If the USA had a polytheistic religion instead of Christianity, which gods would it worship? Based on what the society thinks is good or bad.
Moloch, Mammon, possibly Ares.
>>62637832>Galactic Archives: New York was an independent city-state in the northwest of Unistat. It was noted for its malodorous stockyards, its vast motion-picture industry, and a huge phallic monument dedicated to "Washington," a fertility god who allegedly slept in nearly every part of the Unistat, usually with human women, bringing forth such semidivine progeny as the gigantic Paul Bunyan, the patriotic General Motors, the trickster-god Nixon, and the benign Mickey Mouse, who began as a totem of the city of Disneyland and eventually became the principal divinity of all Unistat.
>>62637832Old Testament>Washington, Founding Deity>Jefferson, God of Liberty>Adams, Sea God>Franklin, Thunder God>Lafayette, God of Oaths, Friendship>James Madison, God of Law, Justice>Andrew Jackson, Cthonic Underworld DeityNew Testament>Abraham Lincoln, the Messianic GodFolk Hero Gods>Teddy Roosevelt>Patton>Captain John Paul Jones
>>62638026>Andrew Jackson, Cthonic Underworld Deitycute, but andy j is blatantly a war god
>>62638091He can be two things. Don't fucking tell Andrew "Death is the only solution to Life" Jackson what to do.
>>62638026Fucking..actually fuck you for putting this in my head because it's so funny and amazing to me and I love and hate it all at the same time.
>>62638128>He can be two things. Don't fucking tell Andrew "Death is the only solution to Life" Jackson what to do.Fair enough. Classical deities did often wear a lot of hats. And Andrew Jackson sure liked hats.
>>62638144>Andrew Jackson sure liked hats.Probably took em off the bodies.
>>62637832The detestable veneration of their graven founders.
>>62638360>The detestable veneration of their graven founders.We get it. You're European.
>>62638026>>62638360/tg/ kinda did something similar to this with the Deathworld setting. The US of A went deep into necromancy and started a literal cult around their founding fathers and line of presidents. So the country's basically run by necromancers and presidential zombies.
>>62638026Don't forget the Coltists.A group of radicals who believe in the One God, who made man, and his prophet Samuel Colt, who made them equal.Whose great phrase, "Molon Labe" is still engraved on his shrine at the Alamo, where Samuel led the revolutionaries against the Tyrant George who would enslave them, and take away their arms.
>>62638026Lady Liberty has the biggest statue. Surely the founding fathers were Libertarians!
>Americana fantasyColour me interested! Also post music and art.
>>62638577>Wanting Egypt's sloppy seconds.
>>62638144Everyone likes hats.
>>62639971I believe that this is more of a matter of "let's brainstorm ideas about this" rather than "What is the absolute definitive undisputible take on this concept that some hyper advanced computer that makes a Culture Mind look like a pocket calculator would provide."
>>62637959>>Galactic Archives: New York was an independent city-state in the northwest of Unistat. It was noted for its malodorous stockyards, its vast motion-picture industry, and a huge phallic monument dedicated to "Washington," a fertility god who allegedly slept in nearly every part of the Unistat, usually with human women, bringing forth such semidivine progeny as the gigantic Paul Bunyan, the patriotic General Motors, the trickster-god Nixon, and the benign Mickey Mouse, who began as a totem of the city of Disneyland and eventually became the principal divinity of all Unistat.Anon, I just wanted you to know that I immediately recognized that passage and think you're a great person.Regardless of how many kilos of cocaine or severed penises may exist in your reality.
>>62639971What a useless and, frankly, more stupid than OP's thread post/image.
Spirits of rivers and mountains. The Mississippi, Denali, Mishigami and so forth.
>>62640173What's it from? Sounds cool.>>62638026Would Lafayette be a god? Being more an outsider and all.Would Uncle Sam and Columbia be there at all, more mystic deities?
>If the USA had a polytheistic religion instead of ChristianityIt's called Mormonism.
>>62637832Gork and Mork....I mean, it's a perfect two-party system!
>>62642603Perhaps too perfect...
>>62642098>What's it from? Sounds cool.The Universe Next Door by Robert Anton Wilson
This is stupid, you would have to change too much about American society, culture, and founding history to the point where you might as well make fantasy USA and fill it in with random cultures to call it a day
Our god, Reagan, makes the wealth trickle down like rain upon the maize.
>>62637832>If the USA had a polytheistic religion instead of Christianity, which gods would it worship?The USA is ultimately bound up in old school liberalism, which is ultimately derived from Christianity. We could make stuff up like >>62638026 but I assume you want gods that were historically believed in.
>>62642141To be fair, they're monolatrists, not polytheists.
>>62642603>>62642643Pick whichever you like, they're both war gods. It fits.
>>62637832California would definitely worship Nurgle.
>>62647697>Nurgle >Not Slaanesh
>>62637869He said would, not is. Bringing down the fun with truth bombs no one asked for.
>>62638026>the goddess at Washington's right hand is carrying the FascesThe imagery here is troubling.
>>62648276In fairness, a Fasces is a classical Roman symbol, and much of the symbolism of the Roman Republic and Empire was borrowed for the USA, right down to the style of buildings. That some blacksmiths son stole it 122 years after Washington's death is neither here nor there. Would be a bit worrying if it was painted post-1920's though
>>62646857We'd have just done the traditional thing and equate the Founding Fathers and other notable figures with whatever tradition was predominant; assuming that Christianity never wiped out the old beliefs then they'd probably have associated (not equated; I'm thinking more like saints) the founding fathers with gods in the Anglo-Saxon pantheon because of the heritage and the Roman gods because they were such massive Romaboos.
>>62648360>Would be a bit worrying if it was painted post-1920's thoughm8, the US government is absolutely lousy with fasces. They're in the Oval Office, behind the flag in the House of Representatives (added in 1950, at that), on military unit insignias, on the Lincoln Memorial, on numerous seals at all levels of government.... They're absolutely everywhere; it's actually hard to think of more common iconography.
>>62647697doesn't really work, California is above the national health average
>>62649003>They're absolutely everywhere; it's actually hard to think of more common iconography.stars come to mind
Utah would still be monotheistic.
>>62648276>the Fasces is troublingWhat part of E Pluribus Unum do you not get, motherfucker?
>>62649323>E Pluribus UnumWhat does that have to do with the fasces
>>62637869>Moloch, Mammon, possibly Ares.Fpbp
You guys are terrible at this.
>>62637832It would and does worship the almighty markets
>>62648276>the goddess at Washington's right hand is carrying the Fasces>The imagery here is troubling.Fuck off, election tourist
>>62637832Pre-total Christianization Scandinavians had brief settlements in upstate New York. Had those somehow caught on and avoided the Semitic virus, we'd likely worship mostly Thor along with Odin and a few others.
>>62642885It's actually from Schrodinger's Cat fair copy 3, although many scholars dispute its authenticity.
>>62647697If you don't think California worships slaanesh, you have not been to California. Or heard anything about it.
>>62642098>Would Lafayette be a god? Being more an outsider and all.Most polytheistic pantheons include one or two gods with a foreign origin, so sure. I mean hell, some of them are just a straight mashing-up of multiple pre-existing pantheons.>>62638026Teddy Roosevelt fits pretty well as a Hercules analog, I'll give you that.
>>62651775California is obsessed with spreading disease, hence Nurgle worship.
>>62649308>>62649003>They're absolutely everywhere; it's actually hard to think of more common iconography.Bald eagles, stripes, thirteen arrows, there's quite a few more common
>>62651856wow, you're really stretching there, anontry not to pull something
>>62652123Eh it kinda works from the perspective of them having a lot of antivaxxers, I'd say they're more Tzeench though
>>62637832The founding fathers were Romaboos, so the Roman pantheon is most likely. Traditional emphasis on Minerva, contemporary emphasis on Bacchus. If the point of divergance is closer to the present moment, then Hinduism stands a good chance of taking root in a society which has been primed by 70s New Agers. Alternatively a sort of potpourri polytheism could take root, where the 7 celestials (Sun, Mercury, Venus, Moon, Mars, Jupiter, & Saturn) are recognized as the physical manifestation of divine entities who take on various personae across civilizations. This being common ground to most polytheistic systems, it'd have a lot of syncretic appeal. >>62651856Wouldn't the decay and stagnation associated with Nurgle be more appropriate for Detroit or Philidelphia?
>>62637869I doubt mainstream culture would openly worship entities widely recognized as representations of negative concepts, if anything they'd disguise their worship of destructive things behind good-seeming gods.
>>62648276Are you unaware that the fasces is also on the reverse of the dime?
>>62650279you are retarded
>>62650279E pluribus unumOne from manyA fasces is, quite literally, a bundle of sticks. A faggot.It's been a symbol of government for millennia. You see, back in the old days people used to live in small, isolated communities. They were under threat from bandits, invading nations, and random psychopaths.The simple man living alone with his family out on his homestead was especially vulnerable to such threats.A single stick can be snapped in half easily.A bundle of sticks isn't easy to snap in half.Similarly, homesteaders banded together into shared communities that they might not break in the face of the threats that would overpower just one among their number.THAT is what the fasces symbolizes.The fasces is not a troubling symbol. It's a symbol of unity, of strength, and of shared respect between peers.Now think for a moment. Who exactly is it that wants people to view the fasces negetively? Sociopaths without honor or connection to their people; sociopaths who want to separate folk that they might be easier to exploit. When the bonds of family and nation are broken under the misguided notion of egalitarianism, civilization loses hold of itself. Cities cease to be communities, becoming teeming piles of raw humans--a concrete jungle where jaguars hunt while wearing human skin.
>>62651775Your /pol/ is showing
>>62652461People worship yahweh and hes a massive ahole
>>62652287if anywhere’s Nurgle, its the rust belt and/or Midwest in general. It’s almost too perfectNorth east Coast is Tzeentch, Khorne is the coastal south and west coast is Slannesh
>another thread with the possibility of interesting discussion is appropriated by warhammer kiddosShame, I'd say that the great Gun God and probably some kind of Harvest/Fertility god would be prevalent.
>>62653173Yes, but he's mostly perceived as a tough-but-fair father figure. He's given a positive bend, like I said.
>>62638128>Andrew Jackson>god death>god of war>patron of hats
>>62652123>cali porn industry>not slaneesh
>>62653113>aligning california and vanity is /pol nowandrew jackson preserve us>>62653262this guy gets it>>62653173>People worship yahweh and hes a massive aholesure, most of the really popular gods are
>>62652287>Wouldn't the decay and stagnation associated with Nurgle be more appropriate for Detroit or Philidelphia?that anon's trying to push a "the entertainment industry is a disease of the mind" kinda line. don't read too much in to it.
>>62638026Does that put Alexander Hamilton in the Baldur-like position of slain god? God of commerce perhaps, who was slain in a duel with the dread demon Burr, who fled south to the land of Mexico to plot and recover.>>62642098Lafayette definitely fits as an outsider god, especially in the purview of the god of Oaths and Loyalty. Also it gives a reason for a whole mythical adventure of Jefferson going to the kingdom of France to meet foreign gods.
>>62652461So, just like now, then?
>>62638026>JFK, God of Truth>Slain by minons of Shadow & Secrets>Fear their magic bullets
>>62655963More or less.
>>62656032Typically your more recent semi-historical figures would transmogrify in to demigods or ascended human heroes, who have more mortal-grade adventures. So you'd expect founding fathers and maybe anybody up to including the civil war era to be olympean-equivalents, where later larger-than-life figures like the roosevelts, patton or JFK would probably be something more along the lines of achilles, romulus & remus, and so on.
>>62637832>If the USA had a polytheistic religion instead of Christianity, which gods would it worship? Based on what the society thinks is good or bad.America would worship three Goddesses, known as the Muses of the modern world: Liberty, Justice, and Progress.
>>62652461But they offer babies at Planned Parenthood all the time
>ctrl+f American Gods>no resultsCome on, /tg/, we're better than this.
>>62648276It's also behind the Speaker of the House in Congress. Don't be dumb.
>>62659969We are, that's why there's none of that.
>>62659969its shit and your shit for mentioning it
>>62651379>worshipping a faggot and his retarded sonwhew
>>62660393Better than the faggot, the son, and the autistic spirit.
>>62637832The USA doesn't have a State religion. Many gods are worshiped here
>>62660462>>62660393Y'all both got it wrong.You have to practice divination, evocation, and invocation to commune with a variety of spirits for the purpose of discerning the root Aryan religion of Atlantis.Then you shall have understanding, and be put upon the path to become THAT-WHICH-SEIZES.
>>62660462>n-no ucould have at least used canonical traits
>>62662153That one never gets old.
>>62638026>HamiltonGod of Money
>>62659489There it is
>>62648276We were using the Roman salute for years before Mussolini. It was the old pledge of allegiance ritual.
>>62655762If we are letting in outsider gods we sure as shit need good General Kosciusko as some minor deity/hero
>>62638026>no Davey Crockett>no Snowshoe Thompson
>>62659969Didn’t read the books, but the show is shit
>>62637832>polytheistic religion instead of ChristianityDoesn't Catholicism have shrines and prayer to things which aren't God? such as saints or Virgin Mary. I wouldn't quite count that religion as strictly mono-theistic.
>>62663359The saints, angels, and Mary don’t answer the prayers. The idea is that the various saints are more divine then you so asking them to ask god for things increases the likelihood of success. Like a kid asking his father to ask his mother for something.
>>62663359You're not worshipping the shrines, they're technically supposed to help with focus during prayers. They are essentially meditation objects and the fact that yokels think they're literally talking to dead people shows that somebody's not paying attention.
>>62663461>the fact that yokels think they're literally talking to dead people shows that somebody's not paying attention.why should they? hundreds of years ago ,before the US started, the monks/bishops/whoever read the bible in latin, which all of the peasants did not understand. They were probably taught a folk Catholicism, which would borrow from Paganism and other religions. Just because academics in the Church say "it's not actually speaking to the dead" doesn't mean that the peasants who practice folk Catholicism believe that.
>>62652461>openly worship entities widely recognized as representations of negative conceptsTrum-... Ah shit. Not /pol/!!
Uncle Sam would have to be part of the pantheon.
>>62663650>Just because academics in the Church say "it's not actually speaking to the dead" doesn't mean that the peasants who practice folk Catholicism believe that.Yep, that's the trick of it. That's the same way that Jesus could be a Jewish hippie mystic with a cult of personality to educated peoples in the Levant and an aryan warrior-prince deliberately conflated with Wotan to Germanic peasants and yet everyone is officially on the same page. Looking at it without the cultural baggage, Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular is pretty shady.
>>62638838>American FantasyPic related seems appropriate, if you want something comfy.
>>62663679>>62659963>>62655963>>62653173>>62637869I've thought about it for a bit, and I think I've settled on gods that would fit these same concepts but are generally seen in a more positive light.Instead of Moloch, who's really just biblical a demonized combination of multiple older gods, I propose that the U.S. might instead worship Zeus or Jupiter. Zeus, like Moloch, is heavily associated with royalty (he is the king of kings) and sacrifice, but despite his numerous atrocities he mostly gets painted in a positive light today. I think Jupiter might be a better choice because the U.S. has a giant hard-on for ancient Rome. In fact, I think we could replace all of these gods with Roman gods.Instead of Mammon, I propose that the States would woship Pluto. I think Pluto is possibly perfect for this role because of his strong combined associations with both wealth and death, but he is also depicted as a hard-ass who follows the rules, giving him a positive spin, even if he is kind of an asshole. I couldn't ask for a more perfect deity for this purpose.Finally, instead of Ares, I think the U.S. would be more willing to worship Minerva, the Roman equivalent to Athena. You might think I should have picked Mars for this role, the direct Roman equivalent to Ares, but Ares and Mars are first and foremost representations of the brutality and ugliness of war, and are generally seen as negative figures. I think Minerva/Athena, being associated with wisdom, learning, and especially commerce, as well as more often being seen as a positive motherly figure, would be a much better fit for the role of a war god worshipped by Americans.All of these deities still represent most of the negative concepts that the deities listed in the first post did, but they also have other associations that make them more approachable by the common layperson as objects of worship, and I think that's what's really important if you actually want to get a religion off the ground.
>>62663353>Didn’t read the books, but the show is shitNever saw the show but the book was entertaining
>>62666291>American Fantasy>Pic related seems appropriate, if you want something comfy.Man, this was a great show.
I highly implore you lot to give the After the End mod for Crusader Kings 2 a go.It's all about this kinda stuff.
Washington would probably be a God figure in the mold of Zeus and Odin. That stern father-figure with awesome power and a great horse (in his case Nelson), with Mount Vernon being analogous to Mount Olympus. He'd be a patron of horseback riding (and there would be claims of him being descended from centaur), of dancing, and whiskey distillation. >>62638026>>62638128>>62653621Andrew Jackson would also be the Patron God of Dueling. Duelists will invoke his name when they enter the dueling grounds to defend their honor.