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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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>...description of him as "not simply a vampire, [but] a right-wing vampire" and said his policy for dealing with drug dealers is to "go to Sicilian families and have them attack the drug dealers for me
>Originally a boxer, Sharkey began wrestling in 1988. He began his career with Larry Sharpe's WWA promotion
>opposes health care reform and said that he would replace it with a plan of his own in which the poor would receive free medical and dental care; the expenses would be paid with government taxes on marijuana and prostitution
>Slavoj Zizek
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>welder and an automobile muffler repair shop owner most known for his rampage with a modified bulldozer. Outraged over the outcome of a zoning dispute, he armored a Komatsu D355A bulldozer with layers of steel and concrete

>The rampage lasted 2 hours 7 minutes, destroying 13 buildings,[9] knocking out natural gas service to City Hall and the concrete plant, and damaging a truck and part of a utility service center. cost of the damage was estimated at $7 million.

> Attempts to disable the bulldozer's cameras with gunfire failed as the bullets were unable to penetrate the 3-inch (7.6 cm) bullet-resistant plastic. At one point during the rampage, Undersheriff Glenn Trainor managed to climb atop the bulldozer and rode the bulldozer "like a bronc-buster, trying to figure out a way to get a bullet inside the dragon"

>For visibility the bulldozer was fitted with several video cameras linked to two monitors mounted on the vehicle's dashboard; the cameras were protected on the outside by 3-inch (76 mm) shields of bullet-resistant plastic.[1] Onboard fans and an air conditioner were used to keep Heemeyer cool while driving, and compressed-air nozzles were fitted to blow dust away from the video cameras. He had made three gun-ports, fitted for a .50 caliber sniper rifle, a .308 semi-automatic, and a .22 long rifle, all fitted with a half-inch-thick (1.3 cm) steel plate

>"Once he tipped that lid shut, he knew he wasn't getting out",
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>rocket engineer and rocket propulsion researcher, chemist, and Thelemite occultist
>founder of the JPL, precursor to NASA
>security agents from the Manhattan Project discovered that Parsons had procured a chemical used in a top secret project for a material known only as x-metal,
>befriended L. Ron Hubbard

>In December 1945 Parsons began a series of rituals based on Enochian magic during which he masturbated onto magical tablets, accompanied by Sergei Prokofiev's Second Violin Concerto. Describing this magical operation as the Babalon Working, he hoped to bring about the incarnation of Thelemite goddess Babalon onto Earth. He allowed Hubbard to take part as his "scribe", believing that he was particularly sensitive to detecting magical phenomena.

>died in a explosion in his home after purchasing an ungodly amount of chemicals
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>stage magician turned spy and engineer

>Maskelyne joined the Royal Engineers when the Second World War broke out, thinking that his skills could be used in camouflage.

>A story runs that he convinced sceptical officers by creating the illusion of a German warship on the Thames using mirrors and a model.

>recruited Maskelyne to work for MI9 in Cairo, created small devices intended to assist soldiers to escape if captured and lectured on escape techniques.[7] These included tools hidden in cricket bats, saw blades inside combs, and small maps on objects such as playing cards.[
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>sold to a nunnery because had divine hallucinations

>Hildegard's works include three great volumes of visionary theology;[31] a variety of musical compositions for use in liturgy, as well as the musical morality play Ordo Virtutum; one of the largest bodies of letters (nearly 400) to survive from the Middle Ages, addressed to correspondents ranging from popes to emperors to abbots and abbesses, and including records of many of the sermons she preached in the 1160s and 1170s;[32] two volumes of material on natural medicine and cures;[33][34] an invented language called the Lingua ignota ("unknown language");[35] and various minor works, including a gospel commentary and two works of hagiography.
Fucking glorious bastard.
>literal tentacles touching her head on the depiction.
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>In 1983, Koresh began claiming the gift of prophecy. It is speculated[by whom?] that he had a sexual relationship with Lois Roden, the prophetess and leader of the sect, who was then 65 years old, eventually claiming that God had chosen him to father a child with her, who would be the Chosen One.

>Koresh played guitar and sang in church services at Mount Carmel Center. His band played a few times at clubs in Waco, and former members (such as David Thibodeau) have written that he recruited them through music. Koresh also tried pursuing his own record company but because of lack of funds and support was not successful.


>during a final standoff against federal and state authorities in an armored compound, Koresh and the sect gathered hundreds of firearms, including automatic 50 caliber anti-tank rifles

>As the standoff continued, Koresh, who was seriously injured by a gunshot wound, along with his closest male leaders, negotiated delays, possibly so he could write religious documents he said he needed to complete before he surrendered. His conversations with the negotiators were dense with biblical imagery.
holy shit thats amazing best giggle i had all day mate
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>watchmaker, inventor, playwright, musician, diplomat, spy, publisher, horticulturist, arms dealer, satirist, financier, and revolutionary

>wrote the famous Figaro plays, which were later adapted by Mozart and Rossini as "The Barber of Saville"


>as a child converted from Protestantism to Catholicism to avoid genocide
>invented a clock mechanism as a child
>after having credit for inventions stolen he vowed revenge against the powerful and invented an aristocratic identity to gain access to the royalty
>taught French King Louis XV's children the harp and other musical instruments
>wrote the Figaro plays and other populist propaganda which led to the French Revolution
>played a major role in delivering French munitions, money and supplies to the American army leading up to and during the American Revolution In order to secretly funnel aid to the rebels, he helped set up a fictitious business called Roderigue Hortalez and Company.
>was sent to an infamous prison for his insurgent activities where he had daily punishments of spankings
>after leaving prison continued to deal arms for revolutionaries around Europe
>was accused by his enemies of poisoning his first two wives in order to lay claim to their family inheritance, had three known wives, possibly more
>exiled to Germany where published propaganda until his death
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>American former professional wrestler, actor, political commentator, author, naval veteran, television host and politician who served as the 38th Governor of Minnesota

>member of what eventually became the Navy SEALS in Vietnam as part of an underwater demolitions team
>rode with a Cali-Mexican motocycle gang known as The Mongols
>bodyguard for the Rolling Stones
>film star in Predator
>WWF wrestler during early days
>now a drug addled conspiracy theorist and buddy of Alex Jones and Joe Rogan
>conspiracy theorist

yall see
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>Stanley was the first private individual to manufacture mass quantities of LSD. By his own account, between 1965 and 1967, Stanley produced no less than 500 grams of LSD, amounting to a little more than ten million doses at the time.

>Stanley met the members of the Grateful Dead during 1965;[12] he both financed them and worked with them as their first soundman.[13] Along with his close friend Bob Thomas, Stanley designed the Lightning Bolt Skull Logo.

>During his time as the sound engineer for the Grateful Dead, Stanley started what became the long-term practice of recording the Dead while they rehearsed and performed. His initial motivation for creating what he dubbed his "sonic journal" was to improve his ability to mix the sound

>In addition to his large archive of Dead performances, Stanley made numerous live recordings of other leading 1960s and 1970s artists appearing in San Francisco, including Quicksilver Messenger Service, Jefferson Airplane, early Jefferson Starship, Old and in the Way, Janis Joplin, Big Brother and the Holding Company, Taj Mahal, Santana, Miles Davis, the Flying Burrito Brothers, Jimi Hendrix, Johnny Cash, and Blue Cheer.[5]
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>He was a major player at a critical juncture in the Hundred Years' War between France and England, repeatedly switching sides in order to further his own agenda. His horrific death by burning was widely considered God's justice upon him.

>At the end of 1365 Séguin de Badefol arrived in Navarre to claim the considerable sums Charles had pledged to pay him for his services in Burgundy, even though he had achieved nothing of substance. Charles was not pleased to see him, received him in private and poisoned him with a crystallised pear.

>In 1377 he proposed to the English that he would return to Normandy and put the harbours and castles he still controlled there at their disposal for a joint attack on France; he also proposed that his daughter should be married to the new English King, the young Richard II.[28] But the threat of an attack by Castile forced Charles to remain in Navarre. Instead he sent off his eldest son to Normandy, with a number of officials, including his chamberlain Jacques de Rue, who were to prepare his castles to receive the English, as well as a servant whose mission was to insinuate himself into the royal kitchens in Paris and poison the King of France.

This guy never fucking stopped plotting. He couldn't help himself.

>Nicknamed "Fighting Jack Churchill" and "Mad Jack", he is known for the motto: "Any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed."

>Churchill gave the signal to attack by cutting down the enemy Feldwebel (staff sergeant) with a barbed arrow, becoming the only British soldier known to have felled an enemy with a longbow in the war.

>By the time Churchill reached India, Hiroshima and Nagasaki had been bombed and the war ended. Churchill was said to be unhappy with the sudden end of the war, saying: "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!"
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>"Eventually, she grew bored of Sérannes and became involved with a young woman. When the girl's parents put her away in the Visitandines convent in Avignon, Maupin followed, entering the convent as a postulant. In order to run away with her new love, she stole the body of a dead nun, placed it in the bed of her lover, and set the room on fire to cover their escape."

>"In Villeperdue, still wearing men's clothing, she was insulted by a young nobleman. They fought a duel and she drove her blade through his shoulder. The next day, she asked about his health and found out he was Louis-Joseph d'Albert Luynes, son of the Duke of Luynes. Later, one of his companions came to offer d'Albert's apologies. She went to his room and subsequently they became lovers and, later, lifelong friends."

>"Her Paris career was interrupted around 1695, when she kissed a young woman at a society ball and was challenged to duels by three different noblemen. She beat them all, but fell afoul of the king's law that forbade duels in Paris. She fled to Brussels to wait for calmer times. There, she was briefly the mistress of Maximilian II Emanuel, Elector of Bavaria."

>arrested first several times as a bush bandit and outlaw in Australia
>notorious bank robber
>as his gang grew he declared the illegitimacy of the English government in Australia, and attacked a police train
>when this failed, he and his gangmates manufactured metal plate armor and prepared for a final assault on town police
>outnumbered, all of Kelly's mates were killed, but he escaped alive, was caught and hanged, and died before leaving his immortal final words "such is life"
>-3 Cha goblin rogue
Man this article is written like crap, hella hard to follow.
The bard rolemodel.
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>Nick Land is a British philosopher, writer, and occultist
>influenced the current Trump administration through association of advisers Steve Bannon and Peter Thiel with the online neoreactionary movement
>in the 90s established an occult cybernetics organization at his university where he did copious amounts of methamphetamines, heroin, and hallucinogens while channeling the energies of the computer terminal he would type out papers and books at
>claims that capitalistic inventions such as the QWERTY keyboard are an embodied demonic spirit, cites the fact that the first famous philosophical work ever written on such a typewriter was Friedrich Nietzsche's "Thus Spake Zarathustra", written as the philosopher was losing his eyesight, hand coordination, and sanity, Bitcoin is a model for spacetime ontology

>at the conference Virtual Futures in 1996: Rather than reading a paper, in this collaboration with artist collective Orphan Drift, under the name of ‘DogHead SurGeri,’2 and complete with jungle soundtrack, Land lay behind the stage, flat on the floor (a ‘snake-becoming’ forming the first stage of bodily destratification), croaking enigmatic invocations intercut with sections from Artaud’s asylum poems. In this delirious vocal telegraphy, meaning seemed to disintegrate into sheer phonetic matter, melting into the cut-up beats and acting directly on the subconscious. As Land began to speak in his strange, choked-off voice (perhaps that ‘absurdly high pitched ... tone ... ancient demonists described as ‘silvery,’ which he later reports being taunted by),3 the disconcerted audience begin to giggle; the demon voice wavered slightly until Land’s sense of mission overcame his momentary self-consciousness; and as the ‘performance’ continued the audience fell silent, eyeing each other uncertainly as if they had walked into a funeral by mistake.
>/tg/ kobold fetishists
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The dream of every charisma based character ever.
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>"father of the H-Bomb" scientist known for his controversial positions on nuclear power and science in general, inspiration for the character Dr. Strangelove in Kubrick's film
>got bored with normal atomic weapons and wished to truly refine nuclear capabilities
>after the proliferation of his technology spread to other countries his proposed plan was to build giant lasers in space to shoot nuclear warheads down in what became known as the "Star Wars" projects, which were also to be used as research for the offensive use of lasers and nuclear warheads from space
>was a fierce advocate of nuclear power despite concerns about it safety and his own admittance that nuclear plants are only safe when built far underground
>his solution to this was to build them in holes created by enormous nuclear warhead blasts
>suggested that a giant harbor in Alaska should be built by blasting the coast with nuclear warheads
>offered his consulting to oil companies for a proposed technique involving blasting nuclear warheads in Canada for extraction from tar sands
>was approached for his expertise by space agencies on advise on how to get rid of space debris and dangerous asteroids, his advise was to blast them with nuclear warheads
>was one of the first people to recognize the dangers of global climate change, one of his solutions included blasting the atmosphere with nuclear warheads to create carbon traps
>one of the greatest physicists of all time and almost died of a heart attack he blamed on actress Jane Fonda
Literally a PC.
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That guy may have rolled 19 on charisma, but let me show you what someone who rolled 20 looks like.


>Frank William Abagnale, Jr. (/ˈæbəɡneJl/; born April 27, 1948) is an American security consultant known for his history as a former confidence trickster, check forger, and impostor between the ages of 15 and 21.
>He became one of the most famous impostors ever, claiming to have assumed no fewer than eight identities, including an airline pilot, a physician, a U.S. Bureau of Prisons agent, and a lawyer.
>He escaped from police custody twice (once from a taxiing airliner and once from a U.S. federal penitentiary), before he was 21 years old.
>He served less than five years in prison before starting to work for the federal government.
>He is currently a consultant and lecturer for the FBI academy and field offices.
>He also runs Abagnale & Associates, a financial fraud consultancy company.
>Abagnale's life story inspired the Academy Award-nominated feature film Catch Me If You Can (2002), starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Abagnale, as well as a Broadway musical, which are based on his autobiography of the same name.

>Pan Am estimated that between the ages of 16 and 18, Abagnale flew more than 1,000,000 miles (1,600,000 km) on more than 250 flights and flew to 26 countries by deadheading.
>As a company pilot, he was also able to stay at hotels for free during this time.
>Everything from food to lodging was billed to the airline company.
>Abagnale stated that he was often invited by actual pilots to take the controls of the plane in-flight.
>On one occasion, he was offered the courtesy of flying at 30,000 ft (9,100 m).
>He took the controls and enabled the autopilot, "very much aware that I had been handed custody of 140 lives, my own included ... because I couldn't fly a kite."
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>His official title was "Supreme and Perpetual Dictator of Paraguay", but he was popularly known as El Supremo.

>Francia was disgusted by Paraguay's class system imposed by Spain, and as a lawyer would defend the less fortunate against the affluent.

>His interest in astronomy, combined with his knowledge of French and other subjects considered arcane in Asunción, caused some superstitious Paraguayans to regard him as a wizard capable of predicting the future.

>Paraguayans often referred to him simply as "Dr. Francia" or Karaí Guazú ("great lord" in Guaraní). A few Indians meanwhile believed he had supernatural powers: when some saw him measuring the stars with his theodolite, they thought he was talking to night demons

>In March 1814, Francia banned Spaniards from marrying each other; they had to wed Indians, blacks, or mulattoes

>In October 1820, a plague of locusts destroyed most of the crops. Francia ordered a second harvest planted. It proved abundant, so from then on Paraguay's farmers planted two crops a year

>Francia kept a ledger of all the women he slept with, and despite having no close relationships he sired seven illegitimate children, the oldest being Ubalda García de Cañete. When he caught her prostituting herself outside his palace, he declared prostitution an honourable profession and that all whores should wear golden hair combs. They thus became known as "peinetas de oro" (gold combs) in order to humiliate Spanish ladies, as it was a Spanish fashion.

>Francia took several precautions against assassination. He would lock the Palace doors himself, unroll the cigars his sister made to ensure there was no poison, prepare his own yerba mate, and sleep with a pistol under his pillow. Even so, a maid tried to poison him with a piece of cake.

The most bard bard to ever bard
She was a badass enough to get posted twice ITT.
>In March 1814, Francia banned Spaniards from marrying each other; they had to wed Indians, blacks, or mulattoes

If Argentina had finished the job in 1870 God would have given them back the Falklands.
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>Fought in the Boer War 1899–1902
>Fought in the Bambatha Rebellion 1906
>Served a short time in the Chinese Revolution 1913
>Joined Mexican Revolution as Captain and Commander of Pancho Villa's artillery 1913
>Joined British Army 1914 as a Major and second in command of 15th Bn Northumberland Fusiliers
>Lieutenant-Colonel in the Canadian Expeditionary Force to Siberia 1918
>Transferred to Russian "White" Army February 1919 as Colonel
>In total he participated in 13 different wars, including WWI, across several continents
>Awarded 1914–15 Star, British War Medal, and Allied Victory Medal
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This is why the best guarantor of liberty is an unfettered absolutist monarchy with a complete monopoly on force.
Anon didn't quote the part where the guy fucking KILLED himself because there was no way for him to get out of the thing.
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the giant norseman at the battle of stamford bridge

>The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle has it that a giant Norse axeman (possibly armed with a Dane Axe) blocked the narrow crossing and single-handedly held up the entire English army. The story is that this axeman cut down up to 40 Englishmen and was defeated only when an English soldier floated under the bridge in a half-barrel and thrust his spear through the planks in the bridge, mortally wounding the axeman
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suck on this:

>He took the controls and enabled the autopilot, "very much aware that I had been handed custody of 140 lives, my own included ... because I couldn't fly a kite."
At least he was still a good guy

Can't forget that Hubbard stole his girlfriend away and spent his money on yachts.

I'm pretty sure John McAfee is the current PC in this persistent setting.
He made a fuckton of cash with those yachts. They were worth twice as much on the other coast, basically he just bought them, cruised to the other coast then repeated the process.

The Man Who Sold The Eiffel Tower. Twice.

>knew multiple languages
>conned the French, the Austrians and the Americans
>sold the Eiffel Tower for scrap twice
>routinely had a money-printing con while on a transatlantic yatch
>conned Al Capone
>had several mistresses
>wrote the ten commandments for conmem
I'm appalled that this guy hasn't been mentioned. Literally like an NPC.
Meant to say PC.
Good ole Killdozer.
But because they started the job a better bunch took it off them.
More like he wanted to kill himself so he built a god damn dozer tank to get revenge on everyone who made him want to kill himself and then killed himself.
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Yeah. Reading about this guy in Barbara Tuchman's "A distant mirror" is amazing.

So in essence his belief was that everything could be solved by blasting stuff with nuclear warheads?

I can get behind that idea.
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Real-life animal companion.
>Brown bear adopted by polish soldiers
>Officially enlisted as a Private because pets weren't technically allowed
>Drank beer and ate cigarettes
>mfw I'm a german scout and I don't know how to explain to my commander that the other side has bears carrying ammo
>QWERTY keyboard are an embodied demonic spirit, cites the fact that the first famous philosophical work ever written on such a typewriter was Friedrich Nietzsche's "Thus Spake Zarathustra"
Too bad the German keyboard doesn't use QWERTY!


>choose one
Baron von Ungern, aka the Mad Baron, aka the Bloody Baron


>single-handedly kicked the Chinese out of Mongolia and restored the Bogd Khan to power
>worshipped by the Mongols as an avatar of their god of war
>rumoured to have found Shambhala
>infiltrated a Chinese held city all alone to inspect its defences before the siege, when he saw a Chinese soldier sleeping on the post, he flogged him for loitering
>wanted to gather a second Mongolian horde and literally take over the world
>created a new religion that was a mixture of Lutheranism, Buddhism and Norse paganism
>created an order of Buddhist crusaders
>used the swastika as his war insignia before Hitler made it mainstream
>before his execution by the Bolsheviks he promised to come back from the grave and destroy them

>Nicknamed "White Death"

>All of Häyhä's kills were accomplished in fewer than 100 days

>A. Svensson, Häyhä's division commander, credited Häyhä with 219 confirmed sniper kills, and an equal number of kills by submachine gun, when he awarded Häyhä an honorary rifle on 17 February 1940. In his diary, military chaplain Antti Rantamaa reported 259 confirmed sniper kills and an equal number of kills by machine/submachine gun from the beginning of the war until 7 March 1940

>Häyhä was hit in his lower left jaw by an explosive bullet fired by a Red Army soldier.

>He was picked up by fellow soldiers who said "half his face was missing", but he did not die, regaining consciousness on 13 March
>What is a Conservative libertarian?
>What is the bottom right quadrant of the political chart?
It doesn't make sense, but they do exist anon.
>what is a conservative libertarian
A retard.

Top right or GTFO.
>Top Right
My brother. Are you fascist, Monarchist, or what have you on the chart?
>Lauri Allan Törni (28 May 1919 – 18 October 1965), later known as Larry Thorne, was a Finnish Army captain who led an infantry company against the Soviet Union in the Finnish Winter and Continuation Wars and moved to the United States after World War II.
>He fought under three flags: Finnish, German (when he again fought the Soviets in World War II), and American (where he was known as Larry Thorne) when he served in U.S. Army Special Forces in the Vietnam War. Törni was killed in action during the Vietnam War.
Political parties are a social construct. Your political alignment is whatever you say it is.
It makes sense in the way that anarchy naturally favors conservative behavior over liberal behavior. Cannibal biker gangs certainly wouldn't care what pronouns you identify as.
clearly an avatr of nyarlathotep on an errand for azathoth

On His Majesty's Nuclear Errand
Fascist would be pretty damn close.

You're thinking progressive, not liberal.
>how should we-
Blast it with nuclear warheads
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Fascism is a term always used inappropriately. Logically, it would be a system of government, not an ideology. It's typically an instrument used to implement an ideology or philosophy. Fascism is simple, it derives from "fasces", a bundle of rods, the idea being that many weak rods bound together are stronger than individual rods. "Strength through unity" is the core of fascism, uniting the people to give the government ultimate power and control of the media and economy in order to implement whichever ideology they want. Hitler used fascism to implement socialism and meritocracy, Pinochet used it to implement capitalism, Kim Il-Sung used it to implement communism and a cult-of-personality dictatorship, and so on. Rome used a very pure form of fascism for raw power and domination. Ironically, it's tough to say that Mussolini was even a fascist, as he failed to unite the people in the first place. The same goes for modern "fascists", both self-proclaimed and accused. They prefer to take one rod and smash it against the others, not bind them together. It's ridiculous to identify primarily as a fascist as it only signifies an instrument.
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>Joseph "Joe" Medicine Crow (October 27, 1913 – April 3, 2016) was a war chief, author and historian of the Crow Nation of Native Americans.

>He earned a master's degree in anthropology from the University of Southern California in Los Angeles in 1939; he was the first member of the Crow tribe to obtain a master's degree.

>Medicine Crow joined the Army in 1943. He became a scout in the 103rd Infantry Division, and fought in World War II. Whenever he went into battle, he wore his war paint beneath his uniform and a sacred eagle feather beneath his helmet.

>Medicine Crow completed all four tasks required to become a war chief in WW2: touching an enemy without killing him (counting coup), taking an enemy's weapon, leading a successful war party, and stealing an enemy's horse (singing a traditional Crow honor song as he rode off)

WW2 is a goldmine
why blindfold it, was he ashamed?
>stealing an enemy's horse (singing a traditional Crow honor song as he rode off)

Just imagine the enemy soldier reaction to this
The 13th of March is the day the war ended by the way.
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Based on my knowledge of the incident :
>Be me, Waffen SS sergeant Anon Von Anonstein
>Seize a nice little house for me and my buddies to move on after I retreated once again
>Kill the occupants
>They're french anyway
>Park my horse on their backyard
>They had sawdust, raw frogs, and a bottle of wine they made out of real wine grape roots
>Have a lovely dinner with me and the boys
>This war sure is going nicely
>Secretly think of escaping to Argentina
>Remember I'm a low rank fag
>tfw no untermensch half-caste gf
>Suddenly hear neighing outside
>Almost thought I was getting attacked by the FFI
>Rush through the door in panick
>Now there's chantings what in the name of Adolf
>See a neger escaping with mein horse
>Singing what I recognize to be a traditional Crow honor song
>Forget to fire my MP45 as I gaze in complete awe
>How can I be the good guy, when the baddy pulls out something like this shit
>Reconsider my devotion to the reich
>Wollt ich das totalen krieg???
>dass Gefühl wenn
>He also led a successful war party and stole fifty horses owned by the Nazi SS from a German camp[7] singing a traditional Crow honor song as he rode off.[8]
>" The collision knocked the German's weapon to the ground. Mr. Crow lowered his own weapon and the two fought hand-to-hand. In the end Mr. Crow got the best of the German, grabbing him by the neck and choking him. He was going to kill the German soldier on the spot when the man screamed out 'momma.' Mr. Crow then let him go.[3]"
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Level 1 Druid
Animal companion: raccoon.
Fail, /tg/


Fail corrected.
Not really a people.
I mean - he was Polish.
That's harsh for someone who did literally everything right in life.
Let's not forget the part where he used a council of sorcerers he collected from across the steppe to divine the position of enemy forces instead of using spies. And it worked.

Or how he married a Manchu princess who he conversed with solely in English, so that none of the members of his horde could know what they were plotting. Incidentally, there is no record of her being captured after Sterberg's death, suggesting that she escaped. There may actually be a secret heir to the Mad Baron out there right now.
I have a new hero.
Cleric of Marx
His heir is Putin. The dude is clearly 1/4 Asian, and there's significant evidence of his ancestry being a complete fabrication. And how else would some random mid level intelligence operative of no particular note end up becoming president almost over night?
This theory makes way too much sense.

I dare you to tell me this dude isn't a PC.
>Beyrle was eventually able to persuade the battalion's commander (Aleksandra Samusenko, allegedly the only female tank officer of that rank in the war) to allow him to fight alongside the unit on its way to Berlin, thus beginning his month-long stint in a Soviet tank battalion, where his demolitions expertise was appreciated.
I'm imagining this went down like one of the old 60's James Bond movies.
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>Tarrare joined the French Revolutionary Army. With military rations unable to satisfy his large appetite, he would eat any available food from gutters and refuse heaps but his condition still deteriorated through hunger. Suffering from exhaustion, he was hospitalised and became the subject of a series of medical experiments to test his eating capacity, in which, among other things, he ate a meal intended for 15 people in a single sitting, ate live cats, snakes, lizards and puppies, and swallowed an eel whole without chewing

>he agreed to submit to any procedure that would cure his appetite, and was treated with laudanum, tobacco pills, wine vinegar and soft-boiled eggs. The procedures failed, and doctors could not keep him on a controlled diet; he would sneak out of the hospital to scavenge for offal in gutters, rubbish heaps and outside butchers' shops, and attempted to drink the blood of other patients in the hospital and to eat the corpses in the hospital morgue.

>After being suspected of eating a toddler he was ejected from the hospital.
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you are like little babies watch this


>Roth had launched a program where members of his road crew would be given five backstage passes to hand out to women eager to meet the frontman. The roadie who picked the girl(s) who ended up going to bed with Roth was awarded $100 and commended the next evening at dinner. The program was so efficient that it ended up cutting stage breakdown time in half and led to Roth actually asking his lawyers if they could insure his “little Elvis.” (penis)

>The contract rider read like a version of the Chinese Yellow Pages because there was so much equipment, and so many human beings to make it function. So just as a little test, in the technical aspect of the rider, it would say “Article 148: There will be fifteen amperage voltage sockets at twenty-foot spaces, evenly, providing nineteen amperes …” This kind of thing. And article number 126, in the middle of nowhere, was: “There will be no brown M&M’s in the backstage area, upon pain of forfeiture of the show, with full compensation.”

>I came backstage. I found some brown M&M’s, I went into full Shakespearean “What is this before me?” … you know, with the skull in one hand … and promptly trashed the dressing room. Dumped the buffet, kicked a hole in the door, twelve thousand dollars’ worth of fun.

>"Diamond Dave" was rumored to have installed a metal pipe in his nose for a few months of heavy cocaine using in the 80s to reduce nasal bleeding.

>he now lived in Tokyo Japan where he has taken up Akido and Katana swordsmanship training from some of Japan's most famous martial arts teachers
>posts the snopes article that states the true reason for the brown m&ms thing
>posts as if the brown m&ms thing makes no sense
>Cannibal biker gangs certainly wouldn't care what pronouns you identify as.

I mean they could. Being a cannibal doesn't exclude it, nor does being a biker. the type of person who might become a cannibal biker may not use them, but the title in of itself is not indicative of that way of thinking.
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>After losing a lawsuit in which he tried to void his rice contract, Norton's public prominence faded. He reemerged in September 1859, laying claim to the position of Emperor of the United States.
>Although he had no political power, and his influence extended only so far as he was humored by those around him, he was treated deferentially in San Francisco, and currency issued in his name was honored in the establishments he frequented.
>Though some considered him insane or eccentric, citizens of San Francisco celebrated his regal presence and his proclamations, such as his order that the United States Congress be dissolved by force and his numerous decrees calling for a bridge crossing connecting San Francisco to Oakland, and a corresponding tunnel to be built under San Francisco Bay.

fail anon, fail

>Tarrare was called on by Beauharnais to demonstrate his abilities before a gathering of the commanders of the Army of the Rhine.[9] Having swallowed the box successfully, Tarrare was given a wheelbarrow filled with 30 pounds (14 kg) of raw bull's lungs and liver as a reward,[2] which he immediately ate in front of the assembled generals.
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This guy is like someone grabbed Charles Manson, Ron Paul, Donald Trump, Marilyn Manson and Florida Guy and mixed them up into one person. Holy fucking shit.
So what possibly was this guys real life problem?

I mean obviously vampire, or some variety of ghoul. But like if I open a medical textbook, what could explain his problem?
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>He was described as having unusually soft fair hair and an abnormally wide mouth

probably some thyroid condition, I know having wiry blonde soft hair is a symptom of celiac sometimes

speaking of fair hair...

>sometimes transcribed in English as MacCool
>The young Fionn met the leprechaun-like druid and poet Finn Eces, or Finnegas, near the river Boyne and studied under him. Finnegas had spent seven years trying to catch the Salmon of Knowledge, which lived in a pool on the Boyne and became all-knowing through its diets of hazelnuts from a holy tree: whoever ate the salmon would gain all the knowledge in the world.
It checks out.
Fionn Mac Cumhail wasn't real dumbass.

If you're going to bring legendaries into it, try Cu Chulainn. Equally fictional but with more of a basis in history. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C%C3%BA_Chulainn
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>known as "the world's first cyborg" or "the father of wearable computing"
>signal processing and human-computer interface genius
>got assaulted by a McDonalds employee after capturing him on video with counter-surveillance
>has grown so accustomed and dependent on his machinery that he gets sick when not using them
>can see electromagnetic waves
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>Michael Aquino was a military intelligence officer specialising in psychological warfare.[10] In 1969 he joined Anton LaVey's Church of Satan and rose rapidly through the group's ranks.

>created a schism within the organization and founded the Temple of Set

>the Temple created its own distributed intranet for communication around the world, publishing works on psyops and collating an archive of left-hand esotericism
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>was a Frenchman who claimed to be the first native of Formosa (today Taiwan) to visit Europe.

>first impersonated an Irishman to travel through France to save money claiming he was on a pilgrimage to the Vatican
>as he got more north to areas that traded with the British Isles it became harder to keep up the con so he upped his game and became Japanese
>after getting to Holland, which had trade relations with Japan, he again had to up his game and claimed to be Taiwanese and invented a bullshit religion and language
>his popularity as a Taiwanese grew so much he published a successful book on the formosan language until he became an opiate addict until his death
Myeah, no. La Maupin has the whole also being a duellist and getting pardon from the king thing. She was as classy as she was lecherous, and thus, a truer bard.

Diamond Dave had so many groupie babies that his penis contract with Lloyd's of London included paternity insurance
Ah, good ol' Mad Jack.
The spanish... the spanish are special.

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>risen through the ranks from pretty much a nobody
>defended Hungary's southern frontiers against the Ottomans
>became voivode of Transylvania
>became Regent of Hungary
>decided that the stuff the Hussites were doing with their war wagons was way too cool and started doing it
>beat Ottomans up left and right
>defended Belgrade against the Ottoman Sultan himself
>by attacking the Ottomans with a fleet on the Danube
>then striking out from the fortress against their siege camp
>defending Belgrade was such a big deal the Pope himself ordered every church bell rung at noon a week in advance so people will pray for the defenders
>church bells continue to be rung at noon to this day
>the victory at Belgrade secured the country for 60 years
>his son became the greatest king of Hungary

The man had it made. Except for the part with dying of the plague after his greatest military victory.
So I'm guessing this guy wrote his own wikipedia page.
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>Only Empress of China without an emperor regent, former concubine
>rumored to have strangled her own daughter to frame the Emperor's wife
>buddied up with a Taoist sorceror to cast curses on enemies and divine the future, dethroning the incumbent Emperor's wife
>avoided assassination through hardcore spying and playing groups against eachother
>become a witch combining ideas from Buddhism, Daoism and Confucianism to solidify her divine power
>expanded the empire, conquering Tibet, Turkish lands, and Korea
Perennial favorite Ching Shih, the best pirate in history: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ching_Shih

>brothel girl in Guangzhou
>captured by pirates
>connive your way into marriage to a pirate king
>use your cunning to help him expand his fleet
>he dies suddenly
>manipulate his family into following you loyally
>seize the reins of power and run this shit yourself
>expand on your husband's pirate code, building a formidable fighting force
>300 junks, ~30,000 pirates and hangers-on
>levy taxes against towns, but never rob the peasantry
>Qing dynasts try to put you down
>Portugese try to put you down
>British try to put you down
>seize assets from British East India Company, laugh
>pirate empire keeps getting bigger
>Chinese offer amnesty!
>jump at opportunity, retire with wealth intact
>literally win at piracy
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They're called Anarcho-Capitalists and they're absolutely hilarious.
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>researcher of the nature of consciousness using mainly isolation tanks, dolphin communication, and psychedelic drugs, sometimes in combination
>inventor of the isolation tank
>yoga and meditation master

>Solid State Intelligence (S.S.I.) is a malevolent entity described by Lilly (see The Scientist). According to Lilly, the network of computation-capable solid state systems (electronics) engineered by humans will eventually develop (or has already developed) into an autonomous bioform. Since the optimal survival conditions for this bioform (low-temperature vacuum) are drastically different from those needed by humans (room temperature aerial atmosphere and adequate water supply), Lilly predicted (or "prophesised", based on his ketamine-induced visions) a dramatic conflict between the two forms of intelligence.

>(researched) the existence of a certain hierarchical group of cosmic entities, the lowest of which he later dubbed Earth Coincidence Control Office (E.C.C.O.) in an autobiography published jointly with his wife Antonietta (often referred to as Toni). To elaborate, "There exists a Cosmic Coincidence Control Center (CCCC) with a Galactic substation called Galactic Coincidence Control (GCC). Within GCC is the Solar System Control Unit (SSCU), within which is the Earth Coincidence Control Office (ECCO).
Crocs/alligators will react if they see a threat or food and start fighting their bindings. Blindfolding them helps keep the critter calm and docile.
>The dude is clearly 1/4 Asian
He has Finnish ancestry, case closed.
Extra Credits recently finished a short series about him.

Greatest achievement: killing a dog. That's Ireland's national hero for you.
Killing the dog was not an amazing feat it was his moment of shame.

It's the story he's most known for because of the meaning behind it, not because it was an amazing feat.

See, he fucked up, he had no right to kill that animal and he was pitted against it because he was dumb and immature but he had to kill it because it was do or die.
More importantly he took full responsibility for his actions after the fact, taking the dogs place as a bodyguard.

It's about humility, not glory.
this sounds like a quick rundown
survival bump
Worthless ignoramus incapable of actually researching anything besides shitty memes detected. Please neck yourself as soon as possible, thanks.

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