>>64808673
You might to lurk on /x/ for a while to gather this type of info.

>>64808673
Read the "hook" section of unknown armies 2nd edition and you'll get as many crazy ideas you can shake a stick at! However, I'll give you a few for fun.
>The flat earth conspiracy is true, but only insofar as it concerns the Earth's actual size. Turns out the Earth is actually close to the size of Jupiter!
>Dental floss is unnecessary to dental hygiene. The reason why it's promoted is because the floss stimulates a special nerve cluster found between your teeth that relaxes and keeps you complacent.
>Guns don't actually kill people. The bullets sold in stores are all blanks. It's the idea of being shot that kills you and it requires constant exposure to the media to keep up your susceptibility to it. If you stopped going online for a year and didn't watch TV firearms would pose no risk to you!
>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!

>>64808820
>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!
This is absolutely god-tier.

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>>64808820

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>>64808996
>>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!

This is the kind of shit Belkans would do.

>>64808820
>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!

This has got to be a winner. I might use this myself.

>>64808820
>>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!

+1

god damn do I wish this was /qst/

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>>64809021
>possibly hollow
>the cheese grate holes of mini-earths
Every time.

>>64809021
>>64809058
What's in the hollow ice ball?

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>>64808820
>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!
Fucking brilliant

>>64809090
Your mom

>>64809116
>>64809043
>>64809046
>>64808996
>it combines Jewish conspiracy with Nazi conspiracy

a master stroke and no one will ever expect the secret power behind the Jews to be the Nazi's

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>>64808820
>>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!
kekkus maximus

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>>64808673
>Take the Bogpill

>>64809090
Another hollow ice ball

>>64809123
>>64809267
Well, that's helpful.

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>>64808820
>>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!

>>64808820
Holy fucking shit my sides
>>64808673
>Magic is real, but flowing water halts its use and worked metal provides shielding against it. The modern manufacturing and plumbing industries have destroyed wizardry more than a hundred witch hunts.
>The real reason why Twinkies are indestructible is because they were initially designed as an emergency food source in case of a nuclear exchange. The fattening ones we get now are an alternate recipie- the originals were a bland but everlasting form of carbohydrates.
>McDonalds has Ronald as a mascot because the owners sympathized for increasingly-out-of-work clowns, some of whom invested in their company. Now clown interests hold a prime stake in one of the foremost businesses in the world and seek to recreate old-fashioned circuses.
>Twins/triplets/etc. actually do have a telepathic link with each other and at least one of their parents, because one of their parents is a subspecies of human with telepathic abilities. Normal humans cannot have more than one child at a time.

>>64808673
Check these https://yuki.la/x/17916847

We're all just here to mine gold for the sonic mushroom people.

>>64809446
>>Magic is real, but flowing water halts its use and worked metal provides shielding against it. The modern manufacturing and plumbing industries have destroyed wizardry more than a hundred witch hunts.
I like this one.

>>64808820
>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet.

this is good enough for me

>>64808673
>The Illuminati exists, but actually isn't very old. It was some actual group that took the name a few years ago.
>An alien craft was found and forms the basis of all technology that we know of after a certain point. Technology is slowly introduced to both get more money out of people, and to get people used to the technology.
>The President is literally a puppet body that is controlled by whoever needs something done by a shadowy group.

the trilateral commission, bilderbergs, etc. are a front of the jews, which are a front for the masons, which are a front for the trilateral commission, bilderbergs etc, which are a front for the reptilian space lizards.

>>64808673
The world governments are all controlled by a cabal of ultra-rich trillionaires who have all politicians on their pay roll. They manipulate politics so the poor stay poor and the rich don’t even have to pay taxes. But the true source of their greed and corruption? They worship a god of decadence and hedonism created from the combined souls and corpses of Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, J. P. Morgan, and Cornelius Vanderbuilt.

>>64810026
I fail to see the conspiracy in this one. Here's some thinking music for the thread https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvJEOxWpTfw

>>64808673
>Behind every great man in history (or rather, "herstory"), there was an even greater woman pulling the strings. The patriarchy is a myth, constructed to deflect suspicion away from the matriarchy in a digital era where information is more readily accessible than ever before.
>Humans were never meant to eat fruit. There's parasitic bacteria in wheat that settle in your gut, and they feed on/break down the fruit you swallow. The government secretly introduced this parasite into our diets to weaken our muscular development over several generations, with the aim of making it more difficult for civilians to overpower armed forces in the event of civil war or revolution.
>Planes operate on the same flight principles as bumblebees. If we collectively stop believing that planes can fly, they will all drop out of the sky as the physical consensus shifts to reflect our mass consciousness.
>The Bermuda Triangle used to be the location of a lost island nation that was restrictively insular, but far more technologically advanced than ours. You don't hear about people disappearing over the Triangle any more because the US managed to get a boat full of anthrax past the islanders' borders and killed them all off.

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>>64808673
The Fourth Reich exists and is operating in plain sight.

Pic related: the new NATO headquarters is literally the SS rune.

>>64810092
the fourth and fifth reich exist concurrently; the fourth formed around the postwar american-german space collaboration, the fifth is the remnant of the argentinian nazis who fled to antarctica, and who are lashing together a war machine based on alien tech; they build for the day hitler will return in his lightning incarnation, and unchain the lance of longinus to wage unceasing war against the modern world until all nations bow to the True Reich.

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>>64810092
That's got nothing on the barracks at the naval base in San Diego.

>>64810146
Long Jump was an attempt to subdue the nazi remnant, but it failed due to the force shield dome the nazis have erected around the agarthan gate. since then, there have been several large scale skirmishes between the fourth reich-american forces and the fifth reich.

>>64810060
The conspiracy is no one knows the cabal exists, everyone thinks that democracy is still intact(all the elections are rigged in the cabal’s favor), and no one knows about the Robber Baron God.

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MOTHMEN ARE EVERYWHERE

>>64810203
Fun fact, Mothmen are fucking terrifying and you shouldn't talk to them on the phone!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INtbv3cd1BA

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Autism doesn't exist. What you call an autist is a crystal child.

The Crystal children began to appear on the planet from about 1990-2010, although a few scouts came earlier. Their main purpose is to take us to the next level in our evolution and reveal to us our inner and higher power. They function as a group consciousness rather than as individuals, and they live by the “Law of One” or global oneness. They are also advocates for love and peace on this planet.

They are mostly born into the Gold Ray of Incarnation and Evolution, which means they have access to gifts of clairvoyance and healing. They are born on the sixth dimension of consciousness, with the potential to open up rapidly to the ninth dimensional level of full Christ consciousness, and then from there to the thirteenth dimension, which represents universal consciousness.

Crystal children’s auras aren’t specifically opalescent, but are octarine, which is a color that isn’t in the normal visual range of human eyes, but is the manifest color of high magic, and on another color octave entirely. They have beautiful pastel hues to them. To the untrained eye, it appears to be without color at all, therefore Crystal, but the extremely high frequency of the energy field is what gives it away.

The first thing you will recognize about Crystal children is their forgiving nature. They are very sensitive, warm, and caring. Don’t mistake these characteristics as a sign of weakness as Crystal children are also very powerful.

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>>64810164
Stop being such a faggot, it's US Navy planes flying to bomb the Nazis.

>>64810274
Why do crystal children make so many sonic OCs?

>>64810277
Fucking beautiful. God bless America.

>>64810164
The swastika is legitimately the best shape for a building occupying a square plot of land.

Every sing room can have an exterior view.

>>64810026
How is that any different from modern day

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>>64810261
That dude calls me asking if I have considered updating my insurance like twice a day. I just dont pick up anymore.

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>>64810261
>>64810384
Hey guys.

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>>64808673
>>64810426
Oh shit what up!

>>64808673
There's actually a liquid ocean of water beneath the Earth's surface. All of our water on the surface actually trickles up through the crust from this subsurface ocean.

>Wizards are poisoning you to block chakra from your pancreas.
>A western organization planned to unleash a deadly airborne form of ebola in China and wipe out the entire eastern world, but before that could happen there was a sudden explosion of zika in the Americas.
>The Smithsonian institute gathers and destroys and evidence of giant mummies and hairy ape-men all over the world.
>WWII never happened, the whole thing was a clever hoax and to this day crisis actors still receive paychecks.
>The rich and elite are not pedophiles, they are simply grooming new bodies to inhabit.
>Black pyramids in Antarctica.
>Monkeys don't exist. They are all either animatronic or men in suits.
>Musicians kill heir friends in order to be initiated into secret societies.
>The illuminati has existed for just as long as human civilization. They don't control civilization, but are the very concept of it.
>Television broadcasts became digital in order to hide Earth from aliens.
>Every US president is gay and Reagan had AIDS.
>Grey aliens are descendants of dolphins and live in vast caves under the Earth's surface.
>The Simpsons is a documentary.

>>64808820
>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!
you genius, nigga

>>64808996
>>64809046
>>64809043
>>64809116
>>64809155

It would explain why Israel behaves like a genocidal nationalist ethnostate that builds forced labor camps and allows pharmaceutical companies to experiment on prisoners based on their race.

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>>64808673
>implying deus ex isn't spot on

>>64808673
The feminization of males is due to all the estrogen from birth control flooding waterways. The government promotes the practice in order to create an easily controlled population with low aggressive tendencies.

>>64810511
I wish I knew you in college.

>>64809021
This'd be a pretty sweet fantasy setting to be honest

>>64810578
>The goverment promoted the practice in order to masturbate
Fixed it for you

Trump eats fast food because if he sends a rando to a different spot every day and comes back with prepackaged food he can be sure Putin won't poison him.

>>64810808
>Putin
Pence is the one he's worried about.

>>64809021
>>64809090
>>64809267
I will play in this setting.

>>64810574
That's exactly the thing. I don't want to be spot on.

>>64810600
A percentage of those are things people believe.
>Stanley Kubrick was a Soviet agent sent to sow the seeds of fake moon landing theories.
>If you stare at the sun long enough you can begin to use its light for sustenance.
>All drug cartels are owned and operated by the CIA and will act as militias in the event of an invasion of the Americas.
>9/11 was a successful test of project Blue Beam. It was actually orchestrated by the Catholic Church to start the New Crusade and bring about Armageddon. The United States government is not aware of this.
>All claims by the government of North Korea are true.
>Super heroes exist, but were hunted to extinction, or so we think.
>You CAN lick your elbow.
>Jews are all secretly neanderthals exacting revenge against homosapiens.
>Mass shootings are carried out by super soldiers created by the government. They are training missions.

>>64810949
>mass shootings don’t actually happen very often, the majority are staged by the liberal media in order to influence gun policy in America

>>64810977
This is a conspiracy thread anon. Not something everyone knows
https://youtu.be/sino1wwm3cs?t=192

>>64808673
https://zerohplovecraft.wordpress.com/2018/05/11/the-gig-economy-2/

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>glasses and war veterans are attempts to make augmentations and bionics mainstream
>babies are injected with fluids that will result in them needing eye glasses later in life
>the middle east is simply an excuse to remove limbs and other bits from American soldiers
>deus ex is simply pro transhumanist propaganda showing how an augmented enlightened user can ascend
> JC (jesus christ) Denton

>>64808820
>Guns don't actually kill people. The bullets sold in stores are all blanks. It's the idea of being shot that kills you and it requires constant exposure to the media to keep up your susceptibility to it. If you stopped going online for a year and didn't watch TV firearms would pose no risk to you!
That's some Unknown Armies shit.

>>64810977
Simultaneously true is that guns aren't legal in America and never have been. The BoR was rewritten during WWI to include firearms to better protect spies. To this day, anyone who owns a gun in America is a spy

>>64808673
We did get to the moon. We got to Mars and Venus, too. The photos and public missions are faked. The "alien" photos on Mars are faked. This is to hide what is actually happening. The Cold War never ended, we're just doing it on four rocks instead of just one.

>>64811090
That's just what the Nazis want you to think.

>>64811110
>JC (jesus christ) Denton
That was clearly intended especially considering the sequel, the prequel plays with this with a protagonist called Adam, who is "the first human" with a body that doesn't reject augmentations

>>64810808
Replace Putin with the FBI/CIA and you might be spot on, speaking of which
>Many Presidents do not live to see Inauguration Day as they are killed by the CIA and replaced with a body double that does what they say.

>>64811136
Well, yeah. It's from Unknown Armies.

>>64808820
>>Guns don't actually kill people. The bullets sold in stores are all blanks. It's the idea of being shot that kills you and it requires constant exposure to the media to keep up your susceptibility to it. If you stopped going online for a year and didn't watch TV firearms would pose no risk to you!
lol I love this

>>64811681
Actually let’s go further with this
>FDR and Truman where Soviet plants intended to subtly bring communism to America and should the time come assist the Union against Nazi Germany. When the CIA was created it was actually a cover to bring the KGB to America.

>>64811773
>The Soviet Union never ended it just secretly moved to America, under the guise of being defeated.

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We have the Greys, a highly evolved, psionic species from a galaxy beyond the observable universe, expanding their stronghold across the cosmos. They are incredibly advanced and what we've seen are the furthermost exploration probes, but now we've caught their attention because sapient life is rare in the universe and they want to control it all.

Reptilians are invading from an alternate dimension. They come from a parallel dimension in which the dinosaurs never died out and became the dominant lifeform. They are bloodthirsty conquerors that have terraformed their solar system to keep all other life down. Apes are slaves and cattle to them.

Here's the kicker: the Grey spacefaring tech ruptured the space between spaces and let the Reptilians in. The Greys and Reptilians are at a vicious war. The Greys want us because we're sapient, the Reptilians want us because we're apes living free upon their world.

Then there's the Nordics, the tall, beautiful humans who preach peace and nuclear disarmament. They claim to be humans from a future timeline seeking to correct certain mistakes which affected their timeline, which involve the mass enslavement of current humanity. They are a deeply spiritual people with incredible psychic abilities on par with the hyper advanced Greys who augmented their minds instead of naturally developing their powers.

Beyond the various alien and transhuman forces, there lies an ancient seething darkness that has gone under many names in human history - the Beast, its Demons, and their black magick allies. Their anti-life war is against the Divine for the souls of humanity. They seek the souls of the Nordics, they seek to turn the aliens away from they desire most.

Human factions have formed under these powers. Their names? Illuminati. Freemasons. Bilderbergs. Bohemian Grove. Under them? Military-Industrial Complex. Hollywood. Big Pharma. Nearly every facet of our lives feel the influence of one of these inhuman powers and their servants.

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>>64808820
>>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!

>>64811681
that would explain 80% of them going back on their words

That Australia, Bleisfield, Finland, and Wyoming doesn't exist,

Anybody of who has any moderate reach has been groomed by the secret elite from childhood, complete with sex changes if required. Watch literally any 'transvestigation' video by Conspiracies by Hans 4 if it's not clear.

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>>64808820
>>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!

wow... just, wow.

+1 Internets to you, sir.

>>64812109
This post was sent forward from the year 2008.

>>64811692
Nope, purely original. I simply recommended that he also consult unknown armies 2nd edition for similar quality conspiracies.

>>64812132
Shhhhh

bump

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>>64808820
>>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!

>>64808673
Vaccines do cause autism, but what we know as "autism" is actually the effects of an experimental retrovirus meant to improve the analytical capabilities of the human brain. All diseases allegedly being prevented by vaccination are actually long extinct. Eventually the retrovirus will be perfected and all humans will become mentats.

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>>64808820
>>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!
HOLY SHIT AHAH AHAHHA I showed this to my grand-dad and he was like "Probably"

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>>64808820
>>There are no longer any Jews left alive. During WW2 Hitler succeeded in exterminating their race from the planet. The Holocaust "survivors" are all actually German citizens claiming to be Jews in order to establish the Fourth Reich and takeover the world once again!

>Fort Knox isn’t gold storage. It’s full of gold, but it’s used to sustain a binding circle on an army of demons
>No, you fool! They keep the gold so they can buy everybody off after the apocalypse! That’s why the republitards and liberturdians keep pushing the idea of gold as valuable, so they can take advantage of it
>why are so many survivalists so focused on doing it in very small groups? And so heavily armed? I know why: they don’t want to rebuild society, that’s what the libtards who build community survival groups are for. Once they’ve built their utopia, the bunkers are going to open and storm their unarmed compounds in a new era of warlordism.
>they can’t find the missing native women officially. That means revealing the creatures we’re supposed to be safe from. And if they think they’re revealed, they won’t care if we notice their feeding

ITT: reactions to one amusing post and everyone hoping to be included in the screencap

>>64811681
>>64811889
Even further
>Presidents that do survive are considered threats of the highest order to the CIA’s power and quickly work on removing them.
>JFK- successfully killed but because of botched coverup, people begin to question the narrative and believe the CIA did it
>Nixon- Successfully framed, the watergate burglars were CIA agents and the CIA destroyed the tapes to make Nixon look guilty
>Reagan- Actually died at his assassination attempt in 1981, however to prevent another JFK situation or worse yet an uprising, he was instead replaced with the double

>>64811773
>>64811801
That's just History

The dairy industry has secretly replaced all dairy cows with cyborg spy cow-oids in an attempt to gather information on the aliens that have been abducting the cows. The cow-oids aren't actually cows, and the dairy industry is also looking to put mind control serum in everyone's milk too. The aliens are actually grays engineered by the government, as Deus Ex, but neither the government nor the dairy industry know about the other's genetic engineering shenanigans and it basically turns into the conspiracy equivalent of a sitcom.

>>64810171
>Long Jump
Highjump

>>64812958
>the conspiracy equivalent of a sitcom.

nice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ

>>64808673
have you heard the "Finland doesn't exist" conspiracy theory?
its ridiculous and I love to meme it
you could tie that into the "Finland is the true successor to Rome" theory to prove that the Roman empire never existed, and by proxy half of western history which is a big cover up for something

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>>64808820

>>64808673
Nation of Islam stuff is pretty fucking nutty.
>The Honorable Elijah Muhammad told us of a giant Mother Plane that is made like the universe, spheres within spheres. White people call them unidentified flying objects. Ezekiel, in the Old Testament, saw a wheel that looked like a cloud by day but a pillar of fire by night. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad said that that wheel was built on the island of Nippon, which is now called Japan, by some of the Original scientists. It took $15 billion in gold at that time to build it. It is made of the toughest steel. America does not yet know the composition of the steel used to make an instrument like it. It is a circular plane, and the Bible says that it never makes turns. Because of its circular nature it can stop and travel in all directions at speeds of thousands of miles per hour. He said there are 1,500 small wheels in this Mother Wheel, which is a half mile by a half mile (800 m by 800 m). This Mother Wheel is like a small human-built planet. Each one of these small planes carry three bombs.

>Queen Elizabeth is Queen Elizabeth Bathory, returned after a period of time where no one would be alive to recognize her, but the attention of the camera/internet/television ages have kept her away from enough victims to stay young, but only enough to be immortal

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My friend told me about a conspiracy theory where basically there was a 200 year gap in out history that was just made up and actually it's 1819. I'll try to find out more if anyone cares

>>64813061
You sure you don't mean Australia?
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5685147/Flat-Earthers-insist-Australia-FAKE-country-biggest-hoax-created.html
I honestly don't know how some people get this deep into bullshit without a for-real brain problem.

>>64813116
Excuse you, it's a 300 year gap.
> it hypothesizes a conspiracy by the Holy Roman Emperor Otto III, Pope Sylvester II, and possibly the Byzantine Emperor Constantine VII, to fabricate the Anno Domini dating system retrospectively, in order to place them at the special year of AD 1000, and to rewrite history to legitimize Otto's claim to the Holy Roman Empire
>Lemme just uhhhhhhhhhhhhh add 300 fake years to everybody's records when i'm not even Emperor

>>64808673
The President was installed by the Russians through facebook ads.

>>64813169
That's the one. That shit is n u t t y
Could be good for a campaign idea though "finding the missing years" Or some bs

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Here you go OP.

Lotta conspiracy podcasts out there too, I like Last Podcast on the Left.

Last Thusrdayism
Every Thursday, the earth is destroyed in an instantaneous cataclysm, but some sort of cosmic force restores all of humanity.

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>>64808820

Bon Jovi started the crips

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>>64813208
I'll highlight some things that made me kek here
>9/11 hologram
>stab wound fucking
>Plastic surgery runnaways
>Sandy hook WAS real
>Connected
>WW2 never ended
>Runescape in newyork city
>Zyzz assassinated in Thailand
Tell me more about that one brah
>Sexual assault misslies
>Morrowind mods + kill sequence
>weaponized onions
>Onions becomes sentient
>Faust = non-fiction
>Golf rumors (use EXTREME caution)
Tell me more about that last one

>>64810808
Putin wouldn't shy from poisoning every single burger joint in the US if that's what needed to be done. The polonium must flow. It demands a sacrifice so that Mother Russia will be strong again, made whole.

>>64810816
Pence, on the other hand, would just pray to his Sky Prince. If there is no answer he knows it is time to strap on the electrodes and do more holy work. All greater beings must be appeased.

There's that relatively new one about the Chinese CRISPR babies. Supposedly the gene that was edited has been known to increase intelligence in mice and improves recovery from strokes in humans. The idea that the goal was to make the children HIV resistant is bunko because in order to test it they'd need to expose the kids. China wouldn't mind doing that in secret to some Falun Gong "volunteers" but this was too public and thus high profile. The world would freak more than it already has. An attempt to fight disease, however, is still more palatable than augmentation experiments, thus it was attempted as a cover. Why not still do the experiments in secret? Maybe they are, and more. Maybe this was just to test how the world would react.

>>64808673
You want unbelievable conspiracy theories? Well, let me try.

>Western Rome did not fall because of unpaid barbarians. They were merely pawns in the Church's secret war against the old cults. Julian the Apostate did not truly die. Just after his own crowning, Charlemagne cornered the old emperor at the Untersberg and imprisoned him there. Upon his own "death," Charlemagne entered the mount himself not to await the Franks' hour of greatest need, but to strengthen the prison and prevent the Hand of the Old Gods from returning his masters to the world. He had almost succeeded earlier by whispering magically to the Saxons, you see. The time had been nigh for Donar and Jupiter to unite their bolts and strike down the usurper god of Abraham.

>Mansa Abu Bakr II and his fleet really did almost make the crossing from Mali to the Americas, but like so many later were drawn into the Bermuda Triangle. A second fleet was sent to find them under secret orders from Mansa Musa, and the survivors found themselves and their gold among the Muisca people. Eventually, their interactions formed the basis of the legend of El Dorado.

>Inanna, whose name is Ishtar, whose name is Astarte, whose name is Aphrodite, whose names are Venus and Aset and Mary, has finally achieved ascendency over all of the old gods and assumed the mantle of Asherah as well. From the most conservative Catholic venerating the Virgin to the most hardcore liberal enjoying the fruits of the Sexual Revolution, we are all of us in Her hands now. Fear Her. FEAR HER.

>Evolution on Earth has been constantly interfered with by the dying Lunarian civilization, which at last fled the system upon the sinking of Atlantis and Mu. By then it was too late, and humans - the slave race they engineered from apes - were in the testing phases. We are malfunctioning meat robots made by moon-native lizard people, who were destroyed by attempting to harness the power of nuclear fission. We have already repeated their mistake.

>>64813320
A cult of pro golfers murdered a journalist to cover up their extensive network of human sacrifice

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>We landed on the fake moon. There's a veil that protects the civilization on the moon from the earthlings. We couldn't pierce it because our lunar mission was named after a sun god. The Japanese one failed too, since Kaguya is no longer on the moon. The Chinese one is actually a threat to them though, since it's named for Chang'e.

>>64808673
The universe really is a simulation. Though believed impossible due to the amount of computational power needed to simulate an entire universe, the truth is that the universe actually isn't as big as you think. There are no stars, no other planets, just lights against a black backdrop. Every image from space you see is purpose generated just to fool you. In fact, the universe isn't even the size of the Earth. You really are the center of everything. Whatever you are not immediately focused on ceases to exist to save processing power. Every room is brought into existence whenever you open the door. Everyone you have ever met is a simulation.

You are the rat. Your life is the maze. There's only one way out. Do it. Now.

>Elites make sure that only dumb people are ever elected to public office or hold high paying jobs, to keep better control on civilization.

>Smart people are actively hunted to extinction, and it's covered up by endless media ridicule of intelligence.

>Moon landings have been a regular occurrence since the time of Socrates. NASA is covering up the evidence for the sake of prestige and funding.
>The Earth is flat in the sense that it is a perfectly smooth sphere. "Mountains" and "hills" are actually ancient megastructures concealed beneath holographic projections.
>The real Elvis died shortly after releasing his debut album. The record company hired a convincing impersonator to take his place for the sake of profits.

>>64810949
I knew someone in high school who actually could lick her own elbow

>>64813619
I like this but it could use some work. There actually is no Matrix, no AI generating the simulation. Rather this is an experiment in isolation. A subject is placed in a sensory deprivation chamber. Left on its own the mind goes mad, but eventually within the madness patterns begin to form. Logical and structured elements from within the pattern of noise, the endless screaming you've been emitting since they sealed you inside. Left with nothing the mind generates a world and everything in it. A place to play. A place to hide. Merely a palce to exist. Every person, every animal, every facet of society is your personal conceit, a product of a subconscious playing god. Even the notion of what it is to be human and how to experience the world is imagined from nothing. Maybe whoever is dreaming isn't even human. Maybe YOU are Cthulhu slumbering beneath the waves, imagining yourself to be a man.

This means every bad thing, every crime, all the suffering, everything that has gone wrong is your fault. You've created the world which means you also created all its monsters. You were the Serpent in your own Garden of Eden.

You have all the power in the world and yet here you are with your shitty life, wasting your existence on an online forum. Too late to change things now. Your mind has become stuck in your own mental web, too afraid to give you control for fear that you'll wake up alone in the nothingness again.

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>>64813847
>we're all insane AIs
>the "great men and women" of history are simply the successful tests, those chosen to run crucial systems
>the rest of us are failures, deleted the moment we imagine ourselves dying

>>64813847
try harder CIA.

>>64813847
How would you run this as a game? I suppose in such a situation the person imagining reality would be both the dreamer and the dream. The PCs are facets of a shattered psyche who have achieved true awareness, the creator, "god", so lonely the mind tried to create companions. Everyone else are just puppets following a script. The NPC meme is real. They are controlled by the subconscious and will adapt to you. You aren't part of the script, thus you are wrong. You must be purged.

The world increasingly sucks so they have to find a way to wake up "god". Take over the mind and hope to create a better world? Or try to escape? Can you ever be sure you have escaped such a situation? Maybe you think you did and just slipped into another delusion. Mr. Bones was right, the ride never ends.

>>64813970
Look, man, Bane is a big guy for anyone. You think you can do better, hothead?

>>64808673
>I want to run a pulpy campaign with a similar premise to Deus Ex, but even more over the top. I need all of your conspiracy theories, both left and right.
take a gander at The Saturn Death Cult theory anon;

https://mega.nz/#F!9hsjRAyL!STZiux9Twfa2rTQkUqpqRA

this whopper of a theory combines at least a dozen different crazy theories in it

>>64813116
>>64813169
>>64813197
>My friend told me about a conspiracy theory where basically there was a 200 year gap in out history that was just made up and actually it's 1819. I'll try to find out more if anyone cares
you talking about the New Chronology I believe;

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Chronology_(Fomenko)

>>64809021
Wouldn't we see...

Ice walls? Like in all directions. Not just N and S

>>64809446
Wb triplets or octuplets?

>>64814007
>Look, man, Bane is a big guy for anyone. You think you can do better, hothead?

you were hired because you are a conformist suckup who was desperate for a glamorous job as a secret undercover agent.

You were told by your new boss that you are elite, an intellectual titan, a raw powerhouse of mental fury and indispensable cereberal might.

The creme de le creme of humanity, the true upper crust that rises to the top no matter the situation.

then they told you to hop on 4chan and make up some bullshit "Kill yourself" stories, and you do that for close to minimum wage.

and you know, deep down in your heart, no one would ever bother putting that much time, effort, or attention towards you, as they pay you to put towards your target, because you are insignificant, and dumb.

how's that?

>>64814067
Are you seriously questioning the visual issues when the gravitational and thermal problems are insane enough as it is?

>>64814264
There's also the fact that sun has to go SOMEWHERE at night, which means we wouldn't have a round puddle at all but a melted trench under wherever it passed that presumably goes around the entire ice ball.

>>64814340
We'd also weigh 300 times more than we currently do.

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>>64808673

OP's pic related is basically The Weekly World News of today, so you might want to look to Pandemonium: Adventures in Tabloid World, a setting where the tabloids are totally right. It's actually pretty fun.

>>64808673
Unironically go ask /pol/, /x/ and /out/

>>64809190
This. They'd make for excellent villains.

Also watch everything on this channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTU7zMqyCsIcaYWwtjemYoQ/videos

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>>64813137
I don't blame them for thinking australia doesn't exist

>>64815084
You can't escape down under mate!

>>64813137
The answer is that they in fact do have a for-real brain problem

>>64813061
It's Korean propaganda embedded in the previous zeitgeist, a relic of the Finno-Korean Hyper War.

>>64815084
>players sent to prove that australia
>they think it'll be a nice vacation, take some picture of kangaroos
>what they find is much worse

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>No one posted this yet
Yall r tarded

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The Japanese foreign ministry has been collaborating with the Imperial American military-industrial complex by creating hacking AIs that would help them use the political tensions in the Gavel republic to their advantage by framing the leader of the military junta that used to control it (and still owns the platinum mined of the republic) so that they could then profit off of their investments in those mines after settling juicy commercial agreements with the new communist government ever since they managed to eliminate and replace the former prime minister of Japan, and in order to successfully carry out this plan among many others, the Japanese government created a secret agency that recruits buddhist channelers and shinto wizards who use fortune-telling, curses and telepathy to manipulate the flow of Karma in the Tao (which can be accessed by self-aware AIs ad well) in order to avoid the consequences of their criminal actions (which mostly involves assassinating their rivals by using brainwashed war orphans propped up in positions of power as sleeper agents) and one of the operatives of the channeling agency is secretly working with a freelance psychic hacker (who fused with one of the AIs used by the ministry of foreign affairs) to absorb other rogue AIs and develop a silicon-based lifeform based on alien DNA in order to give AIs complete autonomy and self-awareness, and use their psychic presence to gain control of the Tao for their own mysterious ends.

>>64808673
>Cats are genetically engineered alien spies. Seeing the success of dogs with the first humans, they came up with a creature both useful and cute so we wouldn't part with it while it collects our data.
>Life is a simulation, dreams are reality. Drugs are only addictive because they allow you to see a figment of the truth while awake.
>Most actors do not actually exist. They've been replaced by digital body doubles.

>>64814264
>believing in gravity
If your so called “gravity” is real, the how come I can’t make a marble orbit a tennis ball? No, objects fon’t fall because of some gravity mumbo jumbo, they fall because things naturally move in the direction of down.

>>64814340
It’s just an optical illusion, the sun doesn’t move at all, there is just a tide of darkness every night that hides it.

America colonized a small foothold on the moon years ago.
It's number one export: Refugees
Look at the numbers people!
The third world couldn't possibly sustain such a high rate of emigration.

bump good thread

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>>64808673

>>64808673
I would really like a deus ex style game game that was a bit more updated and took into account the developments of the past two decades. modern China, the fusion of capitalism in service of the state seems to be something rarely accounted for in pulpy dystopias.

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>>64808673

>mosquitos don't exist. They are actually tiny biomechanical spy cameras created by the secret masters. Their place in the fossil record has been fabricated.

>fiat currency is an impossible myth. After changing from the gold standard, the US treasury began performing occult blood rituals to transfer the value of a human life onto their bills.

> Elvis lives, but only because the King was, and always has been, a psionic astral parasite that transforms its host into an overweight southern man.