Now before you get thy panties in a bunch about all this exposition I would like to add that it's necessary to hear the context of everything before I even talk about the campaign.


HUMAN
The majority of beings in Zeini are human, and as such, almost all conveniences are built around them. Humans are the most well-rounded and capable of nearly all tasks of all other races, and are generally prone to great ambition. They will rarely receive any form of discrimination, and blend easily into crowds.
HALFLING
As one of the most secluded and isolated races in Zeini, Halflings- whose characteristics resemble shorter and hairier humans- are in stark contrast to most taller counterparts. They largely reside in the Aeroclypse, a massive sprawling underground structure of unknown depth and size on a seaside island called Mage’s Bane. Halflings are known as the last race that still largely uses and creates magic, and almost all spellbooks and spell scrolls originate from the Aeroclypse in some form or another. After centuries of war, a treaty was eventually made, allowing the creation of lower-level, legal spells in Zeini-- but the Aeroclypse still produces many illegal spells, distributed amidst the continent. Halflings are generally seen as paranoid, wiry, sly-- and highly intelligent. However, they are often victim to racism, for their magic-tarnished reputation.
DORISH
One of the many victims of the Tragedy of Wizardry, the Dorish are a race of once-human mutants which used to inhabit a small coastal town on the southern end of Zeini. During the Grand Wizard’s rampage, they were collectively halved in size and muscle mass, and lost the ability to breed with anybody not afflicted by the Dorish curse. By some miracle, they managed to survive and prosper, and grew into what is now classified as their own race. They are weaker in stature, less capable of combat, and considered inferior by some, but retain some of the magic from the spell which made them that way.
>cont

ELF
In the mountains within northern Zeini, infamous, feared and manipulative elven tribes and clans can be found, inhabiting caverns, taiga forests and mountainscapes alike. One of the consequences of the magic ban, elves have slowly devolved from peace-faring spellcasters to people of strength, reduced to the basest and most awful methods to survive in their harsh homeland. They retain their natural beauty and height, but have abandoned magic so far that few still know how to cast.
BEETLE
Originating an unknown amount of time ago in the Valley of Spit, buried within cavern systems and homes dug into the mountains, Beetles remind an observer more of insect than man. They have thick, tough shells, and a short and heavy stature, growing and gaining weight as they age. Beetles once largely kept to themselves-- but that did not stop them being forced out of their residencies after the Tragedy of Wizardry to prevent suspected magic activities. Now, with the caves collapsed and their hovels filled, Beetles find places to exist where they can, despite their alien appearance and speech.
ORCAIL
Some believe the Orcail were delivered unto Zeini by their gods; they are a traditionally faithful people, having been born in the abundant flatlands of the west, where they quickly moved past simple civilization for organized religions. Their capital city of Capita Zeine remains the second-largest on the continent, and Orcail are second in population to humans overall. Many Orcail do stray outside the walls of their faithful settlements and find ambition elsewhere, though they make up a minority, being either criminals of the land they came from or those with a separate- or nonexistent- faith. These bulky, sage creatures are still quite unlike the vicious Orcs of old, whom historians believe were their ascendants.
>cont

KOBOLD
Before the Tragedy of Wizardry, the Grand Wizard granted the human capital city of Ab Platinum with his selection of kobolds, a race previously thought to have been wiped out. The Grand Wizard had imbued these kobolds’ very genetic makeup with a curse that forces them to follow human-made commands to a letter, and disallows them from causing harm or property damage. Kobolds retain cognition, but are utterly bound to the commands of humans around them, making them very effective- and almost always lifetime-bound- slaves. Due to Ab Platinum’s complicated and tedious government restrictions, they do not make up the entire workers’ force, allowing some of the populace to continue working their old jobs.
GOBLIN
Outsiders of Zeini, goblins are most well known as ruthless and effective seafarers; many varieties act as traders to the islands surrounding the continent, as well as transport, while yet others take position as pirates, raiding seaside settlements and camping temporarily on the mainland. They are a bit slow (mentally and physically) and short, but they make up for most weaknesses in numbers. Few can integrate into society effectively, and they are almost always treated as outcasts. Their Orcail and Kobold ancestry, dating back thousands of years, has much to do with this separation-- but even races that dislike Goblins cannot dispute their usefulness as trade partners or mercenaries. As they rarely form any civilized society, their exact numbers are unknown.

Races are done. And if it seems like I copy/pasted all of this I did. Now for the campaign.

THE PARTY
>Chessex Walkman, Orcail, Affinity 6
A funky former guard that is the shit of the group.
>Rennac, Elf, Affinity 4
A tricky thief with a heart of gold, is mostly the face of the party.
>Click, Dorish, Affinity 10
Quiet spoken secondary spellcaster of the group. Also morbid.
>Queek, Kobold, Affinity 10
Trickster fuckface that gets into trouble. Also other spell caster. (me)
>Lady Fork (npc), Beetle, Affinity ???
Queek's drunk stepmom.

The story starts in a "destroy all humans" rally at the Many Legged Chalice.
Chessex was sent to the rally to make sure they aren't planning to attack the town of Jud of the East, but before Chessex can enter the grounds he gets stopped by some random guy, but is let through after a really weird conversation where almost instantly he tripped over a goblin drinking from an entire keg spilling it all over him. After some yelling Chessex manages to get over to the tent housing Lady Fork and Queek. Rennac was also following Chessex at this point. Chessex speaks to the leader of the rally and Rennac makes himself known. As it turns out Lady Fork and Rennac have a history that never happened with robbing banks. We go out to the tea tent with the leader and have some tea with Chessex who asks them if they're planning anything violent. The leader says that they are pacifists. Some back and forth debate begins, but ends up going nowhere. Chessex finished with his job starts heading back to his carriage, but not before almost getting shanked by some rando goblin. Some fighting happens with us knocking one goblin and smashing in the head of another.
I see this goblin holding a scroll so I use a spell and blink it into my hands. It's a bounty to harm Chessex by this guy called the Artificer. After getting back to the carriage Chessex sees the driver dead so he takes his ID and rides off back to Jud of the East us in tail.

>cont

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Chessex gets stopped by some Beetle bandits.
>Get out of the fucking cart!
>Yeah ok
Fucker walks out of carriage and starts walking to Jud of the East.
>Whaa, what are you doing
>What you want more
He pulls out the horse drivers ID.
>You want food, water, or fuckin'
He pulls out everything in his pockets and the Beetles get so perplexed by this they just end up letting him go. Now nothing else really happens on the journey to Jud of the East except for a shared dream where we're flying, but I digress. Chessex finally makes it to Jud only to discover the captain of the guard sent Chessex out there to die or worse, then the captain fires Mr. Walkman from the force. Chessex says some pretty harsh shit and gets axes thrown at him so he takes the horse from the carriage and rides off north.

When we get to Jud we find a shitload of axes in the ground and a group of guards not wanting to let us in. You see in Jud they have this curfew policy where if you're not back in the city by -insert time here- they'll shut the city gates and not let anyone in. So the people that get locked out set up a camp and wait till morning to be let back into the city. We equated this to a refugee camp and someone made the joke,

>imagine you're this little girl that goes off into the wilderness to get flowers and ingredients for your fathers medical alchemy shop. So you pick your flowers and get to the city a second after they're meant to close the gates and the guards say "go to the refugee camp you fucking little shit."

After a night in the refugee camp we figure out Chessex fucked off north towards this thing called the Artifacts Guild.

>cont

Chessex stays a night at this old mans Inn and we managed to catch up with him. We debate on where to go until I say that we could join the Artifacts Guild and after some debate everyone agrees. After a small timeskip we make it to the smooth ominous building that is the Guild and meet a man at the counter named Carl LastnameIforget and fill out an application. Turns out these applications can take months to fill out so we go to the nearby town to wait out the app process. We all decide being hobos in a tavern wasn't such a good idea so Rennac manages to golddigger right into this dumb (but pretty) rich ladies heart. I don't really know of what became of that as I wasn't there for the next session, but he have a house now. We never use it later, but we do end up being let into the Guild Simon likes us. Also Simon is the leader of the Guild (I keep saying Guild, but it's more like Simon picks a team to go shit for him). We meet Simon and almost immediately given our first mission. The mission? To steal this giant fucking crystal held by this woman named Sam Briggs who runs the local sheep dance. The crystal powers this body making device that as the name says makes bodies. We make a plan to steal the crystal.

We will all be hiding under the stage of the crystal then when the heat is low phase is through the floor.
I will be holding a replica of the crystal and when it's phased I run out from the stage and create a distraction so the real crystal can be smuggled out. I would also like to note I was wearing earmuffs the entire time so I couldn't take orders from the guards.

>cont

The plan surprisingly works. We managed to distract the guards and I managed to get away, but...the person we didn't distract was good ol' Sam Briggs. She tries getting the guards attention, but they're all gone after me so she chases Lady Fork through the street. When Rennac finally catches up to Lady Fork she's hit Sam in the face with the crystal and is about ready to bash her head in. Rennac manages to calm both of them down and run off with the crystal.

And that's the end of part one of The Party's Bizarre Adventure.
I'll start the next part later as I need to take a break.