>>57047444

SIR! I HAVE A QUESTION! WHERE IN THE EMPEROR'S HOLY NAME ARE WE, AND WHY HAVE WE BEEN SENT TO THE FRONT UNARMED?!?

>>57047444
Caps lock is painful to read

>>57047616
CANT HEAR YOU, PRIVATE, YOU'LL NEED TO SPEAK LOUDER

>>57047690
Non possum sentire stamine consequendi me!
NON POSSUM SENTIRE STAMINE CONSEQUENDI MEEEEEEE!!!

>>57047596
I SHOULDN'T TELL YOU THIS, BUT YOU'VE BEEN SENT TO [classified], LARGELY REGARDED AS THE WORST WARZONE IN THE SUBSECTOR!

DON'T WORRY, EVENTUALLY WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH BODIES!

>>57047616
WHAT?

>>57047737
HERETIC!

YYYYEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

SLAANESH BEEEE PRAISED! SHITS GUNNA GET LOOOOUDDDERR!!!!!!!

*Heretical Guitar riff goes here*

>>57047794
SIR EVER SINCE ARRIVING HERE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO KILL PEOPLE WITH MY MIND, IS THIS NORMAL?!

>>57047444
SIR, DOES OUR ARTILLERY PLAN ON FIRING BACK? I ALSO PICKED UP THIS RATION BAR ON MY WAY IN, IS IT SAFE TO EAT? THE FOIL IS STILL ON IT

>>57047873
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE YOU'LL GET USED TO IT.

>>57047993
SEGMENTUM COMMAND TOLD US TO PRESERVE AMMO FOR THE BIG PUSH, THAT WAS PROBABLY AROUND...THREE YEARS AGO NOW?

>>57047871
OH FUCK THE HERETICS ARE HERE, GET THE MELTAS

>>57047737
RIGHT MAN REMEMBER WHAT SARGE TOLD YOU, START CUTTING YOURSELF

>>57048080
WHAT DO YOU MEAN MELTAS?! FIX BAYONETS!

>>57047871

FUCK YOU YOU POMPOUS FAGGOT, PRAISE KHORNE AND DIE!

DING DONG DING DONG

YOU HEAR THAT?! POPPA NURGLES HERE TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU!!

FIRST LINE, FIRE!
SECOND LINE F*URGGHGHGHG!*

>>57047444

AM HERE TO TELL YOU IT"S TIME TO CHARGE THOSE CHAOS FUCKS!

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>>57048553

>>57047444
Then, everyone clapped.
*sips tea*

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>>57047444
>TITS OR THE EMPEROR
SIR! WHAT ABOUT THINKING OF TITS ON THE EMPEROR?

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>>57049967
You sully your mind with such perverse images? Show me the rest of these before I splatter your brain across the trench, for research purposes of course!

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>>57050093
>10000/10, would worship with great fervor

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>>57050093
You allow your men to sully their minds and souls with such images? You HERETIC!

>>57050093
WHAT WAS THAT, SIR? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THAT NOB'S SCREAMS IN PAIN. COULD YOU REPEAT THAT AGAIN SIR!?

>>57050190
WHAT'S WITH THE NUMBERS? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

>>57050238
HERETIC WHERE?

>>57050761
HERETIC THERE!

*BLAM*

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>>57049967
APPROVED!

>>57050871
I like the idea of a God Empress but god-damn the fuck is wrong with her face.

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>>57047444
>banana

>>57052264
WHAT? COULDNT HEAR YOU OVER ALL THE SHELLS, REPEAT YOURSELF.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

WHAT?! I CANT HEAR YOU SPEAK UP

>>57054481
ahem...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAkhorneAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

>>57054518
WHAT?

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>>57047444
THE HERETICS WILL MARINATE IN HERESY AND BURN IN THE FIRES OF DAMNATION!!!
MARCH FORWARD AND SING HIS PRAISES!!!!!
THE EMPEROR LOVES ME THIS I KNOW!!!
FOR THE IMPERIUM TELLS ME SO!!!

>>57054541
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

>>57054787
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAexpecting a WAAAGH!? TOO BAD! WALUIGI TIME! OH YEAH!

OI! WHY WEZ JUS' SITTIN' 'ERE? LETZ GO KRUMP DEM SPIKY 'UMIES!

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>>57054541
ITS VERY QUIET TODAY.

>>57054845
You're a monster

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ATTACK MY PACT-BROTHERS! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! LET THIS WORLD BURN!

>>57059531
I'M HAVING A BREW? DO YOU WANT ONE?

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>>57055761
YES

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>>57047444
SIR, MY STANDARD ISSUE SPOON HAS A TONGUE GROWING OUT OF IT AND MY BRAIN ITCHES, SIR!

>>57062685
INCINERATE THAT TAINTED METAL!!!
READ THE PRAYER OF THE EMPEROR 100 TIMES TONIGHT AND IF THAT DOES NOT STOP THE ITCHING REPORT TO ME TOMORROW MORNING!

HOLD THE LINE GUARDSMEN!!! STAND TALL FOR THE EMPEROR!!!!

>>57047444
SIR MY ARM HAS GROWN ITS OWN FACE, I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

>>57062685
I FEEL YOU MAN, MY GUN SPROUTED A MOUTH AND A PENIS LAST NIGHT, IT KEEPS TELLING ME TO PLEASURE IT.

IF YOU ASK ME THERE IS SOMEONE FROM THE SUPPLY CORP FUCKING US OVER

>>57063131
*Puts bolt pistol to your head and squeezes the trigger

>>57063133
THAT'S ODD, MY GUN'S MAGWELL TURNED INTO A VAGINA AND STARTED WHISPERING SINS TO ME AT NIGHT. I HAVEN'T RELOADED MY GUN IN THREE WEEKS.

>>57063207
>>57063133
HAVE YOU TRIED STICKING THE TWO TOGETHER? SOUNDS LIKE YOU OUGHTA TWIN-LINK THAT SHIT.

>>57047444
SIR, MY STANDARD ISSUE LASGUN JUST SHOT LIGHTNING AT A BUNCH OF HERETICS! IS THIS NORMAL?

>>57064498
I DON'T KNOW. YOU'LL GET USED TO IT.

IS THAT A SPACE MARINE AT THE ENEMY TRENCH?

HE WAVING AT ME! NOW HE'S SLIDING A FINGER OVER HIS THROAT SLOWLY?

DO I WAVE BACK?

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WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY REINFORCEMENTS! THESE FUCKING HERETICS ARE GONNA OVERRUN US OVER HERE!

IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY BANEBLADES!

>>57047444
SIR, WHY IS DAVE OVER THERE GROWING HORNS AND SPIKES?

>>57066178
MUNITORUM LOST 'EM
WE HAVE PLENTY OF (lightly worn) T-SHIRTS THOUGH

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AUGH! A BUNCHA SCARED HUMIES WE 'AVE 'ERE?! AHAHAHAHA! NOW DIS IS A GOOD FIGHT FOR A ROIGHT AND PROPAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

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>>57066158
CAVALRY REPORTING IN!

>>57066158
MUNITORUM CAN'T FIND ANY, BUT THEY SENT ME WITH 400 KEGS OF RECAFE AS REPLACEMENT.

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.......

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[intimates his understanding by punching something]

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BE STRONG IN YOUR HATE SOLDIERS!
FAITH WILL GUIDE YOU! THE EMPEROR PROTECTS! AND YOU WILL MEET HIM TODAY BE IT BY DIEING OR REACHING THE HEAVEN ITSELF BY BUILDING A PILE OF CORPSES HIGH ENOUGH TO REACH IT!

>>57047444
SIR I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT HERE BUT IM GONNA GO BACK TO MY HOME PLANE NOW. HAVE FUN WITH WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING. PLANE SHIFT BIYATCH.

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>>57066158
>>57068029
Hey, boss, this might be a good moment to bring up that I can arrange a trade - five kegs to any artillery regiment to send next training barrage on the coordinates we call, another 20 to accidentally swap in the live ammo.
And a hundred to platoon command to call artillery drill right fucking now.
So how do we play this, boss? All in? Just give me the coordinates.

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>57047444
SIR WHY ISN'T THIS THREAD ON /QST/.

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SIR THE ASTARTES ARE ACTING STRANGE

>>57069600
THIS IS NO QUEST PRIVATE, NOW FALL IN LINE AND SHAVE YOUR LASGUN, ITS WAY TOO HAIRY.

>>57069570
WHAT'S THAT? YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK LOUDER!

AND WHO STOLE MY HELMET?

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>>57047444
SIR!

IS IT TRUE THAT WHEN WE GARRISON THE PLANET THE MUNITORIUM WILL DEPLOY FEMALE REGIMENTS TO THE PLANET AND A BREEDING PROGRAM STARTS?

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>>57072698
YOU POOR GREEWBIE, THATS JUST RECRUITMENT PROPAGANDA.

SIR! THAT LAST ARTILLERY EXCHANGE COST ME MY ARM!
WILL I GET USED TO IT?

WAIT, WAIT A SEC, A TENTACLE IS GROWING OUT OF THE WOUND... WILL I GET USED TO THAT?

WHERE'S OUR ARTILLERY

>>57047444
>THE EMPEROR

This is all you need, those that are faithful will survive and prosper on this battlefield. Your enemies' missiles deflected, their demons banished. All will be well in the light of our glorious emperor. Now, CHARGE YOU SCUM AND GET YOUR WEAPON FROM THE BLOOD POOL. Less I judge you a traitor here and now!

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>>57047444
FHOR DE EMPRAA!

>>57076051
WHO ARE YOU CALLING SCUM, HERETIC?

>>57075990

YOU GET USED TO IT TROOPER

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Heard you Cadian boys were havin trouble taming this "death world" I dont get what you pansies are talking about this place is a damn near paradise!

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OH LOOK XENOS ON THE HORIZON!

>>57078785

For a hot second, I thought that was a Necron in a Death Korp.'s cap.

Which I want now.

SIR, WHY IS OUR STATIONED PSYKER STEVE GROWING WINGS AND IS TURNING RED? DO PSYKERS DO THAT?

>>57079911

DEATHWORLD 17 ENGAGEMENT PROTOCOL SECTION 9 PARAGRAPH 4
YOU GET USED TO IT.

PARAGRAPH 5, IF YOU FIND SOMETHING IS BEYOND YOUR MORTAL COMPREHENSION SEE PARAGRAPH 4

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>>57066158
PRETORIAN GUARDS XVI RIFLE REGIMENT READY OLD CHAP!

Sir, Jenkins was killed by a Xeno with some kind of knife launching Crossbow, also several of the men have been talking about Crotch Rot.

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>>57052264
That's what happens when you go full smug. Never go full smug son.

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WHO IS MAKING ALL OF THIS NOISE UP HERE!? SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP DOWN HERE!!

>>57081141
WHAT? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM TECH-PRIEST? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE BLAMMING OF THE COMMISSARS!

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>>57081328
YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP THE C'TAN SHARD WE HAVE DOWN HERE! AND IT GETS REALLY CRANKY WHEN IT WAKES UP WITHOUT A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP AND THE SOULS OF TEN MILLION MORTALS!

>>57081357
IT'LL GET USED TO IT

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>>57081375
I'M GONNA FILE A NOISE COMPLAINT TO YOUR PARENTS, YOU YOUNGSTERS! I SWEAR, THIS SECTOR HAS BECOME FULL OF NOISY BRATS, EVEN THE KRORKS WERE QUIETER!

>>57047444
Bonjour

>>57081974
GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, THE ELYSIAN DROP TROOPS HAVE ARRIVED, WITH THEIR HELP WE WILL ADVANCE! OR WE WILL SURRENDER.

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I WILL SHATTER THEIR SOULS

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>>57083005
COME AT ME! PSYKER DUEL! PUSH! PUSH IT!

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>>57083067
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

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>>57083078
f..uck

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WHERE'S OUR FIRE SUPPORT?

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>>57083282
THE BARRAGE IS READY! WE WILL PURGE THOSE MUTANTS WHO DWELL AT THIS BLOOD POOL!

>>57047444
SIR! WHEN DO WE CHARGE INTO THE ENEMIE LINE!?

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>>57083328
BY THE EMPRAH HOW DO YOU GET THE MUNITORIUM TO ACTUALLY GIVE YOU ANY AMMO?

>>57083476
BY BEING A FAITHFULL SERVANT OF THE EMPEROR! It also helps that I am the son of a Lord General

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>>57047444
IS THIS ENDOR? I THINK I'M IN THE WRONG PLACE

>>57083547
YOU JUMPED AT THE WRONG PLACE MATE!

>>57083547
DO YOU SERVE THE EMPEROR? DO YOU KILL EVERY TRAITOR YOU SEE? DO YOU HATE CHAOS REBEL SCUM? IF SO, YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE!

>>57083582

KILLING REBEL SCUM? SAY NO MORE.

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>>57083582
HALF OF THAT SOUNDS RIGHT!

WHAT AM I SHOOTING AT?

>>57083614
ORKS! THERE BIG, GREEN, AND UGLY!

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fucking Mon-keigh

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>>57083614
STOP SHOOTING AND FIX BAYONETS. CHARGE! FOR THE EMPEROR'S GLORY!

>>57083614
EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT HUMAN! AND EVERY HUMAN THAT HAS BETRAYED THE EMPEROR!

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DRIVE ME CLOSER
I WANT TO HIT THEM WITH MY SWORD!

>>57066428
OI! QUIET DOWN YOU LOUD GOB! WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION HERE. WAIT YOUR TURN.

NOW, I'M GOING TO THE MESS, WHO WANTS ME TO BRING BACK RECAF AGAIN? I KNOW THE COMMISSAR TAKES HIS WITH THREE SWEETENERS, SARGE, YOU TAKE YOUR WITH MILK?

>>57083662
WAIT WHY ARE WE ABANDONING A TACTICALLY SOUND POSITION?

I MEAN I KNOW WE'RE DISPOSABLE BUT SERIO- HOLY SHIT THAT GUY TURNED INTO A LITTLE RED CRITTER

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>>57083730
A SWORD? MY RIGHTOUS FIST SHALL DESTROY THIS XENO! REMOVE XENO!

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>>57083762
XENO YOUR MINE

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GLORY TO THE FIRST MAN THAT DIES.

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FASTER! HARDER! MEANER! BETTER!

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>>57050238
you detestable mutants fill your head with such vile obsenity, DIE heretic!

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>>57084062
HOLD ON YOUR A HERETICS!

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>>57047444
OI! KOMMANDA SNIKGRUB REPORTIN' IN!

KOMMAND SENT ME AN' DA BOYZ DOWN TO 'ELP KILL DEM CULTIST GITS GOOD UN PROPPA!!

>>57082385
euh ... quoi? où suis-je et de quelle façon est-ce à Berlin? Je suis supposé être dans la résistance nazie.

>>57085627
...eh.WHAT? I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR GOTHIC! BRING ME A BATTLE SAVANT!

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WHAT'S THAT? ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT??

WE HAVE TROOPS DOWN THERE, BUT OK LOL

>>57047444
>TITS OR THE EMPEROR
Why not both?

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>>57052552
>banana

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SIR, THIS DATA TERMINAL IS ACTING STRANGE

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SIR FUCK YOU SIR

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DA EMPERAH'S GREENEST, REPORTIN' FER DUUDEE! 'ERE WE'Z REDDY FER KRUMPIN 'DEM SPIKEY GITS.

>>57087677
ORDINARILY I'D ASK QUESTIONS, BUT AT THIS POINT I'D RATHER NOT KNOW.

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>>57050093

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>>57084156
You know they're just running around shooting each other down there... better just lay the exterminautus upon these heretics. ALL RIGHT FIRE

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>>57087492
HERETIC

ALL I WANT FOR EMPSMAS IS AN ELDAR GF, SIR!

FYI this thread is going to get moved to /qst/ as soon as our beloved mod sees it.

>>57090479
Nigga, it's been here for three days. It stays.

BRINGING IN A QUALITY BUMP, SIR!

>>57063315
SIR THATS A GOOD IDEA.
MAYBE WE COULD CREATE EXTRA WEAPONS

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ONWARD SONS OF THE IMPERIUM! SHOW NO MERCY! CHARGEEEEE!

>>57093440
FOR THE EMPEROR's tits AND VICTORY

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CARLOS MCCONNELLIAN 1ST CLAW COMPANY REPORTING IN, SIR!

>>57083067
>ywn have a fannypack head
seriously though what is that? Is it another mind that is kept alive by the tu bes that the psyker can draw more power from or what?

>>57094790
THIS WAS MY BROTHER! HE DIED AS THOUSAND OTHER BUT I SURVIVED THE MADNESS! I KEEP HIM AS MY PSY-FOCUS!

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BEASTMAN HERE FIGHT SIR

>>57050190
Wait don't give GW ideas or they will have the emperor die and be reborn as a woman and then she could officially make female primarchs and space marines.

>>57047444
>TITS OR EMPRAH
WHAT IF I LIKE THIGHS AND FEET?
WILL THINKING ABOUT THAT NOT BE SUFFICIENT AS WARD?

>>57093440

SIR, SIR I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS, BY THE EMPEROR THEIR GONE!

i once read a novel, i forgot its name, where a commissar pissed himself because he had to command a squad of kriegers

that made me lose all respect for commissars

>>57095492
You've clearly not heard of the HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, CIAPHAS CAIN.
Not all commissars are balls to the walls fanatics, and rarely on the same level as Kriegers.

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>>57093440
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH

>>57095451
HANG IN THERE PRIVATE! YOU WILL GET NEW ONES TO KICK THE ENEMIES OF MAN HARDER! MEDIC! MEDIC!

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COLONEL SCHAEFFER, THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOU AND YOUR MEN TO EARN THE EMPEROR'S EVERLASTING FORGIVENESS! YOUR REDEMPTION STARTS NOW! DO YOU SEE THAT MILE LONG GAP IN OUR LINES WITH ORKS POURING THROUGH? COUNTER ATTACK NOW!

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>>57095346
>Wait don't give GW ideas or they will have the emperor die and be reborn as a woman and then she could officially make female primarchs and space marines.
HEY WHAT A GREAT IDEA! THANKS! We I mean they were going to use the Guilliman/Yvraine thing as the reason but this is even better!

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SKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

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BURN THEM ALL!

>>57063163
>Not giving the new face a lasgun.
OUR MEN WILL BE ARMED WITH ARMED ARMS.

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>>57098142
I'M GONNA EAT YOU!

>>57047444
>IF ALL YOU CAN HEAR IS RINGING, DON'T PANIC, YOU GET USED TO IT!
SIR IF ALL I CAN HEAR IS RINGING HOW WILL I KNOW WHEN THE ORDER TO CHARGE HAS COME, SIR?!

>>57099761
IF YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS CHARGING, YOU'RE NOT DOIN' IT RIGHT!

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*Charging whine*
*Galvanic rifle crackle*

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>>57101577
I GOT IT BOYZ!

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>>57101636
*FREEM*

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>>57101832
FUCK! LEG IT BOYZ!

<Binharic> Another glorious Omnissian victory, prepare the flesh-crawlers for loading <\Binharic>

Fleshbags! Pile your casualties up, we need more cannon fodder and I for one don't want to be standing here and fighting Gargants with light sniper walkers in an hour. Leave that to the sodding Titans.

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ARTY ON THE WAY BOYS, WE'RE SLINGING PHOSPHEX

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beep boop

Oh here comes the enemy counterbarEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Calm yourself guardsmen, the Astartes have arrived.

>>57102486
REEEEEE ITS UNDER CONTROL

SPESS MAREENS GET OUT

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Pack it in kids, Inquisition's here

Hello yes, where are the Armageddon Steel Legions?

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>>57102834
ill take it from here rookie

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>>57103761
Hey shorty, good to see some of your kind still alive.

>>57102464
DON'T ACT LIKE I DIDN'T HEAR THAT, ADMECH. YOU'RE LUCKY COMMAND IS VERY TOLERABLE.

SIR, I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT THAT WILLIAM'S DICK FELL OFF AND CRAWLED AWAY, WHAT SHOULD WE DO SIR?

SAVING BUMP IN ACTION, SIR!

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>>57104423
SIR, IS IT JUST ME, OR DOES THAT ADMECH HAS A FUNNY ACCENT, BEEP BEEP?

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>>57050190
>>57049967
THATS JUST ANOTHER ASPECT OF THE HOLY EMPEROR, COMISSAR! NO HERESY HERE!

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SIR, THE ASTROPATHS ARE DETECTING A WARPRIFT OPENING ABOVE THE BATTLEFIELD!

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>>57107977
SOMETHING IS COMING FROM THE OTHER SIDE! BE READY MEN!

>>57107977
TELL THE FUCKERS WE CAN SEE HUGE RED CLOUDS WITH LIGHNING AND DEMONS OURSELFS.

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>>57107979
BY THE EMPEROR, WHAT IS THAT!? THEY LOOK LIKE GIANT HORNETS! GIANT HORNETS FROM THE WARP!!!

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>>57107988
ALL LIVING BEINGS FROM THIS REALM WILL SERVE AS FOOD FOR OUR BROOD! WE ARE DOMINION, WE ARE THE SWARM.

>>57107996
LOOK MEN! THEY PROBABLY HAVE SOME HONEY STASHED SOMEWHERE! PUSH TO THE RIFT BOYS! WE GONNA EAT TODAY!

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>>57107996
THIS ROCK FLOATING IN SPACE WILL BECOME OUR NEST, FROM WHICH WE'LL LAUNCH OUR CONQUEST OF THIS PITIFUL REALM, AS WE DID MILLENIA AGO, AND AS WE WILL DO AGAIN AND AGAIN, FOR ALL ETERNITY.

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>>57108007
WE DON'T HAVE HONEY, WE ARE NOT BEES! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

>>57108019
ORNITOLOGY IS NOT THE THING YOU LEARN IN GUARD TRAINING CAMPS! CHAAAAARGE!

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>>57108026
SWARM THE MAMMALS! LET THEM KNOW THE PSALM OF STINGS!

>>57108044
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44H37IT1EWA
SHOOT MEN! THIS IS VERY EFFECTIVE!

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>>57108053
SHOOT THEM BACK! PICK UP THE MACHINE GUNS THATSHOOT SMALLER HORNETS! FOR THE GLORY OF THE SWARM!

>>57108094
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? I'M COVERED IN BEES! HEEEEEEEELP!

>>57108139
DOES YOU FAITH IN EMPEROR VANISHED?

>>57108173
FORGET FAITH, MY SKIN HAS VANISHED!

>>57108191
YOU DONT NEED SKIN! EMPEROR PROTECTS!

>>57108217
MY INTERNAL ORGANS SEEM TO DISAGREE, SIR!

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>>57108139
>>57108173
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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TURN THEIR FLESH INTO SPACE AND FOOD FOR OUR BROOD!

>>57108315
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHJAKLSKHLUK

The Emperor Protect, the Guardsmen are still fighting. Huh.

Well. Good for them. Captain, begin Exterimatus when ready.

>>57047993
DONT EAT ANY UNISSUED FOOD NO MATTER HOW HUNGRY YOU ARE. THERE HAVE BEEN NUMEROUS UNSAVOURY INCIDENTS!

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>>57108537
Sir, I'm afraid we can't enact the exterminatus order. Thee's a hornet on the exterminatus button and it has already stung three of our crewmen.

>>57109167
BY THE EMPEROR IT HAS COME TO THIS!
SET COLLISION COURSE WITH THE PLANET!

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>>57111315
Sir, the techpriests have discovered high densities of hornet nests clogging the inner parts of the engines, and they're attacking the crew! We can't go full drive!

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OP here. I legitimately thought this thread would get five replies and get me banned. Nice to see it flower into a big blossom of autism.
You done me proud, my sons.

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>>57115595
LESS TALKING AND MORE BURNING, SOLDIER! THERE ARE STILL TOO MANY BUGS IN THE AIR!

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BLOOD RAVENS, IT IS TIME TO PILFER ASSIST OUR ALLIES, KILL THESE WINGED CREATURES AND SEND THEM BACK TO THE WARP.

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GREETINGS GUARDSMEN WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

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DID SOMEONE SAY NOT ENOUGH FIRE?!?!?!

>>57095451

WHAT HAVE WE FUCKING TOLD YOU SOLDIER?
YOU'LL GET USED TO IT!

>>57096927

SKRŔRRRRRRREEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAH!

TRANSLATION: YOU'LL GET USED TO IT!

>>57101832

1101010100010100011110001010001110011101100011010001

TRANSLATION: YOU GET USED TO IT!

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AFFIX BAYONETS LADS! FIRST ONE TO DIE IS AN ELDAR! URAAAAAA!

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BY KHAINE'S FLAMING BALLSACK WHAT IN THE WARP HAS HAPPENED TO OUR ONCE PROUD MAIDEN WORLD? CHAOS? GIANT SPACE HORNETS? MON-KEIGH? NECRONS? ORKS? HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THIS WORLD WITH YOUR PRESCENCE! YOU SHALL ALL BE DESTROYED BY OUR SUPERIOR MIGHT!

>>57121438
-Did you ear anything Dave?
+Must have been the wind

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>>57122148
I tell you, working on the basilisk battery sure messes up the hearing

https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Regulations_of_the_Imperial_Guard

HERE ARE DA ROOLZ MEN, LEARN 'EM OFF BY HEAR-
SWEET MERCY WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE THINGS?

>>57122155
NO I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR EARRING, WHY DO YOU ASK?

>>57047444
Hey fellas i just transferred over from headqwuarters ive never seen real combat, been a desk jockey most of my military career. I can type 77 WPM and am near sighted plus you know im just here to do the very best i can do.

>>57122430
WHAT'S THAT SON? YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK LOUDER! ALSO, WHY ARE YOU UNARMED? GO GET THE LASGUN OF STEVE OVER THERE, LAYING DEAD ON THE GROUND. HE WON'T NEED IT ANYWAY.

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DON‘T WORRY FELLOW HUMANS. A JACK OF ALL TRADES ULTRAMARINES ARMY JUST ARRIVED TO SAVE MANKIND ONCE AGAIN.

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Well I suppose I could step in and help, since Roboute asked so politely. Did you know Giant Warp Hornets are excellent appetizers after being cooked in WARP FLAME?

>>57091531
We used to have Field Kit Inspections too. Guess where they've been moved to.

>>57047444
>JUST TRY TO BLOCK IT OUT BY THINKING ABOUT TITS OR THE EMPEROR.
why not both?

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>>57047444
>TITS OR THE EMPEROR
>or
I think you mean "and"

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>>57095346
>the emperor die and be reborn as a woman and then she could officially make female primarchs and space marines.
I would not be saddened by this development

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>>57047444
Hyeeelo fallow ghaardsmeen!

I am heer to faght for thee shtupeed eeempeeerar jhast like hyu all!

zho wheere do yhu keep all thee blowing up staaf?

>>57123635
I CAN'T HEAR A WORD YOU'RE SAYING, AND EVEN I FIND YOUR VOICE ANNOYING.
JUST SHUT UP AND GET BACK TO THE FRONT.

>>57122367
NOT PEARING, HEARING!

>>57123681
Hokay!
(scampers off to the supply depot)

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Our sisters are facing severe resistance! SEND THE TITAN HORNETS!

>>57123727
YES, THE HORNET STINGS ARE SEARING, BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA GET YOU THE REST OF THE DAY OFF PRIVATE.

>>57123808
DON'T SHOOT THEM BOYS, I HEARD A RUMOUR THESE BURST OPEN AND REVEAL MANY SMALLER HORNETS WHEN YA KILL EM.

>>57123843
IM NOT GETTING OFF SARGENT! IM JUST SAYING THAT THIS BUGS ARE ANNOYING!

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>>57123843
>>57123867
>>57124305
Yess, the mammals are providing great sustenance for the hive! Soon this city will be fully adapted for our brood!

I say good chaps could you keep it down a tad. I need to get some shut-eye before I have to get back to trench duty.

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>>57124510
YOU'LL SLEEP WHEN YOU'RE DEAD, SOLDIER! NOW TAKE YOUR WEAPON AND FIRE THE ENEMY!

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>>57124341
MAY THE EMPEROR HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOULS

>>57124617
Do you mean fire on the enemy sir? I dont think our lasguns have the right caliber otheriwse!

>tfw hornet fags ruin your quality shitposting thread
GET OUT

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>>57125188
BY THE ALLFATHER, THE MEAD DEPOT HAS BEEN OVERRUN BY HERETIC HORNETS

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>>57125188
I KNOW WHAT I'VE SAID, SOLDIER! NOW START BURNING XENOS, HORNETS AND HERETICS!

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>>57125453
Your tears are as delicious as the nectar we steal from bees, but much, much saltier.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>57125836
We hornets are ready to fight our foes in every condition imaginable! The cold winter of Fenris is nothing but a breeze thanks to our knitting technology!

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>>57123145
Nice try, Aeldari. But if your pitiful shard of a god couldn't defeat us, what makes you think warp flames could harm us?

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Fear the power of the warp. HERE ARE THE KHORNET!

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AT LAST WE STAND VICTORIOUS! THE GAS HAS KILLED THEM ALL!

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>>57126366
Some heretical hornets serve other powers instead of the Swarm!? Fight them to death, eat all of their brood!

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>>57126413
The death of an individual is meaningless to a being such as us!

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>>57126501
SIR, I GOT THE LAST SURVIVOR, SIR! SHALL I CRUSH IT OR SHALL WE GIVE IT TO THE INQUISITION?

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>>57126564
SIR; LOOK OUT! IT'S A TRAP!

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>>57126622
For the Swarm!

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>>57126668
BOOOOOMMMM

[Contact with the inquisitorial vessel Fire of Judgement lost]

>>57126501
Did she die?

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHERE IS OUR COVER FIRE?
OUR TANKS ARE JAMMING WITH DEAD HORNETS

SIR
I'D LIKE TO BE RELIVED
I'VE BEEN STANDING GUARD FOR FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT
I HAVEN'T GOTTEN USED TO IT

>>57131059
NO YOU MAY NOT
UNTIL YOU GET USED TO IT YOU BETTER GET USED TO NOT BEING USED TO IT
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR SOLDIER?

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>>57130848
But why do you need fire cover if the hornets are already dead?

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>>57131059
BUT SIR, I'M COVERED IN HORNETS! IF I MAKE ANY BRASH MOVEMENTS I'LL BE STUNG TO DEATH, SIR!

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SIR I THINK I CAUGHT A COLD WHEN FIGHTING THOSE PUTRID HERETICS, DO YOU HAVE ANY KLEEN-EX RATIONS?

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>>57047444
I THIRST FOR THE BLOOD OF THE EMPEROR'S ENEMIES! WHEN DO WE CHARGE THE FRONT LINES!

>>57131842
THE FUCK IS KLEEN-EX??? I THINK THE COMMISSAR WAS LOOKING FOR YOU HURRY UP AND FIND HIM IN THE TOC

WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT ANAL SEEPAGE?!

>>57094790
Looks like Elon Musk

>>57123635
WHAT IS THAT, I CAN'T HEAR YOU CLEARLY. YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP SOLDIER!
ALSO, WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING REGULATION FLAK ARMOR?

>>57132233
KEEP CLENCHING IT'LL ALL BE OVER SOON

>>57132353
SIR, IT JUST WON'T STOP! I'D GUESS THAT I'VE LOST 30% OF MY BODY MASS FROM SEEPAGE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES!

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IT IS I, THE EMPEROR. I AM ENDING THIS AUTISM

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>>57126200
i think you mean AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>57109167
*BLAM*

There. No more hornet.

>>57126298
>Aeldari
ffs kid

>>57132660
Oh, Great Emperor! You came back in mortal form! What shall we do with all of these hornets?

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>>57131367
QUIT COMPLAINING PRIVATE! DID YOU THINK I CRIED WHEN I LOST MY ARM?! NO! I BIT BACK! NOW, STEEL YOURSELF AND SHOW DOES PESKY BUGS WHO'S BOSS!

>>57135986
LADS, THE CATACHAN 2ND HAS ARRIVED WE'RE NOT DEAD YET.

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>>57136017
*Ribbit*

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SIR
ME AND THE OTHER GUYS HAVE BEEN TALKING AND
WHILE WE ALL APPRECIATE THE HELP SLY MARBO'S GIVEN US
HE WON'T STOP SCREAMING
EVEN WHEN HE'S ASLEEP HE KEEPS SCREAMING
NONE OF US HAVE SLEPT FOR TWO FULL WEEKS
IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE CHAOS TAINT IN THIS SECTOR AND THE DRUGS, WE'D ALL BE DEAD
CAN WE PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

>>57131196
JUST HAPPENS THAT NONE OF THOSE HERETICS LEFT WHEN THE HORNETS CAME, IT SEEMS THEYRE USED TO IT

SIR! I REPORT THAT I AM OUT OF CHARGE PACKS FOR MY LASGUN, MY BAYONET SNAPPED INSIDE A HERETIC LAST WEEK, MY SHOVEL CAUGHT FIRE, AND MY MESS KIT STARTED SINGING HYMNS IN PRAISE OF THE EMPEROR. WHAT THE FUCK? OVER.

>>57137505
ALL PERFECTLY NORMAL SOLDIER
JUST DIG THE BAYONET OUT OF THE HERETIC AND USE YOUR RIFLE AS A CLUB
IT WORKS JUST FINE FOR THE OGRYNS
YOU'LL GET USED TO IT

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Howdy, Imperial servants! Check it out, I'm made out of gold!
t. Emperor of Mankind

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>>57137553
Hmm... Yes, I see. Would be a shame if something would happen to you.

>>57137553
HELP ME EMPEROR
MY SKIN IS BEING BURNT AND FROZEN SIMULTANEOUSLY
THE HORNETS ARE EATING MY INSIDES BUT THE CHAOS TAINT MAKES THEM GROW BACK
AND THEN THE HORNETS EAT THEM AGAIN

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>>57137360
LOOK, THERE IS ONE OF THOSE HORNET WORSHIPERS! HE'S TRYING TO INVOKE A WARPRIFT TO BRING MORE HORNETS HERE!!

>>57137643
TELL THEM TO BUZZ OFF THEN

SIR I THINK I HAVE A WASP INSIDE WHAT CAN I DO?
CAN I GET USE TO IT?

>>57138542
GO SEE THE COMMISSAR
MAYBE WE CAN WEAPONIZE THE WASP SOMEHOW

SIR I GOT SHOT
CAN I GET SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION?

>>57138625
HAVE YOU BEEN RELIVED BY ANOTHER SOLDIER YET?

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SLAMBO HAS ARRIVED

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>>57049967
What weak frame is that?!

>>57138638
NO SIR
I HAVE NOT RECEIVED ANY SUPPORT IN ANY WAY
I ASKED JOHNSON IF HE WOULD TAKE MY POST WHILE I SEEKED MEDICAL ATTENTION
HE FLIPPED ME OFF AND CALLED ME A PANSY ELDAR

>>57138663
>NO SIR
THEN YOU WILL WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE
BACK TO YOUR POST SOLDIER

>>57138638
COLONEL! ONLY IN DEATH CAN YOU AND YOUR MEAN BE RELIEVED, REPORT TO TRENCH 33 BEFORE I LOSE MY TEMPER

>>57138675
VERY WELL SIR
I APOLOGIZE FOR WASTING YOUR TIME SIR

>>57138682
TRENCH 33 GOT BLOWN UP SIR
IT'S JUST CRATER 78 NOW

>>57138713
WELL GET INTO THAT CRATER COLONEL, I DIDNT ASK YOU A QUESTION.

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>>57138734
S-SIR YES SIR

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REST EASY BRAVE IMPERIAL GUARD, THE SALAMANDERS ARE HERE. NOW, WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?

>>57138764
IF YOU MEAN THE CAUCASIAN FEMALE SLAANESHIES,THEY'RE OVER THERE
IF YOU MEAN OUR WHITE WOMEN,THEN I'M GONNA HAVE TO REPORT YOU FOR HERESY

>>57138764
WE'VE BEEN HERE A LONG TIME SIR
IT'S BEEN PRETTY ROUGH
AND QUITE FRANKLY, WE CAN'T DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE MEN AND WOMEN ANYMORE

>>57138586
SIR I THINK THE WASP IS MY BRAIN AND IT IS TELLING THINGS ABOUT A HOW I CAN KILL MY COMMISARS AND MY SUPERIORS EASILY TO BE FREE WITH THE THEM.
I WILL GET USED TO IT?

>>57138858
SOUNDS LIKE HERESY SON
I'D BLAM YOU, BUT MY GUN IS OUT OF AMMO
SO STAND STILL WHILE I HIT YOU IN THE HEAD WITH THE BUTT

>>57138858
I CAN ONLY GIVE YOU ADVICE,COMRADE,BUT IT IS CLEARLY SOMETHING HORRIBLE
WE MAY HAVE TO CUT OPEN YOUR SKULL TO EXAMINE IT

SIR
I SAY WE CUT OPEN HIS SKULL TO EXAMINE THE WASP

>>57138831
THERE IS A GUY IN OUR REGIMENT THAT HAS MOUTH INSTEAD OF A PENIS WE STARTED TO THINK OF HIM AS A GIRL BUT NOW THAT HE HAS TENTACLES IN THE MOUTH WE ARE TOTALLY LOST

>>57138893
IS THAT HOW GIRLS WORK?
I'VE FORGOTTEN

>>57138878
FOR THE EMPEROR THE WASP WAS DOING A NEST INSIDE ME
*thousands of wasps start to go the exterior from his mouth and ears*

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BEEP BOOP WASPS SHANT PIERCE OUR METAL SKIN

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CHARGE!SHOW THIS XENOS SCUM WHAT FURY TRULY IS!

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YEEE

>>57139064
IT'S A RAK'GOL
KILL IT

>>57139064
IS THAT A FIRST EDITION TYRANID?

>>57139117
YEE

>>57138923
KILL HIM
FOR THE EMPEROR!

>>57139188
NO! NOT FOR THE EMPEROR!

>>57139269
YES
FOR THE EMPEROR
I SHALL BURN YOU LIKE THE HERETIC YOU ARE

>>57139316
ARGH!
...Five the Emperor because five is bigger than four.

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WOT IN DA GROT IS GOIN' ON HERE??

>>57047444
Will there be happy meals?

>>57140048
THAT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU CLASSIFY AS A "MEAL"

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>>57136884
QUICK LADZ! *CAREFULLY* GRAB DA SNOOT AN' DEN TOSS 'EM AT DA HERETIC-GITS! OR AR ALL YA HUMIES SCARED O' WUN LIL MERRY SUICIDE BOMMA?

>>57140193
YOU FUCKING KNOW IT,YOU FILTHY GREENSKIN
BUT IF IT KILLS HERETICS
THEN I SHALL OVERCOME MY FEARS OF DYING
FOR THE EMPEROR!

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>>57140193
*RIBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII*

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>>57141464
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

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>>57141504
Yessss, the toad's gasses are spreading through the battlefieñd! Fortunately for us, our hornet technology will allow us to survive the chemical death cloud!