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Also I finished my forst dred for my 1k points army.

Late night bump because I'm sure everyone was asleep when this went up.

From the last thread:

Well, to everyone involved in the Siege of Terra and the Battle of New Hope:

Start Writefagging.

The Siege has already a skeleton. Info can be found here
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZCEI6mv0mz6KWJMmx-KgxZtLXTx3j10360r8CiDF4YA/edit?usp=sharing
There's some writefagging by me that can be used as skeleton. There are things, like wide coverage and Legion involving, that must be modified, and the best way is to have people writing about their Legions. Let's try to avoid contradictions. Any doubts, hit people up.

The Battle of New Hope
Info here.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X2jZeTO5WL_Pp6OulDoy53PlN4nPX8vn75agLvy6RSU/edit?usp=sharing
We don't have much of it yet. Gotta fill it up. I think that the best approach is to have the Warmasters write a little about it, then the rest should catch up.

Kane said he added the Lambach and Linares Vs. DPrimarch Kane to the Siege doc.

Fourth for the IVth Legion, the Silver Blades!

>>55315801
I think that Ashur is there too, Je'she is fighting him as a Daemon Primarch. We also are not exactly sure what Elsu and Isekho are doing at the time but we probably should find a role for them either at Terra or supporting it. They are supporters of 1 of the big 4 though so they'd probably be there.

>>55315933
They should. Otherwise, the Traitors would be terribly outnumbered. Feel free to modify the doc and add them

Also, I read Kane's piece. It's good, definitely will work. Just noticed a contradiction with my writing. Kane says the Gunslingers are retreating after Kane's "death", but I sat that they are invigorated by the death of Raj. They may or may not be mutually exclusive. I placed a commentary in the doc for discussion or at least notice.

>>55307161
Not sure how I feel about him doing it twice....

>>55312472
Sick dreads, brah

>>55315933
I see no reason why not all the Traitors would be there, barring Mot.

Hey Emil, we read through your story in discord.
Here are a few options that a few of us thought of. Only minor edits really but for the most part your story was fine.

>Planet's name is New Hope
>Solomon's attack on Mot should be brought up and raise tensions, Solomon is considered pro-Mortal, Mot is considered to be pro-Astartes.
>Marduk doesn't have to show up, he just let's both sides figure out what happened after Malcador's ship translates into system. He is buying his time for the right time to strike. He does make Planet fall later, after fighting has started.
>Malcador's ship doesn't have to blow up, Daemon Prince Elsu could kill him.
>Ship crashing and those on New Hope investigating seems fitting.
>Frederick has been renamed to Jon-Frederic or just Frederic.
> Fred didn't want to start a civil war at all he just wanted to gain enough of a backing o swing votes in his favor.

These are just a few things that might have slipped under your nose while you were on break though. great piece otherwise, putting the list here though so you don't have to scroll through discord.

-Planet Nemir II, Neutral Ground-

Many are the planets which escape notice by the powers that be. Lacking in resources, devoid of useful manpower, occupying no strategic location, some are nevertheless inhabitable and support human life. Too close to its parent star for comfort and largely empty desert, Nemir II was just such a world. But the course of history is winding and endlessly complex, and on rare occasions a planet is thrust to the forefront, the hub upon which the galaxy might spin for a moment or two. Nemir II was also such a place.

Primarch Frederick, Imperial Primarch and gene-sire of the Dragoons Triumphant, was the first to set foot upon the White Blight's crumbling, salt-laden soil. In more abundant eras long past, this was a mighty ocean, a shallow sea filled with warmth and life from which huge aquaculture farms produced enough food for the entire sector. Old Night was not kind to this world, and now only the titanic rusting skeletons of mighty industrial complexes now protruded from the endless salt flat, reflecting blinding white in the harsh sun overhead.
As Frederick's enhanced eyes adjusted to the glare, he caught sight of his opposite number advancing across the limitless plain. Equally imposing, equally regal, equally assured of his own authority and capabilities, Primarch Je'She, lord and master of the Sentinels approached his brother. Though both Primarchs knew they were observed by hundreds of watchful eyes electronic and organic alike, they had chosen to meet without retainers or bodyguards to interfere. Both represented factions which even now threatened to crack the Imperium asunder following the Emperor's untimely injuries and absence, and dozens of Imperial warships waited in orbit even now for word from below. The mighty Imperial war machine could not long endure a conflict of leadership, and wise Malcador at last arranged this meeting in a final attempt at reconciliation.

>>55316830
Je'She spoke first, striding forward to embrace his brother. “It has been too long since we met face to face, Frederick. I am glad that you have come. Rumors are flying across the galaxy faster than starships could ever hope to catch, eh? The Legions are restless, and the Great Crusade is suffering for lack of direction. I know... harsh words were spoken on Ullanor. Some of which were my fault. All of us were scarred when Father took those wounds, and all of us lashed out inappropriately. I accused you of arrogance and greed for leadership.”
“And I decried you as an idealist who would rather sit on his heels and lick the Imperium's wounds rather than take vengeance on the Ork species for their insult to humanity. I remember it well, brother”, interjected Frederick. “And I still believe that, for you have let yourself and your warriors stay on the back foot since Ullanor.”

>>55316841
Je'She narrowed his eyes with momentary anger. “And your forces certainly did advance, Frederick, I cannot dispute this. But for all your gifts tell me, how many men have you lost because of communication errors? How many Astartes have been claimed by pointless attrition that should have lived to fight another day? It is no crime to put one's house in order after tragedy!”
For a moment, Frederick grew shamefaced. He took a deep breath of hot desert air, reveling in its simple harshness. “Yes, that is true. Honor cannot go unanswered. But it does indeed come at a price. I am unused to your way of doing things. And you to mine. In hindsight, it is small wonder friction grew between us and our men. Neither offense nor defense shall carry the day alone. The Imperium needs your talents and mine, and surely Malcador will have the words to make that happen. I think you and I see eye to eye, or close enough to suit the Crusade's needs. But calming the two camps is more than you and I can accomplish alone.”

Je'She broke into a broad smile, teeth gleaming as white as the salt flats surrounding the Primarchs. “Yes, exactly! You cannot imagine how glad my heart is to hear you say that. I am an idealist, certainly. But that also means I believe you and I can solve this problem for the good of all.”
“How shall we do it then, Je'She?”

>>55316848
“Hold a moment, Frederick. I think I see Marduk's party approaching. Before we discuss specifics, he and Malcador will surely need time to speak.”

Frederick touched his hand to his collar, tapping into his Legion's comm-circuits as an insistent buzzing alert came through on priority channels. “Something's wrong, Je'She. I can't make out what's happened, but the fleets are on high alert. Comms are being jammed...”

“Yes. Look, Frederick... Marduk's alone. Malcador's not with him.”

Both Primarchs stood silently as a third giant approached, clad in armor grey as a storm-tossed sea. As Marduk, lord of the Leviathan Host crossed the salt pan, both Frederick and Je'She could see tears slowly dripping down from blue-green eyes. They evaporated in the heat, leaving tiny salt trails behind.

“I bring grave tidings, brothers. There is no easy way to say this but... Malcador is dead.” Both Je'She and Frederick let out an audible gasp of shock and dismay as Marduk continued to speak. “He did not die in honorable combat, but as a civilian trapped in a warzone. It was not a good death, and he had no chance to defend himself. Unknown saboteurs broke into the Barchamos' enginarium and overloaded the plasma reactor. Within moments the ship was filled with fire and overloading components from uncontrolled power surges. The ship was engulfed completely, and only a handful of the watch on duty managed to get to the escape pods before the Barchamos exploded mid-Warp.”
Frederick's expression was unreadable, flickering between grim acceptance and seething rage. Je'She looked as if he wanted to throw up, his face several shades paler than usual.

>>55316858

“That is not all, brothers. The worst news is this. When the survivors reported for debriefing, some claimed it was a Dragoon they saw roaming restricted areas. And others swore upon the Emperor's name that a Sentinel did the foul deed. Both have been psy-probed. And both believe absolutely that they speak only truth. All will attest to this, and my own Legion's psykers have independently confirmed as much. I do not want to believe either of you capable of such treachery. Yet here we are. I know not which Legion acted under cloak of night, yet Malcador is indisputably deceased and I cannot guess why.”

Je'She was the first to speak. “Tell me it wasn't you, Frederick. I know Malcador was never one to approve of precipitous action. I know he would not have approved of you further damaging the Imperium after we took such wounds at Ullanor. But tell me, tell me by the honor of the blood we share and the blood we have spilled together, tell me you did not silence Malcador for fear he would put a collar around your throat. Tell me it was another whose hand did the deed.”

>>55316862
Frederick spoke as coldly as the void between worlds. “So much for your idealism, eh? Something suspicious takes place and you assume the worst? I will not tell you any such thing, because you should know better. My honor is unimpeachable and untarnished, as is my Legion's. You throw the blame at my feet yet pretend you want to believe me innocent. How do I know it wasn't one of your people who destroyed the Barchamos! You're so afraid that I might seize the initiative from your laggard Legion and force them to measure up to proper Astartes standards, maybe it was YOU who ordered Malcador's death, so that we would have yet another tragic death to still the Imperium's blood and keep it sitting on its hands until I suffocated from idleness! And you stand before me wringing your hands like a schoolboy, playing the part of aggrieved mourner perfectly. What would I possibly have to gain by killing Malcador! Without him, the Crusade stands on ever more uncertain footing! The solution to any mystery is simple, and this is no mystery! The only one who benefits from Malcador's absence... is you, Je'She!”
Je'She's face fell in shock, and he stumbled back a pace under the weight of Frederick's accusations. “Bastard... You cannot possibly be this arrogant. Claiming that my Legion runs and hides while yours sallies forth oh so nobly. You think I came here with false face, that I delivered an irreparable blow to us all, just so that I could buy my Legion some R&R? Just because I urge caution doesn't mean I advocate coddling my men! You were reckless on Ullanor and you are reckless now! Of course I should lead the Imperium! Lead it in the Emperor's name, in his stead until he recovered as Malcador would have! As a steward not a usurper! You will burn the Imperium to ashes even as it reaches forward for just one more world to fly our banner! To fly YOUR banner!”

>>55316870
Frederick laughed spitefully, voice dripping with malice. “And there it is at last. The sheep sheds his wool to reveal the wolf inside... I always suspected you felt you knew what was best for us all, Je'She. Idealists always do. And when times grow tumultuous, idealists always seek to impose their ways upon others. So sure of themselves. So convinced they hold all the keys. The moral high ground is a drug more addictive than any other. How does it feel? No, I will not yield to you, Je'She. Perhaps I am as reckless as you say, but I do not let emotion blind me to the needs of the moment. To the truth. I shall lead the Imperium, and no other! You lack the clarity we need to see us through hard times. I was born to rule, here just as on my home planet. Even the Emperor recognized this!”
The sparking hum of a teleporter surrounded Je'She as his orbiting flagship recalled the Primarch home. Even now, voidcraft left their docking bays and macrocannons began loading their armaments. The waiting Legions had observed all which transpired below, and cogitators blazed with ever more hateful rhetoric between the two sides, latching on to every nuance of the two Primarchs' words for ammunition to hurl at each other. Long-simmering grievances burst into the open, and every insult was fair game. Any hope of calming the warhosts vanished like water in Nemir II's desiccated air as the Primarchs finally parted ways.

“Never, Frederick. I will not let your ego take our father's throne in his time of weakness” said Je'She, disappearing into the Warp.

>>55316877
“Never, Je'She. I cannot permit your weakness to paralyze the Imperium because you are not the man our father was” whispered Frederick, sprinting to his waiting shuttlecraft.
Completely forgotten by both parties, Marduk gazed upon the cracked earth left behind from both Primarch's bootprints. Its previously flawless white facade broken and torn, now ugly brown earth showed through. “The truth beneath a dead sea...” thought Marduk, and the Leviathan's master howled with laughter at this sign of divine favor, his youthful countenance now marred with the madness so long held within. Disappearing into a blood-red cloud of Warp-stuff, Marduk strode proudly onto his flagship's vast bridge, and he gave the order to move in and destroy both Dragoons and Sentinels alike.

“Never, brothers. You will never see the truth of this universe... Until I break you with it.”

>>55312472
>Seraphium
I'm honoured ;_;

>>55315801
Will look into this and start writing ASAP

>>55315933
Je'She and Daemon Ashur fight confirmed. I'll definitely be writing on this.

>>55316697
All of this. Also, the main point of conflict was that Jon-Fred was pro-astartes leadership, whereas Je'She was pro-human leadership. Je'She doesn't want to lead singlehandedly, he wants the Lords of Terra to rule alongside Primarch military assistance. Jon-Fred believes this to be a load of rubbish. Believing Astartes to be superior in both combat and politics

>>55316830
>>55316841
>>55316848
>>55316858
>>55316862
>>55316870
>>55316877
>>55316889
All of this is Emil's, btw. Just posting to the thread for posterity

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Ok, so here's the link for the description of the original Battle of Terra:
http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Battle_of_Terra#Siege_of_the_Imperial_Palace

Main points from OU event:

>Traitor fleet bombards Terra from orbit
>Loyalist fleet and Luna orbital defenses fight back valiantly, but are pushed back or destroyed
>Traitors begin assault via massed drop pods
>Ground troops eventually capture the Eternity Wall and Lion's Gate space ports
>Long fight back to the Imperial Palace walls
>Very brief stand off between Sanguinius and Angron
>Siege begins
>Traitors are repelled off the walls three times
>The Khan leads flanking attacks while this is all happening
> Traitor Titan breaches the wall
>Jaghatai has light bulb moment and goes for the Lion's Gate space port, takes it, and turns the orbital defences on the traitors
>This cuts the supply of troops and resources in half
>Other loyalists tried to take the Eternity Wall spaceport, but were easily forced back
>Traitors force Loyalists back to the Eternity Gate
>Loyalists hold it long enough for other loyalists to get in
>Bloodthirster challenges Sanguinius to duel
>Sanguinius eventually wins, then all loyalists retreat into the Eternity Gate
>Eternity Gate closes
>Day 55
>Horus receives news that loyalist reinforcements are coming
>He lowers his ship's void shields to lure in Emps
>Emps, Sangy and Dorn all hop aboard
>The rest is history

IMPORTANT NOTE: All of this is takes just over 55 days, for time referencing

>>55316927
Kyros is being painted now and Eusebias is assembled and awaiting undercoat. Seraphium was a 2nd hand model that needed a lot of work. I'm still toying with the idea of adding a lot of battle scars to him though.

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Ok, so here’s my proposal for our Battle of Terra:

>Traitor fleet bombards Terra from Orbit
>The Loyalist fleet and the Luna Orbital Defenses fight back valiantly, but are ultimately forced back, taken or destroyed by the Traitor fleets. Spearheaded by the Leviathan Host’s superior void combat tactics
>Traitors begin assault on Terra via massed drop pods led by Soaring Host forces
>Traitor ground troops eventually capture both the Eternity Wall and the Lion’s Gate spaceports
>Long fight back to the Imperial palace. Desperate fighting between all legions as brother fights brother underground, in the streets, in the air, and above the planet
>Brief standoff between two primarchs as the Loyalists gather on the palace walls, and the Traitors prepare for the assault. I vote for Raj and Lambach
>Siege begins
>Traitors are repelled by Je’She and the Sentinels three times. Supported by other legion forces.
>Meanwhile, Linares leads an assault outside the Palace along the Traitor’s flanks.

File: Siege of Terra 2.jpg (88 KB, 479x550)

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Ok, so this is where it diverts

>Linares captures the Lion’s Gate spaceport, leaving behind a mixture of legion forces to hold it, as he continues on and besieges the Eternity Wall spaceport.

This puts pressure on the Traitor forces and forces Marduk’s hand into pulling such a desperate move as crashing his Daemon Ship into the Imperial Palace later on

>Meanwhile, the Walls are taken, and the Loyalists are forced back to the Eternity Gate
>Raj is holding the line in his Titan, surrounded by Doomsingers, Golden Mountains, and Death’s Heads
>Linares fights his way back
>Daemon Ashur makes his way through the breach, only to be stopped by Je’She to allow time for the others
>Raj in his titan, Pacha, Kinnevail and Linares defend against Elsu, Isheko, Kane and Lambach. Each with their respective legions
>Kane fights his way onto Raj’s Titan. Kills Raj Vokar. Titan explodes
>In their fury, both Lambach and Linares banish Kane back to the Warp
>The Traitor forces start falling apart from disorganisation and infighting
>Marduk, in his desperation, crashes his Daemon ship into the Imperial Palace, breaching it.
>He fights through the Custodes and remaining defenders, heading straight for the Emperor
>Linares and Pacha pursue him as the other loyalist Primarchs fight against the remaining traitors
>Desperate chase ensues. Marduke frantically fights his way through custode, astartes and human alike. Leaving behind a bloody trail as Linares and Pacha are in close pursuit
>Marduk arrives in throne room, The Emperor in sight.
>Marduk nearly makes it, finally dying mere feet away from his Father with Linares’ blade embedded in his hearts, and Pacha’s mace crushed into his torso

NOTE: This is a rough draft. Feel free to include legions and characters and anything else I've missed

>>55317365
I'm really looking forward to how they come up. And yeah, I reckon you could totally do up Seraphium with battle damage

Here's a tutorial I found a while back if you want it, in case you haven't already seen it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIKEfVoqC5U

>>55317437
>>55317457
This is a pretty good summary imo. Let's see what the rest thinks and then feel free to paste it in the Siege's Doc

Emil's prologue:

(PROLOGUE)
-Aboard the Barchamos, Dauntless-class Light Cruiser-

Three steps forward. Turn in place. Two taps on the bulkhead, one gentle kick to the fourth coolant line, a soft push against five of the eight promethium drums awaiting refueling in the enginarium.

Listen to the voice, always listen to the voice. The feathers feel the air, the feathers feel the wind, the feathers know where to go and the voice knows what to do. Stay silent, stay silent, stay silent, until you must make noise.

A painted pauldron briefly visible. A Legionnaire's tattoo flashing in the ship's emergency lighting. The recognizable accent, the unique smell, the taste left lingering in the air for the subconscious to process. Sow the seeds to reap the harvest, leave marks that will be remembered only in due time. Six paces forward, three up, twist the large blue handle, raise the two small levers to maximum.

Keep going, there's so much to be done. So many whispers to to be answered. Without speaking, of course. Never speak, until you must speak, then speak with another's voice. Whisper down the hallway, curse your stubbed toe, lament your overconsumption of amasec, make merry with invisible friends. Sow the seeds to sprout in memories. But do not speak yourself. Only the voice may speak from the back of your mind.

With another's tone.

Lock the fuel lines fully open. Let the guard on duty see the back of your boot from the corner of his eye. Kill him as he follows, paint the walls red with his blood. Obey the pattern, the voice will tell you. You are a good and faithful servant, ally, friend. This is right, your ancestors proud. You do this for the future of all.

Now leave, flee ahead of the searchers, flee as the alarms blare, to the place prepared for you. Walk through the gap, disappear without trace. Most will die. But this is nature's way. The dandelion sheds its seeds to the wind, and those seeds will bear new life.
There were forty-six survivors of the Barchamos' untimely demise, ejecting in two escape pods just before the vessel's main reactor suffered massive drive failure which could not be halted in time. Most of the ship was on standby, the majority of the crew resting in their bunks to avoid Warp-fatigue in transit. Only a few guards on duty escaped alive.

Malcador, the Emperor's right-hand man, the architect of neutrality between conflicting Astartes factions, was not among them.

Elsu Eyanosa's involvement was never established, in accordance with the will of Chaos. That damaging piece of information remains securely in the Changer of Ways' arsenal, for use at his own inscrutable discretion.

>>55317437
This is a VERY Solid skeleton I think as for the standoff with Raj and Lambach, the way I'd do it is Lambach keeps raising undead that Raj flattens, if it comes to a 1v1 melee fight I think Lambach would have the upper hand but he'd have to get through Raj's deadly volly. That itself could be a cool scene where Raj fires everything he has at Lambach who just goes full T1000 mode through it all with wounds reknitting faster than Raj expected.
However another route might be to let some of the less involved Primarchs take this cake? Pacha and Isekho spring to mind?
Either way add this to Linares document so we can expand on it?
>>55317500
Thanks I'll give it a watch and see what I can do for him.

>>55317564
Isekho could work, but the Marchers might be a bit too… loud for the Stalkers to properly deal with?

Could also be that Raj expects to easily repel them, but the Daemons become a real problem.

>>55317564
I think we should add it asap. Get some more opinions and then add it.

Also, volunteers for gaining control of the Lion's Gate Spehssport?

>>55317525
>>55317539
Hell. What a lovely piece.

>>55318393
I was thinking Pacha vs Isekho face off. Kinda like settling the score from the censure? But we can do a bunch of showdowns. Elsu vs Kinncaid could be another good one seeing as we haven't really found much for them to do?

>>55318395
Leviathan Host itself, I would imagine

>>55318535
Then I'll get to write about how the Blades retake it asap

I have no major input in what the Death's Heads do on Terra, but there is a small contingent of them there, and they end up getting wiped out for some slightly heroic slightly "muh orders" reason

>>55318725
Maybe the main body of the Legion could be on their way to reinforce the defenders during the Siege.

>>55318821
Along with Star Warriors, like Ultras, DAs and Wolves.

>>55318821
>>55318977
Well Einchurt is stuck in Separatist space, but I could see a number of elements getting the vox requesting backup for Terra

>>55318999
A lot of Einchurt's time during Heresy can be spent trying to get back. He might even end up near Sotha at some point.

>>55319056
Yeah, he initially tries to get over, then gets double-crossed by Mot when Mot reveals he's a traitor, and spends the rest of the war trying to get back and also hunt down Gyahdred

>>55319111
Solomon is fighting Separatists as well, along with Traitors. Maybe Solomon finds a way to traverse the Ruinstorm due to his Eldar!Merlin? When Solomon and Einchurt reunite they could run for Terra.

>>55316697
Cool deal. My goal was to break the ice and get the group thinking about one of the more important events in our story. I recommend that whoever knows the most about the pieces I left out get started adding those in. Then it'll really be everyone's writing, not just mine.

>>55318427
Glad you liked it.

>>55319152
I don't know much about Solomon, but having the two work together would be interesting
What does Solomon think of Einchurt?

>>55320005

>>55318504
>Pacha vs Isekho face off
Yeah, would be baller, particularly with Pacha still emotionally dealing with the fact that he might've just prevented Isekho from falling had he used different words to tell him to stop getting his marines killed, or done something afterwards.

>Elsu vs Kinncaid
Sounds interesting, but maybe we can play on Elsu and Pacha being somewhat similar, and instead make it go Linares vs Elsu, where the latter lashes out at being treated with far less closeness that the Silver Blades primarch has with the Golden Mountains' one?

>Second Battle for the Lion's Gate Spaceport

The Traitor forces were advancing relentlessly throught the planet. The cradle of humanity itself! The Leviathan's Host managed to gain control of the Lion's Gate Spaceport, giving the followers of Chaos the chance to bring their heavy engines of destruction to the Terra's surface.

"We need to do something or they are going to drown us with those stupid crabs!"
"Surely work of your Brother, Hadad, my Lord"
"Surely. Gather the staff! I have a plan"

Minutes later, the Grandes Maestres of the Three Tercios were gathered, along with the Master of the Armory, Signals, Fleet, and Linares' personal Astropath.

"¿Estamos todos?"
"Yes, my Lord. Please, start"
"I have a plan. First of all, we are more efficient in the offense. Secondly, that filthy scum has managed to take control of *both* Spaceports, somehow. We have to regain control of at least one of those."
"The Lion's Gate one, sir?"
"Probably. Yes. We have to find a weak point in their lines and throw a lighting attack throught there."
"We don't have that many vehicles, they will slaughter us in a handful of minutes"
"We will ask for them to our Battle-Brothers. Sad, but we have no other option. Master of the Armory, please, send a message to my Brothers. Ask them to let us use their Rhinos."
"As you wish, m'Lord"
"Next, the weak point"

An hour later, the Rhinos were being gathered and the Legion was ready. Most of the First and Third Tercios were to attack the Traitors, while the rest of said Tercios would create a distraction in a convenient place, and the Second would stay in the walls defending them. Everything was ready and set.

"Green light, my Lord?"
"Green light, my Friend."

And the Silver Blades started their attack. First, the distraction force, who managed to get the attention of many Traitors.

>>55312395
>Address Mot's daemons
How do you mean?

>>55321823
Then, the Task Force. A strange column made with vehicles from different Legions, mostly transports.

The tanks rushed throught the wall's gate, course set to the weak point. Guns blazing, engines roaring. Linares' command Land Raider leading the vehicular charge. Lascannons and melta guns targetting the Loyalist's tanks, taking down several vehicles whose surviving passengers quickly ran towards the enemy lines. They were Silver Blades. They will *never* surrender.

"Tell everyone to not stop! We can't loose any time, or we will be crushed in a counter attack!"

The Loyalist behemoths crushed the Traitor lines without problem. Many chaos followers were crushed under the tanks' threads, while others were being shot with the vehicles' guns.

The tank rampage succesfully broke the enemy lines, loosing several vehicles but still strong. The momentum gained pushing them towards their ultimate objective: the Lion's Gate Spaceport.

The Leviathan's Host that were defending the landing site called for reinforcements as soon as they saw the armored strike's course. Some chapters joined them, and a daemonic host materialized in the place. They were ready.

The troops built a barricade in the main access, a barricade that would surely stop most vehicles.

But not Linares'. The Land Raider pushed its own limits. The enraged Machine Spirit pushing the engine to give more power. More speed.

"Brace for impact, passengers!" The Tank Commander cried
"FOLLOW MY LEAD!" Shouted Linares throught the comms systems

BLAM

The behemoth rammed the barricade, and wrecked it. Its passengers were shocked. But they were in their objective. Time to clear the way for the next vehicles.

The Land Raider accelerated again and ran over a group of renegade Astartes, just before unleashing its deadly payload.

>>55322099
Linares charged towards the closest enemy, cutting him in half. A veteran sargeant tried to stop him, got his hearts stabbed. The Escogidos were unleashing their fury against their old Battle-Brothers. Because there's no place in the Galaxy for Traitors like them.

The Spaceport was being assaulted from several points at once. The mechanized assault rushing throught barricades, streets and groups of Traitors with ease. When they were about to reach the main control tower, the daemonic host surprised them, and made the inital push loose momentum. They lost ground in a couple of points. But no daemon could stop the fury of the betrayed sons of the Emperor. No daemon could stop them, at the very gates of their Father's lair, nonetheless!

They regained strenght. They pushed. They stabbed, thrusted and butted. The daemons slowly losing ground again, and the Silver Blades demonstrating that they were worth of their titles.

They pushed back the daemons, and gained control of most of the Spaceport in less than a single day. The only enduring redoubts were isolated and eliminated quickly. The daemonic host, banished to the warp. The Spaceport was under Imperial control again.

"Second Tercio, chose a garrison and take control of the place. First Tercio, we are going back to the Palace."

The rush towards the Palace was met with some resistance in the Traitor's lines. A big assault to the walls was taking place, and the Silver Blades caught from behind an important contingent of Traitor forces.

"We are joining the assault! Charge these traitors, for the Emperor!"

And so finished the lighting attack at the Lion's Gate Spaceport. Shortly after, the walls were taken, and the fight got closer and closer to the Eternity Gate.

Marduk saw the lost men and Spaceport as a great loose, but the great reward was closer and closer with every Loyalist dog killed.

"Father. I'm going for you"

>>55321823
>>55322099
>>55322323
This is it. Isn't as long as they use to be, I know. I can expand it if needed.

>>55321849
Weren't you trying to get a concrete picture on how Hashut damon work?

>To fight until one's last wisp of soul is burned.
In a concealed room in the Imperial Palace, assisted by a few members of the Mechanicum and his Coven, Quteq watched the entirety of the siege of Terra unfold.

The best twelve Mountain Warlocks aside from the artificer were arranged in an array around the Artificer, allowing them to channel their psyker might into him, for the best of their order to use it to its fullest extent.

Servoskulls had been placed all around the battlefield, with redundant ones and the same had been done for the relays, a whole picture of the battlefield.

The Artificer did not even need to have a direct communication with Pacha, the Equerry's familiarity with the Primarch's simple thought patterns making it enough for him to understand the Earthquake's intentions from just seeing his movements in the map.

And when the battle started, the artificer started channeling. The earth sunk or raised all across the planet, tipping over buildings into the forces of Chaos, blocking charges or creating defenses for the Loyalist forces to take a moment of relief. Of course, even with such a sight he couldn't handle every single place at once, but his power was applied with a far vaster effect that if them had been spread around the battlefield and using their earthen soldiers as additional troops.

Yet Quteq was plainly not made to tolerate the constant effort, and psionic might channeling through him. Even the moments where his body required rest barely felt like a relief on the sheer effort he had to maintain all the time.

The battle raged on. Quteq felt like he had crossed some threshold, some permanent damage taken for this massive effort. It didn't matter. Terra was his home, <> specifically, and it was worth every price to be defended.

The battle raged on. The Artificer kept at his task, his duty to the Loyalist forces first and foremost. The battle raged on. The Second Legion's Equerry knew that his mind was already paying the toll.
>CONT

>>55324166
>CONT
The battle raged on. The palace had been breached, and Pacha and Linares seemed to be bent on going through the blockade of traitors to defend The Emperor. The Mountain Warlock focused on aiding them, hundreds of earthen soldiers making simultaneous charges at the enemy formation, the earth flattening as to leave them without any cover. The Mountain Warlock would do his most to allow his father to succeed.

The Battle Raged on, and <> and Pacha managed to break through. They had to protect <> from <>. The Golden Mountain decided he wouldn't rest any longer, despite the worried looks from his battle brothers. Even with their helmets and cloaks on, he could tell. This last line would cost him his life, but if another wave of reinforcements reached there in time to aid the Archtraitor, it would be the end. He was sworn to help his side in this conflict at the expense of his life, that had been his oath.

The battle came to an end, and the psyker just stood there, a gentle look in his eyes. It wasn't that such was his face, but simply what ashes remained of the fire that once burned in them. The other psykers around him pushed him around, first joyful but then worried. <> didn't know why. He could barely think anymore, anyways. The only duty that remained in his mind was completed. He needed no longer reason to remain awake.

And thus, Quteq the Artificer's hearts and brain stopped, the will in them long fed to the fire of his effort to fulfill his duty.

>>55324326
>This last line would cost him his life
*This last effort would finally consume his very life and essence

>>55324166
>>55324326
>Title
Instant hard-on

>The rest
Nice! Only problem I find are these <>, although I know why they are there. I think is easy to fix it. But yeah, great piece!

>>55324502
Yeah, didn't know how to format just some black line spaces (don't know if just spoilering empty spaces would work), so used that instead.

>>55324556
The problem isn't the format but what they try to cover. Are those supposed to be names of the Characters involved?

>>55324824
I assume they're placeholders, yeah.

>>55324824
>>55324842
No, it's meant to be Quteq slowly forgetting things that he otherwise knew. Which is also why he goes from his name to his personal title to his rank to his legion to being just a psyker.

>>55324962
>DamnSon.mp4
That is really cool. Never thought about it

In the comfort of his private chambers, Eslu drew the short axes that Marduk had presented him with. They were well balanced, but the focal point was clearly the blades themselves, made out of some sort of dark stone. Ordinarily, Elsu would have relished the bladelore and metallore that united smith and weilder in appreciation of the artistry that went into weapons, but these were Davinite blades. Athme or something like that. Elsu didn't care. Once the hand of Davin was evident, he had ceased listening to his brother's words and the joy of the presentation and meeting had gone out. Davinites did not make art, they made tools for securing their own power. They fancied themselves indispensable because they claimed a unique knowledge of Chaos. As if Chaos wasn't self-evident. As if they were the only world to discover the primordial truth. As if they could hide things from the Chosen of the Changer of Ways.
No, Davin fancied this rebellion was for its benefit. Chaos worked for the interests of none save its own. One rode the swells for a time, but in the end, the price always came due. Perhaps it was time that Davin learned that final lesson.
Elsu pressed the button on the vox.
"Helm, set course of Davin."
He felt much better, a weight that had hung since Thashunke lifted.

>>55326206
So Elsu goes for Davin, eh? I'm kind of confused about the Anatheme thing though. Are his axes supposed to be the Anatheme?

>>55326638
Oh, I figured that Marduk would have given him some nice blades to say thanks. Or something, and as I understood it, Erebus makes mini-athames to hand out to people.

>>55327236
Pretty sure that's only possible once the original Athame got broken, right? They didn't actually have the means to make more from fresh material, IIRC.

>>55328867
And those are still just forged from shards, yeah.

>>55329051
>>55328867
Ah, gotcha. Well, then they'll just be nice Davinite made

>>55329289
Davin is a tribal shithole. They make nothing good. :P

>>55329318
That's the point. It's some sort of chaos tainted blade. And the Davinite Smith is all "WOW THIS SO GOOD DAVIN IS GREAT." And Elsu's gotten to the point where he's at fuck that. I'mma go blow up Davin.

>>55329665

>>55329665
I'm really liking how Elsu is the one that's going full rage mode. Good stuff.

As Discord seemed pretty full of it today I thought we should revive an old prompt about what weapons your Primarch actually uses. I think we should also add a tab to the spread sheet about it for the sake of making writefaggotry easier in the future.
>So what type of weapon does your Primarch use and what are it's special properties, if any.

>>55333509
Venus Gospel:
Made by Gyahdred to thank Lambach for assisting in his research into the ailment afflicting the Dusk Phantoms. Venus Gospel is a Force polearm of immense power and a marvel of technology. Expertly customised to suit Lambach’s unique fighting style.
During thier time together Gyahdred noticed that Lambach used an archaic silver bladed spear that looked like a twig in the mighty hands of a Primarch. He felt that it was unbecoming for a man of his Brothers stature. Venus Gospel, when powered down resembles nothing more than a thin, red metal staff. Though when Lambach forces his will into the haft of the weapon it ignites a blade of sheer Psykic energy that can cut through any metal like a hot knife slicing into butter. The more power Lambach pumps into the weapon the longer, brighter and more potent the blade can be. Also built into the haft is a heavy flamer for clearing large crowds.

>>55333509
Garbage-disposal-on-a-stick (working title)
Mot's weapon is a massive two-handed flanged mace, with chainblades for the... flanges.

I know this isn't high on anyone's priority list right now, but I'd like to work on rules for making Hashut-aligned characters in Black Crusade. Anyone up for it?

>>55333509
The Silver Slayer


A mighty old weapon, forged by the Primarch himself before getting to power. An adamantium-silver alloy was used in it's forging, maintaining the original characteristics of the adamantium, but with the bright and clean look of silver. At first, a simple bastard sword with a type-XIIIa blade, but after reuniting with the IVth Legion, Linares turned it into a powerful power sword, said to be able to cut an Astartes in two without any problem.

An Avatar of Kaine survived to getting it "sticked into their asses", as some guardsmen described the action.

The Sword itself is Linares-sized, too big even for the average primarch, except, maybe, Pacha. It's perfectly balanced, being so easily to swing that a Silver Blade could do it without much aditional effort, despite weighting nearly 20Kg.

Its hilt is engraved in one of its sides with the following: Linares, the Giant. at the other, we can find what would become the Legion's battlecry: A Sangre Y Fuego. Under the grip's leather cover, the Primarch's adoptive parents' names are engraved, along some ancient Kadirian quotes, refering to swordsmanship, battling, and general courage. When Linares met his Legion, the fuller was engraved on one side with the following: Master of the IVth Legion, at the other with: The Lord of the Ale.

It's said that Linares sleeps with it at his side, and that he doesn't leaves Kadir without his silvery sword. So far, only thing that's for sure is the later.

>>55334073
The “Flor de Plata”

The “Flor de Plata” (Silver’s Bloom) was a gift out of both concern and friendship from Raj to the Lord of Ale, whose pride in his martial prowess was such that he saw no need for a weapon that took his hands away from his precious Silver Slayer.

So Raj went ahead and got rid of that problem.

Mounted to the left forearm of Linares’s power armor, the Flor de Plata a compact platform that with a simple thought can release a hail of bolts at the target. Designed and based off of the Storm Pattern bolters used on most heavy vehicles at the time the twin barrels sat snugly side by side and while they lack the range due to the shorter barrels, they made up for this with the sheer volume of fire.

To Accommodate this prestigious amount of fire, the mountings that secure the Plata to Linares arm double as the feeding rails for the voracious weapon, feeding in from a Canister that sat beside the powerplant. In reality this Canister was little more than an armored storage box, with a number of standard bolter magazines feeding into the hopper.

While this system was far more complex than having a large drum magazine, this system gave Linares the ability to also carry more specialized munitions and with a simple mental command allowed the cannister to switch the form of ammunition it was feeding; it also had the added benefit of being quick to reload, simply removing the empty magazines and replacing them. The feed rails were engraved with filigrees of Silver and Platinum and looked more like vines and stems of a plant, leading all the way up to the weapon itself; Whose top was adorned with flower petals of crimson and silver, a glowing green gem resting at the center of the “flower”. And while a small touch on the well hidden ammunition canister is a small silver plaque with the words “While Titans have no blades, No Primarch should be Unarmed.”

>>55333509
Rahman has a panoply of esoteric items, but is most known for the Night Saber, a strange blade that crackles with green energy, and cleaves through even force and power fields with its swings. He has other blades but the Night Saber is the one he is most known for.

In small arms, he utilizes several as well, but most often the Infernus Serpenta, an archeotech Volkite weapon capable of firing either precise thermal blasts or a burst of power over a wider area. Additionally, he carries an macroripper, a macrostubber loaded with virulent ripper toxin rounds and firing off a storm of rounds that shatter into razor shards on impact, introducing their venom into a targets bloodstream through repeated hammering shots.

>>55333509
Einchurt weilds a seemingly common Power Maul in hand-to-hand combat, but the truth of the device is much more maleficent than it initially seems. The Maul, hooked up to the gas canisters on Einchurt's back, bleeds alchemical fumes as it is swung. Even foes who avoid his attacks risk being poisoned by the gasses, skin melting and disfiguring, organs necrotizing, and muscles sloughing.
At range, Einchurt utilizes a Photon Gauntlet, an esoteric weapon of the Mechanicum, gifted to him by the Primarch Gyahdred, alongside a weapon of unknown origin, the Eradication Array. This device functions similarly to a Conversion Beamer, albeit on a smaller, yet more destructive, scale.

>>55335084
>The Maul
Glad you found a melee weapon so cool, Anon.

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>>55333509
First off, his armor. He wears an expertly crafted Cataphractii-Deva Pattern Terminator Armor, the "Kavach Vokar".
The armor is a larger variant of the Cataphractii-Deva Armor worn by several Titan Marchers, but Raj was sure to include some personal modifications. These mods include a more modular design, allowing Raj to exchange certain wrist mounted weapons, and a meticulously hand crafted power battery, allowing him to not have to worry about the drain of his arsenal on his power supply.

As for his weapons, Raj has an immense arsenal, most of which are personal creations. The only exception to that is his personal, close quarters sidearm, the "Kagolus". The Kagolus is an archeotech weapon, the size of a rifle or shotgun for most mortal men, but after a few minor alterations, it serves as a pistol of sorts. Pic related is a close approximation. It fires large, but slow moving spheres of energy that tear through most organic matter it comes into contact with. It can also be fired in a manner similar to a Volite weapon, firing directed blasts of concentrated heat. The weapon was given to Raj by his adoptive mother, shortly before her death. As such, it holds great sentimental value to him.

Besides the Kagolus, Raj carries many different weapons, some of which are attached to his armor directly. These weapons include wrist mounted flamers, shotguns and bolters and shoulder mounted missile launchers. He also makes use of many heavy weapons, including heavy bolters, plasma cannons, and grenade launchers, though his personal favorite is the autocannon.

While he does not often engage in melee combat, he does carry a curved Power Sword into battle, based on designs commonly found on his homeworld. While the blade does not get used that often and Raj is not a great melee combatant, it is still a finely crafted tool of death.

>>55333509
>Encallíon the Sabre Resolute
Jon-Frederíc's exceptionally long power saber is a masterwork, nearly as long as he is tall in order for the weapon to be able to cut down infantry whilst riding his attack bike. The blade's power field extends to the elaborate hand guard, in the shape of grand folded wings, the tips acting as blade catches to be utilized in duels. The scabbard is just as magnificent, filigree and ornament decorating the sheath. The internals of the scabbard are magnetized, to assist in drawing the over long blade, and to reduce awkwardness when mounted on his vehicle.

>Mk III Laris Pattern Flechette Caster
Based on the Flechette Blasters of the Adeptus Mechanicus, Aristide's sidearm is a light, rapid firing autopistol that fires volleys of penetrating darts, ripping through flesh with ease. The ammunition varies from the Blasters found amongst the Mechanicus in that the homing devices in the base also act as small yield explosives that are activated when a tracer round within the volley finds its mark amongst a dozen or rounds, causing a deadly chain reaction. The explosive capabilities of the munitions reward sustained and accurate fire, but in the hands of the tactically proficient Aristide, whole scores of enemies can be felled with a well distributed volley

Does your Primarch have a personal ride? What is it

>>55338667
The famous Apocalyptican; the greatest Titan ever built.

The Apocalyptican is the only one of it's kind, an Apocalypse-class Super Titan. The design is not entirely original, it is a hybrid between the two largest 'common' Titan patterns, the Imperator and Warmonger class. In Raj's classic 'go big or go home' style, he has the size of the chassis increased in order to allow for all necessary weapon systems to be placed. He designed the required power systems himself.

Because of the combined weapons systems, the Apocalyptican is inevitably going to be the center of any battle, tearing apart foes from long to close range. Especially when the XVIIth legion marches alongside it.

After it explodes on Terra, it becomes a core part of Marcher legion culture. Not only because their gene-sire died alongside it, but because they believe the Titan warmachines to be the greatest machinations of mankind, and the Apocalyptican to be humanity's Magnum Opus.

>>55338667
Linares rides a pimped Land Raider, featuring maximum bling and beer barrels for a whole battle.

Jokes aside.

"Toro Bravo" is the personal Land Raider of the Lord of Ale. A bigger than usual vehicle, so that the Primarch may fit inside, equipped with improved communication systems, a shield generator and some extra armor, along with modular weapon sponsons and some kind of EW suite. There's still room for either his warrior retinue or his staff.

The exterior is completely silverish, decorated with the same motifs and filigrees made in silverish gold that decorate the Primarch's armor.

The tank itself hasn't seen much combat. Linares usually prefers to footslog during the battle, and when it is deployed is usually placed in the back, used as C3 post and providing EW measures. The tank saw heavy use during the Siege of Terra, when it lead the charge towards the Lion's Gate Spaceport and provided heavy support to the troops and transport to the Primarch

>>55333509
Feelings remain mixed regarding Emil's weapons. Likely to eventually be a pair of machetes, since he's developing a bit of an "explorer/pioneer" subtheme, and his combat style is extremely tilted in favor of offense rather than defense. Maybe a little Angron-ish, but not a berzerker.

Names pending.

>>55338667
Emil doesn't have a ground vehicle (yet) but he does fly the Incandescent Jewel.

It's a mostly repaired Dark Age cruiser that he dug up from cold storage (pun intended) and planned to use it to travel beyond his homeworld and see if any other humans existed anywhere, or if Nonimat IV was all that remained after Old Night. Instead of course, the Emperor found him first, but it remains his personal voidcraft and carries the Terquo Kannav Chapter of veterans aboard it.

The Legion itself has a different flagship, a "supercarrier" variant of the Gloriana-class named the Adamant Fire.

>>55338667
For battlefield deployment Lambach prefers a Razorback known as "Konabos". Vastly larger and more heavily platted than a standard Razorback, Konabos has lost none of the original designs maneuverability.
Sitting on top of this noble steed is a customized Assault Cannon that fires an ammunition known as Dragon's Breath. High impact shells filled with promethium that detonate on impact. Konabos has more than once lived up to the myths of the Fire breathing war horse from which it takes it's name.

>>55341053
Well, the dice have spoken, machetes it is.

>>55312395
Concept for Mot versus Emil story:


Emil is steadily moving from the Fringe towards Terra, following the conflict with the Death's Heads and seeking information about what has transpired in his absence regarding Heresy things. When he nears the border between Segmentums Ultima and Obscurus, he becomes aware that Mot and the Forge Lords are waging an altogether different war.

Emil leads his forces against the Forge Lords, attempting to prevent yet another important Forgeworld from being destroyed. Mot is looting and burning to his heart's content, unleashing the powers of Chaos as he pleases. For the first time, Emil is confronted with Chaos in all its terror, not just dim memories from infancy.

Shit gets very bad, very quickly. The Steel Souls learn through hard experience how to adjust their mental state to blunt the pain of Chaos energies being unleashed nearby and rally effectively, but not before taking heavy losses. Emil and Mot confront each other, and Mot intends to feed Emil to his Daemon ally Hashut.

The duel culminates in Hashut countering Emil's psyker advantage by roiling the Warp around them, and Mot shatters Emil's archaeotech sword completely by corrupting its technology from within. Emil lashes out with uncontrolled psychic energy in a last-ditch attempt to fend Mot off. He succeeds only for a moment, but that moment is enough for a war party of Eldar to arrive.

(Mot's author has told me that the Eldar are also hunting Mot at this time, seeking revenge for heinous crimes committed against their people. Because the Ruinstorm is raging, they can't get a good bead on Mot, but Emil's "flare" draws their attention and they teleport in via Webway Gate)

While Mot and Eldar duel, Emil makes his escape, leaving several thousand Steel Souls corpses behind. They are used as tribute to Hashut, and Emil never forgets this day.

>cont.

>>55345060


Regrouping in orbit of another world with a shattered fleet which won't last much longer before simply breaking into shrapnel after the strains of combat and emergency Warp-jumps, a fleet of Mechanicus vessels fleeing Terra to join the Separatists finds the Souls and aids Emil in repairing himself and their ships, and keep many of the wounded alive. They also gift him a pair of relic machete blades as thanks for coming to the aid of several Forgeworlds and out of respect for the long-held friendship between Mars and the Souls. They also tell Emil much of what happened further back in Imperial space, filling in many gaps.

By doing this, they earn Emil's trust, a rare thing. And because they healed so many of his wounded Legionnaires from death's door, Emil feels he owes them a life-debt of sorts. This will later come into play when Frederic confronts Emil about officially choosing a side, since either he will have learned of this event on his own, or those Magi will have told him.

(So be thinking about how that series of events might look, Frederic, it will be important eventually)

After the Mechanicus guys move on, Emil finds a place to hole up for a while. The rest of his Legion steadily rallies to their location, and after _____ time has passed, this is where it ties into the older story I wrote of Emil journeying to Terra in order to see things for himself, where he speaks to Constantin, things go badly, and the Steel Souls are chased back through the Ruinstorm into Separatist space, where presumably Frederic intercepts them in fairly short order.


Thoughts?

>>55338667
Gyahdred's definitely got one, though I'm not sure what's most appropriate for him. Probably some sort of arcane mechanicum tank.

>Atreus Thyestes
Known throughout the Chosen of Hecate legion for his fury on the battlefield Thyestes was a powerful psyker as well as warrior. Atreus though would share little with the mannerisms of his father Primarch and would show no mercy in attacks that he was given charge of. He considered the option a weakness.
Despite being well at odds, Lambach could hardly deny the results achieved by Theyestes and his company and soon the volatile captain had earned a fierce reputation and significant favor from some of Lambach's brothers. Atreus would probably have been more at home amongst the Death's Heads or Iron Guard.
Atreus raged after his appointment to the newly formed Speartip after Nikea and in his fury openly decried Lambach as weak, of the pinion that his father should have fought harder for his beliefs and that it was this weakness that now cursed Atreus and his brothers to a "Glorious Suicide". An accusation that tore his father's heart, for Lambach believed his words to be the truth.
After Lambach's censure Atreus continued to decry the efforts of his father who had again cursed both him and his brothers, gaining even more support than ever before. Perhaps Lambach could have put a stop to the wayward captain but Kropor saw Atreus Thyestes as the personification of his own guilt and made no move against the captain.
With the Warmaster defeated after the Siege of Terra Atreus finally broke ties with his Legion. Calling out to his brothers and playing on their own insecurities in the faith they once had in their father. Atreus sundered the Chosen of Hecate, refusing to sit idly in the eye of terror and instead striking fear into the hearts of those he had once served. Now a powerful warrior Lich who can never truly die. Atreus’ vast horde of undead have left many Imperial and Separatist worlds alike barren wastelands.

>>55345060
Mot is a very busy boy haha.
Cool concept though. I like the weapon breaking part.
Large McEmil with a shake and fries!

>>55345060
The first bit looks good. Emil's ultimately fruitless attempts to get to Terra a quite endearing. Mot really serves as a good threat here, the Forge Lords properly stirring up shit like they're supposed to.

The Eldar arriving is an interesting twist. You're correct in assuming the Eldar want Mot's head and to prevent Hashut's apotheosis. That's the same reason Solomon attacked Mot in the first place; because he was sent by the Eldar.

>>55345154
Second bit looks good too. The SepMech arriving is a nice twist, and it adds some backstory to his machetes.

With ' the older story I wrote of Emil journeying to Terra in order to see things for himself' I take it you mean the one that ends with the AI in his ship reawakening?

>>55346209
Cool character. I take it this'll be an important Chosen warband?

>>55349162
Not really a seperate warband so to say. He's just the major catalyst for the Chosen breaking up. He'll essentially be my Typhus, in that unlike Lambach he chooses to embrace Nurgle and chaos.

>>55349229
Right, so they continue to call themselves Chosen of Hecate then?

I can see where he's coming from, having a leader that barely leaves his room for 10 millenia isn't be greatest thing in the world.

>>55349253
Yep they'd still be the Chosen.
I've been doing a lot of research into Mortarions relationship with nurgle and why Mortarion doesn't look all pussed up and changed unlike other daemon primarchs.
Apparently Typhus is held in higher regard by Nurgle and this guy will probably be the same.

>>55345154
>>55345060
Both of these sound good.
Are you thinking that among these SepMechs is a radical young magos named Belsarius Cawl?

>>55346209
I like him a lot. Gives a pole for Chosen/(ex-Chosen?) activity. Makes him kind of an Abbaddon figure while Lambach is in his lab and secluded.

>>55346138
A bit more thought on this--thinking Gyahdred has an archaeotech hovertank. The chassis itself is from Holy Terra and is reputed to be of a kindred with the graceful war engines of the Custodes. Most consider this nonsense, for the outer form of the vehicle is not nearly so streamlined.

Another option is that Gyahdred's ride is basically a Fellblade chassis that he's constantly working on. It's been built up a bit in places to allow for more room inside, but basically it's his portable mad-scientist gun with whatever experiment of the week he's got.

Another option, which is going to sound a bit strange, but consider Gyahdred's style is a personal Thunderhawk/Stormbird. Lets him pop up anywhere on the battlefield.

Another another option is an AT-TE.

>>55349266
That makes a lot of sense.

Lambach himself becomes a skeletal, pale and gaunt figure, what does Atreus become?

>>55349304
>Gyahdred's sweet ride
So I'm thinking whatever it is, it's a gift or incorporates a gift from the Emperor. The Dusk Phantoms have all that old night tech given to them like the OU DA. So he could very well have some sort of hovertank. He could also have a massive mechanicum crawler type deal, with some sort of relic systems on board gifted to him by the Emperor, perhaps a small nullfield that makes the thing invulnerable to psy...
actually...
How about the Emperor gives Gyahdred a null rod type deal. It's incorporated into his plate, into his iron halo or whatever, so where Gyahdred takes to the field, psyker powers fizzle and a palpable aura of dread surrounds him. His personal ride has similar technology. It comes in handy on Stovokor when warpflame literally won't touch it.
It'd bother most people, even a lot of Primarchs, but this is Gyahdred we're talking about and he just chooses not to feel those emotions. The tank crew just deals with it or is so machine at this point that they don't register dread.
It's point defense guns are all of top quality, perhaps even Lastrum bolters and the like.
The main gun is any number of things that depend on how Gyahdred is feeling that day.
Still leaning towards a massive hovertank, like the superheavy result of a Repulsor's and Coronus' one night stand.
Name like the Batleth.
Thoughts?

>>55349435
Sounds like it'll cause havoc when the Phantoms fight the Chosen

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>>55349305
I was actually thinking He'd look something like this. But with more of a power armoured feel. Also weapon wise I'm thinking a powerfist and meltagun?

>>55333509
Valorn has a rather large Sniper rifle that his marines call "The Promise". It's not really that weird save for the fact that it is stronger than a normal sniper rifle (by a decent margin) and the fact that it can be converted into a stalker bolter just by flicking of a switch and removing a barrel extender.

He also carries a collection of throwing knives, some of which have frag grenades integrated into their hilts. After all, folk don't usually expect a knife that's already inside someone's sternum to be a threat to them, so having said knives blow up unexpectedly is both a good way to get rid of your enemies and a fantastic distraction

>>55349621
I'd opt for a lightning claw instead of a power fist.

>>55350336
I had considered a lightning claw just because they seem more sinister. The main reason I opted not to use 1 is because they become a big thing for the Runeclaws.

On another not though this guy really does round out the 3 faces of Hecate theme nicely. Which in turn transfers to Lambach.
Kaden, lacks any psychic talents but represents Lambachs belief in the Imperium and also his talents as a warrior and general. With his death representing Lambach's loss of faith in the imperial truth.
Mendel represnts Lambachs psykic potential and later, once intered into a Cerebro Dreadnaught goes utterly insane. Much like how Lambach is trapped in his deal with Nurgle and slowly goes mad.
Atreus represents both the soldier and the psyker but also the corruption and doubt in his own potential that is Lambachs ultimate fate. As the only 1 of the 3 to effectively retain his free will / life it shows how this aspect of Lambach was ultimately strongest.

>>55351065
I always figured that Lambach would use a force pike and shield

>>55352250
He uses a glaive. Don't know about the shield, probably not.

>>55352250
Lambach does use a force spear / glaive.
And most Chosen do use a shield. Lambach himself doesn't though he goes for a super reinforced armour on his left arm.
The lightning claw or powerfist was for Atreus.

>>55349304
I haven't really kept up with the new fluff, was waiting for the rage to cool and the dust to settle.

Not sure if I'm comfortable working someone as powerful as Cawl into a cameo role. Might be a little presumptuous to just coincidentally have someone like that help Emil out.

>>55356174
I think it was stated that Kinnévail's grand manipulation of the Cult Mechanicus shattered the AdMech, and that Cawl wasn't chill with all the dogma being built up so he picked up his toys and left for the SepMech

>>55356281
Yeah that makes sense, but I get "deus ex machina" vibes saying a guy who's at least in the top 5 Magi in the galaxy just so happens to solve Emil's problem. I'd probably just invent some other NPC.

>>55356314
Not really, Cawl has a history of attaching himself to Primarchs. Perhaps he affiliates himself with JFA, then from there that's Emil's in, whether Cawl takes an interest or Emil asks for help, or Jon-Fred steps in is up to you if course

>>55356441
Hmm. Yeah, maybe.

>>55356695
On all the levels of character Cawl could reasonably interact with, Primarch is one of the most likely.

>>55333509
>Dancing Devil
A power-glaive crafted in the image of Je’She’s original watchman’s glaive. The reinforced hardwood polearm begins with an adamantium butt. Going up the wood shows a continuous groove going along from the beginning to the end, with the tale of the defense of the Great City carved all along inside it. The blade itself is scimitar-like, with a mixture of geometric and swirling filigree reminiscent of the sand currents seen in the deserts of Harrdid.

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>>55356281
>>55356174
>>55356441
I was thinking he was just one of those leaving Mars. Doesn't have to be him. He's probably got Koriel Zeth, Pluvial Maximal, and perhaps Markus Krom with him.
I'm suggesting it as a way of getting a bunch of people who would be useful narratively speaking off Mars and over to the Union.
Any one of them can help Emil and eventually make their way to the Union's mechanicum hierarchy.

>>55349435
>>55333509
So on the topic of personal equipment, Gyahdred's plate is a heavy and baroque piece that looks like a prototype for some mk not actually produced. It's sort of a cross between MkIII and IV with sloped plates like on the most recent cypher model and a gorget. It really is a prototype for a design route not taken that Gyahdred found in the archives, took a shine to, and built into his own personal plate. Instead of mechadendrites, it has extra servo arms, fully articulated and able to wield blades.

I'm thinking they have arcane parrying daggers and the like while Gyahdred's actual arms weild some sort of varja-staff with the bladed tips on one end and a bell on the other.
Looks kind of like pic related.

File: KingLeoric.png (487 KB, 640x744)

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Pic sort of related, this is Leoric from Diablo, so imagine something like this without the crown and more of a power armored feel.

>Daemon Prince Lambach appearance.
Lambach did not ascend to the rank of Daemon Prince until well after the siege of Terra. His resistance to his own fate was a massively contributing factor in his slow transformation.
Though by MK41 there is little left of the man that Lambach once was. His physical body is now little more than a skeleton seemingly held together by warp magics. He sees with green wraith fire burning in the sockets where once his stone grey eyes would have been. The self assured smirk he was famous for now replaced by the rictus grin of a skull. Lank, ghostly white hair drapes his skeletal face, hanging to about shoulder length. An enormous crater, caused by the pistol of his Daemonic brother Deshain Kane hollows out Lambach’s chest allowing a view of his hollowed innards.

>>55360637
His once brightly polished battle plate now dulled with time, hangs loosely about his form. Cracked and cratered in countless places through decades of neglect. Lambach’s vibrant green, hooded cape, known during the Crusade as the Hide of the Nemean Lion is now little more than a long and tattered robe, filthy with grave moss and the dusts of time.
The sickly green mist that permeates the corrupted version of Miletus follows in Lambach's wake whenever he decides to leave the world, wilting vegetation with its very presence. The lord of Undeath’s foot falls leaving ghostly green burning footprints in his wake.
Amazingly Venus Gospel, Lambach's polearm remains looking as if it were almost brand new, completely untouched by time or corruption. Though where once, when activated it shone with the bright golden light of Lambach's power now the same light is the pearlescent, dark green of warp lightning.
What appears to be a ghostly, agonised face floats around his head, while others hear nothing Lambach himself will constantly prattle to it and chide it for interrupting his speeches. None know the origin of this “ghost”, Lambach believes it to be the sentience of his brother Raj while most of his closest advisors are certain it is merely a creation of Lambach’s own psychic energy that in his madness he has created to keep himself company.

>>55360637
>>55360659
Cool one! And he acted pretty much like Mortarion, right?

>>55363518
In that he didn't embrace nurgle? Yeah.
But everything else about him is pretty much the opposite.
A huge thing for his madness is that he thrived on social interaction, something that became impossible for him after the siege of Terra. A huge factor in his decent into madness is simply loneliness.

>>55360659
Brainghost Raj is canon, sweet.

For the record, my intent was to have Cawl be one of the five Magos that Constantin Valdor brings in to assist in his making a method of replacing Custodes, and he's the one of the five w

>>55365968
Goddamn, accidentally hit send. Anyway, he's the one of the five who eventually escapes also during the Siege of Terra, and ends up in SepSpace.

Thus, having Cawl be part of solving Emil's problem does fit at least there.

>>55365968
>>55365972
Do you envision Cawl becoming the Fabricator-General of the Separatist Mechanicum? I personally wouldn't, he's too secretive for that.

My vote is still to have it be !Grievous.

>>55367232
He could still be a not!Grievous

Honestly he could just download a Cawl Inferior into a battle automata and have that be his stage persona while Cawl Actual fucks about behind the scenes

The SepMech would be a lot more freeform that the AdMech, and maybe even more divided than the Dark Mechanicum

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So yeah, here's Valorn's handsome gob

>>55367546
He really reminds me of someone but I can't exactly place who.
Looks cool though mate.

>>55367232
I didn't, simply because I thought perhaps the SepMech should be more decentralized, as befitting the Union.

>>55367546
15/11, would get sniped by his hi-caliber, hi-power semi-auto rifle

>>55367546
Can I call him Daddy
Because he's probably the hottest Primarch so far

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>>55368735
... I now really wish I'd used John Cena as a ref cause I could then say "No, but you can call him by his name which is JOHN CENA!!!"

But I didn't do that, so that joke is gone forever

>>55369159
really didn't need to send that image as well, but fuck it I suppose. Behold High Res Valorn. Now I just need to send an even bigger picture of him to the thread by accident and the joke is complete

>>55333659
I've decided on Tyrant's Maw, but I think it could do with some interesting archaeotech effects. crunchwise I could see it being really good against vehicles, but I'm not sure how you'd fluff that.

>>55371067
Give it nanofilament chains that spin fast as fuck. Or make it send an electric pulse every time you attack with it. Or make it similar to a rokit in a stick. Shaped charges and such

>>55368735
>Not Kincaid

Isn't that his thing???

>>55372011
Mot Hadad has the highest temperature of all the primarchs.

>>55369159
Not bad at all. Fixing the eyes definitely improved it significantly.

>>55372232
No, he just has the coolest beard

>>55373165
>Implying that his beard isn't on fire

>>55371067
A chainmaul is perfect for Mot. He's the kind of guy that likes being covered in blood.

Several high speed chains should get the job done? How are chainmauls described in lore?>>55372004

What is the difference between your heresy and other alternative universes?

Is this more a fun thing with imba characters and over the too stuff or do you follow a more professional approach like the Dornian Heresy or the Brotherhood of the Lost?

How many members are you amd what do I have to do in order to participate? And why help you and not one of the other AU's?

>>55375304
I suppose the gist of this one is that there are two non-chaos human factions: The OG Imperium and the Separatists, who are themselves a fractious group of legion-states who believe that astartes should rule over mortals. I wouldn't call it professional but we try to keep it "realistic", as far as 40k can be. I know we should have an anon for every legion but not everyone can post all the time. If you want to join just hit up the discord in the doc under links. You can help any AU you want but I think this is the only one active on /tg/ right now.

>>55375304
>>55375462

Also we get awesome busts done for our characters. ;)

>>55376112
That too.

>>55367232
>>55367284
I've been thinking that the Union Mechanicum is much more decentralized and has a few main groups that all kind of keep to themselves outside of a few Symposia. Doubtlessly, they all consider the others filthy casuals.

>Block One
Dusk Phantoms aligned worlds. These are dudes that liked the doctrines proposed by Stovokor, Tindalos, and Isekyo and look to them for spiritual guidance.

This has a few subdivisions:
>Core Worlds
The triad.
>New Forge Foundings
These are worlds founded by magi from the Triad or with their support, or that of the Legion. (During the Crusade and afterwards)
>Arhat Worlds
Made alliances with the triad during the crusade of afterwards
>Conquered Worlds
These are forges that rose up with Mot and were put in their place by Gyahdred and Friends. Ruling class replaced by Legion and Triad commanders.

>Block Two
Worlds that never really got into the whole Spess Buddhism thing, but also didn't join with Mot. Thinking there's a decent number of these, stuff like Anvillius, etc.
This is divided between
>Old Worlds
Ones that were founded pre-heresy.
>Exodus Worlds
Worlds settled by magi that fled the Western Imperium.
There's the highest degree of cultic variance in these groups, nor are they all politically united.

>Block Three
Legion Forges

Politically, then, we've probably got:
>The Triad
>Union Orthodox
>Western Orthodox
>Independents
>Anvilliates
>Some Schismatics
>Iron Rail Worlds

Cawl could go to any of these. The Union Fabricator General is probably a guy who has the miserable task of keeping all these factions in line and following the loose doctrines. He's probably got a Senatorial Forge and rules like Hobbes' Leviathan. He leaves you alone as long as you follow the law, but Omnissiah preserve you if you touch one of the forbidden technologies.
Granted, these technologies are decided by a synod of the various factions of the Mechanicum, so you really have to be messing with the warp.

>>55377061
>Cawl
>Caring about touching forbidden technologies

M8, unless you're trying to jam daemons into a toaster I doubt Cawl has much consideration as to what is what. Which is why he'd make such a great SepMech leader

>>55377061
So the Fabricator General calls levies and fucks shit up. It's less a research position or doctrinal position than a political and military one.

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>>55374723

>>55374723
I call it a maul but it's more like a flanged mace with chainblades. I don't think there's anything like it described.

Bump

>>55377061
>Diagram time
Oh no

But I like the idea of the SepMech being fragmented. Fits with their style. Also, wouldn't the Seps try to put Techmarines in power?

>>55377061
I kinda like the fact that the sepmech is more overly complex in terms of subfactions than the Admech. It Suits the more fractured Union and gives us the opportunity for a bit of internal strife.

>>55380763
>>55381886
I figure Kincaid pretty much unifies the Western Mechanicum under his whole single dogma idea and it all reports to that one head guy.

>Union putting Techmarines in Power
I can't speak for everyone, but Gyahdred and the Phantoms don't. Gyahdred's idea wasn't Astartes superiority, but rather that the best person for the job get the position. Merit. Just so happens Astartes are way smarter than the average person and brilliant Astartes are so far beyond mortals that it's no contest. This isn't true for the Magi, though, and Magi know way more about technology than do techmarines. In the Dusk Phantoms, forgemasters know a lot more of the arcana and some are magi in their own right, but augmented mechanicum humans are generally on par with Astartes.

I also suspect that had there been an attempt to do such a thing, the result would have been bloody civil war. Not good.

In any event, Mot's rebellion means that it's Gyahdred that brings most of the rogue worlds into line, seeding the cult of the Triad there.

Which reminds me, we need to decide on some of those worlds. Incaladion could definitely do what it does in the OU and follow Mot. If you've got any ideas, lemme know, elsee I'm going to make up some other forges to follow Mot.
Sarum, probably.
Metalica is an Old World, probably Union Orthodox.

>>55382071
So on that tangent, while I have my snack...

>Forgeworld Tarnas
Home of Legio Fulgurus 'The Thunder Kings'. They specialize in electric discharge weapons.
These guys follow Mot into battle because he aided them in a time of need and they owe him. They'd spent much of their energy on the frontlines of the Crusade and gotten little for it. An oversight, really, or perhaps one engineered by Mot.
He promised them a return to power.

Pacified by Isekyo 019.M32

>Forgeworld Procol Albinus
Noted for massed Skitarii ranks.
Mot offered their magos synod higher operating efficiency and power. They were loyal to him from the Crusade and so when he called, they came as any vassal would, seeing support in a civil war a perfectly reasonable thing to provide for a liege.

Conquered by Tindalos 023.M32

>Forgeworld Herul Minor
These guys worshipped Mot as theophany of the Omnissiah.

Cleansed by The Hand of Gyahdred 025.M32

And so on. I'll add some more later.

Stygies VIII is patronized by the Corsairs Gallant, and they've lesser bonds with some other Forge Worlds that they favored over the years.

>>55382071
The superiority is an important part of the Separatists´ ideology though. I get that the Dusk Phantoms want the fittest person to be in charge, but I imagine Gyahdred would prefer for it to be someone directly taken from his own legion.

>>55382272
These are cool.

>>55383281

Kadir.
July.
Noon.

The melting sargeants of the Legiones Astartes followed the tall, bearded one.
He was only wearing a light, white robe, with a sword hanging from his belt. The distinctive badge of his Legion embroided in both the chest and the short sleeve of the summer robe.

It was nearly 42º in the shadow.

And the Silver Blade wasn't even bothered.

While the rest were quickly melting. None complained. They were trained, made for enduring hells worse than that one. But, for the Emperor, that place was hot.

Worst of all, the last batch of recruits was trainning in the court. Armored with heavy training plates, and fighting with their signature weapons, the trainees fought against each other. The objective: make the other fall.

Their plates resembled the Mk.III power armor, that saw widespread use in the Legion, but felt way heavier, as it wasn't powered. That way, the recruits fortify their whole body in a single exercise.

The sargeants were driven to a room with air conditioner and windows looking down to the training court. There, they were invited to sit down and drink something. They all expected frozen-cold beer, probable each one different, brewed to fit each Legion's character. But no. They received something different. Frozen-cold limonade, with ice cubes and a lemon slice. The sour, yet delicious, and cold drink eased the sargeants' thirst and heat.

The meeting was arranged acording to an Imperial Decree that tried to improve the training of each Legion by sending one of their sargeants to another Legion's training grounds, in order to learn about their training procedures and improve their own. This way, several "Training Share meetings" were arranged. It was time for the Kadirian Legion to show their training methods. Couldn't be on another date. It just couldn't.

>>55385624
"So, Battle-Brothers, we are in our last step of the share. The best for the end, right?" Said the Silver Blade sargeant. The Death's Head seemed unimpressed. The Sentinel was looking curiously to a pair of recruits. One fell to the fiery attack of the other.

"I'm certainly impressed by the skill developped by these boys. Those blows are certainly accurate, as a surgeon's scalpel."
Said the Sentinel. He was taking mental notes of how the Silver Blades trained in melee. The Sentinels' Assault Squads could use their training method. But there was something that made the sargeant doubt about the method being exported to the Sentinels.

"It looks like witchcraft. Of course, our recruits will be able to reach a similar degree of training, but you, the Silver Blades, have something that makes your style pretty much incopable." Said the Golden Mountain.

"I don't know what you are talking about! We are just Astartes, we don't have nothing special. We just train since we are able to hold a sword." Replied the Silver Blade.

All of the Loyalists Legions were represented. Silver Blades, Golden Mountains, Titan Marchers, Sentinels, Doomsingers, Death's Heads and Star Warriors. They all were looking for new ways to gain the upper hand in the ongoing conflict, the Imperium depended on them for its own survival.

Although many things were learnt by most of the Legions, there was something completely clear. What made the Legions different, was pretty much unique. The Golden Mountains had taught many Librarians from other Legions in the Plant Singing art, but none could get it remotely close to how a novice Golden Mountain's Librarian got it. Same went for the precission and straightness of the Death's Heads, the melee arts of the Silver Blades, and the Doomsinging of the Doomsingers.

>>55385840
Many, many thousands of Light Years away, there were two men talking about the course of the war. One, standing in front of a window, that looked directly to the stars. The other, sitting idle in an armchair.

"So, Brother, how is Kadir doing after Kane's attack?" Said Je'She, visibly concerned about the state of the planet, and standing still, but nervous, in front of the starship's window.

"Well... I can't say we are doing very well. The reconstruction works are going fine, but most of the fields were left barren. Only thing we can do in that regard is give them time. The soil can use some rest after the bombardments. The Alcázar and the PDF's bases are being quickly repaired, and I think they are building a marble spire in the capital. The population has been reduced greatly, I doubt we can continue recruiting at this rate. Not for at least... several generations." Said Linares. He was drinking lemonade, something was going terribly wrong if he was drinking something else than beer. Or so Je'She thought.

"I see. You have to be careful then. We cannot afford to loose any Legion. And you have suffered heavy loses, already!"

"I understand, Brother. But something big is coming. We won't be able to cut on cassualties."

"The things you say... It seems like if you were some kind of farseer!"

"Oh! If only I could see the future... Kadir wouldn't have suffered this much."

"But you can't. And we can't change the past. Now is time to prepare for an uncertain future."

Ah, also:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Z5VlzCf8gg1lebr8uS0pkjE4AEY4RtfdlBsaWcBe1Fg/edit?usp=sharing

Been going over this in Discord but I'll post it here too. Basic jist is that its an explanation for the AU version of the Inquisition and also explains what the Custodes and Sisters of Silence are up to.

>>55385624
>>55385840
>>55386042
This happens during the Brotherwar, yes? It seems odd to have characters already talking reconstruction, that really had to wait until after war. Interesting read, though.

>>55386934
I'm in favor of this, but I've already worded that to you.

>>55387217
Right after (kinda) New Hope, when the shitstorm hasn't reached its climax yet, so the people can still afford to start the reconstruction. Ofc, until way after the Brotherwar, it isn't completely finished.

>>55388023
It's not clear who are loyalists at that point, though. The Star Warriors would still be a rogue element, and the Death's Heads would be a big question mark.

>>55388420
Good point tho

Okay, so an idea I've been playing with for a while is that the Regency has planets where they basically BREED space marine recruits. Essentially people who've produced children who are compatible with Pale Hound Geneseed/people who are themselves compatible with geneseed but not with indoctrination compatible get sent to these planets with the promise that their needs will be cared for and in return all they have to do is have kids. Doesn't sound too awful at first glance, especially to a poor underhiver couple who've probably never not had to worry about starving, but the reality isn't particularly nice.

These planets - known as "Paradise Worlds" in an attempt to disguise the Hounds' nastier doings and get people to go there willingly - are basically prisons. Once you get their you're kept in a cell, often isolated from any partner you might have, or really any significant human contact at all, and kept that way for decently long periods of time. You're allowed enough food and rest to keep you healthy, but that's it. Your kids get taken from you often before you can even name them and will get sent off to be space marines, or turned into living geneseed factories, or kept around to be put in the same position you are in when they come of age or given back to you to ensure your good behaviour then taken away if you misbehave. They might even be taken for indoctrination and be trained to be the next generation of guards for the pretty little hellhole you're stuck in.

And if you're really unlucky and you happen to produce a high number of compatible recruits then you'll get some rejuvenation treatments you can keep producing them for longer and longer. So yeah, it's no Garden of Eden.

The recruits these worlds produce are seen as a commodity by the Pale Hounds, who will send shipments of them to struggling successor chapters to ensure their loyalty/support (but only when the Hounds themselves don't need them).

>>55389959
Grimdark enough. They could work

>>55389959
Brutal, grimdark and efficient… I like it. Portrays the Hounds and their Regency as horribly pragmatic.

Just look into Valorn's eyes. You know he would do something like this.

>>55389959
Just imagine if Piter found out about these places haha.

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>the philosophy of Mot Hadad
The primarch of the XX Legion is of the opinion that he alone is fit to determine the destiny of the galaxy, that he will be the one to finally bring about a unified Humanity and usher in a glorious age where all will prosper under his iron boot. It is for this reason that he does not abide those who seek to gain a position of power over him. He sees Hashut as a tool to further his own ends, and ever strives to gain the means to strike down his daemonic master and perhaps take his place.

How Mot came about this belief is anyone's guess, but it was observed that he became much more aggressive and standoffish during his tenure as arbitrator of the Imperial council in the years after the Emperor's defeat on Ullanor.

(This last bit is open to change, but I imagined that Mot's experience of the Imperium's byzantine politics reminded him all too much of the inflated bureaucracy on his home planet and he decided enough was enough)

>>55391753
His philosophy makes a lot of sense, in a twisted 'massive asshole' sort of way.

Mot being a part of Imperial politics doesn't really add up. Primarchs and Astartes not being allowed to be part of the Council of Terra is a vitally important point, one that greatly contributes to the Separatist movement. Not to mention that at that time, Mot would still be way too busy with the Great Crusade.

>>55385624
>>55385840
>>55386042
Definitely an interesting read on inter-legion relationships. I liked it

>>55389959
Seems good man. The grimdark vibe is good

>>55391753
This seems like a good idea; and a crucial point of Mot's character development. I do think more should be expanded on this in your document. At least a minimal bit of writefagging.

>>55391753
What exactly does an "Arbitrator of the Imperial Council" do exactly?

>>55392450
Dunno. I made it up to sound like he's privy to the bickering and political shitflinging without actually having any real power.

>>55392403
Maybe Mot is sent to Terra to make sure its defenses are up to snuff in preparation for an anticipated xenos invasion of some sort? The fact that this invasion never occurs and he just wasted resources is another reason for him to dislike the Imperial government.

>>55392510
Since Raj building the Palace's defenses is kind of important for how the Siege goes down. If Mot had already done so, it'd not only be pointless for Raj to stay there after putting the Emperor on the throne, but it'd also make Marduk an idiot for not taking Mot with him to Terra.

>>55383281
Of the Union, yes, but not Gyahdred. His legion is too close to the Admech to not respect their abilities. Also creates disunity. Zelbezis says only Astartes matter, Piter cares about the mortals, Gyahdred speaks for the Magi.
I'm thinking that we have ideology out of control in both cases. It starts sane and spirals. The West is homogeneous, a dictatorship. The union is a bureaucratic aristocracy. Nothing is standardized. Outside the tech, anyways.
It's sort of like the US. Power to the people, but nobody agrees on what counts as people.

>>55392549
In that case we should find another reason for Mot to be privy to the inner workings of the Imperial council.

>>55393072
Primarch council created in an attempt to diffuse things.

>>55393072
Why would he even need to?

And that kind of diminishes Kincaid's grand heresy in emplacing himself as a Lord of Terra and Prime Ecclesiarch, since he's just one uping Mot, not being in a Traitor in all but named

>>55312395
I done deedly didderinoed a thing. Check it out.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rXRveUh46EuFwCEGWb5PUIFXfB_SQVNADWfrT30DfCo/edit?usp=sharing

>>55394304
Whoops, forgot my face.

>>55392923
So to clarify a bit, I'm thinking that the principle of "rule by the best" means something different to everyone in the Union.
When Gyahdred tried to implement his tax policy mid crusade, it meant "not these local aristocrats who only know how to play dress up and fight."
When Aristede took it, it meant "I'mma run things, not Je'She or Marduk."
When Zelbesiz and Valorn signed on, it meant "Astartes!"
I'm thinking the reality is that Aristede forms a council to help him rule. His great gift is getting good advisors and having everyone do what they're good at. He delegates really, really well.
So there's a council with seats on it for his brothers and for administrators, navigators, etc etc. They're there to advise him, not to make policy. This changes over time, after he dies, after Zelbesiz takes over and becomes a tyrant and has to be taken out.
They stop trusting single rulers after that and it becomes a council.
But by then, it's too late. The Navigators have seats, the Magi have seats, Astropaths have seats. Hell, Piter even probably has a single seat for the third estate.
The result is that the Congress exists to keep order. It does this by doing as little as possible.

Every so often somebody tries to get the Techmarines to take charge of the Forgeworlds, but the Forgeworlds refuse to honor it and the Navigators threaten to go on strike, etc. Besides, everyone knows that the only legion forge that can match a proper forge world is Stovokor and that's only because it is first and foremost a Forge World run by magi. Astartes just don't have the time to become magi.
Now, some Fabricator Generals may well have been Astartes, but it's probably quite rare. And they serve limited terms. Because they get to be so old, they can serve multiple terms, but non-consecutively, and since Gyahdred became a graphics card, it's by election, ratified by the auspices from Gyahdred's mainframe. They figure if the Omnissiah really wants to choose...

>>55394586
.. it'll hack the vote or the electorate. We suspect Gyahdred has done this on a few occasions, but there is no conclusive evidence one way or another.
When magi or legions have tried to hack the process, the auspicies reveal it via holy checksum.

Been at work for almost 2 days straight guys sorry.
any way here's my thoughts on some of the bigger things that came up on discord.

>Kane's Gunkata
doesn't really bother me as he isn't using it by any knowledge or choice. Basically he employs it then gets all smug about how great he is naturally without realizing that it is actually his own latent psychic abilities. Some others, such as Lambach and Emil, possibly Pacha notice it for what it is and just let it slide rather than risk antagonizing him.

> Elsu's Friends list
Elsu was close with Lambach, Marduk and Kincaid. Many others may have been fine with him but were never really close to him, Some would have been down right hostile.

>Terra fights.
I know Je'she wanted to fight Daemon Ashur
Isehko vs Pacha
Raj vs Kane
Lambach and Linares Tag team Daemon Kane
Kincaid vs Elsu works great
as the two were super besties at one point.
but there is plenty of time to do other, smaller fights where no side actually causes casualties. I actually would love to do a bit with Raj throwing all of his firepower at Lambach and then having Lambach walk through it like the T1000.

Bump

>>55395068
I'd love to see it too. Speak with Raj and do it!

File: 20170915_155841.jpg (4.57 MB, 4032x3024)

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1k points worth of Chosen. Don't get many models haha.
My conversion for Mendel has come out really nicely I think.

>>55397892
Looking good, mate!

>>55397892
What's up with einchurt?

>>55398707
Lol he's not painted yet, but I assume you mean the White terminator?
That's meant to be Gaius Mendel. The Chosen Head Librarian.
For 8th ed I'm using Salamanders rules for the Chosen. So Basically Mendel has the Salamanders Mantle. Mix that with might of Heroes power and he becomes Toughness 6 with 2+/5++. Make him the Warlord with Iron resolve and he gets 6 wounds with 6+FNP.
Unfortunately they took away Librarians storm shields or else he'd be a real tank.

>>55395068
>Gun-kata
It's not about the psychic powers, those are absolutely fine. The problem is mainly that I don't think gun-kata fits a cowboy Primarch all that well. I'd rather have him be an expert shot, but kinda crappy in melee (compared to other Primarchs).

If he gets into close quarters fighting, he'd still use his pistol, sure, but I'd absolutely place focus on the run and gunning above anything else.

>I actually would love to do a bit with Raj throwing all of his firepower at Lambach and then having Lambach walk through it like the T1000.
Hell yeah, I'm up for that.

>>55394586
>>55394621
>>55392923
Very well, these seem like perfectly adequate explanations.

>>55394304
>>55394323
I have to go right now, but I'll be sure to give you my full thoughts on this later. So far, it's been good.

>>55398779
Yeah, the Gun-kata seems OP too. OR weird at least. Shooting a sword and deflect it is difficult. Even for an expert gunner

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>>55399103
>Shooting a sword

>>55399256
>Shooty sword
Japs made it before. Not practical

>>55397892
Nice. I especially like the Dreadnoughts.

>>55400946

>>55394304
Alright, so.

First off, I really like how this piece starts. It captures the confusion that leads to many battles during the Brotherwar very well. It's also funny to me to see a character I just whipped up as a one-time throwaway, Ernst Granswindt, now interacting with a Primarch at the start of the Brotherwar, probably sealing his fate as a Separatist.

During the second part, I like how you portrayed the differences between the Souls and Lords, obvious as they may be. You also continue to portray that confusion and distrust very well. The forge world also has a clear identity, only after the short description.

Then the last part. The way the Primarchs interact is fantastic, Mot's a complete fucking dick, like he should be, and Emil's brutally honest response fits him well.

The fight was great, and the aftermath brutal.

Great piece, loved it. I really don't have much more to add to it than that. Like I've said before, you write a lot like the best parts of the Horus Heresy books, which is great by me.

>>55403281
Sweet, glad you liked it. I'm always a little afraid my writing comes off as unnecessarily florid or cumbersome, but it seems I managed to dodge that pitfall this time.

>>55394304
I like it, too. Enjoyable read! The confusion part is great. And holy fuck, Mot is such a dick.

>>55404799
That's how his author described him to me, so I pretty much drilled straight for it, lol.

>>55404893
Don't worry, it's fine. I like how you depicted him.

>>55404930
I guess now the next step is to work on Emil's encounter with maybe-Cawl from the soon to be SepMech.

Bump

With Mot as a unifying force, how do you imagine the dark mechanicum in the east develops after the heresy?

>>55409393
Hashut should have a great influence on them. Logically, I'd even imagine most of them falling to Hashut, but I don't want to restrict what the Dark Mechanicus does in such a way.

>>55409393
I could see the Forge Lords helping to maintain coherency amongst the Dark Mechanicum in the East. Depending on how coherent they themselves are.

boomp

>>55409802
Yeah, Of Mot's held them together pretty well the dark mechanicus is probably equally unified, but I honestly can't imagine the Forge Lords will stay particularly united for very long. After all, isn't one of Hashut's things greed? I have a feeling that people who worship the god of greed would probably start leaving the legion to fulfill their own desires, likely with a warband behind them

>>55413854
Yeah that makes a lot of sense. Anyone powerful enough would surely break away.
Though perhaps they'd legit be too afraid of Mot?

>>55413900
Maybe, but that might not stop the Forge Lords trying to follow their own agendas. Perhaps the Legion becomes home to the same kind of shady internal politics that Mot hated so much on his homeworld.

Bump

>>55415142
I think Chaos can wither away any loyalties, especially those who worship a god of greed. I'm with Valorn here, the Forge Lords could and would shatter, like all legions should, imo.

>>55417971

So, right now, our main points of focus need to be the Battle of New Hope, and the Siege of Terra. Anything in-between would be fantastic too.

After that, it's time for the Scouring, and after that, the waning of the Ruinstorm and the start of the Long War.

When does the Ruinstorm end in canon? Has that ever been clearly established?

>>55421186
Can't say as I know, but I think we were pegging our Ruinstorm to last 50-75 years, to let the Seps simmer for a while and Loyals vs. Chaos get some really vicious fighting done.

>>55421186
From the Wiki page
>In the wake of the defeat of Horus and the Forces of Chaos at the end of the Horus Heresy, the Ruinstorm would dissipate back into the æther as the power of the Chaos Gods waned with the defeat of their champion by the Emperor.

>>55421186
We really have the skeleton down for both I think, they just need some writing done to fluff them out.
We know what happens at each battle though for the most part. Now we just need to spice them up with smaller details.

>>55422875
Good. We should totally get on that.

We should also start by laying out the groundwork for what comes after. Black/Golden Crusades, whatever the Seps do, and more, all the way to M41.

>>55423752
I've got plans for Lambach to lead 1 black crusade searching for the Proteus Protocol. But not really sure the exact details of it yet.

>>55423752
You could always have like 6 Black Crusades target the Loyals, 6 target the Seps, and then the 13th is the biggest of them all having stolen resources and manpower and whatever else from both and poised to take Terra, but Chaos gets overconfident and forgets that Seps and Loyals *do* occasionally work together

>>55426150
and the BC gets its ass handed to it, which creates opportunities for brutal infighting between Seps and Loyals again, now that they're in close proximity and great numbers for the first time in a while. Just As Planned? Maybe, lol.

Another thing to remember is that several loyalist Primarchs were still around during some of the Crusades.
Dorn vanished in the 1st or 2nd one?
And I think he wasn't the last to do?

>>55421186
I think part of the problem is that half our legions are sitting that one out.

I mean I'm doing up some plans for the Dusk Phantoms against Mot's allies, but that's nothing to do with the other stuff.

>>55426526

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>>55426150
Considering the fact there's another faction in play, there might legit be more crusades. Like 13 Black Crusades and 7 Golden ones, if you wanna stick to religious symbolism.

>>55426174
By the time of the 13th Black Crusade, I imagine the Seps would primarily be occupied with Xenos threats. That way, end times comes down to Loyalists vs Chaos vs Separatists vs Xenos.

>>55426341
Dorn vanishes during the first one. Then he hides himself in the Imperial Palace as a Centurion

>>55426526
Not necessarily. The Seps would likely have a Scouring of their own, and the start of the Long War is significant for the Seps too.

Keep in mind that with Mot taking refuge in the Maelstrom, the Seps will have to deal with their own 'Eye of Terror'.

Brothers

The corridor stretched out before the two figures. The clean, tiled floor flanked by ornate columns covered in gold and silver filigree. Metal cherubim sat among finely crafted silver leaves that ran up the cold cream marble like ivy. The columns arched up high into the sharply pointed ceiling as cream marble turning into bronze beams. Tapestries hung down; detailing the majesty of Terra, The Imperium, and The Emperor.
Je’She strode down the corridor, ignoring the gilded beauty. He had seen enough of it during his time on Terra. He longed to be out on the battlefield. Revelling in the sheer joy of releasing his frustrations on those that had betrayed and deserted all they had built; but the Warmaster had duties to attend to, and that meant leading from the seat of power.

“Holy” Terra.

Kinnevail loped beside the Warmaster. The charred visage of the once handsome Primarch a stark contrast to the immaculate surroundings. The laboured rasping echoing off the walls and rising into the arches. Bandages and cloth hung off his face and armour. And burned hair stuck out between the ‘blessed’ fabric..

“Much has changed since you first arrived here, Kinnevail. I do not think that is for the better.” Je’She said. His lip curling in mild disdain as they past a group of Ecclesiarchy monks. They bowed and scraped like dogs as they walked past the Primarchs. He chose to ignore the wheedling voices that spoke of the “God-Emperor” and his “Blessed Sons”.

>>55428918
“What do you mean, brother? The Ecclesiarchy has kept Father’s Imperium together.” Kinnevail rasped. His words sounded hollow through his rebreather.

“I know. That is the only reason why I tolerate it,”
“I did not know my tribute to our God-father was yours to approve.”
“Our father was no God, Kinnevail. You know that to be true. You hide behind this facade of zealot and priest. You are not those things.”

“And what am I, ‘brother’?” Kinnevail’s hollow voice gained a subtle edge to it.

The Watchman turned to the Ruintongue.

“You are a Primarch of the Emperor. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Je’She led them out of the corridor, out to a viewing platform. A vast landing pad laid below them. Surrounded by high walls. Arches embedded in them with anti-air batteries placed along the parapets. Solar Auxilia and space marines patrolled the walls as huge landing transports offloaded hundreds of space marines. Doomsingers marched alongside Sentinels as Silver Swords and Titan Marchers stood in formation. Rhinos and Land Raiders rumbled out of ship holds as Dreadnoughts advanced with heavy strides.
Storm Eagles flew in formation above the pad amidst the landing transports as Thunderbolts rolled onto runways in preparation for transfer to Luna.
The defence of Terra was underway.

The Primarchs were silent for a moment, taking in the sight of the Loyalist warmachine.
“You say this, Je’She. Yet you are more than a Primarch. You are Warmaster. Leader of those who are faithful to our glorious God-Emperor. A steward of the righteous and shepherd of the true. A bulwark of the inno-”
“Enough!” Roared Je’She. He turned around to face Kinnevail, his expression a mask of anger.
“Do not feed me your lies. You may have convinced the people of our so-called righteousness, but I still remember of what we fought for. What we all fought for.”
Je’She advanced on Kinnevail, the tension in the air palpable.

>>55428934
Kinnevail’s eyes sparked in anger at Je’She’s words. “Step back, Je’She, lest you wish to be hurt.”
The Ruintongue’s voice grew harsh in anger, and he gripped his axe tighter.
“What, would you harm one of our Father’s ‘blessed’ sons?” Je’She remarked. He was angry, almost willing Kinnevail to strike.”

Kinnevail looked at his brother for a long time.
“You have changed brother,”
He turned away to oversee the loyalist muster.
“and not for the better.”
Je’She stood there, clenching his fists in rage. It almost seemed as if he would strike, but at long last his shoulders sunk; a long sigh coming out. He joined his brother, his hands resting on the guard rails as both Primarchs oversaw the last of the legionnaires disembarking from the transports.
The sun shone briefly fought its way through the rolling blankets of cloud overhead, striking upon metal and armour and illuminating everything in glorious brilliance, and was gone just as fast..
Je’She let out a heavy sigh,
“You are right.”
He looked down at Sentinel and Titan Marcher techmarines overseeing bunker emplacements as nearby Star Warriors discussed patrol logistics with Solar Auxilia personnel.
“So this is where we make our last stand. Our brothers have betrayed us for the mere notion of superiority, or have run off with the ruinous powers. Pacha, Raj and Linares stand with us. I receive reports of Solomon’s exploits beyond the ruinstorm, but wonder at his true intentions. I have received no word from Einchurt, yet his forces stand by ours. For that we must be grateful.”

>>55428946
He looked at Kinnevail
“We must stand strong, brother. We cannot fracture like this.”
Kinnevail looked up at the sky, searching for any sliver of light in the dark skies above.
“We must be united in our resolve. One in mind and soul. I hear of reports from the High Lords saying that the traitors consider us weak, that they close in on us at this very moment. They have taken nearly all of the systems from the Eye of Terror all the way to Holy Terra. My informants tell me that Marduk sees us as easy pickings.”
Je’She’s face was grim.
“Then we shall prove him wrong.”
There was a long, almost uncomfortable silence.

Then Kinnevail laughed.

A long, raspy laugh. The sound that would chill marrow to the core.
“Well put brother! Those few words are as good as any speech you are I could ever make. In fact, if we ever make it out of this, I shall write an epic worthy of our deeds! Then we shall feed it to these traitors, eh? Another harsh laugh rang hollow through his rebreather.
Je’She gave a grim smile,
“Indeed we shall, brother. Indeed we shall.”

>>55428918
>>55428934
>>55428946
>>55428954
Good stuff. It captures the weight on Je'She shoulders really well, but also the fantical madness of Kinnévail.

The one thing worth noting is that I don't think they'd refer to the growing religious order as the 'Ecclesiarchy' just yet. I imagine that by now, it'd still just be the Imperial Cult. Somewhere after the Siege, after Raj is dead, Linares is gone and the legions have been split, Kincaid declares himself Prime Ecclesiarch.

>>55428954
Was a great read.
Was hopeful to see a bit of a scuffle. Not sure how I feel about Kincaid threatening Je'she. Surely that fight would go bad for Kincaid. Lol.

>>55429367
Pretty sure Kinnévail would just Thu'um Je'She out a window

>>55429443
lel

>>55428918
>>55428934
>>55428946
>>55428954

I like this a lot, especially how it shows Je'She's slide into extremism and Kinnévail's pendulum swing from Pope Vader to chummy bard

>>55428918
>>55428934
>>55428946
>>55428954
>>55428954
This looks really good to me. I like how they're going and how they're sliding into that crazy state of affairs.

>>55421186
For the Dusk Phantoms the timeline is:
--Simultaneous with New Hope:
>Grethor
Then:
>Elcoa Massacre
Then:
>Assault on Kincaid's domains
Once word of Chaos opening a third front proper, Gyahdred withdraws from the assault on Kincaid and diverts to attack Chaos
When Aristede gives word:
>Heads East

Ruinstorm really gets going

>Campaign against Mot

Kyanon's fleet remains aloof from the fighting, patrolling the outer darkness, except perhaps a few later actions against Chaos.

I'll talk to Kincaid II about the assault there.

>>55409393
I think they go wild for a bit before having to take refuge in the Maelstrom zone.

>>55382272
To add to those 3 examples, another few concepts to work on:

>Forge that goes chaos, but doesn't like Hashut, opting for another deity.
Probably get turned by Marduk or someone else's priests directly and consider Mot as something of an upstart and usurper of the true Omnissiah.

>Forge that has a civil war and ends up declaring for Mot part way through
Pro-Chaos and Anti-Chaos forces clash on the forgeworld and Mot is able to get reinforcements there in time or something.

>Forge conquered by Mot early in his campaign. He doesn't really trust them and puts them under the command of some dudes, including covens from other forges. They rebel.

>One of Kincaid's forges. They hate the Union and assume that Mot is there to help them. Mot's smart enough to not to mention the whole chaos thing and they help him out. When they realize their mistake, it's too late.

>>55429486
>Pope Vader
That's a suprisingly apt description.

>>55428918
>>55428934
>>55428946
>>55428954
Mmm, tasty.

I like how ultimately Kinnevail gets to win the argument by fiat, because Je'She can't fully push back against the religious fervor with Marduk and his warriors looming over them all. That ought to spark some fun emotions and discussions worthy of elaboration later on. It's easy to build rivalries with your enemies, but much more interesting when allies butt heads.

File: Elsu.jpg (385 KB, 2364x1720)

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Tried to do Elsu.

Got bored

>>55431721
I never really considered the feathered eyebrows. I like him having regular hair, but I'm not sure if that's how ElsuAnon envision it. He suggested him having nothing but feathers, no hair.

>>55431805
We talking bird style, stereotypical NA headdress style or some combination of the two?

>>55431721
Where can I get commissions from you and how much are they

>>55428918
>>55428934
>>55428946
>>55428954
Good read, indeed! I may write something like this. Also, *Silver Blades. Good piece, anyway

>>55433783
Hopefully, free

>>55428918
>>55428934
>>55428946
>>55428954
Very good read!

Now I'm anxiously waiting for Je'She vs. Ashur

Off to see Father

The massive Palace stood in front of Linares and Pacha. They were feeling small. Insignificant. And yet, they had the future of the Imperium in their hands. A Custodes' Captain approached the Brothers, telling them to follow him. They walked through massive halls, many hundreds of meters tall. The very same halls that will taste blood and smell burnt gunpowder in a matter of days. The Custodes stood still at the sides of their path, watching them quietly, sometimes making gestures to greet the Primarchs, the sons of the Emperor. The very same Emperor that they failed to protect.

They were Custodes. They were made to not feel. They were meaty automatons clad in golden armor, whose only duty was to protect the Emperor of Mankind. And yet, they were ashamed of themselves. They weren't able to keep up the pace. They let the Emperor go down.

Many would cry in that very moment. If not because the sons of the Emperor, the men who had the duty of protecting Terra and the whole Imperium, were in front of them.

The Captain reached a even more massive door, made of solid gold. The Emperor was depicted on it, standing over a pile of beaten enemies.

"Now is time to leave your weapons here." Said the Custodes, while another two approached the Primarchs, ready to take their weapons.

Pacha gave his without much problem, but Linares tightened the grip over his sword. The Companion got on guard, the Captain got nervous.

"What? Do you *really* think that I'm here to kill *my* Father in front of my brothers?"
"Is just for security reasons, my Lord"
"This sword won't leave its sheath. You have my word, Companion."

And the doors opened. The Throne Room was nearly empty. Just the personal caretaker of the Emperor, and the Warmaster. The pair was standing still, in front of the Golden Throne, where the Leader of Humanity sitted.

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>>55435398
The two Brothers went to meet Je'She. A Companion walking behind Linares, keeping the distance. Just in case. Like if a Companion could win against the best swordsman this side of the Eye of Terror.

"Greetings, Warmaster" said Pacha
"Greetings, Brothers. I'm glad you came. Legions included! That's good." Replied Je'She
"We could only come, Brother. This is no joke." said Linares, with a serious tone that even worried Je'She.

The Emperor was noticeably aged, far more than the Primarchs expected.

"He looks way older. And...even rotten" pointed out Linares
"Yes...the Tech-Priests say that is something caused by the device." Replied the caretaker.
"He looks creepy, and yet powerful. I still feel the same as when he showed up in Kadir. A lot of things have changed, indeed..." said Linares.
"Indeed, Brother. Now, we are here, standing between our Father and our traitor brothers. I have been thinking for ways to engage them. But I had my doubts..."
"Father would certainly do the same, Warmaster. This is our duty. We are here to answer its call" Pacha replied.

The trio stood still for a little longer. After several minutes, Linares deattached the sword's sheath of his belt, and took the still sheathed sword. He kneeled, and swore by the Imperium and his honor, that no traitor would ever touch his Father.

The Companion relaxed. Pacha smiled and did the same. Je'She stood still, looking at his Father, while thinking "Father, if there are two of my Brothers to who I'd trust your protection, they are Pacha and Linares. You are in good hands."

Petition to make the official in-universe name of the separatists the Superium Astartes.

>>55438322
*Superium Astarte

>>55438322
We were discussing in voice chat about what to name the Seps/Union, and as a shitpost I had thrown out Superium as a joke, but it actually grew on us and we started thinking.

The idea is the Separatists are the exonym, its what the Imperium calls them. The entire state/region is the Superium Astartes, and its also called the Union, based on what the Maccrage region where the joint 'congress' of the state is, and technically applies only to that but is used to describe the state in many ways.

>>55438322
Superium sounds like a chemical element, lol.

>>55438322
Maybe something like Imperium/Imperio Veritas, since the Seps still follow the Imperial Truth as it was handed down to them from Big E?

File: Mapv6.jpg (3.36 MB, 4000x3401)

3.36 MB JPG

This is the map that Raj made to represent Separatist territory. The space scribbled over in red is the areas that sees the most conflict and change of territory.

>>55438521
Im pretty much married to Superium Astarte

>>55438987
Just sounds a little too much like "Superman" Astarte for my taste, like they're a comic-book league of B-list superheroes or something.

>>55439053
Well the biggest thing is that it sounds more 40k

>>55312395
So, a conversation with Raj was had, and some things were discussed. I copypasta'd everything from the chat because I can't be fucked to retype it all.

Food for thought:

Me: The Loyalists still control pretty much 2/3rds of the Galaxy, and probably the vast majority of Humanity.
So how have the Seps not been steamrolled? Obviously Chaos does Chaos things to survive and thrive, but the Seps are going to require plot armor out the ass for this to work.
There's just not enough weight that part of Ultima Segmentum can throw, even with the Imperium's usual grimderp incompetence.

Response: Freddie's leadership, superior tech, less bureaucracy.

Me: One caveat to the "tech" argument... this IS still 40k. A setting where the promise of learning and technology has been forgotten, where "progress" usually only, sometimes inevitably, leads to nothing but death and destruction. I'm not sure we can say "We just tech more better-er" without sounding like we're too cool for the setting and we're undermining one of its central tenets.
"Pushing themselves beyond" almost always transitions into "And then everyone dies in vain".

Response: A lot of their 'superior' tech simply comes down to things not being forgotten.

(I can agree with this for the most part. See the next post for a possible way to justify this happening)

Me: Devil's advocate here, anything the Seps do, surely the Loyals will adjust themselves to counter. They see Legions attacking, they'll raise their own Legions. They see superweapons deployed, they'll find their own. SepMech starts outstripping the Loyals and handing everyone their asses, they'll relax the regulations in secret, if not openly. Etc, etc etc.
Even the most fundie of fundies don't just take it in the ass blindly.

Response: Size vs Efficiency, STR vs DEX.

(Yeah, this might be okay. I think sheer manpower is still a stronger asset than most are taking into consideration though)

>cont.

>>55439726
So, an idea I had that might hopefully justify *how* the Seps get away with some of what they do.


1: Seps are running away, Chaos can't easily get to them in the immediate future.

2: So, Chaos hits the Loyals really hard again while they're trying to get back on their feet at YEAR XXXXX.

3: One of our Chaos authors gets to have a nice Moment of Awesome kicking ass and breaking things. The Loyals muster their forces as best they can, and lose badly.

4: As consequence of this loss, this is when they lose a lot of knowledge that the Seps will retain (Literally the Burning of Rome versus Constantinople's Walls remaining intact. Perfect historical justification).

5: Loyals simmer for a while, religion starts burning out of control, and then another Chaos strike comes in (Probably a Black Crusade).

6: And this time, Faith with a capital F repels the creatures which tech could not. Convincing many Loyalists that indeed, technology cannot be their savior, and should not be their focus.

And then at least this gives a logical path for why they don't aggressively pursue technology in the face of the Seps *succeeding* with technology despite the Grimderp Idiot Ball usually kneecapping any such attempts.

Rock paper scissors: Faith beats Daemons, Daemons beat Technology, Technology beats Faith.

Simple, probably too simple if I'm honest but easy to keep consistent so we're all marching in unison as authors, which will reinforce the setting as a whole.


So, let's see what you guys think. This was mostly a spur of the moment series of thoughts I had, but they might prove useful in the end. I feel STRONGLY that any and all handwavium on the Seps' behalf must be reduced wherever possible, so that any handwavium we DO retain is justifiable rather than self-serving/circlejerky.

I see what you did there. Yeah, I'm agree. That seems a logical path.

>>55439765
I agree also, I reckon this'll work well. Minimises the handwavium whilst working to bring both Imperium and Union to the state we want them in (e.g. Imps are religious fanatics while the Seps have good tech and remain a thing)

>>55439726
Let me expand on some of the answers I gave here. Here's a couple of reasons I think the Union could survive against the Imperium.

>Jon-Frederic's leadership
This can actually be expanded to include Primarch leadership in general. Unlike the Imperium, the Union is lead by seven Primarchs. At the end of the day, Primarchs are simply better leaders than the High Lords. Any sort of offense the Loyalists would try to set up, would be countered directly by seven Primarchs, with Fred probably being the 'best Primarch'.

>Superior Tech
This answer is twofold. On one hand, you have to consider that, since the Union/Superium is less dogmatic, the SepMech is more efficient in it's datakeeping. This means the Seps lose less tech, which eventually becomes quite the advantage. On the other hand, the Seps have Magos like Belisarius Cawl, who do not shy away from invention and innovation. If given the chance, the Separatists could certainly bust out some fancy and annoying toys for the Loyalists to contend with.

>Less Bureaucracy
These Astartes controlled states are way smaller than the Imperium is, and almost exclusively military endeavours. I mean, these states are (1/3)/(1/7)th of the Imperium, give or take, and ruled far more directly. Response times should be much quicker, especially when taking things into account like Emil's Soul Wires.

>Greater number of Astartes
After the Brotherwar, the Imperium greatly distrusts Astartes. As such, they never make enough of them to get them back up to legion size. Once a lot of the massive Xenos threats set in, the population is reduced even more. The Imperium starts to rely more and more on mortal forces, like the Imperial Guard, Inquisition and Sisters of Battle. The Union however, never really significantly reduces it's Astartes population; why would they? Few things can effectively stand against Space Marines, except Space Marines.

>>55443481
>STR vs DEX
At the end of the day, the Imperium is huge and bloated. Powerful, but not exactly nimble or adaptable. The Superium is much smaller, and while it's able to muster less of a military force (fewer auxillaries and more varied tasks for Astartes in matters of state), it can adapt to threats much more quickly, and respond with adequate force. This means that both states are perfectly capable of defending themselves against the other, and keeping the war going for millenia.

>>55439765
This Rock, Paper, Scissors analogy really makes sense to me. So that's certainly a justification we should keep in mind. Difficult to say which one of the Chaos Primarchs should take charge on the attack that devasates the Imperial records, but I'm gonna put forward Isekho? He's not particularly involved with any post-Heresy events so far. I don't think this should necessarily be done by the Leviathan Host and our !Abaddon (who I'm gonna be making a post about in a bit).

The only real addendum to this I have, is related to the first point:

>Seps are running away, Chaos can't easily get to them in the immediate future.
This isn't entirely true. Mot holes himself up in the Maelstrom, and he serves at the primary Chaotic threat against the Superium. Fortunately for the Seps, Mot may be an asshole, but atleast it can be said that he has very little interest in destroying advanced technology.

So yeah, I think this is certainly something worth considering. Anyone else have any input on this?

About our !Abaddon: I know Marduk was planning on having the role be fulfilled by a powerful Chaos sorceress. Now, I see where he's coming from here, but I personally think it's really hard to justify the primary Traitor legion being lead by a mortal, even if she's a powerful psyker.

To me, it seems much more credible to have an actual Space Marine, Marduk's second in command, be in charge 'officially', but have the Sorceress use him as nothing more than a puppet through which she can lead the Leviathan Host, and most Chaos Marine forces by proxy.

>>55439765
This all works for me, except the bit of Seps running away from Chaos, I don't get the impression that's exactly what they are doing, but I do agree that perhaps chaos would attack the Imperials as a priority, giving the Seps a bit more breathing room. Just because of where the Emperor is and at the end of the day most of the Choas Primarchs have thrown all of their toys out of the pram because Daddy upset them.
I'd say give Isekho lead the first black crusade into Imperial space. We can probably off one of the Imperial Primarchs here? Perhaps Pacha turning into a planet? Lambach could lead the first Black crusade against the Seps maybe as he is seeking a pretty advanced and almost mythical piece of technology?
>Rock paper scissors: Faith beats Daemons, Daemons beat Technology, Technology beats Faith.
This is actually kind of a cool way to think about it.

>>55443481
>Greater number of Astartes
Not sure if the Loyalists would have less so to speak but they'd certainly be spread far more thinly and perhaps in the smaller number of chapters rather than Legions?
>>55443511
>Seps are running away, Chaos can't easily get to them in the immediate future.
I agree with you 100% here. As we definitely want to keep the 3 way war balanced all the way through to MK41, A three way showdown with any side striking any other side. Though when Chaos becomes a big enough problem perhaps grudging alliances might occur?
>>55443547
I also agree with you here. The Abbadon figure really should be a marine. I'd have the Sorceress behind the scenes pulling the strings. She is the one that is really in charge but Abaddon stand in doesn't know it and thinks he is the Big Show.

>>55438665
We need to mark Shatterskull down for Grudug Toofmonger!

>>55443547
If we assume the Leviathan Host to have an equal mentality like the Black Legion, I would agree as well.
I do believe otherwise, though, since this time around the Chaos Traitors aren't motivated by Astartes hubris but instead genuine religious apostasy. Even when not officially declaring for Chaos, yet, the Leviathan Host already has very strong esoterical elements as far as I am aware, and I believe it is far more likely to have them respect people who are not astartes if they are undoubtedly blessed by the gods, instead.

In this regard I kind of see this particular Chaos sorceress as the Chaos equivalent of Saint Celestine. That she is supported by a high-ranking Leviathan Host commander only further cements her leadership position.

>>55444301
>Implying Choas isn't plagued by boundless ambition lack of respect outside huge power demonstrations

Even the most powerful chaos Astartes have people actually backstabbing them 25 hours per day, 8 days per week. Sheer respect won't make Choas Astartes bend towards a mere human. Even if she manages to reunite a force big enough, she will get backstabbed so hard that Khorne would cry. And, not being an Astartes, she may very well end fighting for power against a Daemon Prince. You may be a powerful sorceress, but it isn't that easy to beat a Daemon Prince

>>55444301
>>55444632
I doubt even religious fervor could change the Astartes' basic nature in that sense. Space Marines in general, and Chaos Marines especially, really don't take kindly to being ordered around by mortals.

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>>55443547
I came to similar conclusions myself, I was also pretty unhappy with her whole backstory. About a week ago I scrubbed the whole section and I'll be rewriting it.

Essentially, my plan for the character now is a lot more religious and a lot less combative. To the extent that, she has no official power to command the legion or it's sub-divisions, but being essentially the primary prophetess of the LH's religion, she is afforded an advisory position that essentially amounts to veto power and a power-behind-the-throne control. The comparison to the Bretonnian Fey Enchantress seems apt. She would never control the forces directly but has final say, if she chooses to speak at all, in nearly all matters. An open disagreement between her and the acting Warmaster would almost always result in her will being chosen over his, though such situations would be pretty rare.

Also, she's being changed to having been Marduk's personal navigator.

>>55446635
>>55448482
Reminds me of the Blessed Lady. Not a bad thing, mind you.

>>55448482
Sounds good. Do you have any particular ideas for !Abbadon? Or will he just be Little Marduk?

>>55448878
Maybe the Choas gods could just bound Marduk's soul to a Daemon or something

>>55449922
Maybe, dunno. It's important to consider that the Choas Gods do actually have Marduk's soul; the Emperor doesn't erase his from existance.

>>55450717
Brain Ghost Mardy?

>>55443702
>>55443511
I guess I should be more specific what I meant by "Seps Running Away".

I meant more in the sense that eventually, whenever and however it happens, the Seps re-orient towards the further parts of Ultima Segmentum, more distant from both Terra and the Eye, and therefore put some space between them so they're not as easily reachable as they would be had they stayed and fought for a closer Segmentum.

>>55451180
Maybe the Gods, or the Sorceress, hold him hostage for some reason? Or, maybe the Emperor is keeping him within the Chaos Wastes?

>>55453646
>Marduk suffers a fate worse than death
>Being lectured by Dad for ten millennia

>>55453776
>"REASON NUMBER FOUR MILLION FIVE HUNDRED AND SIX WHY YOU FUCKED UP: LOOK AT PACHA, MARDUK. HE HAD SO MUCH OF THE SHIT YOU CAUSED THAT HE WENT AND TOOK A NAP. A MILLENIA-SPANNING ONE. YES, THE SON THAT I DESIGNED TO BE COMPLETELY UNTIRING GOT TIRED OF YOUR SHIT."
>"Dad, that's the two hundredth-time you've repeated that reason."

>>55455845
>Dad why haven't you mentioned Mot once in all this time?
>Mot was always a shitter, it's not your fault. Entirely.

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>>55453646
Way back when I thought his soul be shattered by the Gods and thrown in pieces into the Warp.

Eventually, ten thousand years later eventually, he'd be vomited forth from the deepest pits of the Immaterium as a messenger of the Warp itself. The Warp is a hungry beast, and it had waited too long for it's squabbling children to prepare the feast of Realspace that it so desired, so it sent creates a servant of it's own to unify their squabbling worshipers.

That was all just random shower thoughts though, and frankly seems too similar to stuff I've already done in AUs. So I'm open to suggestions.

>>55456234
Ok, so Marduk fails to kill E-Money on Terra.
The Chaos gods are going to be pissed. Maybe he gets pulled into the warp and punished and toughened up, seeing as he was able to get killed by other primarchs. Like he wasn't a daemon yet.
So he goes and does massive DBZ training on Chaos Kai and ends up returning as the LEGENDARY SUPER PRIMARCH DAEMON 10,000 years ago. Right in time to finish what he started...

>>55456028
>"Reason number ten thousand millions, three thousand a forty seven millions one hundred fifteen thousands. The reason why Linares is a fucking alcoholic is because you fucked everything up. He was doing great, and then you came and ruined everything. Is your fault."
>"But, Dad, Linares isn't an alcoholic, and he didn't changed after what I did!
>"Shut up and listen to the reason ten thousand millions, three thousand a forty seven millions one hundred fifteen thousands and one."

>>55456234
That could help. Is similar but works, so idk. The "chained soul" thing could be a good way too, like punishing Marduk for failing, and doing so by avoiding him to completely die, instead being used for shit like rituals and such by his old Legions

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>>55456234
It could be fun to have Marduk return around M41 like so:

After his failure on Terra the Gods punish Marduk by making him stare into the warp itself, straight into the deepest abyss. This fucks him up, and by the time they relieve him, he's no longer Marduk Engur, but the Whispers of the Warp itself.

>>55456892
I suppose it would entail a massive boost in power. Keep in mind that when Horus enters the portal on Molech and returns with powers much like the Emperor, it is said to have physically aged him, even though seemingly only a matter of minutes passed in realspace. This time, the Gods make sure it lasts as long in realspace as it does in the warp.

Would that mean the 13th Black Crusade could be the return of the Warmaster? The Crusade of Whispers?

>>55460665
I like this idea of Marduk's return with the 13th Black Crusade. Sounds real neat.
1 thing though. If he comes back as strong as post Molech Horus and there is no Big E, who the hell has a chance to stop him?

>>55461155
Everyone else?

>>55461155
BACK FROM HIS TEN-THOUSAND YEAR ABSENCE: WARBOSS THUNDAKOOOOOOK!!!

>>55461291
>WARBOSS REPULSIV

OI YA GITZ AFTER TEN THOUSAND YEARS IM BACK, TIME TA KRUMP EARF

>>55461314
>BIG MEK FINSTA

>>55461155
"1 ON 1 ME, I DARE YOU"
Linares after seeing Marduk in the 13th Black Crusade