>>56984041
she's actually a boy just kidding she's a trap

>>56984041
>Giving fuck about NPCs
>Giving fuck about their backstories
>Giving fuck about insignificant room dressing that players will forget even exists within next 30 seconds

She's actually a spy/honeypot for Drow enclave. She uses a magic necklace of alter self to disguise her true nature.

>>56984080
>being this bad at role-playing games

>>56984041
She's there to subtly spy on the adventurers. If she manages to find a party going to travel to the Underdark, she's to pull a classic "a-barwench-and-an-adventurer" gambit to stop or stall them.

>>56984088
>Being this bad at GMing
Unless she plays any sort of role in the story, it's meaningless. And if she plays one, then it's tailored for the story. It's that fucking simple

>>56984113
Are you saying that NPCs involved in the story should spontaneously take story-affecting action without any backstory justification whatsoever?

Also, are you saying your PCs NEVER take interest in the backstory of an NPC?

I mean, I literally cannot imagine what your games are like:
>"When you do that, the innkeeper attacks you."
>"Why?"
>"It doesn't matter, he's an NPC and his motivations and backstory are unimportant. Deal with it."

>>56984041
Got sick of Feminazi Norh Korea. Moved away. Got a job working in this shit hole. That was ten yeas ago. One day she hopes to save up enough for a house of her own.

>>56984073
This, but she didn't realize that gender roles in the surface world are reversed.
She doesn't want to be caught in a lie as the locals will likely assume she's a spy from the Underdark and strap her in irons for the rest of her days, so she continues the facade.

She honestly just wants a quiet life.

>>56984041
Left the Underdark because she just never had the stomach for her role in society there. Came to the surface and found a job here, it keeps her fed and a place to sleep. One day she hopes to open an establishment of her own, maybe even go so far as to set up a way for others to escape from Loth's clutches.

You need to decide three things IMO:

1) Benign or malicious?
2) The cover story.
3) The actual story.

No-one is going to buy that a Drow just came up from the Underdark to work in a pub. Even if that's true.

>>56984041
>was involved in an attack on the overworld to take some slaves
>attack failed
>doesn't want to return empty-handed
>needs human money to survive so gets the job in the inn
>insists she's only there for however long it takes her to save up some money to hire a group of mercenaries to take some captives down to the Underdark

>>56984041
She is actually eagerly waiting for her dear betrothed, Erik Hardrada, to return from his quest so they can say their vows and runaway. Bless her heart

>>56984485
Where's Erik, though?

>>56984711
Yorkshire

File: 12088429_909589695782398_(...).jpg (49 KB, 640x640)

49 KB JPG

>>56984084
>>56984106

wew man who would suspect a fucking drow

>>56984041
Changeling sent to assassinate the party Ranger, a known elfaboo.

She wanted human cock

>>56984041
Mother was a slut that didn't knew who her father was and decided to sell her daughter as a slave to the inn's owner for a few coins.

>>56984902
Did you miss the part where I said she's using an alter self spell to disguise herself as not a drow?

Also, what's the fucking point of using drow if they aren't conniving and evil?

File: Spoiler Image (62 KB, 770x512)

62 KB JPG

>>56984711
Dreaming of returning to his beautiful Louka (the bride-to-be) , but something has him occupied in a different town>>56984798

>>56984041
Kidnapped as a baby by a group of adventurers, one of which was a drow cleric raised by a human church after also being kidnapped in a similar situation. The cleric adopted the baby and is very disappointed that she didn't end up becoming an adventurer to continue the tradition.

>>56984041
Adventurer(old guy behind the bar) brought her back from a trip from the Underdark, adopted her, then settled down and opened an inn. She's still hanging around to help her dad until she decides she what she wants to do when she grows up.

>>56984041
Same as all my NPCs: parents were stung to death by bees.

>>56984041
Some other adventurers had been on a putative raid against the Drow via an underdark entrance a couple dozen leagues distant. The outpost they were raiding was a military forward base that was used as a jumping off point for slave taking raids by the drow against the human nation on the surface, and supposed to be only occupied by combatants. However, the Crown Princess was visiting on an inspection tour, and had brought the court hostages along.

She was the youngest of hostages, just a toddler, really, and the only one to survive when the Crown Princess used blood magic to try and summon a demon to cover her escape.

The adventurers left her with the Paladin's sister, who's sister in law operates the tavern. This was 15 years ago, and she doesn't have any real memory of the underdark, but she is the missing heir to the second largest hold in that particular kingdom.

Nurture has won over nature, however, so she wouldn't last a day back home unless it was as a puppet for an ambitious and skillful male (who would need such a puppet due to his gender).

>>56984182
First good post.

>>56985033
Awww.

>>56985008
Same as always, the only real use drow have, fetish-bait.

>>56984113
>Unless she plays any sort of role in the story, it's meaningless. And if she plays one, then it's tailored for the story. It's that fucking simple

Guest-star syndrome is shit. The addle-brained crap you propose is no different than watching some drama series and noting the sudden addition of a well known actor showing up in an episode. Instantly you know they have a large role to play in the plot, otherwise they wouldn't be there, usually as a villain, no suspense, is no surprise, nothing of interest, just their sudden and predicable betrayal of the cast.

>>56984041
Escaped from certain death due to spider politics, but lacks any real skills applicable to the surface economy, so she's stuck doing this.

>>56984041
She's one of the many Drow civilians who fled to the surface when the Dwarves broke the stalemate and broke the Drow empire. They're relatively common now in the plains around the Rift Valley, our Warrior would probably try to chat her up. The dude has a soft spot for dispossessed civilians.

Y'know how after the war in Vietnam a bunch of GIs returned with Vietnamese wives?

It's exactly like that. She has a dwarven husband and they are both exiled to the surface.

File: 1513516647636.jpg (21 KB, 512x384)

21 KB JPG

>>56984041
The proprietor of the tavern used to be a treasure hunter in his youth and raided the Underdark equivalent of the game world. After a particularly long raid he came back to the surface with a baby in his arms.

The proprietor of the tavern is also a Drow, fed up with the bullshit of typical Drow life, he decided "fuck that" and escaped the the surface with his kid in tow, both as spite toward her mother because she's a bitch Drow priestess and because he didn't want his kid to end up being just another bitch Drow priestess.

The proprietor of the tavern is a wizard of some repute, piss him off and the tavern gets a new serving wench. The brainwashed Drow barmaid is what happened to the last asshole that decided to have sticky fingers.

The proprietor of the tavern is a dwarf with a side-business in humanoid trafficking who recently bought himself a Drow. However this is a ruse as those who know the Drow, also know that they often plant agents on the surface for recon and intelligence gathering for surface raids. The Dwarf is too arrogant to consider the convenience at which he acquired his new pet and there's going to be a Drow warparty soon enough to make him understand his error.

>>56984113
>exposition is the only thing that matters

File: Iliira 01.png (536 KB, 686x963)

536 KB PNG

>>56984041
She's not the barmaid, she owns the inn and isn't satisfied by the work her staff does. She's an NPC, but specifically she was a PC in a previous campaign making a cameo appearance.

Don't fight her, she's a 16th level Rogue and can kick your low-level party's ass.

>>56985471
Being jaded sucks, doesn't it?

>>56985846

garbage

>>56984446
Most realistic one yet.

>>56984041
There's a well known cavern passage to the Underdark nearby, controlled and tolled by a Dwarf trade militia the cavern is a boon to the commerce of the towns around it. So much so that the local nobility and governance has a heavy presence in the area as the passage is subject to the comings and goings of both adventurer and far-flung trader alike, despite occasional threat of raids, which are put up with due to the rarity and quality of the goods to be had. The Drow girl is one of many individuals who supplant their usual income by being Underdark guides.

>>56985877
>Watching who done it crime drama
>Some well known actor shows up
>Instantly know their character is guilty party otherwise why hire them?

Yes.

>>56985846
Terrible, take a lap.

File: merchant endless bandolier.jpg (55 KB, 592x800)

55 KB JPG

>>56984041
Welched on a contract. Think about doing it yourself, friend, then take a look in her eyes. See that vacant, yet fearful expression? The one where she can't fully remember whether she's cleaned this table once, or a thousand times, but she just can't stop herself from cleaning it again?
As if she can't remember anything from before five minutes ago?
Yeah, not looking like a good prospect there.

Still....It's not her past that's the real issue, friend. It's her future.
Have a seat. I've got ink, pen, and all the time in the world for the two of us to haggle until we're both satisfied. Now, you don't have to buy her. You could leave right now...... but something about that look you're giving me says it's a seller's market.

>>56986054
I'll give you two biscuits and a bottle of wine for her.

Her son wants the new Ser Alerak book, featuring Beh'ri Jonsaan, the Pale Sage. She figured barmaidery would be an easy way to make some money.

>>56986152
Two biscuits and some wine? This is a living soul we're talking about here, friend. Not some half-forgotten shade or hollow shell. A mind full of learning, yet free of the keynote memories which might build a personality.... or a will stronger than a child's.

Try again, friend. This time, start with actual coinage. We've got time, and she's got tables to clean before the cycle begins again.

>>56985983
Yeah, 'cause "Underdark spy" and "slave" are real original or better.

>>56986581
It's very good wine.

>>56986670
..... let me see the bottle, friend......
..... heh. Good year. very good year.
Very well; sign here, and the deal's as good as done. (~99% of the smaller-fonted text disappears, showing simple, legible terms, in the language of your choice.)

>>56986581
>which might build a personality.... or a will stronger than a child's.
And this is exactly why she's worth no more than jerky. Shes just as likely to help my enemies by sheer mistake as to assist the in few paltry tasks she is now capable of thanks to you. You have made an animated broom that I also have to feed, clean, and worry about protecting.

>>56986614
Nah, but "womyn who appears to be in a subordinate position but is actually A QUEEN" is fucking garbo.

>>56984106
Adventurers go into Undermountain, don't they?

>>56986926
>A QUEEN
She's a fucking bar matron, not bloody empress. The only weird thing of her helping is being in a fucking actual maid outfit which, since it isn't in text, i'm assuming isn't what she actually looks like.

>>56986926
There's a difference between former pc and a mary sue, come on now.

How about a former pc that actually got kicked out of the previous group and only owns the inn because it gives her revenue, and she's desperately looking to go back to her old glory days? Even if the party doesn't want her along.

Then she starts showing up in their adventures, tailing them and going in for the kill at the last second, taking all the credit and the loot. Pretty soon the party would probably start eyeing her as the brand new antagonist.

>>56985777
Checked and top notch ideas anon

>>56984041
Artist name?

>>56984041
I ask the inkeeper, and unless he advices against doing so I'll then ask her.

>>56984041
She's a total slut and knew barmaidens get all that good adventurer dick

>>56984041
Kicked out of Spidertown for apologizing to a man.

>>56984073
>>56984189
Unironically and for non-faggot reasons these.

>>56984041

I'd like to have a story with her back, I have to admit.

File: daisan.jpg (125 KB, 1280x720)

125 KB JPG

>>56984189
>She honestly just wants a quiet life.

She can't have that unless she has bombs.

>>56987964
The fact that this is a real thing in Forgotten Realms takes away any validity of the setting

>>56984166
It's called murder-hoboing anon, and it's all that's available to us when the party just wants to drink and roll dice

She got lost, due to her absolutely dreadful sense of direction.

>>56987700
Ronindude.

>>56988785

What else did you expect from the most retarded of races?

File: Drow_Murderous_Musician.jpg (887 KB, 1800x1871)

887 KB JPG

>>56984041
She was raised by the old svirfneblin who owns the place. The man had no kids of his own but always felt an urge to give a few a nice upbringing in a less hostile environment than the Underdark and when he came across an abandoned drow baby in his earlier years he thought it was time to settle down.

While most know her work as the barmaid she also does a lot of supply runs to the closest Underdark entrance where she negotiates in the markets of her father's last home for all kinds of ingredients for food and drink that just can not be found on the surface.

Additionally she has an adopted duergar brother who spends his time brewing-up new drinks for the inn.

The inn, called Hope's Holdout, is a popular destination due to the novelty of its edibles as well as being the friendliest establishment near the local Underdark.

I love the absolute comfiness of it all...

>>56984073
>>56984189
>>56988657
Faggots are delusional, the posts. Piss off with your gay trap shit.

File: 1241316205056.jpg (119 KB, 640x480)

119 KB JPG

>>56984041
The Inn is located in the Underdark near one of the major trade routes where all kinds of underground creatures pass by.
The owner of the inn is a female duerger. The barmaid is just a drow commoner who figures life might suck less in a place without all the Lolth-Priestesses around, at the same time indoctrinated enough to believe the surface is a bigger shithole even the Underdark.

There I took your snowflake-y premise and made it more mundane.

>>56988988
I think it would be neat to use it to showcase that Drow really are alien little bastards that might do weird shit to try and blend in with the surface for whatever goal they have in mind.
You had to go and make it about wanting to fuck them.

The bartender turns in his seat, his weathered and whiskered face scanning the crowd as he tries to figure out who just asked him a question. This old halfling seems to have gotten lost in conversation with the dwarf woman beside him, and forgotten that he still had patrons to tend to.

"Wassat, kiddo? Oh, her? Adventurers orphan kids in the Underdark all the time. You hack through a band of Duergar slavers, and next thing you know, one of their cages has a toddler in it and you can't imagine leaving the little whelp in that hole in the ground. Some cleric opened up an orphanage some years before Hulda and I settled down here. We were younger then, and a lot less ugly, to boot! Anyway, all those little tykes grow up eventually. Some leave, some stay. One of the little dark gnomes said he was going to become a famous inventor, and went off into the wide world a few years back. Always liked that one. Real clever, that Charles..."

The old halfling seems to drift off in thought, absentmindedly gazing off past you. The elderly dwarf next to him shakes her head, then elbows him and points off at the girl.

"Pardon, Hulda? Oh, right. That one's Cassy, she's been working here for a few years now. Says she wants to go off and become a mage's apprentice, but always changes her mind right before leaving." A spark of inspiration flashes in the old man's eye, and he leans toward you conspiratorially. "Say, you lot look like the adventurin' types. I hate seeing the kidpining for a better life while she frets about highwaymen that haven't been seen in these parts in years. If you escort her to Blackwall and get a note of acceptance from Magister Tolven, I'll give you a map to a treasure I never did track down - you turn around one day and realize you've gotten too old to dig through some old ruins, and have to settle down. I know elves age like lumps of granite, but I can't stand to watch anyone wasting their youth wiping tables, 'specially with a good head like Cassy's."

File: 1480170797184.jpg (223 KB, 600x600)

223 KB JPG

>>56989269
>I had to make it about wanting to fuck them
>not the 3 or 4 trapfags

Yeah you need to go kill yourself together with them.

>>56985745
Well... most of them didn't return WITH them...

>>56987964
Oh man... I don't want to go down to Spidertown.

>>56989443
Its even worse than Skeletontown.

>>56989443
>>56989472
DOWN DOW TO GOBLIN TOWN!

>>56989472
Tell that to the skeletons.

>>56984041
In my campaign setting:

She's the daughter of a mid-level noblewoman from ebonspire, when it came out she was a reformist, she was banished from her home and is now scraping by as a barmaid in dragonsrock.

Much as she doesn't want to say it out loud but she really hopes some day a guy who pervs on her will be a cute drow guy she can elope with.

>>56989320
This is a good post.

>>56985665
>when the Dwarves broke the stalemate and broke the Drow empire.

Cripes, sounds like the dwarves baked up a humble pie for every drow and crammed it down their throats.

>>56985947
>"Being an underdark guide is fairly easy: if they ask you about something in the underdark, just tell them 'it will kill you horribly, stay the fuck away'"

>>56986054
I'll buy her. And I'll take that useless tmp smg off your hands as bonus for the one of a kind deal of thirty gold! - >>56986774

Dammit!

>>56987012
That sounds hilarious

>>56988720
>DEADLY Queen
fucked it.

>>56984041

Why doesn't she just walk around to the other side of the table if she wants to scrub there? Her method seems messy and inefficient.

>>56990010
Because she already made the mistake once and doesn't want to stand up and let everyone see her nipples through her now soaked top.

Her expression is one contemplating "how the fuck do I get out of here without embarrassing myself?"

>>56990021

Hmm yes, possibly. Pardon me whilst I excuse myself to go stroke my erect member.

File: Underratedpost.gif (341 KB, 375x266)

341 KB GIF

>>56989320
Good enough to be worth the read, unlike most of the shitpost on the thread.

File: trumps_up.jpg (47 KB, 920x537)

47 KB JPG

>>56989320

File: 1511706042929.jpg (155 KB, 362x447)

155 KB JPG

>>56989320
Actual good quality poast with decent writing in it. Lads I need a moment.

>>56985969
That doesn't sound right, but I don't watch enough shitty tv to dispute that.

>>56989942
>if they ask you about something in the underdark, just tell them 'it will kill you horribly, stay the fuck away'"
"Unless its a flumph, theyre just happy to be there."

She’s an orphan but not from the underdark but from a colony of surface Drow worshipping Eilistraee. The colony was wiped out by a group of adventurers, that were tricked by agents of Lolth. She was the only survivor, taken in by the Adventurers whom after dealin with the agent, retired. They pooled their resources together and bought a tavern.

Most the original party is long dead, being mostly humans. The last surviving member is an elderly Dwarf woman who had no kids her own, adopted the Drow child. When she dies, the Drow barmaid will inherit the tavern.

She speaks Dwarven as a primary tounge, can curse, spit, and drink like a Dwarf. She’s a hard worker and while she puts up with the occasional handsy customer, she’s really skilled in a bar fight should they try press their luck with anything other than slap on the butt, pinching of the butt, or occasional ear rub.

File: 2016-11-30 19_49_48-TSR 9(...).png (182 KB, 743x896)

182 KB PNG

>>56984041
Another motherfucking acquisition by Jonathan fucking Morningmist.

File: Johnathan Morningmist and(...).png (2.68 MB, 2260x2481)

2.68 MB PNG

>>56992029
>You will never have a vampire THIS lucky and CHAD AF

>>56989320
Afraid to read further in the thread because I know there won't be a better reply than this.

File: 2016-11-30 20_30_47-TSR 9(...).png (44 KB, 222x574)

44 KB PNG

>>56992061
>TFW no High fantasy Maid Cafe Harem

>>56984041
Elf slave wat do :^^^^))))

>>56989320
The feeling of comfy generic fantasy coming off this post is sublime.

>>56984041

The tavern owner used to be a bandit, and after a hilarious mishap where he ended up in a jail with a drow, they broke out, had stupid adventures and eventually settled down to gain money by selling overpriced beer.

>>56988988
Hi r*ddit transplant

>>56984080
>>56984113
I honestly can't imagine being this sad and pathetic of a person.

>>56984041
Drow society finally collapses under the weight of its own backstabbing stupidity, the recent influx drow refugees has made them as common as regular elfs.

File: 1505809446759.jpg (44 KB, 640x539)

44 KB JPG

>>56989320
Damn that's good

>>56984041
It doesn't matter what her back story is because she's gonna be dead within the hour.

https://pastebin.com/tN6paUfQ

File: 4chan-Knight.png (115 KB, 400x400)

115 KB PNG

>>56989320
What? A quality post on /tg/?! This cannot stand!! Engage shitposting!

>>56989320
I’m gonna use this in my campaign. Probably gonna have her come back near the end of the adventure as an accomplished wizard. Thanks anon, this was just the right amount of comfy.

>>56993006
Remember to keep her chaste and virtuous and sensibly dressed. Prim and proper drow are best drow.

>>56990010
Well that's a silly question.
She does it for the tips. She gets way more when she cleans the tables this way.

>>56994515
What like, "don't clean tables that way"?

File: gold.jpg (42 KB, 580x440)

42 KB JPG

>>56995085

>>56984041
She's just here to sample more cock variety.

File: angels.jpg (235 KB, 849x1061)

235 KB JPG

>>56984041
A third generation refugee.
She's never seen the underdark, but she romanticizes it.

File: 1486643747848.jpg (24 KB, 320x320)

24 KB JPG

>>56984041
One day a special snowflake NPC Drow who's like the only good drow in the world because reasons fell in love with a human male that she was force to take hunt down. But because she's a special snowflake Drow she was able to escape with her human lover and her daughter that she was force to have with an other male drow and took a big sack of gold to start a new life else where.

The young lady you see cleaning is Snowflake's daughter and before her mother kidnapped her from her beloved father she was living as a princess. She now wants to get the fuck out of that inn and is willing to pay your party in a lot of gold and make sure you gain powerful Drow alliances once you get her to her real home.

>>56984041
>drow
>barmaid
Choose only one.

>>56992983
>>56992655
>>56990847
>>56990694
>>56990646
>>56989320


You could just bump the topic with images instead of jacking off your copypasta annon.

>>56995807
Drow Barmatron. If she assassinates her superior she gets to work as a hostess in the private club upstairs!

>>56995345
Ooh I like this one. Her great-grandmother was the last to live there, and her grandmother helped integrate into the new surface culture. She tries to learn smatterings of undercommon, which her grandmother encourages from what she remembers. They have family still living there who are important enough to make trips to the surface every few years, although they rarely see one another. Her part of the family left due to concerns of political violence.

She's nice enough but really does romantically think about drow culture and imagines herself being a queen there. Of course there's some human in her, so she'd be a servant to a queen at best, but a girl can dream!

She got tired of the backstabbing life and fled for the surface where some people are this strange thing called "nice" she's heard about. She enjoys niceness a lot and tries to reciprocate it, but she doesnt really understand it.

>>56996153
My mind immediately went to lewd here and I feel bad about it.

>>56996153
So she's autistic?

>>56984041
Orphan of a fallen house. Is secretly saving money to "reclaim her birthright". Is recruitable with 500 gold or a successful seduction roll ( DC 15 for female dwarves, DC 30 otherwise).

>>56996278
Well, lewd can be nice when you're considerate to everyone involved.

>>56996285
Most drow are.

>>56984041
Shes actually an elderly vampire prostitute using magic to look like a drow so she can get money from patrons who like drow, and then killing them.

She is deathly afraid of spiders.

>>56989366
Except we were talking about an actual reason that that could happen. Your mind was the one that automatically jumped to the perverted end of things. Is there something you want to tell us anon?

>>56984041
Source?

>>56997846
I believe it is https://ronindude.deviantart.com

>>56996278
I was going more for adorably awkward with occasional shades of horrifying, but it has lewd potential, sure.

>>56996285
Yes

>>56997887
Doesnt look like he does porn. Disappointing

>>56998010
Check his patron.

>>56989320
Cute

File: Drow Autism.png (70 KB, 946x343)

70 KB PNG

>>56996285
>>56996463

>>56998197
Drizzt?

File: 1507884109855.gif (762 KB, 400x400)

762 KB GIF

>>56989320
The fact that you put this much effort into making something this good in a thinly veiled drow porn thread makes me sad.

>>56984080
You seem to be having a small freudian slip there, friendo.

A Dark Elf man killed his wife after catching her making love with another man.
When the magistrate asked him why he killed her instead of her lover, the man replied, "I considered it better to kill one woman than a different man every week."

A Dark Elf woman was being shown around Daggerfall. When she was shown the magnificent Castle Daggerfall, she smiled sweetly to her guild and whispered, "It reminds me of sex."
"That's odd," said her guild. "Why does our Castle Daggerfall remind you of sex?"
The Dark Elf sighed, "Everything does."

Yelithah told Vathysah that she was having dinner with a Dark Elf named Morleth that night.
"I hear he's an animal," said Vathysah. "He'll rip your dress right off you."
"Thank you for telling me," said Yelithah, "I'll be sure to wear an old dress."

Not even once

>>56984041
Is she cleaning with her tits too?

>>56999983
Most likely; it is a fetish pic.

>>56984041

She was geased to keep that inn clean.

>>57000256
>unfortunately since she considers non-drow to be filth she also murders anyone who enters and then gets straight to scrubbing their blood from the floor

>>56989320
Can somebody screencap this so I can read it later too?

>>56984073
Mare?

>>56984041
she's a nice drow girl from a nice drow family who live in a nice drow house and in a nice drow neighborhood
however she is not a very good barmaid and often confuses orders

>>56999983
It's an edit of a pic with a regular elf. The one who shopped it thought the shoulders and chest were skin when they were part of the dress.

>>57001446
>she's a nice drow girl from a nice drow family who live in a nice drow house and in a nice drow neighborhood
I'm drow, da ba dee da ba die

File: Screenshot_20171218-202219.jpg (418 KB, 1059x604)

418 KB JPG

>>56984041
It's a drow bar and she's actually a surface elf spy with a hat of disguise.

File: Screenshot_20171218-202708.jpg (368 KB, 1068x585)

368 KB JPG

>>57001510
She's really a doppleganger that killed the surface elf barmaid who's pretending to be a drow...
Except a mimic just killed the doppleganger and nobody knows who the fuck is who.
Also, why the fuck is she naked?

File: dirk wow.gif (1.31 MB, 500x278)

1.31 MB GIF

>>57000000
HOYL SHIT IT'S OVER 57 MILLIIOOONNNNSSS!!!!

>>57001559
SORRY I MEAN EXACTLY 57 MILLIOOONNNSS, NOT OVER!

>>57000000
Most likely indeed. Checked.

>>57000000

Very nice digits

>>56984041
fuck, I'm running a campaign where the main NPC my players interact with is an orcish barkeep who runs the local criminal world and has a drow girl as his assistant.

Her story is her mother was a matron and got killed in a slave rebellion, she managed to run away and made herself comfortable in the surface, as it turns out, being trained in deception and espionage served her well.

>>57001483
>>57001510
Ahahaha, shop fail!

Or maybe more success than intended?

>>56989488
Grrrip grab pinch and nab!

>>56992061
>rings on the same hand

>>57001666
Is the orc crime boss gonna be an antagonist to the party? What happens to her if they kill him later? Will she fight them too, or join them?

File: Screenshot_2017-12-18-22-41-01.png (273 KB, 600x1024)

273 KB PNG

>>57001348
I tried

>>57001348
Just copy and paste it into a text file...

>>57003153
Thank you famalam
>>57003204
I can’t share that though

>>56984041
The tavern owner is a former adventurer. The drow girl is the daughter of a runaway he encountered in the Underdark & he saved her life, he told her if she needed anything to go to his hometown & ask for him. Recently the drowgirl showed up on his doorstep with a letter from her mom. The mother has died to illness & asks the tavern owner to give the girl a job if he can. She didn't have much & the girl is still too young to be alone in the world

>>57003842
>waaah please screenshot stuff so i can post it on plebbit for free upboats!!11!!

>>57004895
I'm sure we'll see it in the faggy EBUN TEEGEE SCREEN CAP generals too.

>>56989320
>She goes to Magister Tolven
>She finally becomes a mage
>Rush to tell the old dwarf at the tavern
>Gets raped and killed by the bandits
What your party would of done when they discover this terrible news?

>>56984041
Born to a single mother and raised above ground in the slums of a large human city. Experienced a lot of oppression from humans who hate elves. A few years back some thugs beat her badly and she ended up with with a really severe brain injury that left her speech impaired and unable to work for long periods at a time. The owner at the tavern near the docks has a thing for elves, so he offered to give her a place to live and work. She was well aware of his intentions, but didn't see many other options. She started cleaning the floors, tables, and dishes, and as she started to relearn how to speak she started taking customer's orders as well. The tavern owner has been kind enough so far and hasn't demanded anything extraordinary, though she feels his lustful stares when she bends over. Sometimes she now wonders if that's really a bad thing, but she still feels trapped in the situation and recognizes that if their relationship were to become complicated or sour, it could mean she ends up back on the streets.

File: Screenshot-2017-12-19 tg (...).png (142 KB, 1806x476)

142 KB PNG

>>57001348
There you go my dude.

>>57005468
Probably be burying the corpse I just raped and robbed.

File: 1463086275323.jpg (336 KB, 635x769)

336 KB JPG

Former slave freed by a paladin. Overwhelmed, and already weird by drow standards, she wants to make it up to him. He helps her find honest work thinking a quiet, peaceful life will be best for her, and checks in on her periodically to make sure she doesn't relapse as the inn is located along a road he frequents on his travels for work.

>>57005468
She implied that someone would be interested in her succes.
She implied her importance is high enouph to remind someone about her existence.
She implied that her magic is something you can tell to everybody.
She died to band of thungs despite wielding power to change universe.


Cause of death: Insane hubris.

>>56984041
She poisons the drinks of high elves

>>56995687
I like this art style. Where is it from, a comic or some such?

>>56984919
The only true answer

>>56998197
Holy shit im dying of laughter
>Bazinga'd so hard his autism caused america to collapse...

>>56995835
Not the anon who wrote that post, but one anon who you (you)'d. So stop projecting faggot.

>>56984080
>>56984166
Playing roleplaying games without roleplaying, sounds like a hoot

>>57013130
Uh, ackshyually, that's the only way to play roleplaying games. Lurk moar.

>>56989320
another anon appreciating your work
keep it up my dude

File: sleepy hollow.jpg (240 KB, 1280x682)

240 KB JPG

>>56996101
Wouldn't the family need to be traitors to be able to leave the underdark though?
Can't have family visits then.

>>56989320
noice.

>>56984041
She had very bad sense of direction. Went out to take a stroll in her mother's mansion gardens, ended up at the inn. Had to work to get fed up here, said the Innkeeper - and she honestly doesn't mind about the work. She never left the inn, anyways - the Innkeeper once had told her to buy some stuff from the market, and she only returned 3 days later with a bunch of Goblin merchandise, escorted by some adventurers.

>>56984041
I'd like to rape her if you know what I mean

>>56996153
>Elf slav what do

>>57020436
Slavs can be nice if you're white or the right kind of east asian

File: jade_by_blazbaros-db24m38[1].png (172 KB, 700x1200)

172 KB PNG

>>56984041
Who gives a fuck about that skinny bitch ?

Let's talk about the baker's half-orc daughter instead.

>>57005468
Punch the gm, because we've talked to him about overusing shaggy dog bullshit

>>57020536
I want to butter those buns.

>>56984080
this but just fill it in as you go, if a player really likes on NPC then give them a backstory and run with it.

>>57020536
I'd butter her sandwich, if you catch my drift.

>>56989320

well done my man

>>57010330
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaaAOqSa0pE

It's an alright movie and this girl only shows up for like a few seconds

>>56984182
>Got sick of Feminazi Norh Korea.
While the North Korea angle gets pretty close I'm not sure I'd compare the Drow to Nazis. While they are both overtly evil and destined for failure, the Drow aren't so much fascist as they are theocratic (and I think mercantilist). Also, most feminists would argue the Drow are a matriarchy, which contradicts the stated goal of feminism.

I'm being pedantic here but actual North Korea Feminazi Drow could make for an interesting setting detail. I remember I made a setting where the Drow were much more organized and aggressive, though they were also being mind controlled by eldritch gods.

>>57020536
>No muscles
>Pitiful tusks
Disgusting

>>57021426
>>57021467
>buttermind
>>57021966
Some people are turned on by cripples.

File: 1513736330049.jpg (113 KB, 574x400)

113 KB JPG

>>57000000
Must gain the energies of this get

>>56984041

So that entire demon princes hell-in-a-cell in downtown menzo did nothing good to the drow population. Everyone scarpered, refugees flood the service and other underdark kingdoms. Plenty end up as lunch or slaves or corpses on a backroad, most don't. They make new lives, follow new laws.

Clean tables in an inn.

It's a new world for the drow species. One without Lolth. The maids story is that of ten thousand other drow scattered across the continent.

In all honesty it's nicer than the last one.

>>56988988
The concept that a despotic matriarchal society full of androgynous elves would not have a middle class of cute traps is just ridiculous.

>>56989320
I'm glad I opened this thread

>>57005468
The bartender and his wife are old retired adventurers. I guess they would still kick any bandit's ass.

>>56989320
Be my GM!

>>57022349
See if you can recreate the outcome, this is some seriously dope shit, my dude.

>>56984073
>she's actually a boy
>just kidding she's a trap

These are the same statement, what the fuck are you on?

>>56992451
>reddit is full of faggots
>n-n-n-n-no if you hate gayshit you f-f-from reddit

I hope you choke on a dick, faglover.

>>57022482
It's a girl cosplaying as a boy cosplaying as a girl. Double trap, as it were.
If it's a boy cosplaying as a girl cosplaying as a boy it's a double reverse trap.

File: anon i.png (6 KB, 597x187)

6 KB PNG

>>56995835
Anon, people actually do appreciate some texts and want to express it. Stop being such a faggot.

>>56998010
They ALWAYS do porn you fool. ALWAYS.

>>56985846
Excellent bait anon

quack

It's time to let this thread die.

File: 1513223398877.jpg (15 KB, 480x321)

15 KB JPG

>>57020536

>>56984041
She left the caves to lead a life of hedonism. She wants to have sex with as many adventurous as possible. Hence her being a bar maid.

File: 1352948209569.png (425 KB, 615x800)

425 KB PNG

>>57031314

>>56984080
>Not understanding that what the players pay attention to is what the game is about

How many times will you bump this from page ten?

>>57038579
> complains about bumping
> bumps

>implying implications

Let's fill this thread with a stupid amount of shitposts, because we NEED TO KEEP THIS THREAD ALIVE

>>56985064
Again?! Damn those murderous hymenopterans! When will their lust for the nectar of death be sated? When?

>>56986054
>something about that look you're giving me says it's a seller's market.
Heh. He thinks I’m some kind of rube and he’s arrogant enough to say so. Well. Can’t say I’ll feel guilty for taking this poor sap for everything he’s worth.

File: 12512512515.jpg (155 KB, 400x505)

155 KB JPG

>>57000000
Get wasted on some puritan reddit autist

Quality bumps.

>>57021539
Thanks Anon.

I know of Wizards, though I never managed to finish it. It’s one of those movies that I would dearly like to enjoy, but never managed to get anything but super annoyed by it.