and sate our hunger, the hivemind has delegated for us to consume this fertile planet and destroy the island that strikes fear into the hivemind
>Unluckily for us again, we have ran in to a very large human fleet
>Not entirely as we planned, but we can still work with this
>We've decided on an all-out attack on their frontline of ships, we will rush into them and consume the entire fleet along with it's biomass
>It's the only real way we can think of to defeat them, they outgun us already
>We have decided that we must first consume all life in the city the tasty bi-pedals have called, "Groxbridge"
>We must also consume the fields and the farms, so that we may produce more men
>We must also consume the city "Grimhedge", other fleets have tasted tau and we believe that they taste terrific
>There is a swamp here, that will have much biomass, but it may be dangerous to traverse
>We will first attack and consume much biomass, then we will reposition our landing zone to muddy bottom
>There are big paths leading to the city, we will set up our main landing area east of a big lake
>We will consume the water and use the ferrocrete path to ram into Groxbridge
>We will crash into the human southern line, there is a big watery hole with many tunnels there!
>But there might be dangerous grey immaterium worshipers in the tunnels, they are however a delicacy
>Our Trygon hungers, we will satiate our hunger together on ferrocrete and homo sapiens
>We must also deal with the Island that terrifies the hivemind, but that may have to come later
>Oh, what a fun day this will be!

bump

>>69959714
>Be me
>Head Field Chirurgeon Octavius Graves
>It has begun
>Sirens are going off as our triage starts getting new patients
>Everything from plasma burns to tyranid slashes
>I can hear Monica yelling orders and conveying information to the other units
>Next patient that is brought to me looks bad
>Arm is beyond salvage
>Need a replacement
>Call the tech priest over
>He notes the wound and rummages in a box
>Pulls out a replacement arm and starts the procedure to replace it
>Move on to the next stretcher
>It’s and Eldar
>I’m not the best at xenobiology, but I will give it a shot
>After a few stitches and some cauterization she seems fine
>Hand her some painkillers and ask for my next patient
>gonnastartmyownpracticewheniretire.vox

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>Be Rogue Trader Stannim Lherzon
>All right, I've had it with these pranksters!
>Orks that don't fight you are one thing, Orks that try and drive you mad are another
>And they stole my hat, too. MY HAT!
>I almost wish they would start shooting at me already like Orks are supposed to
>Given their prank style, I suspect they are related to Orko in some way
>I thought that might come back to haunt me, but not quite so literally
>We can scour the ship for them later, but right now the battle outside is a liiiiitle more important
>The fight is already in full swing by the time the IJB reaches the naval lines
>The macrocannons fire a broadside with a roar
>I've missed that glorious sound and being able to feel the firing in your bones
>Watch as the vollet messily rips an Escord Drone in half
>Still, I am but a single ship in what is a vicious battle
>Both sides are taking heavy losses
>Chunks of Hive Ship spatter against the void shield and smaller vessels explode in bursts of gore all around
>A badly out of its depth Enforcer-class of the local fleet is crumpled into scrap by several huge tentacles
>The severed prow of a Retribution-class battleship collides with a Lunar-class and nearly cleaves the ship in half
>At least it's crashing into other ships and not the surface this time
>Oh, and I've got a bright idea
>Grab a wooden board and write a message on it in Orkish
>"AM BIZZY, DO NOT DIZTUЯB"
>Now leave me alone for just a bit, you chucklefucks

>>69956748
>>69959300
>Be Captain Priscilla Von Hansburg, 4th Baroness of Bluven, 1st Happy Ending Regiment
>Well I guess that is settled then, hope things turn out all right for the kid, but such is life in the Imperium
>Staff car continues on its merry way to the temporary company HQ on the west side of the city
>More than a few traffic jams on the way there, judging by radio and comm traffic the Nids have landed and some of the less experienced troops are already breaking down in panic
>Arrive at field where my company's Crassus Armoured Assault Transports are waiting just in time to hear that the large Sisters of Battle formation that we are supposed to be supporting is already moving out
>As expected, the Sisters decided not to stay and man the static defenses, and have instead sallied out to purge the Nids that landed in the salt marshes northwest of the city
>Unfortunately the only way across the rivers to get there is the tunnel to space port, it is tempting to use this as an excuse to halt our advance, but orders are orders, and the Crassus Transports do just barely fit through the tunnels
>Before long we are at the edge of the swamp, as I had feared, the dense bulrushes and mangrove trees give endless cover for the Nids, the heavy rain reduces our visibility, and the flooded terrain greatly reduces mobility
>Well this is going to be fun

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>Archbishop of The Church Of The Emperor's Holy Gifts
>be at the front lines
>as the nids make their charge i begin to squash the over sized bugs with my Thunder Mallet
>squish squash goes the purple bugs
>i look to my left and my right to see my flock piously burning the foul xenos with cleansing fire
>i then decide to improve my militia's morale by reciting prayers and passages from holy texts with my armor's built in vox hailer
>so be me, loudly preaching and squashing over sized roaches with me Thunder Mallet
>todayisthebestdayever.aquila

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>>69949206
>>69954792
>>69955824
>>69960887
>Be Trooper Monica Jernwick, Acting Vox Officer, 78th Risian Light Infantry
>Me and Graves head down to the Happy Ending HQ to retrieve our reckless CO
>Apparently he shot his vox piece and couldn't figure out how to call a staff car without it, so he asked me and Graves personally to come pick him up
>Naturally by the time we show up he is in an argument with the Inquisition
>One would think he would be trying to keep a low profile ever since the Liveria incident, but I guess not, luckily we make it back to base without further issues
>I had basically reached peak anxiety by this point, even a drink with Graves and a surprisingly good speech from Lugermorph doesn't calm me down (except the part where he implied we will be fighting Orks and Dark Eldar, they haven't been a major threat for months, and even the Tau have been surprisingly silent lately)
>The next hour or so is spent anxiously listening to reports from the Sisters, Happy Enders, and other units deployed into the swamp, but it soon becomes clear that a large mass of Nids has been able to outflank the forces in the swamp and is heading toward the northwest end of the airport
>AKA our position
>Fuck
>Against my better judgement, I climb partway up an old radio tower to get a better view
>Yep, they are here
>That is a fuckton of bugs
>Climb down and start shouting orders through the vox to reinforce the north position even further
>I can already hear the medic tent next door working on patients, apparently a mix of Imperial Guard, Sisters, swamp folk, and those strange primitive Eldar, brought in from earlier skirmishes in the swamp
>No doubt things will get a whole lot busier for him soon
>My blood runs cold as I get the latest message from the spaceport
>Several bio-titans have waded across Lake Oxbow and are now attacking our relatively weak positions along the lake edge
>Well that is just great

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>>69961149
>be me
>Commissar Dell Lugermorph
>Routing my tanks to cover the western border
>For some reason, the sisters abandoned their post to go big hunting
>Start ordering men to man the stationary defenses
>Vox Von Hansburg
Looks like you need some help. Mind if I leave a few tanks and some men here?
>Not like there is much room for her to say no
>We start firing on the nids with the big tank guns and newly acquired flamers
>mfw one of our fire bombs goes off and takes a lot of nids with it
Just like old times, ey Hansburg?

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>>69962329
>Be Captain Priscilla Von Hansburg, 4th Baroness of Bluven, 1st Happy Ending Regiment
>It doesn't take long for a few packs of Nids to get past the Sisters of Battle clearance teams and start attacking my company
>Luckily it is mostly just hormagaunts and termagaunts and they don't have the strength to do anything to our Crassus Transports
>The bad news is that each Crassus only has four guns on it, so it isn't long before all of our vehicles are crawling with the little cretins
>Luckily Dell shows up around this time with a squadron of tanks and several squads of men with flamers and homemade fire bombs
>Where he found the tanks and trained crew to man them I have no idea, they must have got reinforcements last minute
>The fight starts becoming a bit more equal at this point, but swarms of Nids continue to flood out from the cover of the bulrushes and mangrove trees
>Dell voxs "Just like old times, ey Hansburg?"
Just like old times Lugermorph
>Actually not sure which old times he is referring to, though I suppose the clean up actions at Liamhelm and Starrick Pass would qualify
>Probably Liamhelm though, there as now, I have grouped my tanks into a V-shaped formation that makes it easier to run over large crowds
>So far it is working great, but I am starting to feel that we will run out of fuel and ammo before the Nids run out of cannon fodder
>Not to mention it is only a matter of time before the Nids deploy some larger lifeforms...

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>>69963406
>be me
>Commissar Dell Lugermorph
>More nids keep showing up
>That’s the bad news
>Good news?
>”Fuel” trucks start pulling in from the rear
>By “Fuel” I mean promethium
>Thank the Emperor and Jernwick for rerouting that truck
>Pretty sure that Hansburg and I faced something like this in my second campaign, but I might have been drunk at the time
>Regardless, we are here, killing nids
>Then Jernwick comes into the vox
>Said there is Tyranid bio-titans
>mfw
>Pray to the Emperor that we have something to counter those

bump

>>69959591
>be me
>sneakyboi little finger
>boss needs to be more careful
>da nid nearly got her
>she is safe though
>keep krumpin da git bugs
>see a clusta of dem in da distance
>load me morta tosser and fire it
>mortascream.daka
>da yellow morta soars through da sky and right into a pack of da nids
>smile as da bodies fly
>love my job
>boss seems happy at my intervention
>bestboss.waagh

>>69956748
>be me
>Clicky the Psyker
>ummm...ok
>crazy inquisitor lady isnt going to kill me i guess...
>what sort of loopy planet am i on?
>where the heck am i even?
>she tells me to write everything about myself
>write?
>i can barely read the scripture on my safety box
>what makes you think i can write about all the horrible stuff that has happened to me?
>she starts to get into a car, saying that she is going to something called "deathwatch hq"
>isnt the death watch some group of space marines or something?
>beg her to take me with her
>has to be safer with space marines than here
>after a bit of begging she relents
>get into the armored car thingy
>fewminutes later and i am telling miss edric about who i am
>hear a loud explosion and the car starts spinning and crashes
>when i wake back up, i see that miss edric and her men are being held on the ground by some weird looking things in yellow...armor?
>one of them looks in and points to me, saying something i cant understand
>realize that everything doesnt have a green tint to it
>right on cue, the air starts to pop, and the hair on my arms stands up
>loudkazap.warpywunderwaffe
>the thing in yellow armor starts to shake and make weird noises
>packs on him start to explode
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!
>cover my eyes and rock back and forth repeating "please dont hurt me"
>hear several loud gunshots and things falling over
>then it gets quiet
>hear miss edric say that im going to be ok
Where are my goggles
>hear her looking around the cab of the armored car
>she puts them on my head
>put the goggles back on
...Thank you miss Edric...

>>69961329
>Be me
>Captain Richard of the Salamander's 9th reserve company
>The Holy Militia fights well
>The Emperor would be proud of them
>See some possibility in some of the younger ones for Aspirant Trials.
>But in the mean time, burn all of the over sized bugs with my heavy flamer
>One tries to rush me
>Grab the heretical xenos by the throat and crush it with mm powerfist
BURN IN HOLY FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!
>The screams of the burning bugs is like music to my ears
>Save the Archbishop by knocking a Tyranid's head off
Be careful sir, we need every soul in this fight.

bump

sleepy time bump

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>>69961045
>Be me
>Duh sneekiest Ork in duh sektuh, Kommando Kohdork
>Well diss 'az got'un a bit zoggin nazty
>Me an duh boyz ar stuk on duh ship az duh 'umiez ar buzy fytin duh bug boyz
>I fink itz abowt tym we left now
>Dere'z sum stuff we kud get tuh doin but we needz tuh be off diss ship an owt uv duh systum
>Aftuh all, Orko did want uz tuh luk owt fuh hiz bigguh mek mayt wen we wuz dun spookin duh traydi git
>Wiv dat in mynd, we need a zoggin ship!
>Kommando Sevrul getz duh ventz opun an we drop intuh duh 'allz uv duh ship
>Sinz duh 'umiez ar so zoggin buzy wiv dohz bug boyz, dey aynt gunna notiss uz, coz we iz duh sneekiest!
>meanduhboyzwen
>We all watch duh bakz uv ar bezt maytz; I watch squiggoth'z, Kayv Noyz an Sevrul watch eech uvuh'z, an Rambork watchiz Lotsa Dakka'z
>Aftuh sum sneeki walkin abowt we iz on duh ryt trak tuh duh 'anguh, an not a momunt too zoggin soon
>Duh pansiez iz bettuh at spottin sneeki gitz dan duh 'umiez, an sum uv duh gitz ar runnin rownd a cornuh at uz
>Kayv noyz frohz anuvah boomi-stik covuhd in squig snot at duh gitz an dey bak off, lettin uz get intuh duh 'anguh
>An dere it iz! Duh tikit off diss ship! Duh traydi gitz shuttul!
>Hehe, I iz soor 'ee aynt gunnuh notiss itz not 'eer til we iz long gohn
>Me an duh boyz get in duh shuttul az Sevrul 'opz intuh duh flyboy seet
>Speed owt duh syd uv duh ship wivowt unuvuh mohmunt tuh looz az lazuhz an dakka flyz arownd uz in spayz
>Az me an duh boyz iz tryna get duh zog away, a stray bit uv dakka clipz a wing on duh shuttul
>Oh zog, dat aynt gud
>Duh ship startz goin strayt down tuh duh planit
>Welp, I 'ohp dat we aynt gunnuh 'it any plahz importunt...

Just as a heads up, these Orkz are essentially going to vanish from action until later. Don't worry, they will return from the shadows, as Kommandoz are experts at doing.

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>Be Captain Antonius of the 1st Damnatus air superiority regiment
>The nids are here
>We gave them a warm welcome
>Due to all of the artillery and AA guns we had to change our course of action
>We cover the ocean
>At first it seemed really stupid idea but given all the living things in there it's actually a good things
>So here we are fifty airplanes facing few thousand bugs
>The good is that we don't have to aim
>Our shots hit them every time
>They are still many
>Time for them to meet little Tom
>Fly away as the first nuke explode behind us
>Nuclearize the drop points of the tyrannids in the sea for good measure

Bump

bump

Bump

>>69962203
>Be me
>Head Field Chirurgeon Octavius Graves
>Using a “medical chainsaw” to amputate a mutilated arm
>Someone stumbles in talking about a bio-titan
>I’m sorry a bio what now?
>Fucking bio-titans?
>Our situation is getting more fucked as time passes
>Next thing I know, there is some alerts about something big and friendly inbound
>Jernwick starts yelling over the vox to clear out the adjacent sector near the staging area
>Well that sounds like good news
>I hope...

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>Be me, Lord Inquisitor Greger von Rosen
>Touch down on Groxbridge spaceport, disembark from my Thunderhawk with only my personal bodyguard of crusaders in toe
>AA fire is flying, the ground is shaking from the fire of Basilisks raining death on the nearby Tyranid landing zones and in the distance I can see two Hierophants
>Uh oh
>We've got a deathstrike stationed in the city, but polluting Lake Oxbow with Radiation would be very detrimental to us
>I've got another idea
>We've got Manticores in-range at the moment, platforms in the city and a single one here
>Vox the nearest Manticore platforms and vehicles, give them the coordinates of the nearest hierophant and tell them to gun for it
>The beast rears its ugly, moist head from the water and begins unloading it's bio-cannons into the Cadians closest to it
>Manticore waits two seconds to calibrate before it fires
>The beast roars as the missile flies at it's open mouth, splits mid-air and sends it reeling back
>It's staggered, but still seems eager to fight
>Then the three other missiles hit it
>Though this time met with a new layer of Chitin over the Hierophants face, this time eight other missiles slam into it from the east
>The Hierophant is knocked straight over, now missing it's right leg
>Cadians stand up from their defences and begin peppering the underbelly of the big fucking thing with thousands, possibly tens of thousands of Lasgun shots
>Some of the armoured support here begins firing at the it's belly too, causing it to finally erupt in a tremendous explosion of gore that covers a 200-meter radius of its corpse
>Turn around and catch a glimpse of the Cadian Shadowsword "Heretic's bane" blowing a hole big enough to see through in the carapace of the second Hierophant
>The spaceport will hold, for now at least
>Rush back into my Thunderhawk with my bodyguard
>Call in air strikes along the river and north-western section of the spaceport before the Thunderhawk takes off
cont...

>>69971376
>Wings worth of aircraft have been deployed to Lutum, currently we maintain superiority over enough airspace that we can destroy the landing zones one at a time
>The Harakoni are set to take off, we'll leave a portion of the regiment to perform counter attacks on the Tyranids here though
>More pressingly: A company of happy enders and Sisters of battle have decided to just up and charge into the swamp
>In muddy terrain
>Emperor preserve me these fanatics...
>Their help is appreciated but I hope we arrive in time to bail them out
>Valkyries begin taking off from the spaceport in large numbers, soon there are over 300 of them flying alongside my Thunderhawk
>The Harakoni Colonel Killgore is playing ancient terran music over the vox, apparently this is tradition among their regiment
>We're flying relatively Low, we're taking no AA fire yet
>Reach the LZ quickly
>Front ramp of my Thunderhawk opens up, Storm troopers leap out and descend using their grav-chutes
>Harakoni war cries and "YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAW!"s echo out over the sky
>Half a minute later my Thunderhawk touches down and the remaining troops disembark
>Explosives are being chucked at the smaller hives set up around the landing zone, Lasweapons are blazing and close air support is lighting up the swamp
>The swamp is noticeably drained
>The sisters nearby look surprised, the company of happy enders look relieved and I myself am infinitely peeved
>March up to the sister of battle leading this attack
>"Why in the thrice-damned warp are you here and not protecting the Cathedral in Grox-"
>Before I can continue, notice something thundering out of the woods towards us
>"DIMACHAERON!"
>Leap forward and push the both of us out of the way as it thunders past
>Stand and unsling my bolter
>Unload Hellfire and Kraken rounds into it as it turns around
>The sisters open fire shortly after, leaving the Dimachaeron a sludge-like mess on the ground
>Feel something smattering against my helmet
>Look up
>Rain

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>>69971423
>Be me
>Major of the IXth "Burning Truth" Brandstifter Squadron of the Tzeentchian luftwaffe, Heinrich "Estuans vindictam ego retribuam" Harris
>As the rain begins to fall upon the planet, I cannot help but chuckle
>Moonsoon's magics will serve der warp-fuhrer excellently in weakening all who have struck down his plans and laid his followers low
>There will no more wedgies! No more stolen essensgeld!
>My chuckling turns into outright maniacal laughter as the master's servants open warp portals throughout their hidden bases within the swamps, allowing legions of flamers and horrors to rush forth, led by the master's eternal servant Im'afuc'kin Ner'dvir'jin
>With a crackle, my own portal opens and thus, my squadron of warp-powered lancaster bombers enters the materium!
>Those loyalist fools may think that such tech will fall before their guns, but the master's magics will shield us! Or hide us, Lord Tzeentch wasn't very specific there.
>Either way, they cannot stop the torrent of fire that approaches! Because Tzeentchian warp-tech is the immaterium's finest!
>mfw my squadron of sorcerers can "warm up" with the tyranid scum beneath us as our attack begins

bump

>Be captain Antonius of the 1st Damnatus air superiority regiment
>Finally reinforcement have arrived
>Gorgoyles tried to eat my thunderbolt
>Pushed them back by shoting at them
>I have a hole in my reservoir and lost the winglet
>And I can't drop bombs anymore the system was chewed
>This is actually terrifying considerring that I carry a nuclear missile
>Plus the machine spirit doesn't seems good
>Shot a harpy
>Not enough fuel to go back anywere and the machine spirit wants to go down in a grande finale
>What do?
>Notice a big flying figure flying towards the islands followed by many smaller ones
>This might do it

So yeah this is one of the last post of Antonius he is not really fun to write anymore and doesn't add much to the story

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>Be me, Admiral Gregorius Markus Agrippa Falkar
>Wipe some nervous sweat off my brow as I look at the battlefield
>Void battle looked a bit grim for a moment, but now it's steadily going in our favour
>The hordes upon hordes of enemy attack crafts have been hemmed by the sheer amount of flak fire coming from our gunline
>A spear tip of Razorfiends, Void Prowlers and Krakens slammed into the middle of the eastern flank, causing great casualties among the battlegroups of Admirals Majewski and Kastner
>Thanks to some quick thinking by a few Dominators, Armageddons, the Hresvelgr and a boatload of escorts we managed to counter the push and mostly force the Tyranids back, though a fight still rages on there with us being set to win
>I may have chosen a bad field of battle though, it seems the debris here might cause casualties on their own
>Which, since we're the ones holding here, might come to our advantage later
>The Hive ship has already tanked a shot from my nova cannon, part of it is torn up but the sheer size of it allowed it to keep floating on
>Their Hive ship is now bristling with Stalker Drones, forming a thick ablative armour across the front and sides of it
>Their fleet seems to have gathered around it in a wedge-esque formation
>If only I had a vortex shell right about now...
>Though that wouldn't matter too much
>If the area between the two fleets wasn't covered in the debris of destroyed fleets before, it sure is now
>Trying to cross it or shoot through it is going to require some finesse, it won't be impossible, just difficult
>I reckon this battle will go on for some time now because of it
>The vice admirals are asking me if they are to charge yet, told them to hold the line
>I believe the Rogue Trader has joined the battle on the eastern flank
>Once they're in more effective range, we'll see whose fleet is mightiest
>But for now, there's only really one thing to do
>Sip champagne and wait to see if we'll die today or not
>Such is life in the fleet

>>69974295
To clarify what the map markers mean:

Purple are 'nids
Grey blobs are debris
Red are the Imperials

The thicker the line, the greater the troop concentration. Single dots represent battlecruisers/cruisers/light cruiser etc. and their escorts, the escorts are, for the most part, not shown, excluding the drones around the hive ship. Since they're in a 3D space the map can be a little misleading but they're in an environment where they're basically like this, all the debris aren't shown because then there'd be nothing but grey to look at.

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>Be Tolria, self-proclaimed Exarch of Alaitoc
>They're out there, I know it
>To the north, they are definitely lurking somewhere in the rainbands
>I can hear the screeches carrying on the same wind that drives the fat raindrops into our faces
>Every so often a flash from the fleet battle or glow of debris undergoing atmospheric entry cuts through the gloom
>The distant boom of the guns is very reminiscent of the battle on the island in the spring
>Out there in the watery haze to the north, a flash of movement
>Slowly the silhouettes of Tyranid bioforms begin to take shape in the rain
>While waiting for them to close to weapons range I down several with the Long Rifle
>The Imperial troops mixed in with out forces start to panic slightly
>I forget humans can't separate war from person as easily as we can
>"Don't let them get within melee range!"
>"And remember - SHOOT THE BIG ONES!"
>"ON MY MARK - AIM - FIRE"
>Not that there's much pointin aiming in such a target rich environment, but it's good practice
>The red bursts of lasfire and muffled clatter of shuriken weaponry cuts through the haze and noise
>Suddenly there's a brilliant white flash and thunderous explosion as the head of a rearing Carnifex disappears in a cloud of burning giblets
>Soon after another close lightning strike blasts a crater in the back of a second Carnifex
>It appears the larger Tyranid creatures are tall enough to act as highly effective lightning rods, and this storm is shaping up to be a vicious one
>Never thought any of us would be praising a summer storm for its contribution
>I'm not idle with the rifle either, but keep the Lance within reach in case I need to step up at close range
>Staying to fight this fight had better be damn well worth it for us
>Kerala sends a transmission from the island, something about there being attacking Tyranid flying creatures
>Hopefully the AA forts off the coast can deal with them, Stonehenge is too valuable to us all to lose

>Be Archbishop of the Church Of The Emperor's Holy Gifts
>be still battling the nids
>hear some commotion to my right
>one of the Salamanders has decapitated one of the xenos
>realize it was going straight for me
>if it wasnt for him, i could be dead
>truly the emperor is looking out for me
>he proceeds to tell me to be more careful
>notetaken.purityseal
>i reply, as i squash another nid with me Thunder Mallet
Ah thank you my lord. I shall watch my flanks more diligently.
>as i finish i feel a rain drop land upon my head.
>i look up
>than another, and other.
>3 seconds latter it is a relentless cascade of rain
>monsoons have begun
>realize that the battlefield is going to be come a pit of mud in about 30 seconds
>well shit, i hate this time of year

>>69975891
>Be me
>Head Field Chirurgeon Octavius Graves
>Need to take a break
>Hands are starting to slip on my tools there is soo much blood on them
>More troops are coming in
>Can see the battle in the far off distance
>Feel rain on my head
>It’s fucking rain
>And then it starts pouring rain
>Realize how much trouble we had trying to se up they vox tent
>Rush in and help them set up a umbrella to keep the vox safe
>The umbrella is a bit bloody, thanks to me
>But the vox is safe
>Wash my hands off and go back to administering medicine
>whycantwehavegoodweatheronthisemperorforsakenplanet?.vox

>be me
>sneakyboi little finger
>its rainin now
>not a problem
>da paint dried already
>keep krumpin bugs with me shoota gun
>shoot off another morta
>da boss dont like da rain it seems
>she curses da weather and pull out her shoota
>at least she got more range now
>hear me coffee pot start squealing
>drink me some coffee and try to kill a nid one handed
>trickshoot.cunninandbrutal
>got one in da eye
>tongueclick.noice
>laugh quietly at me skill
>love me job

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>Be Sister Superior Bios
>We may have bitten off more than we can chew
>It's a confused melee of Guard, Sisters, Exodites and Tyranids in the trees
>Tyranid parts are flying everywhere, trees are exploding and fire is being shot
>There's even a hillbilly shooting things with a Heavy Stubber
>The swamp water looks almost inviting to wash off the 'nid viscera
>Eventually the Inquisitor's force turns up and clears a temporary break in the chaos
>He's pissed I'm not at the cathedral
>Did nobody tell you what our orders were?
>We were to hunt down Tyranid forces before they had a chance to get out of hand
>Obviously this did not go as planned
>With all these branches of the Imperium here it was only a matter of time until some wires got crossed in the jurisdiction friction
>Trying to coordinate all these forces is like playing Yndonesian Whispers with orders
>in short, we're supposed to be here
>But THAT DAEMON is not!
>It's gibbed fairly quickly, but its presence is EXTREMELY worrying
>There must be Warp activity nearby, which should be impossible with the Hive Mind presence
>Rain starts to lash the swamp and a tall tree explodes in wooden shrapnel as it is struck by lightning
>The water level slowly starts to rise as bombs fall with the rain
>Wait a minute, I don't think they are our bombs
>I think a tactical withdrawl is in order
>It would be better for us to give our lives for the Emperor not in vain

>>69978696
>be me
>Guardsman Lew
>Diplomatic Liaison to the 531st Cadian Regiment and the local Chapter of the Sisters of Battle
>Bios orders a tactical withdrawal
>I’m not apposed to that
>Wet Tyranids are harder to burn
>Had to pull out my stub gun to kill some more troublesome bugs
>Hear another screech of a mortar
>Is there a artillery division following us around now?
>Who are these people helping us out?
>Why do I smell recaf?
>Is there a roasters out here?
>Well it’s probably on fire now

>>69976335
>Be Trooper Monica Jernwick, Acting Vox Officer, 78th Risian Light Infantry
>The battle is so far going...less than ideal
>The Nids seem content to throw endless waves of Gaunts at our firing lines for now, but the occasional Warrior, Carnifex, or other large biomorph manages to break through our defenses, including a Hierophant that was only taken out with several danger close artillery strikes
>Despite the best efforts of our aircraft, a large mass of airborne Nids have been strafing our lines with near impunity, in particular, the large winged creatures known as Harpies are absolute terrors
>My ears are still ringing from the shrieking noise they make, the spore mines they drop took out the squad closest to my tent, and one of the tentacle seedpod things they shoot ripped the comms tent to shreds, not to mention crushed Jo's torso
>The smaller ones known as Gargoyles are nearly as dangerous, apparently they belong to a sub variant that specializes in shooting 8 foot long spikes straight down from up high, and now there are impaled corpses everywhere, including quite a few that are still standing, as the spikes have punched straight through them and into the ground
>Naturally the minute the tent is collapsed by the tentacle pod, the rain goes from moderate to almost impossibly heavy, I vaguely remember in our briefing that sometimes large scale landings from orbit can mess up weather patterns
>Lovely, the last thing this place needs is even more rain
>Graves comes over with an umbrella for the vox-caster, but the force of the downpour causes it to buckle and collapse less than a minute after he leaves
>Decide instead to flip the table-crate on its side, and crawl inside with the vox, it is a tight fit, but has the advantage of being both dry, and far less exposed then standing out in the open
>The supply tent in front of me gets hit by lightning, then strafed by a volley of spikes from one of the flying creatures
>Yep, the crate seems like a good idea

>>69938379
>>69948686
>>69971672
>>69978696
>Be Elena Tywick, Chaos Cultist
>After several test runs we have finally started opening portals from Liveria to other locations on a large scale
>The force I am assigned to ends up in the swamp northwest of Groxbridge, where we are to join forces with the hidden cults in the area before taking out the spaceport
>My comrades are an unusual mix of individuals, but all are dedicated to the Gods of Chaos, whether they be insurgent, inbred swamp man, mutated Tau, or newly arrived offworlder, not to mention the daemonettes, horrors, flamers and other warp beings
>It is not long before we are fighting both the Tyranids and the Guardsmen
>Find myself fighting alongside several mutated Tau, a small, cleft-lipped, bug-eyed swamp man named Scruffles, and most significantly, a wickedly powerful daemonhost called Fleshfire
>Wading through waist high flood water while Tyranids pop out from behind bulrushes, trees, and curtains of heavy rain is risky, but the Tau Pulse Blaster I looted kills anything I point it at, and Fleshfire seems to sense opponents no matter where they hide, killing most with well placed bolts of warp energy
>Scruffles has his uses to, his strange magic allows him to control the swamp wildlife with his thoughts, using them to attack the small aquatic Ripper variants that have been so deadly to our forces
>And it is not just Tyranids and Guardsmen out here either, Fleshfire has drained the souls of two Exodite ambushers so far, and even reduced a whole squad of Sisters of Battle into mewling spawn
>And Fleshfire's power is only a fraction of some of the other warp entities in the swamp with us today
>Needless to say, before long we have driven both the Tyranids and the Imperials away from our initial beachhead, and forced both towards the east, where they will now have to navigate the most treacherous parts of swamp while under heavy bombardment from our bomber squadrons
>For the Glory of the Dark Gods!!!

bump

Clicky here, just letting edric-annon know what happened so far, go here
>>69965388

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>>69974865
>Be Eldar Guardian Buni, Craftworld An-Arkayd
>Get sent to some worthless mon keigh planet whose name literally translates to "damned mud pit" or something like that
>Apparently as part of their effort to remind other craftworlds we exist, the Autarch's are sending token forces to help with various multi-craftworld initiatives
>In this case a very token force since I was sent here four days ago with two kinsmen to announce the arrival of a larger strike force that never showed up
>With Jeev the Farseer and Veki the Ranger finding roles elsewhere on the battlefield, I got sent to front lines to hang out with some other sacrificial meat shields from various craftworlds, not to mention a bunch of smelly, disgusting mon-keigh soldiers
>I mean seriously, I am one of my craftworld's best poets, creator of "Ode to Fluffy the Gyrinx" and "Sunset Gardeners of Moz", why am I standing around in a glorified bodysuit with a puny short ranged weapon waiting to get eaten!
>Even the primitive mon-keigh laser weapons have further range!
>Also my feet hurt
>And the mon-keigh beside me smells like animal semen
>By the time the massive wave of Tyranids reaches effective firing range of my shuriken catapult it is obvious that this section of the line isn't going to hold
>Many of the mon-keigh soldiers flee back towards the city, and even the other Aelderi discretely redeploy themselves to the better fortified lines to our left and right
>Realize I am the only Aeldari left in the midsection of the collapsing battle line
>Good thing I can run twice as fast as a mon-keigh
>Bye everyone!
>A couple minutes later, manage to take shelter in some unbelievably foul smelling, over flowing latrines
>Hopefully the smell will throw off the Tyranids
>Feel extremely powerful psychic disturbance nearby
>Poke head outside, see wave after wave of daemons and mutants appear out of thin air, including many sworn to She-Who-Thirsts
>Could this day get any worse?

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>>69971423
>>69978696
>>69980346
>Be Captain Priscilla Von Hansburg, 4th Baroness of Bluven, 1st Happy Ending Regiment
>As the Sisters push deeper into the swamps, my company and other support formations very grudgingly follow them
>Predictably it is not long before we are overwhelmed by even more Nids
>To make matters worse, a Carnifex badly damages one of the Crassus, rendering it immobile, while a second gets overturned by a Hierophant
>Luckily the Harakoni show up around then and temporarily drive off the Nids
>Unfortunately the brief moment of relative safety doesn't last...
>A bomb dropped from above (friendly fire?) badly damages my own Crassus, the rain starts falling at an impossible rate, the Sisters order a withdrawal (what!?!), Niki voxs me that there isn't enough space left in the remaining transports for everyone, but accidentally uses the open vox frequency (you are so fucking dead Niki!), a mad scramble ensures as everyone on a damaged transport tries to get to a working one (including me), the water is now waist high (I hate getting wet), and full of eel-like aquatic Rippers (shitshitshit), a Greater Daemon of Slaanesh cuts the Crassus I was trying to climb into in HALF(WHY ARE DAEMONS HERE!? WHY?), Manage to climb into a Crassus, the guy right behind me gets his genitals bitten off by an aquatic Ripper as we pull him in (is there a bionic replacement for that?), visibility is near zero due to the rain, I can't even see outside the Crassus, comms are filled with panicked gibberish, even the Sisters and the Harakoni seem confused (not good), also the 12th Risian (AKA the guys guarding our route back to dry land) may have been wiped out (really not good), order the driver to get us out of here once it becomes clear no one else is trying to get into the tank, get about 30 feet before the Crassus comes to a jarring halt (REALLY NOT GOOD!!!) Look outside the viewport to see the slender leg of the Greater Daemon
>SSHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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>>69982338
>Be me
>Commissar Dell Lugermorph
>Worst case scenario is vastly approaching
>This damn rain is making it hard for the tanks to move, and now there is just heresy vanilla edition
>Hear an order to withdraw from the area
>Also the sisters withdraw
>Very unlike them
>Then a giant ass Greater Daemon of the purple rape monster shows up
>thisisworstcasesinerio.vox
>Wait a minute
>Start digging around my coat and the Baneblade
>whereisitwhereisit.panic
>AHAH!
>Right under my seat
>A small box lined with purity seals and a small clasp
>Open the box
>Pic related
>A Holy Orb of Antioch
>I might have “Found” it on a Black Templar’s corpse in my first campaign, but he wasn’t using it, and I need it now
>Get on the Vox
EVERYONE GET DOWN AND COVER YOUR EARS!!!!!
>The daemon is fighting with some foul xenos, making it a distracted target
>perfect.blam
>Steady my aim
>Adjust for distance
>Make a quick prayer to the Emperor that all that shot-put training in scholla didn’t go to waste
>Throw it to kill as many xenos and heretics as possible, without killing anyone in the Crassus
>Close the Baneblade hatch and watch if fly perfectly
>hallelujah.massiveboom
>The daemon screams in agony and staggers into the swamp
>Signal for our withdrawal
GO GO GOOOOO!!!!

>>69965388
>Be inquisitor Leonpines Edric of the ordo Xenos
>What the hell just happened
>We car crashed and those things pointed gun at me and the driver
>Then the kid who lost his goggles made one explode leaving me the time and the liberty to shot the rest of them
>It is clear now that "Clinky" has lightning eye so yeah finding his goggles would be a good idea
>They were in the wreckage of the car
>Give them back
>We can't use the car anymore it's on the back
>Call the corvus Blackstar
>It will be safer
>A few minutes later the appears take us and fly off to the HQ
>Put my power armor on as soon as were back
>Give the kid a lasgun and tell him to point the big bugs
>Remenber what a librarian once told me
Listen only to the most humane shiny and golden voice in your head, in other terms don't listen to any of the voices
>Bio-Titans are signaled on the radio
>This a perfect target for us!
>Gentlemen we are going hunting bugs!

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>>69981608
>Be me
>Loyal servant of Grandfather Nurgle, Steven Armrot
>Currently stuck sitting in the little chaos lord's room babysitting some of grandaddy's nurgling children
>Pops wanted us to stick around on the planet once we got done spreading his loving embrace
>Something about there being a chance for "the greatest wrestling move I will ever pull off"
>Not completely sure what he meant by that, but I won't question it
>As I stop reading the local newspaper (now stained yellow from piss and vomit) I hear a lot of scared yelps and screams
>One of the nurglings pops his head over the stall to check
>Apparently the tyranids are invading, and some pansy-ass eldar is hiding in here
>"Isha's blessing, what is that smeeeell?"
>mfw
>Just the smell of Isha's betrothed, Candy-ass
>However, the big bad bugs arriving means plenty of fun for me
>Kick the stall door to open it, it goes flying off the hinges into one of the mud-stained mirrors in front of it
>Grab another shitgar and light it up as I stand out and prepare to get going
>The eldar is sitting and shivering in the corner when they see me
>Fairly certain they've pissed themself, but with all the wonderful smells in here I can't tell
>One of the nurglings goes for Isha's child, I grab him by the neck as we leave to start fighting the tyranids
>I wonder if they can be embraced by granpappy's love?
>The latrines are in the middle of some destroyed streets, a way off from the main city
>The bugs have already made it pretty close
>Come and get it you overgrown ants!
>mfw the various children of granpappy start popping out of the dirt and their hiding spots in the buildings to help
>mfw the plague marines follow me out from being done smearing the walls of the latrines with shit
>DON'T FUCK WITH THIS CHAOS LORD!

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>Be me, Imperial fists Lieutenant Gereon Paulicus
>The Tyranids have begun their assault from the south and from the north simultaneously
>The southern front appears to be suffering from the greater of the two attacks, however it is likely to hold as the Arch-bishop himself is there
>It appears a section of the North-Western line requires reinforcing, then
>Immediately rush into one of our Thunderhawks with my squad of Assault marines and a squad of tactical marines
>It takes off with a jolt, flying low as to avoid AA fire and the air battle above
>Thunderhawk opens up on the tyranids rushing through the gap in the line before landing and allowing me and my brothers to take point
>Some platoon-sized units holding, seems to be mostly conscripted criminals and Arbites
>Nearby Guardsman attempting to retreat, the Commissar here must be dead
>Rush up to the unit of guardsman and into the middle of them using my jump pack
>Most of the retreating guardsmen stop
>"What kind of foolish treachery is this? If you run now you will die a more painful death later, follow me and you may yet live!"
>The guardsmen look stunned, the ones running away are now only about 2 platoons worth of soldiers
>Watch as five Chimeras lead by a Chimedon painted in steel legion colours swing around a corner and begin blazing down the street
>The previously retreating guardsmen are forced to turn around
>Raise my power fist and point at the gap in the line with my combi-plasma
>"WITH ME GUARDSMEN, FOR THE IMMORTAL EMPEROR OF MANKIND!"
>The previously fear-stricken guardsmen turn around and charge back down the street, lasguns blazing as shouts of "FOR THE IMPERIUM OF MAN!" ring out
>The transports slow down behind the guardsmen and provide covering fire for them
>Soon, the troops holding off the forces along the wall are joined by a thousand-odd strong wall of screaming guardsmen
>As Major Ritter disembarks with his legionaries, I see something looming in the distance
>A bio-titan

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>>69985920
>Be me
>Loyal servant of Grandfather Nurgle, Steven Armrot
>Currently busy throwing these pansy-ass bugs around like a game of catch
>Unfortunately these bugs don't respond to granpappy's blessing
>Make up for it by punching little termagants off their feet at fellow plague marines, who then proceed to kick them off into the distance with ease
>Nurglings make quick work of these same little bug freaks by tripping them up and then dropping onto their heads to crush them like walnuts
>ProudUncleMoment.jpg
>That's when the Hormagaunts arrive, talons and all
>Grab the first one to charge me by a talon, swing him around and send the little bug asshole flying off
>Straight into the face of an arriving Hierophant bio-titan
>Smile as I realize what granpappy was getting at with his line about wrestling
>Prepare your sorry ass you bug fuck!
>Just like my days playing charge-ball with the fellas in the deathguard, barrel forward through the tyranid lines like a bowling ball
>Nids get crunched and splattered under the unstoppable charge of my thundering feet as more plague marines rush behind me to hold the nids off with bolter fire
>The hierophant is firing it's large bio-cannons at myself and the marines as we charge
>Watch as one of the guys gets his face melted off by acid
>mfw
>Shit, hope pops keeps you safe in his garden son
>Get the others to start chanting to Nurgle as I speed up my approach, letting the hierophant continually miss me and send acid into the wave upon wave of nids
>Get close enough that I can make a move, then it's giant tail gets sent forward
>Just barely manage to dodge it and get close to this big sonofabitch's head
>Launch an uppercut straight into the big nid's jaw, letting me get to it's weak underbelly
Cont...

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>>69986199
>Tiny little blades on the bottom start shooting down to try and stab me, which bounce off harmlessly
>This thing even starts releasing some kind of poison gas
>Breath in deep since pop's garden has way worse in it
>GRANPAPPY'S BLESSINGS NID SCUM
>Unleash another punch straight at it's underside, sending the nid stumbling slightly, face first
>As it attempts to steady itself, I put my back to the thing's underbelly, then get a good grasp around it
>Throw all my weight behind me as I fall backwards, feeling the nid start to fall on it's face
>A loud CRUNCH can be heard as the nid's face lands in the mud, with the weight of it's entire body and mine acting like a gigantic crushing mechanism
>Get back up onto my feet and light up another shitgar as the gigantic nid's body twitches ever so slightly in it's muddy grave
>mfw I start seeing the army of the dead from the sewers pull themselves up and out of the dirt, dragging little nids under to rip their limbs off

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>Be me, Lord Inquisitor Greger von Rosen
>These sisters have clearly never fought Tyranids before, they immediately started blathering on about a Daemon as soon as the Dimachaeron was killed
>I don't bother with correcting them because as soon as I'm about to a fucking Keeper of Secrets emerges from the ground and charges at a nearby Hierophant
>Seems our hit and run attack on this place so far has been a success, we've just got to stay for a little longer to cripple the final hive here
>Get on the vox, order everyone to begin wrapping up here and covering the Happy enders and sisters as they retreat
>Tell the sisters they're getting new orders, to get the fuck out of dodge
>Avengers and Sky Talons swoop down and empty their remaining missiles and ammo into the big hive allowing for most of the Tyranids here to be produced
>Valkyries clearing out smaller pickup zones to get their squadrons into
>Killgore issues a general retreat, we've practically crippled this landing zone now
>Hopefully the company of Happy Enders brought some Chimeras, they'll be able to cross this terrain for certain thanks to their amphibious capabilities
>Notice a fucking huge blast of bright light near the Happy enders followed by the distorted screaming of a Hierophant and a Keeper of Secrets
>Vortex grenades, not even once
>Decide not to look at it, instead rush inside my Thunderhawk with my bodyguard
>As the Harakoni begin flying off, I notice the odd amount of heretics here
>And none of them happen to be nurglings either
>Lean into the vox as the Harakoni and my Storm troopers take off
>Order nerve gas and firebombs be deployed to cover our retreat
>It won't stop the Tyranids, but it sure as fuck will stop daemons and cultists
>TheGenevaConventionDoesntApplyToHereticsAndXenos.inquisitorsblessing
>Fly back to Groxbridge Spaceport to resupply and wipe out some of the forces attacking
>If they didn't know it before, today the bugs will learn the true meaning of high speed, low drag

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>Be Rogue Trader Stannim Lherzon
>The solid firing walls and spear formations have devolved into a chaotic melee
>When ships have turning circles of hundreds of miles, move at orbital speeds and weigh millions of tonnes, that's not ideal
>Collisions take out nearly as many ships on both sides as ship-to-ship combat does
>Of course the slippery bugs with Hive Mind micromanagement are able to avoid the worst crashes
>The battle has dragged on and moved into the shadow of the planet, with the total darkness making coordination even more difficult
>The upside is that several large Tyranid vessels did not notice Pol sweeping along its low orbit towards them until far too late
>The macrocannon barrels are glowing red-hot from the constant firing and the lance risks overheating with every shot
>Munitions of macro rounds and missiles are starting to run low as well
>Thankfully my crew seems to have lost little of their gunnery edge over the last most of a year
>Temporarily pull back to the rear lines to let the weapons cool and resupply munitions
>Even better, these supplies are on the Navy's dime and not mine
>Nothing to do now but watch until the Navy goons are finished and the guns are cool
>Several Tyranid vessels break free of the mess on the eastern flank and dive towards the planet
>As if they didn't already have their hands full of bugs down there
>Suppose I should take a qui--
>"UNAUTHORISED SHUTTLE LAUNCH IN PROGRESS"
>.....what?
>Bring up the status of the shuttle bay
>That's my nearly new, legitimately acquired shuttle!
>The shuttle rockets out of the bay towards the planet before being clipped by a stray macro round and starts to dive rather fast
The craft starts glowing as it hits the atmosphere far too fast while shedding a cloud of atmosphere and debris behind it
>Seems like whoever stole it won't get away with it, though Danarius is still hopping mad at the loss of his ride
>But unfortunately it looks like I'm going to have to "obtain" another shuttle

Bump

>>69984444
>be me
>Clicky the Psyker
>get taken to the headquarters that miss Edric works at
>get handed a lasgun after miss Edric gets some armor on
>tells me to use it on bugs
>aka tyranids
>and she wants me to follow her
>what?
>she think i have some potential to help the inquisition or something
>why not?
>if i am gonna die, at least it isnt on that horrible hive city
>as soon as we step outside, there is practically a monsoon outside
>starting to hate this place
>i want my safety box

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>HEEEELLLLOOOO AGAIN GROXBRIDGE!
>And welcome back ladies, gentlemen and xenos!
>We are continuing our reports on the ongoing siege
>SkyEye has been forced to break off from the inclement weather, but before then we made some more observations
>Two more major Nid landings have been spotted to the south and east of the city
>I'm pretty sure the very last thing we need right now is moe Nids
>We don't know what they're doing, or what the one near Lake Amble is plotting
>What we have been able to see is that the force near Mt. Rhyo is advancing to the north and the force on the other side of the mountains is heading towards Liveria
>What's left of Liveria, that is
>We can't directly intervene from here and it's too dangerous for our people, but we can use our skycams to keep an eye on battles in the city
>Good job to everyone so far and I never thought I'd be saying this, and it might be hazarous at any other time, even the Eldar
>We even recorded some brilliant clips of an Astartes cleaving a Haruspex in half, a Carnifex being fried by a lightning bolt and a civilian hillbilly pulling a Marbo with a Heavy Stubber
>It's up on our voxnet site, and you might want to watch it while the power is still on
>We installed a backup generator after last time, so we'll be on the air all through
>Our own laser cannon can't fire into orbit thanks to all the Imperial ships in the way an beam diffusion, but it has been downing flying bugs all day
>As for the music, we've got the Archbishop's request for a hymn
>Unfortunately that's not really our schtick since our affiliate station GPRN handled most of that
>We do have a few classics in the archives though, and we hope this might suffice
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy6AOGRsR80

bump

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>>69984444
Checked

>>69978696
>>69980346
>>69982338
>>69986895
>Be me
>Major of the IXth "Burning Truth" Brandstifter Squadron of the Tzeentchian luftwaffe, Heinrich "Estuans vindictam ego retribuam" Harris
>This bombing run is going ausgezeichnet!
>The tyranid presence in the swamps has been crippled by the raging fires of the incendiary bombs and the flamers, with the loyalists running scared in the face of our superior Tzeentchian might
>On top of that, the forces from Liveria have swarmed here en masse to assist in the revenge attack
>However, the loyalists are not without guile in their retreat, as they drop gas bombs onto our forces
>The opportunity this presents is simply... wunderbar!
>Order all the luftwaffe to drop as much incendiary ordinance as possible onto gassed areas
>Send a warning down to the cultists through sorcerous messages, they quickly flee the gassed areas
>Just as planned, once the bombs start landing they erupt in a magnificient fireball that scorches the swamp, but leaves many of the master's daemons unscathed
>Thanks to the pre-emptive messages most cultists escaped the blast, those don't are fools, and thus a worthy sacrifice
>And now, das Hauptereignis!
>With the swamp now erupting in the glorious cleansing flames of Lord Tzeentch, der luftwaffe moves on towards Groxbridge in force, the daemonic horde charging to meet the remaining tyranids still charging from out of the swamps
>As the force approaches, stray fire from the fleeing loyalist troops heads our way
>Most rounds don't connect, but Moonsoon's fighter plane takes a significant amount of fire
>The sorcery of Lord Tzeentch is powerful, but not invincible, and so whilst some bullets are deflected, many fly past the magical seals and into his Luftfahrzeug
>The wing of the small flugzeug falls off and begins to burn up
Cont...

>>69992539
>With that, Moonsoon deliberately drives his plane down towards the ground, straight at the Tyranids below
>I watch, amazed, as he leaps from the burning fighter just before it crashes, landing on the heads of one of the larger bugs, proceeded to hop over their heads back towards the daemon lines
>Leaps off the head of a tiny termagaunt tyranid, landing just in front of the cultists with practiced grace
>Smiles as he begins his sorcerous rituals and starts using the winds to sweep the smaller tyranids about like debris
>Well, that was fun to watch, but the battle must continue!
>Those loyalist fools kicked me down when I stayed true to their cause, and yet they claim to be the good of this galaxy?
>Der Mensch ist böse!
>Pull out one of my favourite little ditties from my extended stay within the warp and get it playing from the speakers mounted on the undersides of my lancaster bomber
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhmlVvTvo0A
>Soon all will taste the flame of der Tzeentch-gesegnet Übermensch!

I hope what im about to post does not derail the thread

>be Archbishop of The Church Of The Emperor's Holy Gifts
>be still fighting the fucking nids
>hear over the vox that there is a Bio-Titan up north
>given how everyone is freaking out, it must be pretty big
>notgood.vox
>then I see something
>it a massive fucking tyranid approaching my section of the line
>a fucking Hive Tyrant, as the Guardsmen call it
>WTF
>the fucking thing charges the line
>ohholyemperorpleaseno.vox
>its going straight for me
>shit
>I take a wack at it with me Thunder Mallet
>but as I do, it lashes out with one of its claws
>I fail to dodge it, and I'm impaled on it
>I fall to my knees
>I feel weak and my vision goes black

Cont.

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>>69992921

>after my vision fades to black I see a golden light
>its like the light one would see at the end of a tunnel
>then it rapidly begins to grows closer and brighter until I'm completely enveloped it the light its self
>then I see him...
>it's the God Emperor
>he smiles at me and holds out his arms
>he then speaks
You have done well my boy, but your work is not done
>I feel my strength and then some returning to me
>I feel stronger than I ever had before
>the light emanating from the emperor begins to glow brighter and brighter till its blinding.
>I close my eyes
>As I reopen them, I find my self at the battle field once more
>I look up and see the Hive Tyrant down on the ground, screeching and writhing in pain
>I then look down at a puddle and see my own reflection
>I'm fucking glowing! My power armor has turned gold, my Thunder Mallet is now engulfed in holy fire, I have a bright halo, and now I have wings.
>imalivingsaintnow.purityseal
>I then take the initiative and finish the Hive Tyrant with a devastating blow
>from there I begin to slaughter the xenos with unimaginable power
>and my Holy Militia begins to fight with increased vigor

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>>69993395
>mfw a living saint is on the field

bump

Archbishop here
>I ruined the thread didn't it :(

>>69979819
>Be me
>Head Field Chirurgeon Octavius Graves
>Flying Tyranids are trying to strafe us to death
>Nearly get hit with one off the spikes
>But the spike kills my current patient
>thattearsit.vox
>Grab my shotgun and armor
>Get a few guardsman who have recovered enough to shoot to join me
>Ducking in and out of cover we start plinking away at them
>duckhunt.vox
>Once we thinned the skies a bit, run back to Jernwick and ask if she can radio in some air support
>She says that she is trying
>Well that’s all we can ask for right?
>Overhear something about Commissar Lugermorph using an orb of Antioch
>How in the name of the Emperor did he get one of those?

>>69994868
Nah, I think people are a bit busy.

bump

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>Be Sister Superior Bios
>The battered Imperial forces lead a stern chase back to the spaceport
>The Tyranids in the swamp are toast, but now it's a roiling mass of daemons and heretics
>They shouldn't even be here, given how the Shadow in the Warp works
>The gates of the great defensive emplacements around the spaceport slam shut behind us as the Cadians manning them fill the pursuing forces with lasfire
>The spaceport isn't a zone with guardsmen, it's a zone OF guardsmen
>They should be able to hold fast just fine for now
>As the downcast, bruised soldiers limp out of the tunnel into the city, there's a light off to the south
>A bright, golden light that's definitely not lightning
>Talk about light at the end of the tunnel
>The light keeps getting brighter, and soon the penny drops
>We can all feel the presence, the divine power of the God-Emperor burning away the rain and misery
>From the battle-hardened veteran Sister to the rookie Guardsman, all drop to their knees in prayer in the street
>The surviving xenos (shepherded away from us by the Guard) seem confused, but at least try and look respectful (not doing that would have been very hazardous to their health)
>For a moment, the rain and battle are forgotten, and every man and woman basks in the glory of the Emperor
>In our darkest hour, the Emperor sent us light
>As we suffered from our foes
>Now, we must rejoin the fight
>To spread the glory that he chose
>From the shining palaces to the lowly hives
>Ours is one line in a great story
>All are willing to lay down their lives
>Now we must fight, fight for His glory!
>All with me now!
>FOR THE EMPEROR! FOR THE EMPEROR! FOR THE EMPEROOOOOR!
>We shall head south to the support of the defenses, with renewed and amplified vigor
>We shall not rest until the enemy has been scoured, burned and, if needs be, blasted from the face of the world they have so usurped

>69994868
Activity is always slower on weekdays, the most popular times seem to be late evening USA time

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>>69959300
>>69990194
>Be Sybarite Trys'ta, Kabal of the Frozen Heart
>Finally make it back to our kick-ass Webway Stronghold, The Frozen Heart, after delivering Tolria's message to Wyen'dala
>Spend next couple of hours ordering slaves around my lavish new quarters in order to set up for the BEST PARTY EVER!!!
>We got cages full of slaves and vicious creatures, an impromptu fighting ring, lots of pillows and mattresses, literal piles of toys, drugs, drinks, and food, and a couple of stripper poles
>Rumor has it that even the Archon himself may drop by briefly, which is extremely unlikely, but the fact that someone would start such a rumor does point to the awesome opulence of the party
>Get priority message from Wyen'dala
>She wants me back in real space
>FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
>Apparently if you place a really big void mine in the right spot beneath Mount Rhyo, it will trigger a pyroclastic flow that will sweep a large area clean of Tyranids
>The only problem is that the caves, tunnels, halls, and abysses beneath Mount Rhyo are home to every subterranean enemy imaginable, from low level nuisances to unkillable abominations
>Spend next several hours helping a small war band of the Kabal's greatest fighters and most resourceful allies fight their way though nurglings, gretchin, zombies, molemen, ratmen, troglodytes, albino eldar, ork kommandos, flayed ones, genestealers, feral mandrakes, tomb spyders, lictors, Men of Iron, Furries, Magma Daemons, culminating with a battle against a fire-based C'tan Shard, a Bloodthirster, and two Mawlocs, all of whom had decided to camp out in the cave where we needed to place the void mine
>Why so many mortal enemies have decided to all live in a trap filled maze in close proximity to each other is beyond me, but it is safe to say I was happy to be out of there
>As the Raider flies off back to base, Mount Rhyo explodes spectacularly, with pyroclastic flows wiping out large numbers of Tyranids to the north
>You are welcome mon-keigh

>>69983002
>>69986895
>>69992539
>>69993395
>>69996805
>Be Captain Priscilla Von Hansburg, 4th Baroness of Bluven, 1st Happy Ending Regiment
>The Greater Daemon of Slaanesh gets driven off by blinding white light (which I later find out was some sort of holy grenade thrown by Dell, but was even stranger at the time)
>With some unnecessary encouragement from Dell and the Lord Inquisitor, I order my remaining forces to fall back to the spaceport
>Although not particularly amphibious, the massive engine and heavy duty treads of the Crassus transports allow us to plow forward at a relatively high speed even when crossing over patches of water or soft mud that are many feet deep
>Unfortunately we are forced to keep pace with the Rhino mounted Sisters, whose vehicles frequently got stuck in the deeper areas of mud and water
>Nids, daemons, mutants, cultists, and other miscellaneous enemies harass our forces constantly as we travel out of the swamp, and the Chaos air force performs several strafing and bombing runs, though luckily they focus on the Sisters
>Eventually we make it back to the spaceport and from there head back through the tunnels in order to charge against one of the other Nid swarms to the south
>While we were slowly inching through the tunnels the Archbishop turned into a Living Saint and single handedly killed a Hive Tyrant, his ascension causing Divine Rays of Light to reinvigorate and renew the Faith of all who saw them
>It figures I would miss something like that

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>>69985102
>>69986244
>Be Eldar Guardian Buni, Craftworld An-Arkayd
>Hear something big moving in the bathroom stall next to the one I am hiding in
>See a nurgling poke its head over the stall and giggle at me
>Uh oh
>A massive servant of Nurgle rips the door off the stall I am hiding in and drags me outside
>I guess he didn't read the sign that said ladies washroom
>Luckily he gets distracted by a swarm of Tyranids, and I am able to escape him and his followers, but not before I get covered by foul tainted slime and muck
>Even the heavy rain does nothing to wash it off, and it looks like it is slowly corrupting my armor
>Carefully remove armor, wish I was wearing more beneath it
>Try to backtrack to the Eldar lines, but get blocked by an army of undead mon-keigh
>Try to move further east to get around them but this time I am blocked by a band of mutants, spawn, and daemonettes being led by a Noise Marine
>A bit to the south is a pack of horrors supporting a giant mutant made of many humans and tau hideously fused together
>Sneak into another building, there can't be anything in there that is worse than what is out here, right?

>Be Captain Antonius of the 1st Damnatus air superiority regiment
>My aircraft is now a torch
>The only thing that I can do do is going faster shooting and move the direction
>And the machine spirit desperatly want to end this
>The big flying thing that i'm chasing is a crone
>Great and it's flying towards Groxbridge
>And it's joining a big horde of tyrannids at the south of the city
>A big one with many spikes looking like swords notice me and start screeching
>Every flying xenos start rushing toward me
>Start flying higher at full speed
>Take the radio
To all imperial forces in the area take cover
>The radio suddenly turn silent
>Arm the last nuke and missiles left
>Start swooping at full speed
>Machine spirit understanding what am I doing make the engine start roaring even more
>At least it will be an impressive death
>Hit the ground
>Take everything around with me

So this is the death of Antonius Imperial pilot réel free to Say if his suicide worked or not