> after being awakened, the ancient evil complains about it and goes back to sleep
>after awakening, the ancient but sexy, "experienced" evil seeks a spouse
>>52415126>Ancient evil is a fucking thrallherd with powerful phermones that he used to cuck entire deific pantheons, ruin marriages, and sodomize unwilling participhants if they hit the cues for his xenophilia fetish>Coined the Book of Nymphology and Tome of Forbidden Carnal Lusts>If released he will cuck everyone to death
>>52415087We can work with that. We only need an explosive tantrum. Then we conquer the ruins.
>the ancient evil only wanted to take out some trash
>the ancient evil is from a time when heroes were a lot weaker and less common and is B-list at best.
>>52415087>the ancient evil can't fall asleep, is desperate, begs PCs for help
>>52415087I think this is the perfect anti-climax for a long and difficult campaign.Stolen.
>>52415087Yeah, I read Call of Cthulhu too.
>>52415087>The ancient evil is senile, deaf and won't shut up about 'Nam
>>52415087>Ancient evil slept for so long it forgot it was evil and ancient to begin with
>>52415087This happens in The Witcher 3 with an Elder Vampire.
>the ancient evil is actually a baby from a race of gods throwing a tantrum and the mcguffen that can seal its power is basically a pacifier.
>the ancient evil awakens>is a traumatized weakened mess because the isolation drove them mad>summoner now has to care for an almighty geriatric wreck with tremendous abandonment and codependency problems
>ancient evil awakens and realizes it grossly overslept>heroes are hired not necessarily to slay the foe, but collect its exorbitant late fees on library books and rent.
>>52415087>ancient evil is actually just cranky because people keep waking him up with offerings he didn't ask for>if people would just let him sleep for a full 8 millennia, he'd feel fresh and usher in a new age of peace and prosperity
>Campaign where the heroes WANT to wake the ancient evil as fast as humanly possible, since then it'll be weak enough to destroy, compared to the celestial ritual happening in a year which is the waking equivalent of a cup of espresso, a tab of Adderall, a quick slap to the nuts just to make sure you're paying attention
>Ancient good awakens>heroes attack him since up till now anyone who has re-awoken after millennia has been evil.
>ancient evil awakens>morals and ethics have changed so much in the last 10,000 years that the ancient evil is considered pretty moderate by todays standards.
>>52416273>ancient good awakens>ancient evil awakens>ancient apathy awakens>turns out the PCs are sick to dogfuck of this shit and have begun a grand quest to forcibly alarm clock every sleeping asshole on the planet to force them into a ring to go get a GODDAMN JOB YOU LAZY FUCKS, IT'S AFTER NOON ALREADY! GET YOUR *LIVES* TOGETHER
>>52415087>Ancient Evil awakens>It has 180 HP, DR -/+3, -15 AC, and it takes a full minute to resolve its entire allotment of attacks (which do 2d10 damage).
>>52415087>ancient evil is narcoleptic
/tg/'s first born is the ancient evil. Will you quest against your very own flesh and blood?
>>52416673Of course, who else is going to do the job?>I brought you into this world, I can damn well take you out of it as well>Now go to your room, you're grounded for another 1,000 years
>>52415474>Final bossfight is against your own female party members.
>>52416673There's actually a template based around this in 3.5, was in the same book as that Moose Demigod of spite, was also in Citscape as a Dread necromancer.
>>52416673My current character? He'd probably raise him to try and be good, despite the evil nature inherent in him, because he knows what it's like. It'd probably turn into an anime-esque "Help me dad, kill me, I can't fight it's influence for much longer" sort of fight, knowing my DM. And it'd wrench my fucking heart in two
>>52416041That would be kind of sad> the ancient evil was sealed by the most powerful magics of the ancient world, for it could not be destroyed> 2000 years of magical research has happened since then> your options are to just fucking destroy it, seal it away FOREVER, or bully it into submission"Finally, about two thousands years I am FREE! Time to take over the world!""Not if I can help it!""A fighter? how quaint. No mortal weapon can h- OWWWWWW OW OW OW what the fuck IS that?""Its a +3 longsword.""A what?""A weapon forged with magic.""You can do that now?"
>>52415087>the ancient evil awakens. Hungover as fuck.>are you players bad enough dudes to find a hangover cure for a eldritch star god?
>>52417819>BEHOLD, TREMBLE AT IT'S MIGHT, THE PANACEA OF THE GODS: REALLY FUCKIN BIG ASPIRIN
>>52415087>new goodness is going to take a nap. It promises it will be half an hour max.
>>52417918>Teen apathy angsts about the place.
>>52418191Middle aged neutrality is woke af
>>52418285>Retired Evil has gone to the everglades to be racist and constantly ask to speak to the manager of any store it walks into
>>52415087>Samurai Jack Season 5
>>52417818I love it. Make the seal, like, a level 5 spell. "That took 4 Wizards and a really skilled Sorcerer at the time!"
>>52418355FOORISH SAMURAI, YOU... YOU STILL AREN'T DEADFuck this, I'm going to bed
>>52415087>ancient evil, destroyer of countless worlds>defeated by friendship and love
>>52417858>Bloody Mary full of Mary's blood.
>>52418657>After this is discovered, friendship and love are locked away and banned from the land by wizards, fearing its power.>Newborn babies capacity to form relationships is magically locked away>Land turns into a dark and paranoid hellscape where none can co-operate>Ancient evil won in the end anyway.
>>52415087> the ancient evil is off its meds again
>the ancient evil is awoken, prepare your an-
>>52420364>the ancient evil has to be coaxed down gently from a tree, lest it hurt itself.
>>52420553well it did say retired.
>the ancient evil is actually a elf wizard who was put under a really effective sleep spell>has to experience loss like humans do of losing people
>>52420599you mean like imprisonment?
>>52417818>>52416041>>52417818>>52418399I've always thought this exact thing whenever an evil awakens after "10,000 years" or something.They were literally sealed away by Cavemen; by humanity when it was in the neolithic, I'm not sure they'll do much better now that it's the modern era and there's computers, nuclear armaments, and 7-11's. ......Unless it's a ferngully kind of situation and the lack of industrialization was impeding their power and the modern age has and will in fact make them exceedingly powerful than we could ever possibly imagine.
>>52420639gotta relative in jail?
>ancient evil awakens and tries to restart its old evil empire>however modern evil is so well established that it cant get started>ends up becoming an object of worship for a small sewer dwelling cult and dreams of its glory days
>>52420853I meant the spell but sure.
>>52415087>After awakening, the Ancient Evil immediately spends the next six months in the bathroom since there was nowhere to go in its prison.
>ancient evil >doesn't awake
>>52423166Could still be effective if it's sheer passive evilness leaks out into the world around it, and a bunch of lesser evils are motivated to be more active by the prospect of either waking it up or keeping it asleep and stealing its power.
>>52416095This positively needs to be further developped
>ancient evil awakens>falls flat on it's face as it's legs give out from not being used for so longAlternatively,>ancient evil awakens>passes out from the blood rush
>>52423649>ancient evil awakens>needs 20 mins to fap because it hasn't done so in centuries>you have 20 minutes to prevent its spreadwhat do?
>ancient weevils awaken>Elves_Sweating_Profusely.mpg
>The ancient evil wishes its cultists would sacrifice some real food instead of virgin blood>It keeps telepathically sending them pizza recipes, but the cultists think these are cryptic metaphors
>>52423684That may be the only time "I roll to seduce" is acceptable.
>>52416332>Ancient Evil God of Lust and Degeneracy Awakens>Is immediately berated for slut-shaming and using wrong pronouns
>>52423649>ancient evil awakens>takes a 20 year long piss
>>52418705WIZARDS: NO SENSE OF RIGHT OR WRONG.>A group of people who somehow were born with the ability to feel compassion and love become the new "villains"of the setting, going from town to town, spreading love and joy wherever they go.> They're all so sweet and sappy about it too.> Their ultimate goal is to undo the seal on love and friendship, so that everyone can be friends and all that fluffy crap.
>ancient evil awakens>spends an awful amount of time to learn the new customs and technology of the day
>the ancient evil was only really "evil" because the people who sealed him were holier-than-thou cunts that sealed him for eating meat when they were vegetarians
>the ancient evil awakens>however it was the "ancient evil" to a race of sentient sheep, so really it's just a dire wolf
>>52426045>Ancient vegan awakes>PCs have to stop it from activating all of the world's almonds
>the ancient evil awakens>it instantly dies of old age
>ancient balance is jealous of all those sleeping faggots while she's still at work
>>52417818Almost exactly this happens in Buffy at some point. Bitch blows away an "undefeatable ancient evil" with a goddamn rocket launcher.
>An ancient Ennui awakens- immediately regrets waking.
>>52426045>the ancient evil awakens>He is really reasonable, makes you tea, and ask you for what happened the past thousand years.>You drink together, and become fast friends.
>"ancient evil" awakens>first thing it says is "Where's my daughter? I won't let you take her!"
>>52426560>you quest to aid the ancient evil, bringing bbq and assorted other meats to the land.>Entire campaign is basically dungeon meshi from then on.
>>52423684I've gotten to the point where it takes me 40 to 60 minutes to fapBecause I fap twice a day every day.
>>52415087> after being awakened, the ancient evil complains about it and tells you to go away> find out ancient evil is really just a big neet now> the entire mile long underground corridor to his sealing room is lined with old piss bottles
>>52424597>>Ancient Evil God of Lust and Degeneracy Awakens>What's this...internet thing?>OH GODS!
>>52427057>you question the ancient NEET>It tells you, after being a Virgin for 30 years millenia ago, it unlocked wizard powers, slew a village and was locked away by the chad knights.>Has spent the time since shitposting on a cosmic imageboard>Has made memes more powerful than 9th level spells>You beg to know more>He inscribes an image in your mind so funny and relevant you immediately die laughing.>He goes back to astral shitposting.
>>52427049>eating meatYeah nope, prepare for smiting.
>>52415087>the ancient abomination is disturbed just long enough to wipe out most of the world as it rolls over and goes back to sleepI fucking loved The Secret World.
>>52420961>ancient evil awakens>the job market is a lot more competetive>newer evils took his job while he slept>can't get his old job back>has to get a degree
>>52427172>Order of Vegan Paladins>They were strong in their glory days because they were only Vegetarians>Now they're all too weak to even lift a sword because their faith has driven them to eat less and less.>Their gaunt, skeletal forms are easily knocked over>Seeing this, their god begins to softly weep.
>>52416673>Will you quest against your very own flesh and blood?My main character quested against his own father and aunt, grand-parents, cousins and brothers. It's complicated.Questing against his child would not be surprising
>>52415087>a band of goody two-shoes disturbs a tomb/crypt/evil burial ground while hunting undead>ancient evil awakes>cleric sweats profusely then begins to turn undead>ancient evil turns 360 degrees then slays the party and moonwalks back into the coffin
>>52416041>>52417818> Fighter Hero just can't make himself finish off the Ancient Evil, due to how pathetic it is> Ancient Evil demands that the hero finish what he started, if only to salvage what little pride it has left, but is ignored by the hero> Ancient Evil proceeds to follow the hero around, so that it can either get the hero to finish it off, or learn more of the world it has awoken to>Shitty light novel/anime mode: the AE is actually a girl, getting into all sorts of wacky shenanigans with the hero, with her eventually discovering she wants the hero's D, not that she'll admit it until late in the season, where some true AE appears, somehow causing the fem AE to raven her feelings, hero reveals his feelings to her, and that utterly destroy the villain with the power of love/bullshit/something
>>52427247>realizing potential profit, the party steals the ancient evil casket and goes on a worldwide tour playing songs using turn undead>GM has a fit and refuses to play with group again
>>52427675Does turn undead make skellys roll around in their caskets? It could be like ribcage xylophone pina colada. A single cleric using turn undead on boxed skellys. Who needs a bard anyway
>>52427693Some goth artificer making a really edgy pipe organ out of hollowed out skellybones and the souls of the damned escaping through them makes sound.>Some bard finds it and only uses it to play jaunty circus music
>>52427462I would totaly watch that anime
>>52427191>has to get a degree>has to become the underling of a modern evil if it is ever going to pay back the loan it had to take to get that degree
>>52428206>Ancient evil, afraid and confused of the world it no longer controls, hangs itself in its shitty one room apartment.>As it can't actually die, all this does is make it cry harder>It's boss, Modern Evil, stops by in a Ferrari and laughs
>>52428206>>52428220Okay this is too fucking much, lay off the ancient evil.
>>52428168There's an old isekai manga about a school girl who's the ancient evil of the fantasy world she's spirited away to. The brooding beau who's protecting her from various assailants is the destined hero who's supposed to kill her.She and the readers only find out about that very late into the series because she doesn't speak - or even understand - the langauge spoken by the natives for an equally long time.
>ancient evil awakened a while ago but layed low and became a law abiding citizen because it didn't want to get back in that damn hole for another 10,000 years
>The ancient evil awakens>The plot she has been brooding on for thousands of years has been trivialized by modern technology, to the point of being less a humanity-ending event and more of a harmless prank
>>52428220>Ancient Evil proceeds to try and kill itself again>Entire episodes of the Ancient Evil failing to kill itself over and over, each time trying some new inventive method, and each time getting more and more depressed>Eventually Ancient Evil receives a letter from the Re:Life corporation, saying it has been chosen as a part of an experimental government program to re-adjust suicidal neets to be healthy members of society>Modern Evil is actually the director of the program, and makes sure the experience is "accidentally" as hellish as possible for the Ancient Evil>The show spirals into edgier and ever darker territory, eventually ending with a qt 3.14 paladin girl (working part time as a door-to-door salesgirl) finding the ancient evil in its home crying and shuddering in a corner when the door was open>She smites him, but an ironic mindblowing twist occurs.
>>52428249you will sauce me
>>52428327is the twist that they swap bodies? Because it should be.
>>52428393>ancient evil beomes qt 3.14 paladin girl. taking full control over her body>turns out 3.14 paladin girl was modern evil's girlfriend
>>52428368Could've been the other way around too, as in she's supposed to ice him and he's supposed to be the current evil god, but he decide that he wasn't going to kill a goddamn little girl or turn evil just because there's some fuck ass old prophecy telling him to.
>>52415087>The ancient evil has already awakened long ago.>No one noticed.
>>52428407>Ancient Evil cuts Modern Evil's cock off during sex, burns it in a ritual, takes his rightful place and Ancient Evil qt 3.14 and begins her rule of darkness over the world using both modern and ancient evil domains.
>an ancient evil awakens from the thousands of years he's been in an astral prison in his mind>turns out that astral mind prison is really good at reforming people and has long realised the error of his ways>settles down and becomes a farmer, uses his ancient dominion over the elements to help other local farms with their irrigation>dies of old age a cherished local hero>local Paladins of the order built to reseal him millennia ago spend those few decades feeling rather foolish
>>52415087>a cute, sleepy ancient evil that just wants someone to cuddle with while she naps This is my dream
>>52428454>Domain of ModernThis sounds interesting. Maybe a cleric specializing in technological magick? A god of inventions
>>52415087>after being awakened, the ancient evil says "good morning!" asks you what's for breakfast
>>52428548You mean the Modern Magic UA? I meant Modern Evil Domain and Ancient Evil Domain. So Modern evil would be a lot of corruption within society and business and Ancient evil would be generic fantasy evil controlling the elements and the arcane and having powers of fear and such.
>>52415087The perfect antagonist for this guy
>>52429904Is his fridge in the thirteenth plane of torment`?
>>52429998I bet a fucking wizard put it there.
>>52430046Well in that case he did pretty good. I mean he's still infinitely far away from his destination, but somehow he's a lot closer than from his living room.
>>52424460>plucky neophyte takes it literally and bakes a pizza >it's blasphemously delicious >starts a cult-themed pizzeria >everyone just assumes Pizza of the Damned is a marketing gimmick>the kid isn't high enough level to ping evil>as he reveals the dark truth to his most loyal patrons, the cult grows in influence >more and more blood sacrifices are made in exchange for more and more delicious pizza recipes>the business has grown into a chain, and rends a dark scar across the land >but still, no one has stopped to consider BRINGING THEIR MASTER A GODDAMNED PIZZA, WHAT IN THE NINE HELLS IS WRONG WITH YOU WHELPS
>>52430308The cult of the pizza:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-XgMymBIY0>CRUST FIRST>PRESIDENT SECOND
>>52428168Haiyore! Nyaruko-san is basically this with Nyarlahotep.The season 2 OP is also catchy as fuck.
>>52430401Oh, almost forgot. There's a shitload of CoC references in there that some of the fansubbers miss, as well as a bunch of sentai references that will probably go over the heads of everyone but arch-weebs.
>>52423486I had an idea a while back for a bbeg who was pilot in nam turned lich who thought the war was still on and raised an army to fight the Viet Cong.
>>52415087>ancient evil doesn't even bother to put flaming eyebrows on
>>52430308>"Master, I've had a vision. But I don't understand what it means.">"Proceed">"it was of our patron, eternally bound and languishing in starvation. In the dream I was bringing Him one of our pizzas and by that His hunger was sated." >"My word. How did I not see it before? It's genius! We deliver the pizza to the customer! Instead of making them come to us! By the month's end we shall slaughter a thousand goats in thanks for this forbidden knowledge He has bestowed upon us!"
>>52430970>muffled otherwordly screaming
>>52430357How sinister! >"My lord, I have been burdened with wisdom, great and terrible in equal measures.">"Speak, that we may know His truths.">"A pizza, topped with pig butchered in the style of the frozen north.">"Yes, good. Meat toppings are quite popular, and this will be no exception.">"It's what the meat is paired with. I dare not speak it lest my tongue desecrate my soul.">"A small price to pay for True Flavor. Hold your secret no longer - reveal the second topping or die where you stand.">"The citrus from a tropical island. We must serve the pigflesh with slices of pineapple."
>>52428368Not that poster, but after looking around on Google, the series in question appears to be Kanata Kara. It's an old isekai shoujo manga from 1993, fits the description given.
>>52416180The end of Kubo and the Two Strings was pretty good
One of the better threads on /tg/ right now, to be honest.
>An ancient evil has awakened>The party has to reseal/defeat it before it has done it's morning excercises, gotten its coffee and have had a proper breakfast.
>>52436139>an ancient evil awakens>just in time for that long overdue milk delivery>"gotta get that calcium" clink ping
>>52436195>an ancient evil awakens...>doctor: the operation was a success, we have cured your brittle bone disease >ancient evil: great>doctor: now about that insurance.. First of all, your insurance package, which ended about 500 years ago, only covers your phylactery in case of sudden paladin syndrome>ancient evil: oh...>doctor: also you are an undead skeleton, and only living things can technically be insured against life threatening disease >ancient evil: ...fucking obamacare
>>52436353>an ancient evil awakens>due to interest, the money he had in the bank is now worth more than the kingdom he was originally going to destroy>he withdraws it, destroying the economy of two neighbouring kingdoms, and then buys a nice chunk of country and retires happy
>>52436386>an ancient evil awakens>ancient evil: fuck what time of day is it..?>an ancient evil checks his sundial>an ancient evil chuckles sensibly>ancient evil: hah, i live underground
>>52436412>ancient evil: fuck me its still dark ?>an ancient evil goes back to sleep
>>52436425>ancient evil goes to sleep when serpent devours the sun>doesn't understand build up of land over time>is completely underground and still thinks sun is devoured
>The ancient evil has become a NEET who is depressed over the heroes refusal to die and has therapy sessions with itself
>The ancient good cloned itself thousands of times over and became a shell of its former self in order to defeat a demonic invasion but failed
>>52431465And the neophyte was promptly convicted of heresy, a spike was passed through his anus and out his mouth, he was placed over a roaring fire, and his roasting flesh devoured by zonbie pigs for his unspeakable crime. Suffer not the Hawaiianfag to live, for he stands for the utter corruption of all you treasure.
>>52428541Right in the feels.
>an ancient evil awakens>it's not a bird
>>52416370Now I want to run a game where the ancient evil literally cannot be targeted because it does not have a grid presence, and in order to defeat it they must bring back an ancient good.
>>52415087>Ancient Evil is revived back into the world>It wasn't actually dead, just playing house while pretending to be a little girl in another dimension and isn't happy about having to deal with this bullshit again.
>>52428541>>Long ago, a being of great evil stalked the land>>unable to be slain, was sealed away by an order of paladins>>sealing requires the constant presence of a paladin to hold vigil their bound form>>occasionally the evil stirs and requires re-binding>>the great evil was an actually nice person who got screwed over by 'destiny' >>old paladins perform the vigil by keeping the evil's sleep comfy to prevent their uncontrollable powers from acting up.
>>52415087>ancient evils have awoken>defeated long ago by the church's founder>a crusade has been called to save the world from destruction>the stories told are lies>the founder was a asshole>the ancient evils are the PCs
>>52437008>Meme magic is real>By making it enough of a meme an ancient evil really did exist in the past
>>52437044>the ancient evil was retroactively introduced into the history via especially spicy memes
>>52436616>Ancient good actually kicks so much ass that the invaders try to imitate him
>>52437341>Ancient good just drives around letting his fucking theme song ruin dramatic in game moents
>>52417818>A session or two later>Players find Ancient Evil drinking in a bar>Ancient Evil is drunk off his ass and crying about something; they can't tell what it is because AE is so drunk>Party does their business, then AE recognizes them>AE stalks towards them, drunk as fuck. Pally draws his sword>AE falls over onto the Pally, sobbing and hugging him>All they can make out is "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.">"Let me come with you... please?"What do, /tg/?
>>52437386A D V E N T U R E
>>52437064>PCs meme the ancient evil to death
>>52415087>After being awakened, the ancient evil demands something that hasn't existed for centuries, then kinda wanders off while rambling on about the time he caught the ferry to Shelbyville. He needed a new heel for his shoe. So he decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So he tied an onion to his belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a copper, and in those days, coppers had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a bronze drahkma," you'd say. Now where were we... oh yeah. The important thing was that he had an onion on his belt, which was the style at the time. He didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones... .
>An ancient evil awakens>It's long, horrifying lonely imprisonment has driven it desperate to never get sealed away again>To this end, it's decided to turn over a new leaf and try REALLY REALLY hard to make up for it's past>Now the ancient evil goes around, fighting other evils, while being really awkward and nervously trying not to get in trouble again
>>52436632It's good though Unspeakably so, in fact
>The church reveals that a prophesied ancient evil is soon to awaken, and the party must meet it to try and keep it contained>When the party arrives, it's discovered it wasn't an ancient evil at all>It was a legendary hero who had been put to sleep by his allies to combat a great and terrifying darkness in the far future. The instructions left were mistranslated
>>52415474Only one man can save us.
>>52417818>"Foolish heroes, behold my almighty army of the dead!">Raises about fifty skeletons>"Look and be terrified by my mastery of the forces of life and death!">Party makes short work of the skeletons>Ancient Evil is taken aback to an almost comedic degree, since raising skeletons was a pretty big deal back before he was sealed away
>>52427177I just started the trial of that. It seems alright, but I'm still in Kingsmouth.
>>52427051Good Lord, anon, give your dick a rest
>>52439293>StillKingsmouth is filled to the brim with lore, details and cool shit, enjoy it while you're there. Afterwards, you're going to Egypt..which is...ehhh..but stick with it, Transylvania is fucking acesHow many investigation quests have you finished without looking up anything?
>>524395531, which I assumed was bugged until I realized it wasn't, it just kept spawning enemies (it's where the skater guy wants to to shut down a monster attractor). I'm doing a shotgun/sword build because I figure I'd use something like that in this world if it was really me.
>>52439572Don't worry, I only finished like one investigation quest without help.Also I did an axe/rifle build myself, cause bashing in horroifying monsters with axes and hammers is fuckin' cool.
>>52439008I knew what was under that spoiler before I even opened it.
>>52416065"your suffering was necessary, every thing youve been through has been in some way a test. I have guided you all, shaped you into the men and women you are so you may be strong enough to face me. Ancient enchantments,powerful and unbreakable, protect my life. Iam evil and iam tired, that sceptre there can nullify my layers of protection and in a way work around them. I cannot touch it, but you can, use it to put me to sleep forever. You have done well, my children, continue to do well, walk the path i did not choose. Make me proud."No spectacular final fight to save the world, just a sad man who wants to sleep.
>>52439590As it stands I don't know if I'll pay for it. It seems alright but I'm told the battle system has been revamped to be much better and quite frankly, I still prefer to play WoW for combat.
>>52439623Understandable, but honestly Secret World isn't about combat. It's about the atmosphere and the in depth universe. No other MMO has had such detail before, in my opinion, to the point that the manholes throughout Innsmouth are unique pieces of environment because they are crucial parts of a major quest. The investigation quests are basically National Treasure in MMO form, and it's fucking crazy and super fun. Also the universe is filled with so much cool shit, like a burnt out hotel that has a door to Hell in it, and is surrounded by demons, and this is in the starting area of the fucking game.
>The ancient evil awakes and unleashes the first of its many plagues upon the land.>Nothing happens.>Modern science has led to the widespread use of Vaccines, rendering most plagues harmless.>Ancient Evil broods for a while, then forms a fanatical cult of Anti-Vaxxers to try to get people to stop making themselves immune to his plagues.
>>52439690Yeah but they expect you to go through the combat to get to it.
>>52439293>>52439623>>52439744Don't pay for it. Funcom announced just today that they're wiping character data and relaunching after they retool the combat and progression systems, so now is quite possibly the best time to be a trial player with no real stake in the game.
>>52439790>>52439744Also, upon re-launch it'll be F2P, so no use paying for it now.
>>52439790Wait, they didn't retool the combat yet still?
>>52439844They've done a bunch of balance changes to make the early-game more accommodating to players, with less risk of getting steamrolled by dozens of Ak'ab the second you poke your head into SC.They also made the tutorial suck less and explain how the combat system works.What they're trying to do is rework the entire combat system from the bottom up to make it more fun to play in general.
>>52439790>Everyone starting with a clean slateI already have the gameMaybe this is a good chance to get back into it...
>>52439891>What they're trying to do is rework the entire combat system from the bottom up to make it more fun to play in general.I could certainly use that because as it stands the shotgun just doesn't feel fun. I mean how do you fuck up a shotgun?
>>52439815>it'll be F2PFinally, that one friend that shills this crap can shut up now after I try it.
>>52415087>A game where you play as the awakened ancient evil/ancient good, trying to regain their former strength
>>52440062What irritates me is that Ammy never actually regains her former strength.Shiranui from that flashback is leagues ahead of the craziest shit you can do, even in the finale when you're summoning people out of nowhere to fuck up the retarded fish thing.
>>52415087>after being awakened, the ancient evil complains that my cooking stinks because she doesn't like spinach>proceeds to microwave honeybuns and butter, saying its healthy because non trans fats and dairy.Grandma pls.
>>52415087>after being awakened, the ancient evil complains on /tg/ about stupid heroes waking it up and then proceeds to browse /d/ in incognito mode
>>52417818>ancient evil takes a look at the state of the world>doesn't like how villains are working nowadays>forcefully joins the party of heroes to fight modern villains because one of them talked shit to him and told him he was old fashioned, that his style would never work nowadays>gets powerful alongside hero party>when all is said and done he is reluctant to fight the party and instead decides to settle somewhere in a tropical paradise resort with all the money and treasures he's earned over the years>spends his years giving advice to aspiring villains, gambling, and occasionally showing up in cities to put on theatrical fights with the heroes just so he can feel young again
>>52428541>You will never stumble across a sleeping dragon when you fall victim to a trapdoor chute trap>You will never have to explain your presence to her when she wakes up>You will never be forced to take off your armor and clothes and lay down with her on a pile of gold>You will never rub up against her soft scaly underbelly while she cuddles with you>You will never be told to rub her belly>You will never play with her tail after she falls asleep>You will never gently pull her snout and head up to your chest and use her as a body pillow>You will never wake up when light dazzles across her scales, only to see she's looking right at you, still where you left her>You will never be asked if you'd want to lay with her for a few centuries, preserving your body with magic and letting your consciousness merge with hers into an amazing dreamscapeWhat are some good ways to end my life, /tg/ ?
>>52428368Reading the descriptions of it that sounds like a couple of shoujos that I remember. One was called Vampire Game, about a princess who has a cat that is actually the ancient evil Vampire King that recently reincarnated himself to regain power and I didn't read the whole thing but you didn't have to to know where that was going...The other one was called The Demon Ororon. It's about the devil falling in love with hiki girl with dead parents.
>>52420599Fuck off, solas.
>>52440062A Buddy of mine is running a Dungeons the Dragoning game and that's what I'm playing. An ancient vampire king who has returned to the world after "dying".
>The ancient Evil awakens, and begins his plan to slaughter the nations of the world.>Ancient evil looks around, and realizes that 'nation' no longer means 'five or six families of 10 huddled in mud huts'>Ancient Evil literally doesn't have the time or energy to slaughter the 500 million elves wandering the forests, or the billions of humans and goblins constantly breeding.>Ancient evil sits down and has a long think about his life and priorities.
>>52427051>40 to 60 minutes to fap>Because I fap twice a day every day.I doubt that it is the reason. I don't do it even nearly that often but still need an hour.
>Ancient Evil is a time-looped Future Evil who is just sleeping through all the boring parts of history
>>52427023>ancient evil's daughter was a blessed immortal child that should bring peace and prosperity to all living>she was taken by an evil cult that is today's church and is still used to drain celestial powers for their rituals>will you help the ancient evil and fight the holy church to set a poor child free from a lifetime of agony?
>>52440456Stealing this for my lighthearted noblebright campaign
>>52426380No weapon crafted by men can kill him!So she uses a rocket launcher invented by modern swedes.
>>52423424Someone call the black company.
>>52415087>Ancient Evil and Ancient Good agreed to be sealed if the other was too>Turns out, AE had planned for it and had secret retainers everywhere>They subvert or conquer the lands over time until only a small rebel group is left>AE has to stop the group from unsealing him or the AG will fuck up his empire
>>52415087>Ancient Evil awakened>Because this is an anime, they have lost all their powers, and must go on a happy fun time quest with a somewhat irregular serious side that will allow them to bond with friends and realize that they don't want to be evil anymore.
> the ancient evil awakens> as an alter-ego of the protagonist, tempting him to do evil things> gives him genuinely good advice on how to achieve power, wealth and fame, acting as a legitimate mentor> doesn't actually try to take control of the protagonist, treating him as a pet project> protagonist becomest the greatest man to walk the earth since the ancient evil awakened last time> plot twost: the ancient evil actually was also a simple man just like the protagonist, and was mentored in the same way by the previous ancient evil, who was also in turn a simple man mentored by the previous-previous ancient evil, who was also in turn...> this cycle has continued since times immemorial, and is responsible for creating all of great men who go down in history
Similar to whats been said before, but I'll put it out anyways>An ancient evil awakens>His acolytes have grown so much better at being evil, that AE's attempts looks laughable and pathetic
>>52444392>But they are still deathly loyal to him and respect him with every fiber of their being
>an ancient evil is already awake>it has infiltrated and taken charge of all evil in the land - criminal organizations, slaver rings, bandit gangs, et cetera>outcompetes and eliminates any villain group that doesn't accept its leadership, securing evil monopoly>starts "recruiting" new villains, but demands 3000 years experience for "entry level" positions>mortal villainy unemployment rate skyrockets>ancient evil claims they are lazy and should just work hard like it did when it was starting
>>52416673No, I don't want to lose my wizard powers.
>>52416673I'm pretty sure /qst/ is already dead and going on a quest will only make it stronger.
>>52443437"No weapon forged by the hands of men can slay me!">Ancient evil is stabbed with 3D-printed carbon-fibre blade "OW HELLS DAMMIT WHAT IS THAT THING!?"
>>52444392>>52445111>it's the "incompetent boss with hypercompetent employees" episode on Ancient Evil Cult
>turns out the ancient evil is actually good in present day standards.
>>52416041>Ancient evil's seal is being undone>hero is called to re-seal it>hero becomes a horrible evil tyrant>people decide to unseal the ancient evil to defeat the hero hero tames the ancient evil and makes it to his mount
>Ancient Evil awakens>Breaches surface from his underworld tomb>Dies to bacterial infection
>ancient evil awakens>is actually the hero of that world>turns out the god was the ancient evil>hero looks around and thinks things are ok and then retires
>>52416673I'd probably join him
>>52416041>ancient evil wakes up in a cyberpunk magitech world>tries to cause havoc but is arrested >gets lobotomized>now is the mascot of overlord inc.
>ancient evil awakens>is actually the god of this world>instead of 1000 years of darkness it's 1000 years of light>1000 years pass and god is about ready to sleep again>people try to keep it awake>destroys the order and kills the god in the process bringing the world into eternal grimdarkness
>>52423684succubiall the succubi
>>52424460reminds me of this series
>ancient evil awakens >world already became grimdark so there's no significant change>due to his lesser evil status its actions actually improve the world and the humans start believing it is the hero that sealed it in the first place much to its dismay
>ancient evil can't wake up
>ancient evil is awaken but you can't find it>later you start going against the practices of a corrupt merchant>he runs a regular business and is running for a high position in another country but he also dabbles in the black market and organized crime>you start foiling his plans and breaking down his operations one by one>finally you get to confront the fat greedy merchant>reveals he was the ancient evil all along
>>52445269>Even ancient evil's unpaid internships require 100 years of prior field related experience
>>52447743>Ancient Evil is said to be the bane of the Church of Light.>Sworn to destroy all that the Church stands for>Will even drag the Lord of Light from the heavens and slay him.>AE awakens >AE just kinda vanishes. Nobody sees him for years.>Order of Lightbringer paladins finally track him down in a distant desert where he makes his lair amongst the ruins of an ancient village, now nearly eroded away.>AE greets them as guests.>AE only had a beef with Lord of Light because in AE's day, Lightbringers followed LoL's commandments to rape, murder, pillage, and enslave.>AE was just a local medicine man whose family was taken from him.>AE clawed his way to dark godhood solely to stop LoL's followers from harming others.>Modern Lightbringers are better people, and shitty members of their religion, so they ignore all the horrible stuff in the first half of their holy scriptures.>AE has no beef with modern Lightbringers and is even willing to forgive LoL, pending a full apology and restitution.
>ancient evil awakens >all he does is challenge warriors to battle>turns out that the ancient evil was sealed at a time where everything was peaceful and non-violent>AE views modern times as his paradise
>>52437386We're gonna make this Ancient Evil the most Ancientest and Evilest Ancient Evil to ever exist, so that we can have a proper climactic showdown.
>>52427051You gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers
>>52448048You need to [wake him up inside]. Are the party good enough spelunkers?
>scientist decides to go back in time to take over the past with present tech>gets himself sealed >years pass and he gets unsealed>wakes up in his time>colleagues are laughing at him saying that he was known by the people of the past as an ancient evil
>>52445269>and that's how I, Steve, the oldest lich in the land got to do the coffee. It's pretty selective.>Nosfy ? oh, he's cleaning the tables as we speak
>>52442621I'm not gonna lie, I don't think the ancient evil needs our help.
>>52415087>the forces of evil are actually the snores and farts of the ancient sleeping evil
>>52416041That is exactly how Buffy the Vampire Slayer defeated a demon that Angelus had raised once.>Demon: "You foolish girl. No weapon made by man can harm me.">Buffy: "Maybe, in your time. Humans have come a long way since then."[Unveils a rocket launcher>Demon: "What's that?"[Rocket is fired at the demon, blows him to pieces].
>Grimdark world>Ancient Good is slumbering>Heroes learn of this supressed secret, go off to awaken it>Interesting reversal of plotlinesAlso>Once AG is awakened, forces of evil still try to seal/kill it>Heroes now have to defend the being they worked so hard to freeBecause who ever ended the story with "And then the ancient evil awoke"
>An ancient evil awakens.>"aaaAAAAAAH, OY!">"TEN THOUSAND YEARS, will give you such a crick in the neck."
>>52447743>Ancient Devil awaken in the IIIrd millenia>Devil was sealed, because he was bound on blood-cultism and beefed with the church of light>No one follow the church of light anymore>No one to worship the Devil anymore>Ancient Devil begins career as a trap-demon-fetish prostitute
>>52426192I don't remember that quest
>>52416041>Ancient evil awakens>is given conscription orders>becomes national hero
>>52450643>Humanity has always had trouble dealing with its demons. Seeking atonement, self analysis, freedom in religion/philosophy etc.>But apparently filling them with bullets is pretty effective.
>Ancient evil awakens >is actually the high priest for a greater evil>he awakens that evil>is actually a mere servant for a greater evil>he awakens that evil >is actually a general for a greater evil
>>52451807>Earthquakes and windstorms plague the world>It was actually just the Ancient Evil doing morning stretches.
>Grimdark world were nothing is going right>what's worse is that ancient evil is now awaking>ends up fixing the world
>>52430308We are made men by the stuffed crust. Undone, by the stuffed crust. Fear the stuffed crusts. By the gods Digiorno, fear it. Our taste buds have yet to relish.
>ancient evil awakens >"w-wait why am I awake? oh god it's happening isn't it?"
>ancient evil awakens>pissed that people from across the sea took over the kingdom that imprisoned him>forms nationalist movement
>Ancient evil awakens>Ancient evil realises they slept in>"NO WAIT! I'm not decent! J-just give me a few minutes to do my hair!">Ancient evil sleeps in full body pajama's with rabbits on them>Ancient evil starts crying if you see it before it was ready because you ruined it's big entrance>Can you coax the ancient evil out of its room so the heroes can fulfill the prophecy and be heroes?
>Ancient evil awakens>It is ancient, but not actually evil just that it is so huge and unintelligent that nearly all life is beneath it's notice.>It was just hibernating, and causes wanton destruction just by moving.
>You. Little. Pussy.>That's what my dad used to tell me whenever I'd get into a fight and get beat up as a kid.>"You little pussy, are you gonna just lie down there?">I understood what he meant, but his manner of reasoning was flawed>He wanted me to be tough so I could be just as rough around the edges as he was>Me though? I fought because I had to, because of a greater need. I fought for what i believed in.>I'm never going to call you anything other than your name, no matter what you choose to do though, son.>So, are you going to just lay down and take your beating and die?>Or are you going to get up, wipe the blood off your face and go spill theirs?>The Ancient Evil healing surges>The Ancient Evil awakens.
>>52415087>the ancient evils were actually magically enhanced scared little girls>but the project that made them was so top secret that nobody knew
>>52415087>Call of Cthulhu's finale
>>52453333I love you for this
>>52453507RE 7 already exists anon
>>52451807> "After then thousand years I'm fre- Ow owowow damnit pins and needles."> "Maybe I shouldn't have suddenly stood up on legs that have been asleep for ten thousand years, argh this hurts."
>>52452374>the last great evil is just the intern for the first guyTurns out the forces of evil have a communication problem and they all think eachother is the ultimate evil
>>52427172>>52427049>>52427228FREEZE, VEGAN POLICE!
>>52453333DON'T STOP ME NOW!
>>52437044>>52437064H Y P E R C R I S I S
>>52427462>>52428168Mob Psycho 100 is sort of like this
>>52448140>ends up becoming a legendary hero that generations after looks up to due to his battle prowess
>Ancient evil awakens >finds that humanity is long extinct and the world is ruled by humanoids that looks like AE>they call the Ancient evil their great ancestor
>>52459190>the PC has an amazing ass
>>52454687TEN THOUSAND YEEEEEEAAAARRRRSSS......will give you SUCH a crick in the neck!
>>52423424Literally the Dark One from Wheel of Time.
>the ancient evil awakens>it is DTF
>>52416041>ancient evil, terrifying in his day, wakes up in a modern world of Ghostbusters, XCOMs and wall-to-wall superheroes >hopelessly outclassed >regularly gets beat down by superheroes-in-training and even local police>supervillain groups won't return his calls >everyone he knew from that time before, foes and friends, lovers and relatives, are long dead>even the chronicles of his reign have been reduced to fragmentary legends>but he won't give up >he'll NEVER give up - this world will be HIS once again>so he begins a quest to remake himself, to gain the knowledge and skills needed to subjugate the earth and once again become its master
>an ancient evil awakens>is atrophied by its long slumber, not a threat at all>the many adventurers in the king's employ continue their usual business>a party of teenagers with attitude is sent to deal with it instead
>an ancient evil awakens>a brave party enters its tomb to slay it>get fined for desecrating a cultural landmark
>>52452374Is this a template on how to make a long running shonen manga?
>>52452374I think this was the plot of Shin Mazinger, it just wasn't revealed until the very end.
Ancient Evil awakens.Turns out the Ancient Evil is actually a spirit that fought the real Ancient Evil a thousand years ago and lost. The real Ancient Evil has been impersonating human rulers in a neighboring kingdom, ruling in disguise and sowing chaos and manipulating events for several apparent generations.
>the ancient evil awakens>it actually died over a decade ago when the previous group of heroes defeated it>the true evil is man's envy
>>52461239More or less
>>52461347For all the shit DBZ gets at least the villains sort of make senseVegeta works for Frieza, Cell was a science experiment, Majin Buu was sealed awayThere was no real connection between them except for Vegeta and Frieza
>>52461403Even then they retconned in connections, like how in the Frieza movie he says "My father told me there are 2 beings in this universe I should never try to fight: Beerus the God of Destruction, and Majin Buu"
>>52461421Ok, I can understand him knowing about a god, it's perfectly fineBut not about Majin BuuWhat the fuck?
>>52452482I laughed too hard at this
>>52415087Why would this be a bad thing?
>>52440693>HeliumTakes some preparation, and can be as bad as suffocation if done wrong, but when done right is one of the most peaceful and easy methods of suicide.>Bullet to the headQuick, and has a decent chance of success, however if you mess up you could cripple yourself very badly for life, not to mention you would always be marked as suicidal.>Doing dangerous volunteer workHonestly probably the slowest and most potentially painful way to commit sudoku, but you could help lot's of people by doing all of the dangerous deadly things, since you want to die anyway.
>>52427051Shit Anon, I've never been able to fap quickly, and sex can take even longer. My Ex asked me if I was impotent because we fucked for more than 40 minutes without my climax.
>the ancient evil awakens, decides it's trans, and uses all it's magic to turn into a girl
>>52440535The supermarket I work at sells activated almonds. I don't even.
>>52464110Volunteer work it is. I start at the soup kitchen tonight.I live in detroit.
>an anchuent evil awakens
>>52464110Crippling alcoholism works too. Sloppy way to go but man if it iant a rollercoaster ride.t. drunkoholic
>>52440535I have run out of evens to be able to.Looks like I'm odd now; I can't even.
>>52426002>>52426002Ancient Evil is constantly telepathically calling it's cultists asking how to do the google and tagging them in shitty chain emails
>>52426380I was about to post this. It's a wonder Buffy doesn't get as much recognition as I always felt it deserves IMO. At least the earlier seasons anyway, before you got sick of all the teen angst episodes.Also pic related is prob one of my favorite /tv/-related characters ever
>>52461347>That last paragraphMy sides are in orbit.
>>52444392>an ancient evil awakens>his acolytes are so cruel and evil he looks almost tame by comparison>almost>he destroys them before the PCs' eyes to make clear that despite being much more honorable, he still is, in fact, ancient and powerful>proceeds to show why people had a good fucking reason to seal him in a swashbuckling, yet chivalrous climatic battle
>>52415570>be ancient evil, reside in the Cthulhu dimension with many other unspeakable horrors>one day weird monkeys have appeared on your homeworld>these monkey-like creatures live in caves, they hunt and gather and use tools like other monkeys>but what makes them fascinating to you is that they do not merely use their abilities to survive>they know instinctively that life has no meaning, and yet they try to find it>they know themselves in their suffering, and yet they do not abandon their desire to live>you wonder to yourself what great things they might achieve through their struggle against chaos and certainty>you have existed for an eternity, but in this moment you feel something you have never felt before>whether it should be called pride or hope or compassion you could not say, and of course you know that this is just an illusion>but still, perhaps there are times when even illusions are worth holding onto>you go to sleep, and dream of meaning in a meaningless world, and you feel the passing of many hundreds of thousands of moons>When you awaken you look around in astonishment>the monkeys have developed technology that has eliminated death and suffering>more than that, they have even managed to make themselves forget the sadness and cruelty of the past, and entrusted everything to an all-powerful thinking machine>they have created their own utopia>but you know>you know that they are just escaping, escaping from the true nature of a world that is objectively cruel and unforgiving>you are filled with a blind rage, and more than that, a dread deeper than anything you have ever felt before>you think to yourself "This is wrong! I'm sure you have already achieved so much more than this. You must have! How could you throw it all away for piece of mind?">yes. This is wrong.>you have come to a resolution>and then you wait
>>52472587>a female, wandering aimlessly around the utopia humanity has created for itself, passes by the tree at the center of the huge plantation you have found yourself in>you call out to her>"Hey you, what's your name">"Oh hello! >"I'm Eva. ... What are you?">"Someone who knows the truth. Do you want me to tell you?"
>>52415087>attempt to awaken the ancient evil>it's been dead for years