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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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>playing 5e
>my first time DMing
>(T):"hey anon, would you mind if I used this vampire homebrew"
>friend has played d&d a lot more than me and I trust him
>"sure (T), I trust you not to pick anything crazy"
>session one
>level one
>party gets to a dungeon full of traps
>"(T) your passive perception is too low to notice the pressure plate. You step on it and the floor collapses beneath you. Make a dex saving throw or fall into the pit."
>(T): "I turn into a cloud of gas."


>(T): "its a vampire racial trait. It makes me intangible"
>continues all night to turn to gas to slip through keyholes in locked doors and avoid all damage.
>"okay....how many times can you do that?"
>(T): "I can do it at will, indefinitely."
>"cool. Reroll your character."
>(T): "you said I could use this homebrew!"

>argument happens and everyone gets awkward and leaves

Strike 1.

My Rule #1 is no homebrew for this exact reason. It’s always super overpowered or the author is too self-aware and make it mechanically garbage. There’s no middle ground
That's exactly the reason why I write the characters of my players.
Trust but verify.
What was the rest of the party comp?
If there were any paladins or clerics, I would have barred the idea before he even got to play.
>DM, can I use homebrew?
>Yes, I will not even look at it.
And then it turned out it was bad!

Fuck off, frogposter.
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>be 2 years after the vampire incident.
>none of us have played d&d since
>myself and 2 previous party members talk about wanting to start up a group again
>one of my friends suggests that we invite (T)
>we eventually decide to give him another chance
>start group chat with d&d members
>tell everyone to make their characters as a group this week so the party meshes well
>everyone agrees
>party now consists of
>evil cleric of an evil God
>neutral war forge rogue who follows the party because their the only people he knows
>neutral warlock with a mysterious connection to an otherworldly horror
>and (T)'s character.
>a lawful good paladin of torm
>he's an angel
>his god died 100 years ago and he seeks only to revive him
>pretty much actively hates and chastises the rest of the party
>still sticks around for some reason
>in general his character has annoying traits, like refusing to use money so he barters for everything, even simple things like potions and camping equipment
>is condescending in character and gets the party into a lot of trouble with authority
>session 10 rolls around
>no one likes (T)'s character and it's starting to interrupt the flow of the story
>talk to all of the players about their goals and drive in the story
>(T) says that all he wants is to revive his God
>the next part of the campaign circles around (T) as he participates in a tournament where the prize is a wish
>he wins and wishes his God was alive

>uh oh monkeys paw

>he gets transported back in time to just before his God dies
>is able to use his magic weapons and future knowledge to successfully save his own God from death
>smile to myself as I've wrapped up his story and removed a shitty character from the game in a satisfying way

or so i thought.

and fighter
it was an evil party so i figured it was fine.

yeah it was literally my first time DMing and i was pretty good friends with this guy at the time. i had no idea how bad it could get.
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I'd like to preface this post by saying that i don't consider myself a very good DM and i'm sure that a lot of this is my fault as well.


>"alright anon you're character is in the past living peacefully with his God, want to reroll and join the rest of the party with the main quest?"
>(T): "well with this angel race I don't age so I'm just going to wait until the rest of the party is born again"

>fucking what

>he waits until the party is born
>specifically meddles in their lives in order to make them better people.
>evil cleric is now a good wizard dedicated to torm
>war forged was befriended the moment he woke up and now serves torm
>warlock was prevented from experiencing the accident that linked him with the horror and is now a bard
>(T) decides he also didn't like the city they were living in (with all the NPCs they had grown to like a lot)
>so they are based in a city dedicated to torm
>we arrive back at session 1 with, effectively, a new party and setting
>all previous sessions are now void
>everyone quits again

Strike 2

also i evidently suck dick at proofreading. that top line should read

>"alright (T) your'e character is in the past ETC."
...yeah you could have just.... said no at any point in time there. It's good you know it's your fault, but seriously, what was going through your head that made you think "one guy ruining everyone else's characters is actually fine".
What is with these retarded frogposters and their gayshit spam.
>be two month's later
>(T) submits his formal apology to the group chat
>states his intentions were good and his plan was to unite the group and that way they would work together better
>group says he was being a douche-bag but they are willing to try again with him.
>says he'll be on his best behavior

quick side note, i did not realize that at this point (T) had been kicked out of his pathfinder group that he participated in at our LGS so without this group he would have no RPG group at all.

>we pick up the same campaign as before
>we retcon the story to make (T) level one like everyone else
>(T) is on his best behavior like he said
>campaign continues for 8 months
>(T) is sliding back into some old habits we didn't like before
>group decides that if he does anything that harms the story progression we will boot him for good

I was being retarded thinking that this is how DMing is. You just let your players do whatever and whatnot.
Fuck off samefag.
This would be a cool idea IF the players were on board, which they werent. (T) saying he did it to make the party work better shows how self-centered he is, seeing that he didn't realize HE was the one who didnt mesh well with the rest of the game.
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>final segment of the campaign rolls around
>the party has got the magic mcguffins needed in order to defeat the ultra wizard in his extra-dimensional world
>utilize the 5th dimensional dungeon
>pic related
>each room has different physics and monsters guarding it
>a roaming guardian prevents the players from resting too long
>dungeon is very hard and requires all players unique contributions in order to succeed
>very excited to have players experience this dungeon i worked so hard on
>portal to the dungeon is in an old dilapidated church
>they enter into the portal
>enter into a room with a note and a single door
>note reads something like "i'm evil AF and i'm gonna kill you if you enter my domain so leave now or else."
>(T): "i leave"


>(T): "this seems really dangerous and i don't think my character would put himself in that situation"
>party has been hunting down this wizard for months
>the wizard that destroyed their base town, resurrected all the dead citizens as zombies and made the party fight and destroy them all
>the wizard that disintegrated the bard's leg and now he has a peg and won't use a regenerate spell until his hate is satisfied
>The wizard who's goal is to banish all gods from this plane
>(T) thinks his character would most likely choose to stay in the dilapidated church and clean it instead
>the rest of the party decide to try and do the dungeon anyway
>i know they can't do it without (T) or some kind of rewrite

i'm not proud of how i handled this.

>i change nothing in my dungeon and let the other players try
>commenting on how integral (T)s involvement would have been to their success every time they are having a hard time
>continue to force (T) to roleplay cleaning a church, making him tell me where he's depositing all the dust and dirt
>party slowly dies one by one in the dungeon
>the dilapidated church is unstable and the cleaning (T) was doing causes it to collapse on top of him, killing him

Sounds like you're at fault almost as much as T. You can say no.
theres a reason this is a that guy / that GM thread, anon.
>"I decide to actively fuck with the timeline and events that led to me getting my wish and reviving my god"

How did you Monkey's Paw his wish so effectively, yet fail to impose any consequences on literally re-writing his own timeline? That's like rule 1 of time travel.

Him radically changing all the traits of the other party members should have easily caused them to never meet, and therefor mean he never got his Wish, and therefore never revived his god.
At that point you were just feeding into his "look at me being so unique" shit.
It's like replying to a troll, you just don't do it and don't give them the satisfaction.
I hope you have learned and had better experiences after this.
I'm not the best GM and i was certainly a lot worse back then.
yeah i'm well aware i fed the troll and rage quit my own game. like i said. not proud.
>go with the party or go out the window, johnny will take your roll
>out the window you go you fucking nigger, tommy get the rope in case he crawls back
bam, hope that experience thought you something, op
I allow homebrew after reviewing it if the player can justify why it's necessary/why official options won't work. Even then it's agreed upon that any homebrew thing is veto-able after the fact if it ends up being a problem. It's a subjective way of dealing with it but I honestly enjoy some of what homebrew offers. Yes most of it is garbage but if you're playing with reasonable adults then it tends to add rather than detract from the game. But I get why a ton of people just outright ban it and I realize this approach definitely isn't for everyone.
The dude is a douche but you really should have handled it differently if you put that much work into the finale. I mean, it seems really easy to force his actions by just saying his god tells him to go do it. If he refuses, have the god send another angel to help (just give that angel the same stats/equipment) and tell the other players they can use the angel as they see fit (i.e. they just control it). Meanwhile he gets smited.
Yeah I wasn't handling it well at all and pretty much just blinded by rage. I regret how it happened but in just glad it's over now and we all learned and now have a much better group.
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>party is searching underground catacombs for the king with the head general of the king's army
>eventually the general turned out to be a satyr wizard in a magical disguise
> no DC to detect this or any hints
>satyr reveals this and proceeds to paralyze the party
>No save DC or any way to prevent this
>Satyr literally fucking monologues while the party is paralyzed and cant do anything
>Satyr summons a giant goblin with a flaming dick-whip for some god forsaken reason

TFW i was that DM.

I'm sorry bois. that was bad.
Can he turn into a cloud of gas as a reaction? I don't think so. Also, you're retarded for not looking into it first. You ass.
>his intentions were good and his plan was to unite the group and that way they would work together better
Funny thing, that, when you're the odd man out in a co-op group, you don't fix everyone else. You don't try to grease the wheels that are running smooth. Seems to be a consistent thing, he doesn't get the metagame of cooperation.

That being said. You mishandled it greatly. Just kick the dude. If you have a problem with someone not cooperating in the game, talk with them. If you can't reach an agreement or satisfying resolution, then you aren't going to mix well and should split ways.
Well that sounded like an awkward situation Anon. Even with that it could be worse.
Pic related

Also are you sure this persons name doesn't start with an J? Sounds oddly familiar.
I'm not entirely sure it's a That Guy thing, for starters, because I just joined a competitive wargame group, not a TTRPG one, but

>Join up new group through a friend
>Casual in tone, but there's one guy, Adam, who is an extremely skilled player.
>And by extremely skilled he's apparently the sort who goes to actual tournaments and slaughters people in those and just comes here to play casually.
>Really nice, friendly, helpful to the new guy in myself with rules stuff and he'll even help me come up with plans and the like
>But then when he's at the table himself, it's fucked up.
>He just has this facial expression, that's a mixture between some sort of bloodlust, he hunches his shoulders and opens and closes his fists a lot, paces around; the other half is like he's about to ejaculate, screwed up face, eyes not quite rolling but clearly losing focus, flushed face, rapid breathing.
>For moving a bunch of cardboard chits around
>It is really, really fucking creepy to be around him for more than 10 minutes.
>Then, the game ends, and he comes down from his high or whatever it is, and starts acting perfectly normal again.
>satyr reveals this and proceeds to paralyze the party
>No save DC or any way to prevent this
What was going through your head that made you think this was a good idea?
I homebrewed a gunslinger class before the gunslinger class existed. I shopped the alpha build around to other DM's I knew and worked it down to a usable state before introducing it into my campaign as an available class.
It turned out pretty well because the campaign was from level 1-11 and a critical flaw of the class that I couldn't seem to fix prevented class progression beyond level 13. When the gunslinger class came out, I stopped fucking with it.
A shame the class never made it past a (sort of) working beta. It was fun to build a concept into a class.
Why didn't you read it first?

But who cares, these stories never happened.
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>Playing weird homebrew mixing GURPS with some Sine Requie mechanics
>PCs are currently in the Vietnam jungle, looking for a specific person to kidnap in order to restore the timeflux and avoid the flooding of current times with dinosaurs or something.
>After some time spent in figuring out where they were exactly and tracing a map of their surrondings, they manage to get to an US Army base.
>By looking up from their mission logs and statments, as well as chatting up with local villagers plus soldiers on leave, the goups discovers that their target, in the "normal" timeline, was an American officer that died by fragging.
>In order to get the timeline "fixed," they need to have him being loved by hs soldiers, or at least live through his tour of duty.
>One player solution's is to find enough cigars and booze to give to the officer, and instruct him to give them to his soldiers over time.
>Another player's idea is to impersonate a higher-up that would want to relocate the captain from his squad to another.
>That Guy's solution is "let's go and lobotomize every single squaddie with an ice pick."
>I look perplexed, but other players seem to love it.
>I let them go with it, but try as hard as I can to make it hard to do.
>At one point they try to lobotomize five soldiers at once.
>One player has his head smashed in on the floor, the other loses an eye.
>But That Guy? That guy somehow manages to avoid everything with ninja-like moves, ice-pick all targets, and get off essentially scot-free.
>Not even having the logical thing of the local police getting involved and villagers desiring his blood seem to work.
>He just goes out, grapples and ice-picks the opponent, then disengages with a kick in the groin before going for the next opponent.
>Since the campaign has been impossibly derailed, I tell him that letting only the officer survive did fuck-all for the timeflux, and actually made it worse.
>"Why anon? The officer survived lol".

>ITT: Reasons why more GM's need to learn to say no to stupid bullshit
Seriously, every problem ITT would've been solved by telling THAT GUY no, in no uncertain terms, while explaining to them why their idea is fucking stupid.
>"That Guy"
>Classic/stereotypical neckbeard who wears Donald Trump and pepe shirts
>Has a SS-themed imperial guard covered with swaztikas and everything
>All he does is arrive, set up his nazi army, then sits in front of it excitedly with 1 leg shaking up and down
>Clearly wants someone to say something
>If anyone does say something he flips out and talks about his right to free speech and goes on an "acthually" rant about how not all germans were evil
>Will rant about bizarre things for hours on end to anyone who's there, even if they're clearly not listening. I've gotten a 30 minute earfull about the byzantine empire with some obviously BS claims like some emperor was a wizard who was assassinated by the pope on order of the jews
>I go to the bathroom and he's still yelling about the Byzantines through the door
>If he's winning he'll unironically yell "praise kek" and "oi vey!"
>On the more often occasion where he's losing, he gets incredibly flustered during games to the points to the point of throwing his own models on the floor
>One time he got so mad he tried to flip the table and ended up throwing a bunch of terrain pieces on the floor
>Owner keeps having to take him outside to calm him down and talk to him about not throwing a fit
>>If he's winning he'll unironically yell "praise kek" and "oi vey!"
That's doubly funny, since in Yiddish, "oy vey" is an exclamation of despair, or at least complaint.
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>buddies are all playing RIFTS
>I personally think RIFTS is a shit concept, just throwing together random shit arbitrarily
>but my usual party ... is fucking playing RIFTS, so I can't actually run a game!
>You know what? Fuck it. I'll drop my preconceived notions, and roll up a character.
>slap a character together and join the party.
>"okay, you wake up in an alley near the local marketplace."
>Well, the local marketplace is where I'll find a couple of the party members, so I'll head there.
>Okay, as you clear the alley, you notice a Glitter Boy standing guard.
>Well, I'm not looking to start shit, so I'll keep a wary distance and look for my teammates.
>You can't. You're dead.
>What? Why?
>The Glitter Boy killed you.
>You came out of an alley. He thought you were criminal scum. It happens. *shrug*
>The other party members stare at me like this is common sense that everyone should know intrinsically.
>k I'm done. gg erryone kthxbai.
I don't think nerds with their brains fried on too much 4chan really know or care about that technicality.
>GM asks me for my character concept and backstory so he can make the character sheet by himself
>Think this is neat because the GN is more aware about the difficulty and theme of the game yet still being what I want to play
>Flashforward 6 months in
>Char is useless and I've been tricked many times into staying because the GM keeps saying "don't worry, your time to shine will come" while still being a zero to the left
>Feed up with this shit I decide to leave for good
>GM "is your fault for picking an useless class"
>Entire group looks at him
It's been a week and I bet he still didn't realize how dumb he is
>Running an Amalgama Game in the Gold Era.
>Party is composed of five people, but only three are relevant to this story, let's call them John, Guy and Dude.
>John plays a Professional Soldier with a specialization in LMGs, Guy is a Technician with Medicine Skill (AKA a doctor), Dude appears to be all other players as a normal human Technician but is actually a Nullusgenitus of Radiation that created a body out of rubber and tin cans.
>No one, aside from me and Dude, know this.
>Party is in Cipputi, looking for a place where to rest safely.
>The two other players have to leave early, so before they go off we decide they go shop for the party's supplies (components TBD in-between sessions).
>Guy, Dude and John go look for said place instead.
>They enter in a dingy B&B next to Atlax Road.
>The B&B's owner is immediately suspicious of Dude, and immediately asks if he's with John and Guy.
>Dude gets defensive in-character, explains the situation.
>The owner is unimpressed and tells the party to leave.
>Guy's attempts at diplomacy fail, and John doesn't feel like unholstering his SMG for what amounts to a rude owner.
>Dude, however, doesn't want to let it go, and starts pleading to the owner in-character, to no avail.
>Guy and John say that it'd be better to look elsewhere, but Dude doesn't want to let the B&B's owner win.
>After a few more pleads, Dude scribbles on a scrap of paper and passes it to me from udner the table as John and Guy are busy complaining OOC and IC about how long he's dragging that on and on.
>"Does he notice I'm a nullusgenitus?"
>"No," I answer by writing behind the same scrap "but you might want to go away still."
>Does he take the hint?
>Well... he wouldn't be featured here if he did.
>However, he decides to go about it the orst way possible.
>"I take off my right glove and touch him on the shoulder."
>"Are you sure?" I ask him "I mean, he looks pretty ready to beat you up..."
>"Oh, I know what I'm doing".
>Then he winks at me.
It was a dndwiki homebrew
I wanted to kill one or two PCs to rise the stakes without having to face actual rolls
Those are the worst. There's little-to-no peer review and they're unbalanced as fuck.
>Since that's about the only "At-will, on-touch" power he has, I assume he's using Cancerous Touch.
>"The B&B owner's eyes go wide open. In the spot where you touched him he feels a pulse, something painfully growing and, when he looks at it, he noticed to his shock and horror that four grapefruit-sized sickly brown tumors have appeared. He screams of pain and terror, but his scream is cut off mid-sentnece as he loses his hair and teeth all at once before dying on the spot."
>There's silence at the table, Dude looks smug as fuck, John and Guy look fairly shocked.
>"Wait, you were a fucking Nullusgenitus all along? A radiation one at that?!" Guy says, sliding from OOC tone to IC tone in the space of few sentences "I must've gotten sterile by now!"
>"You deceitful vermin! You have deceived us for too long with your disguises, but, now that you've shown us your true colors, it's now time for you to die!" John shouts out, before declaring he's going to use his Rapid Reload perk before shooting a Full Auto Salvo against Dude's character.
>Dude smugly smirks and rolls.
>Cue dice numbers that could well have been a lazy High School Student's grade card.
>Dude puts his hands in his hair, staring with mouth agape at the results.
>The salvo outrights shreds the rubber away, makes the tin crumple into useless and causes several enchanted bullets to disperse essence and Phylacterial Items to the point Dude's character goes from full health to completely dead.
>"W-why did you do that?" he weakly asks John.
>"You just killed a business owner because he was being an asshole to you, by using literal cancer, while being a creature that literally nobody likes. Tell me what else did you expect?"
>Dude says it's not fair and that we're all dicks for killing him, then he gets up and Leaves slamming the door.

He's ocming back next week, we're trying to teach him better RPing this time.
Kill his character again to get the point across, if he bitches kill him
>DNDwiki homebrew.
That should've told you everything right there.
>You will never be such a grognard you cum from rolling well and sniping an enemy rifleman from 6 ft away
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How about /that group/?
>make homebrew campaign with premade characters (all good)
>all except 1 make no effort to play their characters
>they play their usual group roles
>murderhobo starts murderhoboing
>they come across npc and decide to fuck with him
>make him invincible and slightly more powerful
>keep hinting they should just leave
>they keep trying
>they catch on that he's invincible
>say fuck this they don't wanna play
I still play with them because I have no choice and they've gotten a lot better but holy shit they don't know how to play characters.
dumb frogposter
part 1?
Theres no way this guy actually walks in public in that gear without getting punched. Heres a (you) for the bait.
Good classic textbook wish shenanigans.
Not to mention wish wouldn't even cover reviving a slain deity.
Out of curiosity was the deity replaced by another?
Or is the spot open in the pantheon?
Ah don't beat yourself up man.
I've had time traveling cause hiccups.
One thing I like to implement is more or less the theory from Crono Trigger and Crono Cross.
That changed reality has to go somewhere.
I suggest buying or emulating both games. They're on PlayStation network and can probably snag em both for 20 bucks total.
>is no homebrew for this exact reason
I have a similar rule, though it more specifically says that only GM homebrews are allowed, this is based around the reasoning that the GM made the homebrew and the world and would have either balanced it out before making it available to players, or made everything else so equally broken that it would hardly matter.
>premade characters
>make an npc they wanna kill invincible

there's your problem right there - you aren't giving them any freedom. Its clear that from the outset you never intended them to actually be able to affect the world you built in any way but the way you want. They aren't playing their characters, they're playing your characters, so they have no investment in them. They don't care if they die and they can't really do anything. No wonder they want to bail.
>be monk in pf
>suck balls
>complain to Gm I suck balls and I'm meaningless in the party, a rock could fill my place and nobody would realize I'm not there
>Gm lists my features and how I use them in a possitive tone to prove I'm not useless and that I have useful stuff others don't
>Sessions later still sucking balls
>Tell Gm if I not suck balls why I fall unconscious like 5 times more than ther est of the party combined
>Gm lists my features and how I use them in a negative tone to prove why I suck
>"You literally told me weeks ago the same thing but as a prove of why I not suck..."
>"N-bo I didn't"
>Rest of the table looks at him and tells him yes you did
It actually hurt more than just telling me I picked a shitty class, he out right lied to me. And that was like the 3rd and last time I played PF
If they started murdering everyone even before that they had no intention of interacting with the world outside of "murder". Sometimes you need to nudge people if they're doing nothing but trying to kick everything over in a sandbox.

I do feel out of character talk would go better, though.
"Have you tried NOT being murder hobos? Why are you killing everyone?"
I didn't hat to my players once. And they did the Best RP I've ever seen them do.
But they hated it? (MinMax Fags)
Shamefully there is more.
On pic: hyper tesseract sounds like a neat idea, but what do you actually do with it? Just make it an empty maze to get through? I guess it would work for Lady of Pain's mazes.
But they had no freedom even before the game started. They didn't give a shit about playing their characters faithfully because they weren't their characters. They didn't get to choose who they wanted to be, the DM told them who they were.

A huge part of the fun of these games is getting to play the character you want to, do the things you want to and see how the world reacts. If the players didn't get to do that then they'll look for fun in other places, and the number one way bored or frustrated players have fun is by trying to derail the adventure.

I agree that an OOC talk would have gone a long way to resolve this. But the DM trusting the players to have fun their way and improve the story with their choices would have sorted out a lot more.
Is there more? my god this might be the worst game I've ever seen.
>that guy that insist in using manuals and character sheets in a diferent languaje than the rest of the party

this is 5e d&d and fuck, the spanish version of the manual is a terrible translation

>we speak spanish as our main languaje , but every party member is university grade student and every one has either taken courses on english or is a fluent english speaker
>we use english manuals since its way cheaper to import them than to buy the spanish translation (spanish manuals and books cost almost 3 times as much as english ones)
>spanish version of the manual is really imprecise , lots of misstranslations
>there is a metric ton of stuff that doesnt have a literary translation like spell names or some skills so they get half-assed nonsencical names
>its way easier and faster to just say names of skills, spells and abilities in english
>he insist on using spell and skill names on spanish
>no one knows what the fuck he is talking about
>his turns take twice as long than everyone elses bc he always has to search the original name of everything on other people manuals to be able to express himself
>the spanish charater sheet its a fucking misstranslated mess so he spends a lot of time trying to find stuff in it
Are you playing with Hisoka? What a lad.
If these players were good roleplayers, they'd be able to take a premade character and turn it into their own thing regardless.

Unless you think that the way that a character is built determines how one can roleplay as them in the long run.
When searching for linked images, go to archive.4plebs.org/tg/
Go to the post number in question (of the image)
Click on "view same" above the image you want to find more of
Normally you'll find other copies of it. (in this case this looks like it's the first time it's been posted)

If you can't, if it's screencaps of a thread, you can search for the post number in the screencap itself on the archive.

Here is the thread itself.
The idea of That Guy is not limited to RPGs.
After looking over the thread, that's all of that story.
thanks for the advice, and for the link.
My lgs has an entire group of that guy/that gms.
>Be me
>New to game store
>looking for a D&D game
>im in luck! there's a group looking for another player.
>Roll up a wood elf druid
>meet the rest of the party
>Weeb girl playing a "kitsune" barbarian
>she just reskinned a tabaxi.
>she proudly tells me shes 7.5 feet tall and 400 pounds.
>Next guy is Homebrew. He only plays homebrew races as the established races aren't creative enough for him.
>Playing an 8ft tall sentient gorilla wizard
> last guy loves pirates.
>Pirate is playing a warforged fighter who is 7.5 feet tall and weighs 900 pounds.
>He is also the most powerful and feared pirate in the whole world.
>And the gm who clearly had a thing for weeb girl.
>he constantly let them do anything and play any broken homebrew
>while adding in as many 80's cartoon references as he could.
>The sessions mostly consisted of weeb yelling about how she was throwing things at other things and screaming.
>Weeb ripping doors off hinges to use as weapons.
>And weeb trying to be coy and cute saying she was hiding the fact that she was a 7.5 foot tall nine tailed fox.
>Because it embarrassed her apparently
>Pirate trying to suplex every enemy
>And telling everyone we met how he was the most feared pirate captain in the world.
>and Homebrew talking about how Wizards of the coast should hire him to create races for them.
>Because he was SOOOOO CREATIVE.
>And all three trying to make me the party pet because i could turn into animals.
>I quit after 3 sessions
>Session 3 I wild shaped into a squirrel to do some recon at an enemy camp.
>Weeb grabs me throws me into a bag and bashes me against a tree.
>Why the fuck did you do that?
>baka I'm afraid of squirrels nya
>She actually said that in character.
>I left, I was done.
>They still periodically ask me to come back.
>Weeb grabs me throws me into a bag and bashes me against a tree.
>Why the fuck did you do that?
>baka I'm afraid of squirrels nya
Is it bad that the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that she grabbed you and stuffed into a bag before smashing you over a tree?

I don't know, if I was really afraid of something, I'd either get away from it or step on it.
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>Forever DM
>No one to play with
>Make game on Roll20, CoC
>5 applications, 3 flake
>Whatever, maybe need to play D&D 5e again
>Last time was with a bunch of friends
>Make game on Roll20, D&D 5e, Module
>80 applications
>Carefully search the least cancerous ones
>Apply everything I learned in this board to avoid red flags
>Get the players
>Interview them
>So far everything normal
>One week before session
>Player 1 shows up with trannie snowflake water genasi monk
>Player 2 shows up with female rogue snowflake version of dritz
>Player 3 shows up with trap kobold bard who pretends to be a girl but also rapes
>Player 4 shows up with optimized v.human fighter (least cancerous of the group somehow)
>Player 5 shows up with shitty aaracokra cleric
>Session 1
>Everyone spends majority of time referencing anime, making shitty jokes, and saying shit like "wow, just like in critical role" and "What do you mean you haven't watched critical role?"
>End session an hour earlier
>Delete group
>Block everyone

All I wanted was to play something, why is it so fucking difficult to play something?!
>you try to write him out of the party
>he writes the party out of existence


Also you could have easily evaded this by saying his memory fades after his god is saved due to those memorise belonging to a future that no longer precisely exists.
go on, show us the sheets
show us the game listing
show us anything

you can't, can you
>Implying I didn't immediately deleted that shit the moment I ghosted and blocked everyone
Its all gone, and I rather it stay that way.
hahaha you never played jack shit, faggot
fuck off with your fake stories
character sheets or gtfo
>wow, just like in critical role
I fucking hate critical role for this exact reason. Every new faggot that comes to the game store Constantly references that fucking podcast. They usually don't make their own character either. They just copy their favorite character from Critical Role and try to play it. Critical role is the worst thing to happen to role playing games in years.
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Reposting this from a different thread that 404'd

playing Stars Without Number
>Brutal setting and brutal mechanics meant it was a stressful, tough campaign
>faction building was the "end-game" goal
>one of the players is a borderline "That Guy", always boasts about his RP but is a hardcore minmaxer and metagamer, always has to one up the other players including myself and is generally really petty in his play
>throughout the course of the campaign we explore various PC character arcs
>My character, through sheer luck and the skin of their teeth, manages to actually succeed in their personal storyline, literally just luck
>my character then pledges to help That Guy in his personal story
>We go to his homeworld and start his arc
>Due to HIS OWN recklessness and false assumptions about how he imagined he'd just swoop in and handle everything, as well as a good dose of bad luck, the arc is a clusterfuck that ends up being completely aborted, but his character survives
>He has a tantrum and retires his character (the only surviving OG PC next to mine)
>With my PC as the only surviving OG member, the way the narrative leans means that the mantle was passed just to me to found the PC faction (since my character's speciality was inspiring others to join his cause)
>GM calls a timeskip so that we can skip over all the basic faction foundational stuff, I make it clear that I want the other two party members (not including That Guy who would spec up a new character to be introduced after the skip) to be on equal footing within the faction with my PC after this time
>this dude's new PC turns up
>Immediately due to his character and his character's personal story, a series of events unfolds that basically nukes the player faction base we had built
>My character, having literally no reason not to IC, restrains and tries to kill his PC
>That Guy gets mad at me for doing this OOC
>GM calls the session
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>Afterwards another one of the players expresses worry to me privately and that he didn't want to bring this up before
>apparently when he and That Guy were at an unrelated One Shot together, That Guy started complaining about my character in Stars, saying that they were shit, he hated them etc
>The other player disagreed and tried to press him on it but apparently his response was just "Agree to disagree"
>Slightly concerned I bring this up to the third player, who then says actually this gets worse
>Apparently That Guy had said to this third player on a walk home (We're at university and they both live in the same dorm) that his new character was specifically designed to "expose" me and my character and completely "destroy" me as some sort of punishment
>Bring this up to the GM and That Guy, say that having a beef with me like that is just retarded and petty and it needs to be cut out immediately
>GM agrees, That Guy denies all of it and says it was completely unintentional
>Said nuke character retires in the next session and disappears
>He rolls up a new completely unrelated character now that his work is seemingly done
So it's a That DM thread after all??
Better way to handle it: "Oh that's super powerful. Let's make it one per short rest instead."
How did he make that character when you're all making characters together and you don't think he fits?
>I'll just wait until they're born
What do you mean, wait? If you want to just sit around and meditate I'm going to need some wisdom rolls for each (decade, century?). If you go on adventure there's a chance you'll die.
>he manages to change everyone for the better
Why did you let him? If allignment is a thing it's probably something core to their nature, yea?
>we start again at sesion 1...
Fucking terrible idea. Why did you let him do this?
>they can't do it without T...
Why not? Your dungeon design is terrible.
>give time to the guy who left the party
Why? you're encouraging his behaviour. Don't let him leave like that at a crucial moment, and if you think he should be allowed to, skip over it fast.
>kill his character because he cleans too much
Now that's quality GMing.
Get the fuck out, samefag
>5e game just started recently
>set in Ravnica, none of us are very experienced with MtG but we've all at least dabbled
>party comp is dimir posing as azorius, izzet, simic and selesnya
>that guy demands to be Rakdos
>doing even more sabotage to the party's reputation and goals than the Dimir
>refuses to ever act remotely sensible because that's not the Rakdos way
>kills NPCs we try to interrogate to 'mix things up'
I'm about five seconds away from telling the DM to grow a fucking spine and put his foot down rather than just babbling occasional halfhearted 'cmon try to cooperate' shit.
I will say that while I don't have a problem with critical role or the adventure zone, I fucking hate the people who fanboy over them. I'm tired of new gaming groups I join always having a Not!Taako and someone constantly trying to turn the game into a reference circlejerk
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>Hurrr, everyone who dislikes critical role is a samefag!!!
>4 hours of interrupted watching of 5 people playing D&D
>le natty 20 XDDDD
>Random bear noises XDDDD
Do everyone a favor and fucking hang yourself already gargantuan fucking faggot.
I don't get what people like about critical role. I listened to like an hour of it and switched it off. It was just listening to someone's normal ass DnD campaign. At least with The Adventure Zone it's funny and kinda weird.
and yet neither of you have shown any trace that the 80 application game that had interviews and ended up with traps and trannies ever existed except in your own deranged minds while you try bashing anime, critical role and other shit for reverse virtue signalling points
I fucked up, guys. I'm That DM now
>Be me, DM for first campaign
>Campaign has been going on for a little under a year now, a light-hearted, meta campaign set in the Underdark
>Group is doing side quests, this one in particular being about a popular hooligan racer who is causing trouble in a Deep Gnome town based on Daytona Texas after a winning streak in medieval not!Nascar. They were sent to take down his fame so he could be gotten rid of more smoothly, which means they would need to break his racing streak
>Group has an artifact that allows them to call upon an ancient god and ask him for advice, the god being an ancient deity of science that knows of modern day technology for plot reasons (I'll explain in a later post if anybody's curious)
>The players ask the god for a vehicle that 'would allow them to far outpace all other competitors, a machine built in his image'
>Player (OOC): We basically ask him to make us an actual nascar racecar
>I actually let them do it for some retarded reason
(Continued in next post)
I'm surprised they'd have such a bad translation for such a common language, especially when it's easy to find a native speaker to check against.
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>I let them do it... but they have to get some stuff for the god to make the engine, first.
>They're actually able to get all of the resources with ease.
>I introduce the elderly father to the racer, trying to set up drama, as they need to get some blood from his steed to sacrifice to the god of science (it's a really good moisturizer for godly skin)
>They don't really care, are able to convince him to join the race after they tell him the name of the wagon the hooligan uses, and he leaves them with his steed. They then take some of his steed's blood, and go on their merry way
>I then realized that a nascar engine would outpace literally anything in D&D, and that the race would be essentially pointless with that kind of speed
>mfw the two guys on the nascar engine cart beat literally everyone in the race with ease and defeated the hooligan racer before the first turn by shoving an immovable rod inside of his wagon spokes
>mfw the side quest was piss baby easy
>mfw my players now have a get-out-of-jail free card as they can outrun or run over anything in their way
>mfw it's all my fault
They said they loved the quest afterwards, but I feel like it was just kind of cheap thrills, since they actively asked me to skip over the character stuff that was supposed to happen between the hooligan racer and his older racer dad, wanting to get straight to the race. They now also have a nascar engine-powered cart, which could potentially break the game.
What do I do, fa/tg/uys?
>Daytona Texas
Daytona is in Florida.
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>I-I bet it d-didn't happen so its surely n-not critical role's fault!
Shit, you're right, I'm retarded. Then again, if you saw the rest of the post, you would see that's kind of obvious
Where is the Daytona 500?
They cheated
the god of fair play is displeased.
He summons his champion.
Nah, there's a pretty easy way to deal with it. Do a 'dude, where's my car' quest when a gang of Goblins jacks their ride whilst the party is doing errands.
Rust monster
You'll be That DM once more for taking away their toys, but it'll be for the good of the game
Daytona Beach, Florida.
Fake. As. Fuck.
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>still seething
Holy shit are you "Isabel"? Are you mad because I ghosted?
Good roleplaying has nothing to do with ability scores and minmaxing. That's true.

But you're handing those people pre-made characters which they had no agency in creating them with and expect them to bond to those characters.
Creating and thinking about your character during this process makes it a lot easier to dive into them, figure out their flaws and motivations, and so on.

What (You)'re doing is forcing them to play out your shitty novel idea, and trying to railroad them into following your predefined plan with your shitty invincible NPC. And you don't even seem to get that what you're doing is wrong.

In conclusion: you're a terrible GM and it's no wonder that your players don't want to play your fanfic.
>Creating and thinking about your character during this process makes it a lot easier to dive into them, figure out their flaws and motivations, and so on.
And what exactly prevents you from doing so with a premade character at all? If the DM hands you a level X Fighter, you could make their flaws and motivations anything that you want.
>What (You)'re doing is forcing them to play out your shitty novel idea, and trying to railroad them into following your predefined plan with your shitty invincible NPC.
That's an awful lot of assumptions based on nothing anon, you want to talk about something? Maybe something that happened in your group?
That was my first post in the thread. The fact you're hovering over this thread and instantly posting to anyone taking your bait shows that it's just a shitty troll.
He's right though. Why are you so defensive?
He's giving you good advice and not calling you a cunt, which is what I would do.
Thats actually amazing that that happened and isn't a thing to complain about. The world is your oyster when it comes to getting rid of it. Maybe they hit a bump and spin out, maybe the science god wants people to learn about and use the tech too. Maybe them having this amazing device puts a huge target on their heads and powerful magic users begin to step in (they can cast spells and teleport and shit, dawg).
>He's right though. Why are you so defensive?
I'm really not.
>He's giving you good advice and not calling you a cunt, which is what I would do.
His "advice" depends on the assumption that because the DM hands him a premade character sheet, it in turn means that the character itself already has a backstory that has to be played out for the sake of the DM's railroad.

It doesn't have to be that way, and it reeks of the anon suffering from bad memories caused by a DM that he played with (maybe even himself) misusing the concept during their own campaign.
>And what exactly prevents you from doing so with a premade character at all? If the DM hands you a level X Fighter, you could make their flaws and motivations anything that you want.
Nothing. Just that it's EASIER to do when you create your OWN character instead of having to choose from a presumably very limited subset.
Sure, if it's a oneshot you wanna play and people don't actually HAVE characters at hand and you don't want to deal with creating them first, by all means, hand out a handful of balanced archetypes and let the players fill in the blanks.
If not, why are you creating the characters? Are your players too minmaxy for your tastes and you're not able to create challenging encounters for them? The solution for that is to talk about it, not hand them protagonists in your story.

>based on nothing
Based on your history of the post chain. You're an unrepentant cunt, incapable of having the insight that you might be actually in the wrong here. And your last post doesn't do you any favors either.

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>First time DMing 3 Galaxies
>Boomer approachith
>Basic gunslinger build, ok-ish
>Asks for some bionic to handle big bore guns
sure, pretty standard
>Fucking types in leet because keys missing on keyboard
>Wife snoring in background Every game
>Can smell the failure and cheetos thought headset
>Clears house, out damages everyone in the game, gun stun locks enemies making fighting him almost impossible
>wtf, look over character sheet
Boomer gave himself plasma rounds and put it into a fucking kinetic shootguns so as to have the properties of both weapons.
>WTF is this?
>"But anon, you said it's 1000 years in the future. Technological progress anon."
Kicked him out right there and then, in front of the party. Now, whenever I run Rifts, Megaverse, or Galaxies, I openly state my players can use any palladium book. Having DMed enough, I know which builds are absolutely broken, and when a player presents it they get insta-banned.
>Nothing. Just that it's EASIER to do when you create your OWN character instead of having to choose from a presumably very limited subset.
Why is it any easier though? Unless you're playing a classless system like GURPS or Savage Worlds, there's only so many ways you can create a Fighter or a Rogue that's 100% distinct from another character of that class/race combination. We've already established that the mechanics have nothing to do with how you roleplay the character, so why does it matter whether you're given a character vs. making one yourself, especially if you decide to participate in the campaign in spite of it?
>You're an unrepentant cunt, incapable of having the insight that you might be actually in the wrong here.
Again, awful lot of assumptions based on nothing anon, you should stop doing that.
>Why is it any easier though?
Look if you can't understand this you shouldn't be dming.
My DM insisted we play in Planescape, and got incredibly upset when we didn't side with the factions he wanted. I don't like the Dustmen, so I don't want to help the Dustmen. It's that simple.
>Stats and attributes don't matter
>but I still need to make my own characters...because REASONS
So it's clear that you're lying, the only question is which part you're lying about.
>Why is it any easier though?
Okay, I will assume that this isn't just bait at this point.
Putting your own thought and effort into your character makes you bond easier to it. While filling out the ability and skill scores, or whatever they're called in your system, buying the equipment, and so on, you naturally put thought into why the character has this score and why the character owns equipment x instead of y.
If your GM just slaps down a piece of paper, you first have to reconcile yourself with the fact that a) there probably isn't a whole lot of choice in class/race combos and b) you have to read the tract.
Sure, assuming it has no background at this point, you will fill out the blanks, like alignment and so on, but you have naturally put less thought into it than the self-creation method. You will also just have a pre-generated list of stuff you own, some of which you wouldn't have bought, were it your own character.

All of this means: Player choice equals player agency. Take away agency and let your game run on rails, and players will want to have the feeling that choice matters. If you don't even give them choice at character creation, it starts out badly already. Excepting the aforementioned oneshot scenario of "Hey, I've got nothing to do this evening, let's play an RPG"

What you did is first taking away their choice in the characters they play (even disregarding the actual mechanical points you assigned) and when they tried to do something you felt was "bad roleplaying" but they probably thought of as having a bit of fun outside the train (even if not consciously), you took away that choice again by making that NPC you mentioned invincible, because you were frustrated by their behavior, which in turn must have frustrated them.
You're not at a good point there.

But who knows. Maybe your players ARE shit, and you all deserve each other to make your free time miserable.

You might be an actual autist.
Matters because I ain't gonna arpee very well if my GM assigns me a character that I have no desire to play.
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>Putting your own thought and effort into your character makes you bond easier to it.
I see, so the way a character is built does matter, at least we determined where the lie was.
>Matters because I ain't gonna arpee very well if my GM assigns me a character that I have no desire to play.
Sounds like you're a powergamer who needs to learn how to roleplay.
How do you get power gamer from that? If I don't want to be a beefy lizardman warrior who seeks to avenge his wife's murder, assigning me buff lizardman dead wife McGee to play isn't gonna result in enjoyable RP for anyone
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>I see, so the way a character is built does matter, at least we determined where the lie was.
Good to see that my initial feeling about was true, then.

Also, you don't even know what a lie is.

For the rest of the audience: The WAY the character is built doesn't matter. What matters is WHO builds it.
from what i was told, its mostly due to WotC dealings with licencing, i am not sure how it works but the oficial "neutral spanish" its a re-translation of the "Castilian Spanish" version
its basically like if you put a group of australians to translate something from a languaje that isnt taugth at all in their country ,not even in private schools, and then you put a group of people that doesnt understand the common australian Slang to adapt their translation to normal/american english
>How do you get power gamer from that?
Because if you can't build your character to be a very specific way (i.e. broken) then you lose all interest and see them as a collection of random stats and abilities.
>The WAY the character is built doesn't matter. What matters is WHO builds it.
If you were a true roleplayer, you wouldn't even need a character sheet in the first place.
I'm not the guy whose been trying to explain this to you. I'm assuming hes gone out to get crayons to try and make this easier for you. ill explain this as simply as I can. It is easier for players to get into character if they can make the character. I cannot make this any simpler, and until you understand this do not dm.
What the fuck are you talking about dude, I tend to intentionally underpower my characters. I'm just saying I don't want my character's, yknow, characterization to be determined by someone else. Why would I play them if they're not 'my character' to motivate and dictate
He's either trolling or a legitimate full on autist. Both are equally probable on anonymous Himalayan pottery enthusiast image boards.
Either way: not worth answering to.
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Original >>65276469 here. I feel like I should mention why I used premade characters. I made them because the world was so different the characters they made wouldn't have been able to fit in. That and a different guy in the group did a similar big campaign where he used premade characters and no one seemed to have a problem. I talked to the group after to ask what I could do to improve and they said they want to make their own characters.
I wasn't railroading too hard. I simply made it so that they can't do anything drastically out of character. They deliberately avoid the issues at hand and decided to fuck around in the one town they were in.

All of this could've been avoided if they said they had a problem with premade characters.
>I don't age so I'm just going to wait until the rest of the party is born again"
Well played, sir!
Nice work getting defensive when someone shows you made the whole thing up. I know this is a board about make believe but you making up a story about how you are tired of GMing us pretty pathetic, isn't it?
>I see, so the way a character is built does matter, at least we determined where the lie was.
Was this ever even in dispute, obviously a player will be more invested into a character they took the time to actually make.
What a disgusting reality.
I think you might actually be autistic, that or your desperate floundering to defend an undefendable position are taking their toll.
And we're right back to the first reply >>65279736
>there's your problem right there - you aren't giving them any freedom
>I wasn't railroading too hard. I simply made it so that they can't do anything drastically out of character.
you made their characters stats and personalities. it sounds like you're trying to write a book rather than a D&D game. its hard to play a character you had no part in making because everyone puts a little bit of themselves into their characters. if players cant make them they feel alien and its hard to play them. on top of them not getting to do what they wanted to do. Which can help them figure out who their character is. its no wonder they didn't want to play with you.

Remember that one kid at school who would invite you over to his house only so you can sit there and watch him play some video game?
Well that kid is you.

The point of playing DnD is to have fun with friends. Whatever story you have cooked up won't be fun if you have to force them to play it.
You will see your story get butchered and see their unhappy faces looking back at you.
Put your story second, I have been through this before. Trust yourself/imagination to fill in the gaps when they divert. Listen to what they are saying and you will understand what they want.

If you are doing to make premakes to avoid messed up characters then give them only the basics (stats) and a little personality hook. Let them fill in the rest.
Also make more characters and let them choose and pick which one they like. Simply psychology.
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>I'm just going to wait until the rest of the party is born again
wtf did I just read, lawl
Okay, this one I cant believe
>be me, player in 6 man campaign
>playing dnd5e
>roll20 because of midterms and busy school life
>party is level 8 human eldritch knight, homebrewed monster dog girl bard, yuan-ti pureblood munchkin wizard, wacky druid kobol and weird dwarf hexblade
>DM allows some homebrew
>monster girl bard is a complete degenerate
>constantly posts almost naked monster girls in chat
>never wants to play anything in the phb, volo's or mordenkainen's
>always some homebrewed race
>the DM tells him to play something else, comes up with another homebrewed monstergirl
>always female characters too
>yuan-ti and kobold say its fine
>during sessions, they mentioned they come from erp games
>DM doesn't know this
>DM is still pushed into allowing these guys from magic realming

I want to leave but the games are sometimes fun when the DM tries. Sometimes he forgets some rules and throws broken shit at us but at least he isn't trying to magic real us like monstergirl fag and his faggot friends.
>first time DMing M&M
>characters are heavily recommended to cap out their defenses, especially Will for harmful mental effects and Fortitude for physical
>two of the players don’t, against my better judgment i let them play their characters
>the last player buys 10 ranks of Variable, which allows them to do literally anything the game allows

help, the campaign is fun but encounters are super hard to balance.

make enemies too strong and two of the players get cucked, but too weak and the Variable player mows through them.
Split them sometime during the same fight. Have some barrier fall down or something. Then get a higher lvl monster to appear for variable player.

Or make a choke point and have enemies with ranged attacks. So viable has to act as pin cushion.
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More to the story, yes. Thread got pruned by the time I woke up. The campaign itself was pretty dreadful like how my wish was corrupted by the GM and most of the players outright being more villainous than the BBEG himself.
Things sadly haven't gotten any better with that guy in the new campaign. Guy keeps trying to steal his stuff back with his new character from which his old character had stolen from me. Most of the players try to stay out of it at least this time around. Guy still metagames and uses knowledge his old character has though the DM tries to curb it when he can. I'll post a bit of it when I get on my lunch break.
I get it. But if they had a problem with the characters they should've said something. Not decide to ruin the campaign mid-run. I told them they'd be using premades way in advance.

I did make multiple characters. Me and a friend were working on this campaign and we made 8 characters for a group of 4 to pick from.
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You probably answered that in the last thread but ... are you a masochist? Or why are you staying?Is it because of fighter girl?
yeah idk.

Ask them what they want to play first.
Then get each player to pick from an 'unknown box'. Box 1 Box 2 or Box 3.
Then give them the choice between 3 characters.
Put the type of character/s they want into the box before they pick from the 3 characters.
Stress the importance of the choice and encourage people who picked a character they liked.
They will see what they like and feel some degree of fate when they choose it.

Then immediately get them to build on the character in some way.

You can stick with 8 characters you already made, just put the ones they would want them into the correct box the PC chose.

Don't show them this or tell them anything about it. (der)

(though seriously, let them build a backstory or have them make part of it up on first meeting. If you think the adventure is going so terrible from the start then if you can manage it, maybe do a false reset. Say you are doing something new but just re-purpose the start of what you already have)
Honestly from all the stories it sounds like they all hate you, not just That Guy, including the DM, and use the games as an excuse to abuse you via your character. This shit is downright malicious and there is no way your characters will not be used as the butt of this sick in-joke in the future. Extricate yourself now.
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>be me, playing admech at FLGS tourney
>going pretty well, most opponents are alright, quite well adjusted to be honest
>that guy thought
>total dudebro type, incessant "banter", watches commissar gamza and other crud
>insists on calling me toaster humper or servitor
>plays with unpainted greys
>tried to convince me to paint his iron warriors for free
>unrestrained /pol/tard, calls everything he doesn't like "gay"
>I have to play against him tomorrow

Am I facing perturabo?
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No to masochist and fighter girl. You also may be right on the show of dislike. I always imagined it as people simply playing their personas but in hindsight with everyones insight on the retelling of events, it does make more sense that they were simply a malicious group. Luckily with this new group the only common factor would be the fighter and Paladin from the previous game. That guy hasn't changed.

On a less rage inducing story from the new campaign...

>be new PC after that guy fails to blackmail my character which results in my death
>Human Paladin NG because we still need a tank
>am introduced to them as a friend of my dead PC
>of coarse that guy says his character already distrusts me
>big surprise
>DM ties me toward the next questline as I have come to request help with the group
>everyone in group seems excited
>that guy says he wants us to move towards the next city upon hearing this
>"my character doesn't care about this.." says that guy
>majority vote decides to help
>guy clearly seething
>night comes and that guy steals my weapons as I roll poorly on perception
>upon our encounter with the cult I am now weaponless
>guy makes a show of using different weapons in battle
>a halberd(dead PC) and longsword(PC now) despite his lack of proficiency
>I spot that he's clearly using MY longsword
>I allow him to get KO'd by the enemy horde and attempt to defend others
>OOC guy complains as I take back MY sword
>one prolonged battle later
>cult is defeated and guy is still unconscious
>group agrees to investigate/loot before we heal him
>mfw as a group we already know guy is the problem
>doesn't matter since rogue gonna rogue and he steals most of the loot in the end and buys himself a magical item
>Off table most players are starting to hate that guy now
>next session he tries to make it about himself as he consistently cuts people off and even spends nearly an hour shopping/bartering

Upon witnessing the majesty of the nascar engine, every racer/inventor is working day and night to create one of their own.
You now get to set up some team rocket style plots of people trying to steal the engine or just turn the underdark into fantasy flavored mad max/fast and furious
>No to masochist and fighter girl.
Why, then? That game sounds like purest misery.
The players clearly have issues with each other and the GM is unable or unwilling to curtail all this blatant shittery.
Do you just hate your free time?
I'd play that.
I consider myself someone calm and collected, but compared to you I'm a fucking barbarian since I would've commited an first degree murder at this point, godspeed to you bodhisattva anon
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Naivety and desperation

>when we finally get around to moving on with the story we are greeted by a new NPC
>gives us a mission to take said artifact to another NPC within the mountains
>promises us a great reward for our deed
>rogue already wants to steal the artifact and run with it
DM told me off table he had already given guy a warning for trying to derail his campaign and wasn't going to stand for it
>rogue takes artifact but says he will hold onto it since he is the most stealthy
>party begrudgingly agrees
>mfw I realize minutes later that I now have to protect guy with my life
>scene skip
>we're now trying to get past a pest infested swamp with tons of natural dangers and wildlife
>guy refuses to assist in checks in fear that we may let him die
>well at least he has some self awareness
>wizards have to dump some spells to ease our way through
>a couple of encounters and natural traps later we can see the destination point from afar
>guy decides to try to beat us toward the area to claim the prize to himself as he has us beat by 60ft(30ft if you use your action) of movement
>both of our wizards have had enough and nuke him with firebolts
>two turns later that guy goes down
>party wants to leave rogue behind but I decide to stabilize him instead
>perhaps hes finally learned as I carry his unconscious body
>rogue is clearly pissed but says nothing
>we enter and greet NPC whom knows ancient magic
>essentially gives us limited wishes
>mostly everyone request some magic item
>I being the 'newest' member of this group wished to know more about these strangers and asked for their inner most desires and alignment
>everyone except one of the wizards was good including that guy who was Neutral Good
>mfw even with mental gymnastics I still fail to make sense of that guys decisions according to his alignment
Now you'd think after all this he'd actually have learned his lesson. You'd be wrong to believe he did.

Remember: no games are better than terrible ones.
>tfw you're that guy

>be me in a dark heresy game
>role a guardsman from a noble house
>play up all the worst noble tropes
>originally was going to be a coward that ran from fights and shot things from afar
>get punished for it with insanity points
>decide to just go full retard and focus on melee only and being a beserker
>proceed to being a snooty, nobleman that speaks down to his peers until combat happens then proceed to foam at the mouth

>new play enters the game
>roles a nobleman guardsman
>comes from a rogue trader house
>proceed to shit on him nonstop for being a "working" noble
>come to blows in game at one point
>player leaves game
>probably my fault

>now at ascension level
>became a crusader
>tasked with being the party's inquisitor's body guard
>the two characters have hated each other since day 1
>eventually leverage the inquisitors radical status as a reason to elevate my character to interrogator to oppose him.
>make sure the party knows it
I'm sorry everyone
Played a witch once, I got GOBLIN'D infront of the entire table by the GM. It was embarrassing as fuck and I wanted to die. I know this makes me sound autistic, but I really liked that PC and now her getting raped is part of my head-canon
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Perhaps, though some could just be bad because of certain factors. It does get hard to leave bad ones once you've invested so much time into something that started out okay/great.

>couple sessions roll by as that guy tries to make amends for his selfishness with a slight change in attitude and 'gifts'
>these gifts being bought from our own loot, NPC swiped items or stuff he neglected to tell us about
>his expertise in deception and slight of hand+lucky combo makes him godly in fooling us in-character
>party begins to trust him once again as we continue with our adventure
>occasionally rogue disappears from party but usually appears once combat starts or when important information is dropped
>next quest is to run out a random mercenary group from a nearby village
>only recently have they terrorized the place
>we decide to set up out towards our destination and make camp a distance from the village
>use all mid-afternoon to plan and set-up traps for the mercenaries which outnumber us 2 to 1 according to an associate of the rogues whom we also paid to map out the area
>come midnight we attempt to sneak into the village for the first phase of our plan as the rogue scouts
>"all clear"
>we're ambushed and pelted with rocks, bolts, arrows and whatever else they could chuck at us as we roll initiative against a staggering 2 dozen mercenaries
>rogue is held captive as we attempt to fight our way out
>CN Wizard decides to use his only Fireball scroll and self nukes to blast us a way out
>he literally kamikaze'd himself as he is blasted to chunks
>mfw after a couple of lucky rolls and near deaths later we escape back to our camp to find another five mercenaries waiting for us there to attempt to finish us off
>I immediately get taken down from a barrage of hits as I barely hung on from the previous encounter, next round so does the Sorcerer as she was barely holding on with at least 1 HP from a nat 20 death save

>didn't even bother to read T's homebrew rules
Fucking moron.
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Shit that never happened.
Thats gross and the DM shouldn't have done that. You're right to be upset anon.
let me guess - the Rogue betrayed you?
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>at this point its only the wizard vs two mercenaries
>incoming TPK
>however the dice gods say otherwise as they roll below a 10 as the wizard takes out one with a shocking grasp and uses his last spell slot to cast shield, on what would have been the mercenaries finishing blow
>the wizard disposes of the final mook and stabilizes our remaining party
>as soon as we can we move as far away as possible
>next session we arrive back to the city to regroup, assuming we should allow dead wizardbro and rogue to introduce their new characters
>wizard is now playing a decked out barbarian with an admittedly bad irish accent and stereotypical traits
>rogue however says that his character comes through the door as his original character
>says he got away as soon as they chased after us
>visually not a scratch on him
>insight check
>roll a 6
>oh well
>now newly restocked we create a new plan on the way
>fast forward
>mercenaries are no longer in village
>after a couple questions with the villagers we head back to turn in our quest
>quest giver NPC is nowhere to be seen
>we ask rogue where his scout was as we suspect him of playing us
>he is also nowhere to be seen
>we essentially spent two sessions on this arc with no lead up as to what and how this happened
>DM tells rogue to recheck his sheet as there are some changes
>my guess was his alignment changed and DM made it official
>mfw OOC I could have prevented this if I had let that guy die
Little did I know that the other players were thinking of a better alternative towards remedying the situation.

>Comeuppance for the Depression Quest That Guy.

I honestly don't give a shit if this is real or not. Im more invested in this guy getting fucked up then I am in my own campaign.

I really hopes it ends with him getting punch ooc.
I was there when you first posted. I want to feel bad for you but at this point I just cant anymore. Action needs to be done. Do you need a game to join? I'm running a short couple session campaign for a group of 5 online, and I wouldn't mind having another player. I've been a DM for almost 2 years now so not the oldest, but I just can't sit here and listen to this story anymore anon please
>next session begins and barb immediately reintroduces himself to everyone but especially pays mind to that guys character
>how he came from nothing, his way of life, stuff of that sort
>states how he hates criminals and thieves since they are worse than scum in his society as they only to serve as leeches
>sharing in vivid detail how he's castrated and killed a few in his time
>That guy being THAT GUY see's it as a challenge as he rolls intimidation and says he tries to scare the barb
>rolls an 18
>DM asks the rogue how he scares him
>"you know DM with an 18 intimidation"
>DM proceeds to describe to the barbarian how the rogue begins drawing an intimidating number 18
>barbarian jokingly rolls an intelligence check to see if he knows how to count to 18
>rolls a 4 and says he doesn't even know what numbers are and ignores it
>that guy complains that barb bro isn't playing his character correctly since he ignored his intimidation
>wizard comes back from his personal trip and informs us of possible quests
>an hour later we decide to find employment with the local elvish lord
>says he wishes for us to transport his daughter to her mother in the next town
>will pay handsomely
>obviously agree as we prepare a cart and provisions for the trip
>now ready we finally get a glimpse of the daughter
>DM describes her as somewhat modestly dressed caramel skinned elf with a bombshell body
>not pic but that is as close as it gets
>my character is celibate, wizard is obviously wizard, barbarian is happily married, sorcerer ???
>a couple of miles later
>the rogue has been chatting up a storm and been trying to impress the daughter to no ones surprise
>daughter whom has been sheltered all her life and is easily amused by many things and heroic tales
>as the sun begins to set we all begins to gather around the campfire and share a couple rounds with the bottles of cheap wine the wizard had bought in the city

Go on...
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I wouldn't mind joining but I doubt our times will align. I mostly work and any free time I usually have is already occupied.

>all are intoxicated outside of the sorcerer and myself
>most head to bed as the rogue and daughter stay up a few minutes longer by the campfire until heading off to bed
>a few hours pass as my shift ends but DM then asks me to roll perception a second time
>I suddenly hear a scream coming from the daughters tent as I and the sorcerer rush over
>The DM describes us finding a mildly awakened, in the nude rogue in the daughters tent with her in tears
>says she was confused and somehow ended up sleeping with the rogue
>That guy of coarse spergs but we mostly ignore him as the DM and party continue
>I immediately tell the sorcerer to wake the others as I drag the rogue and tie him up
>"I resist and run away!"
>"Roll a grapple check at disadvantage guy"
>"you're drunk guy, what did you expect?"
>rogue rolls a nat 20, a natural 3 and is out of lucky dice since he used them on his charisma checks with the daughteroo
>roll an 18 and pin the rogue down as I tie him down and drag him to the middle of the camp
>soon everyone is gathered at the campfire and is questioning the situation
>mfw all this chastising against the rogue gives me a moment of dejavu - "omg anon why would you do that?!"
>all the while the daughter is in tears as she proclaims she had no control of herself
>wizard proceeds to remind the barbarian of his initial introduction to how he dealt with said individuals
>rogue whom at this point has been failing his 'every 6 seconds I try to break free and flee' check finally passes but must immediately roll initiative as the barbarian goes into a rage
>guess this is happening
>one pointless battle later the rogue is left battered, bloodied but still breathing as I stabilize him to get his side of the story in a proper manner

We have a discord server that has people from all different types of timezones. If ours doesn't align with you, feel free to grab a couple from there who can match your time for a game. It's very laid back. Whats your timezone?
You better not have stopped there
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>get invited to friend's 5e game
>second time playing it
>setting is a big isolated city, but plenty of races around
>roll a Kenku Wizard
>doing well and having fun mimicking noises, but communicating is hard because the DM thinks Kenku can’t talk, only mimic sounds and make gestures
>kind of a real problem since my kenku is the only one not braindead and able to follow clues and get more information
>gives me a bit of trouble and GM throws me an item where I can flip a coin to cast message 50% of the time to help with communication
>think we're doing great
>we take a quest (that later he told us was for much higher leveled characters, but honestly we should have seen it coming) and make some mistakes
>suddently near TPK because he threw a bunch of dire wolves at a low level party because we solved a puzzle
>sure, that shit happens, don't dwell on it and go on
>reroll a Halfling Wizard this time
>GM tells me after I make my character that he banned their lucky trait
>didn't tell me when I picked the race
>doesn't give me back anything to compensate
>already a bit mad but keep playing character, the background was really good and I enjoy roleplaying the uppity noble
>end up dying in another encounter (3 bugbears with +1 armor and weapons vs a party of me, a fighter, a barbarian and a bard, all level 3) after a enemy drops me in one hit and another player rolls a 1 in medicine
>tells me he will let me back and ressurect me this early since I died so recently
>agree to it, doesn't tell me details
>druid NPC bought me back and as a favour one of my levels is on druid
>get a bunch of class features that I can barely make use of and destroys my character concept
>decide to put up with it and notice how much this puts me behind the party
>ask him about changing back
>nah, but if you’re not happy, feel free to roll a new character
>ask him about rolling new character
>sure, but you lose all the loot so you'll be behind the party anyway
Have you tried not playing D&D?
I have. I also play Nechronica and Hackmaster.
>mfw even with mental gymnastics I still fail to make sense of that guys decisions according to his alignment

These types of people (including the DM) don't tell the truth. They also don't have an objective moral standard.
What happens is they call themselves 'Good' and then anytime they do something it is 'Good' even if the act itself was evil. They are allowed to hide within the 'Good' alignment to do bad things.
Such this mindset of the modern day Leftist.
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Kind of sounds like Adventurers League. My timezone is EST.

>wizard and barb suggest that I assist in consoling the daughter since I'd probably be better at that than either of them.
>roll insight but fail to notice any ulterior motives plus wizard bro has never given be reason to not trust him
>I agree
>obviously OOC I knew what was about to happen
>barb and wizard describe how they painstakingly torture the rogue from a distance to gather 'information' from him
>DM asks guy to roll but he refuses to be a part of this
>DM rolls for him anyways as he fails and starts singing like a canary during the torturing process about all of his thievery, conspiring and blackmail
>Guy says he would never say that but DM explains that he should have rolled if that were the case
>wizard and barb say they are finished with torturing him
>the group as a whole is explained the situation and how the rogue has essentially been conspiring against us this whole time
>rogue tries to roll deception but that guy as a player is incapable of forming a coherent argument as he consistently goes back to "BUT MUH HIGH ROLLS DM"
>after all this my character is enraged to know that the rogue was the cause of my friends death
>how it explains why he would have his halberd in his possession
>barbarian at this point says he is irredeemable and holds him down onto a slab of granite as he gestures me to behead him
>nod but instead request he be knelt down
>I ask DM if I may take a few minutes first to pray aka prepare spells
>I tell DM I cast Divine Sense and Detect Good and Evil
>DM says nothing happens but I instead say I sense the evil coming from the guy, confirming my suspicions of him being a blasphemer
>as I lift the halberd, readied to smite his head off, I tell the rogue "Be grateful for the All-Father's mercy" as it comes down and slices his head off
>mfw afterwards I loot his body

Seeya tomorrow anons.
Reminds me of a session I had 2 weeks ago. My character was occupied, but my party was interrogating someone they had just captured in a Zone of Truth. Our "good" rogue, who failed the save, was torturing the captive, but said he'd let him go if he gave up the information. He did, then the rogue goes to immediately stab him, claiming he meant to the afterlife. The game relies on you informing at least the DM of your intent here.
The dude is a torturing murderer who uses a hallucinogenic poison to basically scarecrow people, but he insists he's neutral good when pressed.
I'm EST too. Just ask if you'd like a link
I hope after this he was kicked. I'm glad you had a happy ending anon.
Was it at least a fade to black?

Either way that's a big red flag
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>he'd let him go if he gave up the information. He did, then the rogue goes to immediately stab him, claiming he meant to the afterlife.
> but he insists he's neutral good when pressed.

I think it might be due to a lack of religion. Religion gave people to have an objective 3rd person stand point. It allowed people to be judged independently of themselves.
A person could be judged bad even if he was the most powerful person in the land.

Without this anchor peoples role in life becomes how to tell if they are good or not.
A person could lie and steal and cheat but they can get away with so long as they gloated about that one time they took a trip into a poor place and helped some poor people in the eyes of the public and themselves they would be good.
I have noticed in DnD similar people seem to take 'Good' as a type of credit system. They do 'Good' actions so later they can pull the finger nails out of a tortured NPC. They do good so long as they are free to choose evil when they feel like it.

A decent DM might start to keep a simple a tally of all the good or bad things a player has done.
I think I have to start doing this myself, a female PC has a 'Chaotic Good' character. If she doesn't want to slip into Chaotic Neutral she'd better continue being mostly Good.
Alignment is more of a Description of a character, not a Prescription for their actions.
I hope you realize now how terrible of an idea that is on a variety of levels
Man, all these stories are exactly why I've never played in a game where anyone uses a race outside of what's in the PHB. All these kenku, aasimar, snowflake whatevers are always signs of a bad character. It can be done well, yes, but only when the player and DM cooperate to play and mold the game around what makes those characters different than normal ones. Otherwise, you end up with the DM throwing their hands up at how the player can do retarded bullshit, for good or ill, all the time.
Nah anon, youre not autistic. Your DM might be though. Id feel the same way in your position.
Based. So did he actually convince the princess to sleep with him? A little confused on that part but i appreciate the good story anon
>get a tranny gm
>they're actually a good gm
>but they let freaks into the game that make playing with the rest of the group a chore
>get into some homebrew 5e game on roll20
>the moment the gm adds me as a friend, he invites me to an unplanned session 0
> "Uh, okay."
>everything seems to be going well until this, presumably trans, player starts speaking
>replaces every "L" and "R" sound with a "W"
>says they cant make the first session because they have job but, since they're a minor, there shouldnt be any issue later
>has a barbarian that will kill anyone who "touches their teddy bear"
>gm seems to ignore them and continues to explain their world, how shit works and the politics behind all the kingdoms it has
>everyone finishes making characters and we get to scheduling
>gm suggests we start on tuesday despite everyone saying tuesday was a bad day for them
>the gm immediately kicks us from the discord, but leaves us in the roll20 game
>tranny player types something like "Wow, this is the third time this has happened to me, guess im not playing dnd ever..."
>me and everyone else wish each other the best of luck and leave
>afterward i talked to my main group about it and apparently this kinda stuff is common
What? Why is it embarrassing? It's just a story. Sometimes bad shit happens. Grow up, ffs.
Not him but do you guys play anything besides 5e?I'd be interested if so
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Fuck this shit and raping DMs. I made a qt female fencing character for the first fucking time and the DM rapes her on session one with a bunch of goblins and wolves in LMoP. The rest of the party escaped or was killed in the fucking cave, but her? Nah, she is a wolf cum bucket now.
You aren't the target demographic.
Introduce a trickster racer that always goes a bit faster than the person in the lead. Only way to beat him is to turn all the carts so he goes at the speed of the slowest vehicle.
>scheduling this late in the progress
At least you've all learned a lesson.
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>Dragon flies high above us and assumes a posture that our DM tells us makes it clear it's going to dive bomb the wagon we're standing on
>Basically, this is being treated like a raid boss's ultimate and we have the option to simply use our turn to get the fuck out of the way
>Everyone does except That Girl, who readies a second level psionic power instead
>Dragon hits her, she activates her power: It transfers up to 1D6 points of damage per manifester level from her to the dragon
>She mistakenly believes this can scale infinitely because she's too stupid and lazy to actually learn the systems she plays
>We explain that since her manifester level is currently 5 she transfers 5D6 points of damage
>The dragon has fallen a massive distance and weighs a ton
>That Girl's best friend and roommate That Guy starts frantically looking up any rules and class features he can because he knows That Girl's character is about to die
>That Girl and That Guy spend TWO FUCKING HOURS arguing with our DM, who has now become That DM by dint of being too much of a pussy to put his foot down sooner
>Final verdict after two hours of spectacularly childish arguing: Even after the power deducts 5D6 points of damage, That Girl's character still takes 15D6 points of damage and dies
>Respect for DM at an all time low
>I can do it at will!
>GM powers, you’re now limited to thrice a day. Seems fair enough for a get-out-of-jail card. Roll a d20, 18 or more and you can’t rematerialize immediately.
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>at least you've learned a lesson
i suppose. i have a "main group" ive been playing with for around 3 years now, but i wanted to get into another game. thankfully another gm messaged me a few hours after that happened and i got into their game instead. that's just how it is with finding groups. it helps that 5e games are a dime a dozen. there's so many available compared to literally any other system. it's sad, honestly.
I feel like a "are you sure?" Or "btw it doesnt work like that" would be prudent.
If they still go for it then by all means they die an idiots death
Vampires turning into mist is one of their most inconic and common traits even in D&D, as in; since their fucking inception. In fact, they turn into mist as a free action when they get brought to 0HP.

It's not even a powerful ability, he can get through traps no problem but what about everyone else?
I suppose I did leave that part out, but the DM warned her that she was going to die if whatever she was planning didn't work perfectly. If that's not sufficient warning, there can be none.
It bothers me to no end that the math in that pic is wrong and that it can be done correctly in a much, much easier way with a few index cards.
Tbh the only reason I can’t believe it is the idea of one of those autists being able to competently paint an SS themed IG army is patently false
>player learns there are indeed consequences for his actions
>gets mad because that’s not how it works in Skyrim
Genuinely my favorite kind of story
>25▶>>65273225 >>65277430 >>65284878 >>65291109
>>>65267679 (OP)
>>"That Guy"
Nice copy paste anon
>k I'm done. gg erryone kthxbai.

You are one of the greatest players that's ever lived. Okay that's a bit of an exaggeration but you are far outnumbered by a legion of KEKS that would've rolled up another character and continued to be abused.
NASCARs are made to run on flat, even ground.
The thing can and will shake itself apart trying to tear through the underdark
And that’s if -
>a rock, bump, or deformity doesn’t fuck the wheel and/or axle
>NASCAR tyres are rated for less than 1 race a piece, running full slicks on the streets gives you a shelf life measured in weeks if not days
>it’s an imperfect clone so the engine and trans aren’t as solid as a modern NASCAR, meaning -every- time they open up the throttle you roll a critical failure check, with the bottom end increasing as time goes on (they don’t roll a 1 but next session they have to not roll a 2 and so on and so forth)
Don’t feel too bad, cars aren’t invulnerable and racecars, while durable, aren’t made to be continually used.
And these are all things that can happen to actual nascars in races (losing wheels, axles, shitting transmissions or engines) and I think we all know how often tyres are replaced (life is measured in laps)
The players simply won’t be able to maintain that kind of vehicle on the move. They’d have to push it to the next gnome settlement and wait for the god to give them instructions to fix it every other session
>it helps that 5e games are a dime a dozen. there's so many available compared to literally any other system. it's sad, honestly.
Yes, and the descriptions make me not even want to apply.
When I actually FIND a game in my time zone (and I vastly prefer other games than 5e) it's usually either completely rambling in terrible spelling, a weird-ass homebrew with no concept, or something something sexy times.

Guess I'll stay forever GM
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>Playing Edge of the Empire
>Roboticist/Cybernetist that specializes in Melee Combat
>Swol as fuck
>Third time ever as a player, but 15 years GMing
>Great party, love everything about the campaign
>10 months later
>Chad Thundercock has to leave to move cross-country, he is dearly missed.
>GM brings new guy to the table
>New guy is THAT guy
>THAT guy plays the most snowflake of deeplore races just to be special
>18 page fucking backstory
>no one reads it
>his character is 1 point better than me in everything I do except combat as he's a pacifist.
>he derails the campaign hard, turning it from hunting space pirates to playing Elite Dangerous single-player mode levels of space trucking and a whole bunch of fucking nothing
>Literally aruges for two hours with the GM about how each planet should have a listed price for space-gas so he can plan the most optimal and profitable path.
>Gives everyone 8 page worksheets explaining his "space trucking riches program" to get us rich in one in-game year.
>I can't do fucking shit since he won't let me skill check since he outskills me, and he won't let us start any fights because "we're a peaceful expedition"
>GM keeps trying to throw threats at us
>That guy keeps running away from them, jetesenning the cargo and rewriting his fucking shit plans instead of fighting like a man

>a month passes
>(HK47) "Can we fight something now, we didn't sign up for space trucking"
>HK-47 quits the campaign due to that guy's innane faggotry, I was sad he had to leave
>everyone is fucking miserable and never get to do anything

Well, I've actually seen at least three of those. Either Krieg or Orcs. And the players were all full-on idiots who couldn't understand why they were thrown out of the FLGS the minute they unpacked their armies.
The rest sounds a lot exaggerated, though, if not outright invented.
That’s fair, I don’t have any more than anecdotal experience
I just feel personally attacked because being 22 and trying to explain to your peers why the idiot on FB posting unironic imperial guard propaganda isn’t even, 1% of an already niche hobby that’s mainly there to shoot dice, not Jews.
Poor dice, though. What did they ever do to you?

Don't worry, it's normal that 22yo peers are idiots.
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>that guy just whittles chainmaille at the table and tells us to follow his plan
>I suggest buying our way out of the trade contract explaining it in a simple paragraph
>that guy suggests the exact same plan to extend our contract and takes 3 pages to explain it
>I spent that month reading his back story
>"literally the most wanted illegal droid manufacturer in the entire outer rim"
>massive fucking bounty
>my character is a bounty hunter
>begin laying plans

>couple weeks later
>he's alone in the ship ordering him around
>everyone else is out shopping
>I just down a notecard and pass it to the GM

>"Do not flip over until he's in the airlock gloating"

>Being borg I have a vibroknife in a hidden wrist compartment in my right arm, left arm is full conversion with wristblaster - I'm shit at aiming though
>also have a jetpack and mandalorian armor
>(Me) "Hey fuzzball, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot, instead of butting heads we should work together, I mean I read in the application letter you sent us that you're quite wanted, surly you could have use of someone with a similar skillset to act the part of you in public so as to avoid suspicion."
>(T) "You know, that is the first smart thing you've said, that's a wonderful idea, now I never have to leave the ship and you have something to do, everyone wins!"
>(Me) "Yup, everyone wins."
>roll dice
>(Him-OOC) "What're you doing?"
>(Me) "Succeeding you. That's 9 incoming damage with a +90 crit from the vibroblade that drops from my wrist and is going straight for the back of your neck"
>(T) "WTF, you can't kill other players!"
>(Me) "Uhh, excuse me, this is a ROLE playing game, my character's role is that of a bounty hunter, if you just want to do space trucking all day by yourself while everyone around you doesn't give a shit, maybe you should go home and play EVE Online."
>that guy is visibly red and looks like he's going to start foaming at the mouth

>(T)"Well you can't hurt me like that!"
>(Me) "Why not?"
>(GM) "Yeah, why not?"
>(T) "My 360 degree protection droid activates and blocks it!"
>(GM) "That doesn't work on surprise attacks."
>(T) "It's not a surprise, I knew he was up to something!"
>(GM) "You didn't seem to-"
>(Me) "It's fine, his shield blocks my blade, now what, are you going to fight back?"
>(T) "Fuck no, I'm getting off this shuttle, reporting your mutiny and insubordination, and getting you arrested, maybe even executed, then keeping your share of the ship as mine!"
>that guy runs through the ship
>I obviously follow and put on a show of making a chase, shooting and missing repeatedly because I suck at ranged combat
>we get to the airlock that leads out of the ship
>(T)"Ha, I outran you, I won, and do you know why? Because I'm smarter than a stupid 'hit with stick' dolt like you, I have larger ambitions, greater plans, more complicated goals, people like you shouldn't be roleplaying, you should be grinding away at Diablo!"
>(Me)"You think you got away?"
>(T) "Are you dumb, I reached the airlock and you're too far behind me to stop me, I exit the ship, and report you, I won!"
>(Me) "No, you don't exit the ship."
>(T) "Yes I fucking do!"
>(GM) "...Actually no you don't."
>(T) "Nani the fuck?"
>GM holds up notecard

Oh hey, someone who never played a role playing game.
Good effort, but lacking in the details. D+, lurk more.
>Poor dice, though. What did they ever do to you?
Never land on successful results
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>reads out every single possible outcome before rolling the dice every single time

Why do you say that?
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>GM Reads the card out loud
>Card: "I attempt to assassinate the fuzzball, he complains about party killing or some such, I throw his 'but I'm ROLE-playing' comment back at him, he claims his 360 degree shield can protect him from surprise attacks (it can't) but I'll concede the point. During my diversion chat, my droid has cloaked as is rigging the airlock exit with HKs disruptor torpedo, set to detonate via thermal detonator. I will also have him quick-weld the exit shut, not a good weld, but enough to buy me a minute. Fuzzball will run instead of fighting back, as with his munchkinry he knows I outclass him in combat, and he knows I don't use ranged weapons, staying out of range he'll undoubtedly run outside to call the authorities on me. Being the thespian he is, he'll stop to gloat in the airlock, at this point we'll seal him in, droid will uncloak, and we'll blow his ass to hell. On my sheet you'll find the financial calculations that leaves the rest of the party financially stable. I'd like to use my share of his bounty to buy a firespry and go bounty hunting with or without the party.

>(T) "BUT... BUT... BUT..."
>(Me) "What's wrong? Outsmarted by a 'hit with stick dolt'?"
>that guy goes into a complete sperfest of a rage
>throws GMs custom minis off the table in rage
>throws his iced tea on the gamemat
>(Me) "Not fair like having one guy come in and change 7 other peoples games to the point of driving half of them away because they're such an unbearable and insufferable sped they're incapable of functioning unless everything fits their exact demands?"
>(Me) "Like how you rendered mine useless by edging me out of every field I spent 9 months building towards, then forcing the campaign to be non-combative so the one advantage I had was rendered useless? Maybe next time you won't take shots across the bow if you don't want fire returned."
>(T) "I QUIT!"
If his god is revived, he has no reason to get a wish to revive his god. We're clearly operating under Back to the Future time travel rules.
If you really were a 15 year GM you'd have some experience on how to deal with problem players.
Hint: it involves talking.

You'd also know that the DM decides for rolls, not a player who is one point better in each skill.
How was he able to hijack all your shit and force you to play his space trucking sim?
Why did your GM not stop all this?
Why did your GM, who brought his friend to the table suddenly take your side?
Why did the rest of your group just go along with all this?
Why did your GM allow PVP instead of talking?
How did your GM not inform TG that HE decides if he's surprised, not the player?

Nope, I'll take shit that never happened for 500.
This being said, your writing is marginally amusing, keep at it and you'll get better.

On a side note: Never actually play a game until you have learned to communicate your grievances out of said game, instead of planning passive-aggressive murder plots for fictional situations.
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First time trying to post a thread of it on /tg/ after my friends insisted I share the story.
I've been playing for 20 years and GM'ed near exclusively for 15. This event happened over a year ago now and was the first and last time I've played Edge of the Empire.

I mostly run M&M3e, WoWRPG, WFRP2e, IKRPG, and Savage Worlds these days.
Been reading into Witcher and Wrath & Glory. Sadly the former is an unorganized mess and I can't find anyone interested in the latter.
>You'd also know that the DM decides for rolls, not a player who is one point better in each skill.
GM allows one roll per task, problem player would shout that he had the better numbers so he should roll, GM's wife is also a munchkin so she agreed with the asshole.

>How was he able to hijack all your shit and force you to play his space trucking sim?
GM was a bit of a pussy (400lbs, his spine is clearly jelly) so whenever that guy started an argument, GM would get tired of it and roll over and let him win.
>Why did your GM not stop all this?
See above.
>Why did your GM, who brought his friend to the table suddenly take your side?
He was more "a guy we knew" than a 'friend', and after everyone grumbling about being bored and wanting to quit and being generally tired of this guys shit, the campaign was effectively dead.
>Why did the rest of your group just go along with all this?
I'd like to say "Because he's an autist and this is california - can't tell him 'no' after all." but more likely his wife went along with it because she got her snowflakey dream character and could play on her phone all session, my fiance was there because we share a car, I was there because I wanted to get things back on track, and the others quit previous to this event due to his toxicity.
>Why did your GM allow PVP instead of talking?
We tried talking, it was met with autistic screeching, see "can we fight things?" from HK

>How did your GM not inform TG that HE decides if he's surprised, not the player?
Again, GM is a pushover.
>Again, GM is a pushover.
On the remote chance that your story is true, then you all are.

>Never actually play a game until you have learned to communicate your grievances out of said game, instead of planning passive-aggressive murder plots for fictional situations.
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I've had other bad players before but their stories aren't as interesting.

Special snowflake tranny that played a 9'0" elf-hellbred bard committing abhorrently evil acts in D&D and saying "but CHAOTIC good means I create my own rules of what's good and evil, and I say all kobolds are evil, so there's nothing wrong with kicking their shit in!" when I threatened dragging them back to hell and insisting I already gave them enough leeway with their stupidass character.

A dragonborn munchkin deciding to one-shot his own party members because "he got bored" then having a scream-fest when I told him "no you don't, now leave the table", then spammed me on every social media he could find about how *not* mad he was.

another tranny sperg flipping their shit and breaking the table because they got their character killed by being an idiot. For the fourth time in a row. ...Actually that one would be funny, the rogue that dies climbing rope, rerolls a cleric who dies trying to turn a shade, rerolls a druid that gets mauled by a bear.

and a girl who would powergame and pump up her cleavage whenever you tried telling her no. "I don't care if this is a thorp with only 50gp in circulation, the book says I can sell my spells at 50gp per cast per level, so before I go to bed I sell my remaining spell slots and gain 450gp"

Those four and the above detailed one are the only noteworthy instances of bad players I've had. Rest are typically "I play anime video game character copy/paste as my original M&M character", those are less bad and more uncreative.
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I was That Guy.
>DM had all of our rations stolen by hungry peasants in the middle of the night.
>Miles away from the next down.
>I had my character literally shit into a bowl
>And piss into a jug
>Then I cast prestidigitation on everything to make my shit taste like chocolate pudding and my piss like lemonade
>I laughed
>The DM laughed
>We high-fived
>Dumb frogposter
Explains everything.
>On the remote chance that your story is true, then you all are pushovers
Honestly we kinda were, I wanted to try and get us back on track so I'd like to say I was more stubborn, but I should have been more strict given how my character was effectively replaced.

>Never actually play a game until you have learned to communicate your grievances out of said game, instead of planning passive-aggressive murder plots for fictional situations.
Oh we tried, at least HK and I tried. I'm trying to avoid real names so I guess I'll say Italian-Pizza and Asian-to-Go both decided to ignore the situation and just play their PSPs until something interesting happened. GM just wanted to say yes to everyone so that didn't work out when saying yes to one guy meant saying no to everyone else. HK was the first to really put his foot down, but instead of demanding the other guy get kicked he just quit because he was tired of dealing with it. And I tried to get us back on track, the sperg just wouldn't budge. It was either his plan to a tee or "you just don't have to play" even though he was the new one. I explain my character and how he's edging me out "that's a shame, GM said I could make whatever I want", I try explaining the rest of us aren't having fun "well you should play diablo if you just want a combat grinder, we're here to roleplay." So I was obviously a bit pissed with this holier than thou fuck.
Nobody cares about your politics, retard.
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>>DM asks the rogue how he scares him
>>"you know DM with an 18 intimidation"
>>DM proceeds to describe to the barbarian how the rogue begins drawing an intimidating number 18
Why the fuck didn’t that guy leave the game? He obviously wasn’t wanted.
there's only rule that makes homebrew work: it's continued use is at the discretion of the GM. The GM has the right to revoke use of the home brew at any point within the campaign, even mid session.
Jesus he was really mad.
Here's something as some sort of change of pace.

>It's Easter time.
>Extended family is gathered at my house for celebrations.
>It's after lunch, the older kids are bored out of their skulls, and, sinceI'm the "Tabletop Games Guy" of the family, I'm invited to entertain them with a simple enough boardgame.
>I gather my cousins around and ask them if they'd like to learn a new game, or if they want to go for the classics.
>They decide that they want to play Risk!, so I pick up the box and set it on the table in the game room.
>As I do a card and dice check, I hear a gruff voice speaking up, saying "Can I join?"
>It's him.
>It's the ultimate Risk! grognard.
>He calls Risk! the "perfect boardgame", and calls every other one a stupid sohpistication.
>He wants everyone to play the way HE wants to play.
>It's… ANON'S DAD!
>I cringe at the mere idea of what was going to happen, but, since I have no way to shoo him away, I sigh and accept his self-invitation.
>Color picking goes well enough, but, as soon as we get to objective distribution, there are problems.
>As soon as everyone has seen their objective cards, he asks if I've removed the "Conquer 24 territories" objective.
>I lie and say yes.
>One of my cousins innocently tells him that, actually, he has it.
>My dad grumbles and orders us to reshuffle the objectives without that card.
>The game actually starts.
>He goes for his usual "Australia First then build-up" strategy, everyone else has actually fun, conquering and losing territories quite often.
>He's already huffing about it, but at first he says nothing.
>Then, there's the breaking point.
>The cousin who had picked Red was attacking from Japan the one who had picked Green in China.
>He was attacking with 12 tanks, she was defending with 8.
>"No! What are you doing?" he shouts
>"Uh, attacking? Isn't there a dotted li-" Red answers.
>"No, not that! You're almsot even, don't attack, you're going to lose!"
>"No, you don't get it! I mean, look at my territories, how many tanks do you see?"
>He points at Indonesia, by now he had something like 35 tanks in there, the nly reason for why he wasn't rampaging in Asia was because I had predicted his strategy and wanted to ensure my cousins could actually enjoy the game, and basically created a 20-something army in Siam.
>"But you jsut put tankies over and over again in there!"
>"That's how you're supposed to play! Build up your army for turns and turns and then attack! That's what Risk! is all about".
>I roll my eyes and faceparlm as he keeps on ranting at how my cousins "don't understand strategy at all" and "are way too rash" and "ruin his games".
>I decide that arguing over what he was doing was better done elsewhere.
>"Hey, you know what? I'm tired of this game. Why don't we play some PAndemic?"
>My cousins, who had started to be upset, say "yes" and start unpacking Risk! right away.
>He screeches that the game is in German and that it's complex for anyone to play and that I wanted to play it just so I could cheat.
>My cousins weren't having any of it (I had taught them how to play after all) and ignored his bitching.
>We go pick up Pandemic, play two games, then it's time for my cousins to go away.
>Once it's all said and done, I talk to my father about wht he was doing and why it was wrong.
>"But that's literally the point, what's the fun in playing that way?"
>And then he wonders why I don't like him joining any Risk! games I might play with normie friends.
I mean he's not wrong. The obvious solution here is not to play Risk.
Only way to win the game of Risk! is not to play at all... how long it took us to find this out!
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Get out of here, Darth Ulthron.
what fucking time zone are you in? im assuming not any of the NA timezones, yeah?
im so sorry
Mechanics have a big impact on how you roleplay your character. Class, race, skills, and feats all affect how your character interacts with the world. Class influences backstory. You have to have some justification for why your character knows magic or swordplay. Some backstories for Wizards won’t necessarily be a good fit for Fighters and vice versa. Race also impacts background, since each race’s culture leaves a mark on how their personality and outlook developed. Race shapes NPCs’ reactions to your character as well. A half-orc or a Tiefling won’t meet such a positive reception as other races for example. Skills and feats alter the ways in which characters go about solving problems. If a player has a specific character they want to act out, they’ll probably enjoy it more if they get to fine tune the sheet themself to make it better fit the story they want to tell.
I feel your pain brother. After three years of attempting to find, and/or establish voice/text group in the GMT+0/1/2 I simply gave up. While I try to not shit on the people unable to learn English as main communicating language (since, I too have problems with pronunciation as I mainly communicate in written form), the GMT+0/1/2 is cursed.

>Every session will turn into geopolitical debate with fedora tipping
>Ideologies/mindset clashing, unable to put it down for one session
>Slavic screeching
>Germans shitting on Franks
>Franks shitting on everybody
>Mediterrian trolling
>Balkan *noise*
>British mumbling (for fuck sake, they invented the language, but nobody seems to speak it there!)

I literally had two players bickering about conflict between their countries from seventeenth century. On other hand, it was somewhat funny to see how two players, living no more, than 200 km from each other, had so other culturally based interpretation of fantasy themes.
>had so other culturally based interpretation of fantasy themes
had so different interpretation of fantasy themes based on their culture.
sorry for the minor stroke, while writing
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>Fuck off, frogposter.
That’s what you get for not proofreading everything your pals submit. Never fucking say yes to anything before proofreading and rebalancing it.
>tfw you're a Mediterrian troll
Stop being so accurate you ηλίθιε.
Well you’re just a cunt now aren’t you?
Such race car requires really smooth roads. And those are rare in medieval settings, especially in giant cave systems.
>tfw describing sea port with exotic, Mediterranean vibes
>one of the players ask, if they can grab some food, while going to the NPC house for mission intel
You could grab some meat and bread with spices, served as kebab from the corner shops near the main-
>players voice get cold and accent heavier, as he cuts me off
I won't eat anything touched by hands turkish roaches!
>followed by audible sound of spitting
>IC mentality did 180, as he no longer seen this country as Greece
>angry hellenic comments on everything
>sides in the orbit

It was one of the better games
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Sure I don't see why not.
I'm not so sure when it comes to the politics but from I can agree is that they do seem to have their own definition of 'Good'
>that guy after having his character killed just leaves
>we figure he's done with our group and continue on as if nothing happened
>ooc wizard and barb tell me how they arranged the setting with DM but he didn't know it would end up this way
>how barb was pissed his wizard had died because of guy trying to be THAT edgelord
>wizard had used his downtime to find any escort quests then buy multiple bottles of cheap wine and two philters of love with the money he had left
>he then put them in two specific wines which he had only given to the daughter and rogue
>at this point any npc was going to make this work and the daughter was simply a pawn in the grand scheme of things
side note : yeah they metagamed the knowledge which lead to this but one shouldn't be too surprised that they'd eventually have enough and retaliate
>DM had originally planned a bandit attack but says he is going to scrap the encounter since this session was already action packed
>end session
>next session that guy is back
>introduces himself as the same character he used in depression quest
>mfw it all hits me
>get to drop off point and obviously don't get paid for our quest because of damaged goods
>guy takes me to the side and lets me know that she is an All-Father follower
>in fact she is his champion
>she was also friends with the guy whom we killed
>says All-Father would like his belongings as a way for him to pass on
>insight check
>no and I'm keeping MY stuff
>guy is persistent and threatens but I just leave
And that is sort of where we're at now, barb and wizard don't really care about that guy but are surprised he's back. Probably out of spite but he occasionally still gives me shit every now and then. DM hasn't kicked him because he isn't derailing the campaign anymore
He's correct that his strategy is the optimal one (which is part of the reason I don't like Risk! to begin with), but bitching that others don't play optimally and interrupt other players' turn to say "no this is wrobg" is both rude and annoying.
My dude. Just tell the GM that it's either gonna be you or THAT GUY because you don't like him personally and the two of you have beef.

The GM should easily pick you.
>le le me
>le le le first time le dm le ing
>le I made an obvious le mistake and le I le learned from it
>le post on github dot com
>le memes
shuttup scua, ask him if he's tride quitting games he doesn't like
a good gm can make a ba d game a good player, but a good player can make rope out of a bad game
I have a strict rule, whether as a dm or player, that nothing which makes the PLAYER uncomfortable is allowed.

This isn't some tumblr trigger warning stuff, but rather to make sure that everyone at the table is into the same thing.

You wanna RP molesting another PC while both players laugh and add stuff? Great. You wanna rape another PC while the other player asks you to stop and looks skeevy? Not fucking allowed. You wanna dm a game, and rape my character? I'm gonna ask you to stop OOC, and if you persist, I either table flip, or just leave.

Oh, and don't ever play a game with anyone who makes an effort to dress as autistic as possible.
What does dress autistic even mean?
well thered dress autistic and thered more autistic. If you're dress autistic, it means you're dress, like not a lot. If you're more, it means you're A LOT more

but seriously, if you don't know what I did mena, you're have to learn throughthe school of hard kknocks
>tfw once I had a paladin of torm
>tfw my name starts with a J
>tfw never thought I was that guy and people seemed cool with me but now I'm paranoid
>tfw this post was 2 days ago
Great, now I'll never know if some guy from my old group hates my guts. If you come back and read thread please give full first name
>I recognise that image
Oh fuck I'm a weeb
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That better not be you Jake
Hate is also a strong word.
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Oh shit, I never went by Jake, but my name is Jacob. What campaign did you play with him?
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Lmao, I'm who you think I am you can PM me on discord right this fuckin moment.
if Im*
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I'm honestly just some random stranger who joined in on the conversation because I wanted to post another funny Spongebob image.
Or am I?
5e homebrew campaign
not me but I'll keep that Kanna gif
ahh it wasn't me then, cool. Close call there.
It honestly depends on which type of spanish you’re translating them and how good the actual translator is at their damn job.
>not me but I'll keep that Kanna gif
Have another, since I impersonated you, but this is the last one.
Well, I've already branched out into other game systems, but alas, to no avail, apart from the weird fetish game which I don't want to participate in, because obviously.
>GURPS cyberpunk campaign
>PCs are a cocaine junkie cop, eyepatch mercenary chick, soviet expat mechanic (me) and valley girl psychic manipulator
>no thatguy yet, first session seems like it's gonna be fine
>we're all in the same Nuevo Tokyo night market when a strike team of guys in Oni masks start slaughtering people at random
>oh shit I don't wanna die
>GM guides each of us individually until we end in the same place: a drug den emptied out in a panic, it's only us and some corpses
>cop and merc get to work damn fast, make a plan to go under until we figure out what's going on and if they want to end us (all of us have at least one big enemy)
>wait inside until the shooting dies out before we leave
>gangers/crackheads come back to their hideout as we're leaving it
>cop is the only one with weapons, fucking ventilates them but not before valley girl gets shot to shit
>rest of session passes in a hurry, we investigate around to try and figure out if they're after us (we all have enemies)
>get a name and an address
>valley girl rerolls, makes an Alita knockoff
>next sesh
>roleplay it out as me resurrecting a junkyard android and giving it some extra firepower to help us out, we've seen what the mercs are capable of
>this would be the end of me
Obviously. You didn't even get to That Guy.
Sounds like the olayers were trying to play and you're a no-fun-allowed faggot who is souless and dead on the inside desu.
t. tranny
don't look for validation on an anonymous hot sauce forum, just post if you feel like it you soft fag
I was so starved for game, that I even got into fetish ERP furry games, that had some resemblance of real role play game under the layers of pure nightmare fetish fuel, that would make /d/ cringe.

>Two players finished the extremely detailed (and tiresome) description of sex in the great ball room in abandoned ruin of castle
>Third one describe how much he lusts for tiger girl and how he will dominate her in his thoughts
>Me: I want to check this library for any hidden rooms, or spaces... I prepared my oil lamp, so I shouldn't have malus for the darkness.

Kudos to the GM, who was able to throw some trap (literal one), puzzle, fight or interesting NPC at me, while dropping eldrtich sex demons and cultists on rest of the party.
This is how I run my games, and I told something like this to that DM before she decided to run the game. I should have dipped before, bitch was already weird around me and her asking for DM tips was probably just to keep me close for longer.
I know she had a fucking thing against me because nobody else went through anything remotely similar.
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>knockoff Alita immediately bonds to my character as "owner"
>fine, I could use someone to scrub the grease from my shirts
>player does a female voice very well but is otherwise well-adjusted
>he jokes about being my new waifu, it's in good taste
>I explain how my character thinks 3d is pig disgusting for a joke yadda yadda
>no problems, people laughed
>we make a discord to keep in touch outside of game time
>knockoff alita player wONT FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE
>reply as I'm not as social as I could be anyway
>get along
>one day he sends me an in-character post
>reply to it, why not?
>he seems to be weird, he writes with this awkward focus on his character's tits but I was thinking it was just shitposting
>then he asks me to ERP
>fucking badgers me at least thrice a day for it
>try to explain how i'm deeply uncomfortable with all of this
>player says he'll find something to pin on me if I tell dm or other players
>still awkwardly replying to his in character posts, at least the non porno ones
Here we are. Next session is tomorrow. Just fuck my shit up.
Just screenshot all of it and post it in the group chat without any warning. He'll be left on the spot.
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lmfao some retard tried to ERP you and now is trying to blackmail you if you say anything? Fucking bring logs, talk to the DM privately, ask for him to be kicked out of the group. make sure you have discord on your phone or laptop or something so you can prove it.
yeah or this, this might be better than what I just said here >>65307449
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>Be a player.
>Be with two buddies and another guy.
>Said guy has gotten out of a haze (?), has decided to be our Cartomancer.
>He says "fuck it, let's play 4th Reich".
>We all do our character sheets.
>Since the module is mostly geared towards political intrigue, we all stat our characters accordingly: no combat skills (save for one former boxeur), no weapons to start with, no bullshit special powers, nothing.
>We start out in Freiburg.
>Very first red flag: he says that we're all candidates for the positionof Burgermeister.
>For the ones playing at home: in the 4th Reich, almost needless to say, there are no elections.
>Afte all, the module never said that there weren't any sham elections, and our characters obviously know this.
>We give a quick thought about what our parties could stand for, we basically end up going for "all parties want dissidents dead, the question is how much should they be so".
>Cartomancer complains that our parties "aren't differentiated enough".
>We try to add inane shit to our political program.
>Not enough.
>We try to a differentiation based on whether the Aryan Church should copy Lutheranism, be Neopagan in nature, or be more esoteric.
>Fuck it, I go for Anarcho-capitalists whiel the other two go for the religious party and 'totally-not-communist-we-swear" party.
>After this aony, we're invited to do speeches.
>He makes us flip the Major Arcana do determine the effect, which is fair enough.
>Religious party guy gets Chariot, crowd is ecstatic and gifts him two thousand Reichsmarks.
>I get The Moon, I stutter but my supporters helps me in inspiring the crowd.
>Not-commie guy gets the Fool.
>His speech is interrupted by a bunch of hooded people in armoured (and armed) sidecars shooting wildly in the crowd and running over Gestapo agents.
>Our characters obviously run for their lives.
>The not-commie guy gets encircled by three such people.
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>Encircled guy's character shits his pants.
>One of the hooded figures then removes his hood, revealing slavic features and an orthodox cross carved on his forehead.
>"We're the knights of the Holy Piripillus!" he shouts "And we'e here to take you to Dachau and resurrect a truly veritable army of ghosts to take on this wretched place… comrade!"
>I stop the Cartomancer right there.
>I ask him an explanation of how all of this makes sense in-universe.
>Patently ignores me, I let it slide because I'm a jelly-spined faggot.
>He then says that the other two bikers are… golems.
>Yes, golems. Word for 2life" in Hebrew and all.
>Character is confused, players are confused, Cartomancer is just describing the amount silly-stupid bloody shit going on in that square.
>We decide that we might as act meta and let our characters join our other player.
>I wish I hasn't.
>Immediately afterwards, the head of those "Knights of the Holy Piripillus" comes to us riding a trike with spiked bumpers, and tells us to go out and pick SS memebers up in their sleep to be brought to the clandestine butchery set out just Beyond the city limits.
>When asked about it, the head of this stupid order tells us that 90% of the members are actually Deads.
>Read: fucking intelligent zombies, who are suppsoed to be a 1-in-a-10000 occurrence.
>>And when asked how are we suppsoed to infiltrate all those houses in Freiburg while the city is on high alert, the head of the Knights looks confused at our characters.
>The final straw was said OOC.
>"Oh, Freiburg is big, I'm sure that such a little raid won't rattle them enough to cause the city to go on high alert."
>I go "You wot?"
>Buddies litterally see nothing wrong with it, want to continue.
>Not wanting to cause a huge scene, I pretend that a family Emergency has happened, and leave posthaste.
>Everyone is saying how shit your compliance was
Maybe you shouldn't be on 4chan if it is all one dude calling you a fucking retard.
>table flip
you're a bitch and would never have the balls for it
>just leave
that's the right response
nice virtue signalling, Larqueesha
I don't think lobotomizing someone is as easy as grabbing and then shoving a ice pick into their eye.
desu reading this through,i think you've made some really fundamental mistakes

There are plenty of moments where you could have just asked the player to roll up a character more in line with the tone of the story.
Even in the final dungeon you could have just been like "Alright, so from the perspective of the game, that choice retires your character, let's roll up another character and come up with some back story for why they're helping the party"

maybe just have this as a lesson for why being direct is better when you're dealing with problem players.
I'm kinda with >>65297261 on this, something feels off about the story, like, something about this story seems sketchy but I can't say what exactly.

what exactly was this 360 degree shield? and how on earth did it completely block attacks and not just add setback dice? And if the guy just wanted to do space trucking simulator, why didn't the GM play into that and create excitement and interest by having stuff just go wrong and force the PCs to either hurtle through it or face not getting payment, like in Firefly? why did the GM have custom minis for EotE? or a game mat for that matter? the system really is meant to be played "theater of the mind" style, its not particularly supportive of minis. also how did you get a +90 modifier on a crit? I don't think even a lightsaber has a vicious 9 rating on it, hell, disruptors are only vicious 4. Also how DID his character outrun yours? none of the species I've read have specific move bonuses, best I've ever seen were Xexto, and besalisk who don't take strain to take a 2nd maneuver but then YOUR character still could take 2 maneuvers to move, just they'd take strain to do that AND shoot. Yeah a lot of the details of your story don't make a lot of sense.
Man you had me up until this post. You wrote all that on a card and had those EPIC witty responses to him? Nice try at roleplaying.
>(T) just after saving his god from death
GM: You, in your elation, suddenly feel strangely drained. You suddenly catch sight of your arm, and you see it is slightly transparent.
(T): "What's happening to me?"
GM: Your god says to you, "You have done me a great favor, but it would seem it has come at a great price. If I no longer die, you cannot any longer exist."

Then you offer him the choice of either letting himself vanish out of existence as penance for meddling with time or to try and kill his own god so he can continue to exist. Would've been interesting and plot relevant either way, if it's the former he dies in a good way, if it is the latter he becomes wracked with guilt and becomes the next big bad, there would even be satan analogues seeing as he would be a fallen angel.
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made me laugh
Fucking beautiful. A fitting image, too.
the plot to flashpoint paradox, maybe with evil versions of themselves if you're feeling really hammy. That way you get to pull PC Shinanigans on them
Ok, this was a while back, so I don't remember much of what went on in the campaign, I didn't play very long with this group as it involved far more dice rolling, number crunching, and arguing over rules than rp or actually playing the game.

Here's the characters I remember, K, who was playing I think a dragonborn paladin, G, who was playing I believe either a drow or teifling sorcerer or warlock, T, who was playing an elf supremacist rogue, and me, who was playing a goliath ranger. I had actually played maybe one or two weeks before I was the goliath, when I played a human druid, he got turned to stone after touching some feathers, and I kinda had to just sit there for a few hours since it wasn't like I would be unpetrified any time soon.

>Main plot up to this point was that the elder druid of the forest was apparently turning into something like a vampire, but not a vampire, and it was corrupting the forest and the feywilds.
>Anyways, I think the main party was on a quest to retrieve a gnome or something.
>I started in a chamber with said gnome that was magically sealed with some riddles.
>I had tried investigating the room, but I came up with nothing, despite pretty decent rolls due to my wisdom.
>I ended up not being able to do anything until the party arrived, at which point someone immediately noticed writing on the wall, which was apparently very faint.
>I somehow didn't notice this despite the several in-game hours I had spent inside the chamber, although it wouldn't have done me much good as it was in elvish.
>I had a fun time solving some riddles, they were all based on different ways to look at the wall, in the dark, in a reflection, and in a memory.
>We got out of the room when someone performed shadow magic.
>Turns out I was inside a wizards tower who specialized in creation magic, long since abandoned.
>Night falls, some sort of shenanigans go on with T and I standing guard in the night, and he wanders to the top of the tree to witness the coronation of K as the king of the feywilds.
>I was completely confused by all of this, but I was new to the group, so eh.
>Next day we explore the tree, and we find a mirror.
>This mirror was a magic item that would teleport any willing creature that touched it's surface into a floating tower inside a pocket dimension.
>We soon discovered that the tower was floating over an entirely separate world, created by this ancient great wizard.
>I was rather interested, and I figured that this might be an important plot thread.
>Rest of the party, not so much, they decide they will head back to town and see if they can sell it.
>After a while and a few more shenanigans, we get back to town to sell off a bunch of stuff.
>Somewhere around this time I had learned that soon before I joined, the party had encountered someone with a rare and strange disease.
>This person was growing pale, sickly, and required blood to sustain himself.
>The party had cured the person using a cup that was apparently capable of using greater restoration, but only like once a month, but not before G got a vial of his blood somehow.
>Apparently, the rest of the party wanted him to get rid of the blood, as it might be dangerous, instead he kept it, and just before I joined he threw it at a druid that attacked them on the road for some reason.
>It seemed rather obvious to me at this point that G was directly responsible for everything going wrong with the forest and feywild.
>Anyways, we got to the magic guild, which was actually an extra planar space that the building acted as a portal to.
>As soon as we walked in, the mirror cracked and there was a boom from further inside.
>Apparently, we had just tried to bring a portal to a pocket dimension inside a pocket dimension, which normally, for this portal, wouldn't be a problem. The building had wards that would disable any extradimentional items when inside it, so no tears in the fabric of reality would happen.
>Unfortunately, those wards were too weak for the mirror, and the two portals went head to head, destroying the one in the building, and cracking the mirror.
>The gnomes running the place were understandably pissed, but they admired that it was an honest mistake due to the strange circumstances.
>After a bit we went back to the tree, and we found a secret staircase, got in a boss battle I can't remember, and found a scroll.
>After some deliberating, G read the scroll up in the tree.
>The mirror was instantly fixed, and all non animate matter within 50 feet instantly vanished.
>Luckily no one died, and the mirror was fine due to magic.
>Something I don't remember goes down, and now the party is fighting eachother.
>I sided against G, as IC he was clearly far more trouble than he was worth and OOC he was a bit of a dick.
>Bunch of magic goes down, and I think of a brilliant plan.
>Try to grab G and get him to go inside the mirror, then lay the mirror face down on the ground.
>I try and execute this, but after evading or escaping my attempts to grapple him, he flees into the mirror to escape us.
>I lay the mirror face down.
>Things calm down, and eventually the party decides to let him out of the mirror.
>Reluctantly, I get off of it and let them, but I quickly touch it's surface to enter it before he can get out.
>G sees me and runs out of the one door to the room on the other side, and so I simply stand guard at that door.
>OOC, G is running around in the tower, and he finds a scroll like the one that obliterated everything in a 50 foot radius the last time.
>The idiot starts to read it.
>The tower starts to rumble and shake, and I quickly start running down to see what is going on.
>Soon there is a loud crack, and suddenly the tower is in freefall down to the surface below.
>I quickly manage to reach tyhe mirror, and I see that it has cracks coming in from the edges, and the image of the other side is quickly shrinking.
>I touch the mirror and appear on the other side, safe and sound, the mirror closing to black behind me.
>G prettymuch just sealed himself inside the mirror world, him having destroyed the only way out.
>He apparently got knocked out by the magical backlash from the spell, and was unconscious as the mirror closed.
>The tower stopped falling before it hit the ground, so he is still alive out there, he did roll up a new character.

I kindof feel bad for my part in it, I didn't intend to trap him forever inside there, just to do it for long enough he might learn something. He put it out of my hands though when he tried to do the Disney villain last minute back stab that sent him hurtling off a cliff. The story continued on for a while, but I got more and more bored and eventually decided that if I wasn't interested or having fun there wasn't much point in me being there, and so I left.
Still, I do like this story. It came together rather eerily well in the end, and I don't think I'm really doing the pure poetic irony of G's demise justice.
Should've sent the ghost busters after your PC.
I honestly can't fucking fathom why a dm, or player even, would rape a character at all. Like sure, joke about that shit, but why would you seriously say "Your character gets raped by a pack of wild goblins and wolves" as part of the "story". That's pure magical realm garbage and only the dm would get any value out of it at all.
That is sexual harassment and you could probably take him to court if you really really wanted to you could get a restraining order, take him to court, and all other sorts of shit to just fuck up his life. (I’m not saying you’ll win, just give him an assload of trouble.)

At least expose him to your group.
why not just quit
why keep going
>online group
>still relatively new to D&D so I just make characters using published material
>having fun
>DMs friends characters get revealed, they all refuse to share info on their class, whisper stuff to the DM for their mechanics and shit
>weird but okay
>encounter happens, its a fight we're not supposed to win, surrounded and completely out-gunned
>snowflake PC apparently used some anime homebrew and single handedly killed everything, including our animal companions
>ask for his homebrew source
>"NOT INTENDED FOR PC USE" in big red letters
people mentioned their disdain about what happened, it got looked into, he eventually switched character.
They are a blasphemy. Refuse to travel with them. He'll have to roll a new character. They said they came from your God and give you all the stuff and lied. IRL you say 'fuck off, if you follow us I'll kill you. I do not trust you'.
Yeah, sorry but it sounds like you were in the wrong here. Even good players will get pissed and jump the rails if you put too much pressure on.

Additionally you casually dropped in that you made an NPC invulnerable which is just plain bad GMing. This makes me lean more to the players side as if you're going nuclear in this way it's not a good sign.

Remember, it's an interactive game, not just you telling a story at your players
Lol, im not OP and had never even heard of this TTRPG. Was just wondering but nice condescension
disgusting but I can see the intentions were good?
Best games are the ones where I hand out premade characters
You literally let a player no one liked kill everyone's character
This still makes me angry.
>plays for months with a character the DM made
>tricked continually into continuing the cucking
>DM finales with some public shaming
>DM is the dumb one who doesn't realize
that explains a lot.
>friend rolled up a class from that once
>it was beyond broken, in the useless way
>all about upfront combat, no armor, low hp, and you traded health for abilities on top of that
>without trying i accidentally killed him with a bugbear at level 2 in 3 hits
Is all that heat getting to your head, Satan?
>The DM thinks Kenku can't talk, only mimic sounds and make gestures
This is true though, did you read your own racial info?
You sound awfully miffed there anon
Hold on just a second, I'm not that guy but you still sound familiar. You don't live in Scotland do you?
Archiving because this is the most entertaining That Guy thread I've seen in years
>Lol, im not OP and had never even heard of this TTRPG. Was just wondering but nice condescension
Edge of the Empire is a Star Wars RPG by Fantasy Flight Games, using the system that would become Genysys.

It's pretty fun, but it's not known by many people, and as >>65309329 said, there's no battlemats in EotE it's meant for theatre of the mind not D&D tactics positioning and there's a bunch of other things wrong with it.
You're a bad GM. You could have stopped this trainwreck from happening at literally every step of the process. Read a guide or something geeze.
Oh nice. Actual communications for once

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