>>62697237
A group of Eldar from Craftworld Hugiv'safuk who were away when the Craftworld responded to the Necrons have boarded the Space Hulk in search of Oxythrone to purify Hugiv'safuk and rescue whatever soulstones remain.

>Our forces have taken heavy casualties traversing the Space Hulk
>some have fallen to corrupted Orks or Mon-Keigh but many simply succumbed to the corruption and wandered off
>Finally we have reached the some mutated but otherwise uncorrupted Mon-Keigh
"Hail, I Autarch Belamyn Ytharl, we seek your aid in vanquishing the forces of She Who Thirsts and retrieving a powerful artifact to undo her corruption. It is a slim hope but if we wish to spare the galaxy this vileness we must ally together"

>Be Guardsman
>Wake up and crawl out of a small mountain of beer cans, bottles, and kegs
>What the fuck happened?
>Nursing a throbbing hangover, try to get an idea of the situation
>idontthinkwereinkansasanymore.toto
>Realize I'm alone
>Those fuckers probably forgot I exist... again...
>Stagger to my feet and start walking in a random direction, not paying attention to the distinctively Aeldari fabrications in front of me

>>62697337
"I recieve your call, Asuriyani of Hugiv'safuk!"
The Craftworld is pretty fucked up right now, theres Orks and Chaos of all kinds, and the HONK button is stuck.
I even think I saw the primarch Alpharius but I'm fairly certain that was a halucination.
We're being flung down a webway to Isha-knows-where, I'm not sure whats happening right now!"

> Be I, Skitarii TX-24
> Escaped the Horror-planet in the Mechani-copter
> Magos Alexia still unconcious in back seat
> Her legs are still blown off
> Should probably fix that
> Grab some robo-legs
> Can't recall the prayer of implantation
> Oh who cares, we're hereteks now anyway
> Slam it on
> Spread some necrodermis between the fleshy bits and metal bits
> Spot Ark Mechanicus
> Huzzah.Omnisiah
> They might not be jazzed about the Heretekal shit going on
> The one such as I decides we're out of options anyway
> PunchItChewy.archaicreferences

Is the poster for Alexia still around or is TX-24's lady love gone for good?

>>62697619
"You must have Isha's favor and the might of ten Aeldari to survive so long in such a tainted place. I am glad that our warriors were left in your capable hands in my absence. Fear not brave warrior we shall return with Oxythrone and cleanse our home. I look forward to meeting you in person"
>Realize I have no idea how I was just contacted
>Or how I sent a message
>Maybe this warp dust is getting to me
>I'm pretty sure that desire to fuck my Farseer was there before
>Geeze those Mon-Keigh sure are taking a long time to answer me

>Still dancing
Where the Astartes and Sororitas when you need them?

>Be Guardsman Duke
>After a while of pained shambling, I finally come across some people
>wait... shit
>SHIT
>They're Eldar...
>...
>Fuck it.
>Might as well try and communicate with them, maybe I'll get some answers to what the fuck happened
>Spot one with a particularly fancy helmet and assume they're in charge
>nothingventured.vox
>"'scuse me, I'm sorry to intrude but I'm horribly lost and very confused. Where am I, and what happened?"

>>62697772
> Found a place on the world with no daemons in it
> Blockade the door with a space-shelf
> Suddenly start hearing voices
> Answer voice
> I'm going mad, aren't I
> No Idea where we're going
> I got a peak at our destination earlier, but don't know where it is
> Somewhere called Comerarg
> For some reason I feel like should have paid attention in Drukhari culture class at Elf-school
> Stuff like that is probably why I had the job of looking at the portals all day
> Wierd.Soulstone

>Get notified of all the crazy shit that happened while I was trying to save Sister Angela from becoming a completely overinflated bimbo
>The Canoness is here
>pleasedonttakeawaymybigtiddygf.lonely
>stop running and try to reestablish contact
>guesswhosback.slimshady
>except I'm not slim I'm a bulky 8'7" giant but hey, details

>>62697843
"Aboard a Space Hulk full of Orks and Slaaneshi sorcery. I presume by your befuddlement that you do not speak for your people. A pity but in the interests of cooperation I shall allow you to accompany us"
>UseTheMonkeighAsCannonFodder.dickery
>>62697861
>I can still feel a faint psychic connection to the brave general
"I fear for you going to the city of the Dark Kin; but I suppose it is marginally safer than a possessed Craftworld."

gnight fellow anons

>>62698472
>Still dancing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Buhi-LrSUlk
Sir there's an elder group on the ship here, one of them tried to shoot me when I was pleading for the Emperor to help us on our demise, but I swiftly kick it in the crotch, hard in fact the armor cracked a little, but for some reason it didn't pain so it could be a female.
Any suggestion sir?

>>62698575
Yes Guardsman, indeed. I say we collect all loyalist forces we know of and attempt to rectify this situation by the use of rebreathers and exorcism of necessary"
>but where do I get rebreathers
>and how do you even exorcise someone I'm Deathwatch, not Grey Knights
>I came here to purge xenos and impress bitches
>and I'm all outta bitches
>YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH.CSIMIAMI

>>62698498
>Still Lord Savage
>Aboard my ship
>Apparently there are uncorrupted eldar trying to deal with the slaaneshis
>Getting a bit bored
>Attempt to contact the Eldar
>"This is Lord Savage of The Screamers, although I do not speak for any other humans or that necron that was on the hulk, I offer the support of my forces to deal with the Slaaneshis"
>Hope that sorceror hasn't run away

>>62698498
>Be Guardsman Duke
>fuckyeah.voxcast
>Thrilled that my odds of survival just increased, and I get to hang out with hot space-elf chicks
>"Thank you, I'll do my best to help."

>>62698631
>Still dancing
>It's really soothing to here the voice of an astarte, especially at a time like this
That is an excellent start sir, I could definitley use a rebreather mask as you can see, damn these warp dust.
I must worn you that although it make not seem like it, my muscle are exhausted, as soon I get the mask and the warp dust is out of my system, I'm pretty sure I won't be able to move for a while, do you mind to carry for the time being until I can regain my stamina, sir?

>be kriegswoman
>be on a space hulk
>agriworlder pal nowhere to be found
>crusader comrade turned into a woman
>bitch threw a knife at the canoness
>this guy can’t stop dancing
>crusader thot cuts my rebreather tube
>youfuckingskank.zip
>try to find her
>everything looks like a shovel
>the walls begin to distort and fall
>everything starts to give way to horrible visions
>slink back to the corner into the fetal position
>unable to cope with the strange form reality has taken
>trazegors are everywhere
>the crusader chick has a damn tail that talks
>there’s bubbles all over
>since when are they all under water?

>>62699152
"Yes Guardsman, even the Deathwatch still obligate themselves to aid the less fortunate loyal servants of the emperor"
>See Kriegswoman collapse in the corner
>snatch her up and put her over my shoulder
>grab the guardsman
>he's still trying to cha-cha-cha in my hrip
>signal the canoness to grab the Crusader and Sister Gwyndolin
>make my way towards a decrepit imperial ship
>Holy emperor do I hope those Daemonettes in the distance don't spot us

>>62699389
>be kriegswoman
>a giant bear has picked me up off the ground to carry me back to his lair

>>62699389
>Still dancing
>Soul: Sweet Holy Terra I'm being held by an astarte, this is the greatest day in my life
Oh no no sir, not now I can still move do to all this unholy warp dust, please don't waste your energy. When by my body drop of exhaustion that's when I'll need you help.

>>62699422
>>62699455
>set the Guardsman down
>he's still doing the robot as he runs
>haul the Kriegswoman fast as I can to a safer space
>I'd deal with all this heresy in no time if the rest of my Kill Team was here
>I miss Librarian Matteus, he was such a nice guy
>stole everything tho, Bloody Magpies
>Sister Angela is doing her best to keep up
>where the fuck is the Canoness with Gwyndolin and Victor?

>>62698498
>Be me.
>Be running through halls chasing whatever the fuck was causing this that was on the pink pointie’s ship.
>Encounter non-hostile knife ears.
>Propose truce.
>And ask if they have any spare bitches.

tactical bump

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>Be me
>Thosand Sons sorcerer
>Fucking slanesshi shit
>Always makes teleporting an experience
>Where in Tzeentch's abstract urethra did i end up
>Where's my team?
>Looks like a space hulk
>Use some of that good ol warpsight
>Only "allies" are the slanesshi shits
>And i have to walk there
>Great

>Be Me
>Be Nurgling, smelliest of bois
>Been stuck on this Spess Hulk for, like, a whole forever!
>Lots of stuff to explore!
>myfavoritething.pox
>I was lonely though...
>notmyfavoritething.sad
>Now there's a lot of people here to play with!
>I'm so excited! I wonder what games they like to play?
>I know! I'll go put on that funny green hat those boys in the green stuff like to wear! Maybe they'll let me play with them?

>>62701305
>be pink horror
>where is my friend blue horror
>is that a nurgling?
>he smells
>but he looks so cute!
>crawl around Spess Hulk, must find master and make plans to capture it!

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>>62701786
>Be Thousand Sons sorcerer
>I got lost
>By the glass gardens i got fucking lost
>Ok let's try warpsight again
>An faint non slanneshi energy appears
>Wait is that a tzeenchian daemon
>Might as well try to contact it
>Open portal
>Hopefully it'll get me where i want to
>Here we go

Bump for more greentext, it'd be so sad to see this die so boringly!

Thousand sons sorcerer here, i'll be back in a couple hours, i better not see a dead fuckin thread when i come back

>>62701957
>Auspex informs me of teleportation signature nearby
>the Canoness and the other Sororitas have finally caught up
>the Aussie Guardsman and Sister Mallilory seem to have found us as well
>couldn't have been too hard considering all the strange things happening around us
>fucking heretics are here too
>at least it's not Slaanesh

>>62701957
>Be Savorius, Sorcerer of the Thousand Sons
>One of my brothers has been teleporting around
>Sure, just as planned I guess
>Tzeentch damnit, please don't get caught by all the Slaaneshi energies my brother
>Send the tzaangors first, having tits does not reduce their combat ability
>Ugh, better go find him actually
>Teleport into the space hulk
>Let's see...
>There's an orgy of pink orks and fallen eldar right here, so I could be literally anywhere.
>Fuck, not as planned

How is this not in /quest/.

>>62697237
>Be me, unclean spirit
>lesser Warp entity, not even worth the title Daemon
>Barely even sentient
>looking at the chaos and wonder how to best sate this hunger for fear and insanity
>seems like half the Warp is here
>most of them more powerful than me, and they constantly bully me about it
>screw them, I'll go do my thing
>my thing being possession
>almost no potential hosts, all the weak-willed ones are already in the grip of Slaaneshi influence
>excusemewhatthefuck.warpdust
>guess I'll go possess some item then
>find a book with chains around it at one corner of the Space Hulk, this looks important
>"Something something Hereticus Tenebrae", can't into High Gothic and all these fancy letters, whatever
>Now I have to wait for someone to find me

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> be me
> victoria samson
> god fucking dammit why does it always happen like this
> fucking dammit
> fuckyouslaaneshs.ptsd
> get set down near sororitas and canoness.
> fucking lucky ass astartes with his sealed helmet.
> dammit, I need a rebreather
> why didn't I think to bring two spares?
> feel the air clear a little bit.
> collapses against a wall.
> try to catch my breath
> fucking hell I'm a woman now, dammit
> goodbye old friend you shall be remembered.

>>62702923
Because it's not driven by a single Author but is instead free RP. Also /qst/ tends to be very serious, this is one gigantic shitpost

>>62703225
>must find master
>find book
>is there any plans in there?
>OHWHATTHEBIRD.NOTGOOD

>>62703963
>Wait for a human to arrive
>Instead it's a daemon
>Ohshit.astropathicmessage
>why are you reacting like that?
>please be reacting to the book, not me
>don't want to get my essence consumed by the more powerful Warp entity, have to keep it cool and stay still, maybe I haven't been found out yet

>>62702923
anons need to fap to something.

>>62704572
>the book is about the hereticus tenebrae
>something even those most blessed by lord Tzeentch have never quite understood
>I must bring this to a master!
>better not look at it for too long
>well, maybe just a quick peek...

>>62702450
>>62702883
>Be Thousand Sons sorcerer
>Finally out of the portal, felt like hours
>No daemon in sight
>I'm starting to revile these warp portals
>Where did i end up now
>Start to hear another adeptus astartes going on about heretics
>Ohfuck.warp
>However, i can feel another sorcerer's soul in thr ship
>If i teleport, i might end up in outer space
>But if i try to get there on foot i'll surely be detected
>Aplan.lord_of_change
>I could send a psychic scream, silent enough that non psykers won't notice a fucking think
>I hope those false emperor worshipping fools don't have a psyker

>>62702450
>Still dancing
Sir, do you have any ideas of where we may find those who are loyal to the Emperor?

>>62705299
>releasing the book from its chains, the daemon finds out this is a foolish mortal's research notes about the prophesy of darkness he seems to have gotten quite far, connecting the dots between the Seven Devils of Dread Calyx and the foretold Herald
>the Inquisitor who wrote this seems to have known more than even Tzeentch... Well, more than Tzeentch ever told you is more probable. Tzeentch knows everything.
>He even seems to have pinpointed the place the foretold gathering will take place, just a few more pages and you will know just what has to be done-
>The book's last pages are obscured by the formless oily apparition that is the incorporeal form of an Unclean Spirit
>The creature screeches and the book begins to float away, escaping from you as fast as it can down the Space Hulk's corridors

>>62703377
>be big tiddy Krieger
>big tiddy crusader broke my respirator and now I’m tripping balls
“WHY DID YOU DOOO THIS! THE WALLS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE WALLS YOU FLOOSY!?”

>>62703377
>Be big titty sister of Battle
>Be with brand new crusader GF?
>Maybe?
>Definitely a sign from the Emperor though
>Especially with the milf-canoness
“Lovely Crusader, we are continuously assaulted by Heresy because they can smell the righteous scent of the space marine. We must mask his scent with the mists around us.”

>>62705490
> fuuuuuuuuuuck
I'M SORRY OKAY! I'M SORRY!
> grab breezy into a hug
> fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
> place Breezy's head in between breasts.
> shakes her back and forth

>>62705580
>Still dancing
Hey sir look, it's an adeptus sororitas.
>Salutes
It's a pleasure to meet you
>>62705586
>Soul: Thats hot

>>62705586
“Marisa stop!”
>wait a minute...
>WAIT A MINUTE!
>WAIT A FUCKIN MINUTE!
>this isn’t marisa

>>62705805
> eek
> drop the krieger
Sorry sorry sorry!
> fuckmylife.vox
> why am I a hormonal woman.

>>62705653
>Oh hey, this guy can’t stop dancing
>Must Be affected by the mist
>...
>Why doesn’t he have tits?
“It’s a pleasure to meet you to.”
>Can’t stop imagining him with tits
>I’d say I need therapy
>But this is obviously the god emperor’s plan

>Be me, Sergeant Eisen Martellus.
>Be a Primaris Reiver sent in to space hulk to recover technology and artifacts, after a call for help was sent out.
>Be stuffed into boarding torpedo, along with 9 other reivers, and two, five man squads of Intersessors, while the rest of the company begins looting the rest of the space hulk
>Boarding torpedo begins cutting through hull, before planting us directly inside of the Hulk's inner workings.
>Auspex shows air to be filled with chemical crap.
>FuckSlanessh.png
>Quickly push our way inside, and split up into kill team.
>Oh yeah! I can't forget... Be apart of the Marines Malevolent's 4th Company.

>>62706108
> find someone hugging Breezy,
> someone that isn't me
> bitchitsmyjobtohugeveryone.smile
so ummm..... what do we do now?
> where do we go from here
> I need orders.

>>62706266
“Insure that you’ve gotten a good lungful of these gasses. If you do, the heretical beasts cannot find you as easily.”

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>>62706108
>Be Thousand Sons sorcerer
>Well that didn't work
>Might as well start going through this mess
>What the fuck is wrong with the air
>It smells like a dead eldar orgy, even after being purified by my mask
>Maybe i could get a daemonic portal going
>That be nice, with pink horrors, and warpshit
>Wait is that one of those Sisters of Battle
>With a krieger in a really big woman's mammary containers
>And somebody dancing
>Maybe i could sneak
>Nah
>How about a...fucking tzeentch how was it called
>Oh yeah, some flickering flames should really fuck with thems
>Start channeling warp energy
>Might as well go full sorcerer
>"WITNESS THE POWER OF CHAOS, FEEBLE MORTAL FOOLS"
>Also that aught to attract my brother here

>>62706122
>Be watching some more marines arrive
>Primaris? Big whoop, fuck those guys
>Wait
>Wait
>Wait
>Marines Malevolent?
>Those guys are the biggest assholes in the galaxy.
>Hehehe
>Just a little manipulation of fate
>A bit of tinkering with reality...
>And boom!
>The filtration system on their helmets is down, and backup air tanks are disabled
>This should be interesting
>The Tzaangors bring popcorn
>And regular corn

>>62706287
>As if on cue, a book floats by you at jogging speed
>clearly a sign that the effects of the gas hid you from whatever that was
>>62706314
>Said book is now floating towards you
>Your shout seems to scare it off, though, as it turns to another corridor, still fleeing from the pink horror that may or may not be giving chase anymore

>Now break dancing
>>62706266
Oh hi Marisa.
>>62706287
Trust me ma'am, I'm pretty sure we shouldn't inhale the unholy mist, it's the reason why some turn to girl and why I can't stop dancing.
>>62706314
What the fuck!
Sir, ma'am, there's traitor here.

>>62706378
> jump to her feet
Samuel!
> hug the man
> smiling radiantly beneath her helmet
I've missed you! how have you been?

>>62706266
>>62706073
>look to one
>look to the other
>look to one
>look to the other
“WHY ARE THERE TWO MARISAS!?”

>>62706586
u-ummm Breezy.... I'm Victor... This gas.... turned me female
> fucking slaanesh
> I bet she was behind this.

>Still dancing
>>62706461
>Brain cell 265: Sir the female name Marisa is touch.
>Soul: So?
>Brain cell 265: With her whole body, what do we do?
>Soul: Um, um, um um um
>Brain cell 867: Sir, blood is going towards the penis. Should we allow erect?
>Soul: Definitley not, this is not a good time to have that, epically with the size the warp taint gave us, Emperor know what could happen. Ok let me handle this
Hug are nice Marisa, especially when you're the one giving them, but please hug me later when I stop dancing, I really don't want to bring harm to you, also we're dealing with that piece of shit over there who's about to cast some shit.
>Point at >>62706314

>>62706122
>Get report from a marine breaching torpedo attaching to the ship
>It's Reivers and Intercessors
>someonemysize.happy
>place beacon in vox network, I need them to help me with all these troubled mortals and overly busty Sororitas
>except two of the Sororitas, they're mine, no touching
>I'm sure the fellow Astartes are part of some nice chapter
>Salamanders or Dorns Yellow Boyes would be great here

>>62706637
> separate from him, somewhat depressed.
O-oh.... okay. Sorry Sam
> step back, he continues to dance.
> look at Victor and Breezy
> pull them both into a hug
I'm glad you both are alive.
> smileofhappiness.innocence.

>>62706344
>"Master! Master! Did you not see the floating book?"
>It's all part of Lord Tzeentch's plan!
>we must acquire this book!

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>>62697237
>Be the golden hero
>Be really glad that all those psychos left to space
>now if there only was slightly less oxythrone whatsthat around...

>>62706664
>>62706637
>Be Thousand Sons sorcerer
>By the gods am i that fucking boring
>This shit is hard to mantain
>And i swear i saw a flying pink horror carrying a book
>Only one of them has even noticed me
>Ok let us try something different
>"LOOK, I KNOW YOU MUST BE REALLY HAPPY HAPPY TO EACH EACH OTHER ALIVE, BUT CAN YOU AT LEAST DEAL WITH THE CHAOTIC MARINE CASTING WARPFIRE"
>It's like the service years on that iron warriors ship all over again

>Still dancing
>>62706776
Thats what I was saying you traitorous scumbag.

>>62706344
>Be bored Khornate
>No idea what shenanigans are going on on the hulk
>Maybe the sorceror knows?
>Call him up
"Hey, book boy, can you use your magic shit to see what's going on on that hulk, I'm getting bored and want to see if there's anything i can steal"

>>62706838
>Oh hey, it's the nice Khornate
"Yep. Got it on crystal ball right now. Some marines malevolent boarded a bit ago and I'm seeing if I can't turn them into chicks."

>>62706878
>It's the fucking piss marines
>Remember I've been collecting their helmets since I killed a champion of theirs some time back
>Get my thunderhawk called up
>Pick up the champion's helmet
>Hang it from my pauldron
>"Alright, I'm going to to fuck with them a bit"

>>62706976
>Hooray
>The tzaangors have fetched my armchair
>Double hooray
"See if you can make them breathe in as much of that pink mist as possible. They say that the Primaris Marines are "immune to corruption",
>Munches popcorn
"But that is grox shit. Nothing is immune to corruption."

>>62706701
>finally find out the reason I am chased
>need to figure out a way to escape, can't stop to separate from the book
>suddenly, inspiration
>can get instant pass into the safety of the Warp if the book is destroyed
>there are Sororitas present
>turn back and float threateningly at the sororitas, one of them isbound to have a flamer

>>62706810
>>62706878
>Oh fuck this
>Throw the flames in their general direction
>Good enough for me
>Try to send a message to my brother
>"Hey, i don't where in this forsaken hulk i am, but i saw a pink terror grappling with a flying book, so some tzeenchtian shit is going down"
>Hopefully the slanesshi influence doesen't distort the message
>Cast portal near the group
>"ENJOY THE WARP'S NEVERENDING RIDE"
>Hopefully it'll just leave the pricks in space
>And now time to find that book

>>62707014
"I have a cunning plan"
>Land Thunderhawk somewhere safe
>Send out a universal vox message
>>62706122
"Forces of the Marines Malevolent, I am Lord Savage, I offer you an opportunity to avenge a fallen champion of your chapter, meet me here and I will take you all on alone"
>Send a nearby location with a large quantity of pink dust
>Prepare myself

>Still dancing
>See chaos fireball
LOOK OUT!!!
>Dodges fireball with back flips
>Portal out of nowhere
Fuck, hang on to something!
>Grabs something attach to wall for dear life

>>62707149
> grab on to nearby bulkhead
> fuckfuckingfuck.
> fireball goes careening into portal.
> start screaming inside of helmet..

>>62707066
>Return to scene to hopefully get the book burned to escape back into the Warp
>just a few moments too late to get in way of that fiery blast
>there is a warp portal
>immediately begin floating towards it, beyond it is safety of the Warp

>>62707114
>Be me.
>Be pissed as hell Overlord.
>Piss-yellow hardcases threaten to ruin fun.
>Intercept Lord-bro’s vox.
>Disgonbegud.gauss
>Run over to assist in whatever plan he’s got.

>>62707337
>That pimped out necron turns up
"Oi, wanna help with my cunning plan to turn the pissmarines into girls?
>So far I've befriended a bookfucker and a necron, what is even going on with my life anymore.

>>62707375
“You know it bro.”
>Order hoe army and Necron task force to hide so they can apprehend the cunts.
>Hide myself as well.

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>>62707449
> be me
> now female ex black templar chaplain
> now alpha bitch of necron pimp lord's army of hoes.
> hide close to overlord
> Crozius cane in hand
> by the emperor how has someone managed to craft shoes so uncomfortable
> and this dress itches in the worst places as well
> hide my discomfort from the dress riding up and ready bolt pistol to defend my lord in the inevitable case that this plan goes pear shaped.

>>62707149
>>62707259
>>62707332
>They're all now hanging to sweet dear life
>Loveit.Tzeentch
>See something trying to fly into the portal
>Wait
>It's the book
>If i fucking lose it, all of it's sweet, forbidden knowledge will be lost
>Notonmywatch.prospero
>Think quickly on how to go fast enough
>Idea.warp
>Rip one layer of metal of the hulk
>Hop onto it and push it with my pskyer powers
>Here we fucking go
>Reach and grab the book
>Gotcha.pink_daemon
>Wait the portal
>Try to force myself back
>No chance
>Grab the dancing fool
>And now we enter the realm of fuckery
>Hope i end up somewhere that isn't outer space

>>62707449
>Now we wait
>Wonder what happened to those robots I left behind on the craftdildo
>Hopefully they survived, will have to look for them later

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forgot the image

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>Be me, very young apprentice inquisitor
>Get sent on a mission by our inquisitor to eliminate potential heresy with my friends
> fieldtrip.jpeg
>Wearing a sweat-ass power armor with a sniper rifle, having the best start in my career possible
>Some cultists decided to summon deamons, have little bullets so decided to headshot them all
>Dunno how but it actually worked
>Last deamon decided to get up close and looks rapey, so I do a 360 no-scope.
>Praytheemperor.mp3
>MFW I actually kill him
>Felt like a badass for the next few days, until assholes cultists performs a ritual a teleport the planet into the warp and half of my friends either dies or joins chaos
>Wakes up on emperor knows where
>Dunno how I got here but I feel I joined another shitshow

>>62707531
>Fucker grabs me
You son of a bi-
>Enter portal
Fuck shit
shit fuck
>See all chaos shit
>Soul: Emperor please help me
>Grabs books
>Opens it
If you don't bring us back, I will rip and destroy this!

>>62707531
>Take the opportunity and separate from the book
>vanish into the unholy energies of the Warp, safe from predations of more powerful Warp entities
>The book, should it survive the warp transit is now in the Sorcerer's hands
>As one with a better grasp of High Gothic and curly writing, as well as last bits of chain having fallen off the cover during the chase, you can immediately read the full name of the book which translates roughly to "Findings on the Malefic: Hereticus Tenebrae and its implications"

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>>62707673
>>62707698
>Surfing down the warp currents
>Alright, just search for a current that hopefully doesn't drop me in another system
>Hear my captive scream something about ripping something
>How is he managing to stay sane
>Yell at him
>"DESTROY THAT AND I'LL IMPLODE YOUR HEART"
>See spirit leaving the book
>Fucking great, the only reliable guide in this oceanic shitstorm is gone
>Just trace myself to the nearest chaotic energy
>Khronate
>Fuck it, better than staying in the warp for infinity
>But now i have the book
>It better be fucking worth it

>See some hole is the warp, one looks like the inside of the ship I was just on.
>That is the ship I was just on
>Grab >>62707898 by the helm
>Uses his body as a launch pad
>Goes inside hole
See ya faggot.

>>62707898
>Sorceror appears infront of me
>Not my sorceror friend
"You're not a fucking pissmarine, the fuck are you doing here?"

>>62707898
>delivers sensual headpats

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>>62705580
>>62703377
>>62706640
>>62706073
>>62706287
>>62706621
>Be Canoness Helga of the local Order of the Golden Light
>watching over what's left of the dregs and schola dropouts the Order gave Tiddius Majoris to work with
>FrakkingEccelesiarchalBureaucrats.righteousfrustration
>Warp dust has turned all the already lewdified sisters I've found into perverts making out with clearly warp-tainted women
>I'm slowly being affected by the warp dust myself too
>Definitely going to need new armor after this
>FlashbackstoInnocenceVIfiasco.ptsd
>Only beacon of sanity seems to be Primaris Deathwatch Marine that looks like he's from the Dark Angels chapter
>He seems rather... attached to Sister Mallory and Sister Angela
>PossibleImpureDesires.heresy?
>Decide not to say anything since I'm kinda fantasizing about what he looks like under that helmet myself
>NotLewdJustCurious.honest
>Smack Sister Gwyndolin in the head for suggesting the others breathe in more warp dust.
>"I think we've all had enough gasses for the time being Sister."
>Except the Deathwatch Marine
>Throne he's probably super hot under that helmet
>Raise my flamer and look around for any Slaaneshi daemons that might be nearby
>Wonder why no one has tried to contact Tiddius Majoris' planetary governor
>That paper-pushing fatass and the administratum was on one of the planet's three moons, he shouldn't be affected by corruption yet
>...right?

>>62708022
>Ask if he brought either hoes or swag.
>Gotta get that bling or those bitches.

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>Be apprentice inquisitor
>Apparently there's warp fuckery everywhere, dunno how the fuck I got here and everyone is batshit insane
>Don't have many bullets for my sniper, better not shoot everything that lives
>Wish someone could pick me up and explain everything
>MFW when I see warp dust everywhere
>pleasenotthisshitagain.jpeg

>Drops in front of Breezy and Marisa
Ow
Hey, I'm alive.
>Tries to move but muscle is exhausted from endless dancing
I can't move but I'm alive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DJY5aihSKs
Hey Marisa I could really use that hug now.
>Common Sense Brain Cell: Sir we just went threw the warp
>Soul: Oh shit you're right um
Scratch that let me get checked first.
Thank the Emperor I'm alive.

>>62706344
>Be me, Sergeant Eisen Martellus. Primaris Reiver of the Marines Malevolent.
>Be walking through the space hulk. Grav-chute all fleek, four and a half foot long knife, glimmering like a boss. When suddenly the Intersessors start complaining about their wargear not functioning properly
>Betchaoshadsomethingtodowiththis.gif
>They end up taking off their helmets, and quickly rework the internals, within less than a minute.
>Thank Papa Pater Cawl, for giving us all the proper rites to fix and maintain our own wargear.
>We keep going, though I make sure to keep an eye on the Intersessors.
>Call me crazy, but I'll stab anyone who starts screaming that I should suck their dick...

>>62706640
>>62707114
>Eventualy start hearing about two different calls.
>Caller ID says ones chaos, the other one is some pussy dark angel, bitch.
>Send them both to voicemail, before homing in on the marine's signal, and walk towards it.
>Bet he'll have an unfortunate accident *just* before we get there... Probably with an unfortunate knife to the back of his skull.
>And if he dies... well, who's to say soneone shouldn't take his stuff, and gift it to our chapter?

>>62707994
>>62708022
>>62708105
>Wait what are you doing
>The fucker uses me as a launchpad
>He still has the book
>Waitno.chaos
>Too late
>Appear out of the warp
>Finally, coherent colours
>Almost makes me forget the SEETHING RAGE of losing my book
>Hear a voice
>Must be the Khronate
>He's asking what am i fucking doing here
"Your signal was the fucking closest thing to get me out of the warp"
"Besides, what's a pissmarine, do you mean an Imperial Fist?"
>What other chapter could have "piss" as it's paint colour
>Oh wait, Marines Malevolent
>Just as i'm about to leave to get my fucking book back, a metallic voice asks for hoes
"Is that a fucking Necron?'
>Wheredidiendup.warp

>>62707898
>>62708189
aside from the value of knowledge for the sake of it, the book is now worthless. It could have had a more profound effect some 200+ years earlier, but now it only has knowledge no one can really use in a meaningful way. Tzeentch would have most certainly liked getting it, though.

>>62708234
knowledge for it's own sake is the best knowledge

>>62708080
> oh shit...
> she looks.... familiar
Pardon me Canoness... but you weren't present at the fall of the Innocence IV convent were you?

>>62708151
YOU'RE ALIVE
> exclaim happily
> hug Samuel happily
I was so worried, please don't do that again. Are you okay? Is anything broken, how did you even get here?
> tearsofjoy.relief

>Brain Cell 745:Sir I'm getting reading that the warp dust is entering our system again.
>Soul: Again? I thought that portal sucked it out all out of the ship
>Brain Cell 745: Yes but not enough sir.
>Soul: Well, how much did we inhaled?
>Starts doing the tango with >>62708336
>Brain Cell 014: More that enough apparently
No more, please no more, my muscle are aching, can some find a rebreather?
>Soul: By the Emperor why, fucking chaos and their chaotic bullshit, atleast we're alive. For now. *sigh*

>>62708189
>Two saved Bookfuckers so far
>>62707014
>Call up my sorcerer friend
"Found another sorcerer, what do you want me to do with him"

>be greater daemon of shamwow
>be thirsty af
>slaanesh is sensually whispering in my ear
>fuck this person, fuck that person, be a slutty lewd fuck
>thow excessive amounts of warp dust in more places
>dreams of selling things across the sector are long gone
>this hulk is my home now
>OoooOOOoooOOOooohhh CANONESS!
>>62708080
>materialize out of the mist behind that bitch
"HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH AN EXCITING NEW OFFER: A FISTFUL OF WARP DUST!"

>>62708420
> she grabs her rebreather and shoves it onto his face..
> oh shit.... this was a mistake.
> immediately grabs the canoness and begins to do the tango with her.
I'M SORRY!
> smiles apologetically
> radianceofathousandsuns.cute.

>be me, Eisel Martellus.
>Start silently singing in my head as we walk, because no one can tell me not to.
>Making my way downtown.mp4
>Gonna plant explosives on a Warpdrive
>with my primaris friends.mp4
>My bitch gonna make me a sandwich!.mp4
>Nanananana!
>Collateral damage!
>Nananana!
>Fuck you all up now!
>Nananana!
>Fuck all this fucking warp dust!
>Nananana!
>No more spaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaa aaaaace hulk!

>Be a sneeky git
>I painted meezelf the color purple so dey kant seez me
>kommandoonamission.sneeky
>dont reely know how I got 'ere
>last I rememberz that git of a weirdboy wuz doin sum funny what did 'e call 'em?
>experements, ye dats it
>anywayz he zaps me wit dis funny ray and 'ere I pop on sum big ship
>looks old
>might as well see what I can find
>maybe there be sum boyz around
>oh wait theyz kant be able to see me, Im purple
>zog it letz see what I can find on dis 'ere wreck, maybe sum scrap

>Restarts to dance
>Places rebreather back on >>62708514
Marisa trust you do not want to suffer this way. This warp dust will remove your free will of having motor skills.

>Be apprentice inquisitor with a sweat-ass power armor and sniper rifle
>I try my best not to breath the warp dust, no way in hell I'm getting teleported again
>Walks in a general direction in front of me until I meet someone
>Starts checking what do I have in my inventory: two pistols with 4 full magazines each, a sniper rifle with two full magazines, a nice knife and yellow warp gel the cultist assholes used to bring me into this mess
>Notice I don't have any food
>At least it can't get any worse

>Still dancing
>>62708485
Too late deamon.

>>62708514
>glares at the cuteness dancing with the cannoness
>its exessively cute
>sooo fucking cute
>grab the Private
>run off down the hall towards my ship
>be butt fucking naked

>>62708577
> she looks around for someone
> gets grabbed
> ohshitwhat.warp
> oh hey there's a person
ummmm..... excuse me person, but everyone else is back that way. Can you put me down?

>Still dance
Hey come back here!
>Chases after >>62708608 by prancing like a ballerina

>>62698986
>Some Khornate contacted us. They aren't known for trickery but it seems prudent to ignore the agents of the ruinous powers.
>>62699059
>The Guardsman starts following the War Party
>>62699855
>A Necron
>There are better allies but at least they are civilized
>Surely they won't suddenly and inevitably betray us
>Plus that armored woman with him is kind of hot
>wait.soulstone
>Don't think lewd thoughts
"Very well Necrontyr. We shall put aside our ancient enmity and ally"
>Turn towards sexy- I mean armored woman
>TotallyInControl.pathoftheleader
"And may I ask your name Mon-Keigh? Have your people made alliance with the Necrontyr?"

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>>62708651
> oh shit Marisa just got stolen
> OHHELLNO.RAGE
GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKING WHORE
> charge after the slaaneshi daemonette trying to kidnap hi- her comrade.

>>62708608
>Stop singing and moving, as I hear the thumping of oversized, overweight feet, stomping down the hallway.
>Betitsnurgle.png
>Tell everyone to get into cover.
>After a moment, a large, overweight fatass of SLANESSH, comes running along. Some mortal woman in its sweaty hands
>Lookatthoseruckingcankles!.jpeg.
>Let the fatass run past with its prize. We've got better things to do.
>Neetsgonnaneets.gif
>Keep making my way downtown.

>>62708721
> sprint past astartes
GET BACK HERE YOU BITCH!
> power claymore in hands
> WHY DID THESE LADY LUMPS HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING LARGE

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>Been half an hour I started walking
>Why is it so hard to find anyone?
>Remember I had junk from a dubious toaster-fucker, said it was a repaired vox-caster
>Better than die of starvation

Is anyone alive on this emperor-forsaken whatever fuck hole this is?

>>62708694
> look at the Eldar
> oh great an eldar
> arrogantbastards.rude
> stands to full height,
> tower over the woman
> what a.... well made posterior
> I'm gonna claim you for my lord
Marietta Alfred, a..... pleasure.

>>62708772
>Be Eisen Martellus.
>Be starring blankly, at the stupidity that has started running past me and my brothers.
>After a moment, finally manage a blink.
>Mortals are weird...
>Shrug, as it's not my problem whatsoever
>We've got a space hulk to blow up, and 47.49 billion lives, out of 48.21 billion, to end.
>All to stop an ork waaaagh, of only a few tens of thousands.
>More than acceptable collateral damage.
>Keep making my way towards the Warpdrive.

>>62708791
> see some kid as I'm carried past.
> wave to the kid with a brilliant smile
Hello~ I'm alive... can you help me.
> no seriously can someone tell this woman to stop.
> wait....
> amIgettingkidnapped.airhead

>>62708568
>be sneeky git
>wanderin around dis wreck
>its big
>might be wunna does space hulkz dat the boss wuz talking about
>anyway
>itz quiet in 'ere, no one around
>or at leest I dont fink so
>wats dis I hear?
>it's arguin or its fightin
>letz go dat way
>kreepin up an I see wunna dem long ear gits
>zog
>they neva be fun, tellyport in, make sum funny bizniz an' then tellyport out
>I'm gonna stab him
>good fing they kant see me, cause I'm purple
>zog
>theyre be wunna does robot gits as well, why they not fightin, 'ent they enemees or sumthin'?
>eh, more gits to stab
>get me trustee choppa and start sneekin'
>'erewego.gorkan'mork

>Standing around
>Looks like that Khronate guy is trying to contact someone
>Wait, isn't warp usage taboo for Khornates?
>Notlikeigiveashit.daemon
>Might as well try to find my fucking book
>But how
>I know, i'll use the warp to attach myself to something's vision
>Might as well use that book stealing fool's eyes to see if he still has it (>>62708651)
>Concentrate
>Itisagoodpain.psyker
>Finally connect and...what the fuck am i seeing
>Is that a female astartes chasing a fat fucking slanesshi daemon
>Lady astartes swerves and chases something else
>Cut signal
>I wish i had popcorn
>Or aledari soulstones, they make a most pleasinf sound when crushed

>Running towards the >>62708608 by prancing
>See that the deamon have balls
>Souls:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2_lJ2bGltE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5YQGS2wrVU

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>>62708830
>See someone getting carried away, but too dark to see the kidnapper
>BlessTheEmperorImNotAlone.voxcast
>Starts running after her, try to look intimidating to the kidnapper

STOP YOU... YOU... FIEND BEFORE I EXTERMINATE YOU AND... FLAY YOU ALIVE AND STUFF!

>>62708105
>It seems the piss marines aren't coming
>Guess I'll go hunt them down
>Ask the necron if he wants to come with
>>62708863
>Ask the sorcerer if he can locate them for me

>>62708643
>be stealing hoe
>gonna add it to the collection of hoes on the ship
>some soon-to-be faggots are chasing me
>didn't even make them faggots
>everyone is just turning into women and getting bigger tits for whatever reason
>its just breathable drugs
>these people are more heretical than me
>slither faster back to the ship
>maybe I can teach them my new religion
>oh yeah Im carrying a human
>hello human
>god this bitch is adorable

>>62708876
>>62708896
>>62708863
>>62708949
>during the chase, the book captured from the Sorcerer falls to the floor with one of the last pages open
>an illustration of an insane clockwork mechanism shown on the pages along with a note that reads "The beginning and the end" can be seen on the page

>Sing The Nutcracker: March
Du nu, nu nu, du nu, nu nu, du nu, nu nu, nu nu.
KICK!
>Kicks >>62708949 so hard in the back of the head almost everyone heard a load CRACK.

>>62708827
>Be savorius
>Damn asshole marines managed to fix their air filters
>This calls for more drastic measures
>...mainly just breaking them again really
>But MORE this time
>Let's see...
>Proper frequency
>Tensile Strength
>Pressure differences
>Then add in a dash of warp magic to make it all fall into place and...
>There we go, that should have cursed the filtration systems on their power armor
>...
>And also on power armor in general in the area around them.
>Isn't Savage over there too?
>...
>Shit he's going to be getting a mouthful of that mist too

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>>62708949
>Be me, apprentice inquisitor in a sweat-ass power armor equipped with a sniper rifle, lost on emperor knows where
>A gal asks me for help and being chasing her since
>sees >>62709005 kicking a deamon so hard I can hear it crack
>what an absolute madman
>mfw I see the deamon turning back and it looks really rapey

>>62709005
>turn head all the way around
>eyes wide
"Uh nuh uh!"
>use one of my eight arms to grab the cunt

>>62708949
> start beating on the woman's back
HELLLLP~
> see victor running after me
VICTOR HELP!

>>62709021
>Start smelling that fucking dust
>Oh fuck
>Pray to Khorne for protection
>No reply
>Guess I'm gonna have to find these Marines before my inevitable feminisation
>>62708863
>Grab the sorcerer, start running

>>62709076
RIP Savage's corruption-free life

>>62709049
> the woman stops
> jump forward and move to slice off the arms holding her comrades
UNHAND MY COMRADES YOU CUNT!

>>62709053
>Daemon-
>No...
>Well, yes
>Daemon who is unwittingly serving the Emperor by spreading this wonderful mist is kidnapping aqauntainces
>Following after
"You must breathe in the mist! It's stupid heretic brain can't notice you if you breathe the mist!"
>Totally rational
>Not at all insane

>Gets grab by >>62709049
>Inside the brain everyone is panicing
>Soul: Quick pull a Kratos
>Brain Cell 581: A what?
>Soul: Gouge her fucking eyes out
>Gouges >>62709049 eyes out
>Deamon blood spray everywhere

>>62709107
> call back over her shoulder
IF YOU TELL ANYONE ELSE TO BREATHE THE MIST, I WILL CUT OFF YOUR TITS!

>>62708914
>>62708998
>The Khronate wants me to locate pissmarines
>Tell him that i can, but no portals, the slanneshi influnce is too strong
>Alright how could i do this?
>Guess i'll
>Wait what was that
>OH SHIT IS MY BOOK
>Run towards it
>The book appears to have landed on a picture of a heavily corrupted clockwork
>"The beggining of the end. What am i supposed to do with this information"
>Still, i hang it on my belt
>Time to find pissmarines
>Wait maybe that woman astartes can help
>Connect to her
>Itisagreatpain.overtake
>She's chasing something
>It's yellow and dosen't seem to give a shit
>Yeah, Marine Malevolent
>Sever link
>Turn to Khronate
"Found one of them. About two or three corridors from here, if the warp didn't distort what i saw"
"Now let's get moving,i have a great deal of curiosity to see what patterns warpfire gives to ceramite armor"
>Burn the false emperor's cultists
>I love irony

>>62708272
>Be Canoness Helga
>Obviously warp tainted crusader is asking me if I was on Innocence IV
>"No, I was on Innocence VI, two planets out, when it was hit by Slaanesh cultists dumping warp dust into the atmosphere. It was... not pleasant."
>WhoamIkiddingitwashot.mildheresy
>>62708485
>Suddenly grabbed by female guardswoman and forced into a tango
>FullDrillSargeantMode.activated
>"UNHAND ME-"
>>62708608
>>62708485

>Suddenly get a fistful of warp dust thrown in my face and guardswoman is snatched by a fat greater daemon of Slaanesh named 'Billy Mays'
>Coughing heavily, inhaling way too much concentrated warp dust
>Oh for God-Emperor's sake not again
>Feel my already large bust get heavier and suddenly very aroused. Rear is probably plumper too
>SexyMilfCanonessIsEvenSexierNow.warpdust
>"Damn it, not again!"

>>62708772
>>62709045
>>62709049
>>62709053
>>62709106

>Chase after the Crusader with my flamer ready to burn daemonette alive
>Would grab my chainsword, but I don't have time
>I've seen what Slaanesh daemons do to people, I don't want that cure private to get corrupted by that.
>"Stand and... ha... face me Slaaneshi whore."

>>62709107
>Hear Gwyndolin spouting practically heretical nonsense
>swat in the back of head with my gauntlet
>"SISTER GWYNDOLIN! CONTROL YOURSELF OR SO HELP ME I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU STAYED TO DIE ON TIDDIUS MAJORIS!"

>>62708745
>What is a pleasure chaplain
>Who cares I just want her to dominate me like the dirty eldar slu-
>No!
>Bad thoughts!
"Uh pleasure to meet you. My warband and I are looking for the Oxyclean that we sensed on this ship. It is of vital importance to both our people that we obtain it."

>>62709076
>Feel an arm around my helm
>Wait what is happening
>I don't think he heard me
>And why is the the dead eldar orgy smell coming back
>Oh shit

>>62709076
"Sup bro"
>>62709094
"I got you, anti-warp fuckery in every box of Khorne Flakes, here you go. Just go grab me some nerd skulls and we even"

>>62708694
>>62708851
>be sneeky git
>I fink I'm close enouff now that dey wont see me komin'
>me choppa iz ready
>timetosneek.purple
> oi wats diz
>there be more than the long ear and da bot
>there be 'umies as well
>zog, lets see if I can screw wti dem
>sneekytime.mork
>go up to wunna the humies and take sumfing off 'is belt an throw it at the long ear
>this'll give me a right laff
>lets see if they find out
>timetozog.gork

>>62709021
>Be me, Eisen Martellus. Primaris Reiver sergeant.
>Finally manage to make it to the nearest Warpdrive on this forsaken space hulk.
>Order the Intersessors to start overloading it, as well as to upload program "Oscar Foxtrot Foxtrot Echo November Bravo Alpha Charlie Hotel- Can Can."
>While this is happening, the Intersessors begin complaining about their respirators not functioning.
>They spend several moments trying to fix it., But to no avail.
>It seems it's actually broken...
>BetChaossucksdickforcrack.png
>No matter.... Once this Warpdrive overloads. The fifty thousand Orks below, will be annihilated, along with 47.71 billion of the total 48.21 billion humans below.
>That'll stop the orks, before they can POSSIBLY make their waaagh a reality!
>Once everything is in place, the speakers all across the ship, similatiously activate.
https://youtu.be/4Diu2N8TGKA

>>62709113
>smack him in the face with a fistfull of warp dust
>smack him with another hand
>and another cause I got limbs to spare
>>62709106
>grab this cunt by the crotch before throwing her into the wall
>laugh like a mad lad even though Im missing an eye
>Oh canoness is moving again
>wave to the canoness
>Ima sell that bitch so much pyromethium
>bolter bitches love pyromethium

>>62709141
> see the canoness with a flamer
If you use that and burn my comrades, I'll show you why you found nothing left to purge when you arrived at the convent on Innocence IV

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>>62708949
>Be apprentice inquisitor in a sweat-ass power armor equipped with a sniper rifle
>It was supposed to be a simple mission, kill "potential" heretics, gets teleported in s shithole and now facing a greater deamon
>starts shooting with my twin pistols
>>62709141
>Now there's another gal I don't know
>>62709107
>Tells us to breath the dust, like I'm gonna use warp fuckery again, no teleportation ever
>>62709133
>This guys seems pretty chill, I'd do worse probably if a crazy bitch like that tries to bullshit me like this

>>62709181
> pull hotshot laspistol out of holster,
> put it into the daemonette's mouth
> pull the trigger
LET GO OF ME YOU FIEND!

>>62709201
>head gets blown off
"Uh nuh uh!"
>be missing my head
>don't give a shit
>we going to this ship nigga
>start running up the boarding platform into thicker warp mist

>>62709162
>Drop Sorcerer now I know where I'm going
>>62709164
>Feel some kind of corruption war raging throughout my body
>>62709172
>Burst into the room with the Pissmarines
>Axe and pistol ready
"Sup bitches"

>>62709221
HELLLLLLP!
> squirm a little
> fall out of her arms
> sprint in the opposite direction
AAAAAAAAAAA
> hide behind canoness
> tears in eyes
Please kill that thing... please just kill it.
> Puppydogeyes.pict

>Gets slapped
>Still dance
>I'm already affected by your warp dust foul slut!
>That slap really hurts tho
>See >>62709201 shoot>>62709181 in the mouth
Good job Marisa!
>>62709221 Still moves
Fucking chaos and it's groxshit
>Jumps on to >>62709221, wrap my legs on her neck and a choke hold and continue to gouge her eyes out even more
Take this bitch, let here go

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>>62709221
>deamon's fleeing with the gal
>don't want to be left alone gain
>Jumps on the deamon's back, sometimes I wish I would think things through before doing it
>gal escpaing the deamon
>fuckme.jpeg

>>62709223
>Be following close behind.
>Order army of hoes to flood piss hardcases, while necrons and ranged hoes shoot,
>Personally challenge the fanciest cunt to a fight.

>>62709262
>>62709283
>become one with the mist once again
>disappate into gas
>as he vanishes you hear a faint
"Uh nuh uh!"
>daemonettes start appearing from all sides
>they're making out
>they're fingering
>they notice you
>you are now on the craftworld

>>62709283
> grab boltgun off of sling
> fire at >>62709221 legs
> empty the magazine as it clicks empty.

>>62709325
Craftworld's fucking gone

>>62709348
>a fainter
"not all of it!"

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>>62709172
>Be Savorius
>Shit, these marines might blow all this to hell before the plan is complete.
>Fuck, only one damn solution I can really do at this point
>Lower psychic defenses, start channeling the pink mist heavily into their chamber
>You want to know why I didn't do that earlier?
>It's because-
>Suddenly be a chick
>Yep, that's why
>All is bust.jpg

>>62709223
>Be me, Eisen Martellus.
>My eyes widen as a khorne marine suddenly appears inside a room with ten Reivers, and ten Intersessors. All of which are armed and bigger than him.
>Now this sacrifice is definitely worth it! We're killing 50thousand Orks, 47.71 billion already dead humans, and who are likely apart of chaos!
>This is definitely more than just collateral at this point.
>Offenbach's Can Can, playing over the speaker as a countdown to death.
>Pull out knife with a gleeful expression hidden behind my skull mask.
>"YOU WANNA GET FUCKED BY A KNIFE!?!"
>My nineteen other brothers do the same. Their 3 foot long and 4 foot long knives, glimmering in the light of the overloading warpcore

"CAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET ANALED BY 20 KNIVES!_

>>62709376
“YOU WANNA GET FUCKED BY GAUSS?”
>Order to fire on the pissmarines.

>>62709376
>Accept the Slaaneshi corruption, fuck Khorne, he was a dick anyway
>Start fucking channeling the pink mist into the room, helping my sorcerer friend
>Let the Necron's hoes hold the marines off
>How long can they hold out before it overtakes them I wonder

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>>62709182
>>62709262
>>62709221
>>62709291


>Be Canoness Helga
>Did that little Crusader slut try to give me, a Throne-blessed, Canoness orders?
>UrgeToPurgeRising.righteousfury
>Guardswoman escapes and flees behind me
>Good she's in perfect makeout range
>Waitwhatno.heresy?
>Point flamer at Greater Daemon to purge with righteous fury
>suddenly it vanishes, we're in some kind of corrupted part of the craftworld (guess this Greater Daemon snagged a piece before it disappeared into the Warp), and there's daemonettes all around them
>So much heresy so little time
>Open up with flamer, laughing with righteous glee at the chance to purge so many perverted daemons at once
>TotallyNotTryingToIgnoreTheUrgeToJoinThem.extraheresy

>>62709327
> realize that the warp core is gonna overload
> sprint past the marines malevolent
> nobodylikesyou.cunts
> look at the warp core.
> see something to stop the overload process
> begin to undo their work.
> fuckingcunts.anger

>>62709170
>Did somebody just throw a root vegetable at me?
>At least I hope that's a root vegetable
>DetachablePhallus.slaaensh?

>>62709448
>Be Sister Gwyndolin
>Helping Canoness kill these sexy, sexy daemons
>DearemperorthatswhatIwanttolooklike.megaheresy
>"Your form, both in combat and in body, is perfect Canoness! Show them what true beauty is!"

>>62709447
>A World Eater Marine rejects me for Slaanesh
>I will give him a castigation that will echo into legend.

"Do you even lift bro"

>>62709448
> draw power claymore
> turn and decapitate a daemonette appearing to lunge at the canoness's rear.
Keep aware of your surroundings my lady.
> I know what's going through your head
> I've seen that look on someone like you before.

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>>62709448
>>62709182
>>62709262
>Be me, apprentice inquisitor with a sweat-ass power armor and equipped with a sniper rifle
>Suddenly the deamon dissapear, good news
>Lost somewhere with gals, they seems nice if they can calm their tits for a second
>Surrounded by deamonettes, bad news
>Try to look badass, maybe I can impress them

I WILL DEFEAT YOU FOR GOOD DEAMONS! PREPARE TO DIE!

>I bet they like this

>Still dancing
Great we're are we now?
>See a bunch of deamonettes
>Nightmare haved became real
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyIxdOctioo
Oh for fucks sake.
>See >>62709448 buring them
Woo hoo, Adeptus Sororities to the recuse, burn them, burn them all!!

>>62709448
>you hear a scream as you light your flamer
>a hand materializes from the mist and grabs it
>running off with it

>>62709519
>Khorne's gonna fucking murder me
>Not even scared
>Basically helped every god other than nurgle recently
>Murdered for khorne
>Schemed for Tzeentch
>Tried to feminise marines for Slaanesh
>Fight me mate
>Khorne's just an angsty teen throwing shoes at the wall
>Slaanesh is literally a whore
>Tzeentch is a lonely neckbeard
>Fuck the gods

>Grabs >>62709580 and do the tango
>Yells at everyone else
GET HER BITCH, SHOOT, STAB, BLOW US THE FUCK UP, JUST SENT HER BACK TO THE WARP!!!
>Throws her in the air, catches her and continue to dance with her.

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>>62709447
>Oh Tzeentch, that motion blur really kicked in
>Where am i?
>Why does the Khronate now have slanneshi energy?
>Get up from the ground and gather my thoughts
>A bolter shell flies past me
>Whatinthegoddamm.greatocean
>Looks like an all out skermish broke out
>Is that Offenbach's Can Can?
>How did someone get access to that pre-heresy shit
>Feel an incredible amount of warp energy
>Idea
>Time to summon a fuckload of daemons
>Hopefully the warp energy generated by such a ritual will generate a current strong enough for me to get the fuck out
>Rip a chunck of metal off the hulk
>Use my psker fuck you powers to make it levitate
>Fly towards the clusterfuck and the signal

>>62709631
>you grab a disembodied arm with mist coming from its stump
>the creature is one with the mist

>>62709666
> realize that this creature is one with the mist
> SHIT.VOX
> grab canoness, Marisa, and Gwyndolin, and begin sprinting out of the mist.
> fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
> clear the deepest parts of the mist, near the docking tube.

>>62709666 turns into mist
Emperor damn this fiend
>Grabs flamethrower
>Pass it to >>62709448
CATCH!
>Prances back to group

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>>62709666
>>62709631
>>62709523
>>62709518
>>62709448
>>62709707
>>62709710
>Killing deamonettes, a single bullet for each of their skulls
>Thanks emperor things are simple again
>sees everyone fleeing and the greater deamon becoming one with the mist
>dontleavemealonewiththis shit.vox
>runs to them and blasting near deamons

>>62709710
>begin groping samuel
>they grab and pull him deeper into the pink mist

>>62709710
> as I pass Samuel, I scoop him up too.
> by the emperor, these people are heavy
> somuchlewdness.heresy
How can we find that which we breathe?!
> notice person in power armor and motion for him to follow.

>Be Guardsman Duke
>Scratch that. Exposure to Warp Dust has... complicated things...
>Now Guardswoman Daisy
>BytheThrone.gold
>I've got boobs now.
>I HAVE BOOBS NOW! YES!
>Run up and give that suddenly very cute Eldar a biiiiiiiig hug, with lots of tiddie pressing

>>62709447
>Be Slaanesh
>Khornate just accepted my power
>FUCKING YES!
>HAVE SOME MORE!
>Channels a few "gifts" into him
>Not gonna let Khorne steal a prize like this from me like he did with Khaine
>Wait, this guy leads a group of Khornates as well
>Hehehe...
>Follow the leader, as they say

>eight arms start to materialize around the pink and dimly lit halls
> each arm weilding a curved sword or a whip
>you hear laughing all around
>the daemonettes are laughing and start dancing
>crab claws everywhere surrounding the party
>its a trap

>>62709580
>>62709523
>>62709518
>>62709528
>>62709532

>Be Canoness Helga
>Everyone is rallying around me
>Because I have a flamer and I am just that bad-ass
>Suddenly greater daemon arm appears from the wrap dust mist and grabs my flamer
>"GIVE THAT BACKYOU WARPSPAWN SKANK!"
>Suddenly get thrown back to me by prancing Guardsman
>"Huh. That'll work."
>Gets back to barbecuing daemonettes and slowly starts to back up, trying not to think about how sexy Gwyndolin looks in her armor right now.

>>62709763
>"Let's get out of this craftworld section first and then we can worthy about breathing normal air. Get this fight on back on relatively even ground!"
>Burning everything Slaaneshi thing that comes into view as I start backing up as fast as I can while holding the Greater Daemon arms and daemonettes at bay

>>62709787
>That Mon-Keigh cannon fodder is now a woman
>She's rubbing up against me
>That feels amazing
>FodderIsForEating.lewdthoughts
>No!
>Stop it!
>Maybe if I make out with her the lewd thoughts will go away

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>>62709833
>I just want to simply kill deamons and heretics
>Now I'm on a shitty ship or something with shitty deamons and shitty greater deamon
>It's all those cultists fault and their stupid chaos yellow gel
>Prepare to shoot the greater deamon's arm off

Need some sleep, don't let thr chaos gods kill Savage

>>62709883
>none of the arms are attached to a daemon
>they're just floating there

>>62709861
> pick up Canoness, Gwyndolin, and Marisa as I spot the place where the space hulk crashed into the Craftworld
> point to the broken wall
There, that is our way out!

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>>62709903
>The greater deamon's arms are actually floating in the mist, no main body to be seen
>Each arm has a weapon, better shoot that than nothing, I'll let the others handle the deamonettes
>Shoots 2-3 arms
>praytheemperoritdoessomething.jpg

>>62709861
> open fire with boltgun at any daemonettes who get too close.
> fire hotshot laspistol with offhand.

>>62709936
>Her boobs give her super strength
>BlessingsOfTheEmperorAndOrSlaanesh.jpg

>>62709944
>the arms poof into the mist
>they vanish
>>62709952
>there are too many and they manage to grab you

>>62709967
> she beats one off and grabs her combat shotgun as she looks to the sister (>>62709952)
with the laspistol.
SISTER CATCH!
> throw boltgun with extra ammo to her.
> fire get free as she blows the head off of one of them and backs up shoulder to shoulder with the party.

>>62709936
>>62709952
>>62709967

>Be Canoness Helga
>By the Emperor this Crusader's strong!
>HolyTerraThatTurnsMeOn.ImpureThoughts
>Shake head violently and focus on one of the daemonettes as they grab Marisa
>Shove business end of flamer in daemonette's face and pull trigger
>"BURN WARPWHORE!"
>glance down at Crusader again now that Marisa's free
>"THEN HURRY UP AND RUN!!!"

>Picks up >>62710008
Come lets go!
Begins to dance to the ship with Marisa

>>62710027
> sprint back into the space hulk canoness and Gwyndolin on her back and everyone else close behind
> runninginthe90s.sprint.
> throw them down and collapse to her knees as she tries to catch her breath.

>>62709878
>Be Guardswoman Daisy
>By the Emperor, hes wonderful to hug!
>"Why are you looking at me like that, Exarch-kun?"

>be kriegswoman
>everyone left my halucinating ass behind
>shivering around all these horrible warp-spawned terrors
>not sure what's real
>whip out flamer and start blasting it into the mist

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>Be apprentice inquisitor with a sweat-ass power armor and equipped with a sniper rifle
>Blast off another 2-3 arms as others are heading to the exit
>I'm about to be abandonned again
>tries to join the others
>mfw I get grabbed by something and the deamonettes are closing in

>Sees >>62710106 get grabbed
Fuck
>Twirls Marisa to the ship
>Prances to the Apprentice

>>62710106
>get dragged into a pile of vile slaaneshi drugs

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>>62710135
>don't be me, an apprentice inquisitor in a sweat-ass power armor with a sniper rifle
>sees the guy trying to save him
>slowly gets dragged to >>62710152
>if I'm gonna die a pathetic death, at least I'll try to look calm... for 3 seconds

>if I dies I hope he'll think of me as a badass

>>62710200
>is %100 getting laid by six daemonettes

>>62710086
>Must resist lewd urges
>She's talking me to me
>Isha help me I want to shut her up by shoving my breasts in her mouth
"I.. I'm not an Exarch I'm an Autarch"
>Where is the rest of the warband? Did they leave me or did I love them?
>Lean in for a kiss
>See another sexy Mon-Keigh run by
>She's carrying other Mon-Keigh females
>That Cannoness kinda looks like my mom
>I want to fuck here
>Grab the adorable Mon-Keigh and run after them
>EldarMilfThinkingLewdThoughts.horny
>That barely made sense
>I think this mist is getting to me

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>>62710083
>>62710135
>>62710083
>Flying over the battle with my improvised platform
>Suckitplebs.magik
>The slannshi shit suddenly rises
>What in the goddamm
>Oh yeah the craftworld
>See the ragtag group with theat dancing,stealing undesirable with them
>A_plan.tzeentch
>Their souls would make a great sacrifice to open my big summoning portal
>See the book stealer go back into the hole
>I'll get him later
>Redirect my makeship disk of tzeentch in their direction
>Sword raised, cast the clasdic Bolt of Tzeentch
>This shit is going to be stupendously fun

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>Be Sororitas Letina
>Survivor from the Order of the Golden Light Convent on Tiddius Majoris
>My power barely fits because of the Warp-damned xenos-sorcery that corrupted the world into falling for Slaanesh
>Never going to make fun of that "Honored Dreadnought" Mallory again
>All the warp dust on damn space hulk made it next to impossible for me to think straight
>All I know is I've got my lascannon, and there are enemies around me
>Wander blindly into corrupted craftworld area.

>>62710200
>>62710213
>>62710135
>See daemonettes trying to mount someone in the distance
>Kinda want to join in, even if I know I shouldn't
>IsItHeresyIfTheCanonessDoesn'tFindOut.lewdthoughts

>Still dancing
>A bunch of deamonettes
>What do I do?
>Idea
>A rally stupid, risky and absolutly terrible idea, but an idea
>Show enlarged by warp dick
Hey ladies, why waste you time with that you get all of this.
>Humps the air to swing his dick
>Soul: Come on you slut take the bait

>>62710260
>>62710256
> jump in front of them and take the bolt of tzeentch for everyone else.
> aodfoaidhoahdfoiafofd.zap
> collapse to one knee as the lightning courses through my body.
> I've had worse.
> recall getting tazed in the balls
> wince slightly.
> see sororitas about to wander into the craftworld area
sister..... help us.... please
> collapse to the ground, smoking slightly

>>62710299
>some daemonettes drag you over to the drug pile
>they want to make you one of their sisters
>they start ripping the skin off that guy who got to the pile first

>>62710213
>>62710260
>>62710284

>Be apprentice with a sweat-ass power armor (genital area getting torned apart) and a sniper rifle
>Some deamonettes turn towards the guy who just enlarge his fleshy dong
>4 jumps on the guy but 6 more take their places
>Still too many deamonettes
>Trying to catch my pistols
>ll give them a gang-"bang" they'll remember

>>62710256
>Be Savorius
>Be currently a woman due to channeling massive amounts of that pink mist around
>Remember that I also accidentally kind of disabled all of the power armor air filtration systems
>...
>I contact my brother
>"Hey brother, it's your bro-, shit, sister Savorius. You uh, may want to be careful in there because your air filtration system is probably down and you're breathing in that pink mist."

>>62710083
>>62710256
>>62710008
>>62709956
>Be Canoness Helga
>By the Emperor this Crusader's strong!
>Such a valiant rescue deserves a reward
>Licks lips pervertedly despite myself
>A quick kiss on the lips wouldn't hurt, right?
>possiblyhereticalideas.voxcast

>>62710256
>>62710299
>Crusader gets zapped by a bolt of Tzeentch before I can kiss her
>Damn it, this is why we can't have nice things!
>Pull out a sacred bolt pistol from my hip and start shooting at the Chaos Space Marine's head, trying to damage his armor's rebreather system

>>62710299
>Sees sweet ass crusader GF be dragged off by sweet, sexy daemonettes
"VICTORIA!"
>Jumps into the drug pile after them
"You will not touch her! She's mine!"

>Guy skin gets ripped off
And didn't work
>Prances off to ship
See>>62710299 get dragged off
>Here come the pain train
>Rams into deamonettes so hard they become unconscious
>Grabs Samson and dances to the ship with her

>>62710355
> attempt to resist
no... please no.....
> I'm back in the convent again
> canoness is over me, marks of slaanesh on her armor
> she drops her pants and pins me to the ground.
> try to fumble for my greatsword
> feel knife in my hands.
> waitwut.ptsd
> shake head and clear eyes for a second.
> begin to struggle as they drag me to the drug pile
> fumble with dagger and stab one of them in their clitoris.
> stumble to my feet and run away... swaying slightly as I recover...
> wobble and walk out of the hole....
> collapse as the other one grabs my foot.
NO!

>>62710417
>as you jump into the pile several daemonettes stop making out with each other and turn their attention to you
>they giggle as they drag you further in with them
>one of them pulls you in close
>that guy over there is totally losing some limbs
>holy shit they already made a dress out of his skin
>>62710441
>two more daemonettes grab you
>as they touch you corruption starts to spread

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>>62710355
>Be Sororitas Letina
>Doesn't even notice the other Battlesisters or Crusader or Canoness
>TooHighOnWarpDust.lewd
>Feel like I should be having sexy-fun times with daemonettes
>walk past the fight deeper into the mist, breathing in deeply and reveling in the pleasure it brings
>WhoDoIWorshipAgain.corruption

>>62710402
>Catch up to the pretty lady who looks like mom
>Barely think..thinking at tits point
>I just need a kiss and I'll be back to horny
>and maybe some other sex
>Tackle her to the ground
>The guardswoman is pressed between us with her face buried in my breasts
>SoGoodSoHorny.barelyincontrol
>Rabidly push my lips onto hers

>>62710299
>>62710355
>>62710379
>>62710402
>So the attack didn't proceed as procedure
>Cons:Only got one of them
>Pros: It was the big one, and now it's on the ground, twiching
>Wait are those slanneshi daemonettes
>Dragging away MY sacrifcial lambs
>This shall not stand
>Drop down my makeshift plataform and swing it at the daemonettes
>Just as i'm about to chase after her, a volley of bolter fire hits me
>Block my rebreather at the cost of my middle finger
>Overrated anyways
>And in no way am i breathing that dust unpurified
>Recieve message from brother Savorus
>Sister now...apparently
>Bit of a prick
>Tells me that my air filtration systems are down
>Tell him that thanks to a bit of warp shenanigans i've kept them mostly functional
>Dunno how much longer can i keep it that way though
>Also tell hi...her of my plan to summon a fuckton of daemons to create a warp current strong enough to get us the fuck out
>I swear if i breathe some of that slanneshi shit i'll skin someone

>>62710493
no.... i refuse you
> I can't die like this.
> I refuse to die like this
> I....
> I pull out my knives
> stab the two daemonettes in the throat
> stand to my feet and roar as loud as I can
HOLY EMPEROR GUIDE MY BLADES AS I SLAUGHTER THIS FILTH!
> fuck this shit
> fuck these daemonettes
> fuck this sister
> FUCKSLAANESH
PROTECT THESE PEOPLE FROM THE RUINOUS POWERS, SANCTIFY MY STRIKES SO THAT I MAY CLEANSE THESE HERETICS FROM ALL THAT REACH YOUR INFINITE GAZE
> throw myself into the fire, slaughtering daemonettes as they howl in pain from hearing my litanies
> continue stabbing every daemonette I can find as I pull gwyndolin out of the pile.
> hey my stormshield
> pull it out, and draw a Catachan devil's claw knife
> bash it against shield
COME DAEMONS, COME AND MEET YOUR END ON MY BLADE. FOR IT SHALL BE THE LAST THING YOU WILL EVER IMPALE YOUR PATHETIC BODIES ON AGAIN YOU LOOSE WHORES.

>>62710545
>be daemonettes
>be skinning stupid sororitas from earlier
>be skinning people alive
>be fucking the mortals
>be fucking each other
>be doing all the drugs
>be doing daemonette things
>killing people and fucking people

>>62710545
>He wants to make a warp current to get us out
>Well then
>I actually DO have an idea for that, but he wouldn't like it
>Here's the plan: fill as many warp drives as can be found in this place with the pink mist, then detonate them
>Wouldn't even cause physical destruction amazingly
>Problem is...
>Well, as is, and with currently available resources, it would cause everyone in the system to be affected by that shit times 1000.
>I can't even comprehend that shit

>>62709417
>Be me, Eisen Martellus.
>And two of my brothers just went down to unrelenting xeno technology!
>Itdoesntevenhaveamachinespirit!
>Before dying, their belasarian furnaces allow them to get off a few shots at the hoes, while the rest of the Intersessors gun them down.
>My squad and I quickly pull forth our oversized, bastard sword length knives, and charge towards the beserker and the now feminine sorcerer.
>Whyareyouawoman.png
>Quickly begin slicing and dicing, and using our scary masks, to overwhelm them, as we push our way towards the exits.
>Too late to stop the warp drive from going off, and we barely have three minutes to leave.
>I need a hero.mp4
https://youtu.be/OBwS66EBUcY

>>62710616
>be claw bitches
>some howling fucker doesn't wanna party
>start fighting that bitch one on one
>circle of daemonettes forms around the woman with knives going toe to toe with a single daemonette at a time

>>62710630
> be me.
> fucking idiots didn't know how warp drives work
> quickly recite prayers as I place the parts they pulled out into place.
> warp drive stabilizes,
> fuck the marines malevolent

>Be apprentice inquisitor with a almost new sweat-ass power armor and equipped with a sniper rifle
>Finally managed to grab my pistols shoots every deamonettes near me
>breathed too much warp dust and whatever they pour down my throat
>aim at deamonettes blocking my way to the exit, sees my companions getting a fate worse than I
>shoots the deamonettes
>tries to drag a least one of them out of this
>a bigger deamonette shows up, I'm too drugged to shoot straight
>itshighnoon.mp3
>shoots crab bitch

>>62710660
>Be Eisen Martellus.
>As we're fighting our way out. I wonder why we have all these extra parts with us.
>Oh yeah... From the warp drive.
>YEET the bag of part in my hand, as hard as possible.
>Didn't even realize I'd just hit some oversized, mortal woman in the head with them.
>Notmyproblem.jpg
>Keep heading towards the exit.

>>62710648
> be me, Crusader Victoria Samson
> another daemonette screams as I lop their head off with my machete.
> she falls into the pile,
> sister is still alive, slightly cut at my feet.
> snarl as the next one enters the ring
> I sweep her legs out from under her and pulverize her head beneath my storm shield.
> physicssayfuckyoucunt.purge
> snarl at them all
you... won't have anyone else... not another soul.... you hear me.
> bear my teeth at the next one as it overextends its arm and I slice down and it falls to floor
> it gurgles as I flip my blade into a reverse grip and impale its filthy head upon my blade.