>>60670645
(Copy from last thread)
>Be Daemonette
>Next to sweetie pie when everything explodes
>Wake up in the webway out of all place
>pudding looks so cute when knocked out
>eldar is being treated by some sister after suffering repeated head trauma
>guardsbro just looks relieved that he and psyker-bro are alive
>use the moment to hold darlings hand with my claw
>hope I can enjoy this moment before being purged

The Ork-Tyranids I think are dead all but for the Norn-Queen.

The Daemon in the Pillow got reduced to a Daemonette

Aun'el is escapin back to T'au space. Has basically tured into imperial comissar.

And Sister Ruliana is patching up eldar in the webway because they are simmilar to some sluggs she once kept s a pet.

(summary of last few posts on last thread)

(From last thread)
>Be Guardsman
>Saw the Rapeseer get knocked the fuck out by a fucking flying truck
>Her helmet goes flying into the distance
>itsgood.fieldgoal
>Seconds after she collapses on top of me, I see some fuckhuge flash of light
>Somewhere different now
>wtf.wat
>This isn't some clusterfuck battlefield anymore
>We're on a moon
>How the fuck can I breathe?!
>Take a good look at the Farseer
>Damn, she's actually kinda cute.
>Maybe she'll calm down now that we're offworld
>hereshoping.frag
>Psykerbro is still alive and being hugged by a Daemonette. I'll help him out later, just glad he's alive
>youregetting10cratesoflhosticks.bro

>>60670750
Only Ork things left are those Freebootas with the Kaptin obsessed with blasting Queen music out of the hulk's external vox system, (which the rest of the planetary system can hear... because Orkmagic or some shit), and the Ork-Nid Norn queenthat was formerly a Mad dok...?

And that poor Necron Lord got violated by the rape forest and was about to be rammed into next Tuesday by a crazed Ork flyboy in an boarding rokkit-turned-trukk-turned-rokki.

Wait do I get it right? something went wrong and the whole planet is dead?

All survivors landed on a moon of the planet.
(which I assume probably was a remanant from the battle between the Craftworld and Hivefleet)

Then everyone entered the webway.

So essentially Xenos except eldar have been reset and now only Chaos + Loyalists are in the webway.

(chaos too, because the Daemon Prince caused the Teleportation)

I assume the Æonic orb is now broken or something because of the Daemon Prince.

Is the planet like borken and fallin appart or just purged of everything an adnything?

>>60670853
Mad-Doc was the Dominatrix

Norn-Queen has been formed later from the corrupted hivemind.

It's a hivemind though so Doc is in there.

Basically the Norn-Queen is drifting trough space. Once she encounters any biomass the Eternal Tyranid WAAAGGHHH will be resumed.

>>60670862
I guess inquisition and admech just glass everything that looks corrupted and declares the rest a shrine world.
Most chaos bands just probably gost sent back to the warp due to daemon prince spell
I think they just used the webway to everyone not human/eldar to safety in the moon

>>60670862
T'au should be there too (if anh are still left and didn't escape with the AUn'el)

because Daemon Prince was a t'au weaboo.

>>60670862
The planets fine, just a bit terribly scorcged, the orb is probably ok and in the magos' hands, otherwise everyone would be inside a star being vaporized to death righr now

>>60670862
>>60670853
>>60670750
To clear up some confusions, this is what's happened

>Aeonic Orb at center of the planet destroys 1/16th of the planet's surface, mostly centered around the hole the saints drilled
>Most if not, all the Orknids got killed in the blast as they were all fighting in that general area of the planet
>Warp shit happened once the Daemonic Commissar realized he fucked up, which teleported all loyalists to a safe area
>Planet has a huge crack in it now, it was a Daemon planet for a moment up until the Daemon Prince Commissar blew up
>Planet is scarred to the warp and back, and just has a gigantic hole in it now

>be da kullektive WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
>shot ourselves out uv da planet afta everfin' got too warpy
>our big, stompin' body got skushed, but we'z got a uh, wotzit, kween?
>wish we did more stompin', but at least we got ta prove ya kin eat dem tin ladz, even if dey don't digest
>any'ow, we'z floatin'
>'ungry
>jus' waitin' till we'z can git back ta krumpin'
>zog us, dat wuz a fun lil' romp, dat planet
>shame about da rapeticles though

>>60670922

Would make sense. I guess the world will be recreated.

The planet was though basically purged of everything biological.
Probably has no atmosphere and the Nekrons got basically exterminated by the Tyranidorks beforehand.

There is still another Tombworld further in the system though which was not dealth with.

That planet is basically inhospittable now. Would need serious terrforming or establishment of Hivecities.

>>60670952
Dunno what to do about non-purply tau though

>>60670967

Hmm... so the plaet is not as bad... still it probably still drenched in primitive tyranid trees which while regressed without an overall Hivemind are just feral Orks.

The only native lifeform of the plnet and only source of food. Are trees which want to WAAAAAGGGHHH and are feral Orks nice...

>>60670978
It's not like a lack of atsmosphere and living conditions ever stopped the imperium before. Pretty sure there is another planet that got as butfucked if not more and still got shrined. Plus, if people can live in Krieg, they can probably manage

Due to the Tau and Necron shenanigans, this is probably pretty clise to Ultramar. Would love to see someone write Marneus Calgar's or Rowboat's reaction to all this shit

>>60671025

Cool. What will they do to the moon?
Cosidering you know... it's a clusterfuck of Daemon, Tyranid and Craftworld

Or would the Imperium not notice it is uppon secondary arrival?

This battle has also shown exceptional cooperation between Eldar and Imperials.
Rowboat Gulliableman might use it as prophaganda.

>>60671054

> it was in the first post
> the planet is at the fringe of Ultime Segmentum itself

Rowboat Gulliableman actually sent out Ultramarines to help deal with the situation, but they were not mentioned after that.

Maybe they arrived and decided:
"not fucking worth it"

> I would like to claim I suplicated myself in front of the Omnissiah in the Flesh.
> In reality legs are just fucked, the landing at the bottom of the crater was only mostly successfull.
> Still got the Basilisk the target it needed.
> Did we actually make a difference in the fight between Saints and Deamons I wonder?
> No time for moping. See a horde of images and realities flash by.
> Briefly see the moon with a bunch of survivors, then settle in some chaotic landscape.
> Legs healed?
> The basilisk and crew are here as well?
> In front of me, chunk of screaming Eldar souls(?) trying to escape from something, can't really see what.
> Looks like a chunk of that Infinite Circuitboard whatsit.
> Don't gimme that shit, I'm not a magos in Xeno biology I fix things while they're getting shot at.
> Receive one vision that tells me what to do.
> The Basilisk's tow-cable.
> ... It is not for me to question the Omnissiah but what the fuck.
> Crew reloads gun, I grab the hook and sprint for the mass of souls.
> Wrap it onto some sturdy looking beam, ghostly Eldar souls reach out and hold on to the cable for dear unlife.
> Run back before the warp gribbly thing that's munching on Eldar decides to notice me.
> Either due to the shock of losing two Greater Deamons, being shot in the face by a Basilisk inside it's own realm, the Emperor guiding our actions, the fact the Eldar souls are resisting, the chunk of circuit still being partially material, or a combination of the above and some other reasons, we pull a good chunk of the souls free.
> Fall gracefully to the ground.
> Haha no, flop more like it.
> On the moon.
> Basilisk manages a more gracefull landing than me, despite towing a small hab block worth of endless circle eldar thing.
> A small hab block worth of endless circle eldar thing manages a more gracefull landing than me.
> Whatever.
> Emperor wanted us to deny that warp thing some Eldar souls, so we damn well denied it some Eldar souls.
> Legs are back to fucked.

>Be Necron Lord
>Finnaly come to my senses
>Hear a massive explosion
>Feel the warp dissipate but I can still feel its taint in this area
>Hardly realize that the massive rocket is coming towards me
>Ohshitwhat?.obelisc
>Make a shitty attempt to run but my legs are still non-functional
>Make to a nearby Gauss-cannon as it plows through the building
>Non-functioning legs get snagged by cable or something
>Getting dragged through this shitty shanty town while clutching a gauss cannon
>Wondering if I should let go of my will to live
>Death is so fucking tempting
>Feal something snake up my legs
>Excusemebutwhatthefuck.scarab
>There's fucking rape vine on the rocket
>Will to live and to protect pelvic area rises
>Start shooting the vines while shouting Necron curses

>be Interrogator Chaplin of the Deathwing
>chasing after trail of a Fallen Angel
>timetogetablackpearl.Lion
>well that was the original plan
>turns out a huge warpstorm blocked our way
>after waiting for Emperor knows how long for the storm to disappear and the actual travel
>finally arrive,hope the fallen hasn't escap...
>whatintheLion'sname.ravenwing
>the planet has a huge crack on it's surface
>there's bits and pieces of what i can only call a daemon craftworld,a tyrannid ship,and an imperiañ vessel fused together
>there's a space hulk in the planets orbit
>consolationprice.loyal
>battle brother apothecary penicillinus tells me to look to the planet's moon
>ok
>are those 3 IMPERIAL SAINTS
>what
>time to find out what the fuck has happened from the source

hope that faggot Fallen didn't slip away, i've following him 2 years

>>60671069
Farseer and Guardsman becone new symbols of the imperium, thinking that they had some immovable bond of friendship
As for the moon, mostly loyalists and eldar got there,the rest of the faction splinters who got there are probably being purged by the heavy inquisition and admech forces on space, and by sororitas on the ground. normal orks just went on their way, necrons got back to napping or were vaporised along most of nidorks
Tau decise to never touch this sector again and the chaos lord probably became chaos spawn due to sheer failure

>>60671069
Farseer and Guardsman becone new symbols of the imperium, thinking that they had some immovable bond of friendship
As for the moon, mostly loyalists and eldar got there,the rest of the faction splinters who got there are probably being purged by the heavy inquisition and admech forces on space, and by sororitas on the ground. normal orks just went on their way, necrons got back to napping or were vaporised along most of nidorks
Tau decide to never touch this sector again and the chaos lord probably became chaos spawn due to sheer failure

>>60671165

I'm under the impression that all forces loyal to the Imperium were teleported to the moon and given the ability to breathe, not just the Saints.

The imperial loyalists include, for some reason, Eldar too.

>>60671176
>Farseer and Guardsman
So do they end up together?

I know someone has already had but I'm fucking paranoid as shit so I'm going to ask anyway.

Has anyone screen capped the last two threads in their entirety?

>>60671248
No idea, but you should do it anyway. Never enough backups

>>60671176
Chos Prince is dead.
Got vaporised spot on by Æonic orb (also I was writing him there at the end)

>>60671204
The idea was that the dark angel vessel was gonna teleport in as soon as it could,but the warpstorm that the daemon craftworld made combined with the shadow from the warp from the tyrannid fleet made impossible, combining that with the time it took to actually travel there,and since the ship has a gellar field,any warpy phenomenon wouldn't effect the ship

but the image of a Deathwing squad appearing in front of 3 imperial saints is really funny

>Be Farseer
>Wake up after some time
>splittingheadache.witchblade
>Beu is alive, thank Isha
>Feel better now that some Mon'Keigh female healer tends to my wounds
>Myloinsarenolongeraflame.needtobreed
>Still, my beu is cute. I'll definitely take him with me back to the Craftworld
>happiness.singingspear

>>60671248
I have managed to download the text of the first thread.

Only text though :/

>>60671302
Nah, I was talking about Vögeln. AKA who annouced the pillow cum battle royale

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>>60670974

>Be me
>Kaptin Snikstabba "F. Merkury" Goldteef
>Freeboota boss o' YUGE Ork hulk Wuldkrumpa, currently in orbit ovah now krumped planet
>Dun know wot 'appened
>Musta been dem zoggin' tinbois or sumfing
>Musik playa starts blasting 'Another One Bites The Dust' outta da hulk, easily able to heard from da moon
>Grots on radar station yellin' at me dat some huge bio-fing iz floatin nearby
>Zoggin' grotz
>punch grot off 'radar station' an' see YUGE chunk o' floatin' Nid stuff
>"SHOOT DAT FING TOWARD DA MOON YA GITZ! DUN LET IT NEAR MAH SHIP! DUN LET IT NEAR MAH MUSIK LOOT!!!"
>Wuldkrumpa starts firing ALL o' da dakka at Nidork blob to push it toward da moon an' AWAY from it
>"The Show Must Go On" from Queen starts playing out of the speakers as this happens.
>Aff my bridge krew iz lookin' at me weird now for obsession wid protecting all o' mah musik loot
>Zog dem, Iz da boss so wot I sayz goes

>>60671314
qt

>>60671370
Wait a second, this Ork has a COLLECTION of ancient human music that, if I read correctly, are all basically STC-grade?

The Mechanicus are gonna flip their binaric shit when they find out about this.

>be Interrogator Chaplin
>use drop pod to land on the moon
>short trip,so i've bearly have any time to gather my thoughs
>chief among them being WHY ARE 3 IMPERIAL SAINTS IN A SYSTEM IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
>get to walking
>on my way see in the distance what i think is an eldar laying on top of an imperial guardsman
>remember that bet i made with a deathwatch marine
>grab my storm bolter
>throw it and go on my merry way
>if that hits that fucker owes me a storm shield
>hope i find the exact coordinates of the saints soon
>

To summarize what happened to one particular eldar:

Life 1: In a distress their craftworld intercepted the planet on the run from genestealers, they warped planetside to attempt to get help from literally anyone. They found that there was a second craftworld that was just filled with horny buggers, so saught help of imperial forces. After serious consideration they send negotiations to guardsmen + deathwatch and make a deal to get them on and they'll do the purging. Then they get attacked by Tyranid - Ork hybrid, die

Life 2: respawn as defender titan, find out now there's genestealers AND slaaneshi tau invading their ship, starts purging in great levels, helping marines and eldar alike. Seeing soulstone get attacked and almost assimilated by chaos they blow the ship core, slowing daemon ascension and "killing" craftworld. Craftworld gets corrupted, titan helps troops escape, dies again

Life 3: now a wraithguard they seek only to have revenge on their craftworld's corruption (and eventual destruction), pledge allegiance to imperium, rally troops against the gazzilion odd forces of xeno and chaos, help imperials out. Eventually smacked by commissar deamon tau lover, die again

Life 4: titan again, basically just shoots shit and spews imperial propeganda, embracing them as a new calling to vent their hate on other factions that fucked them over, blown up in planet warpstorm

Life 5: guardian again just sits on moon with other loyalists, arc "ends" with them hoping to join imperium, since they've gone and enjoyed it too much to go back now

Gonna call it a pause from here, need to sleep it off

Tldr: one group of eldar is lead by a chick who just wants to join the imperium because it's all she has left but it's also fun as fuck

>>60671615
Oh there you are. Managed to save the souls of some of your friends, though they're stuck in a chunk of infinity circuit. Consider it a welcome to the Imperium present.

what the fuck guys

>>60671653
?

>>60671653
What?

>be da kullektive WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
>maybe if we slurped 'em up afta dey's 'it wif da plaz-kannon, maybe den we could digest 'em?
>maybe we didn't crunch 'em enuff?
>who knows, we jus' 'ope dat da next planet we find 'as dem tin boyz sleepin in da-
>da zog?
>iz we gettin' shot at?
>zog me, we'z gettin' shot at
>by FREEBOOTAZ
>PLATINUMMAD.GIT
>ALL ZOGGIN' BIOFRUSTA'S, FULL ZOGGIN' SPEED A'EAD
>WE'Z EATIN' FLASHGITZ TONIGHT

>>60671275
how do I screencap though, do I use the snip tool or some other program?

>>60671322
Well that's still good, thanks

So... What will we call this clusterfuck of a Waifu War?

>>60671849
I mean you could go full cheese and call it the "Pillow Fight"

>>60671849
The Most Holy Crusade of the 3 Imperial pillow Saints

>>60671885
I like that name a lot

i wonder where did saint waifufag go

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We need something like this for Guardsman and Psykerbro. Except less Heretical.

>Look around on the moon of the planet
>I remember this moon, I think I remember somebody calling it Uxor II
>2nd moon on the planet, first one was destroyed long time ago
>Ponder what the hell just happened
>See Eldar along with the loyalists of the Imperium everywhere
>Gets a light slap on the face
>What.Saint
>Saint Celestine slapped me in the face
>She ends up mouthing off to me about how I turned a waifu pillow of her into a holy relic, calling me an idiot and ranting on about the stuff that happens
>"Y-you too"
>She flies off, annoyed of what happened
>MFW I think my waifu is mad at me
>MFW I think I fucked up somehow, I chase after her, hoping to mend relations with her

All the while I see the other saint, (Celestein I believe) setting ablaze the random daemonette that got teleported with all of us

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>See the many images of the warp as I held onto the relic hoping the Daemon would be slain

>The Slaaneshi Tau being devoured by a being I'd imagine to be the prince of darkness himself

>Eldar Soulstones being blasted by an Earthshaker crew

>One of the living saints grabbing me by the wrist, relic in her other hand

>Next thing you know I am plopped onto the planetary moon

>I look up and see the explosion on the surface of the planet

>QT thicc Sororitas is next to me

>MFW I survived

>>60671141
>Be Jeanstealer Minder spezzalist Gitsmacka
>Was hanging on fer dear liof until Boarding Rokkit slams into ground
>Smash my jaw into inside o' rokkit, crack a couple o' me teef
>ZoggingFlyboy.git
>Hear loud tinboi curses an familiar booms o' tinboi gunz.
>KRUMPTIME.ORK
>Grab Skorcha off weapons rack in boardin' rokkit, strap on tank an' climb onta side o' da rokkit to roast a git
>Tinboss iz shootin blindly at the weird rapey vine fing stuck on da front o' da rokkit screamin like a scaredy lil' grot getting nommed on by a squig
>LAFF.greenskin
>Dun make a move ta help, just stand dere laffing at his misery

>>60671553
>after walking for half an hour on this moon i start hearing voices
>i swear saint Celestine is telling the other saint how it's his fault that a pillow was turned into a holy artifact
>a pillow
>waitwhat.caliban
>i swear that in my 250 years of serving the Imperium i've never heard something as retarded as that
>wish i brought a librarian,this shit needs to be recorded
I need to get an explanation on why a pillow turned into an emperorfucking holy artifact. Hope those fucking magpies aren't around

>>60672150
Correction, we (as in the Basilisk crew and me) blasted Slaanesh in the face and towed the soulstones out from the warp as we did so. No I don't know how we pulled that off and lived either.

>Be Necron Lord
>Shooting at rape vines to protect pelvic area
>It's not really helping
>Hear and see an ork-nid laughing at my predicament
>Fuck him, he doesn't even know how fucked this vine shit is
>Manage to free myself of the rape vines enough and latch onto the rocket
>Start climbing up the windshield
>Vines are apparently persistent and make a grab for my Gauss cannon
>Get stuck in a tug of war for my only viable weapon with fucking vines
>Manage to win and get away from the shit
>Take some more shots at it just for good measure

>Be Ultramarine
>Battle Barge finally dewarps
>whatthefuck.codex
>Did we actually miss this shitshow?!
>Damn it, somebody needs to beat Brother Vader around for a while!
>I knew stopping for donuts was a bad idea!

>>60672455
>Be Necron Warrior
>Somehow live through this clusterfuck
>Swear i've heard our Aeonic Orb go off
>Anyways,now we're trapped beteween orks, rape trees, and our own flayed ones
>It's only a matter of time before those creppy fucks turn on us
>Ijustwantedtosleep.necrodermis
>See Necron Lord
>He's on a tug of war with the fucking rape vines for a Gauss Cannon
>Have an idea
>Bet the fucker knows where the ships are,he's just hiding it from us
>First i'll ask nicely, and if he dosen't budge, i'll use my Gauss Flayer
>It may have a crack on the barrel,but what could go wrong?
>

>>60671707
>Be Me
>Kaptin 'F. Merkury' Goldteef
>When da zog did dat hunk o' biomass get frustas?
>Why didn't da gunz knock it toward da moon like I wanted?
>I guess dis Nid-fing wants ta play squig-chicken wid me Wuldkrumpa
>InnerSpeedFreekActivated.greenskin
>"FIRE ALL DA RED BOOSTAS! MAXIMUM RAMMIN' SPEED BOYZ!!"
>'all o' dem boss? But some o' da boostas is inside da hulk-'
>"DO IT YA ZOGGIN' GROT!! ITZ TIME TA GO SUPAFAST!!"
>Start slamming all the red buttons on da engine board
>Wuldkrumpa shakes violently
>An Orkified Looted Dauntless explodes outta Wuldkrumpa's port bow an' slams inta da biomass loik a giant rokkit wid more da enuff force to knock it back toward da moon an' dem pesky humies
>"Welp, dat shuld do eet-"
>Realize dat I just primed ALL o' Wuldkrumpa red boostas rokkits ta go off in 3... 2... 1...
>"Oh fer Mork's sake."
>Entire YUGE spacehulk goes into an out of control barrel roll as it explodes forward, scrapping the top o' da Nid-Ork biomass an' going prow-first at Dark Angel ship ovah dat Moon while several frigate-sized hulks corkscrew off toward da Ultramarine Battle Barge dat just showed up like giant unguided missiles
>All while "Don't Stop Me Now" can be heard playing all through zoggin space

>>60672196
>>60672500
>Be Interrogator Chaplin
>Get a vox signal from brother Penicillinus
>apparently an Ultrasmurf vessel has dewarped nearby
>fuck.innercircle
>hope they don't start asking question like "why are you here,why are you asking imperial saints about traitor marines and why can't we accompany you in tracking down said traitors"

>Finally get Celestine to talk to me
>She explains to me that she didn't want to be tied into this, telling me that she only helped to kill the daemon cause he was turning the entire world to shit
>"I-It's not like I wanted to fight alongside you you weeb, I did it for the emperor, idiot"
>I look down onto the planet and tell her how at least we can purify it in his name
>"F-Fine, but if you get into trouble, I'm only going to save you because we're on the same side"
>FuckYes.Blessings
>We rally all imperial forces to land back onto the planet, calling imperial navy ships to transport us
>Reports of Ultrasmurfs finally coming to help the cause for the emperor, apparently they stopped for an entire shipment of donuts on the way here
>Reallynow.Voxcast

Anyways, how do I make Celestine-chan like me, she seems a little cold (Not unlike the holy relic, emperor bless), but at least she agrees we need to purge the xenos and heretics together.

...Maybe she will warm up to me if I purge enough heretics with her

>be da kullektive WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
>or da bottom 'alf of it, anyway
>sent flyin' off in Mork knows what direkshun afta gettin' 'it wif sum flyin' gubbin an' dat zoggin' freeboota'z entire zoggin' ship
>dumb sellchoppa's probably gonna slam inta wunna doze spehss murhreen barges
>'eartychuckle.wagh
>not sure if da top 'alf is still alive, but figger we can check
>
>teknikly, it is
>a thin paste on da hull
>but alive
>good fing we still got da queen wif our half
>Gork knows where we'z goin', though

>maybe if ya rust 'em first?

>>60672667
>>60672718
>Anyways what was i doing
>Yes the Imperial Saints
>Go talk to them
>Stop
>Take a good look at one of the saints
>First of all,he dosen't seem familiar,and he does have this aura of inexpirence and, how can i describe it, military subservience
>Second of all,he's being chewed on by Celestine
>Why does the word tsun pop into my head
>Third of all, it appears that Saint Celestine,honored be her name, can make copies of herself. Oh wait it's just another saint
>Anyways,start walking to their camp
I swear to the Lion if this shithole is a shrine world

>>60672455
>be me, Ork Flyboy Wazzruk
>Guess I didn't krump dat tinboss wid me trukk rokkit, cuz now he's fighting wid dem vine fings on its windshield
>and getting it all scratched up wid his shiny metal ass
>take aim wid Slugga
>Change mind, grab shoota instead. Change mind again an' point both guns against windshield
>"OI YA SHINY METAL GIT! GET OFFA MY WINDSHIELD!!"
>Unleash all my dakka right through the windshield at tinboss's ass just after he gets rid o' da vine fing.
>Sure, ah broke my own windshield, but it's da zoggin' principal o'f dam matter
>>60672606
>Look up into sky an' see Wuldkrumpa... doin' a barrelroll an' tryin' ta ram multiple beakie ships wid chunks o' itself? >>60672500
>>60672667
>"...Sumfing ain't roight wid dat kaptin, I sayz. But nooooo! Nobody lissens ta Wazzruk!"

>be sanctioned psyker
>wake up with a mixture of confusion and pain
>why can't I see out of one eye?
>oh, right, warp rage vaporized it
>why do both my hands hurt though? I used only one for the warp bolt
>look down at hands
>one looks like someone stapled an anemic salamander's hand to my forearm
>the other is being held in a claw
>lolwut
>look up at daemonette currently embracing me
>whyhasnoonepurgedyou.die
>too weak to wrestle myself free from the beast due to all of my injuries
>barely manage to croak out a demand for my immediate release to the foul creature
>I need to get to my guardsbro
>he's just been violated and needs my support in this most dire of time

>>60672012
I can dig it. There'd better be one for farseer and daemonette too though.

>>60672859
wait aren't the orks on the planet,not on the moon?

>>60672603
>>60672859
>Still be Necron Lord
>Trying to make sure the vines won't steal my gauss cannon
>See an actual Necron Warrior who isn't covered in vines or skin
>Thank fuck
>He wants to know where the ships are
>What sort of question is that they're at our fucking base
>Pretty sure he's fucking with me
>Go back to fighting for gauss cannon ownership with vines
>Finnally rip it off
>Get shot multiple times from the other side of the windshield
>Fall off with my lower half missing and a ruined gauss cannon
>Vines violate whats left of my ruined pelvis
>I'm gonna need new legs
>

>>60671885
Yeah this is about how i imagine a pillow fight in the 4ok univesre would look

>>60672903
Yes? I think the spacehulk's just so big it can be seen all the way down from the planet's surface (assuming the 'crons are still down there of course).

>>60672903
some are in space and some are on the planet still

>Be on the Moon, decide to hit on QT thicc Sororitas
>She Rejects me, telling me how I vomited in the back of the rhino while I was still drunk off Cadian Whiskey and a hiveworld 40 oz
>FeelsBadMan.Bolter
>Sitting on moonrock alone
>Sadboy.Vox
>Gets a pat on the back
>See the Celestine double, carrying the holy relic
>"Ara Ara, Inquisitor, you should be lucky that you managed to survive all this"
>She Gives me a warm hug, and tells me that I served well for the imperium
>She looks at the relic
>"You know, I always resented Celestine, being a knockoff and having to explain to the sisters that my name is actually Saint Celestein, and that I'm actually wearing the armor of Saint Catherine, not Katherine...."
>She goes off about her life, and how when she fought alongside Celestine, they managed to accept that they are very different even though they look similar and have different names
>Tells me about how she accepts that she is an individual, even though she seems like a knockoff
>I feel better for hearing her tell me this, somehow


Why are living saints so based?

>>60672954
>Be Necron Warrior
>That went a lot smoother than i thought, maybe i'm being too paranoid
>Fuck it, i'll help him get out of the rape forest
>After that i'm nicking the first ship i see
>I should probably fix my Flayer
>But how
>See an ork in what appears to be a badly build vehicle>>60672859

>Tickettofreedom.C'tan

>Be Ultramarine
>See some abomination hurtling towards our Battle Barge
>It appears to be an amalgamation of Tau, Ork, Tyranid, and Emperor-knows-what else.
>braceforimpact.boom
>If I die, I blame Brother Vader

>>60672829
>>60673040

>finally catch up to the Saint little troupe
>Saint Celestine is still talking with what i can only
presume is the new saint
>"Forgive me, most holy imperial saint Celestine but i need to ask you about traitorus marines"
>Saint Celestine stops talking
>She turns to me
>I have never seen such spite and anger in a face before
>What could have i said to awaken such anger
>ohwait.bolter
>Remeber that there were 3 saints
>mistakes were made

>Be Guardsman
>Actually doing alright now that Rapeseer has calmed down
>Overhear a Hospitaler mumbling something about "Nymph Syndrome" or something.
>abovemypaygrade.grunt
>Gotta try and get up so I can help my buddy
>I can only shudder at what that damn Daemonette is planning to do to him
>notonmywatch.purge

>>60673062
>Be Mad Mekboy Razzafing
>Turned Boardin' rokkit inta Rokkit-trukk, get knocked out cuz dat Flyboy iz a proppa' git an' tried ta ram da tinboss wid da rokkit-trukk
>Wake up ta Wazrukk shootin' da tinboss's ass off through windshield
>'Eartylaff.greenskin
>Spot tinboi walkin' closer through
>tinboi 'as wun o' dem 'Gauss Flayer' gunz
>IMMALOOTDAT.Mek
>Grab mah rokkit-stikk and fire a rokkitt it at tinboi through broken windshield

>Be giant golden eagle who used to be Lord Solar Macharius
>Been having popcorn out with my new navy-bro's in the warp.
> Some top tier shit just went down on that planet.
>Faith energy manifesting so strong it's literally tangible in the warp.
>All over a fucking body Pillow
>Chuckling.crusade.
> Kinda enjoying this whole helping people thing
>Feels like what I used to do when I was alive and not an eagle
> "Hey captain Valthuvias, you know any other wars being fought for dumb shit like this?"
> Armored top half of captain looks thoughtful for a warpminute
> "Well there's always the war for the Armageddon system"
>Fuckit.crusade
>Give the navy crew angel bodies.
>Time to go conquer some more shit.

>>60673317
>Be Necron Warrior
>THAT'S A FUCKING MISSILE
>takecover.necrontyr
>On the plus side, i'm still functional,on the downside,my leg is fucked
>Their veichle is closing distance,fast
>Hear one of them talking about my Gauss Flayer
>"Want it? THEN TAKE IT OVERGROWN MUSHROOM"
>I love my one liners
>Oh fuck their "trukk" is almost on me
>Fire
>Wait the Flayer isn't supposed to vibrate like that
>Where am i
>Did...did i die
>Oh wait i'm still in the forest
>Look at my body
>Where's my everything
>Atleast i took those things out,i hope
>Hey,i have one arm sorta intact and i can hear the scarabs coming
>Wait why are bathed in skin and blood
>OH NO
>NONONONO
>I WILL NOT BECOME ONE OF THOSE FUCKING FLAYED CUNTS
>START CRAWLING AS FAST AS I CAN
>SEE DITCH
>An idea forms in my head
>DIG PROTOCOL ENGAGED
>Manage to dig myself underground
>After the swarm is gone, i can hopefully try to crawl my way out of here

>>60673114
>>60673163

>Be me
>Kaptin F. Merkury Goldteef
>Freeboota boss o' da currently outta control Space Hulk Wuldkrumpa
>See 'frigate hulks' hit ram back an' front o' Ultramarine battle barge
>Not enough for a kill, but enuff ta knock on a collision course wid da moon
>entire hulk shakes as it crashes prow first inta side o' Dark Angel vessel, still spinning in a barrel roll an raining chunks all over da moon below
>"Oh fer Gork's sake, I wanted ta loot dat barge, not make it Wuldkrumpa's figgahead."
>boostas finally shut off an hulk starts drifting in orbit 'above da moon, still spinnin' slowly
>Sigh.
>"Da Meks an' Lootas iz nevah gunna let me 'ear da end o' dis..."

>>60673204
>Be Daemonette
>preparing to be ourged by a saint and guardsbro
>Promise self to forever appear to psyker-bro in his dreams
>give him one last kiss
>i'll always be with you when you sleep, that's what you get for having a warp connection

>>60673607
*purged, phone typing is hard

>>60673568
>Be Apothecary Pennicillinus of the Deathwing
>EMPEROR WHAT IS HAPPENING
>WHY IS THE SPACE HULK CRASHING ONTO US
>Calm yourself,you've lived through
>Part of the space hulk appears out of nowhere
>OK PENNICILLINUS,IF YOU DIE, IT'LL BETTER BE KILLING FOUL XENOS
>thank god i still have my bolter and that chaingun brother Rushius gave me as a token for saving his live
>Use my hellfire bolter to melt the ship's wall and the chainsword to cut through
>Xenoshereicome.heresy

>>60673524
>Still be Necron Lord
>See Necron warrior get fucked by his flayer and rocket into the brush
>Not sure where he went but wherever he is he's going to get something deserving of Necron heroism
>That is if he's still alive
>Look at the Ork Vehicle
>Not sure if the engine is fucked and they're dead or just stunned
>Try to call in units
>All I can hear is Flayed fags getting fucked and shit
>C'Tan dammit
>See a flayed one come in from the brush
>The one with rotten meat and Nurglings
>aw fuck
>at least he won't try to fuck me like some of the other flayed fags
>Ask him if he can call for transport since all I'm getting is Robotic Hentai audio
>

>>60673727
>Be Necron Warrior
>Stop hearing the clattering of metal
>Crawl out
>Try to send an audio to the Lord
>My inner radio is broken
>Fuck
>Wait, i think i can see him,talking to a...flayed one
>Fuck this planet and fuck the fucking C'tan
>Start crawling towards him
>Hope he sees me,and the orks don't
>I've better get a cape and a staff by the end of this
>And some limbs would be nice too

>>60673727
>Be me
>Rotten Flayed one
>Found a way out of the forest fight with my Nurglings
>Not to sure where Necron Lord is
>Hope he's ok though
>Find a small clearing in the forest
>See Necron Lord on the ground
>Oh my God's his legs are gone
>Looks like someone shot them off
>He actually looks relived to see me
>He asks me if I can call for a Spyder and specifically one not covered in blood and skin
>Not sure why but alright

File: 32105161_1015516506008619(...).jpg (54 KB, 600x600)

54 KB JPG

>Be back onto the planet
>Rallied Imperial forces and recruit local imperial citizens to help our cause
>We must Purify this land and turn this place into a shrine world
>Imperial workers and techpriests begin building entire city on the planet, the city being named Sanctus Corpus Pillowius
>Celestein and Inquisitor lead their individual forces to clean the land from stray orks, Necrons, and any other species of Xenos
>Me and Celestine go off to do the same, I still carry the holy relic on my back
>Although my actual waifu is next to me, I still find the pillow comforting even though I am a bloody saint
>Celestine is still cold, but occassionally cracks a slight smile on her face when I immolate the occasional xeno

I'll leave you guys to post as you guys will so I can sleep things off,

Emperor Protects /tg/

>>60673799
>Still be Necron lord
>Releived that there is still one flayed one not fucking insane
>Still hate it that it's wearing rotten flesh
>Nurglings keep on trying to "help"
>Shoo the nasty fuckers away
>Notice the Necron Warrior crawling from the brush
>Oh shit he lived
>Nurglings flock to him
>All they do is hand him scraps asking him if this is a part of his body
>Ok, not what I thought they would do but still that scrap is covered in nasty shit

>>60673876
>Be 1/3 of a Necron Warrior
>A Flayed One finds
>Never beem so happy to see one of these fucks before
>Are those demons?
>I'll deal with that later
>"Lord,you need support immediatlyz"
>Wait,Lord?
>This fucking idiot thinks i'm the Necron Lord
>Use this to my advantage
>Ask him for a clean Spyder thank you very much
>Soon i'll be able to walk and to get revenge for my poor limbs
>Hope that fucking Ork is dead
>If he's not, i swear to the Gods i'll shove the blade of my Gauss Flayer down his throat so far that it'll reach his ass

>>60673727
>>60673799
>>60673876
>>60673967

>Be Ork Gitsmacka
>Zog. Dat. Mekboy.
>Almost got krumped by dat tinboi's gun goin' boom and ruinin' da 'bottom' o' da rokkit-trukk
>Flyboy an' Mek iz eitha stunned or krumped, dun really care, da tinboss iz crawlin' away
>Get back up on top of rokkit, set skorcha ta 'cut' an' get ready ta chop up some tinboi
>Weird tinboi wearin' skin an' dat same tinboi whose gun blew up and start ta help tinboss
>Decide ta play it safe an' pull out a stikkbomb instead
>Pull pin an' throw it an' stikkbomb straight at back o' tinboss's head, hoping it'll take 'em all out
>"CATCH YA SHINY METAL GIT!"

>>60674017
>Be fucked up Necron Warrior
>Wait what's that sound
>OH NO
>NOT AGAIN I'VE BARELY HAVE A TORSO LEAVE ME ALONE
>HE'S THROWING A ROCKET TO THE LORD
>SCREAM FIRST THING THAT POPS INTO MY HEAD
>"BOSS LOOK OUT FOR THE ROCKET"
>Too late
>At least he sorta dogded the rocket
>We all 3 get launched into the air
>What kind of sick joke is this
>I can hear clattering
>THE SPYDERS
>I HAVE TO GET TO THEM
>THESE ORK WILL NEVER CATCH ME
>MAXIMUN CRAWLIING SPEED ENGAGED

>>60673967
>Be Necron Lord
>Rotten Flayer is apparently retarded and thinks the warrior is the Lord
>Oh well, a Spyder is on the way now
> Hear "CATCH YA SHINY METAL GIT!"
>Ohgodswhy.orks
>Feel sticky bomb stick right to the back of my head
>Now is the perfect time to panic
>Try pulling it off to no avail
>See some vines closeby
>Might as well try
>Crawl like a daemon towards the vines
>Stupid thing latches on the grenade
>manage to get it off of my head with a bit of my cranium still stuck to it
>Fail to escape blast radius a smack into the truck
>processors are fucked by shrapnel and truck impact
>Getting increasingly hard to stay conscious
>Hope that Spyder gets here soon

>>60674145
fuck i was too slow, oh well

>>60674153
It still works, after all i did leave howa and where the Necron Lord ended up since you're writing him.

>>60674176
alright

>>60673667
>Be grot on Wuldkrumpa
>Kaptin F. Merkury Goldteef has gone an' zogged us all this time. Ship spinning out of control, gravity's all wrong, new genestealers are running rampant on the ship AGAIN
>I hate Mondays
>Suddenly bulkhead in front of me gets hot
>OH GORK OH GORK A BEAKIE'S COMING IN WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE-
>bulkhead knocked out by beakie falls on top of me and squishes me into a pulp as "We Will Rock You" starts blasting from the speakers at bone-shaking volume
>ZOG. MONDAYS

>>60674125
>Can somewhat see the spyders through fucked eyesight
>Start crawling to safety
>Nurglings try helping me move
>Feels gross as hell and all it did was make me move faster just to get away from those disgusting things
>Can see an Ork shape in peripherals
>Crawl faster
>Make it and get scooped up by Spyder along other the other Necron Warrior
>Nurglings go for their Flayer along with another Spyder
>Tell the Spyder to get us back to base for repairs
>Spyder begins taking us to freedom
>Fucking finally

>Be FUCKING SCARED Necron Warrior
>I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I COULD FEAR
>THE SPYDERS HAVE CATCHED UP TO ME
>YES.C'TAN
>THEY'RE MOVING US TO BASE
>Throw a rock to the ork with metal bits
>That'll show him

>Be newly trained Guardsman
>Get deployed to purify the planet
>Learn it's going to be a Shrine World
>weholynow.praise
>Get issued a Flamer instead of a lasgun
>Somebody fucked up, but I'm not about to complain
>Tyranids, Orks, Tyranorks, and the like ain't gonna burn themselves!
>Well, maybe the Orks will. They're kinda stupid like that
>Look up and see a Battle Barge get hit by something
>Uh oh
>I hope those Space Marines are alright
>Suddenly realize I'm in the middle of a battle between Orks and Necrons
>ohshit.fuck
>Take cover in a conveniently placed hole in the ground
>Plan to spring out and torch any greenskin or Necron that gets too close
>Ilovethesmellofpromethiuminthemorning.nam

>Be Nurgling
>I'm having so much fun helping my Big Metal friend!
>Papa Nurgle made sure to tell us to mind our manners, after all!
>After Metal friend gets picked up by some big metal spider, I go to join my other new friends
>They're so funny when they pretend they're humans!
>friendshipismagic.warp
I wonder what our Big Brother Typhus is doing? I haven't seen him since we came here to play and I'm getting kind of worried... I hope he didn't get hurt. Getting hurt isn't fun.

>>60674271
>Be Apothecary Pennicillinus of the Deathwing on A SUICIDE CRUSADE
>Squish something beneath my mighty >Terminator Armor and the wall of the hulk
>Turns out it was an ork
>Hear something about Mondays
>Fucking hate Mondays
>Anyways, i rev up my chainsword an charge the nearest group of orkids i find
>Purgingfeelsgood.Inferno
>After bathing myself in blood and burning up the spores, i go on my way
>Gotta find that Warboss and show him whose the biggest "git" of us two

>>60674271
[spoilers]forgot to mention the music, but yeah, brother Pennicillinus is becoming a fan of Queen real fast[/spoiler]

>Be Ultramarine
>Fuck.
>Orks.
>Seriously, we just had that Battle Barge polished and everything!
>Hear about an Apothecary from the Dark Angels Deathwing detachment kicking some serious greenskin ass
>Might as well help a Battle Brother out, even if he's from a different chapter
>brothafromanothaprimarch.codex
>Grab my bolter and a chainsword and go rushing after him
>Shouldn't be too hard
>Just listen for the stomps of Terminator Armor and dying Orks

>>60674437
>Be ork blender known as Pennicillinus
>For a brutish race,thse ork have a fine fucking taste in music
>hear a vox message
>turns out the ultramarine battlebarge got hit too
>he's heard about me and wants to help me in my suicidal crusade
>feel bad for calling them ultrasmurfs
>"Your help is highly appreciated, fellow angel of death. Courage,honor,for the Lion and the Protector of Ultramar"

>>60674320
>>60674288
>Be Ork Gitsmacka
>Did dat Necron just throw a rock at me?
>Dat cheeky lil' git!
>Chuck a few stikkbombs after the spyders and den climb down into the makeshift rokkit-trukk
>Zog it all, Iz need ta regroup wid any boyz planetside an' den go afta dez tingitz
As entertain as this is, I need to get some sleep. Night boyz!

>>60674571
night dude

>Be Necron Warrior
>>60674571
>Throwing that rock might have been a bad idea
>Thankfull the Spyders and the Scarabs are enough to block the blast
>Don't think we'll able to reach base before being ambushed again though


Good nite you writy git

>Still be Necron Warrior
>I wonder what happened to the goddamm pillow that started all this
>i may never know

>Be Ultramarine
>Funny, for being clad in Terminator Armor, this Apothecary is fast as fuck
>Better keep an eye out for any Bloody Magpies, don't want them to "gift" it while he's distracted
>Catch up with him after a while
>bythecodex.astartes
>He's drenched in enough blood to give a Blood Angel a hard on
>He doesn't seem wounded, though
>Good
>"Greetings, Son of the Lion! I take it your Barge was damaged by these wretched greenskins as well? Regardless, you've done well for yourself."
>Check my equipment for the third time
>gottabecodexcompliant.rowboat

>Be Guardsman
>Ra... I mean, Farseer wants to take me to her Craftworld
>Bel-tang or something
>Eh, why not.
>Beats going back down in that shitshow
>I wonder what Robute Guilliman would say?

>>60674671
>Be Apotheblender Pinnicillinus
>The Ultramarines finally catches up to me
>See the look of surprise on his face,even through our helmets
>wonder why
>look at my gauntlets
>goddammit i could pass a battle brother of the Blood Angels
>anyways, the marine asks me about the state of my ship
>"Yes my fellow battle brother, our Barge was indeed hit by these foul xenos"
>"We must move with utmost haste if we want to find their Warboss and cripple these xeno's forces"
>NorestfortheEmperor'sfinest.Macragge
>Notice how protective of his equipment he is
>I swear if those magpies show up i'll drag them to the rock myself

>>60674437
>>60674524
>Be Me
>Kaptin F. Merkury Goldteef
>SPESS MAHREENS?! IN MAH WULDKRUMPA?!
>Oh zog no. Ah izn't aboot let mah ship get invaded by a bunch o' beakies!
>Grab mah 'spessul noise kannon' an' me choppa in preparation for krumpin' some beakies
>hit da vox system where da beakies iz at:
>"FINGS SHALL GET LOUD NOW YA GITZ!"
>Vox starts blasting loud Queen music at the volume comparable wid da Dirge Casters around da beakies, tryin' ta krump Orkz,bugboyz an' beakies alike.
>Guess dem Noize beakies tech was good fer sumfing after all.

Iz gotz to be getting ta sleep myself boyz. Catch you all tomorrow ya gits!

>>60674845
This apothecary/ necronfag[/spoilers] needs some sleep too,you foul xeno
Catch all of you tommorrow too
if this gets a 1d4chan article i'll bust

>Be Ultramarine
>holyshitthat'sloud.pain
>Brother Pinnicillinus doesn't seem to be bothered, though
>Maybe you get used to it?
>Fire on any Orks that manage to get past the Superhuman blender
>Haven't killed as many as I would like, but there's always later
>First objective is to kill the warboss and shut off that racket
>itsactuallykindacatchy.headbob

Fuck it one more
>>60674912
>>60674845
>Be Apothecary Pinnicillinus
>I know now why thr Blood Angles use so many chainswords,this feels amazing
>That fool of a warboss(did he call himself kaptin) thinks that mere sound can stop the blade of the Lion
>Try to find an opening that won't leave me open attack
>No luck
>Remember that i have an Inferno bolter
>Ork "technology" tends to be flammable
>Cleave any remaning boyz,take aim and fire

>>60674909
have a nice night dude

>>60674983
g'night, dude

>>60670645
>Be random fucking guardsman
>No clue how I survived
>Follow The Great St. Waifu because the fuck else should I do
>guardsmanlife.flashlight
>Maybe get promoted thanks to the massive fucking casualties
>Could be worse
>Lieutenant was an asshole anyway

>>60673930
Any of the locals are still alive LOL

> BE DAKKIES OF HIVEMINDS
> FINALLY GOT MEE-SELF SUM BIOMASS
> WAS JUST FLYIN' AROUND IN A SHIP OF rOGUE TRADIR OR SUM OTHER SHEET
> SHIP'S BIG, BUT NOT ENOUG DAKKA
> GIT AL DA BIOMASS
> GROW BUNCH OF THE MOST DAKKA BIOCANNONS ALL AROUND IT
> CREATE LOT'S NID'S
> TIME TO WAAAAAGGGHHH!

UN DAYE 'ILL RETURN TO OUR HOOMPLANET. IT'S BEEN THE SOMPIEST TING EVAH EXISTED

--------------
> be local wildlife on planet
> now divided into thousands of small hiveminds fighting each other over if Gork or Mork are better
> some fuckers try purge us with fire again
> nottoday.tree
> evolve to addapt to fire
> evolve a mouth to scream WAAAAGGGHHHH!!!
> be phosyhtnesin' all day
> stompin' and dakkain' all night
> WAAGGHHHHHH!

>Be newly trained Guardsman
>HOW LONG HAS THE PLANT LIFE HERE BEEN SENTIENT?!
>idontwanttobeeatenbyatree.panic
>Stay in my fucking hole where it's safe

>Be Nurgle Flayed one
>land in the brush after being tossed into explosion
>I'm alright but my skin got burned
>Feelsbadman.burnt
>Get picked up by a Spyder with all my Nurglings friends
>We're going somewhere safer finally
>Maybe I can get back with my other friends and continue having a fun time
>Alot of the vines reach for our Spyder
>Some of them latch on and make way to the back of the Spyder
>Oh dear
>Try to ignore the lewd sounds of the Spyder as we move through the forest with my Nurglings

File: 5738fb0b9dbcff402ffdbae83(...).jpg (29 KB, 599x369)

29 KB JPG

>be Rogue Trader the meek
>still hiding ship at far side of moon
>witness to cataclysmic Green Lantern event
>witness to Independent Characters materializing on the moon
>witness to more Freddie Mercury since the tail end of the Aurelian Crusade

>IC's are now establishing the planet as a Shrine World
>Ultramarine ships decorating the moons surface
>Dark Angel barge decorating the Ork Space Hulk
>fineAdditionToItsCollection.astropath
>Decide this is the safest time to slip away unnoticed, even with that space hulk careening around the moon
>taking no risks after that all-encompassing war. Keep ship bow pointed at space hulk while creeping away from the planet
>whisper the Litany of the Sneakie Beakie and pray no one sees us

ok, I got the entirety of the first thread screen capped, but how do I put it all together?

>>60676171
You can use Paint or GIMP to manually put them together

> be imperial citizen from the future
> living a few decades after the Great War

> wake up along with my wife
> we smile at each other and take our bodypillows out of bed
- her has immage of great Saint Weaboo
- mine of Saint Celestine and Celestein
> we go to the grand temple to have the purity of our bodypillows confirmed
> all good
> got to job, am woodcutter
> go to office
> exuip chainsword and thick shield
> dress in hazmat-suit and gasmask
> A'ealen is here too, he's an Eldar and fellow woodcutte handles ranged support
> get in formation
> the red-leafed trees are charing
> yellow-leafed are doing biodakka
> ranged units cripple them
> melee units go in, cut the trees up
> collect trunks
> go back to Holy Hiveworld with wood
> minimal losses only 3 men
> wife still at work
> she's a techpriest
> they are working on the Æonic orb
> no progress has been made
> they constantly have to fight Nekrons
> the PDF comprised of pilgrims helps them out usually
> she comes back
> it was Nekrons
> turns out she was suspended from comabt duty
> BECAUSE SHE'S PREGNANT!
> I pick her up and throw her in the air out of happiness
> go pry to temple leter that night
> on our way back we look at the moon it shimmers beutifully at night
> you can berely see how much of an Eldrich abomination it is close up.
> a massive Magus researchs station is orbiting it.
> looks cute, as if our moon had a moon
> as we go back we buy a small bodypillow for our kid
> has no print on it yet
> go to sleep together, ready to wake up and continue our service the next day

>>60676366
please do not spoil the future time traveler

>>60676402
:<

>>60676428
I understand your reasons but it just takes the magic away

>Still random fucking guardsman
>St. Waifu thanked me for my service, gave me a hug and shipped me back to the planet to help what's left of the local population
>readytodie.emprah
>Quickly figure out that literally all of the local wildlife wants to eat/fuck/krump you with extreme prejudice
>Some guy in another squad figured that if the entire planet runs on ork logic, then we should be like orks
>Commissar shot him
>Tried it anyway
>Works like a charm. Turns out that if you focus on being brutally kunnin and kunninly brutal, things are much easier
>Slap a label of "inspired by the Catachans" and call it a day
>Things are looking up already

>>60676439
I don't really think it does; were in epilogue-phase anyway

Wrapping things up catalugion it naming stuff etc. is all that is needed.

>>60676506
Hmm, good point, continue on then time traveler

> Sector name: Ultima

> Subsector name: Unknown if in a Subsector

> System Name: Unknown

> Main Name: Unknown

> Gas Giant Name: Unknown

> Tombworld Gas Giant's Moon Name: Unknown

> Moon of Main planet Name: Unknown

> Craftworld 1: I think name was mantioned in 1st thread

> Craftworld 2: dont think name was mentioned

> Original Name of Doc's Orks: Unknown

> name of visiting D. Eldar Kabals: Unknown

> name of various T'au Cadre: Unknown

> Name Main Planet Capital: Sanctum Corpus Pillouius

> name of original invading Hivefleet : unknown

I don't think most of those things need names, would say barely any do. Those are the things aviable for naming though.

>>60676742
> Necrons don't have special name Either

File: Pillow Fight Thread 1.png (7.72 MB, 9880x6944)

7.72 MB PNG

>>60676303
Ok got the First thread Screen capped in this compilation, first one I've done so if I missed something please tell me. But I'm pretty confident I got everything though it is a bit messy.

>Be Gastonius Adolphus Quintus Caligarus
>Last thing I remember is some weird dude trying to sell me a multi-armed Baneblade
>Not going to bamboozle me out of my pillow
>That’s when I noticed the dud deathstrike missile
>Apparently it wasn’t dud
>Wake up in my savior-pod
>Feel like shit, but at least alive. Thank the Emperor for master grade bionics
>Odd though. My relic Terran archeotech pistol is missing. Along with my wallet
>Only thing around is some oddly chitinous trees, or what’s left of them
>And are those space marine footprints around my pod?
>everything is quiet now, fuck. I missed my chance to obtain a one-of-a-kind bodypillow
>Also it seems my serfs tried to avenge me by ramming the planet with the ship
>bloodypeasants.heraldry
>Maybe that Rogue Trader is willing to trade a first edition Saint Sabbat body pillow for a trip ff of this rock
>Just stay in the safety of the pod, there are some very odd, robotic molestation sounds coming from deeper in the forest

>>60643860

> be captain of Munitorum vessel only breifly mentioned in 1st thread

> for some reason our cargo and the Cargo of a Rogue Trade got mixed up

> mfw. we have dozens of rare 1st edition Saint Celestine pillows in prestine shape on board

> snath one for myself, but am a good guy

> will look for the trader and return the rest

> go look him, heard hewen't back where he came from

> holy shit that's a weird warp-signature

> can't find him

> whymustspacebesofuckingbig.captain

> suddenly explossion somewhere

> the immage on my pillow changed to some T'au Daemon

> It's beutiful I love it

> crew insitinctively finds their way to the stored bodypillows

> mfw. we all start turning to Xeno Slanesh

> mfw. these pillows are now chaos-artifacts worth millions to the more nerdy side of Chaos

> mfw. I have the biggest supply of those things in the Milky Way

>>60676742
Craftworld that got Possessed/consumes/blow'd up was Silver Iscariot. Horny Farseer was from Beil-Tan

>>60676988
Good job.

later someone can capture 2 and 3 and were

Then someone will need to put it on 1d4chan... maybe some writefags or drawfags will add something.

would be cool

Like this thread because the planet survived.
Cold Shoulder is Dead.
Terranis is Dead.
But this shitshow which was 10 times worse... survives and thrives as the trees go WAAAGGHHH!

>>60677077
Nice so those got named.

Maybe the Moon could be named in honour of Silver Icariot somehow?

Maybe just name the moon "Corpse of Icariot" or in High Gothic: "Cadaveribus Pugnatur Icariot"

Here to epilogue this biotch

>Be guardian
>Have known the clutches of death four times now
>Been through a lot...no...ALL of the shit
>Chaos and Tyranids and orks, oh my
>still, teaming up with the Imperium was the best mistake I made
>Turns out that despite us being a bunch of xenos they're more than happy for the extra support, seeing as we're effectively loyalists now
>Not like we have any other home, it was murder-eaten-fucked out of existence then blown to pieces
>Actually we are drafted into imperial guard service, seeing as we're a group that keeps getting back up after falling down
>Miss being a titan though, that was the coolest shit
>Still... being a guardian guardswoman isn't so bad
>Heck, pretty sure it improves morale having xenos around that praise the emperor
>Even found some guardsmen expressing...interest?
>Ahahnothanksiknowwhathappensafterwards.ohgod
>Then again...there's one cute guy...
>Eh, as deputy commisar I'm sure I can make it legal, that'll be less horrid
>Tfw I've found a home
>Tfw it's being a loyal imperial around humans
>What did we call them again?

Probably going to help those Ultramarines take the planet again now it's...less shit. Later though, I'm going to get the lads drinks for a well earned rest

>>60677095
Thanks dude

>first page
Very niceu. Anybody knows more or less when(at what hour)saint waifufag started posting
i gotta blend orks faster

>>60677124
> be harmonica Guardsman
> soul drifting and dissolving in warp after death
> survive only a few seconds conscious
> timeflowdifference.vox
> see my Eldar waifu is doing well
> slightly jelous, but happy

Kinda salty though as I'm the only one who didn't get to become and imperial saint post death... exactly because I fell for the Eldar chick... well I wasn't exactly pious either.. but whatever...

>>60677135
First post was monday 20:30 GMT+1

>Be Farseer
>Rehabilitation and recovery form "Eros Syndrome" has gone smoothly
>I'm thoroughly ashamed and embarrassed by my actions, but I got a cute BF out of the ordeal.
>He seems happy that his Psyker friend has managed to survive the clusterfuck as well.
>Paid a visit to Beil-Tan to introduce beu to the family.
>Surprisingly accepting of the situation
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.witchblade
>Settle down on that planet, now that pillow guy is restoring it.
>Nice to see other Eldar helping out, too
>I just hope something stupid doesn't happen again. The screaming trees is crazy enough without everything going to Hell again.

So how to create a 1d4chan page?

>>60677406
Wait for now.
Stuff is still wrapping up and the naming is not done yet.

>>60677426
Hell, there's a chance shit might just get crazy again once people start waking up. Time will tell.

>>60677443
Hope not. Things wrapped up nicely.

Also all forces besides Imperium are basically gone. A completely new thing with a new hook would need to spring up.

That'd ruin it for me.

Have the planet renamed to celestine

>>60677377
Good ending, but what about daemonette and psyker?

>>60677482
Best not to run things into the ground. That's how Stercus/Cold Shoulder ended up garbage.

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Well, Glad to see that things are about to wrap up. Before anybody makes any other hooks and turn this all into a shitshow, I might as well try to wrap this whole scenario up, start adding names to everything (Honestly didnt expect names to be important, or this to get so big)

>Be working for Segmentum command
>See a ping of some backworld formerly named Antioch XLII
>Read reports saying that some xenofuckers turned the planet into a total clusterfuck
>Read that a guardsman held a depiction of Saint Celestine that turned into a holy relic, which was used as a weapon with two bayonets attached to it
>Read of the daemon craftworld being destroyed while saints manifested onto the planet, and destroyed a daemon prince, leaving a giant hole in the planet leading to it's core
>Read that Eldar helped the imperium, and that now the local area is now allied with them (Gulliman and his waifu would be proud to hear that)
>Read that a saint ascended there, and now it's being renamed and rebuilt as a shrine world
>Reminds me of some conflict i've heard of before, something about cold shoulders...
>MFW

I'll leave it open to you guys to help put up names, I'll put up a strawpoll for the best results

>Be Necron Lord
>Currently being carried back to base by Spyder for Repairs
>Take in the landscape for a moment to fully realize how fucked up this place is
>The Tree's are eating anything that's not a plant and expanding their territory
> See more fucking Ork-Nids spreading through the lands
>See fucking Flayed ones attacking their own and spreading the curse and vines
>Realize that I need to get my base fortified
>Decide on ditching the fucking pillow idea and focus on protecting my tomb because my bed is there
>I could probably just make somebody pillows at home anyway

>>60677512
*celestein

>>60677528
Psycherbro survived.
Daemonette developped weird fetish fo love, holding hands and love.
In the warp the former Por'o (and much more) is a Daemonette now too and is consoling her.

>>60677674
A poll? Where is it?

Also true a good story knows when it's time to end. We nearly wen't overboard, but luckily not this is a good spot.

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>Be Guardsman named Russel
>Be stationed on the backwater planet of Antioch XLII
>Some fucker almost gets blammed by commissar and ends up running around commanding our regiment with a body pillow of Saint Celestone
>Somehow survive this entire ordeal despite seeing all the heresy that happened
>MFW I could have ascended into sainthood instead, but I traded craig's helmet for a box of fruit instead of a body pillow

It's not all too bad though, I got promoted to a tank commander, and I get to stay on this planet

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Planet naming poll is up

https://strawpoll.com/a95kkbke
>Be Saint WaifuCommander
>Shrine city is being built with three golden statues of the three saints that appeared during the Body Pillow conflict
>Inquisition, Techpriests, and many other factions of the Imperium come to confirm that the body pillow of Celestine with it's bayonet attachments is indeed truly a Holy Relic blessed by three seperate saints, and the Emperor

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>>60677842
>Domina Pillowus
We definitely have a winner

>>60677674
F. Merkury Goldteef here. Still gotta wrap up the spacehulk angle, but I'll try and wrap that up in a few posts when I get back from work.

> be Sister Hospitaler animal lover
> after stiching up dozens of Eldar some Maxus Xenobiologists got interested in me
> stalking me now
> explains how he deal with critters
> keeps pestering me
> tells me I can keep worshipping the Emperor even when working for the Mechanicus
> he got me at kritters, just have been coi afterwards
> wants to establish a researchs station around "Corpse of Icariot"
> we'll be researching all types of fun Xenos
> agree to proposal
> no annoying Sosoritas will keep bullying me

Yay!

OK wrapped up all my characters.

I'm ready for ascenssion to 1d4chan

As far as I can see this story wrapping up and there are only a few loose ends that need to be tied up to keep it shut nice tight.

The Necrons with a Flayer Curse OutBreak.

The Ork-nids still on the planet.

That Ork ship in space.

I think there was another Necron Lord coming in to get that pillow for his collection but I don't think that went anywhere.

Maybe the Chaos gods reaction to this and probably even the Emporers or Guillimans, I dunno.

Any other loose ends that need to be tied up before more are made out of nowhere from Tzeench's boredom?

>>60678125
I''ve been the one writing the Hivemind. I think I wrapped it up 99.99% of the Orknids are dead.

The rest of them along with all regressed-native-tyranids[ plants+ small critters] have broken up into thousands of small hiveminds.

They currently all act just like feral Orks. On whether Gork or Mork is better.

DEM ALL BE STILL WAAAAGGHHHIN'!!!!

>>60678162
That's a good place to end that storyline

>>60678176
Yea, the planet can stay as Holy Catachan wannabe.

>>60678125
> be Tzeench
> told everyone that this was my keikkaku
> they keep telling me I did jackshit and send the least of my forces
> shutup.warpsorcery
> convince the lesser Chaos God's that they are idots
> ...
> does not end in Exterminatus
> 3 Imperium Wins
> Shrine World established
> other Chaos Gods think I'm a traitor
> need to pathetically apologiz
> worst stolen keikkaku ever
:€

>>60678036
apothecary/necronfag here,just posting from a different IP
how do you wanna wrap it up

>>60678371
Other Necron here
I was thinking of getting new legs and the Necron Warrior a cool cape and stuff, cleaning up the rest of the Flayed ones, making bodypillows at the base, and seeing where that leads us

What do you think?

>>60678320
Poor Tzeench

So what about the Blood Ravens and Minotaurs, what happened to them?

>>60678457
I dunno exactly but I think they took off after the victory

>>60678440
sounds good.
right now i can't post too much but i will in half and hour or an hour at worst
feel free to write something up if you want,ill read it when i get home

>>60678464
Ok, I wonder which one backstabbed the other and stole their shit first?

>>60678498
both,at the same time

>>60678498
Don't you mean "Gifted"?

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>>60678506
>>60678514
>Pictured here are the Blood Ravens and Minotaurs attempting to both rob and murder each other

>>60678471
Alright dude
-------------------------------------------------
>Be Necron Lord
>Thoroughly tired
>Place a quick order far all sane Necrons to start fortifying the place and to eliminate all Flayers
>Place another to make this Necron Warrior my right-hand man with a model remake and a kickass cape and lightning stick to go with it
>If another outbreak happens I'll need more Necrons I can count on to do shit correctly and not fuck the plants
>Start to approach the base entrance
>Witness a bunch of flayers getting obliterated by Other Necrons
>The sight pleases me greatly
>As we're entering I can see some of the Flayed ones are vanishing into the warp while most decide to merely retreat
>Oddbutalright.Pillar
>Get reports that all Flayed upside and underground have been obliterated
>The Rape roots have breached the lower areas of the catacombs but luckily since there's an absence of tree's they're way too easy to keep back
>Enter Repair room with Warrior
>Feels nice to be back home
>Aquire new legs and lightning stick
>While the Necron Warrior get an upgrade to Lord I go check to see what we have for pillow making
>Unfortunatly not a lot, we'll have to find materials to make some good pillows

>>60676742
The old crew Dok belonged to before he done gone and turned themselves into orknidz was Da Kontinent Krumpaz, after their old warboss' exploits in WAAAGH Planetsmasha. I figure if we're gonna name all of these, I may as well offer something.

>>60678636
>Be Necron Warrior
>If i had an actual body, the cramps would be horrible
>Also the bleeding too
>Luckly i am a machine
>Finally arrive at base
>Homesweethome.Overlord
>The Lord places an order to fortify our base and to murder all Flayers with extreme prejudice
>Sad that i can't join my fellows in the purge
>Necron Lord then turns me into his right hand man
>Bitchin
>Even get to see some of the slaughter
>Glorious
>Arrive at the repair room
>The actual repairs feel...different
>Look at my new chasis
>I look like a Necron Lord
>Fuckingamazing.Star_gods
>Hear the Lord asks for materials in pillow making
>Remember that i actually saw the guy with the pillow
>More importantly,the pillow itself
>I'm not an expert in pillowmancy, but that thing looked soft and was made of strings
>Probably made of some plant
>And the only plantlife we've encountered so far has tried to fiddle and kill us
>This is gonna be a long day

Btw where did Mercury Goldteef and the ultramarine bro go?

>>60679037
Mercury said he'll finnish his stuff after work XD

Oh alright

>>60678962
>Be Necron Lord
>Wondering what a pillow is made of
>Ask my right-hand man
>He thinks they're made of some plants
>Makes sense, rocks aren't very soft compared to plant
>Send Scarabs to gather samples of plants to determine which one is the best for pillows
>While that happens I start to wonder what image will go on the pillows
>Decide to ask my Right-hand man if we should put up a poll for the Necrons or not since he is the Necron most knowledgeable on pillows here.

>>60679150
> be Hivemind Remanant Palappugo
> we WAAAGGHHed to thin-bis all da way back to their piramid thingy
> now they climbin' out to make pillows outta us
> me gonna show you

> be giant fucking tree
> drop leaves
> evolve all branches into bioguns
> turn yellow for maximum dakka
> wishIcouldmove.plant

> WAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!

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>>60679150
>Be Necron Lord,formely Warrior
>Original Lord asks me what material would be best to make pillows
>"Most likely plants my leige"
>Afterwards he asks me if we should put up a poll for what necron shall be in the pillows
>Sure,why not
>But if somebody votes for anything that looks like a flayed one i'll send to fight the orks with a cracked Gauss Heavy Cannon
>Explore the area around our Tomb
>Fortifications are going nicely
>One of the Warriors salutes me
>Nice
>Hear clattering of limbs
>Wait didn't the Spyders carry us
>Look at>>60679213
>The trees are turning into fucking bioguns
>Grab one of the Gauss Binoculars
>See orks
>Fucking bug Orks
>mfw their WAGGGGHHHH never ever stops

>>60679343
> THE WAGH IS ETERNAL PUNY METALIC 'UNS
> MAKE SMALL PLANTS GROW LEGGS AND TURN RED
> MELEE UNITS READY!

> MFW. THE OTHER RESIDUAL HIVEMIND DECIDES TO ATTACK ME FROM THE BACK AS WE ARE WEKENED

> cunt calls himself Limmy and controlls Animal Residual forms

> WAAAAAGGHHH! DIS IS FUN!!!

>>60679423
>Be Necron Lord 2
>OH FUCK THE BUSHES ARE RUSHING US
>WHY ARE THEY RED
>SCREAM TO THE NECRON WARRIORS TO FORM A MOTHERFUCKING FIRING LINE
>HEAR THE THUNDERING OF FEET
>MORE FUCKING ORKS
>GREAT
>WAIT WHY Are they attacking each other?
>These are orks are so fucking dense that not even a Gauss Exterminator could disintegrate their stupidity
>Talking about Gauss Exterminators...
>Contact Lord 1
>Tell him to deploy the heaviest artillery we have
>Timetogetrevenge.destroyer

Harmonica guardsmen gets recruited into solar Macharius's new core of lesser demons of the emperor.

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Guess I'll wrap up for my char as well. It's been fun people.

> Several decades later.
> Still Enginseer, still attached to the IG by my own request.
> Spreading the word of the waifu wars wherever I may roam.
> Someone once asked me if love can bloom.
> Son not only can it bloom it can also boom.
> Shattering a continent kind of boom.
> Shut up and take my word for it, I was there and contributed.
> Slightly, but still contributed, and that's all the Omnissiah intends for us.
> So pick up that lasgun and strap on that flak armour, we got an Eldar craftworld to save.
> Since you asked, yes I'm cursed to start my sentences with S ever since I stole a bunch of Eldar Soulstones from some warp gribbly.
> Such is life, and life is good.
> StayCrusading.blacktemplar

>>60679343
>Still be Necron Lord 1
>Create Poll for what image should go on the pillows

https://strawpoll.com/s9e8hf4g

>Send to all Necrons
>Get contacted by Necron Lord 2 that Orks are on the outskirts of our base and to deploy the artillery
>Start Deploying the stuff that wasn't destroyed and is still capable of delivering artillery
>We still have a few Sentry pylons though so we should be fine
>Arrive outside to watch the Artillery hit
>Wow that's a lot of Orks
>Wait are they fighting each other?
>Artillery strikes create clouds of sand and plant matter
>Doesn't seem to do much
>Borrow some Binoculars to see
>Can't really determine which side is winning
>My money is on the one with the tree's

>>60679681
Bless you you crazy techpriest

Keep the void dragon asleep please

>>60679709
>https://strawpoll.com/s9e8hf4g

> The trees keep fighting, but they are surrounded.

> Limmy runns in and inspite of being torn to shreds rips out the Giant Dakkatree

> both fall on the ground and bleed to death

> the the lower Orknids scatter looking for new Hivemind to join by instinct

> limm lies dead n the ground in front of the Nekrons

> he's about the size of a Dreadnought

> while partly armoured most of his body is still covered in thick fluffy fur like when he met the Sister Hospitaler

OP here, still playing as Saint WaifuCommander/Inquisitor/Marcus/Minor Characters in the story
Strawpoll definitely has a winner and I don't think any of the other choices are really going to catch up


>Be back onto planet's surface, Gave the Relic off to Saint WaifuCommander and Saint Celestine while they build the Shrine Capital
>Been working with Sororitas and Knockoff Celestine, Celestein for several months now, a planetary Guard Post on the other side of the planet
>Named after the Planet's original name, Antioch XLII
>Out on to the field, purging the splintered groups of Necrons and feral Orknids
>Gets Voxcast from Newly appointed Canoness to assist in the effort, Canoness Olivia III that the planet is now officially a shrine world
>Planet has been offically renamed as Domina Pillowus
>By the emperor, you crazy bastard Saint...
>I stand over a burning Orknid encampment, I pull out my flask and take a swig of Catachan Whiskey as I watch Celestein order a squad of Dominions to set flame to a pile of Necron Flayed Ones
>EverythingWentBetterThanExpected.Purity

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>>>60679801
>Be Necron Lord 2
>Artillery arrives
>Does fuck all to the ork bugs
>They murder each other dry
>Thank fuck they've thinned their numbers
>Thank fuck that the Flayed Ones aren't here to skin everything
>A giant ball of armor and fur the size of about half a Monolith drops in front of us
>Some of his blood got on my cape
>gross.aeonic
>The ork army is down to manageble numbers
>Scream to the Warriors and a few Immortals on the firing line
>"THEIR FEEBLE FLESH IS TORN,NOW IT IS TIME, FIRE ALL WEAPONS"
>Feelsgoodtodestroylife.nightbringer

>>60679876
> be Sister Ruliana, apprentice Magios Xenobiologicus
> notice the Saints, fucking up the biosphere of the planet
> don'tdothat.cutecritters
> especially bad as planet started emmiting toxic gases anyway
> notlikehumanscanliveonthesurfacenow.anyway
> weird stuff on the planet can't get out anyway
> try to vox the Magos
> tell him that the Saints are killing my bug-trees
> aww, that guys is so sweet
> agreed to vox the Head Magos Xenobiologist to put the biosphere of the planet under protection for researc unless is "destabilises"
> humans can still hunt them and shit, just no targeted exterminatuses
> betterthannothing.xenobiology
> go back to my lab
> playing with some imported Sea-slugs of Quirlion-94c
> I trined them to do tricks
> still need to find out why their anatomy is basically the same as an Eldar's though
> centuriesofreasearchawait.mechanicusmethods

>>60679801
>>60679922
>Be Necron Lord 1
>Suprised both sides lost
>Lose about 50 Necro bucks to a Group of Scarabs
>Necron Lord 2 Initiates Firing practice on remaining hostiles
>Start firing practice on the remaining ork bugs and plants
>Good to see Necron Lord 2 know how to give great orders to his units
>It was pretty therapeutic to shoot some ork bugs with a staff
>Some scarabs gather samples of fur from the body after firing practice
>Aparently it's incredibly soft and they reckon it would make the perfect filling for the pillows
>All we need now is something for the outer case and string to hold it all together

>>60679922
>>60680003
>Attack is going farely well
>Tacticalgenius.vox
>Time to secure perimeter
>Look through my binoculars
>Everything's calm
>Well except for the big fire and the robotic screaming
>Zoom
>A group of humans is burning some Flayed Ones alive
>Thanksfordoingourjobfuckers.exterminator
>Wait
>One of the human has wings
>Communicate this to original necron lord
>Hope i get to use my staff close and personal


>Get results from body pillow contest
>Some asshats voted for flayed ones and the rape vines
>Calm my righteous anger
>Revenge is best served cold

>>60680003
You can make string out of fur and out of string you can weve cloth.

>>60678371
Merkury here. Checkin' thread on work break.
>how do you wanna wrap it up
Probably something involving Goldteef "jettisoning" more of the space hulk in a mad attempt to kill the beakies before Warping out of the system, including the one apothecary/ultramarine bro are on (which I've decided is an ancient Dark Angels ship) and losing half his musik loot in the process.

All set to epic Queen music (obviously),

Anywho, back to work. See ya gitz in a couple hours!

> be Ecclesiarchy priest
> be told great news
> new Shrine world has been established
> there are 3 Living Saints ther
> omfge
>... oh and also some xenos...
> hope the Saints don't disappear into the warp before I get there
> that world must be a Paradise World if 3 Imperial Saints graced it
> their sole presence must have turned it into that
> my decrepid 170 year old body can barely stand the extasy of being able to withness such holyness in my existance
> secondbestthingtothe Emperor.holyness

>>60679975

>Be Canoness Olivia III, Order of the August Vigil sitting in back of Rhino
>Driver is newly promoted Sister Superior Lydia who has been on this planet in a different strikegroup from me
>Smells slightly of puke, Sister Lydia says that an Inquisitor who was in this rhino puked when he was trying to recover the artifact
>Get Voxxed by Magos Xenobiologist, get brief about how the planet is now under research protection and that we can still hunt and purge the occasional splinter group of feral orknids
>Also get briefed that the planet is both considered a Shrine World and a Death World due to the lethal nature of the local vegitation
>Okay.Bolter
>Ask Sister Lydia if she wants to get drinks after we hunt down some Feral Orkband
>She Agrees
>My Bionic eye is pleased

>>60680172
Alright
Goodspeed and see you in a couple hous, you magnizifisen git

>>60680042
>Get told that a human in the distance near a burn pile has wings
>What?
>Look through binoculars at the burn pile
>Ohthereitis.Binoculars
>He looks like he wants to test out his staff on it
>Tell him that we probably don't want to attack them with our reduced numbers
>If most of our artillery wasn't fucked, maybe but not in this situation with our numbers greatly reduced from the curse
>Ask him if he wants to take shots Flayed ones while we wait for the samples to arrive and for more poll answers come in

>>60680300
>Be Necron Lord 2
>Necron Lord 1 asks me if i'm bullshitting
>Tell him to look at the pile himself
>After a little back and forth stare he tells me that the best course of action is to stay at base and wait for ressuplies
>butthepurging.c'tan
>Grudgelingly agree
>He tells me if we wanna take potshots at the burning flayed ones
>OF COURSE
>Still send a Spyder pack to the fleshies camp,to gather intel
>Hope that the fleshies don't discover my agents

>>60680407
> be some other nummaging Orknids
> WAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!
> attack everything which moves
> attack stuff which is not Orknids a bit more
> oh, some metal crawlies
> hotpursuit.biosphere

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>>60680439
>Be Necron Lord 2
>Why must everything go wrong
>Now my Spyders are being chased by ork spiders
>There's only one option left
>Start legging it towards their location
>They're almost on the Spyders
>Scream as loud as my inner radio will let me
>"COME AND GET THIS FLASHY GIT, YOU FILTHY ORKOID SCUM"
>Ready my lightning staff
>Orknids will be a suitable replacement for a scrap with the winged human

>Be Saint Celestein
>While Saint WaifuCommander and Celestine are on the Shrine City overseering its construction, I end up being sent to work with Canoness Olivia III on cleaning up the groups of Necrons and Orks that are still running around
>Some of those xenos have human flesh all over them
>Find that Some of them even tried to construct their own body pillows out of human flesh, with crude drawings on them
>Disgusting.Heresy
>Walk around ordering them to be burnt on sight, thrown into piles, and burnt again for extra purity
>All the while, decide weather or not I should bleach my hair so that people wont stop thinking i'm Celestine
>.....
>Nah, it would ruin the fabulous volume and smoothness my hair already has
>Run a hand through my hair, let it flow around in the wind for a bit
>SmugSaint.Purity

I'll go on and finish up my characthers (Daemonnete started as me and my GF, but for this last few bits it's been just me so I'll end it)

>be Vögeln
>Become chaos spawn after the failure of operation wham bam thank you maam
>HRRGLLLET

>Be Destroyer lord
>Wake up from a nightmare about screaming flora
>Hug an especially big scarab
>Go back to sleep

>ASSESS SELF AS IMPERATOR TITAN
>MISSION SUCESFULL, ALTHOUGH HEAVY DAMAGE WAS SUSTAINED
>ÆONIC ORB IS SECURED ON GROUND BY THE MECHANICUM
>REPORT SELF FOR REPAIRS

>Be Arch Magos
>Orb is secured
>Titan is secured
>My cyberdongs can only get so erect
>Order the servitors to make a massive party to all loyal forces remaining

>Be Daemonette
>Finally noticed by some sisters and a saint
>Scream "You're not even the real Celestine!"
>Carve my summoning ritual in his mind. I won't let him forget
>Get ultra purged
>Back in warp
>Sad that won't be able to hug psyker again
>consoled by another Daemonette, she's nice
>Whenever psyker-bro dreams or suffers perils I'll be there to continue my love
>maybe even ask him out
>go back to cleaning the strap-ons

>Be Necron Lord 2
>>60680633
>Well,that was fun
>Love the weight of this staff
>And how it burns the fleshies
>toptierequipment.trayzn
>Have some scratches and a gash in my torso
>Nothing that'll stop me
>The pile is at walking distance
>Retire back to base or go to the pile
>gottagather"intel".com
>Besides,if worse comes to worst,i'll just use my staff to blind and run
>Wonder if i'm acting too reckless
>nah

> be Aun'el
> well former Aun'el now Aun'o
> shit really went south on the last mission
> literally had to use my ceremonial staff in melee combat just to survive and lost a leg and arm anyway
> some warpy-shit (Greater Good, how I hate warpy shit now) teleported us away back to the Navy before massive beam burst out of the planet leaving a very big whole in it.

> be no in T'au space

> fucking reforming shit

> reforging a trained Gua'vesa army

> keep calling me Commisar, they get flogged each time for even comparing me to na Imperial

> I swer to the Greater Good, I'm never comming near that fucking planet anymore and if someone even proses that he's getting shot trough the head

> I order the nearest T'au world to be fortified as if it was Cadia itself

> noonefuckingmovebeyondthispointinteitherdirection.lineinthesand

>>60680887
>Aun'el lives
Tough fucking Ethereal
Also >commisar
My sides man

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> be old high ranked Eccesiarch
> arrive on Shrine world
> the Saints are still there
> holyboner.ecclesiarchy
> mfw. this is the first boner I had in 120 years
> I don't even care for anything
> have myself launched at the two saints overseeing the construction of some sor of city at the Edge of the Biggest whole I have ever seen (like 1/16 of the planets surface wtf?)
> I exchange greetings
> and blessings
> suddenly shit seems off
> why are the filthy Eldar Xenos here
> why is this place a Shrine/Death World not Shrine/Pradise world
> look up into the sky
> it's a moon
> the fucking greates abomination I've ever seen
> hear screeching WAAAAAAGGHHH!!! comming from literally every side inside the city walls
> just outside the city a fried corpse of an horribly disfigured Dominatrix lies which is already being overgrown by screaming red trees
> Emperor protect
> i feel my heart giving out... and that shit is out of metal... and I have like 4 of them.
> nervously sweting
> I now understand why 3! imperial saints were nedded
> they tell me that this was a Daemon World for a bit
> they tell me the moon ued to be a Craftworld Daemon Engine
> mfw. this place has for a bit packed more firepower than the whole T'au Empire
> mfw. they tell me that an AEonic Orb is just under us and it already blew up an Eldar Craftworld with a low output attack and then created this whole.
> I just want to go back to Terra.

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>>60681086
>mfw when he'll hear a saint was born thanks to a celestine body pillow

>>60680882
>Be Necron Lord 1
>Just kinda watch Necron Lord 2 take on Some Ork bugs in melee
>He's pretty good at using a staff
>See him moving towards the burn pile
>Pretty sure he's getting too cocky at this point
>Wondering if I should let him have is fun
>It's tempting but I still don't want him to get killed
>Tail behind with a some Necron warriors and a squad of Wraiths should things turn ugly quickly
>quickly look at polls for pillow image
>Decide to give it a bit more time before ending it
>Seems that there will be no Flayed Ones on our Pillows
>Releif.Scarab

>>60681286
heheheh, I can already see his reaction

>>60681331
> hear about the origin of the Saint
> hear about how Saint Celestine is only here because a daemon dragged her here
> have the original purpouse of the holy artifact explained to me
> be told of it's Daemonic posession and am given a detailed description on how the fight between the pictures of the Saints and the Picture of the Mutant-Slanesh-T'au (tripple-heresy) plyed out
> Saint Weaboo is explaining with a childish glee in his eyes as Celestine is blushing and trying to make him minimise the dtails as much as possible
> my old hearts
> I can't
> for the love of the God Emperor
> I sit down as I cluth my chest in pain
> ... I'm going back to terra, elect your own Ecclesiarchal representative
> I throw my holy insignia at them
> hop back into the shit
> I don't care that I need to start up again from acolyte again
> fuck might do me good I need to be cleansed from the taint on my mind and psyche I just experienced

I resume my life on terra now as a lowly accolyte climbing the stairs of the church once more.

>>60681316
>Be Necron Lord 2
>Apparently Necron Lord 1 has decided to gather a small troupe to accompany him and me
>sneakynecronsbestnecrons.terrasect
>While we're walking he informs of how's the poll going
>Thankfully the Flayed Ones are losing
>Swear to the Nightbringer that there must be some of those flesh loving pariahs hiding in base
>We're now waiting around the pile waiting for the perfect moment to strike
>They won't even know what desintegrated them

>be Inquisitor of Ordo Malleus
>Hear of shitstorm a few sectors away, informed by Ordo Xenos Inquisitor
>Daemons everywhere apparently
>timetorollout.chainsword
>For some reason the Warp is fucked in the area
>Already have to purge 3 bridge crew
>Astropath won’t stop screaming
>he looks like he could turn into a daemon any second
>fuckyouchaos.aquila
>suddenly warp clears, we arrive at destination
>late to the party, my purgeboner sadly deflates
>then I see it
>what the fuck is that moon
>what the fuck happened to the planet's surface
>communication with Imperial forces tell me that the 'moon' used to a daemon craftworld engine
>the planet was a daemon world for a few hours until 3 living saints killed it
>the war started because some Guardsman with a bodypillow
>that guardsman ascended into sainthood
>his bodypillow became a holy relic that he purged the daemon world with
>notenoughalcohol.relic

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>>60681428
>this heresy is too much for an 180 year old Ecclesiarch to stomach

holyemperor.purge

>>60681428
The *fuck this shit I'm out* music is playing as the Ecclesiarch leaves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FjWe31S_0g

>>60681462
Wait untill they tell him that the Craftworld Chaos engine was partly Deamon Prince and Daemon World and was originally a T'au... diplomat.

>>60681428
>Be Saint WaifuCommander
>watching as golden statues of both saint celestine and saint celestein are erected in the city
>Holy Terra Eccllesiarch sees the holy forms of both me and Waifu Celestine
>I explain him the details of everything on the planet
>When I tell him about the part with celestine and celestein wrestling with the Slaaneshi Tau Daemon on the holy relic, I begin to tell him some of the more juicy lewd details
>Celestine slapped me on the back of my head
>"Y-you didn't see me lewd like THAT, I just merely grabbed the daemon by the hand, idiot"
>She is blushing, looking off to the side, she totally wants this bayonet
>Holy Eccllesiarch gets fed up with us, seeing that this is a Death Shrineworld, leaves for holy terra

>>60681702
> be former former former former Por'o
> now Daemonette
> hanging out with the weird one I found
> keeps dream-chatting with the psycher bae
> kinda annoying but whatever
> my plan sheming on how to become the Universes hottest Daemon Prince againt are interrupted
> hear arousedscreach somewhere from the material... it's Celestine
> she really thinks that was just a hand
> poor innocent thing
> wonder if she means the front-side or backside
> her poor mind probably does not even construe of the possibility of the backside
> I keep cracking as I imagine two virgin Imperial Saints going at it

Everything was worth it. Having the time of my life.

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>Be Necron Lord 2
>Turns out that security on the humans camp is less densely packed in a spot near to us
>Nod to Necron Lord 1 for confirmation
>Operation Necron Crash is a go
>Turns out this thing has a ranged setting
>Shoot one of the humans in power armor as i march
>Powrightinthekisser.staff
>Hope this'll get the attention of the winged human

>>60681825
ah, the minor skirmishes post battle

>>60681462
>still be Malleus Inquisitor
>talk to some locals
>Apparently the 'moon' is part Daemon engine, part Slaaneshi Tau and part Dameon Prince
>the bodypillow of Celestine is a holy relic of the highest degree, it even glows gold
>even after the fighting it is pristine
>see rising sexual tension between Celestine and ascended Guardsman
>Fuckdammit.loyalty

>>60681952
Then he leaves the system for nearest Imperial port to get drunk

>>60681825

>Be Canoness Olivia III
>Go to ork encampment to see I'm late to the party
>Inquisitor is chilling there with a flask and a Tallarn Cigar
>Fuck.Flamer
>Saint Celestein is overseeing the purging of Necron Flayed ones
>Bionic Eye detects some slight movements in the foliage
>"Wait, Wha-"
>Sees one of the dominion sisters get shot by some necron staff
>Immediately Open Fire with my inferno pistol, Hear that I hit something metallic
>Saint Celstein and the rest of the sisters notices too, engages Necrons too
>CantHaveAnEasyDay.Sororitas

>>60681825
>>60681974
>Be Necron Lord 1
>Follow Necron Lord 2 as stealthfully as a robot skeleton can
>He's prepping for a sneak attack
>He gives me a nod confirming there're enemies here
>Fires a bolt from his staff and then gets hit by a small arms melta bolt
>That's going to leave a mark
>Lead charge with wraiths and Necron forces
>Everyone is shooting at this point
>The Wraiths rush the closest ones and start going at it with their claws
>Humans and Necrons start dropping
>As I use my staff as a mace on one of the humans I look at Necron Lord 2 to make sure he's actually moving
>He's fine, His face is a bit messed up and he's getting shot a lot, but he's doing fine none the less