>>54036165
>Expand the new XVIIIth legion
Gimme the deets my man.

>>54036165
I've realized that the Leviathan Host has a shit name. I'm gonna change it. Suggestions for a new name? Leviathan Host just doesn't pop the way a space marine chapter/legion name should.

>>54036192
The something else Host, surely.

>>54036192
Perhaps just "The Leviathans"?

>>54036165
Also fucked up and put wrong previous thread, THIS is the true last thread http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/53944330/

>>54036165
You shouldn't just straight up copy the OP man, now it refers to the thread before it.

>>54036192
Leviathan is pretty good… you should keep that bit.

>>54036165
YAY SILVER BLADES EDITION

>>54036221
I dunno, it sounds like they should all be fucking huge with a name like that. Besides, Leviathan should never be plural according to them.

>>54036233
Leviathan is the main thing I had a problem with. It's too long for a constituent part of a chapter name.

>>54036347
Any specific terms you used in Marduk's origin that could be a source?

>>54036347
Abzu?
T-h-m-t?
(Tehomt, Tiamat, etc etc.)

>>54036165

>>54031849
Again, aw shucks.

>>54032437
If I choose to take Emil down that route and not just leave that story as a "Dark Vision that might have been" sort of thing, only the Primarch himself and his Terquo (1000 marines) would actually fall to Chaos.

Legion leadership would then devolve to the 10 Soulshroud Praetors and Aptathos, more than likely.

In terms of actual military strength goes, 99% of the Steel Souls would remain in the Separatist camp.

Emil would presumably get a massive power boost as a Daemon Primarch, finally unshackling himself from all his previous self-imposed restraints (ironically, enacted for the very purpose of preventing Chaotic corruption in the first place), but he'd be a little like Mortation from then on. Hating himself for what he's done, secluding himself to reduce the chances he ever comes to blows with his gene-children, and only rarely acting outside of the Maelstrom.

He would become the eternal tyrant of Nonimat IV, ruling over them as a dark mirror to what had once been, but with little ambition for galactic conquest.


I do think it might be an interesting way to have Emil "die", is the primary utility of this story option. Emil's not written as a very aggressive or reckless Primarch, he's rather cautious and insular. He also doesn't have many deep rivalries with the other Primarchs. Logically, a man of his character would remain largely apart from Galactic events as much as possible, especially since protecting his "family/Legion" is almost as high a priority as anything else.

Which implies that barring Deus Ex Machina or jobbing a fight for jobbing's sake... Emil would probably survive to the 40th Millennium. He's very good at concealing himself and surviving if he has to.

And although I don't think the group has really weighed in one way or another (Please correct me if I'm wrong), I would imagine the Loyalist and Separatist Primarchs are *not* intended to make it to M40, correct?

>>54036165
Sweet pic, yo.

>>54036192
>World Serpents
>Deathcoils
>Deep Crushers
>Black Abyss
>Seabed Kings
>Subductors
>Benthic Host
>Mercurial Ascendants (themes of both Chaos/quicksilver, deadly poison (mercury), rising in power and rising pressure in mm of mercury. hits a lot of interesting notes especially for the scientific-minded)

>>54037721
Space Serpents? Space Snakes? Maybe use Astral instead of Space?

>>54037900
"Snakes" doesn't really have enough gravitas to it, imo.

>Conda Legion lolololol but actually maybe a little srs

Anaconas + Condor Legion, always a winner. The Condors certainly caused some Chaos in Spain, eh?
(Also you get to make Guernica references in there somewhere for maximum culture and pathos)

>>54037971
Maybe "Legio Ancondor" or something would be better, to blur the references a little more smoothly. Or something.

>>54037971
>>54038020
>Condor
Wait, that's my thematic domain

>>54038089
That, and the whole 'deep sea' thing is kind of big for the First.

>>54038089
I didn't mean literally giving them a bird/Condor theme, I was just riffing off of how Anaconda and Condor sound similar-ish.

>>54038153
Just idle brainstorming on my part, nothing more.

>>54037545
The Seps have a few Primarchs surviving to M41, Gyahdred Piter and Valorn to name the ones whose fates are known at the mo. As for the Loyalists, Linares goes full Doom Marine mode (starts killing daemons and just doesn't stop) and Pacha becomes a planet. Really, the only Primarchs we know die at this point are Raj, Marduk, Rokuten and Zelbezis.

Honestly, I'm kinda glad the seps seem to have more active primarchs than the OU imperium does. I think the seps kind of need some of their primarchs to stick around, for cohesion if nothing else. The Separatist primarchs are in many ways one of the greatest driving forces behind the movement's victories. For them all to kick the bucket would probably spell doom for the Union, as it could easily fall apart into petty, squabbling little empires that could be easily conquered by the Imperium.

>>54037971
What about Astral Serpents?

>>54036347
Perhaps "Sons of the Deep" or something to that effect

>>54038345
Hmm. Well, that's a perspective I hadn't really considered.

Damn, I really don't know what direction to take things now.

>>54038345
Pacha actually was a planet
(Pun)

I'm going to stick a LED to this, so when a joke is told, it turns on.

Interstellar reference, anyone?

>>54038677
Yeah man, you can't just run off and become a Daemon Primarch. You's a PARENT now. You's got RESPONISBILITIES an' shit.

But it all seriousness, take it whatever direction you want. Piter and Gyahdred have bitten the bullet and become stay at home moms, so you're free to gallivant and achieve apotheosis as often as you please while they take care of the Separatist's baby.

>>54036165

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Okay people, stop fucking up the OP. I went to the "previous thread", and it was XVII, not XVIII.

Did you even archive the previous thread?

>>54039323
I direct your attention to camera three
>>54036226

>>54037721
I like the Mercury in there for the symbolism. Perhaps something with Cinnibar or Vermilion?
I'll look at some alchemical stuff later.

>>54038469
Sky Serpents!

>>54038345
>>54038677
Let's see if I can get this typed up before I have to go...
So what I'm picturing for the seps is this:
A rather tight, pretty efficient state built around a strong central government. They've got the Soul Wires for regular, efficient communication across the domain, they also help transit, like a hybrid telegraph/railway. They can expand it, too, but it takes time and effort and if there's a break in the system, the trains get derailed. Still, throughout the East, you can generally get where you want to go and send messages. It's as close to a Galactic Empire as you'll get in 40k.
With this, though, it's an intricate machine and doing something like mobilizing for war impacts the entire system. It's a massive bureacracy, less that it's horrifically innefficient than the system is so big that it takes work to divert the needed resources.
You'll get what you need, and it will be good quality. Eventually. But trains. And switching trains.

To sort of parallel this, I'm thinking if the Nids show up, the Dusk Phantoms see it, hold the line for a while, take massive losses, Piter does a huge defense in depth kind of a deal. It's to buy time for the network to divert the resources and bring the bug killing toys out of cold storage. But when the counter comes, the hive fleets are totally wrecked. They've been lured deeper into a transit system they can't use and are surrounded by a sectors wide industrial system. It's like they ran into the great crusade.

But they can't do that with the Western Imperium or Chaos. They'd need to lay track and wire and defend the switch points. And that takes time. It takes years to build a rail depot. And, infuriatingly, the West is wholly compartmentalized. Even if they lose a sector, the system as a whole keeps chugging along.

>>54036165
BTW, did Rokuten commission that image, or did you?

>>54039685
T'was Rokuten

>>54039634
The relatively large size/low density of Ultima Segmentum is also going to be a major factor.

It's not quite like the Eastern Roman Empire where Greece/Anatolia had large populations, I imagine it'll be more like Canada/Russia with incredible amounts of raw resources and high potential for growth relative to the relatively cramped Imperium, but the population concentrated in a handful of scattered sectors. Macragge and its immediate surroundings being an example.

>>54039634
It's like when the Mongols got to Europe and after squishing everything they'd come across, saw all the castles they'd have to take one by one and the extreme length of the supply lines and said NOPE.
It goes from trains everywhere to the Atlantic full of U-Boats.
By the same token, the East is really hard to invade, but because the West doesn't have to reorient its whole transit network to do it, they can do it more often. It doesn't get them very far, but they can keep spamming crusades.

And chaos just lives to fuck with the network, so the Commisariat and the Secret Police are constantly looking for them and engaged in running battles.

So it's sort of like the East is WWI Germany or Prussia in the 1870s. Really well organized massive machine of a state. And if they are up against something they can prepare for, it's a bloodbath, either like France falling in a matter of months, or it turns into the Western Front.
But the West is all diffuse and feudal. It's like the US trying to invade Iraq or Vietnam. They can topple a regional government, but there's no center to it and there's a thousand angry militias.

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>>54038345
>Pacha becomes a planet
Nigga what
>>54039634
>So what I'm picturing for the seps is this:
>A rather tight, pretty efficient state built around a strong central government.
Besides the Ogre Legion. Sometimes. When they don't have their shit together. Like in the tenth Civil War to decide whether to remain with the Seps or not.

>>54037721
If I were gonna equate the Leviathans with any metal or metal-like substance it would be verdigris. Bronze verdigris.

I like Benthic Host, Benthic specifically has been a word that's really stuck with me in relation to the legion. Maybe Reavers or Raiders or something, given their heritage and combat MO. Maybe Sons of Tiamat or Benthic Sons.

I'll think on it over tonight. As it is, Leviathan Host sounds good to me but only because I've said it a lot in my head. I'd like to keep it, but I know it could be better.

>>54040786
Benthic Reavers feels good on the tongue, I think.

What do you guys think about Mot's loadout being his chainmaul and just a normal bolter? Upon reflection I think Mot doesn't need to be on the taller side for the primarchs.

>>54042069
Is the chainmaul a one-handed weapon?

>>54042126
It can be. I was imagining something like a flanged mace with chain blades on the flanges.

>>54042147
Seems like it'd be hard to press a mace into the target long enough to really get much cutting done compared to a sword, but sure. And it feels like a waste to have four or more cutting edges but only be able to apply one at a time, too.

At least if it's one-handed it's easy enough to swap between melee and ranged combat. I see no problem with the loadout as stated, I only question its utility.

>>54042179
Chainsaw swords are ridiculous too though.

>>54042560
Ridiculous yes, but not at the same level as a multibladed chainmace. You've got motors and blades pointing all over the place, guaranteeing at least some of your force is always wasted, you see?

>>54042602
No, it's just as ridiculous. In fact, the extra weight probably helps.

>>54042650
I think we're going to have to agree to disagree, then.

If *I* was to do a Chainhammer/mace type deal, I'd do it with a bigass Hammer of Sigmar type weapon with one large, broad crushing head.

Then I'd create a recessed area in that hammer face within which I'd install many, many, many rows of chainblades, all rotating in alternate direction for maximum grinding effect, like a plowed field except the field is planted with monomolecular death instead of corn.

And then when you strike someone, all the force is in a single direction, and all the teeth benefit from it. And instead of making a long gash in someone, the hammer basically chews and mangles a big square hole in the target, shredding anything it touches to a far greater extent than a normal chain weapon.

Hell, I might do that myself anyway, come to think of it. Call it a "Kannav-pattern" Chain Hammer.

>>54039740
Ooh, transiberian railway!

>>54042747
Damn dude, I like that better than my idea. It fits more with the Forge theme as well.

>>54042914
Pretty much. The Steel Road is just a bunch of Forge Worlds, and the Soul Wires are just telegrams, but pair them together and it's kiiiiiiinda like a railway system.

Kinda. But only a little, because neither resupply points nor telegraph poles actually let you move more swiftly or safely.

>>54043057
Well, I know someone was talking earlier about Primarchs gifting each other weapons. Perhaps the first one truly *is* a "Kannav-pattern" hammer, and Emil makes it for Mot's use in an effort to bridge some of the distance between them.

Before everything goes all Chaos-y of course.

So I'm new round these threads. Where can I find a breakdown of the different chapters and what they do?

>>54043673
There should be a link to our spreadsheet in OP.
All the documents and info are on that man.

>>54036165
Another big document, boys, and another one that will 100% need your help to make sure I've done it right.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ak5R2FNCl1vV5-xoM5RWa1zyPIL8McBOwwqkw3dI8-Y/edit?usp=sharing

This is the link between the "Emil enters the Ruinstorm" story and the "Emil falls to Chaos" story. Because I still haven't fully decided whether Emil falling to Chaos is the best choice for our AU narrative, I have left it open enough that another future where the Steel Souls make it back across the Ruinstorm to rejoin the Separatists is also possible.

Please let me know what you all think, because once I get this bit of plot tied together, that actually gets Emil and his Legion past the Heresy and into the true bulk of Imperial History, an obstacle I know most AUs seem to inevitably stumble on when they try to pass it.

>>54043673
See the first post in this thread, there's a Google spreadsheet with most of what we've done thus far in it.

>>54043891
>21 chapters
>Hashut

>>54044069
21 Legions because three-way split.

Hashut is... not something I would have written, but my word is not law here.

>>54044087
>21 Legions because three-way split.
I'd rather have 18 legions though

>>54044143
Time will tell, I suppose. If pruning must happen, we might end up there by default.

>>54044143
(I like the numerology of 7-7-7 better though)

>>54044163
6-6-6

Or we can get on the phone with 5-5-5

>>54044163
You don't like 6-6-6?

>>54044171
>>54044179
6-6-6 is overdone in Grimdarkia.

7-7-7 is a "lucky" number, but the 3 way split is very far from lucky. I like that dissonance, personally.

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>>54044212
777 also has more relevance in stuff like turn of the century occultism. Most obviously Crowley.

>>54044254
That and the Seven Sins/Virtues, should anyone feel like playing with that.

Not really my thing, but hey, it's nice to have the option.

So that pretty much sums up my thoughts on the matter.

People don't like Hashut?

>>54044350
What is Hashut doing in 40K?

>>54044350
I don't, but we've already discussed why in previous threads. I'm not opposed to Hashut so strongly as to make a big fight about it though.

>>54044350
I do. I've explained several times why it works.

>>54044350
I don't care

>>54043079
If the soul wires map stable aetheric currents and serve as regular beacons, it should give you something more reliable than the OU. Sort of a better system for travelling within the network but harder outside it kind of deal. This on the assumption that Emil put a great deal of time and effort into these things and he didn't know about the webway project.

>>54046200
>he didn't know about the webway project
well, how many OU primarchs knew about the webway project? As in, "knew it was about the webway" as opposed to "knew dad was doing some shit"

>>54047050
None of the Primarchs knew.

In this AU it'd be even worse, considering the Emperor never really starts the project.

>>54039634
Serpents of the Deep?

>>54048281
I'm not digging Serpents all that much...

Wardens of the Deep?
Keepers of the Deep?
Watchers...?

Where did you guys get the painter for your space marines? The B&C one I can find has much reduced functionality from the one I remember.

>>54049600
It's just the one in the OP. Make sure to use the Constructor, not the Generator.

>>54048329
As soon as you mentioned Watchers, the Abyss Watchers immediately popped into my head

>>54050386
I thought about Drakengard.

bump

Maybe just a thunder hammer would work best for the Forge theme.

I just don't know anymore.

>>54053758
Better than a maul, yes

>>54047050
>>54047190
Right, so I'm thinking that if Emil is doing a massive infrastructure project, it'll include a provision for transit.

>>54054255
Bearing in mind that it can't be anything on the scale/safety of a working Webway Project, what exactly would that entail, then?

Beacons of Gondor or some such like you were talking about here? >>54046200

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Just the low rez for now until he sends the proper thing. but here it goes.

>>54055061
oh my good, he looks so goddamn nice.

>>54055061
Ramsay Snow.

>>54055061
His face large

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>>54055061

bump

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>>54055061
How much was it? I've set aside some money for Marduk now. I just have to decide what his face looks like.

Slow day. I have some big Leviathan stuff to post tomorrow though.

>>54055061
Dat boi could drive a fencepost with his forehead!

All jokes aside, looks pretty good. I guess one of these days I'm going to have to get over my fear of trusting people on the internet and order Emil's pic now, lol.

>>54055061
The jawline of a god, the chin of a ball-peen hammer

>>54055061
dude could fit a battle barge in that wideass mouth lol

>>54058645
I should order some Characters from FW and convert them into characters from the Death's Heads
I should also save my money up since I'm heading back to school soon and getting my first apartment

>>54059630
>Post three hours ago
>come back to check thread
>only one actual person and a troll have posted 3 posts between them
>It's not the weekend, it's Wednesday night

Where the hell is everyone? Even the Hektor thing didn't tail off this quickly.

>>54062151
gotta remember names and shit when i get back from anoning in other threads goddamnit

>>54062151
I'm here, writing up numbers and details for the VI Legion
Also thinking of starting to write a timeline for my Legion, might be nice for everyone to do so. That way we can have a reference for when different things go down

>>54062151
During the work week everybody has jobs, so it usually picks up on weekends.

On weekends everybody's partying so they usually only post on work days.

During the summer everybody's soaking up rays, and every other season they're waiting for summer.

>>54062200
If you feel like you wind up with a decent-looking timeline, you should make a template of it for everyone to use. That'll help people keep things consistent stylistically, and make it easy to spot where a Legion has gaps that might need filling.

>>54062342
So I might as well fuck off because no one's ever going to be around and this project is an illusion, lol? That about cover it?

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Lambach's favorite book.

>>54062500
>So I might as well fuck off because no one's ever going to be around and this project is an illusion, lol? That about cover it?
Twas a joke.

>>54062597
Guess I should have added a /s to my "lol". Whoopsie.

>>54062500
Sure, I'd be more than willing to set a template for everyone else to use. It'd make things a lot easier to translate between Legions

>>54062857
On that same note, if anyone would like to use the "Dispotia Tacticae" section of the Death's Heads doc to layout their Legion's assets and disposition in more detail, feel free!
Just so you know, the weight classes of Imperial vessels are, from Largest to Smallest
>Battleships
>Grand Cruisers
>Battle Cruisers
>Cruisers
>Light Cruisers
>Frigates
>Destroyers

>>54062857
>>54063051
Sweet, looking forward to seeing it all laid out.

>On an unrelated note, I went and tallied up my efforts thus far just to humblebrag a lil bit. Apparently I've written more than 50 single spaced pages of fluff so far. Fuck yeah.

>>54063196
I dream of the day I can say I've written fifty pages of prose fluff. At the moment, though, I can only seem to do historical fluff.

>>54063396
Daydream.

Daydream really hard.

And then when the stories show up, write them down like you're transcribing a movie. It'll tell itself in your head, just follow the images. Pretend you're watching someone else tell you the story, then it flows without you having to feel all stressed and shit.

At least, that's how I do it, which is why sometimes I post at random-ass hours when I should be sleeping but I can't because I started the movie and it won't stop. :P

>>54062151
Nothing's falling off man! We've kind of diversified where we discuss things; Discord has become a big part of this. We still post real important stuff here, and I admit we haven't been absolutely fantastic at keeping track of our discussion there here, but still. We had a great big voice chat with 7 of us yesterday. It was very fruitful.

Maybe you're right though; there's definitely a bunch of stuff that's best discussed here, mainly the timeline. I'll repost the order of events I saw before me as soon as I get to my desk. Then we can add something to it, maybe even add dates.

Still, I do recommend you try popping onto Discord occasionally. Just because the thread isn't that active, doesn't mean we're not working on W3, we're just doing it slightly differently. I don't think having it be on /tg/ itself is the only way you wanna approach it?

>>54063051
Will do! Not too knowledgeable about the Imperial Battlefleet, but I'll try my best.

>>54063196
Can't really hope to top that, but I'll try to write up some stuff related to the Siege of Manaan today.

Morning guys. I'm working on the Blades' crusade into the warp. Also, I don't have any idea of how the Blades' timeline could be. So...will have to work on it.

Warp Crusading

After Raj's death in the Siege, Linares quickly searched for Kane, now ascended as a Daemon Primarch. Both Lambach and Linares found him, and fought against, eventually banishing him. That's another story.

But that wasn't enough for Linares. He wanted Kane death at once, and proceeded to pursue him. He ordered Raj's body to be taken to the Palace, as it was the only safe place in Terra these days, but Lambach was in disagreement.

"Brother, please, let me bring him with me. We both loved him, I'm sure he wouldn't want us to fight over his body!"
"You are right, Brother. But I don't have time, so I won't fight more for his corpse. Damn, I can't get used to having him dead..."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going into the Warp and [Redacted] Kane so hard that even Khorne would feel it"
"Brother, you just can't do that! The warp will consume you and your men!"
"They won't follow me, let me assure you!"

>>54064503
And Lambach understood that he couldn't make Linares change his mind, so he casted a protective spell over him. Linares have always suffered greatly from any kind of psychic power casted upon him, getting disoriented and confused, with a headache varying in intensity according to the spell's strength ~(Mindfucked)~. He was quickly put out of combat and life for a minute, then he shouted:

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, TRAITOR!?!?!?!?"
"I'm just helping you. Goof luck, Brother. You will need all of this"

With that said, both Primarchs parted. Linares got to the Argentean, and was given the SitRep. They had boarded a Gunslinger's ship and captured a bunch of serfs, including the captain and the navigator.

>>54064519
"Well...here are the options to everyone: 1) Come with me, into the Warp, seeking vengeance 2) Go back to Kadir and serve the Imperium. In case I don't return, there is a file in the Alcázar with everything you have to do. Now, the ones who chose the first option, stay here. The others, go back to another Battle Barge, because the Argentean is coming with me."

And nobody moved. The ship was already full of Marines, so no try to bring more from other ships was made. With half a Battalion there, enough graves would be dug. The Grandes Maestres present at the siege greeted Linares, and the comms were filled with advises ans greets from his Brothers. He may not return. But he had to do it.

The Argentean started her crusade to the Empirean, slowly moving to the jump point, and entered the warp. The captured Navigator guided the ship to the first stage of their voyage, a daemon world.

Everyone was scared, and the ship was having difficulties traversing those tides, and closing to the planet. When they got to orbit, they dropped down in their pods and started their particular Crusade.

>>54064533
The Librarians were suffering greatly, so they stayed in the Argentean while the rest made planetfall. The planet was a hellish place. A blood river ran across a plain full of bones and a brass citadel towered over the place, kilometers away. The Astartes were quickly met by a series of attacks and ambushes by minor khornate daemons, quickly dealt with by the Blades due to their small numbers. A storm formed over the citadel, and thunders stroked the land. The Astartes advanced through the khornate landscape, killing small groups of daemons while suffering little casualties. The ones injured were healed by the Apothecarii there, and the dead's gene—seed recovered.

A small hill was found, and the Astartes took positions there. It could be the only bit of terrain not covered by bones and skulls. It was made of dirt and mud, and would be a bad place to camp if it was located in a normal planet, but there, it was a true gift.

"I don't even know why I came here" said Martí.
"You actually know. We are here for the Primarch, because it's our duty" replied Dorado. The 2nd company of the 1/1 (Batallón/Tercio) chose to follow Linares, no matter how suicidal was the mission.

>>54064519
>Goof luck
lel

>>54064503
>>54064533
>>54064544
I think this entire sequence of events is a good outline, especially the way the legion responds. I had a talk with LambachAnon though, and the interaction between Lambach and Linares wouldn't really go down the way you present it here.

Long story short; by the time of the Siege of Terra Lambach really isn't sane anymore, and doesn't cast any sort of protective magic.

>>54064564
Yeah, there are some typos here and there. Will fix them. As for Lambach's sanity, how would he interact?

And well, this is WIP so expect more

>>54064617
A lot more violent. His reaction to Deshain killing Raj is simply rage. Linares also going to down on Deshain is just a concidence. They wouldn't really be in a position to interact in any real brotherly fashion. Lambach also just takes Raj's body without consulting Linares in any way.

Also, Linares can't just run off the moment Deshain is banished, that's not the end of the Siege. Linares needs to be there to fight Marduk and defend the palace in general.

>>54064664
Let's say, then, that this happens after that.
Will work on it

>>54064564
>>54064687
If you don't mind here is how I imagined it, let me know what you guys think.

Raj lay dead at the feet of Kane. The Primarch of the Gunslingers cackled as untold power began to flow through him. Khorne would reward him well for slaying a champion as mighty as Raj Vokar. In a rage both Linares and Lambach, momentarily forgetting that they were now bitter enemies threw themselves at Kane as he finalised his transformation into a Daemon Prince. Both were incredible warriors and almost any other Primarch would have been instantly overwhelmed, but the power now at Kanes disposal was unlike anything either of them had experienced before. With the Blessing of Khorne Lambachs psykic talents were next to useless and even with how mighty a combatant Linares was his strength and speed counted for little, no matter how masterful a stroke he made Linares could barely keep up with the Master Gunslinger. Without even realising it the two former brothers began to, by instinct more than anything else, slip into their old fighting routine each complimenting the other. Both knowing that alone they would easily be overwhelmed by the powerful creature Kane had now become. Seeing this fight take place the Gunslingers and the Chosen of Hecate turned their guns upon each other. Severely weakening the Chaos bound push into the Palace. The defenders were swift to capitalise on the advantage that had presented itself and fired indiscriminately into the Chaos ranks.

>>54065719
The battle of the Primarchs was beginning to take it's toll on all three combatants. Kane was starting to show signs of weakness now that the initial flow of power had begun to subside yet both Linares and Lambach sported horrific injuries only their superhuman fortitude keeping either of them standing. Kane stood between his two opponents enormous, smoking, Daemonic gun barrels pointed at each of his former brothers. Khorne would reward him very well if he could finish of a second and even third of his brothers, judging Linares to be the bigger threat Kane Launched himself at the Silver Blades Primarch, guns blazing. Unable to defend himself from such a furious onslaught, four holes opened in Linares chest a fifth sending the famous Silver Slayer flying from his grasp. The Lord of Ale staggered and was about to fall but Kane already had a claw around his throat.
"Pathetic, always lording yourself as the strongest combatant amongst us, but this would always have been the outcome. Now you die Linares".
With a pearlescent flash of green lightning the tip of Venus Gospel emerged from Kane's chest. Lambach stood grinning defiantly.
"Gnat!" Kane squealed, with his other hand he fired a point blank shot into Lambach's chest. The light of Venus Gospel died and the Primarch of the VIII legion slumped to the ground his strength finally failing him.
It was all the time Linares needed. Grasping the warped head of Kane in his mighty hands Linares exerted every ounce of force left in his mighty frame crushing Kane’s skull into a foul ichor. With a scream of ten thousand unborn babies Kane's form was sucked from real space leaving Linares hands, befouled yet empty. With the apparent death of their Primarch the Gunslingers legionnaires went into full retreat. This wing of the Chaos incursion was more or less completely defeated.

>>54065732
Linares hobbled to the body of Raj, cradling his dead brother in his arms Linares unleashed a howl equal parts fury and remorse. After several minutes Linares became aware of Lambach standing behind him. Never before had Lambach looked so close to death, relying heavily on the support of Venus Gospel just to help him stand.
"Look what your traitorous ways have bought Kropor, all the works we achieved under the guidance of father undone. Our dear brother lays dead in my arms, the scum that killed him is dead..." Linares gently placed Raj's body on the ground "and now I will end you too."
Knowing he could not possibly hope to stand against the rage of his brother , as injured as he was Lambach spoke, his voice rasping through the ragged crater in his chest.
"If you waste your time needlessly fighting me brother then who will stop Marduk from slaying our father?" he finished the sentence as if it were a joke, as he had done for as long as Linares had known him.
"Even now he approaches the inner sanctum of the Palace, the death of our father driving him to slaughter, none can stand in his way, none save perhaps yourself, also, you think we slew Kane? You are wrong brother, he has merely been banished it will take far more than that to end Deshain".
Linares smashed the ground with his fist, knowing that Lambach spoke the truth.
"The next time we meet Kropor, your head will roll" Linares retrieved his sword and with blade in hand he tore away from the scene of the battle. His superhuman healing factor already restitching his ruined body.
Lambach watched Linares go, completely drained of strength to do much else, when his brother had disappeared from sight Lambach turned his attention to the corpse of Raj.
"Looks like you'll be coming with me" Lambach hefted the majestic form of the Titan Lord and made his way from the field of battle.

>>54065719
>>54065732
>>54065739
This is far more accurate to how I'd imagine this going down. Good work!

Some notes:
>Raj lay dead at the feet of Kane
The Apocalyptican literally blows up, killing thousands on both sides and severely damaging the Eternity Gate. We can kind of ignore Raj's body being somewhat in tact, but him and Deshain would atleast be knee deep in the wreckage of the massive war machine.

>Kane already had a claw around his throat
Kane doesn't become a Bloodthirster-like daemon, he becomes more like the old Ghost Rider; a burning skeleton.

>"Gnat!"
No real remark here, I just thought that was hilarious for some reason

>>54066050
Yeah there is debris and junk lying all over the place they are fighting in the wreckage of the head.
I can change Kanes hand, I wasn't sure how he looked.
Gnat just seemed to fit

>>54065719
>>54065732
>>54065739
I have always enjoyed your writing. This looks fine. I'm with it.

Ok, posting this might take a while. Lemme know what you guys think:

Black Sky Harvest

Ever since his embarrassment at Peorus Parkaso Gurai, also known as Gurai the Defeated, had been stationed on the Titan Marchers’ homeworld; Manaan. He was given the task of training the legion’s neophytes, a task that might seem honourable at first, but everyone knew that it meant that the Titan Lord had been greatly disappointed and sought to punish Gurai with inactivity.

For nearly three decades Gurai had trained Manaan’s recruits. Firstly his task was to rebuild his own chapter, as well as the two other chapters that had been lost due to his decisionmaking. Then, he was to train the rest of the XVIIth legion’s recruits; men that would go off into the stars to fight for the glory of the Imperium, whilst he stayed behind and waited.

Gurai had accepted his lot; it was his own mistake that had brought him here. His entire career in service of the XVIIth had been one of hard work and acceptance. Gurai was never one to complain; he did his job and put the legion’s needs before his own. In other legions this might have lead to him being largely ignored, never rising above the rank of lieutenant or captain, but it was exactly the kind of selfless attitude that Raj appreciated. Through decades of service, he had worked his way up to becoming Chapter Master of the Third Chapter; the Guardians Exemplar. Yet a single, albeit large mistake, had cost him almost his entire chapter and had taken him out of the Crusade and back to Manaan.

>>54067974

A lot had changed since the Third Chapter, whose name was stripped away when almost all of them had died, was relieved of command of the 77th expedition fleet. The Emperor had returned to Terra in the wake of the Ullanor campaign and had left the Great Crusade in the hands of the Warmasters’ Triumvirate, consisting of the Primarchs of the first, ninth and fourteenth legions. The official story was that the Emperor had to return to Terra to focus on a great work that only he could see to completion. In reality, the Emperor had been mortally wounded on Ullanor and was forced to return to the cradle of Mankind.

Then, when Malcador the Sigillite, Regent of Terra, began moving power over the Imperium from the Astartes Legions to a new institution, the mostly human Council of Terra, insurrectionist sentiments began taking root. These eventually turned increasingly violent, forcing Malcador to put a stop to them. Yet that had turned out to be a mistake.

Malcador had been assassinated, some say by the Separatists, others say by Imperials, others still claiming it had been some other group. Now the galaxy was once again in turmoil; warp storms had made Warp travel difficult and the weapons of the Imperium were no longer pointed towards to the new borders of the Imperium of Mankind, but inwards, towards one another. In reality, the Assassination of Malcador and Ruinstorm enveloping the galaxy had been the machinations of Marduk Engur, one of the Warmasters of the Triumvirate, who had been corrupted into the service of the Dark Gods of Chaos. He had used the inevitable conflict between Loyalist and Separatist forces to sow discord, while he and those who had fallen alongside him planned the ultimate doom of mankind as a whole.

>>54067991

Warmaster Marduk set his sights on the Imperium of Man first; the blow the ultimate death of the Emperor, his father, would strike to those who would stand against him would ensure victory for the forces of Chaos. Yet he could not simply march directly for Terra; Imperial forces had to be crippled first. The see to this, Marduk assigned several of his brothers to take the homeworlds of the legions that remained loyal. This included the Titan Marchers’ homeworld, Manaan. Isekho the Unseen, Primarch of the Xth legion, the Smoke Stalkers, was assigned to take Manaan from the XVIIth legion. Marduk realized that with Manaan’s size and the Titan Marchers’ siege speciality, directly sieging the planet was inadvisable. Instead he opted to send the Smoke Stalkers, who were not only guerilla warfare expert, but could also make clever use of Manaan’s infamous smog clouds. Isekho in turn assigned three chapters to the operation; the 17th, 18th and 23rd. Chapter Master of the 18th, Ida Sow, was to lead the Siege of Manaan, with the other two Chapter Masters, Jahla Roth and Orana Vepp, following his commands.

When war finally came to Manaan, the forces had not been prepared for the kind of warfare the Smoke Stalkers waged. The commanders of the XVIIth legion and Manaan’s Rajah Guard had expected an actual siege; orbital bombardments and drop assault tactics. Instead, the Xth translated into the system and made their way into the thick smog of Manaan using cold ship tactics. Smoke Stalkers began their campaign by sowing terror in the forge world’s population, they would fall out of the clouds using jump packs and move through cities under the cover of the thickest smoky mists.

>>54068006

Those that managed to survive the attacks would runs through the streets in panic, yelling about the horrors they had seen. The horrors they were referring to were the new additions to the Xth legion; the Harvester Marines. Marines who had received the Blessings of Slaanesh, God of lust, greed, excess, pain, pleasure, perfection and hedonism. These marines’ senses had been amplified to a point where every sensation filled them with ecstasy, especially feelings of bloodlust and sadism. Equipped with spear and claw, these marines would kill or maim whoever they came across, taking arms, legs and heads as macabre trophies. None escaped unharmed, though not all of them were killed. It’s unclear why the Harvesters left them alive, be it to enjoy the screams of agony or to send a message to the Titan Marchers.

The commanders of the Manaanan defense realized that they were woefully unprepared to face such a foe. To this end the planet’s Chapter Masters, Princeps, Admirals, Lord General and PDF Commanders gathered to devise a plan. This however, was exactly what the Smoke Stalkers had hoped. Once again using the cold ship tactics to move through the polluted skies, the 344th fleet placed themselves above the fortress the meeting was held and rained down the unholy vengeance of Chaos. Before a response could be mustered thousands of Smoke Stalkers swarmed the fortress and tore through the defenses. The entirety of the Imperial Command structure was taken out, valiant as their defense might have been.

>>54068019
Except for Gurai the Defeated. Through a matter of circumstances that could only be described as a miracle, he managed to survive the onslaught and collapse of the fortress. His body had been severely damaged, but the Magos of the Mechanicus soon saw to that, replacing all of his limbs with cybernetic constructs and repairing internal damage with vat grown organs. Gurai, now the most senior commander on Manaan, took control of the Imperial forces as soon as he was able. Manaan would never fall to the likes of the Smoke Stalkers!

Gurai had seen the Smoke Stalkers in action first hand. Those among them that were imbued with new daemonic power were truly horrifying, tearing off arms, legs and faces, laughing and crying unlike anything he had ever seen. These Stalkers were unhinged, beyond anything the Emperor had ever meant for Astartes to be.

Currently, 7000 fully trained Marines were stationed on Manaan, along with 3000 neophytes. Also among the forces under his command were 10 Titan legios of varying strengths. His first course of action was to have detachments of Marines, along with Titans, Guardsmen and PDF forces marching through the streets of Manaan’s megacities. First Captains and Company Captains were given direct control over specific sections of the cities. As soon as the Smoke Stalkers struck, their position was to be communicated back to central command, who would in turn deploy the Naval forces. Ground forces from other sections would also collapse on the Stalkers, finally striking back against Traitor forces, though the Siege was still bloody and long, with terrible loss to both Astartes and human life.

>>54068036
Eventually it became obvious that the low orbit cold ship tactics were no longer working. The ships of the 344th fled from orbit and hid on the far side of Raat, the Burned Moon. Ida Sow, Chapter Master of the 18th Chapter, planned on waiting, staying on the Burned Moon for several weeks and giving the Marchers on the planet below the impression that the Smoke Stalkers had fled. Then they would strike again, fiercer than ever before.

Ida was not a popular figure in the Xth legion, even before the Brotherwar. He was often unflatteringly referred to as ‘Old Dust’. He was patient, sensible, level headed and often unpopular with younger marines that were often more impulsive and aggressive. The influence of Slaanesh had only made this worse. The daemonic powers had only made Ida even slower to act; the thrill of chasing down his targets, the sheer anticipation, now filled him with so much joy that he relished it as long as possible. Jahla Roth, Chapter Master of the 23rd, was the complete opposite. He had always been spiteful and arrogant. He was a master combatant and truly a great a champion of the Xth, yet Isekho had opted to put the calmer Ida in charge.

Deciding that Ida was no longer fit for command, Jahla Roth challenged him aboard the Cloud of Darkness´ command deck. Jahla Roth, a Harvester, fought with Ida with ferocity and ferality. Ida, fighting with Power Sword and Combat Shield, took on his opponent defensively, remaining largely calm, though occasionally snickering and breathing in an obviously excited fashion. The rest of the marines on the command deck were shouting, cheering and ingesting foreign substances that would have killed a regular man.

>>54068054
The fighting finally came to an end when the Chapter Master of the 17th Chapter, Orana Vepp, stealthily came up behind Ida and put his Lightning Claw through his spine. As the deafening screams of Ida filled the chamber, the marines began howling and cheering even louder. Jahla walked up to his incapacitated opponent and carefully removed the skin of his face. Once he was done he bashed his former superior´s skull in, until the screams finally stopped. Orana swore loyalty to Jahla, who in turn accepted his fealty.

Jahla, now with the Old Dust´s face added to coat of flesh, had no interest in waiting any longer. Manaan had bored him, the Titan Marchers were not nearly as fun as he had hoped. He knew his force of 3000 marines would not be able to sustain an actual Siege, nor was he interested in such a drawn out affair. The Marchers had adopted to their terror tactics, so returning to those was not an option either. Jahla decided to repeat what had worked before, a single cold ship into drop pod assault, blowing through the defenses before they had a time to respond and this time, ensuring every single Titan Marcher was dead.

Gurai commanded his forces from his gene-sire’s personal palace, Mahaltaitan. A well built structure, clearly designed by one of the most ingenious minds of the Imperium, but admittedly too understaffed to be used to its full effect. Due to the size of Manaan and the sheer ground Gurai’s forces had to cover, only of his own chapter and its partnered Titan Legion, Legio Custos, garrisoned the palace. Even though the Stalkers had seemingly turned tail and ran, Gurai couldn’t help but think it was a ruse. The Smoke Stalkers had never been cowards, but they were devious and cunning.

>>54068071
Then, as night turned to day, on one of the least windy mornings of the Manaanan year, dark clouds blackened the sky while smog swept through the streets. Without warning hundreds of drop pods rained down from the sky. The Titan Marchers opened fire, shooting drop pods out of the skies without any hesitation. As soon as the drop pods landed they burst open, smoke pouring out along with gunfire and the crazed shouts of the Smoke Stalkers. They had repainted their armor, from the regular light brown and white shoulders to a dark grey with black shoulders, making them even more difficult to see in the in the thick smog. Unbeknownst to the Titan Marchers these Smoke Stalkers had all but abandoned their legion, now only fighting this battle because their sense of honor demanded it. Their gene-sire no longer had anything to offer them, after all, he had put them all under the command of an incompetent, and worst of all boring, commander. Now they had sworn themselves to Jalha Roth and Orana Vepp themselves and renamed themselves the Smog Haunters.

The fighting was some of the bloodiest the Titan Marchers of the Third Chapter had ever experienced. The mad marines were incredibly unnerving to fight, any pain you inflicted upon them was simply met with laughter and joy. The attackers outnumbered the defenders, but the fortifications of the Mahaltaitan were good enough for them to make up for that disadvantage.

Parkaso Gurai joined the fighting himself, bellowing commands at his men to make as much noise as possible; the Smoke Stalkers relied on sense other than sight, sound being a large one of them. By overwhelming them with noise from as many directions as possible, they might be able to gain some sort of advantage.

>>54068086
Eventually Gurai, clad in Cataphractii Terminator armor, encountered Orana Vepp on the battlefield. The two engaged in combat, Orana’s Lightning claws clashing with Gurai’s Chainsword and Storm Shield. The fighting was fierce, with Orana being forced to call upon more and more of his Chaotic powers, but eventually the strength of Gurai’s new cybernetic limbs and Terminator armor were too much. Gurai swept downwards with his Chainsword and forced his way through the Lightning Claws, slicing through Orana’s hands and tearing his helmeted face to bits.

Upon the death of his right hand man, Jalha called for the Sorcerers present to open as many warp rifts as they could in order to bring forth a daemonic onslaught that would surely drag Manaan into the warp. Reinforcements arrived just in time however, as several Chapters, Titan Legios and Guard Regiments finally collapsed onto Raj’s palace.

Even then the fighting continued for several hours, blood staining every square inch of the Mahaltaitan. Eventually Jahla was forced to admit his own defeat and called for his men to run, retreating into the same warp rifts the daemons had poured out of. The remnants of the Smoke Stalkers’ 344th fleet fled the Manaan System, disgraced and defeated.

>>54068097
In the aftermath of the Battle at Mahaltaitan Gurai the Defeated was declared Saviour of Manaan and redubbed Gurai the Reforged. In honor of their Chapter Master the Third Chapter reclaimed its old cognomen, calling themselves the Guardians Reforged. By the time proper communications were reestablished with the rest of the Imperium and Legion, Raj Vokar had perished during the Siege of Terra. Taarush Amin had taken command of the Legion in their gene-sire’s stead. Gurai was commended for his leadership, Taarush even telling him that he was equally worthy of the rank of Legion Master as him and that if Raj was still alive, he couldn’t possibly have been prouder.

Parkaso Gurai is remembered as one of the greatest heroes of the XVIIth legion. He showed the strength of Raj Vokar’s belief that legion should always come before self. Gurai the Reforged regained his honor and much more by doing his duty when the needs of the legion demanded it.

---------------

In highsight, I realize I might have gone overboard. This is much longer than I thought, holy crap.

>>54068112
Damn dude, that's awesome!

>>54068195
I couldn't have put it better myself

Anything people want to know about the Dusk Phantoms before I leave tomorrow?

I asked this in the discord I think, but what do you think needs to be fleshed out about the Forge Lords?

>>54070886
I reckon knowing his thoughts on his brothers might be useful

>>54072490
He'd probably judge them in terms of who could pose a threat to his personal power. So, Rokuten's scheming ass would be untrustworthy, while people like Pacha he'd be more willing to interact with. He's still cold to everyone though. I'll get on a write-up momentarily.

>>54070886
Just a little bit more of info about how do they fight and such. If they are vanilla with the adition of Destroyers squads, I'll take that, but if not I would like to know how do they fight

>>54068195
Indeed

File: Lambach Kropor.jpg (3.37 MB, 3508x2480)

3.37 MB JPG

Hi-rez copy

>>54074075
Very cool, but why is his hair made of seaweed painted with markers? Was there part of Lambach's backstory I missed?

>>54074075
>>54074885
Indeed, the hair looks rather odd and doesn't fit the image.

[REVIEW INTENSIFIES]
>>54067974
So the guy's made two mistakes total, then? One that sidelined him early on, and another than cost him a Chapter?

Also you need a comma between Peorus and Parkaso, so that we know his full name isn't "Peorus Pearkaso Gurai".

>>54067991
Keeping the Emperor's defeat on Ullanor secret from the masses is interesting. I like it. Presumably the higher ups would be fully informed though?

>>54068006
Seems good. Reinforces your own narrative and Marduk's simultaneously. Feels like you could merge your 4th and 5th sentences, it's like you're introducing the Stalkers twice.

>>54068019
>Mananannann, doo doo do doo doo, Manaahmanh do doo do do :P

Being a dickhead aside, this seems good.

>>54068036
>Circumstances and miracles
Explain, nigger. Show me why this guy's hardcore enough to be miraculous. It'll make him a cooler character.

Also, damn that Magos works quick considering they're under siege and Gurai apparently is like 25% of the Marine he used to be...

>10 Titan Legions
That's a fucktouple of Titans, yo. Like, "Lol we're dueling with people in orbit, from the ground" many Titans. Or do you mean 10 Titans total?

>>54068054
Dis is fine.

>>54068071
Also pretty ok.

>>54068086
Night Lords a go-go yo. Seems aaight.

>>54068097
More detail is always better for 1v1 fite me fagget stories, maybe add more to this when you have time. Keeps it from feeling like "And I punched him in the face and he fell down and im the best the end".

>>54068112
Good stuff.

>>54036165
bump because letting threads die is not cool

How are those timelines coming along, guys?

>>54077662
Still waiting for

>>54062857

>>54077838
Getting on it now, been busy with work and TI7 qualifiers

>>54036165
Yall be slipping, dawg.

>>54080579
Hey man, Thursday nights are busy. Aren't they?

I'm cracking on my legion timeline right now, decided it's probably smarter to do that before finishing any major piece of writing. I've also got a little profile thing-y for the woman who takes over the Leviathans mostly done. She's a space pirate queen turned Rogue Trader, ends up being Marduk's right hand during the Eye of Terror campaigns.

>>54075087
>So the guy's made two mistakes total, then? One that sidelined him early on, and another than cost him a Chapter?
No, they're the same mistake. In one of the previous stories I wrote, the Titan Trap, Gurai fucks up by engaging an enemy without proper recon and gets almost 3000 marines, including most of his own chapter, killed and a bunch of titans destroyed. Then he gets punished by getting sidelined. That was almost three decades ago by the time the this story happens.

>Also you need a comma between Peorus and Parkaso, so that we know his full name isn't "Peorus Pearkaso Gurai".
Fair enough, will do.

>Seems good. Reinforces your own narrative and Marduk's simultaneously. Feels like you could merge your 4th and 5th sentences, it's like you're introducing the Stalkers twice.
I'll try to fix some of the phrasing and spelling issues. Writing the entire thing in one sitting eventually takes its toll.

>Explain, nigger. Show me why this guy's hardcore enough to be miraculous. It'll make him a cooler character.
Sure, I'll expand on that.

>Also, damn that Magos works quick considering they're under siege and Gurai apparently is like 25% of the Marine he used to be...
The Siege goes on for quite a while, and Gurai isn't really ready to fight until the very end. I'll try to make that clearer in the story.

>>54082448
>>54075087
>That's a fucktouple of Titans, yo. Like, "Lol we're dueling with people in orbit, from the ground" many Titans. Or do you mean 10 Titans total?
You're suprised the Titan Marchers' homeworld has a fuckload of titans? Their original plan actually was to fight an invading force from the ground; the Smoke Stalkers just avoided dealing with that.

The Titan Marchers have a fuckload of associated Titan Legios already. Manaan is also a forge world specialized in titans. As is implied later on, several Legion Chapters have their parter Titan Legio. Then you can also add to that that there's a bunch of Titans on Manaan for repairs and Legios and Chapters that are stuck on Manaan because of the Ruinstorm, and you get to 10 quite quickly.

So no, I mean 10 Titan Legios.

>More detail is always better for 1v1 fite me fagget stories, maybe add more to this when you have time. Keeps it from feeling like "And I punched him in the face and he fell down and im the best the end".
I was getting kind of burnt out by the time I got here. I'll take the time to expand on this too.

>>54074885
>>54074966
Not sure, it's not exactly how I imagined it but I just gave him the description from my document. It's paid for now So I have to like it. The armour is a fair bit different to what I wanted but I'll live with it.

>>54082495
I think its actually pretty good man. He looks different from those that have come before. There's a much greater sense of youth and 'innocence' in his eyes; like I said, he looks really nice. I think this look works for him.

>>54082523
Oh yeah I like it just fine, I had just imagined the armour a bit different, but I never gave him a reference picture so It's all sweet

Also question, what are we doing with Perpetuals like Grammaticus, Olsen and Alivia?

>>54083088
I'd like to, but I also get if people would rather stick closer to the developing canon.

>>54083102
*i'd like to get rid of them

>>54083088
Grammaticus would logically still be an agent of the Cabal, but we haven't really figured what we're going to do with them. I don't feel like rehashing the Fulgurite plot, except with Piter instead of Vulkan.

Ollanius Pius I really don't know enough about.

Alivia Sureka would still be on Molech, considering it gets largely ignored this time around.

I'd like for us to ignore canon characters as much as possible, but sometimes they're something we just need to deal with. We can't really justify just randomly picking and choosing what parts of canon we keep and which ones we ignore.

>>54083143
Yeah I get that, I'm not saying we have to use the cannon ones at all. As far as I'm concerned the only Cannon characters we should have are Big E himself and Malcador, maybe the leader of the Emperors bodyguards.
What I mean is just perpetuals in general. Is anyone planning to use them as part of their back story like Vulkan or Alpharius?

>>54083186
Piter is. SepMech can probably explain it much better than I can, but he's meant to be a contrast to Raj; unable to die and forced to watch the galaxy crumble for ten millenia.

There are other characters we should keep, but those are mainly dudes from other factions, like Kelbor-Hal of the Mechanicus and Eldrad Ulthran.

>>54083237
No one really seems to have marines in their legion that have an actual effect like Erebus or Luthor or Khan either. Normal Astartes that actually shaped the war.

>>54083462
I think that'll come eventually. I'm pretty sure Ashur wrote up an Erebus analogue. I'm also trying to make a couple of Titan Marchers more important to the story, or atleast the Legion's own development.

>>54083490
I have Kaden but it is super important that he is taken out before the heresy.
Before that though he more or less leads the Legion while Lambach pursues hobbies.

>>54083532
One of the reasons I'm in favor of splitting legions is that is allows for cool characters in the Brotherwar to lead their own groups afterwards. Writing up a cool characters and having him do his own thing is much more enticing when he can go off and run his own dudes afterwards.

There have been some calls to work our legion specific timelines, which would inevitably lead to the introduction of special legion characters. Whether we should actually be doing 'timelines' for them in another discussion altogether, but I agree with you it's important for people to introduce more characters to their legions than just their Primarch.

>>54083186
I have no particular desire to use Perpetuals in my writing. Although I *did* use Constantin in my most recent piece of fluff, so I'd like to keep him around.

>>54083462
I've got 3 that could fit that category eventually, I just haven't taken their stories that far. 3 of the Tetrarchs, the one who maybe thinks Emil's full of shit and the two who are PISSED about Nikea.

>>54082462
>Titan Marchers having Titans
Not surprised, exactly, but I don't even think Holy Terra has that many Titans available in its defense in canon is all.

Many Titans is ok, "There is a Titan behind every flagpole" maybe is a little silly.

>>54084669
Preeeetty sure there are at least 10 Titan Legios on Terra. Even then, I'd even argue there are more titans on Manaan anyway; the only planet that would rival Manaan in terms of numbers of titans is Mars itself.

File: 1498649497103.jpg (55 KB, 555x415)

55 KB JPG

>>54036165
>Try to make Oni Primarch in Hektor Heresy
>Get shot down
>See this shit

Which faction should the Selenar swear allegiance to? The Loyalist, to whom they swore allegiance only because otherwise Luna would've been wiped? The Supremacists, who offer an alternative to the Terran Empire, but who want to put Astartes (i.e. the armies that half-wiped them) in power? Or Chaos, which remains the worst choice in either case?

>>54086224
Don't know who they are

>>54086224
I don't knew either.

>>54086076
You did? Was this before Zorg joined the Hektor Heresy?

>>54087201
After, I think.

This was I could work on before I tapped out.
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Zan_Shin
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Dreameaters

>>54088116
Oh shit, I remember them. In fact, when Rokuten suggested the Ogre Legion here, I thought they were the same guys, just with the same name. I was never a part of HkH.

>>54089570
*a different name

>>54088116
Oh shit, I remember now.

>>54089570
I think the main difference is that the Dreameater Primarch turned up the Oni mutant thing up to 11, while the legion itself becomes less and less Mirrion Times Forded samurai as one descends through the ranks and they become cyberpunk gangers and PsyOps terrorists

I thought it was a fairly fun idea, but oh well. The HkH folks expected me to treat it like a second job and I simply didn't have time for that.

I'm guessing there's no room for the Dreameaters here?

>>54090469
Don't we have like three legions untouched by their MIA creators?

You'll have to change the primarch and theme up a bit though. Shouldn't be too hard.

>>54090469
Nah, sorry man, we've got all 21 slots filled up. Doesn't mean you're not allowed to contribute or anything. There's always room for more non-Astartes factions, or for someone to just throw random ideas into the mix. We're also looking for someone to 'adopt' one of our legions, but I'm not sure if you're up for that.

>>54090490
The only one that's untouched are the Symphonious Disciples, and we're not getting rid of them. The only other person that's not around very much right now is Ashur, but he made it clear he'd be back, so we're keeping the Loxodontii too.

>>54089570
I was the exact same way

>>54090522
>Loxodontii
Uh
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mastodontii

>>54090522
In keeping with their tactics of terrorism, space ISIS led by Joshua Graham the Primarch? Arab Alpha Legion?

>>54091414
>Uh
>https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mastodontii
Same creator IIRC

>>54091414
We've got the original Mastodontii anon in, they're his dudes. Guy likes elephants a lot, I guess.

As for the Symphonious Disciples, no, they're not anything like that. They're Loyalist Noise Marines. That's what they do.

>>54091717
Yeah, they were originally the Mastodontii again but we convinced him to change it.

He left in the HkH early-ish and his legion got changed a bunch iirc. He basically wanted to start them again but keep em closer to his original vision but with enough updates to keep them different. Notably being less cavemen and more Bronze Age.

>>54091735
I'm talking about Rokuten's invitation to change up the legion a bit to fit them in.

I'm saying ditch the Asian stuff, keep their doctrinal expertise.

>>54091902
We don't need more arab legions. We're really just looking for someone to take over the Disciples and keep them mostly as they are; metal as fuck space mariine bards. The Chinese stuff isn't any sort of real part of them anyway.

>>54091970
Oh shoot, I wasn't aware.

I'm just stumbling into this because I thought some snakey fuck took my idea after shooting them down. I didn't realize Oni Primarchs were so prevalent.

What "culture" is underrepresented in this AU?

>>54091902
I think if you are keen we can let you take them over with some creative freedom.
I mean all we really need is for them to stay loyal, religious Noise arines right?
That's all that really affects our story line?
Things like the Primarch and Chapter name / color won't hurt us if this guy would actually like to contribute and mox his own blend in I think. As long as the core elements are still there.
I do agree we don't reallt need another Arab legion, but apart from that if everyone else is happy I don't see why we can't let this guy have a shot?
Worst comes to worst we keep the Disciples document and we can just put them back if needed?

>>54092030
Plenty, I suppose. From what we talked about while they were without an actual anon behind them, they were not really gonna be based on any specific culture. If anything, they're just fantasy bards.... IN SPACE.

>>54092096
Yeah, I agree with Borp here. Them being fanaticals, but not to the level Lorgar was, is their most important contribution.

>>54092096
>>54092161
Oh well if you guys aren't keen on a new legion then Space Bards sounds like a rad idea. My immediate thoughts are thus.

>Primarch makes landfall, is found by nomads who travel throughout the planet. Nomads have strong bardic tradition, both through story and song. Primarch shows great aptitude for performance and absorbing cultures and stories from beyond his nomadic heritage. World becomes ravaged by war (invading xenos?), Primarch unites the people through his common understanding of their people and culture, returns leadership to the various kings and governors, acting as a superstar diplomat
>Big E finds him, and instead of abhoring his religion like he did with Lorgar, he actually is able to see the value in the Propoganda Primarch
>Primarchs doesn't take to his legion right away, not used to out right leadership, but his charisma allows him to rally his troops while the legion command provides tactical and logistical leadership.
>Legion chapters are organized into three Chambers that take their inspiration from three dominant cultures of the Primarchs homeworld (My immediate thoughts are generic euro Space Marines for Gregorian chanting, Tibetan monks for throat singing, and something else. The idea is that after the Heresy the Euro chapter helps in the formation of the Imperial Creed with the !Leticio Imperialis while the others split into two chapters that are based on different sides of the galaxy so the faith will touch every corner of the Imperium) they engage in competitions of song and performance in their "down time"
>Friendly with mostly everyone, the Primarch is only disliked for a relatively carefree attitude as far as warfare goes and his clinging devotion to the Emprah

Any thoughts? Does this run too against anything. These are just my initial thoughts.

>>54091735
>Symphonious Disciples
Also is that name up for change?

It's just...not fun to say.

Some ideas

>Doom Singers/Doom Callers
>Song Bearers
>Orators
>Star Seraphs
>Emperor's Disciples
>Choir Lords
>Imperial Tongues
>Thunder Maws
>Silver Strings
>Voices of Judgement
>Singing Skulls
>Archangels

>>54092838
As for the Primarch

>Tattooed from head to toe in the songs and stories of his people, and those of his world, it's said that his chest is left bare for his own story, to be inscribed upon his flesh on the day of his death
>However since eating a shitload of melta/fire he dresses himself in bandages that are turned into holy script by his own hand. He changes these every so often to put them into scrolls for future generations of mankind to read and cherish. These scriptures will provide the basis for the Imperial Creed as well a full accounting of his experiences during the Crusade and Heresy.
>Its said that underneath his bandages and burns that of all the Primarchs, it is he that looks the most like the Emperor. This makes him feel all fuzzy inside

>>54092934
The name is one of the few things I'd be against changing; it's grown on me. It being difficult to pronounce was kind of the point. I can't imagine them being called anything else. Same with the name Yochin Theritax himself, honestly.

>>54092838
Couple of notes on that:
>Being picked up by a nomadic tribe which has strong music traditions
That's literally the backstory of one of the Warmasters, Je'She of the Watch.

>Big E changing his opinion on religion
That doesn't sound like something we want to do. The suggested route the Disciples take is that they're not necessarily religious yet, not until the Brotherwar starts and faith in the Emperor actually starts meaning something. Instead, they just consider him to be the METALEST MAN THAT HAS EVER LIVED. He's fanatical, but not in the same way Lorgar was, so he doesn't get punished for it. It should also be noted that Yochin is the absolute last Primarch to be discovered, so he doesn't really get daddy time; something that only increases his fascination with the awe inspiring figure.

>Legion organisation and Primarch personality
Those sound good, fun direction for them to go in.

I suggest you check out the backstory that was contributed by the original poster. You should be able to find it in the Google Sheet in the OP.

>>54093031
Also, the scribing of stories and engraving them, be it in flesh or armor, is also already part of Je'She's legion's culture.

>>54093069
>>54093147
I feel like I misspoke, The Primarch isn't religious, simply zealous and passionate with Charisma to boot. I'm comparing Lorgar to this guy, and that the Emperor doesn't have a knee jerk reaction because there's no religion to knee jerk against.

As for the Nomad thing I'm fine for dropping that in lieu of having him be adopted by scholar monks that have him go on mission to collect stories and songs but later kick him out for being a brash poon hound that likes to fight and sing rather than sit behind a desk for the rest of his life. Que wandering warrior bard mode. Like Conan if Conan was less stoic and more rad. Conan with a axe (guitar)

As for names...eh. As far as the legion name goes I'm really not a fan, the Primarch name is pretty cool, but I'm autistic in that I like Primarch names to be be memetic on the nose references like most of the original ones.

As for inscription I'm really set on this one, but Legions sharing themes isn't anything new. Iron Warriors, Salamanders, and Iron Hands all literally had the whole artificer thing going on, even if their battlefield roles were all a little different. Having two legions that like music and story could help bring them together as comrades

>>54093415
Alright, I'm liking the way the backstory is shaping up. If you want, you're free to join our Discord server, that'd allow us to have a more active back and forth. The link to the server is in the Thread Links section of the Google Doc.

As for the names; if it doesn't click for you, then I guess we might have to change it up a bit. If you keep Yochin Theritax, I guess I can live with it. Out of the suggestions you posted, I'm liking Doom Singers, Doom Callers, and Star Seraphs the most.

And as for the inscriptions; scribing prose and stories onto equipment you carry into battle is a bit more specific than artifice, but I do concede your point. I do recommend you try to have these dudes do something noticeably different though. Maybe they just inscribe lyrics and musical notes?

>>54092934
If we end up changing it, Doom Sayers seems like a good name.

File: 1388037001806 (1).jpg (132 KB, 729x800)

132 KB JPG

>>54093566
>Maybe they just inscribe lyrics and musical notes?

Eddas, lyrics, notes for songs, important notices for forgetful marines, but most inportantly, rude gestures and taunts. Pic related

Once the legion begins to Radicalize and the Chambers begin to drift apart, the inscriptions begin to be replaced by prayers, blessings, ornate murals of significant events, and symbols of the Imperium

>>54093785
>[THE END IS COMING!]

A 0/7 for 2 mana that blows up the board next turn. Always a good choice. Solid staple in many control decks.

>>54093916
My friends want me to go to a magic prerelease next week and all I've ever played is a borrowed Chainer deck in Commander.

>>54093916
Wrong thread?

>>54093809
>That picture
Is it real?

>>54093958
No, I've been here a while, I also happen to play Hearthstone, and Doomsayer is a fairly widely used card in Hearthstone, so I'm poking fun at Sarco's name idea.

>>54093566
Maybe the higher ranking marines inscribe a ballad - complete with lyrics and actual sheet music - detailing a great exploit of theirs onto their armour. That way the nature of the inscriptions can be an indicator of rank

>>54093951
>only ever having played Commander
>not having played it when it was EDH and WOtC hadn't put their greedy hands on it as an official format

God damn do I feel sorry for you, friend.

That said, drafting is really really fun. Never attempt to stand on the Constructed money grinder unless you have fucktouples of free cash though.

As a new player, draft to win if you can, but always money draft first while you're learning how to draft more better, and why sometimes taking an uncommon is better than snap-picking a mythic.

I've been out of the game for a while now, but I think the current block also has some wild-ass alternate art cards that show up once in a blue moon. Grab at all costs for the $$$$ if you get it on a first pick.

>>54094196
Get in discord so we can talk about it without shitting up the thread.

>>54093566
I'm all for this guy changing the names and colors if he likes and actually plans to stick around. We'll get ised to the new names too and he seems pretty keen. It's a fair swap if it keeps him interested in staying active I think.
I like what he has written so far too.

Where's the discord link?

>>54094514
If he's willing to pick up the XIth, I'm all for it. After giving it some more thought, the legion's name doesn't matter too much. Yochin I really have built up an appreciation for though. Maybe because of the number of times I've thought "Where the fuck is Yochin?"

>>54094571
There's a link to a Google Sheet in the OP. In the Sheet, go to the Thread Links tab. You'll see a Discord link there.

>>54094571
In the doc under thread links.

>>54094451
>implying i am capable of comprehending your newfangled communications tools

>>54094514
We should probably also consider updating the Legion Roster image with all the correct names and paint schemes soon, too. I know someone mentioned there were several errors already, and that was a week or so ago at least. Doubly so if a new guy's going to be making edits.

>>54094621
It's literally the easiest thing in the world. You've done it before! I think last time you tried you entered the wrong e-mail or something, idk.

>>54094621
I've pinged you already so I know you've been in at least once. :^)

>>54094636
>>54094638
We shall see. I'm currently in the process of getting ready to drive to the Outer Banks tomorrow for the July 4th week, so things are a little hectic at the moment.

And also on that note, don't expect me to be around until prooooobably next Monday, though I might pop in on Sunday depending when we get back from traveling.

>>54094680
>Outer Banks
Fun shit. Bring plenty of mosquito repellant.

>>54094706
Yep. Between that and sunscreen we should be greasy enough to hydroplane all the way to Spain if we so choose.

>>54036165
[THREAD PROMPT]

Why? Because I should probably contribute one of these to the mix after all these threads, yeh?

>Dorn has the Aetos Dios, Perturabo has the Tormentor, what sort of vehicle does each Triumvirate Primarch have, if any?

So, I came up with A few names for !Yochin, but I can't decide on one, or a permutation/combination of them, so I'll offer the list up here and see what people like. Going of off the theme of epic warrior bard I stole from Welsh, French, and Norse poets and bards

ITeilisen Gwyngwilym
>Æolo Gok’Cywydd
>Occitan Cincaide
>Kinnévail Brynnistaire
>Balifax Ruintongue
>Ryadaar Songaxe
>Kyrakon Murderharp
>Wren Swiftsong
>Lucien deBaas
>Rabindranth Tyagore
>Avon Evyndir
>Ragnvuld Of Fywr
>Kormukr Van Crom
>Lucius Arullean
>Lucan Vigilantes
>Kaon Ventaurius
>Arator Commodian
>Yochin Khil

Feel free to offer alternatives, combinations, or permutations

>>54095598
>Teilisen Gwyngwilym

Whoops

>>54095598
>please don't make us type Æolo Gok’Cywydd i beg of you :P

>>54073824
The Forge Lords are an extreme shooty legion, complete with Knight Titan support and their own brand of knockoff skitarii. Mot Hadad is the supreme Heretek and is known to subvert Forge Worlds to his will, and is presumably the biggest point of contention between the admech and the imperium during the Great Crusade.

Ok guys I spent a few hours writing this up, it gives us an outline of exactly when every Primarch was found and a few of our more notable events. I've stopped at the Censure of Lambach because I'm hungry but feel free to add and edit whatever is needed.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17-kTDZecaXjHdWpWdeCtu2npjveL-5ghEmRrTky0S2Y/edit?usp=sharing

So I narrowed the list of names down

Teilisen Gwyngwilym
Occitan Cincaide
Kinnévail Brynnistaire
Balifax Ruintongue
Ryadaar Songaxe
Rabindranth Tyagore
Avon Evyndir
Kormukr Van Crom

>>54096591
>Balifax Ruintongue

I like this one.

>>54096599
Ruintongue's a little Wormtongueish for my tastes, but it *does* sound good when you say it.

Kormukr Van Crom sounds pretty good too.

>>54096182
>Knight Titan
Friendly reminder that Knights are not Titans and have never been Titans. They're Knights.

>>54095178
Bump with a lil content. Thought I'd try something kinda goofy to answer my own prompt.

[Modified Deathstrike Missile Launcher, “Certus”]

“Et fecit infelici errori unus”
(You have made a terrible mistake)

-Low Gothic inscription on Certus' inner hull, believed to be Primarch Emil's handiwork-

Nonimat IV preserved many relics of the Dark Age of Technology within its frozen Hive Cities, and the Fifth Legion's Primarch became intimately familiar with them all. Few Imperial sciences puzzled Emil, and he generally developed proficiency with all Imperial weapons with little difficulty, as befitted a Primarch. However, the battle for Porimit Sextavos is notable for changing Emil's perspective on galactic combat.

It was one of the very first battles he fought with his Legion after being rediscovered by the Emperor, and the Chirnablyot 237th Imperial Army Bombardiers was deployed in support. During the course of this engagement, the still-inexperienced Emil was badly wounded and spent almost a month recuperating behind the lines. During that time he spent many hours around the vehicle repair shops, and when Deathstrike Launch Platform TAS-XIX-88-Heavy was dragged in with severe hull damage caused by Orkish sluggaz, Emil took a keen interest in its reconstruction.

Nonimat IV had no atomic weapons to speak of, and the Deathstrike's apocalyptic damage potential utterly fascinated the Fifth Legion's Primarch. Using every trick of mechanical cleverness and scrap of lore at his disposal, TAS-XIX-88-Heavy rolled out of the machine yard a wholly different beast than when it went in.

>cont.

>>54097147
Questioning the need for the booster rocket's massive thrusters since the Deathstrikes were (puzzlingly) deployed near the front lines as often as on another continent, Emil devised a smaller, stripped-down missile with less than 1% the range, but which flew faster, carried a heavier payload, and most importantly mounted a far superior internal guidance cogitator. With significantly less fuel required, the missile could also be flash-loaded with pressurized Promethium in a matter of minutes, rather than hours. Reloading was equally streamlined, reducing the requisite time to prep a new missile by a factor of ten. Owing to the reduced size, many different Imperial transports could also resupply the launcher.

TAS-XIX-88-Heavy showed good service on the battlefield, wiping out Ork after Ork with deadly precision and overwhelming firepower. Sadly, when Emil proposed that the Imperial Army receive more of these vehicles, he was turned down because of the modified missile's greatly increased price-tag. The Administratum declared that such devices were perfectly acceptable for a Primarch's personal experiment, but it would be prohibitively expensive to mass-produce.

Disheartened yet undaunted, Emil continued modifying TAS-XIX-88-Heavy for many years as his Legion moved from world to world, and the Chirnablyot 237th became among the Steel Souls' closest compatriots, providing peerless fire support for the Astartes. Eventually, some unknown trooper nicknamed TAS-XIX-88-Heavy “Certus” or “Certainty” in honor of its much-vaunted accuracy, and so it was dubbed forevermore.

A sentimental rather than a practical project, Primarch Emil never piloted "Certus" himself, though on more than one occasion while deployed in the field, the psychic warrior guided its missiles to strike particularly difficult targets with accuracy far exceeding even the missile's advanced targeting cogitator.

>>54097147
>inner hull
That should be "outer hull", whoops.

>>54096504
add your Primarchs details in the notes and locations as you see fit guys. If Xun is around I might ask him to help finish this off.

>>54097371
You gotta give us edit privileges first.

So after not much consideration I've chosen Kinnévail Kincaid as loyalist Fulgirm's name, with Ruintongue and Songaxe as epithets and various other names as pseudonyms he uses throughout his early life

That Cool with everyone?

>>54097534
Oh sorry I thought I did. I'm out at the moment playing golf. Will fix it when I get home.

>>54097609
Mint. I like Kincaid as a last name.

>>54097609
Ruintongue and Songaxe as epithets and stuff is good.

Kincaid's a good last name, and Kinnevail is a cool first name.

The only thing I might suggest is changing one of the K's to a C or some such modification, so as to avoid being Peter Parker/Lois Lane/Doctor Doom/Fantastic Four/etc.

Do the separatists get the assassinorum? How does that work?

>>54098089
I'm gonna guess they don't. Malcador probably wouldn't have set up Assassin Temples anywhere near where the Seps wind up.

And balance-wise, since some of the Sep Primarchs evidently make it to M40, giving the Imperials exclusive use of Assassins might be good for balance purposes, methinks.

>>54098089
I would say no, but that doesn't mean that they can't have services of their own.


How does Squats joining the Separatists sound? Give them some swank forgeworlds. And is there a more 40k name for the Separatists?

>>54098174
No Squats. Leave them in the ashbin of historical memes where they lie.

Regarding the name.... I know we had a discussion on that topic many threads ago, but I can't recall if a conclusion was ever reached.

>>54098214
I wasn't joking about squats. Having a sector or series of systems close to a star or black hole causing high gravity worlds would naturally generate squats over the due course of time, as well as high grade minerals and necessitate good quality building to withstand the gravitational pressure, thus the artificer dwarves meme.

As for a name I'd have to look over the Primarchs that start this shit, because that could influence what they decide to call themselves
>inb4 Imperium Secundus Secundus

>>54098264
My opinion is that there's too much baggage and derp attached to Squats to make them worth our time. People always love dragging their tired carcass out of mothballs for whatever reason.

But if everyone else wants them, I guess I'll leave my objections aside.

>>54098336
I like squats except for the name squats. Have you read that one 40k comic by that Russian guy? He does a pretty good job of "modernizing" the concept, in my opinion.

>>54098336
I don't like squats most of the time either. Either they're a xenos race like the Eldar (probably by way of the demiurge) or they're abhumans just like ratlings and ogryn. Having them be their own faction separate from humanity but not really that different bothers me.

>>54098373
No I haven't read that comic. Unfortunately I probably won't get too anytime soon, as it's getting late where I am and I'm headed to the beach tomorrow. Gotta get some sleep, lol.

See all of you in a week-ish!

Ok I think I've fixed it so you guys can edit it. Someone give it a go.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17-kTDZecaXjHdWpWdeCtu2npjveL-5ghEmRrTky0S2Y/edit?usp=sharing

>>54099413
merci beaucoup

>>54100522
bon appetit

Hi guys, what's going on?

>>54101621
Not much. Just killing the next three hours or so till my friends get here and we head to the beach.

>>54101621
We have an anon to pick up the 11th. The Loyalist Noise Marines are no longer orphans.

>>54101636
I'm going to the beach this monday with my friends.

Anything new/important in the AU?

>>54101722
Great!

>>54101739
I did up a time line if you want to add anything to it man.

>>54101739
Well, like homeboy over there said, we've maybe got the 11th rolling forward again.

I made up an Imperial Army regiment that will be loosely attached to the Steel Souls as one of their auxilia and gave them a special Deathstrike Launcher that Emil pimped out while he was injured in an early campaign, >>54097147
>>54097155

And you might have already seen it but I linked a couple of stories together here >>54043891 but didn't get much feedback. I assume it meets the group's approval.

Basically those two stories and the as-yet-not-canon one where Emil falls to Chaos form the groundwork for whatever the Steel Souls do post-Heresy. They've been through the Ruinstorm, they've been to Terra, and they've fallen back to Separatist space.

*TECHNICALLY* therefore the Fifth Legion meets the very barest definition of "complete" now, I think.

I'm basically going to be spitballing side stories and extra fluff until the group finishes tying up whatever they've got left to do from now on.

>>54101779
Copy

>>54101779
Regarding the story of Emil's fall; I've talked about it with a couple of others, Isekho and Piter among them. Opinions were divided. On one end, it's a very well written piece and Emil's fall makes sense, but on the other hand the issue of 'muddling the factions' came up again. So its hard to give a definiteve answer on whether or not we're cool with it. Most of those questions relate to what Emil will do once he becomes a Daemon Primarch.

>>54101889
>Most of those questions relate to what Emil will do once he becomes a Daemon Primarch.

Well, I can probably answer that. What were the questions?

>>54101905
goddamnit fucker learn to put your name back *on* when you get back from taking your pants *off* on /d/...

>>54101912
You actually post on porn boards? Why even bother?

>>54101905
I'd argue that this is yet again a discussion better fit for Discord, as it allows more people to be engaged more directly, but I'll try to rephrase some of the concerns raised:
>How actively involved with Chaos does he actually become?
>How do the other Daemon Primarchs respond to him?
>How do his sons react to him becoming a Daemon once they return to their homeworld?
>How do other legions on the Sep side react to Emil's fall? What are the consequences for the Steel Souls?
>Does Emil's fall affect the use of Psybernetics in any way?
>How do the Loyalists react?
>How big will the shift in the balance of power be of Chaos gets another Primarch?

There were others, I know that for sure, but this is what I could remember right now.

>>54102057
They're arguing over the status of moderation on /d/ right now, so I waded into the fray on a whim.

>How actively involved with Chaos does he actually become?
All 4 Gods are trying to subtly pull him to their side and break the stalemate, but he's kind of pulling an Abaddon and maintain control so they can't easily use him to strike against his own Legion.

>How do the other Daemon Primarchs respond to him?
Contempt. Pure, hateful contempt. They know he's not truly "one of them", the Gods had to drag Emil kicking and screaming. Many feel his psychic power is an insult since those who truly love the Gods didn't all get that boon.

>How do his sons react to him becoming a Daemon once they return to their homeworld?
Horror, yet those who saw him on the flagship do at least understand his actions, and pass Emil's apology to the rest of the Legion. Responses are mixed.

Remember, Emil brought his *entire legion* through the Ruinstorm in case he had to resort to force to gain audience with the Emperor. It was only later he realized that Chaos allowed this to put him in an untenable position.

>How do other legions on the Sep side react to Emil's fall? What are the consequences for the Steel Souls?
I can't speak for how other Legions would view it. The consequences for the Steel Souls almost certainly include a perpetual stigma among all other Legions, possibly even internal schisms.

>Does Emil's fall affect the use of Psybernetics in any way?
Not really, the Legion relies on them to keep their gene-seed stable.

>How do the Loyalists react?
Presumably pure hatred, same as given to every other Daemon Primarch.

>How big will the shift in the balance of power be of Chaos gets another Primarch?
Not as much as you'd think. In this scenario, Emil would very much parallel Mortarion's path, hating himself for his mistake in crossing the Ruinstorm, remaining in seclusion to avoid hurting his gene-sons any further, and only rarely intervening in the Materium.

>>54102057
Ultimately, the primary reason I wrote that alt-story was to perhaps give stronger respect to the power of Chaos.

I often see people on /tg/ saying that Chaos is treated more trivially than it should be, and people who write alt-histories routinely let their characters defy the Gods simply because they don't want to fall.

Emil's probably the most psychic Primarch we have in our AU, and the Gods literally ate his limbs as a child. Or Emil sacrificed his limbs to fend them off. Depends who you believe.

So I thought it prudent to perhaps say that Emil was never truly free from Chaos, he merely forced them to enact a new plan to claim him as he "always should have been". The only shift to that pattern Emil could force through was saving his Legion in the end, but only by allowing himself to fall, rather than end his own life.

He *could* have defied Chaos to the end and spurn their goals, but to do so would have meant leaving his entire Legion to be pinned and crushed against the Ruinstorm by enraged Imperial troops.

And that above all else Emil would not do. And the Gods knew that.

Emil's journey to Terra was not truly his own idea then, but rather part of the Gods' plan the whole time.

It might not be a twist worth adding to the AU, but I thought it might have some merit perhaps. Like I say, I'm still not 100% sold on it, and I'll be thinking about it this week at the beach for sure.

>>54102057
One other consequence of Emil's fall that I thought of just now regards the Galactic Core.

Because Emil would take up residence in the Malestrom rather than the Eye, he could also serve as a sort of roadblock for Imperial forces using those routes to attack the Separatists. He hates the Loyalists first and foremost above all, and Loyalist soldiers moving to attack his family would surely be attacked. Protecting his Legion from afar as best he can. And the other Seps, since they're like his extended family.

That might not be useful for our narrative, but it is an option to help maintain some of the separation between Loyals and Seps when the Ruinstorm abates.

>>54102281
>>54102057

(And it means Emil's still technically pointed at the Loyalists 90% of the time, rather than the Seps or Chaos forces. Different in the abstract, similar in practice. If that affects the "balance of power" concern at all)

There were some talks about the Order of Remembrancers. In the OU, the Remembrancers are introduced into the legions by the Emperor post-Ullanor. That obviously doesn't happen this time around, and I doubt it'd be something that the Triumvirate would implement.

So the suggestion was to have Je'She introduce the idea of them to the Emperor, much earlier than before. The Emperor, agreeing with Je'She's suggestion, would in turn be more likely to consider Je'She for the position of Warmaster.

>>54036165
bompo

>Golden Mountains Pattern Rations
After fixing his Legion's cooking provisions, the Earthquake then looked at the 'rations' that the Imperial Army provided its soldiers, and saw a far greater task that needed accomplishment.
Although the situation never allowed for them to be more than a rarity that only some few lucky Imperial Guard, the Golden Mountain Pattern Rations (or Golden Rations) sent by Suyu IV and other Golden Mountain-conquered agri worlds are not only nutritious and easy to preserve, but rather pleasant to the palate and digestive system. Other than the random chance a regiment gets a stockpile of them, Golden Mountain Space Marines also keep a few for when cooking fresh food is impossible, and will share spare ones with Imperial Guard regiments they work with whenever possible.

>>54036165
quit hiding on discord and keep your threads alive lol

i mean, "bump".

>>54106166
I have been AFK.

>>54104692
Very Golden Mountain-ish. Like it!

>>54064544
Continuing with the story:

The Astartes' position was fortified in such a manner that the khornate hordes would have a bad time attacking it. The hill gave a clear and unobstructed view of nearly all the plains in at least 30 km around, except for a single, small hollow throught wich a blood river ran, like 5 km afar. The mood in the campsite was grim. The group was silent, the ocasional cough and chat broking the silence and sounding in all directions. No joking, no laughing. Those were common traits of a Silver Blades' camp, but not in this one. The campfires blazed tenously, throwing their warm light over the sitting Legionnaires alongside them. Some of them ate their rations, silently. Others, at the edge of a panic attack, screaming sometimes while feeling how their sanity slipped away, through their fingers and irremediably. The Apothecaries did their best to calm down the injured, while treating their abnormal wounds. Some of them still bleed even after being sealed. That was horrifying. The screams of the others were driving crazy many of the still sane and calm soldiers.

Linares stood on top of the hill, looking at the brass citadel towering at the distance. His equery, Romero, was sitting alongside him.

"I hate this headache. I can't even think! And those screams don't help either."
"I know, sir. We can't do much there. But we have to do something. We can't just sit here and wait until those daemons come and eat us!"
"Indeed. A first attack could be repelled, but would be difficult because we are in their turf. And definitively, a second would wipe us out, no doubt. Wonder what is in that citadel, nothing good, that's for sure. And we are here because in that citadel is what we are looking for."
"Would you bet for that?"
"Sure. A beer keg when we come back."

>>54106947
And both shook their hands, and returned with the rest of the battle group. The blood-red sky was turning more and more dark as time went by, and eventually became as dark as a moonless night. And those, with Erifide, Orfide and Elvar in the Kadirian sky, were as rare as a Blades' feast without beer.

Some could fall asleep, but were scarce, and most of the Astartes couldn't even close their eyes, fearing the daemons lurking somewhere, but near.

When the bloodish tone returned to the sky, Linares met with the highest ranks of the group and explained the plan

"We are attacking the brass citadel, and we are doing that in this particular way: the group is splitting in three. The biggest one would attack the citadel, supported by the Argentean. Ask for tanks if you need them. The second will remain here, and wait. Just defend this position, just in case we have to run. The smallest will further divide in several small groups and will search for something interesting around. Do this for 8 terran hours and come back to the hill. If Kane is there, I want to fight against him alone. If I can't focus some fire on him, supress him, because we are retreating so hard that the Argentean will make planetfall to recover us."
"Splitting the group is a bad idea, sir. Comms aren't going fine at all, and if Kane is really there, you *wont* be able to best him in duel. He is just too powerful, and we are in his own turf."
"True...I'm trying, anyway"
"You will die!"
"BUT I WILL DIE STANDING!"

Linares' stubborness was well known in the Legion, they knew they couldn't make him change his mind, but he will eventually listen to their advices.

The plan was set, and everyone started to move. Linares would go in the first group, and the 2nd company soldiers were designed as his retinue, along the Escogidos and Romero.

The march started, and quickly, daemonic hordes attacked the formation.

>>54107197
The 2nd company formed around the Primarch while the hordes were still advancing towards the Astartes Legionnaires, and Linares, eager to start fighting, loudly shouted at the horde:

"KANE, I KNOW YOU ARE HERE. STOP HIDING, COME HERE, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!"

Shortly after, an strident noise rose, and a blood explosion was seen in the horde. A roar was heard, and Kane appeared. Linares started to sweat, and everyone got nervous. Blood started to fall from the sky, muddling and soaking the terrain. The skulls and bones that formed the ground were absorbed into the soil. The blood spotted the silverish armors of the Legionnaires, and disolved the first tiers like boiling acid. Luckily, their power armors were thick enought to not being penetrated by the hellish rain, but were left damaged.

>>54107197
>>54106947
>>54107398
Fuckin sweet

>>54103046
Einchurt also seconds Je'she on this, although I'm thinking he already had a number of Markchian historians, artists, and writers observing and recording the campaigns of the VI Legion

>Paulus von Erstein
Master of the Legion's 1st Grand Battalion, von Erstein was one of the first Markchian inductees into the Legion, a Volagdotch youth set for the Sturmsoldaten Officer's Academy. Although he rose quietly through the ranks at first, his successes during the Rangdan Xenocides as a Hauptmann cemented his place within the Legion, seeing Paulus become 1st Korpsmarshall by the end of the campaign. Although considered of little import by members of his own Legion, the fiery soldier thought of it as an honor in its own way.
Paulus von Erstein has been known as a passionate, aggressive commander, with many a jab at him saying he was meant for the I Legion. It is this very trait, however, that landed him a position on the Oberwaffekommande. His loud, boisterous attitude the perfect counterbalance to the many more dour, ill-humored officers of the VI Legion.
>Josef Engel
The youngest Korpsmarshall within the VI Legion, Josef Engel was raised to the position after the defense of Nostramo during the Death's Heads campaign against the Cythor. Without a second thought, after former Korpsmarshall Ienrich Weiler was slain in combat, the then Hauptmann Engel took command of the embattled III Grand Battalion, keeping their ground before elements of Ernst Ganswindt's VIIIth Grand Battalion arrived.
Josef Engel has a reputation for forcing hardship upon himself, desperate to prove himself worthy to the rest of the Legion. Although not a member of the OWK, Engel's Schildt und Schwart idea, based off his experiences upon Nostramo, have become one of the predominant defensive strategic ideas of the Legion.

Quests are allowed on /tg/ again?

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>>54036165
Also goddammit Silverish stop slacking on the map

>>54112047
How is this in any way similar to a quest?

+++An Excerpt from the Chronicles of the Ruintongue+++

>Between the time when the Imperium conquered the galaxy, and before the fall of the Sons of The Emperor, there was an age of undreamed of. And onto this came Kinnévail, destined to bear the papal wreath of the Ecclesiarchy upon a tortured brow. It is I Quanyu, his humble chronicler, and I alone who can tell thee his saga. Let me part onto thee the days of quest and crusade, and the bloody ballad of my lord Kinnévail Kincaid.

>Bore onto our world, Kaliborn Septima, upon a crimson star cast from the ebon sky, the infant babe, astral and transcendent was he, was found by the scholar monks of the Seventhfold Path. Wrecked upon the icy slopes of Mount Fyrax the fallen star had embedded itself within an ancient factorum, and the monks traversed to the mountain following the ominous portent of the carmine comet. Picking through the derelict corpse of technology long forgotten they found upon a ball of ever shifting light, near blinding in radiance. The monk Harvaldik found his resolve and made his approach to observe this divine brilliance. as he he felt the cosmic being before touch his own mind, taking his knowledge into himself and take the form of an infant boy, perfect in everyway. Seeing the pool of purified water around his mewling form the monk imparted upon the name of the purest of ancient philosopher stoics, Kinnévail, and the name of the poet alchemist, Kincaid. Filled with joy at this great discovery the monks secreted back to their hidden fortress monastery high in the Jurrün mountains. Here the young Kincaid, with hair of snow, was taught in their monastic ways, of mindfulness, and the collected knowledge of all of Kaliborn, to the codes of honor of the Yvarine Tyechnobarbarians to the alchemical mysticism of the Jakhistani nomads, to the philosphical ponderings of the Yao-Lung.

>>54112203
Ackownledged. Also, sauce on the pic? XD

>>54115269
Darkest Dungeon.

>>54115033
>My master drank of these deeply and posses a skill at academia that bordered on the supernatural, but above all else my lord reveled in one thing; art, both in song and sculpture, and warfare and battle. The monks, to prepare themselves against barbarian intruders from frigid Yvar, studied the ways of warfare, sword and stave, fist and fusil, strength and subtlety. Of these Kincaid took to like a dragon to flight or serpent to sea. Within his tenth year he was nearly a grown man, stunning to look upon and indomitable in battle, study, and song. A mere three Long Winters past a Yvarine horde of raiders came upon the mountains in their quest for lost marvels and treasure, and my lord descended upon them as a fell wind, and as he did he sung to their dooms and deaths, routing the cowards away from his home in a trail of blood upon the snowy peaks. Greater still than his gift for battle, was his gift for peace and progress. From his cooling of tensions between factions in the secretive cult, to his efforts to raise his brethren to greater heights, his actions turned his monastery from a mouldering ruin to a bastion of law and knowledge in a chaotic, ignorant world.

>Even though he was scorned for his auspicious birthing and great skill, and mocked for his fatherlessness, Kincaid was poised to assume the position of High Seer. But in his quest for peace amongst peers, he did not foresee his betrayal. Cabals that once vied for power now sought to banish the one that had reunited them, such did he terrify them with his power. And so they plotted in shadow and secrecy, and through guile and deception the aged High Seer was fooled into sending the young Kincaid out into the world on mission, and in the hopes of many, to his doom. He was charged with finding knowledge not known by any living or dead and to retrieve it for the glory of the monastery or not at all, for this was to be his final task before his ascension to High Seer.

Well, just took a look at the timeline. When does the Loyalist-Sep meeting occurs?

>>54115434
>Before his venture into the unforgiving north of Kaliborn, he forged a set of glittering armour adorned with the fur of the Jurrian Peakbear of legendary status, Rimeclaw, slain by his very hand. From the Starsteel of his own star-bound craddle and the hood of the mighty Keshenak Pine he forged a mighty battleaxe, a swift hammer, and an ornate lute. When asked why he would not bear a sword with which he had greater skill or why he would burden himself with such an instrument, my lord smiled at his brethren, in his easy and assured manner, and spake, "For with only these I can destroy an empire, and with only these I can build one." And with those words he left the only place he had ever known, and departed for the endless tundra and bitter cold. For his friends and those he would never openly call his family, he would never see again.

>It was then where my lord set himself upon the path of greatness and would make many great and terrible enemies, and true and loyal friends. And this tale I too shall tell...

Well that's it for now, its almost six in the morning. What do you guys think so far?

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>>54115033
>>54115434
>>54115672
Yeah, I'm liking this. Reading it in Mako's voice actually makes it really damn cool. I'm looking forward to seeing it be finished.

>>54115625
a bit after the Lambach censure I'm not sure when that happens exactly wanted some collaboration on dates before I entered them what does everyone think?

>>54116432
Maybe 017.M31 to give time to the conflict to scalate?

>>54116432
I think we need an exact year and event for when the Seperatist conflict gets violent. That's actually pretty big, the exact moment Astartes declare war on each other.

>>54116623
Should it maybe be Malcador's assassination? Or should that happen at the end of the separatist/loyalist war?

>>54117377
Malcs assassination is when it goes full blown war, but there are meant to be hostilities and perhaps small conflicts brewing before then.

>>54117475
Then we still need to determine exactly what those conflicts are and just how big and violent they are.

>>54117508
I concur, but as a Chaos writer I haven't had too much to do with those. It has to basically be about their core beliefs and principles being different so mostly to start with not wanting to give power to normal mortals.

>>54117508
I'd say reasonably small and rather violent. There needs to be enough good will left between the factions to make peace possible but not enough to make it easily achieved, prior to the assassination of Malcador at least. So the initial Engagements shouldn't be insanely violent

>>54117606
I think the exact events that lead to legions siding with the Seperatist movements are something we should talk about. Probably best if some SepAnons way in on it most of all.

Think of "friendly fire" incidents in sectors guarded by forces of both sides or battling together. A Sep group attacks a loyalist fuel depot because they need fuel, "misidentification" of forces that lead to small gunfights...

>>54119273
Are any legions already prone to friendly fire incidents? The gunslingers seem like they might be.

>>54120634
In a pure accidental sense, the Stalkers could be prone to them if they have a reduced sense of vision.

>>54120634
I feel like the Golden Mountains might be responsible for a few. They are probably a little on edge after the censure, so it takes less than normal to get a response out of them.

What's up with that Arthurian legion? I haven't heard much about them in a while.

>>54122202
behold:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SPgvDJwPQAfjYTCntmFzfO9XgV3sn6Yk4Ks8UIwNlos/edit
Also, They the Knights Stellaris now

>>54122258
Cool. What happened to their anon?

>>54123650
I think he's in the same boat as Piter's anon: unable to contribute at the moment, but will be in a position to soon.

I'm thinking about making a write-up for a Forge Lords sorcerer that's active around M41. Any ideas?

For the Kincaid anon, here's my idea on how he comes to hate psykers.
How about it being 1 of his own sons? TO start with Kincaid is fine with psykers. Then a Librarian in his inner circle suffers like a perils of the warp at some point. Kincaid tries to calm him down. and is standing right near him when the Librarian explodes into a ball of warp fire. as it is psykic energy the burns never properly heal.
Because a normal flame weapon a Primarch would completely recover from.
Afterwards he outright bans or "removes" all psykers from his Legion before Nikea, then is 1 of the most outspoken Primarchs at the Edict itself.
His big finale argument could be something along the lines of him tearing off his bandages
and being all "Look what the warp has done to me Psykers are fucking bad man".

Words from an Old Man

Nadir Al-Halib, Khafir of the VIIIth Warhost, stood to attention aside his primarch as he took in the sight that lay before him. The towering columns of the bridge of the Gloriana-class battleship, Daughter of Wind, soared up around Nadir’s head. While messenger cherubs soared high above, the gentle chuff of wings mingled with ‘holy’ binary. Down below, countless servitors and crew members went about their business inserting data into monitors or relaying vital messages across kilometre-wide sections of the ship, each one a vital part of the ship, each human and each mindless servitor a synapse of the great mind of the Daughter of Wind.
Both Nadir and his primarch stood atop the viewing platform, overlooking the bridge. From their vantage point the great viewing windows that encased the front half of the bridge appeared arrayed in perfect symmetry, starting near the base of the bridge and rising high above the heads of those below, arching upwards and nearly meeting the lofty columns far above.

Out of the viewing windows could be seen the entirety of the 80th expeditionary fleet. The fleet had been in orbit of a recently taken civilised world for months now, repairing and resupplying for what seemed one of the IXth’s largest campaign yet.
The Ullanor crusades.
Called upon by the Emperor himself, Je’She had spent weeks preparing and organising his forces for this new assault on the ork-held worlds. Reports from the Ullanor system indicated ork forces so large, it even gave the grizzled veterans of the Warhosts pause for thought. Nevertheless, each and every Sentinel had spent the time preparing and training both in orbit and on the planet. Drilling constantly as they awaited the order to leave the system to this new fight.

>>54125968
Nadir looked up at his Primarch now; clad in the dark grey of his legion, tales of his deeds and the legends of his people inscribed over every smooth plate of his armour. His dark, weather-worn face deep in concentration as he read a data slate in front of him, detailing troop numbers and supply movements. It was a quiet joke amongst the legion that their Primarch always looked as if he had just walked out a sandstorm. His short-cut beard was rough, and his dark hair had a windswept look to it.
They called him the Desert Storm for a reason.

Nadir stood to attention for some time as his Primarch continued to scan the monolithic amounts of information that scrolled down the dataslate. He tilted his head quizzically at Je’She; why did his Lord Primarch, a master of man and space marine alike, a conqueror of worlds, trouble himself with matters as mundane as ration supplies? Nevertheless, the Khafir kept his thoughts to himself, standing to attention besides his Lord Commander.
Hours went by; this thought nagging at the Khafir like an insect eating away at a piece of fruit.
At last, after what seemed like ages, Nadir cleared his throat and addressed Je’She.

“My Lord Primarch, if I may be so bold, why do you concern yourself with matters as small as supply movements? Surely you have the men capable of overseeing such mundane subjects.”

>>54125995
Je’She looked at Nadir, his bright eyes appearing to find the Khafir’s very core, looking his very being. Yet, they were not cold, as other Primarch’s were said to be. There was a warmth there, almost as if a deep fire was burning behind those eyes.

“Why do you think I concern myself with such matters, Nadir?” Je’She asked him

“If I knew, I would not have asked, my Lord.”

Je’She smiled at this, the skin at his eyes creasing as a smile broke through his dark beard, “Come now, Nadir. You and I have been campaigning since you first found me on Harrdid, surely you know me better than that? Why, you were my vox-officer back then. Look at yourself now, you a Khafir of the VIIIth Warhost of this legion. A leader of men and metal, not unlike myself.”

More at ease, Nadir allowed himself a wry smile, his Terran background sometimes put him at odds with Harrdinese culture. Even though he was recruited from the techno-nomads in the archaically-named, Middle-East, the differences between Terran and Harrdinese culture sometimes were slightly different from each other, there were nuances that cropped up from time to time, mannerisms and perspectives that jarred slightly.”

“You are often hard to read, my Lord Primarch. They call you the Stone Sentinel for a reason, and not just for your choice of wargear.”
The Khafir said, gesturing a hand to Je’She’s helmet that rested upon the bench in front of them, a solemn face carved into the helmet, it’s blank eyes unblinking in its eternal vigil against the enemies of man.