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I'll be honest, I like CoC's basic idea of "goblins are a female-only race of shortstacks with breeding fetish", but I really don't know how you would invoke that in a game that isn't explicitly ERP.

Maybe it could work by treating them matter-of-factly? Like, goblins fill a niche in society somewhere between gnomes and halflings; they're big in the mercantile and entertainment business, so you'll find a lot of goblin merchants, traders, barkeeps, waitresses and dancers, they show up wherever humans do, and any mentioned human/goblin couples are mentioned in the same casual way as human/human couples are.

Also, hostile goblins that still practice the "old ways" aren't played as sexy at all, because PCs are almost never going to encounter them "in the mood". When you show up to fight, they'll eat you alive, perhaps literally, because they're not so stupid they put sex above survival.

Does this sound like it might work as a way to do "non-ERP CoC-style goblins", anons?

...Huh, you know, if that works, one could perhaps amalgamate it with their lore from 4e's "Playing Hobgoblins" to turn hobgoblins into a very unusual take on the Amazon archetype...

>>55752300
>CoC degeneracy
Are goblins a mainstream fetish now?

Also, Eberron has Goblinoids as a the remnant of an ancient empire that may one day rise again.

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>>55752300
Just find people to ERP with, trust me it will be fun and you can get that out of your system in a healthy way rather than repressing it.

Honestly combining magical realm stuff with serious world-building is a great idea that gets shat on too much by prudish neck-beards who are never happy no matter what. People like that won't care how well you dress it up, they'll smell anything that is even the slightest bit different and call you a pervert even if you aren't being sexual. Best to ignore them and find a group (IRL or online) without them. They'll die just as they lived, alone.

Sorry I don't have any goblins on my computer right now, have wolf girl who might be a Kobold if you decide that's how they work in your setting.

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My old group was a bunch of perverts anyway. So it turned into sex jokes and situations fairly quickly and we all had a good time.

>>55752300
>>55752407

Do spoilers work on /tg/? Here's how I'd do ERP goblins if I was in a group I was confident wouldn't judge me for it. CW: Pedophilia, rape, beastality, Alignment discussion.

Goblins resemble green skinned human children with adult sized sexual characteristics, and were created by an evil sorceress as a bio-weapon before they proved impossible to control and became a serious invasive species in fantasyland.

They believe the week should fear the strong, are semi-cannibalistic, and reproduce by rape. By themselves they breed like rabbits, and when they can get away with it, will kidnap humans (inc children) to enslave and breed with. The child of a Goblin is always another goblin no matter what humanoid species they breed with.

If you could get them to overcome their breeding instinct, they would become chaotic neutral at best, but as it stands every male goblin is destined to be a chaotic evil rapist when it grows up, which takes about a week. Female goblins are naturally chaotic neutral, and will be an accessory to any atrocity their brothers/fathers commit, but can otherwise be redeemed if not allowed to reproduce. Not regularly fucking them roughly however will make them depressed and it's really hard to keep them from getting pregnant with 1d3 sons and 1d6 daughters if you do. A depressed female goblin will run away and commit evil acts. The best option is to just kill the male ones. Whether your god allows this is up to the GM.

Goblins do not distinguish pleasure from pain, and are born with teeth, Sometimes they eat their way out of their mothers, the high mother mortality rate is countered by a much larger litter size. Goblins also regenerate any nonfatal wound given enough time, this sometimes causes malformity. Life expectancy unknown, none die from natural causes.

>>55752603
Cont...
As stated before, goblins have relatively large genitals/breasts and are not comfortably wearing any armor, even metal bikinis or loincloths. They can wear jewelry including non covering magical armor but they have to let it all hang out and are thus vulnerable to death by blood loss if you make the right called shots. Or just kill them in any other way you please, they are relatively small fry. This is counteracted by the fact that they are small targets with a higher natural AC or whatever your system uses to make things hard to hit.

If goblins are rich enough they will decorate themselves with piercings that look painful to more civilized humanoids, but in fact only cause them to feel pleasure. If they can't afford that, they show off with ritual scarification, usually showing who their master is. Even though they can't be controlled in the long term, they are often short term enslaved by bigger bullies. Their only real motivations in life are to rape and or be raped. Eat and be eaten. Mouths and genitals on legs.

Goblins are often accompanied by Wargs. Wargs are another bio-weapon that takes the form of a wolf large enough to ride. If allowed too it will rape females of any humanoid race and impregnate them with puppies, these puppies will be perfectly sized for members of that race to ride. Wargs are always male, and warg riders are almost always female. They can be domesticated by any non-lawful humanoid female but are associated most often with goblins, who will deploy female goblin mounted archers.

Other monstrous humanoids such as Hobgoblins are believed to be larger variants of goblins. Goblin kings are a rare form of goblin capable of growing to adult size, taking PC levels, being any alignment and having a higher than normal charisma value. They can wear clothes and have spiky blonde hair. Goblins seem to obey them for unknown reasons. They also steal human children and live in labyrinths... yeah you get the joke.

I have goblins as a industrious polytheistic race that dwell primarily in the mountains. Hobgoblins are rarely born between goblins, but are much more common when a human and goblin breed. Their panteon includes a goddess of fertility, a goddess of harvest, a god of hard work, and a god of honor and glory.

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>>55752603
>>55752820
And as a palette cleanser for that, a non evil ERP race.

Beast Friends are an attempt by a good aligned Wizard to create a strain of beastman that could get along with humans. They take the form of human women with animal ears and a tail, and come in many verities modeled after different species. If the species is carnivorous, it will have retractable fangs and claws that appear normal unless the Friend is in an unfriendly mood, in which case she will suddenly act very much like her beastman ancestors. But that's not a problem unless you are unfriendly.

Beast Friends are a female only race, and reproduce by breeding with any male humanoid. The offspring will always be a Beast friend with the same animal traits as her mother, on a body superficiality resembling the father's. An elf father might make her taller, a dwarf father will make her shorter, and an orc father will give her green skin. The only real difference is halflings which produce "Chibi" beast friends, which are a size category smaller but otherwise identical and sexually compatible with any other humanoid.

Beast friends can be any non lawful alignment and any PC class, but favor rogue or bard. If they take levels in any magic using class, they will start to grow extra tails at high levels for an unknown reason, up to 9 at epic level. Magic using beast friends have a natural aptitude for shape shifting, allowing them to use those spells more often, but always maintain their animal features which cannot be hidden by any transformation magic. This seems to be a side effect of the spells that created them.

The spells used to create beast friends are open sorcery and if you know them, they can be used to transform any animal or beastman into one. They may or may not appreciate this new form. It's permanent and very hard to de-spell, requiring an entire quest to find a way to remove it. Some say there is an evil version that can be used on non-beast humanoids, but this is a rumor.

>>55753083
A potent anti-furfag weapon, nice adaptation of Kemono Friends.

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>>55752300
I don't know, I may be too invested in this, but I really don't see what's so problematic about this portrayal of them. It's unusual, yeah, but it's no more inherently pushed in the player's faces than the old "dwarf women have beards!" thing used to be.

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>>55753083
Any level of dispel magic or illusion cast on a beast friend will temporarily make them furry again, and if they know this magic, they can shift into this form at will, but will otherwise remain the same. The claws and fangs of predator types can also be hidden or revealed in this manner.

All beast friends have darkvision and bonuses to perception checks, predators have natural weapons, prey has a movement bonus. Both have bonuses to dex and cha, or con and cha at the player's choice.

Beast friends have fur even if it's hidden magically, and thus do not have to wear clothing to be protected from extremes of heat and cold. They can however wear clothing and armor if they want to. Since this is an ERP race with high defensive stats, they'll probably go naked as a class with natural AC, and/or get magical bikini armor. They aren't quite nymphs.

>>55752325
Is there anything in Eberron that isn't a remnant of an ancient empire?

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>>55752300
>goblins fill a niche in society somewhere between gnomes and halflings; they're big in the mercantile and entertainment business, so you'll find a lot of goblin merchants, traders, barkeeps, waitresses and dancers, they show up wherever humans do
It's a relatively modern notion that civilized goblins are played as rivals to gnomes or halflings, and you can thank Warcraft for much of that. That game turned them into highly intelligent but at least partly unstable war profiteers who will turn a buck off literally anything they can get their hands on. Any significant R&D force would have at least one or two goblins, because despite being annoying, they generally know their shit. Goblins tend to pop up as entertainers and whores because goblins aren't known for their inhibitions.

That's how most modern civilized goblins are treated, as a minimum: not as inhibited as most other races, and occasionally too smart for their own good.

>>55753135
How would you balance flying and aquatic beast friends? Presumably they would sacrifice the natural movement for something else, but flight seems too OP for first level.

>>55753231
I would advise playing something other than DnD.

>>55752274
I think they can work well if you used them in place of Halflings or Gnomes as the generic short race, giving them a few more defining features than 'shorter human' or 'annoying'

For my own setting I opted to make them full on demonic cannon fodder

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>>55753285
Yeah well that's a given. I'm trying to paint in broad strokes, and that involves using DnD as a default assumption when it comes to traditional games.

Flying beast friends sacrifice their claw attack for the ability to glide a bit, taking no fall damage. Once they reach the right level they can spend a feat to learn that spell even without taking caster levels. Their wings appear as weird hair ornaments which are too small to support flight, until they learn the right spells.

Swimming beast friends sacrifice their claw attack for the ability to breathe underwater and resist cold. They may also chose to reduce their walking speed to increase their swimming speed, otherwise they are the same. Their fins are only visible when swimming. They may also spend feats to gain tentacles or other natural attacks if they choose.

A scavinging beast friend has a bite attack instead of a claw attack, and may spend feats to gain poison resistance.

A venomous beast friend has a bite attack instead of a claw attack, and may spend feats to gain a poisonous attack and poison resistance.

Slithering or otherwise tentacled beast friends may gain a grasp attack replacing the claw attack. They may also spend feats to gain poison and bites if they chose. The tail or tentacles are invisible until it's time to strike.

A beast friend may gain another beast's ability as a feat, as long as it makes sense animal wise. A bird has both wings and claws for instance. A beast friend may not use multiple natural attacks in the same turn unless they could do that as a human. There is no real advantage to having claws and bites unless one is poisoned and the other is not. You can't do both at once.

All beast friends may use their natural weapons for sneak attacks if they have levels in rogue. A perception check with a DC equal to the beast friend's CHA is necessary to realize the beast friend is not so friendly and about to strike. Otherwise the beast friend appears to be unarmed.

>>55752274
I use goblinoids as a highly advanced pseudo-Chinese bureaucracy with powerful artifice, mostly constructs shaped like animals and foo dogs. They're big on revising history and center their culture around a reclusive, allegedly infallible, possibly fictional Immortal Emperor. They do tend toward lawful evil, but not outrageously so, and most of them are just peasants trying to meet a quota

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>>55752274
>civilized
>shows pictures of harlots
It's like you all want to be classified as immature succubi or something.

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>>55753483
>that involves using DnD as a default assumption when it comes to traditional games.

>>55752300
It isn't possible to play CoC-style goblins straight in a game without touching on the subject of sex. If your games wouldn't have sex between humans, then it shouldn't have CoC-style goblins.

Fundamentally, it's about the edginess of your fantasy. CoC Goblins are very edgy. Rape is a thing, races outbreeding others is a thing, affairs are a thing, brothels are a thing.

You could make an appeal to depravity. The PCs are soldiers in a war-torn land. You witness atrocity everywhere. There are Sanity rolls, there are Mood rolls, there are serious analyses of the PCs' psyches. Drugs, murder, jealousy, sex.

The PCs come home from a battle in which they just witnessed half their company die, another quarter loot the bodies of their fallen comrades, and a final quarter burn down a village and rape the women. The camp is full of people smoking, snorting, drinking, and fucking.

In short, the best way to hide a tree is in the forest. Don't try to play CoC-style goblins "straight", because the player is sharp-nosed and will be able to smell the eroticism. Instead, dip them in a liberal helping of horseshit, dirt, blood, and vomit. Goblin sluts are just a natural, horrifying addition to a world that depraved.

>>55752603

>green skinned human children

you lost me there pedo

>>55752603
>ERP
>Pedophilia, rape, beastality

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One of my players plays a pretty civilized goblin... fuck she's probably the most civilized character and player in the game and besides being super dependent on good stealth roles she's almost always there for the rest of them.

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>>55753556
Do you want me to stat this shit up in fate, because I fucking will. DnD terms get a lot of ideas across quicker though.


(Cursed) but-plug of (not)getting tail-fucked.

A cursed magical item that transforms anybody who wears it (provided they have an anus of some kind) into a female beast friend of a pre-specified type and the same size category as the wearer. It will not come off until the curse is broken. Fortunately the wearer no longer needs to poop,
the feces being transported directly to the elemental plane of earth. All non magical attempts to remove it will only cause anal stimulation to the wearer. Some versions are even prehensile.

The only way to tell the difference between this and a real beast friend is by looking at where the tail connects. In a real beast friend has it attached to the tailbone. Another way to find out is to cast illusion dispelling magic, which will cause the wearer's ears to be revealed to be part of a headband, and the claws to be gloves. The wearer will also not have fur. The ears and gloves are stored in a pocket dimension until somebody wears the tail.

A non cursed version exists, which is just the headband, in this case the tail and claws appear naturally until it is removed.

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>>55752300
I just made them eugenics fanatics in my setting. Fetish for breeding, check. Exaggerated sexual characteristics, check.

>>55753634
He's not saying to play goblins explicitly as sex fiends who only live for breeding, and no one said such a concept is only tolerable in a completely gonzo everything-is-fucked setting. He was designing those civilized goblins with the understanding that CoC goblins are the same thing taken to the extreme.

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>>55753644
Don't deny that's why you want to play a small humanoid in an ERP setting. It's no more pedophilic than halflings.

I'm just giving you a slightly kinker than normal monster to do whatever you want with. A non pedo will be horrified by these and want to stamp them out rather than play as or fuck them. If you want non horrific small creatures and don't want to be called a pedophile, play them outside of ERP and don't use fetish art.

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>>55753742
The proliferation of DnD-defaulting kills me a bit inside, every time I see it being normalized like that

Magical Realm is only okay if it's MY magical realm.

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While we're at it when it comes to tottaly not being pedophiles.

Chibi: A free template that can be applied to any race that makes them exactly one size category smaller with no other bonuses or penalties. Said race will always have the proportions of a child, but will otherwise reach sexual maturity like a normal member of their race, and can even give birth (with medical assistance) to children who will otherwise be normal sized for their race (unless two chibis mate)

THICC: A free template that does the opposite of Chibi. No stat bonuses or penalties, just one size category THICCer. If a THICC giantess gets pregnant, you might not even notice until the normal sized child is born with no complications at all, unless the father was also THICC, in which case it's a normal pregnancy with all the risks associated.

Futa: A feat that gives a biologically female character functional male genitalia, they can impregnate or be impregnated. The player gets to decide if they have balls and if the dick can dissapear at will or not. A trapfinding roll with a DC equal to the character's CHA is required to detect the penis if it is hidden by panties or magic. If the character has male genitalia but no working female genitalia, there is no cost for having tits as well.

These templates can be applied at character creation, or be the result of some sort of spell or magical item effect. No you can't mix Chibi and THICC or stack THICC multiple times. That's just dumb. Fuck off. I hate you so much.

>>55753888
In fate these are all aspects, except for futa which is a stunt. Same goes for the Beast Friend stuff, all aspects, except the natural attack stuff which is stunts.

>>55753926
>Magical Realm is only okay if everyone agrees to it.

>>55753802
>Don't deny that's why you want to play a small humanoid in an ERP setting. It's no more pedophilic than halflings.

Stop projecting your dumbass pedo mind onto things.

>>55754021
The only one projecting is you. Some people like lolis and 3d girls but don't find 3d children attractive. Some people even enjoy the idea of playing with or as child characters in a non lewd manner. It's closeted pedophiles who take the most offense to this, the same way most child abuse is committed by trusted family members and clergy. And the same way anti-gay politicians almost always turn out to be closet cases. Repression of innocent lust is what turns people into sexual predators.

I was never molested, and I've never even considered molesting a human child. People like you are the ones I'd be worried about letting near kids. This kind of projection is a basic form of human psychology called denying the shadow. People who won't even consider their own darker sides are the ones who end up succumbing to them. Call me whatever you want if it helps you not rape kids, but I know what I am and what I'm not. It's precisely because I sometimes enjoy lolis in addition to normal sized 2d and 3d girls that I know I'm no sexual predator. A predator in denial would feel guilt after jacking off, I just feel orgasm. 2d lolis don't even look like real human children, who are in fact annoying little shits that you would not enjoy having sex with unless you have lost the ability to attract or be attracted to older women, or were just a rapist who didn't care.

I can differentiate between fap bait and real RPG material.

If it's late and I wanna jack off then bring on the shortstack female goblins.
If it's Game Time then I don't wanna hear that bullshit, the goblins should be deranged and grotesque and should die in hilarious ways when we attack them.

ERP fags don't realize they are ruining their own and everybody elses dynamic when they want to bring in fetish art into the killing game. I suspect they only play online chat games so in their minds it's silent computer alone-time with the screen, where they can jack off to fetish art willy nilly. But in a real game you are physically sitting with your geek friends eating snacks and rolling dice. So don't mix wanking off with goofy fictional-violent social activities with your fat bearded buddies.

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>>55754216
My eugenics gobbos are in a meatspace game, anon. Nobody has complained about the busty shortstacks yet, though they've only popped up three or four times I think.

>>55752274
>Are they not the favored shortstack race of /tg/?
I prefer dorf shortstacks. It saddens me deeply they are so outnumbered by the other short races

>>55752300
Biggest fantasy was fathering a clan of half goblins

>>55754849
Y-you . . . too?

>>55754791
I prefer the jap kind of dorfs, if you know what I mean.

>>55754968
You sir, you are a blight.

>>55754968
This guy has good taste

>>55754968
I don't think more or less of you for that, anon.

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>>55754968
I don't know what you mean.

>>55754594
nani

>>55754791
The problem is that they are too mannish compared to other shortstacks

Yeah. I use them more as conniving faerie loan sharks and shady merchants. They're not stupid, but they can't resist a chance to get richer or to fuck someone over. Basically all of the ones the players met were small timers slumming it in the mortal realm until they can get the sort of primo contracts that would let them get a place in 'real' society in the Hedge.

They also have some physical quirks,too. They can reproduce asexually to make more traditional dimwitted goblins as underlings, they have a lot of rodent like traits that vary by subspecies (Common gobbos are ratlike, Kobolds are bat-moles, Boggarts are porcupines), and they're pseudo-hermaphrodidic, able to switch sex more or less at will.

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I just run them like this.

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>>55752274
>civilized race
>generic evil monsters to slay without mercy

Not mutually exclusive in my table. No more than humans can build castles and have bandits to be mowed down. All civilizations can have outlaws, psychos and such.

How I did it:
>The fairy lands punished mortals for the enslavement which created hobgoblins, exchanging countless mortal babies for changelings similar to what mortals had made out of their kin. Goblins descend from those changelings, and the childish heritage is reflected in their size, creative but wild mentality and penchant for hoarding collections of similar items, from spoons to shrunken heads and anything in between.
>You can count on a goblin to think of anything no one has thought of before, and often it works: developing their own cities on the high lands where the nomad hobgoblins can't reach them, figuring out how to salvage sunken ships, making saltpeter out of other people's garbage, popular works of literature...

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>>55754791
Ironically, I think the artists for 4e agreed with you; didn't the 4e female dwarves look like (admittedly not-exaggerated/drawn for porn) shortstacks?

>>55755147
Lolis with really big hair, basically. Like Queen's Blade, or the MGE.

>>55752300
There are a couple of settings where demons/trolls/goblins/whatever capture human women to rape them in order to breed their kids. Goblins could easily be a gender swapped version of that. You just need to focus more on the capturing and enslaving parts than the sex parts.

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I pretty much dropped Hasbro / Pathfinder Goblins and now exclusively do Warcraft Goblins.
I don't care if it's a ripoff, I like them way better than the classic ones.

>>55753213
So, Firangi.

I made a setting where goblins became civilized through capitalism and tinkering with weapons, eventually developing a Consortium that acts as the Goblin government and nation.

Imagine the greediest little bastards with flourescent hair, pyromania, and a love of making new ways to hurt things. Feral Goblins are bog standard D&D/Pathfinder Goblins though.

Suits, Dresses, All Sales Final.

>>55757033
So just WoW goblins?

So, would Goblins be like American Bostons?
Or would they be like Louisiana weird deep south French?

>>55757175
If you play the Iron Kingdoms RPG they are split this way, the City Goblins are real finicky and sleazy while the wilderness goblins are ramshackle and folksy.

>>55757125
I guess?

>>55756820
I came in here to say this. I've got a long running campaign that still uses classic goblins, but I'm going straight to Warcraft Goblins once this campaign wraps up. They're so much more interesting as a concept and I love them as a foil to the gnome/halfling archetype. I'll have to find a way to tone them down a bit, but the general idea of a profiteering mad scientist tinkering race of rude cowards is solid and leaves enough room for certain goblins to fall outside the stereotype as well as being a race that would generally be accepted in more metropolitan areas. Honestly, I may go full homebrew and make them a pretty regular part of life in my future settings.

>>55752274
This broad's tits are spilling from her dress

>>55757892
And that's different to how rich and busty noblewomen like to dress... how?

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>>55753756
It's been thrown out in threads for goblins, with their low lifespan and physical inferiority, to make a good slave race.
And if goblins are slaves they can be bred like dogs. There could be different breeds, some for combat, some for pleasure.

>>55753756
>>55758526
Now I'm picturing different varieties of goblins being splintered off from some lost empire of goblins that was heavy on eugenics and manipulation of breeds like that. That'd be where you'd get some goblins who are basically feral green monkeys bred for war, Bugbears and Hobgoblins designed as laborers, servants, or more elite soldiers, the zany intelligent mechanically savvy goblins, goblins crossbred with magical creatures to give them magical powers, or ones with enhanced psionic potential.

It certainly would help explain why there are so many different goblinoids running around.

>>55753756
Call of Cthulhu?

>>55752300
I need more petite goblin gals like that pic.

Cute, petite gobbo girls are in short supply.

>>55757892
They sure are observant anon.

>>55754150
>Gets called out for displaying his barely veiled pedo fantasies in public
>Y-you're the real closet pedo here!

Sure anon, everyone who finds you a bit sick is just in denial and a repressed predator.

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Obligatory

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>>55758809
Is that by the same artist who did this?

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>>55758819
Maaybe.

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Which one?

>>55758895
Bottom left.

>>55752274
A recurrent theme of my setting is "monster" races slowly coming to civilisation.
Goblins were, and mostly still are, barbarians hordes, like Warhammer goblins if you want, but the development of mankind decimated them and pushed them further and further. Turn out disorderly hordes don't work much against disciplined and organised military, and numbers only get you that far.

If the classic goblin tribes still exist in savage lands, some goblins started to live in a new sort of ruthless and lawless place: cities cesspools. Those are closer to Warcraft goblins to get you the idea.
Goblins raised there are totally uprooted from their tribal culture, they both despised they tribal cousins for "being stupid" and envy their sense of community, longing to fit somewhere.
They also tend to aspired to the realisations of the civilised races while resenting them deeply, not always justifiably.
City goblins tend to play fool to hide their deep bitterness, insecurities and perhaps cleverness. Of course many turn to a life of crimes, where they can feel in control, sometime even important.

But some make their desire to prove themselves in the face of the world a tool to aspire to greatness. They will throw themselves in a craft, an art, science, whatever they fancy and give everything to accomplish anything there. Those are the flamboyant bards, the daring explorers, the maniacal scientists, the fierce fighters and even the reckless heroes of the goblins race. Everything to shine, to succeed or to go out in fame and glory, everything to shout to the face of the world: "I matter!"

One could only hope they ultimately pass this "civilizational teenaged phase" so to speak, but they already proved to be more than a just plague to civilization and it's becoming harder and harder to deny they didn't pushed many fields forward in their destructive but bold and ambitious attempts.

Is there a lewd booru for gobbos?

>>55759066
You can probably find them on rule34

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>>55752274
Goblins in The Dark Eye come in different flavors.
Goblins usually live in tribes lead by a matriarch. Their religion revolves around a busty boar-headed goddess and her equally boar-headed husband. They don't know that sex leads to babies and they do the first thing for funsies and view the second thing as a blessing from their gods. They take good care of each other, but once someone drops dead, he is no longer considered a goblin and often the bodies of the dead are fed to their boars.

Goblin bandits are the more typical evil goblin pests. They often lost their tribes and while looking for someplace to belong, they get picked up by groups of bandits who use them as cannon fodder. Or they end up the wrong path on their own. That happens too.

But there are also very, very few cities which indeed have a goblin population where they are treated as second class citizens. They have to do all the dirty work but they don't get killed just for existing.

>>55759092
Ah I suppose, it's just gonna suck. r34 is such a shit site.

>>55759066
Just check gelbooru and e621.

>>55759066
Far as I know, rule34, gelbooru, e621 and shortybooru are your only major gatherings of goblin-girl lewds.

>>55759126
>>55759103
ty m8s. I guess the aco shortstack thread might have some gobbo lewds too.

>>55752603
>CW: Pedophilia, rape, beastality, Alignment discussion.
>alignment discussion

>>55759176
There's a shortstack discord related to that thread as well.

I actually like the idea of most races besides humans being small races, shortstack feitsh aside.

I perfer the idea of races like Goblins and Harpies to be domesticated by humanity since they are implied to breed quickly and presumably not live very long but then that would change as they are taken out of their natural habitat and made to live and adapt to humans.

Goblins being slaves and servants (and yes, used for sex as well) lost their more feral features like jagged teeth and claws for more humanish appearance while harpies similarly had their besital features smoothed out and learned to live and perch in and around human cities. Most, if not all, human settlements will make sure to build their buildings to accomodate them.

>>55756899
To an extent, yes.

>>55759787
Honestly, one of the reasons I've never been able to take PF's harpies seriously is because it makes no logic sense - why is a [b]Chaotic[/b] Evil race supposed to eat its baby-daddies because "tradition says so"? That's Lawful behavior right there. And once you have some harpies sparing their children's fathers, logically, they'd be the ones who have more success rearing offspring (dad looks after the hatchlings to ensure mom wants to keep him alive), which would realistically end up "domesticating" the race over generations.

But then, what do I know? I can't stop thinking about how to make both the shortstack gobbos from my 2nd post and hobgoblins as gun-wielding amazons work.

>>55759826

I wasn't even aware PF harpies were like that.

Obviously something I can and will ignore. My manor of domestication is simple. You teach them how to do some kind of useful role and their ability to assimilate a similar level of education to humans allows them to do that job more effectivly. Initially you select for very human like or desired features and then let the rest handle itself.

>>55758999
This dude know's what's up.

>>55758999
The only good answer

>>55758793
Say whatever you want, I'm not the one who started the thread.

>>55759229
In my experience much more triggering than any of the other things.

>>55756757
I prefer lolis with really big asses

>>55752274

In my last game, Goblins served as the rival 'great ancient civilization' to Elves.

Goblins are incredibly dangerous, because goblin magic doesn't play by the same rules as the elvish magic tradition (which is the same as the human magic tradition, because we learned it from them).

Elvish magic involves a lot of flourish and complex moving parts. Its as much an art as it is a means to an end.

Goblins don't think like that. Goblins are a lot more simple. But simple doesn't mean stupid, simple just means SIMPLE. A knife is simple, but a knife can be used for almost anything.

If an Elf wants you dead, they will summon fire or lightening or call up a demon to kill you.

If a goblin wants you dead, they make you dead. Why bother worrying so much about the means when you can skip right to the end? Boom, falls over dead. End of story.

Elvish magic is about invoking powerful forces and binding them to your will. Goblins just change the nature of a thing to make it be what they want. Magic like that is how they invented trolls for the specific task of fucking up Elves, and orcs for the specific task of fucking up humans after the Elves started hiring human mercenaries.

This difference in values (means vs ends) features heavily in folklore about deals with goblins. A goblin is a powerful ally, but you have to be very careful what you ask for. Because you are not really speaking the same language.

>>55756665
That they did, and it's probably where my own preference comes from

>>55758895
Top center is pretty cute.

>>55752274
I have goblins as magically degenerated humans, originally made as slaves by an elf empire. Hobgoblins are a new phenomenon, sort of an evolutionary throwback that are taller and stronger, but because they're surrounded by the stupid, evil, goblins that birthed and raised them, they usually end up being malevolent warlords.


I want a way to justify civilized green girls tho, given that origin

>>55759764

Eight chan's /monster/ board also has multiple gobbo threads.

>>55761921
Could always go with the idea that being smarter means that some hobgoblins use their superior size, strength and brains to fight their way out of their tribal origins and make their way to civilization.

Admittedly, they tend to gravitate towards the mercenary and thief lifestyles, but even so, they admit they prefer to be amongst civilization's comforts than grubbing around in a filthy hole.

Heck, even if hobgoblin + human mostly produces goblins, all it takes is one or two hobgoblins deciding they'd rather have civilizations goodies and getting pregnant from a boytoy to have the start of a civilized goblin tribe, one that is deliberately reared to try and fit in.

Basically, you got "civilized" goblins, who're somewhere between thieves and the urban version of those skanky farmgirls, and you've got "wild" goblins, who're total monsters, if you follow me?

>>55758895

I'd fuck 4, 5, and 2 in that order, if that's what you're asking.

>>55758895
Bottom center.

So, question, with the new "Shadows of Mordor" game coming out that has you actually leading Middle Earth-style orcs/goblins into battle and showing off their "human" side, do you think non-evil orcs & goblins will become more acceptable?

>>55765522
Warcraft made them acceptable years ago. Shadows is a step backwards towards vile badguys archetyoes if anything

This is a thing I wrote some time ago somewhere else. Not how I'd play them in a regular game, mind you.

Goblins are an all-female species that can breed with pretty much anything: humanoids, monsters, animals: you name it. Goblin wolf riders ride their wolves as much as their wolves ride them. They are incredibly stretchy and can take dicks that would normally injure a woman of their size. The nests that come from these unions will always be two to six daughters, more if the father was particularly virile. They are short but absolutely stacked: large breasts capable of feeding even the largest of nests (goblins are always capable of wet nursing each other's children as well) and round, soft asses to cushion the blows of someone pounding them from behind. Goblin tribes are ruled by the broodmothers: the oldest, thickest and most virile of the goblins. Goblins have an innate knack for genealogy and know the lineage of everyone in their tribe and how they relate to one another. Despite that goblins have no problems with nudity or sex it is considered polite to actually have sex in the privacy of your own home. And while goblins have no concept of incest and sisters sometimes sharing a man, lesbianism where the woman does not have a dick is non-existent

Sexual slavery is common amongst the tribes, with all of them owning herds for communal breeding. The poorer ones have only animals like wolves and bears, larger and richer ones have humanoids, monsters and even magical beasts. Fey creatures are especially prized. Prisoners are not treated very well: they are kept in just the right shape to have sex and nothing else. As such, attrition tends to be high and those who can no longer perform are killed and eaten. Anyone in the tribe can have sex with one of these slaves, but a broodmother can designate any of these slaves for their personal use. In practice they rarely have more than one at a time, with two happening for short periods of time.

>>55765695
Because of this goblins are a common target of purges and holy wars by the humanoid communities that live nearby. Goblins frequently capture men of these groups for slavery, which if often met with violence. Goblins prefer asymmetrical warfare, harrying their enemies before disappearing into the woods. This makes them difficult opponents to destroy, especially given that goblins can rapidly break up their camps and move on if they're at risk of being found. In a straight up fight however a goblin can be fierce but is not very powerful, and a sufficiently large armed force that runs into a goblin camp can destroy it rather quickly. In those cases the older goblins fight to cover the retreat of the others into the woods, making sure that their race continues to exist.

When breeding with a humanoid goblins mostly have the regular nests with normal ease (as in: quite easy), but sometimes something different happens. Maybe once in a generation (though for goblins that's a rough five years) they have a different child. Instead of the normal nest a goblin mother will have a single child, larger in size than normal. It's a difficult birth, but goblins are tough and stretchy. Instead of being female these children are always male and look like their father with hints of goblin in them. These are the Princes: the only male goblins. They tend to be more intelligent and inventive than their female kin and are seen as fiercely attractive by all female goblins. This means that a Prince can expect lots of attention and sex from the goblin ladies, but due to some quirk in their biology they breed differently. First, a goblin woman can get pregnant only once from a Prince's seed. Nests that result from this tend to be smaller (around two to six children) and the children are perfectly normal goblins. In the entire history of the race no Prince had a Prince as his father.

>>55765714
However, since goblins tend to quickly lose interest in men who can't knock them up Princes will almost always find themselves ignored after a while. For them this is their cue to pick up their stuff and travel to another tribe where this process repeats itself. Another quirk is that a Prince knocking up a non-goblin woman will have the child be a mix of its mother and paternal grandfather. So if a Prince with a human father knocks up an elven woman the child will be half elf, half human. Because they are constantly on the road Princes tend to be well-versed in the way of the wild as well as that of song, with many Princes becoming Rangers and Bards. A Goblin Prince who breeds with a non-goblin woman will have the child be like the Prince's father and the human mother. No goblin traits, except a slightly higher-than-average sex drive.

Now, all this breeding serves another purpose. While goblins on a whole are not very religious they do respect the stories of their ancestors and those who hold their wisdom. These are the Virgin Mothers, a group of goblin women existing outside of the regular tribal structure. They are seers, leading and protecting their people from the shadows. They gain their name from the fact that Virgin Mothers are recruited from the tribes prior to them becoming of a sexual age and that they do not pursue sex like the others do, two things that make them feared and mistrusted by goblin society as a whole. This, and the fact that Virgin Mothers live a lot longer than normal goblins. If a Virgin Mother does get pregnant she will always have one daughter. After the basics of the child's education the Virgin Mother starts to rapidly age and die on the child's fifth birthday. During a ritual that takes place on this day the new adult gains the knowledge of her mother and all her ancestors, making them extremely knowledgeable. Virgin Mothers know that this will happen once they get pregnant and they're at peace with it. Why?

>>55765733
Because they are looking for the Goblin King.

The Goblin King is a figure of legend and myth, the foretold savior of goblinkind. He will guide his people to safety and prosperity, safe from the machinations of the other races. They say that he can enter a forest at sunrise and walk out of a forest on the other side of the continent at sunset. They say he can have sex with and impregnate an entire tribe of goblins at once. They say that he can give a group of goblin women a child each, but that the children are sisters as if they came from the same mother. They say his dick is unmatched in length and girth, being able to put a woman in a state of constant orgasm that lasts for many hours. They say that he can see all that could be and pick the right future from there to protect his people. Normal goblins see him as a fairy tale, but the Virgin Mothers know that he exists. Or rather, that he is going to. Sometimes they use their powers to see the future to guide goblins onto the path of certain humanoid men or vice versa, knowing that she'll get impregnated. The children from such an union are then monitored; some are guided like their parents were, some are not. Rumor has it that the Princes act as the agents of the Virgin Mothers in such manners, being their eyes and ears in the field and sometimes breeding partners on their own.

Rumor has it that the Virgin Mothers are getting close to finding the Goblin King and bring salvation to their people. But again, many goblins don't believe this and go about with their meaningless sex and breeding, blind to what they could achieve if they put their minds to it.

>>55765684
Really? Because what with the demonstrated ability to earn genuine loyalty from your orcish troops, I wouldn't really call it stepping back into "Always Chaotic Evil".

>>55765748
The average life span of a goblin is around forty years. Goblins are physically and sexually mature at age five, and are able to breed until age 35 or so. After that their sex drive decreases and they start to visibly age more. Princes live twice as long, sometimes reaching a century, while remaining virile and sexually active until right before the end. In theory a goblin could have three nests per two years, but in practice it's about one a year to care for the young. With each pregnancy a goblin's breasts, hips, asses and thighs expand only to deflate a bit after giving birth, but they remain just a bit bigger every time. Milk production goes up with every birth as well, with all sexually mature goblin women being able to lactate. Therefore, thicker goblins have had more nests than thinner ones, and while it can be something of a degree to measure their age it's not absolute.

Some races that take slaves have figured out to keep the goblin slaves apart from the other male prisoners, lest they accidentally end up breeding an army. However, a goblin that is deprived of sex for too long will start to fall ill and waste away, making them high-upkeep slaves. Any significant number of goblin sex slaves kept in one place will eventually draw the attention of the Virgin Mothers, who will send a number of Princes to free them. Goblins don't do well in harems given their nature to compete for the best dicks, with violence breaking out being more of a question of when rather than if. Goblins are difficult to keep as wives as well, given their desire to breed. This means that very quickly you'll have a LOT of children running around that are difficult to all keep fed without them roving through the city/village looking for food and fun. Generally goblins view lesbian sex as a waste of time, and homosexual sex as a waste of perfectly good dick. Women with dicks however are treated as no different than men.

>>55765768
In fact, there is a small group of the Virgin Mothers who believe that the Goblin King is actually a goblin woman with a dick.

In the wild goblins have quite a few predators: any species that would hunt game would go after goblins as well. Even very large birds of prey occasionally snag a goblin or two. Goblins generally are rather blasé
about their kin being eaten like this, even if they try their best to keep themselves safe. But don't hurt the children though: they'll stab you in the dick if you tried. The orc races don't like them either, with meeting between groups from both sides frequently ending in fight. Given the penchant for orcs to rape those they defeat there's always a few bold and foolish goblins who specifically volunteer to patrol in areas known for having orcs. Most of the hunting/scouting parties carry special potions designed to make a man of any species have a long-lasting erection, allowing the goblins to have their way with any potential captives they might get their hands on.

>>55765684
>>55765762

Aren't they basically blue-collar thugs in Shadows when they're not actively obeying the will of an evil god?

cringe

>>55765792
I think so - I literally only just found out about Shadows of Mordor today. All the trailers go on about their ability to form ties of genuine affection and respect; loyal bodyguards who'll give their lives to save you, and blood brothers who will immediately defect if you harm their buddies - try to make two fight to the death, and they'll both tell you to shove it and defect back to Sauron.

Best example of the loyalty system so far as I know are these two trailers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMXHWnMFOi4 - Take the "Save" option on this one to see what I mean about loyalty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLnBUI3ysDk - This one is all about showing off the positive and negative relationships you'll develop with orcs as you befriend and fight them.

>>55765762
I dunno about this genuine loyalty shit, but in the last game You had wraith powers that magically bend them to your will. It involves glowing hands, eyes and much screaming. If they weren't bent to you they were psychotic assholes trying to kill you. They had procedurally generated personalities, but they were all some variety of pricks that you brutally and remorsely killed and/or brainwashed.

So, goblins seem pretty suitable for the merchant/entertainer/inventor niche, and hobgoblins make good soldiers/mercs/amazons, but what possible method is there for civilizing bugbears?

>>55767301
Sure, they can be therapists! Woops damn auto-correct.

They can be the rapists*

>>55767301
They're in a weird spot, since their main traits are being huge (relative to a goblin at least), while also being strong but also somehow really stealthy.

>>55767773
Yeah.... honestly, I think my preferred methodology is just to remove bugbears (who, at best, tend to be basically "the brutes" of the goblinoid family) and let the goblins & hobgoblins cooperate with orcs, who can fill their niche much better.

>>55752274
My Goblins (more accurately, half-goblins) are your modern shortstack Goblin and are the product of human colonists getting freaky with native Goblin savages (which resemble your more classic ugly, twiggy Goblin). Turns out the introduction Human DNA unlocked something in their genes and made the hybrids pretty fucking smart. They pretty much fill the role of "
"short inventor" types
I'd post a pic, but I don't have any attractive techy gobbo pictures.

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Hey what's going on in this thread...

>>55758793

t. Assblasted Anon that can't win an argument with a lolicon.

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>>55756899
>>55759791
It is 100% possible to turn the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition into a perfectly serviceable and lore-friendly Codex of Goblin Law just by altering a few words, such as swapping "klingon" for "orc".

On a sidenote, I think this might be the only non-smut Goblin pic I have...

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>>55769968
What would a formalized Goblin Rules of Acquisition look like?

>>55759092
34-san's goblin girls are HOTT AS FUUUUCK.

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>>55769992
Literally just what I said... Ferengi rules with words swapped.

Here.

>>55758885
>Title of pic
Wait, you mean that isn't just a child?

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>>55769481
*New Challenger: Goblin Slayer Takes the Field!

>>55753547
Love that picture

Can we all ask ourselves a serious question.
Do we really want goblins to be fuckable?
Isn't the joy about goblins are these ugly little crazy fuckers that you can take joy in murdering knowing that they're nothing more but horrible unintelligent hideous thieving blights upon the land?

>>55772215
Eh. I don't see that as terribly useful in itself. I mean, I can just use bandits for that. They can be bandits who happen to be goblins, if you want.

>>55769481
>>55770253
GS would love these goblins though. He wants to eradicate the goblins in his world because they're exaggeratedly evil little fucks for the sake of being evil little fucks. He even acknowledges that if a good goblin somehow came forward he'd be cool with it, he just doubts it would happen and doesn't want to take the chance.

Seeing goblins as nothing more than greedy, playful, or little green cocksleeves would probably make his heart soar.

>>55772215
>Isn't the joy about goblins are these ugly little crazy fuckers that you can take joy in murdering knowing that they're nothing more but horrible unintelligent hideous thieving blights upon the land?

I dunno, some jews are also fuckable

So are Warcraft goblins generally considered the best interpretation of the race?
I've personally never really liked WOTC goblins being the expendable cannon fodder, so I don't mind Izzet and Fiora goblins, but I still wish they fleshed out the several decade-old race a bit more than they have.

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>>55773914
Warcraft goblins are a new standard, yes.

>>55752274
Maybe this is just me, but I see people using goblins as a civilized race (both evil and non-evil) more often.

Having them as a degenerate horde of screaming little monsters would be a nice change of pace for me.

>>55752300
So, can I get a consensus on if the outlined method here is magical realm or not? Nobody ever touched upon it.

I kind of figured it's not, because it keeps all the "icky stuff" of sex in the background, but then, I had this one anon accuse me of magical realmism for mentioning the bar the party was in was run by a human/dwarf couple.

>>55752274
You should read the Stonetellers series by Jean Rabe.

Horde of Goblin slaves essentially overthrow their masters and set out to create their own civilized nation.

>>55774107

I like Wesnoth Goblins. They're the runts of the orcs, at a ratio of like 3:1. Same species, technically, but Goblins are far more numerous, stunted little shits you can throw at an enemy.

>>55753213
I absolutely adore old WC goblins with their explosives obsession. Prior to their Harry Potter gringots themed gold obsession.

>>55773914
I for one hate Warcraft gobbos and any tinker gobbos in general. Taking a very specific character archetype and applying it to a whole race only exacerbates the problem of one-note gimmicky races cluttering up the genre.

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labyrinth goblins are the most cute by far.

They should be all serving a king in their gobling way. But not much sure how to play them beyond that. Which take on goblins would be the closer to that movie?

From my own bestiary (I want them to feel different as kobolds, which are more like funny dogs walking on two legs)
7. Goblins
- Prone to obsession and compulsive behaviors; the most common one being hoarding treasure (to which objective they usually form gangs of thieves and raiders); seconded by learning a job from an elder goblin master and becoming workaholics or mystic hermits (forming their more stable societies); and followed by moonshine, stealing and getting into fights.
- They can see in the dark somehow; their bite is poisonous.
- They craft masterpieces on swords, jewels and other metalwork.

>>55758895
5 > 2 > 4 > 3 > 1 > Jewpsy

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Reminder that quirky goblin inventors were around before warcraft.

>>55774650
In my mind, hoarding treasure is more of a draconic kobold thing that they copy from dragons.

>>55773914
Warhammer and pre-cata Warcraft goblins are best.
Savage, but goofy goblins mid tier.
Savage but not goofy low tier.
Post cata WoW goblins shit tier.

>>55777176
What's the difference between pre-Cata and post-Cata?

>>55777456
Suicidal Mobsters to Gangsters.

>>55773506
kek

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>>55777762
I find it neat how goblins were able to become shamans. A shaman is all about working with the elements and spirits and letting their power course through you, not wielding your own power. You can only wield the power of the elements and spirits if they trust you or you otherwise come to an agreement with them.

If anyone knows how to negotiate a contract, it's a goblin.

>Goblin shaman are an extension of their society's single-minded devotion to making a profit; to a goblin shaman, elementals are potential customers. Goblins do tend to be a bit more forceful in their negotiations than the other shamanic races (especially the tauren) would like, though they are far less forceful than what we've seen from the taunka in Northrend. (Unless the elemental tries to weasel out of its contract. Elementals tend not to have breakable knees, so goblins sometimes have to resort to other methods of control.) As for the goblins' "mechanical" totems, note that these are merely physical manifestations of the small totems they tinker/craft to form a link with the elemental spirits. Instead of lugging around large totems, goblin shaman have a ring (probably the same ring on which they keep their house and motorbike keys) with small totems they've built as conduits for the elemental spirits they do business with.

>>55778731
I like it for any other setting than WoW. It was an asspull then, and it is now.

>>55778829
It always made sense to me. Shamanism is dealing with spirits and elementals, and goblins are known wheelers and dealers. Heck, my gobbo WoW character was a shaman.

>>55778879
WoW Shamans were servants / had to ask for help from the elements. Which usually obliged since the world is about to end on a daily basis. Then Gobins come around and just offer them... what? In exchange? A contract works both ways.

I'm just salty new Shamans don't have to do the water totem quest.

>>55778999
>you

Orc + Elf = Goblin
Dwarf + Elf = Gnome

Can we agree on this?

>>55779422
Nah.

Halfling matches Human
Goblin matches Orc
Gnome matches Elf
Dwarf matches Giant

>>55779080
WoW shamans arn't servants or have to ask or anything, WoW shamans and elementals are one-time business companions.

>>55752453
Did you fuck?

>>55752274
You only find female goblins in civilized areas because the common goblin "tribes" adventurers encounter are the results of goblin civilization exiling criminals, the mentally ill, and the socially useless with callous disregard, both to the individual as well as whatever foreign town gets burdened by their presence instead.

>>55778999
Trips don't lie, get your shit in order degenerates

>>55752274
10/10 would adventure for

>>55765733
>>55765748
So it's CoC + Labyrinth + Dune. I can dig it.

>>55773914
>Izzet and Fiora
This underage lil nigga doesn't know about Mercadia.

Sad.

>>55780777
>tfw no more distinct Engineering Paths

>>55778999
Nah mate; I just love short thick women.

>>55782910
I don't think anyone outside of Kenkou Cross and his loli-obsessed MGE prefers goblin MGs to be lolis over shortstacks.

I gotta say, I'm surprised at the sheer amount of love presented for goblins in this thread. Even more so because the vast majority of it seems to be platonic and not monstergirl fetish fuel.

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>>55772670
The goblins in Goblin Slayer are pretty much the mirror image of the cute shortstacky female only race that needs other humanoids to reproduce, there they are all male and capture and use human woman as sex slaves/baby factories and are ball to the wall evil creatures.

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>>55758885
That is actually pretty cute.
I'm a noob about goblins, in what setting do they look like this?

>>55756665
4e dwarves were baller.
The men were badass hardcases to a man, the women thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal and had no problems showing it.

>>55785581
Tell me about it; 4e was the first edition where attractive dwarves were a thing. I really dug the design philosophies they put in, like the whole focus on geometric symbols in their decorations.

>>55787019
This, too.
Dwarves had specific cultural motes that were shown in their aesthetic.

with all this art here I have one thing to say about it...


DANGIT RUMMY!

>>55787019
My first Dwarf Waifu was the NPC henchdwarf from Shadows of Undrentide, Dorna Trapspringer.

>>55785015
I dunno what thread you're in, but I'm seeing mostly fetish bait love here

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>>55752300
>>55752274
>>55753756
>>55753968
>>55754791
>>55754849
>>55758526
>mfw


>>55758895
4>3>All the rest.

>>55788660
Sauce? Reverse image search gives me nothing.

>>55789368
try the image search tab, click the second one. boom.

>trying to find some good goblin art on tumblr
>bombarded with some korean shit

god fucking dammit

>>55759826
Agreed. Harpies should keep virile males as sperm banks and eat those who isn't virile.

anybody got a link to the archive of every piece of goblin smut ever written

I like my goblins like the ones in Moria in the LotR.

>>55765695
>No green shortstack lady-lovers in a massively sex-happy culture

You make me sad.

>>55774209
Ya need gold to pay for the stuff you need to make the stuff that goes boom, anon!

>>55778731
This is why I roll goblin warlock.

A deal with a devil is peanuts compared to a deal with a goblin.

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>not talking about Domesticated Goblins
What the actual fuck is going on in this thread? This is how you have goblins be a part of respectable society:
http://archived.moe/tg/thread/39789477/
http://archived.moe/tg/thread/39940041/
https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/47861753/

>And here you can see our prize Mendhavian show goblin
>See the way the ears have been extended out and clearly reflect her mood
>From the current angle you can tell at a glance she's quite happy - like many show goblins she enjoys being put on display
>The noise retains the characteristic oversized quality but has been softened somewhat from the base stock
>The teeth are - open up, dear - bright and neatly arranged - you can close now - with the canines just barely visible with the mouth closed. The breed is prone to minor sores on the lower lip, but a few dabs of healing potion can take care of the problem
>You can see the slim waist, wide hips, and fair skin. Mendhavians do have to be kept on a strict exercise regimen, as left to their own devices they tend to overeat and develop a bit of flab

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>>55761580

>>55795530
If goblins could be domesticated, then the High Elven civilization would not have fallen.

>>55795681
>implying High Elves are tolerant enough of inferior races to take the time to enslave them
>implying it wasn't the ingenuity and tenacity of the human master race to finally domesticate the green vermin
There's a reason why all remaining elves are half-human sex slaves. It's because all they're good for is sucking cock.

>>55789919
No, it didn't. I literally just said it didn't.

>>55795530
This conceptually disturbs me

>>55795862
https://iqdb.org/?url=https:thumbs/1507605799504.gif
Here you go, retard.

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>>55756757

>>55752274

Virtually every steampunk setting I know of has goblins as a crazy or unhinged gnome engineer analog.

>>55752274

I would, even with the man hands. Like, whoah those hands.

>>55796342
Tinkerer goblins are garbage-tier.

>>55795530
I actually had a similar thing with Elves and Humans. It was disguised as mentorships with a gala for graduation. The humans didn't know it was breeding, grooming and a dog show.

>>55795896
Slavery should. This is fucked up.

>>55752300
>liking Fenoxoshit

So, figuring this query is kind of on-topic: is it even possible to mention NPCs being pregnant in passing, or is that inherently magical realm?

>>55798464
There is nothing taboo about pregnancy. A character saying his wife is home and with child shouldn't be taken as something nasty.

>>55798464
Do you feel it's magical realm when you walk past a pregnant woman on the street? There's literally nothing unusual or overtly sexual about a woman happening to be pregnant, especially if she's married or at least implied to be in a steady relationship.

>>55798464
Mentioning a person as pregnant is not magical realm. Mentioning how they held hands while he pounded her gently with the lights on is.

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>>55798734
>they held hands while he pounded her gently with the lights on

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>>55798734
>with the lights on

>>55785519
Webcomic. Phoebe and Her Unicorn.

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>>55798732
Could be a primitive ape instinct, kinda like a flipped version of the "women find men that are on a relationship more attractive" thing.
Even if you don't want kids, your selfish genes do want them and a pregnant women is at least partially showing that she is capable of reproduction. Like most things in life, it is mere steps away from turning into magic realm for someone.

That's why traps are better, they betray the selfish genes into wanting to fuck someone who will never get pregnant.

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>>55800009
>traps are better

>>55752300
DM did a fucked up (imo) version of "goblins" which can crossbreed with near enough any animal, and lead to a blending of species if allowed unchecked. They're not evil, but the assumption is that eventually the only animals left on the planet would be half-goblin and half-everything else blended together, given enough time. Like if you're a farmer, you'd know you've got a goblin problem because you'd be getting half-goblin wolves attacking your livestock, and before long your livestock will start putting out half-goblin cows, horses, etc...

It was just a detail of the setting but the game took place in a fairly advanced stage of the problem, to where areas left unchecked, all the animals of the wilds were part-goblin and even in civilized areas were choked with tons of goblins and people kept them as workers and servants and already a fair amount of part-goblin humans and other humanoid races. I think the grim assumption was that, given say, another century or so, that area and city the game was taking place in, would succumb to the problem.

>>55779639
That's dumb. One of the most important parts of shamanism in Warcraft was "never consume more than you need, do everything in moderation", which is the complete antithesis of what goblins are about. It gets stressed so many times, both in quests and novels.

Frankly, the whole Horde should have lost their connection to the elements after what the goblins did to Azshara.

>>55800222
I'm sure the elements and spirits work with shamans on a case-by-case basis.

>>55800269
They don't. It's a long-term relationship, and they'll drop your ass like a mouldy sandwich if you don't follow the rules. Which goblins NEVER do.

>>55800330
Don't forget that dark shamans are a thing. The typical goblin isn't as severe as them, but you CAN browbeat the elements into service. They're not going to like it, but you can do it.

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>>55800330
>they'll drop your ass like a mouldy sandwich if you don't follow the rules. Which goblins NEVER do.
Which is precisely why I love Gobbos. Irreverent and impudent.

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>>55800376
Dark shamans are... iffy. Pretty much the only time we see them is in relation to Old God stuff, and the Old Gods used to rule the elementals back in the day. The exception is the taunka, but taunka are inconsistent as fuck.

>>55800378
Sure, I'm not saying Warcraft goblins are bad (although the Cataclysm versions are rather too LOLWACKY for my tastes), but they're inherently unfit as shamans, in the same way dark eldar are unfit as Sisters of Battle.

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>>55795530
This has great non-lewd potential.
Think about all the object carriers, disposable henchmen and equipment operators. You could have an entire dungeonpunk setting with minimal magic by having all the moving parts be operated by goblins.

I'm so fucking sick and tired of all you retards that can't keep it in your pants in every single /tg/ thread.
I wish nazimod was back.

>>55800797
Would you rather they be shitting up people's games?

>>55800743
>You could have an entire dungeonpunk setting with minimal magic by having all the moving parts
I don't want the goblin unions on my ass again.

>>55800851
These are supposed to be specifically bred animals that exist just for one purpose. Even if the centuries of artificial selection has kept them smart enough to unionize the power structure that made it possible will probably not.

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not seeing this fine pic posted often makes me sad.

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>>55800743
I'm more interested in the post-apocalypse where only the goblins survived and the wildly diverging kinds of people must now make their place in the world and use their specific talents to create tribes and societies.
Like, remember hollow knight? The characters in that world are all of wildly different sizes and body shapes and somehow they make do, alternating between seeing each other as prey and predator or intelligent beings to parlay with. Plus, that story also takes place in a sort of post-apocalypse.
Basically I'm playing hollow knight right now and I'm inserting it into the conversation.

>>55800831
At least there we wouldn't have to read about it

>>55800923
Ethical considerations aside, selectively breeding a slave race to turn my grain mill sounds a bit preposterous.
>the power structure that made it possible will probably not.
I would cite historical labor unions as precedent for why this wouldn't work.

>>55801129
I mean, you have special sheepherding dogs, hunting dogs for different kinds of game, dogs that guard and dogs that fight bears. The same concept applies, if the symbiotic relationship already exists then the role of branches of goblins becoming more sharply defined with the professions of their owners is a natural process.

some ideas I've had for Goblins:

they have a matriarchal society because females are born less often. This is biological, abundant resources trigger the hormones a mother needs to develop female offspring.

Shorter reproductive cycle, but not 'breeding like bunnies and having huge litters' short. Like 6 months or so. Twins are as common as not and triplets aren't rare but no more than that usually. Average lifespan is a max age of about 50-60 years assuming perfect health.

Their survival strategy is strongly based on tribal and familial cooperation, which is why they produce more males when resources are scarce.
The males are stronger and reach maturity quickly, but are subservient to goblin females because of both social conditioning and biological impulse. Female goblins trigger a protective, nurturing impulse in the male brains.

It's very common for goblin females to practice polyandry with each husband taking an equal role as her offspring's father. Mainly because there aren't as many females and also I don't go in for that rape crazed cross breeding shit.

When a goblin male marries into a family, he appends the female tribe name onto his own and all the children use the mothers tribe name following matrilineal descent.
Marriage for goblins is more like the male accepting an invitation to live with this female's family instead of his previous family, and divorce is as easy as the male deciding to leave or the female leaving his shit on the curb. Goblin love isn't the same as human love at all however, and heartbreak is rare.

Goblin tribes that live in cities are often hired to do menial gross tasks like cleaning latrines and maintaining sewers because they are more resistant to disease. This leads to the incorrect assumption that goblins are filthy, however they do not keep their homes any less clean than an average citizen.

>>55801129
>>55801200
Basically you don't breed a millstone goblin yourself, your family has been millers tot generations and has consistently kept the goblins that were most suitable for milling work.

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>>55752274
>>55752300
>>55752453
>>55753174
>>55753213
>>55753728
>>55753756
>>55754594
>>55756820
>>55757609
>>55758526
>>55758809
>>55758819
>>55758861
>>55769968
>>55769992
>>55771340
>>55770704
>>55774092
>>55778209
>>55778731
>>55780777
>>55795511
>>55795530
>>55800378
>>55800533
>>55801015
trash get some taste

>>55758895
>>55759093
>>55775825
>>55781105
good you're okay

>>55774641
>>55800743
great

>>55802455
Anon you posted a picture of a kobold

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What is the difference between these mini humanoid things?
Goblins, Gremlins, Gnomes?

>>55802455
Stop fighting anon, the perverts have already out-bred us

>>55758895
Any and all honestly.

>>55804194
well gnomes arent green, and gremlins have fur on at least some of their body

>>55800533
Taunka are more ...Drill Sergeant shaman.

>>55804194
Goblin: small, green, most commonly found in deep wildernesses and caverns. Closely related to the orcs, to the point of possibly being a subspecies. Generally unpleasant and anarchic in their societies, more loose associations based on a common need.

Gremlin: trickster being who delights in tampering with machinery, the more complex the better. Highly variable appearance, ranging from nearly identical to a goblin to stout, hairy and vaguely apelike. Bane of artificers the world over, save the select few who know how to appease them.

Gnome: short, stocky earth elemental most commonly associated with the Seelie Fae. Look very human, universally male (if female gnomes exist, they either look like males or nobody's seen one). Harmless if left alone, but disturb one's dwelling and risk the consequences.

>>55752407
>get that out of your system in a healthy way rather than repressing it.
I'm not entirely sure a bunch of dudes roleplaying their fetishes over the internet while whacking it is the healthy solution.

>>55761622
This is cool. This I like.

>>55768121
Just separate bugbears from goblins and hobgoblins. Them being part of the goblinoid family is largely just a dnd thing anyways. They can lose a bit of their intelligence and to being the weird forest creatures that kidnap villagers and attack adventurers.

>>55808334
Maybe not, but it's the solution we have.

>>55800000

>>55811510
>caring about gets

>>55800743
This is a 10/10 idea. Having a ubiquitous slave-race really injects some 'punk' into the equation too.

>>55801055
>>55800743
>>55801200
>>55801780
So you'd have goblins, hobgoblins, bugbears, maybe even orcs as different, broad categories of breeds, with countless sub-breeds in each category. You know, the way Shepherd breeds all tend to have similar traits, but minor divergences within them. Also, lap goblins.

This could apply pretty well to the countless sub-breeds of elves too, but whereas humans are the ones who domesticated goblins, you'd probably have elf breeds be the creation of the gods. You know, Wood, High, Dark, and Chocolate.

That way the pattern is reflected both low and high, keeping the setting thematically consistent.

>>55811567
>not caring about gets

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>>55813476
Have countless different kinds of goblins, so many that it's hard to keep track of and a new kind could prop up at any moment.
Big-arms, smallfry, pushers, carriers. Too many to come up with meaningful categories.

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>>55808297
>Gnome: universally male (if female gnomes exist, they either look like males or nobody's seen one)
Sometimes it is a good thing to strive away from the source of the legends, you know, for the sake of narrative and plot.

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>>55806432
>>55808297
Thanks.
I get them mixed up all the time since all I have is a very vague idea of what an Ork is and that's it.

>>55814409
Not with gnomes. The classic elemental version of them is the only tolerable one.

>>55814779
its boring and unsexy

>>55814563
Sauce? Besides Incase, I mean

>>55814779
Even then just barely. I fucking hate gnomes so god damn much.

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>>55814007
Nice pic, I like the frog

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How do we fix Goblins?

>>55804194
Gremlins are fey creatures that love to mess with machinery.

>>55814409
>dayuuuum

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>>55818203
Fix?

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>>55752274
>have you ever seen them used as a civilized race? Or, at least something other than generic evil monsters to slay without mercy?

Yes. Pic related - Malifaux Gremlins are backwoods hicks, but pretty humanlike in general, with a preference for pork, and a dislike for things poking their noses in their bayou.

I've seen them used in other game campaigns as low rent barbarians and villagers, and split between city goblins and wild goblins. City goblins functioned as street rats and orphans in mixed cities, and as low level villagers and tinkerers on their own. They were capable of making money, holding a conversation and not shanking everything in sight. They'd be Chaotic Good to Lawful Evil. Wild Gobbos were Chaotic Evil or Neutral, depending on who you talked to, since nobody was sure if they were evil barbarians or just totally feral.

Personally, I like taking the 'cannon fodder' races and doing something interesting with them. For a monster campaign, my group rolled multiple kobolds and we brainstormed a whole society and set of assumptions that kobolds would have. 'Purely evil cannon fodder' is boring.

>Are they not the favored shortstack race of /tg/?
I think /tg/ favors dorfs and halflings (LIDDA), though goblins aren't far behind.

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>>55821033
This thread is really selling me on Gremlins as interesting monster PCs and NPCs.
I feel like GMs rarely use the many different humanoids that could live in towns and cities, it's mostly just humans and the Tolkien tokens.

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>>55821770
Malifaux's Gremlins are probably my favorite sort of take on goblin/gremlin civliization. They're not dumb, but they're much better at copying than innovating, and the usual gremlin is a hick of the 'hold my beer and watch this' variety, so lots of them end up killing themselves in shows of bravado. They've got a civ, even if a lot of their best leaders are aping more successful humans.

I try to treat my D&D cannon fodder in the same way. Goblins are smart, but downtrodden because of their small size. They tend toward borderline barbarian tribes and raiders because they can't settle down or someone bigger pushes them around - orcs, hobgoblins, humans. Even halflings and kobolds are usually able to run gobbos off because they have better established settlements and more resources.

Goblins in my campaigns tend toward primal or divine power sources, because they haven't the pure strength or metalworking prowess to be martial powerhouses, nor the learning and research apparatuses to be arcane researchers. They actually make pretty decent druids and shamans, but the tribes that get really good at don't get found by most other peoples in the first place.

Also, elves tend to have massive hateboners for goblins, because elves are of the 'I must tend this massive oak like a bonsai tree over centuries, and woebetide the fool who attempts to cut it down.' sort of nature lovers, while goblins are more 'Go hack some branches off of that Oak, it's healthy enough to spare some and we need more spear hafts. Remember to plant the acorns after you're done.' They're crude and savage while also being earthy and folksy.

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>>55822568
I like Goblins that maintain a modicum of dignity as intelligent beings instead of accepting lives as fodder for other races.

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All of this shit is great and all, but what I really want is goblins in Shadowrun. Shadowrun's got orks and trolls on one side, elves and dwarves on the other. Something dwarf-sized but on the goblinoid side of the equation would be nifty - make them the Agility/Reaction metatype on that side of things, as opposed to dwarves' ork-lite.

Y'all get where I'm coming from on this?

>>55824071

You like short girls with big ears and sharp teeth?

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>>55821033
>>55822568
Malifaux gremlins are best gobos.

>>55753742

What's your image from?

>>55824071
All the metahumans have regional variations. Gnomes are a kind of dwarf variant found in turkey, fomori are a troll variant from ireland, etc. I'm sure there's a goblin variant of one of the metahumans out there somewhere.

>>55824331
You don't?

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>>55804194
Hey kid, wanna know about Arcanum gnomes?

There's a conspiracy you have to beli

>>55804194
Goblin:
1. A house spirit that likes mischief but can be helpful.
2. Ugly small creature, most often chaotic, usually evil, often depicted as green big-eared midget

Gnome
1. An elemental of Earth
2. see Dwarf
3. Small cute creature, most often good, sometimes chaotic, often depicted as a tiny midget with a beard

Gremlin
1. A spirit who likes to break and spoil things.
2. A small creature, usually ugly-cute, most often chaotic neutral or evil, with no uniform depiction.
3. This cutie from Malifaux you have on your pic.

>>55804194
>goblins
Unseelie.

>gnomes
Seelie.

>gremlins
20th century.

>>55825068
Sauce?

Lads I need an embarrassing cute nickname for a goblin for some writing shit but all I have are slurs pls help

>>55832878
Racially, there's not a lot of options you've got outside of "bean" or "grass-stain". Might help if you gave us the racial or personal characteristics - it'd be some clue what she(?) could be teased about.

>>55832878
We need more info, are we talking bog standard fantasy goblin and is it male or female?

>>55833023
>>55832993
Female standard WoW type gobbo

>>55833032
If it's literally WoW I'd look at Jersey Shore for names, but assuming you mean the greedy mad tinker type and this is supposed to be an affectionate nickname given by a parent or lover I'd probably go with something like Sweet Pea, Peanut, Bitsy, Fun Size, Cuddle Bug, Dumplin, Jelly Bean... basically something small and saccharine, ending with an ie or y for extra points.

>>55832993
>>55833023
Female firebug type that got adopted by human bandits and raised in that culture as a kind of mascot

>>55833032
In that case...
"Grease-monkey"
"Gear-head"
"Crank-shaft"
"Squeaky"
"Coaster"
"Squealer"
"Gear-strip"

>>55833168
"Sparky"
"Matchstick"
"Lil' Devil"
"Twitchy"
"Sparky"
"Toaster"

>>55833168
Firebug is an obvious option, cute but not that embarrassing. Any other notable features? Hair color? Scars? Body shape? Personality quirks? Funny name?

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>>55833155
>Fun Size

>>55833207
so she's armed to the teeth with firearms and explosives, a fashion sense like a poor person who won the lottery - lots of gold and really trashy. Personality wise she's ambitious, she wants a criminal empire, money and fame.

>>55833155
Kek. "Fun Size" must be the most demeaning nickname conceivable. Replace that with "Lucky Bunz".

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>>55752274
Sure, I've got a setting with civilized goblins. While condensing my excessively long list of playable races I combined goblins and rat men since their concepts mesh so well. As a result wild goblins are hairy, malnourished things with long tufted tails and oversized extremities making them look a bit like a cortical homunculus. Domestic goblins are the result of a few particularly bright clans taking humans up on their offer to move into their cities during the Great Unification of Frederiech the Wise. While they were correct in believing city life to be safer than squatting in dank caves and dark forests trying not to get eaten they didn't expect to be relegated to some of the lowliest work and poorest slums. Those early days saw goblins working as stable cleaners, trash collectors, sewer workers, and other less legal work. Some of the more conventionally attractive goblins were able to find better-than-average paying work as cheap exotic draws in brothels which put them on the path to their current status as status symbols.
(cont.)

>>55834341
Goblins are an extremely reproductively potent race with no downtime between pregnancies that often produce multiple young and males that can potentially breed over a dozen times in quick succession with little loss of potency. This is great for replenishing a devastated clan after war, plague or other disaster but in times of relative plenty the relatively rare females choose a council of matriarchs from their most successful members who then choose a council of patriarchs from the most successful males - these two councils are responsible for mating with one another indiscriminately to produce the next generation of young, elect a representative to handle Goblin political interests, and replace any members that get too old or are out-competed by young up and comers. Over a few centuries of this the best bred goblins gradually changed to be more palatable to humans as each generation climbed the social ladder from cheap whores to exotic whores to luxury whores and finally breaking into more legitimate work as maids, assistants, and other hangers-on for wealthy (often human) nobles that came to see having the rarest, most beautiful goblins on retainer as a symbol of wealth, especially if they could do tricks like reading or speaking without a goblin accent. There was even a brief fad of altering one's goblin with fleshweaving magic to have an unusual trait like buck teeth or rounded ears to mark them as family "owned" until demihuman rights groups intervened and pointed out that fleshweaving alterations can be passed on so they'd be meaningless after one generation.

>>55834351
However not all goblins are as lucky as those proudly displayed in storefronts and noble homes, some are bound to lose the genetic lottery and others are the product of unsanctioned breeding - goblins are sapient creatures after all and though they're not monogamous sometimes younglings get romantic notions or simply have a lapse in judgement. Unlike "Fancy" goblins with their fair, hairless green skin, thick bodies, and nearly human features these so-called Gutter goblins are lean, dark, and hairy like better-fed versions of their wild kin. These unfortunates still get the worst jobs, are responsible for the most crimes, and are generally considered the lowest rung of society.

>>55834019
If she's really that trashy I'd call her Snooki

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>>55834351
>especially if they could do tricks like reading or speaking without a goblin accent.
Now I'm imagining female goblins speaking with the inflection of an old southern slave woman.

God, this thread is giving me the heebie geebies.

>>55824071
Goblins in Shadowrun are Dwarves with magic AIDS. They lose all hair and body fat, and most of them become extremely animalistic, to the point where their intelligence compares unfavorably to great apes. They're also cannibalistic and contagious.