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/tg/ - Traditional Games

Dyslexic spells thread?

>Speak with Dad
>Alter Shelf
>Bestow Purse
>Circle of Breath
>Cone of Old
>Mind Plank
>Defect magic
>Stone to Fresh
>Sticks to snacks
>Nature's alley
>Power word krill
Ray of embezzlement
>Detect Thots
Lost to the last one

>Heydrich Blast
>power word krill

You conjure up a wave of tiny crustaceans that crashes down on an area within range. The area can be up to 30 feet long, up to 10 feet wide, and up to 10 feet tall. Each creature in that area must make a Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 4d8 bludgeoning damage and is knocked prone. On a successful save, a creature takes half as much damage and isn’t knocked prone. The krill then spread out across the ground in all directions and create a 30ft zone of tiny shrimp that do 1d4 damage to any creature that begin their turn within until the end of your next turn at which point the little animals wander off.
>Expensive Retreat
>Butter Fingers
>Below Curse
>Greenleaf Blade
>Active Splash
>Animal Massager
>Chill Torch
>Find Speed
>Color Spy
>>Animal Massager

And the vampire thread is talking about fucking dogs.
/tg/ has a bestiality kick today, huh?
Aerial Solvent
Some of these are potentially quite useful spells

>speak with dad
>alter shelf
>bestow purse
>cone of old
>defect magic
>sticks to snacks
>animal massager
I'm dying
Tenser's Floating Dick.
Tenser's Floating Duck.
Magic Mussel.
Stinking Crowd.
>Flaming Spear
>Phantasmal Thriller
>Locust City
>Prismatic Gray
>Cull Lightning
>Finger of Debt
>Power Word Fun
>Power Word Blinds
>Power Word Grill

Cone of Old sounds real
disguise elf
>Wage Hand
>Call Lightening
>Leomund's Tiny Hat
>Bigby's Giant Hind
>Summon Muenster
>scorching gray
summon a burning alien
>chill couch
>cone of BOLD
>bone of cold
>control lames
>create fundead
>crown of sadness
>crown of badness
>dimension doot
Gibsgy's Intertoasting Flan
Yeah, but as written more like a magic item than a spell. They sure don't make cones like they used to.
>Cromagnon Orb
>Cause Beer
>Life Insurance
>Cold Person
>Foxes Cumming
>Wizard Appearance
>Limited Fish
>Unseen Serpent
>Giant Fork

Cure White Wounds
You channel positive energy to heal 1d8 points of racial tension between your species. If the target is a dark elf, heal 2d8 points instead.
Spay living
-Magical birth control.

Misspell magic
- Targets the wizard's source of power directly, by introducing dyslexia to his spellbook.

Anti-Wife shell
- For the married mage.

Loser planar ally
- For when you need to summon a magical being to your aid, but you're not realy al that particular.

Disguise elf
-Sometimes you want to avoid the slave market.

Scorching day
>Like weather control, but limited to making it a bit too hot.
Raise thread
>bust devil
>weather fall
>fire dolt
>mold monster
>lightning cure
>fold earth
>psychic cream
>tony servant
>wall of fight
>Purifying Wood and Father
> Mage Ham
>Create/ Destroy Matter
>Control Fired
>Chromatic Bob
>Animal Shade
>Shade Water
>Ray of Faust
>Fay of Roast
>Lay of Frost
>Fray of Most
>Spear the Dying
>Cure Mound
>Deflect Poison and Disease
>Bitch Wolt
>Matador Swarm
> Power Word Hail
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>Thyme Stop
>Ray of Lost
>Greater Oaramany
>Tragic Missle

This is pretty fun.
>Burning Glands
>Mage Band
>Scare the Dying
>Farther Fall
>Nice Knife
>Putrify Food and Drink
>Unseen Savant
>Lice Transference
>Planet Growth
>Dominate Mustard
>Tim, stop
cromulent monster
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Remove Hearse
Divine Flavor
Tragic Weapon
Seagull's Blender
Misspell Magic
Transglute Flesh to Scone
Neglect Good/Evil/Law/Playas
Finger of Meth
Bjorn Whip
Gnocci Grasp
Acid Stash
Detect Arrows
Box's Cunning
True Pleasurerection
Baleful Polydwarf
Expediddily Retriddidilly
Raise Bread
Milf's Acid Tarot
Laminate Rope
Wall of Divorce
Mantle of Ska
Yarn Person
Purify Food not Drink
Zone of Roof
Heather Fall
Magic Moth
PFC Image
Laminate Rope is a devastating thing to run up against. It's like Feather Fall: you never need it until you need it.

Finger of Meth is equally infamous. I've had to dodge that at the local 7/11 more than once.
I don't quite understand how this is supposed to be different.
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>Meatier Swarm
>Power Word: Shill
>Mage's Dysfunction
>Horrid Quilting
>Shadow Evocation: Greeter
>Feather Ball
>Charm Her Son
>Summon Smarm
Store Flesh
And then
>Tenser's Floating Dirk
>Blooming Blade
>Ensnaring Stripe
>Tasha's Hilarious Laughter
>True Site
That's not how dyslexia works.
It's still fun, have a go.
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A ball of pure rage
>Bigby's Giant Hind
Does it summon a gigantic butt, or an extremely oversized Mi-24 Hrkicopter?
Only targets british soldiers and police officers
Speak with dad would be quite useful for my order that tracks down fathers of bastards', especially if it's like this:
Speak with dad
Lvl 1 cleric, druid and bard spell.
Materials: one living humanoid that has a father
Upon touching the target (including the target) you can speak with targets father. This spell doesn't work if father is in different plane of existence.
Upon casting at higher level also allows to detect father's location within 100 miles.
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this thread is comedy gold
More likely summons a female deer
Goes well with ale.
>smite of hand
fuck you
I can already imagine the smell
>Speak with Dad
Finally you can ask him why he is taking so long to buy ciggarates and milk
Basically vicious mockery, but spherical
Your dad's testicle makes a strange squelching noise as it splats against your amour
>Cat disgrace
Summons a black cat to cross the enemy's path.

>Arid splash
An AOE effect that you can't quite determine whether it's wet or not.

>Detest Magic
Cause target wizard an existential crisis.

>Dancing Nights
Instant rave.

>Gay of Frost
Summon an homosexual winter fey.

>Couch of Fatigue
Handy when you're tired.

>Protection from God
Protects you from a god of choice.

>Protection from raw
No more salmonella!

>Obscuring Fist
Punch target so hard, they can't see the next punch coming.

>Detect Unread
Useful for students and teachers alike.

>Floating Risk
It reminds you to use feather fall when you're hovering.

>Gloating Disk
Summons a disk-shaped monster. It's not too useful as it wastes time monologuing about his supposed superiority over other shapes.

>Shocking Gasp!
Instant drama spell.

>Colon Spray
Useful to hit enemies in your rear arc.

>Cause Bear
Ensures a plantigrade carnivore will soon happen.

>Child Touch
Will get you on a special watchlist.

>Father Fall
Forces target to go back home and help their elderly dad to get up.

>Frog Cloud
Obfuscate line of sight with amphibians, and slime every surface.

>Summon Warm
Reinvigorates that chilly elf who just wants winter to end already.

Befuddle living creatures in an area with memes.

>Gut of Wind
Induces aerophagy.

Let's just say it makes a very unpleasant mess.

>Magic Moth
Summons a somewhat underwhelming magical ally.

>Commend Undead
Ensures even soulless undead creatures will appreciate your compliments.

>False Lie
Enforces meta-truth.

Makes things smoother.

>Rape Trick
Summons a convenient dose of rohypnol

>Spider Limb
One of your arms or legs becomes pretty great for climbing, but only one. Also it gets quite gross.

>Explosive Tunes
Deal 6d6 damage when dropped

Free "get out of jail" card
Not sure if it was posted, but
>Create/destroy waiter
>Phantom Seed
Ejaculate through physical barriers

>Derp Slumber
Put someone asleep in a very awkward position.

>Old Person
Summon an ally to yell at children

>Tiny Hunt
Summon a much less fearsome version of the Wild Hunt

Cast as an item is stored to make it disappear in some remote plane.

>Major Mage
Imbue the town's major with magical powers

>Gentle Repost
Repeat your argument in a thread, but in much more civil tones.

>Gay of Exhaustion
Drain target's stamina through intense sodomy.

>Chill Torch
A very large blunt

>Lame Arrow
Make a projectile very uneffective.

Target suffers heavy fire damage but gains an AC bonus due to crispy natural armour.

>Teen Edge
Shame target with the memories of their past donutsteel OC's.

>Secrete Page
Create a young attendant out of your sebum

>Water Breaching
Anticipate target's labour

>Dire Trap
Create a feral, monstrous version of a girl (male)

>Remove Purse
Mug target
>Lack Tentacles
Disarm target aberration.

>Solid Dog
Summons a sturdy canine companion.

>Detect Crying
The opposite spell happens to be way more popular.

Badly bruise target.

>Rushing Despair
Removes the "Procrastination" debuff.

>Illusory Ball
Trick Charlie Brown, again.

>Mage's Faithful Pound
Fattens target spellcaster, lightly but permanently.

>Fall of Stone
Everyone dies.

>Fold Monster
Target creature is bent unnaturally.

Summon the Hypnotoad.

>Persistent Mage
Shitpost /tg/ with caster supremacy threads every day.

>Symbol of Spain
Induces flamenco

>Raves of Fatigue
Prevents targets from recovering through rest.

A restraining spell developed by the Whizzard himself.
>heiling word
>hailing word
>heeling word
>helling word
>halling word
>Icy sphere
>Leomund's tiny butt

They're all golden.
Explosive prunes
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>Tasha's Hideous Daughter
>tasha's hideous slaughter
Jesus Christ that just sounds horrifying.
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Thats what I was going for.
more descriptions like this please
>Stone to Fresh
Finally, a solution to stale bread!
Ray of Read Magic Missile
A talking ball that only lies
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It's not actually a ball.
>Speak with Dad

>tfw dad is ESL, has dyslexia and aspergers
Sometimes it feels like I'm using magic to communicate with him
>PFC Image
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this thread triggers my autism
but here you go
>Dimension Doot
Dimension Hoor
>basicaly speak with dead if he's dead and basically useless thing if alive since nobody calls their parents in this times
>wizards became very valuable in carpenters' and home-decoration guilds
>wizards prove again that they are magic-batmen by usurping yet another guild's work
>very usefull during scuba-diving. Unfortunatelly unpopular since scuba-diving does not exist
>damn wizards are making cones for old people. THEY TOOK OUR JOOOBS
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>devine flavor
does it send guy feiri from the heavens in order to bring me to flavor town?
>below curse
It's just giving someone crabs, isn't it?
>bestow curves
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I approve of that last one.

>Feather Mall
>Mage Sand
>Harm Person
>Alter Serf
>Phantasmal Miller
>Feather Mall
Opens a pocket dimension - a town square covered with a bazaar containing merchants hawking all manner of feathers - from phoenices to dinosaurs.

>Mage Sand
Summons a 1st-level wizard made out of sand, lasts for 5 rounds.

>Harm Person
Gives the target leukemia.

>Alter Serf
Opens a vassal customization menu.

>Phantasmal Miller
Allows you, a grain magnate, to use ghosts to save on labor costs.
>animate dad
>control fames
>gay of sickness
you summon a dude with HIV
>searing shite
>lime stop
>speak with plans
>magic tone
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behold, shitty paint art
>colour gay
Rainbows everywhere.
>colour spay
Causes infertility in the LGBT community.
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drawing these at random, unless someone wants to request one
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>Antiwife Shell
>Antmagic Field
>Create Undad

>Fine Ball

As a waiter, I request Create/Destroy Waiter.
>Dyslexic spells thread?
So misspells
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Somebody get me a scroll of sticks to snacks PLEASE
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It's wonderful, thank you.

>Blade Wand
>Blinding Smile
>Vampiric Torch
>defect magic
lose all your magic aptitude and ability; transfer it to nearest person
>Stocking grasp
>Viscous mockery
>Putrify food and drink
>Speak with pants
>Player of healing
>Inspect plague
>Heat meal
>Mend into stone
>Black testicles
Create Miner Hell
Crate Mayor Helm
Shocking Grass
Bathe without Air
Bottomles Spit
Impervious to Poisson
>tragic missile
I have some more

>Wall of Irony
Sentient creatures that pass through it must pass a Will save or miss its point.

>True Sewing
Bestow extraordinary sartorial skills.

>Ass Suggestion
Propose anal.

>Chair Lightning
Electrocute a restrained felon.

>Forceful Sand
Compels a group of sentient creatures to play in the sandpit.

Causes temporary dyslexia.

>Symbol of Pear
Triggered rune transforms nearby objects into fruit.

>Mass Beer Endurance
Blesses party with enhanced alcohol tolerance.

>Control Wafer
Seize control of all snacks.

>More Earth
Conjures soil.

>Plant Shift
Up to eight plants exchange positions.

>Grater Teleport
A teleportation spell with unlimited range that can only target culinary shredding utensils.

>Mass Cold Person
Desensitize a lot of people.

>Power Word Blond
Bestow beautiful golden locks.

>Symbol of Stunting
Triggered rune coerces into performing rad moves.

>Protect Image
Banish nearby paparazzi.

>Control Feather
A really weak form of telekinesis.

>Limited Dish
Summons food, but not very much.

>Mind Flank
Increases periphereal awareness.

>Protection from Spills
Makes clothing impossible to stain.
>Trap the Sour
Triggered runes that only ensnare bitter people.

>Discern Vocation
Gain knowledge of people's professions on first sight.

A divination spell to locate and observe avians.

>Power Word Sun
Summon the Sun.

>Symbol of Inanity
Compels those who see it into behaving in the most asinine possible ways.

>Horrid Tilting
Triggers OCD.

>Mage's Disfunction
Target spellcaster forgets how to spellcast.

Shred target cheese.

Mourn and/or complain in advance.

>Power Word Bill
Forces target to pay.

>Brushing Hand
Large hand delicately strokes targets.

>Ethereal Mess
Summon a very unkempt ghost.

>Unlimited Fish
It's just too much.
>Sensible chuckle.gif
I am stealing Cone of Old and probably making my party ragequit from it
I want to make a spellbook of these for my players to find and mess around with.
Probably makes sense to implement these in a table for failed concentration rolls or something.
>Power Word Jill
Makes a very annoyed Jill appear. She's getting really sick of this shit and could you please give her fare to get back home?
>Power Word Jill
Alternately, it really gets a woman off.
>Power word Quill
>>bone of cold
>not cone of cod that summons a torrent of fish in a cone in front of you
Brandishing Site
>Stone to Mesh.
>Burning Hams.
>Crown of Radness.
>Crown of Dadness.
>Clown of Madness.
>Mass Congestion.
>Burn Undead.
>Wall of Scone.
Oh god.
Could probably use this to fertilize fields and rivers and lakes and shit. Assuming it’s salt water Krill so it dies in anything that isn’t salt water, and dead fish and things like it are great for that
Don’t forget >Destructive Rave.

>Male Armour
For fixing your chainmail bikini into something useful.

>Male Hand
Sometimes, a woman just needs a little help.

>Mate Hand
… the same thing is true for everybody.

Change the past so you already said what you want to say.

Exactly the opposite effect of the normal one.

You don’t need drugs anymore with this one.

>Antilife Hell
If there's no afterlife for the non-living, you just need to make one.

>Protection from Elegy
Usually protects from boredom.

>Scorching Lay
For when you manage to seduce someone you really wanted dead.
Mordenkainen's Lubrication
Evards Black Testicles
Dicks to Snakes
duration: 1 minute; concentration
point to a spot within 60 feet of you. a 2-foot-radius sphere of barbed wire explodes from that point. every creature within range must make a dexterity saving throw. a target takes 4d4 slashing damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. if a creature moves while in this radius, it must repeat the save.
>1st ed Lvl 6 Mage spell

Fart Water
>Purifying Wood and Father
Embiggen Soul.
>animal massager
Found the canadian.

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