Did I just catch an AGP thread live?

YES

kept us waiting huh?

IT IS TIME. TONIGHT IS FINALLY THE NIGHT

Save Room For Shoggy!

>>66179418
Oh HELL yes! I never catch these live! I must get the popcorn!

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FINALLY
Hey Shoggy, i was the one who commissioned the Occurence Boarder

>>66179418
Yehaaaaa I made it.
It's 2 am here, but I'm ready!!

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I made it thank god

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Oh yes

And so it continues...

Onward! To glory!

I need more Shoggy. MOAR. I listen to the whole story on repeat. This is the best thing in life right now.

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YES! Let the guns sing out the praises of the All Guardsmen Party!

Good to have you back Shoggy! Hope you're doing better.

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YESSSSSSS

>>66179418
>Last thread:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/62972087/

>Sorry for being gone so long, life's been shit and I'll spare you the whining.

>To be brief, this is the beginning for the final push. I'm going to pre-emptively apologize about quality and length, I'm not going to try make it to the actual encounters tonight, just the dozen or so posts of out of combat groundwork. Nothing super interesting, just my expository rambling. Feel free to ditch.

>I won't be around tomorrow night to make it the rest of the way there, and next weekend is booked, so more blueballing, inc. Sorry.

>All that said, in 2 weeks there WILL be another posting, which should hopefully cover the rest of this little arc and get us to the final actual session of the whole campaign.

>As a final little note: I'm sorry for all the emails I haven't responded to. I've read them all, but just haven't been able to muster the mental energy for proper replies. So here's a collective (and woefully inadequate) thank you.

>>66179418
SHOGGGGGGGGGGGY
First time catching one of these. Hell yes!

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>>66179418
Glad you're back, Shoggy!

Fuck, I've been reading your stories for like 6 years now.

>>66179657
Hey man,

You don't owe us shit. If shit's been getting on you, and you don't feel like continuing, that's both entirely reasonable and entirely human.

You've already given us so much. You aren't obligated to give any more

>>66179418

goddamnit, i thought it was going to be another hour.

im so lucky i just browse /tg/ randomly, but i havent arranged my reaction folder.

>>66179657

Dude, I've been here since AGP 1 all those years ago. We've been happy to wait, because you've always made it worth our time. Not like we're paying you for this shit, you're doing it because you wanna give us storytime. So, take your time, we can fucking wait.

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SHOGGY
SHOOOOOOOGGGGYYYY SHOGGY

SHOGGY

It's fucking happening!

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>>66179418

Our former trainees had been a bit dubious, but the Interrogator had obviously been some sort of legitimate, because right after he'd arrived the Penal Legion had started being assigned work details around the nearby sections of HQ. Somehow he'd gotten their squad permanently assigned to groundskeeping duty at a complex just down the road, and had been devouring their reports on the place's layout and exterior security these last few weeks. Of course, being an Interrogator, the man had been tight-lipped about WHY they were doing all this scouting, but given that the largest building in the complex had "Mundane Evidence Storage" written on the front, it didn't take a genius to figure out he was planning some sort of heist.

Their theory had been reinforced by the contents of the Interrogator's "secret" stash under the barrack's floorboards, which they'd discovered and rifled through about ten minutes after the man had set it up, and happily cracked open to show us. Aside from the booby traps (which they declared to be decidedly sub-standard compared to what Twitch had tested them on), the stash contained an Inquisitorial Stormtrooper uniform, complete with a badge identifying the Interrogator as an Inquisitorial HQ guard, as well as some sort of weird dataslate with a badge slot, and several stacks of notes and blueprints focused on (and under) the Evidence Building. The final item, tucked in the very bottom of the stash, was a three-ring binder titled "The Loyal Servant of Mars, Mk.121-HS Etheric Variable Discipline Collar: Sacred Diagrams and Maintenance Hymnal".

Tink immediately seized the technical binder, and after a few seconds of perusing, demanded a mirror and a Type-5 Combi-Tool or the closest thing the trainees had. The ex-con raised an eyebrow at him and then shrugged, fished a large slightly-bent screwdriver, a cracked shaving mirror, and a few homemade metal shims out from under the Commissar's filthy chair, and told him to go nuts.

>>66179418
my man

>>66179418
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
SHOGGY LIVES

Are your teeth okay?

VIVA LA SHOGGY!

>>66179976
>inb4 Tink complains about how much better Tau bomb collars and rusty knives are

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>>66179976

After a few seconds of dismayed staring at the proffered tools, Tink huffed, snatched them up and went to work. The rest of us watched as the techie began scraping the blunt screwdriver around the seams of his collar in search of something or other, and alternated between cursing at his tools (as well as whichever cogboy had written the manual), and flipping between three different technical diagrams.

After nearly a minute of this, the former cleric suggested he worry about the collar later: the Interrogator had been trying for days and hadn't even managed to get his collar's cover off. Tink assured him that it was because the man was a technological idiot who didn't know a diode from a donut, whereas he could read a circuit diagram with both eyes closed and had spent the last year studying technology so advanced it made the mechanicus' simple little toys look like, um, simple little toys. The trainee nodded and agreed, and suggested that it might also have something to do with the fact that the manual was for a completely different model of collar than the ones we were all actually wearing. One without the special anti-tamper feature, or so he'd heard.

Tink paused, and then very slowly pulled his tools away from his neck and suggested that it might be better if he started with someone else's collar first. Everyone in the room took a step backwards, except for Twitch, who suggested that maybe this sort of thing should be left to the demolitions expert instead then grabbed the screwdriver and instructed Tink to hold still. Tink decided he'd rather not do this, and darted behind the comatose Commissar with Twitch close on his heels.

>>66180126
>letting tink or twitch near bomb collars
>ever

>Had to evict family, posting again

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>>66180280

>not letting tink deactivate your bomb collar

sounds like you also exclusively enjoy missonary position for purpose of procreation

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>>66180126

While Tink and Twitch bickered, the rest of us perused the Interrogator's notes on the Evidence Building, but it was all disappointingly rough. There were several different possible entry points marked on the diagrams, along with little notations about pros and cons, as well as several instances of "ask team's technical/demolitions expert about X". Given that said experts were busy playing ring-around-the-Commissar while a harried trainee tried to keep them from waking the snoring man up, we decided those could wait for later.

The one thing in the notes that really jumped out to us was a complete lack of any sort of objective marker; everything was either about getting in or getting out, but not a word on where to go afterwards. Noticing our confusion, the ex-Scribe pointed at several strings of numbers and letters jotted along the side of one of the pages. He said he was pretty sure the shorter one at the top was the storage unit ID code for Oak's case, and that the rest were the IDs for the individual pieces of evidence he wanted us to steal before his trial.The real question, according to the former PDF trooper, was just what the hell piece of evidence in Oak's case locker was so bloody damning that having it spontaneously disappear would actually improve things? Sarge, torn between relief that at least some fragment of operational security had been maintained and feeling like a hypocritical ass, informed the trainees that they really, REALLY, Didn't Need to Know.

Sarge's non-answer was accepted by the trainees with only a moderate amount of grumbling about him having become "one of them", and over the course of the evening a plan was formed.

>>66180480
i bet those other pieces of evidence are squad's animated tau vids

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>>66180480

Well, it wasn't exactly a plan per-se, more of a chore list. For starters, Sarge wanted to have a look at this Evidence building himself, so the trainees did some more fiddling on the napping Commissar's dataslate to get him included on the groundskeeping detail. While Sarge was out scouting, the rest of us were to put our heads together on the whole Collar problem.

After a lot of inane argument, the technical side was assigned to Tink AND Twitch, and the pair were given firm instructions to start by actually reading the outdated manual instead of just looking at the pictures. They were going to need some proper tools of course, which was Nubby's job, along with the Ex-Con who said he already Knew Some Guys. Finally, since nobody present was willing to let Tink or Twitch fiddle with THEIR collars, Doc was asked to go to provide a corpse or seven. The Medic had objected, loudly asking why we expected him to just have a bunch of dead bodies lying around. Tink pointed out that A: He was an Imperial Guard Medic and B: this was a Penal Legion, the only real problem would be finding ones that still had their heads. Doc grumpily ceded the point and promised to go volunteer for the Legion's medical corps.

The final chore involved the numbers from the notes, or to be more precise, the very similar ones Sarge vaguely remembered seeing on that little "Please Collect your Stuff" slip mixed in with our transfer orders… the ones that the old Commissar had walked off with. According to the trainees, they'd have been filed away in the Commissariat Command Post and none of us stood the slightest chance of getting anywhere near them. Luckily for us, we already had someone on the inside, all we had to do was figure out a way to make contact without raising any commissarial eyebrows. The trainees asked if we meant that Sister who'd come in with us, and were advised not to call Aimy that to her face if they valued their teeth.

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>>66180592

The next morning we got our first taste of life in an Inquisitorial Penal Legion. They day started off at six with a public execution, followed by a fiery sermon from the Legion's head Priest (some sort of Redemptionist Praecentor we guessed based on all his stuff about cleansing sin through glorious death). After the sermon we there was a roll call, in which a slightly disgruntled Cadet stood in for the Commissar we'd been left snoozing in his slightly damp chair, and we moved on to some good old Guard-issue PT and dummy weapon drills, and finally another public execution before lunch. Honestly it was all sort of homey; just like being back in one of the Training Regiments, if a rather disciplinarian one.

Okay, maybe "disciplinarian" is putting it a bit lightly: by lunch the death-count was up to seven, and we were pretty sure the Commissars had some sort of daily competition going on to see who could get the most whippings in. Aside from the big public executions (which the trainees said weren't actually a pre-meal tradition, that morning was just busier than usual for some reason), the leading cause of death appeared to be summary execution at the hands of the Cadets for minor, possibly imaginary, infractions. This behavior didn't really surprise us, anyone who's met a Baby Commissar could've told you there's a reason why they aren't given authority to shoot Guardsmen until a tour or two has mellowed them out a bit. It did strike us as a bit wasteful though, even if Penal Legionnaires were considered even more expendable than your typical Guardsmen (if that's even possible), one had to wonder how they were managing to keep the Legion from dwindling away to nothing before it ever saw combat. That little question was answered for us just after lunch, when an an Arbite convoy escorting four whole busses of new recruits rolled in.

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>>66179657
Hey Shoggy.
Please don't be sorry about the time it's taken/delay, it's really good to see you. please take all the time you need, your writing is worth it.
On a side note, you got me addicted to 40k so now i've gone ahead and started collecting/painting/playing.
>pic is my current army

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I doodled over a reaction image while waiting for shogposts. I'd like to say it's oc, but it's about as second hand as the rest of Nubby's stuff

>>66180838
Nubby is the only person who could out-kleptomania the blood ravens i swear to god

>>66180757
Hey that's pretty sweet! Wish my hands were steady enough for minis, the one time Failer gave me a few of his fantasy extras to practice on I wound up with more paint on my face than the actual model.

(The guy with 2 plasma pistols is gonna blow his hands off)

Nubby steals bjorn the fellhanded when

Please take care shoggy. It's good to see you're back. I hope things work out better for you in life.

>>66180752

...still safer than Inquistorial Warband service!

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>>66179657
Hey Shoggy, nothing to worry about.
A good story needs time to be written. Take it! Waiting longer for a more polished story is definitely worth it.
Thank you for countless hours of joy.
By the way, it's your fault, I got Into PnP in general and Dark Heresy especially. Thank you for that, too.
Keep up the good work!

I have a theory to share if wild paranoid speculations are allowed in this thread. In short I think I know what The Cube they recovered from the crashes necorn ship is and why Oak wanted the party to stay quiet about it.

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>>66180752

According to one of the trainees, the four busses full of new arrivals were the Arbite's weekly delivery of fresh meat. See, there were two types of Legionnaires in the camp. Unlucky mudfeet and disgraced Inquisitorial agents only made up about a quarter of the Legion, the rest consisted of the hardened dregs of the planet's criminal underworld. Unlike us Guardsmen, who accepted our sorry lot fairly easily, the assorted gangers, assassins, heretics, and occasional outright lunatic chafed a little at their new strict military lifestyle, and apparently the more organized members harbored some downright lethal bad-blood for eachother.

Anyway, as the busses unloaded, an entire platoon of Legionnaires jumped some of the new arrivals. Some of the Cadets moved in with their shock-sticks to settle things and one of them got a bit too cocky and wound up yanked into the melee, which was when their seniors stepped in and we got to see our fancy Discipline Collars in action. All at once, every collar in a large radius started beeping and almost everyone (including us) froze, but the melee's participants were a bit too wrapped in things and didn't stop until their collars went from beeping to an electrical buzzing and they all flopped over into the mud in a twitching heap.

The Old Commissar strode out of the crowd followed closely by a pair of toadies as well an unarmed Cadet we belatedly recognized as a very stiff and unhappy looking Aimy. While a few Cadets pulled their comrade out from under the pile, the Old Commissar fiddled with a fancy dataslate like the one that was kept under our Commissar's chair, and very abruptly three of the Legionaries in the pile didn't have heads. Without a second glance, the man turned on his heel and walked off again, only pausing to instruct a squad to "clean that up" and shoot an unreadable glance at Aimy when she began to lag a little behind him. The Markswoman immediately sped up and didn't so much as glance in our direction.

>>66180946
I'm interested, so please continue
>>66180910
Good to hear more people are joining in the hobby, PnP is so much fun and I'm glad you're enjoying it

>>66180854
From what i understood guardsmen motto is "quantity has a quality all in it's own", so i thought 2 plasma pistols would be better than 1. worst case he dies, best case.. he dies while taking someone with him.

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>>66180994
You've got me on the edge of my seat, shogs.

>>66181012

>"But then I thought- 'Hey, I've got two hands, don't I?'"

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>>66180946

just spoiler it

This is going to be wonderful.
Side note, I fall asleep listening to text-to-speech versions of this. I've determined it makes me fall asleep on a solid 15-20 minutes.

>>66181129
Try again.

>>66181001
>>66181109
The cube is a tesseract vault. Oak's plan is to imprison the daemon that leads the conspiracy in the pokeball as he has tried and failed to ki it several times already. Said daemon will be present at he trial as a sort of fuck you to Oak, but it doesn't know that Oak has access to a Vault because he suppressed any mention of it from the report and swore the Guardsmen to silence about it.

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>>66180994

Afternoons in Camp Redemption were a little more free than the mornings. Most of the Legion got a second round of drills focused on such complex concepts as which way 'round to hold a lasgun, ditch-digging, and how to serve as a human bomb, but as Guardsmen we already knew that stuff. The more senior members of the Legion were split up between various work details, which gave us a chance to get started on Sarge's little Chore List.

Sarge's scouting mission to the Evidence Building involved a lot more drain-cleaning and hand-weeding of poisonous xeno-flora than the trainees' description of "light groundskeeping duty" had led him to believe. The PDF trainee apologized, saying it varied a lot day to day, since they were filling in for a whole range of servitors that'd been hauled off by the tech-priests. When Sarge expressed interest in this, the trainees further explained that it wasn't actually just the Evidence Building's servitors, an entire third of the Headquarters' corpse-bots had been pulled for inspection by a team of Magos'. Something to do with the discovery of a shipment of chaos-tainted servitor control units with Inquisitorial markings on some backwater space station… Sarge decided not to ask further questions on the subject.

lol quite a few people have told me they sleep while listening to agp now.

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>>66181205
I love it.

>>66181175
Why do I fail at life?

>>66181205
labyrinth seems more likely, yes?

>>66181222
At least you got trips, mate.

>>66181222
I don't know, why do you? Only you can answer that.

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>>66179418
hell to the fuck yes

nice to see you up and about shogster

>>66181222

sounds like you'd do well in the penal legion tee bee h

>>66179418
>there were some guardbois and some xenos and the guardboi's all died like a little bitch.
>Thee end.

>>66181213
>Something to do with the discovery of a shipment of chaos-tainted servitor control units with Inquisitorial markings on some backwater space station

Ha, I wonder how this will fuck over the AGP during the trial

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>>66179418
At last it is here, you glorious motherfuckers.

>>66181219
Go away neckbeardia.
Even if people did go to sleep using AGP, they'd use Cloak and Dagger's reading and not your low effort text to speech, as they don't want nightmares.

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>>66181326

>>66181326
>>66181351
Sad but true.
You can improve, Neckbeardia! I believe in you!

>>66181293
Fit me with a collar, hand me a lasgun with one power pack and point me at a hill that needs taking. I go now to my death and/or redemption.

>>66181362
What’s he supposed to do? His voice is incomprehensible, and the oh-so-smooth tts voice is great anyways.

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>>66181213

During the periods of time when the Cadet overseeing the groundskeeping detail (the same morose-looking one that filled in for the Commissar during the morning) wasn't watching too closely, Sarge got a good look and the Mundane Evidence Building's layout and outer security. Nothing really interesting jumped out at him about the building proper, but his attention was grabbed by three smaller buildings sharing its end of the compound. The one directly adjacent the evidence building turned out to be a shipping and receiving depot, where the majority of the actual Evidence being stored came in and out. Judging by the sweating Inquisitorial Stormtroopers hauling load after load after load of boxes, it was the one menial job in the complex that hadn't been handed off to the Legionnaires.

The second building spotted had an industrial look to it. The trainees said it was a plasma incinerator used for general trash burning and the disposal of the various evidence that the Inquisition was done with. When the Cadet commissar wasn't nearby, the PDF trooper quietly informed Sarge that the Legionnaire squad currently running it were a bunch of organized locals best not trifled with. More importantly, they were also the primary source of contraband in the camp.

The final smaller building wasn't nearly as interesting, at least according to the trainees. They said it was just a laundry processing building, serving both the camp and other Headquarters staff in the area. The guys running it were rivals to the incinerator gang, but considerably less organized since two of their leaders had been executed that morning for stealing out of the bins.

>>66181205
That's...
Shoggy, is that what happens?
Please, it's so perfect.

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>>66181351
Gotta be honest that i have fallen asleep to your videos once or twice before. I like your chanel/content since it works as an aggregator of good-awesome stories for me. Don't let the meanie get you down, and thanks for curating for me.

>>66181351
As a Texan, your bog-language is utter gibberish to me, but I still enjoy your vids.

>>66181474
If it's truly neck, he deserves to be bullied for namefagging in shoggy's thread.

>>66181515
that's true actually

>>66181219
I can't stand the cloak and dagger version but my normie wife can't stand the tts version. The mono-tone voice is actually better for my 'spergers

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>Interrogator CPL Ishmael looks on eagerly as the OG IG Inquisitorial Goon Squad brings the campaign to a glorious finale

>>66181532
We bully you because we love you, you mick bastard.

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>>66181444

Tink and Twitch's assignment was a little less straightforward. "Sit around in your barracks, where nobody can see what you're doing" wasn't one of the available duties, so their official job was assisting our Commissar in his functions, both official and bodily. Tink had protested and tried to foist the latter part of the job on Doc, but the medic had his hands full working in the camp's medical corps, who'd accepted him without so much a check to see if he knew which end of the scalpel to hold, and immediately set him patching up the constant stream of bleeding Legionnaires sent over from the remedial drills. Anyway, fortunately for Tink and Twitch, a few discrete life-support features built into the Commissar's chair handled the ickier parts of their duty, which is why the trainees said they preferred to just leave him in it. The Cadet who turned up at the barrack's door pushing a pallet had the same disgruntled expression as the one supervising Sarge's patrol, but he brightened up immensely when Tink and Twitch took it from him and scurried off without asking any questions.

Once the Commissar, who'd attained a vague, profanity-filled semblance of consciousness just after lunch, had been placated with his "morning" drink, and loaded on the pallet chair-and-all, he ordered his new handlers on a lovely little tour of the base. Nobody gave Twitch or Tink a second look as they pushed the man around the camp, slurring inarticulate curses at anyone he saw and unsuccessfully commanding the few female Cadet Commissars to service him. In fact nobody even gave them a first look, both the Cadets and the other Commissars avoided the trio as much as possible and did their best to ignore them when they couldn't. Tink and Twitch quickly decided they liked the man, it was like having their very own profanity-spewing cloak of invisibility, which only occasionally spit on and threw empty bottles at them.

>>66181458
We'll find out in due time. I just wanted to share my theory and go on record so I could shout "TOLD YOU SO!" if it turns out to be true.

>>66181326
>>66181351
Neckbeardia is also good for quantity. His stuff is low effort so he can push out a lot. This also means more obscure stuff can surface.

So I say it's a fair trade. Cloak & Dagger for quality. Neckberdia for diversity and quantity.

>>66181572
>Lord Commissar "Mad" Hamish

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>>66181572

The parade wound up visiting pretty much every building in the camp, with the notable exception of the Command Post, which the Commissar informed the pair was full of pissant busybodies unfit to choke on his massive… well, safe to say he wasn't on the best of terms with his nominal superiors. From what Tink and Twitch could gather from the little tidbits of sense mixed in with the incoherent ranting, the man had once had a pretty successful commissarial career with some fancy noble regiment. Medals, parades, beautiful women expressing their eternal gratitude to their planets noble saviors, and all that stuff; right up to the point where literally his entire regiment deserted (NOT the Tau Empire, Twitch checked).

The man had just came back from a trip to planetary HQ with the regiment's other Commissar and they were gone, gear, armor, tents, camp followers and all; nothing left besides an excessively detailed note telling the campaign's senior brass where to stick it. Needless to say, said brass had been pissed. The Inquisition had gotten involved, things had gotten political, and here "they" were, assigned permanent duty to this shithole. Not to the legion mind, but the camp itself, everyone else got out eventually, one way or another, but not him or "that weasel-faced, self-righteous, ass-kissing, ladder-climbing, lying little shit". His once solace in life was that our "glorious" deaths would doubtlessly be long, horrible, and probably involve Orks with pointy sticks. Twitch wholeheartedly agreed.

Anyway, after a final stop at the quartermasters for as much booze as the harried man running the stores would give him (plus a few extra bottles he commanded his minions to cram down their pants when the man's back was turned), Tink and Twitch were freed to do as much collar-tinkering as they could manage while the old man's increasingly slurred curses transitioned to snores. The Cadet never came back for the pallet.

>>66181595
My favorite greentext of all time I found on neckbeardia’s channel. It was the Peter Richardson Enclave one, which I can’t find anywhere on the internet. I guess it’s a decent trade off. Where do you get those obscure stories anyways Neckbeardia?

>>66181578
Your bet has been recorded.

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>>66181709

gonna try and stay awake as long as can bumping thread while playing rdr2 on the side

My bet is that Oak is an Ork and that everyone's been mishearing his name the whole time, usin' 'is kunnin' mind ta fink up wayz ta do moar dakka.

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Hey shoggy, just wanted to say that your storytelling style, even if its optimized for posting on the chans, is super-unique and part of what makes these such great reads for me. Your stories are an integral part of my /comfy/ days, just chilling and reading.

no matter how the rest of the tale goes, thanks for giving us such a great story

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>>66181599
I actually just inherited an illustrated version of The Last Hero along with roughly 2000 other assorted sci-fi and fantasy books my uncle had collected.

It's one of the few ones I'm certain I'm going to keep, along with the complete Dream and Transmetropolitan collections.

No idea what I'm going to do with the other 1950 books though. Don't really want to throw them away, but everything I personally read these days is either online or audio, and none of the used bookstores or libraries I've talked to really seem interested in such a massive collection...

>>66181800
Furthermore, the Diplomacy Adept knows, and kees a lid on it because he doesn't want this guy running around at full power against the Inquisition.

>>66181817
Thats an amazing collection, sorry about your uncle though, sounds like he was a cool guy.

>>66179657
Shoggy, you're appreciated and my prayers go out to you and yours.

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>>66181817
Actually, in all seriousness, if any of you see something on this list that particularly interests you let me know. I think one box got misplaced during the clean-up, but the vast majority are up for grabs to anyone who can give them a good home and is willing to pay shipping.

>>66181817
I'd gladly take them off your hands if I was close enough to do so. And if my house had any remaining shelf space. It's a shame that the stores in your area aren't interested.

>>66181985
damn, i could go for some hitchhikers, but im broke atm. hope all books find a good home

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>>66181985
hey, thats alot of books

>>66181985
>92 page pdf of all the books in a 2000 book collection
Jesus Christ Shoggy, did you have to compile this yourself?

>>66181985
I'll give the list a look and drop you an email if anything jumps out at me.

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>>66181642

Nubby, who'd vanished along with the ex-Con trainee, returned to the barrack after everyone else that evening and brought a set of what looked to be home-made lockpicking tools with him. Unfortunately he also brought three Legionnaires, one of which Sarge recognized from the crew working the incinerator, and there was a bit of disagreement on the matter of payment. A few bottles out of the snoozing Commissar's stash had originally been offered, but upon arrival the biggest of the three men informed us that the Interrogator had run up a tab and we'd inherited his debt. Needless to say, we saw things differently: Tink and Twitch were in favor of just killing them, we did have 3 to 1 odds on them and were all armed selection of pokey metal things courtesy of their stop at the quartermaster's office. Doc and Nubby were feeling a bit wussier though, especially considering the way we'd seen the old Commissar break up that one fight, so the ultimate decision was left to our fearless leader.

Sarge briefly debated the merits of establishing superiority by punching the biggest thug in the snout, possibly with his augmetic hand, but judging by the trainees' worried expressions it didn't seem like the smartest fight to pick, and anyway, it was a bit early to be burning bridges with our only supplier in the camp. After a bit of arguing and haggling from Sarge and Nubby respectively, the thugs were sent off with as much booze as the trainees felt we could slip out of the Commissar's collection without him noticing. The three men smugly thanked us for the "interest payment" and said they expected more next week. We didn't need the trainees to tell us that the arrangement wasn't going to be a stable one.

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>>66181985
How do I contact you if I see something I want?


All of those books sound interesting, but I hardly recognize any of them. Does anyone have recommendations? I like more action/humor stuff a la Dresden Files and Discworld (I'll probably request monstrous regiment and hogfather, been looking for those). What other things on this list might I also like?

>>66182139
>Okay, sorry to say it, but that's where I think I'll stop it for now. The bit players are all laid out, and the next post reads like I had a stroke while writing it and I don't currently feel up to the challenge of getting it to an actually comprehensible state. Will spend the next 2 weeks getting this shit in order and hopefully return with the whole shebang in order. (God, I stopped drinking why does all this stuff I wrote during April read like I'm drunk?)

>Will stick around for a bit before I crash.

>>66182062
Not entirely, he had them all on paper and over half in that access database, I just finished the last 1000 or so. Thank god I didn't have to tackle the music collection, that thing was at least three times as large between the CDs and Vinyls.

>>66182077
Please do

>>66181805
Thanks, and the chan posting limit is actually sort of integral at this point. It can be a massive pain to try and pare stuff down to the character limit, but it's the only thing that keeps me from rambling for pages on end. Gotta appreciate the forced coherence I guess.

#66181985

Shoggy, I would love to take the Uplift Series by David Brin off your hands. If you're bored enough, I'll even try to narrate them for you and send you that. Should I email you about shipping costs?

Love

Looking forward to two weeks hence. Thanks for tonight Shoggy.

>>66182254
My email is on the archive site, I promise I actually read everything sent to me, if I get stuck in mental circles and fail to respond.

The books vary wildly in quality, but a decent metric to look at is the dates. Newer stuff isn't necessarily better, but it tends to be a lot more accessible than 60s/70s sci-fi. Googling best-of lists is always an option, but you'd be amazed how much stuff has slipped through the cracks over the years.

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>>66182260
Don't worry about it, Shogs. The longer you take to finish this just means that it'll be longer before it's over.

>>66182260
thanks for this little tidbit regardless, shoggy

see you in a few weeks

>>66182282
Yep just email me. The David Brin books are some of the 5% of that list I've personally read, the Uplift series and Kiln People are very enjoyable reads. I actually own (well, pirated) the George Wilson-narrated audiobooks sometime last year. I should listen to them again.

>>66182324
Thanks man. I personally really want to hit the ending though, want to be able to say I've actually properly finished something for once, and to be able to greentext the stuff I play this summer without concern about priorities. (Also, Failer will drive down out of the mountains and curb-stomp me if I don't get to his big Plot™ Moment™ before everyone loses interest)

>>66182260
Looking forward to the next installment! Its been a hell of a ride, thank you for seeing this through to the end.

>>66181985
Gimmie the Rama books. Wait, how much is shipping? What state do you live in?

>>66182580
I'm in the Denver area these days. No idea personally what shipping costs, but google should be able to help you figure out the weight and such.

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>>66181985
holyfuck that's a long list of forgotten /tg/ books Shoggy

>>66181985
>no library wants these
bullshit, make your own library then! Drum up interest from like-minded folks and literature enthusiasts.

>>66179657
Thank you for hours of pure entertainment. I wish I could find a group as good as yours

Shoggy, the best way I can pay you back is to say that if you're ever in Dallas, go to Jimmy's Italian Deli and get the Cuban.

>>66181985
Hey, I'd like the Spirit Ring, The Elves and the Otterskin, The Wizard and the Warlord, and The Last Unicorn if you're giving them away. What's the best way to do it?

Posting late but still here soon enough to post.

Twitch is my hero!

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>>66181326
Neckbeardia is based he's the only one that picked up on that fallout greentext.

>>66181666
Found it in case you want to read it, which I'm assuming was the reason you looked elswhere
https://docs.google.com/document/d/14tz0gVSkXHUbD2ljci0xHzowGXVo_7OWZ4Y-veNxYu0/edit

Holy mother of Terra, a live AGP??

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i sent my mother to some out-of-town spa thing for mothers day so i could enjoy this thread in peace.

god bless you shoggy, best part of my weekend in months, possibly the whole year.

Put me in the screeencap

>>66182260
"ramblings of an ADHD 3rd grader" my ass. This was a quality AGP Storytime.

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>>66179657
I love you
Keep being awesome my man

>>66187439
noice

>>66189032
10/10

>>66179418
Kids, your father was here.

Shoggy youre a true legend

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Oh right, I guess I should post this silly thing in here before the thread goes cablooey, It's colours of a thing from 14dchan, with aproximate bounties measured in:
1.The ammount of damage people probably saw (which is why doc's is so high)
2. Every traffic fine and violation in the imperium's history being dispenced at once (most of which probably were instantly given to teammates who were not present, I'm sure Aimy being renowned imperium-wide as dangerous vostryan amazon driver will be fine)
3. The ability to say "not it" fast enough when someone brings up who gets what fine (which is why Nubby's bounty is so low)

>>66182254
You should read Douglas Adams' stuff, including Dirk Gently.

Dirk Gently got turned into a really weird and different from the books but still fantastic tv show recently that is now dead, I also recommend both seasons of it.

Fuck yea, glad I caught this

>>66193011
Well done. What do you think of putting together wanted posters for the dead party members?

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>>66193586
You mean something like pic related, or something more like what I posted earlier in this reply chain?

I like the idea that our Guardsmen might assign some of their parking violations to the dead party members, though. Not only does it mean they get out of paying the fines, it also ensures at least some record of our fallen heroes remains.

>>66179418
>All guardsmen party thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MF345T3GX8
Thank you oh mercifull god and thank you Shoggy!

>>66180121
>"They fold their rust particles a thousand times in order to make the blade thoroughly rusty!"

>>66180838
It's still better than my lazy image edits of just shooping a head over some other head.

>>66181572
>Tink and Twitch quickly decided they liked the man, it was like having their very own profanity-spewing cloak of invisibility, which only occasionally spit on and threw empty bottles at them.
It's like a duckt tape untouchable, but for commissars!

>>66195977
Top kek

>>66179418
I'd just like to say Mr. Shoggy that you are a hero to the imperium.

>>66179418
Holy shit im here for an AGPS thread. Shoggy our a legend

>>66194679
Pic related. :)

>>66182260
Thanks Shoggy, your writings never fail to amuse or enlighten. Good luck friend, and keep strong.

Bump

>>66195321
Oh God

>>66195321
Underrated

>>66179418
i finally get to post in one
thank the emperor

>>66182260
Solid shot shoggy. I love your stuff

Emperor bless, cought one Alice

>>66201690
Alive, fuckin autocorrect

>>66201701
I feel your pain fellow phone poster

>>66179418
Can't believe I got to see one live. You're a gem, shoggy.

>>66179657
Your stories got me into 40k lore bro, not to mention contributed to me wanting to play D&D, which basically got me my whole friend group these last few years and my girlfriend. No apologies needed man, welcome back you generous bastard.

OH HELL YES YOU BACK

don't die yet thread

Bumping the best thread on /tg/.

>>66207851
>>66207843
>>66204322
>>66201690

You guys do realize that Shoggy's gone and the rest of the thread will mostly be people bumping it, right?

>>66207926
Yeah, but i just want to keep it around as long as possible out of sentimentality.

>>66208027
Fair enough

>>66207926
BUMPS FOR THE BUMP GOD

>>66193011
RIP Heavy, Cutter and Crisp

Also, I think it would be great if Twitch, Doc, Tink and Nubby were worth more and the sum of their bounties was 1.000.000.000 thrones, and Greg was, again, worth 1.000.000.000 thrones himself. Just because he's basically the ones that gives all these madlads the direction they need to cause mayhem.

>>66209960
Alright, I'll see what I can do, but no promises

>>66210088
Still a great picture that I immediately saved: thanks anon!