>>50847592

I am a forever DM, and have no stories of the kind you seek, but, I'm sure my players will get a kick out of the Grog of Substantial Whimsy. Thanks mate.

>>50847803
Just remember it was almost designed to be a game derailer

>>50848034

Beer and pretzels abound in my games, I'm sure we'll be fine.

Rolled 814 (1d1000)

>>50847592
Imagine if a chauvanistic bard rolled a 214
>PC is allergic to the opposite gender.

>>50848613
>PC can summon small versions of themselves that sit on their shoulders and argue with each other or other people.
Guess my angle and devil aren't so helpful

Rolled 431 (1d1000)

Rollin

>>50848670
>Whenever the PC falls they will always land on their face. (This includes jumping)
:(

Rolled 440 (1d1000)

I love this

Rolled 440 (1d1000)

>>50848753
I am so glad I started this cause I am dying!

>>50848753
>>50848777
Oh
>PC's body becomes an octopus. (no stat change, does not require water)

Literally one in a million

>>50848788
OCTO DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Rolled 95 (1d1000)

Rolled 216 (1d1000)

>>50848920
>Deludes PC into believing the grog functions as indicated by a second die roll (no save).
Deeper into the rabbit hole I go!

>>50848920
>>50848931
>PC's skin is burned by moonlight. 1d4 dmg/round
I'm Selenophobic now?

Rolled 388 (1d1000)

>>50849098
>PC's skin gains full body leopard print tattoos.
Tight.

Rolled 569 (1d1000)

Rollin for the Lollin'

>>50849186
>PC becomes feral when their food is at stake.

...I see no difference here.

Rolled 3 (1d1000)

Bring home the money...

>>50849213
>PC can Wish the death of one being, but will also die.
I choose, DEATH!!!

i wanna try this!

dice+1d1000

Rolled 202 (1d1000)

wow im an idiot

Rolled 445 (1d1000)

Let's see how fucked I get.

>>50849361
>PC is lectured by angelic figures in decency every night in their sleep.
No dreams, only morality.

>>50849353
>PC grows an afro that can be used as a backpack.
>>50849361
>PC is lectured by angelic figures in decency every night in their sleep.
Best thread i've ever made

Rolled 653 (1d1000)

Fuck me up good!

>>50849390
>PC is constantly mistaken for an extremely evil demon.
Be careful what you wish for

This is a good thread derailment

Rolled 937 (1d1000)

ok fine i'll roll

Rolled 143 (1d1000)

rolling

>>50849415
To be fair I was OP and I was the first to do it

>>50849419
> PC learns every recipe there is to cooking and serving the slain bodies of their enemies.
what
anyone hungry?

>>50849420
Whenever the PC is alone, they painfully transform into an strange bird-like thing. The PC instantaneously reverts to normal if another person or creature goes near them or sees them.
O-Oh. How painful are we talking here?

>>50849439
What if someone is looking at them with a spyglass and rapidly blinks?

>>50849426
This guy is.
>>50849201

Rolled 373 (1d1000)

Been a bit since I rolled, let's see if I can remember

>>50849473
>PC's teeth become precious gems, and cannot be removed while the PC is alive.

swag

>>50849453
and thus, a beautiful partnership was started.

>>50849473
>PC's teeth become precious gems, and cannot be removed while the PC is alive.
Add some gold and you become a rapper

Rolled 711, 581, 904, 313, 513 = 3022 (5d1000)

I'm chugging the damn thing.

Rolled 385, 965, 851, 887, 772, 376, 356, 124, 190, 872 = 5778 (10d1000)

>>50849525
Amateur

dice+1d1000

Is my body ready?

>>50849525
>PC's shadow smokes as if it's on fire. (Not good to stay in enclosed spaces)
>A bright round sphere looking object appears over the PC's head whenever they get an idea, or remember something.
>PC is able to lick an enemy to paralyze them for 1d6 rounds. Fortitude save DC 10 + PC's level negates.
>Any shadow puppet the PC makes becomes a harmless living shadow of whatever it was.
>PC is haunted by the ghost of everything they slay.

I can spawn smoking shadow puppets.

Rolled 220 (1d1000)

They see me rollin

>>50849556
Not only that, every time I come up with a way to use a shadow puppet in a given situation, I'm instantly given a light source to create a puppet with.

Rolled 188, 40, 143, 627, 851 = 1849 (5d1000)

>>50849574
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes an extremely blasphemous tattoo to appear.

Meh Id probably take a few more chugs before I realized what was going on

>>50849535
>Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
>No ship can float while the PC is on board, however, they can be sailed underwater.
>PC gains a wombat for a mount.
Around the PC, the moon appears to be constantly full at night.
>PC's feet attract snakes. 10% chance of being poisonous.
>PC does not have to touch objects to pick them up, but they must be in reach.
>Whenever the PC hears their name, they are briefly struck by inexplicable terror.
>PC agrees with everything, even if it doesn't make sense, or is contradictory. PC’s personal beliefs are unaffected.
>PC becomes very talented at tomfoolery.
>PC becomes a were-statue.
This abomination needs to be obliterated.
>He is always a statue at night and activates all other were-things
>Creates submarines
>Creates snakes at random that will kill people
>Telekinesis
>Is a trickster
>Scared of his own name
>Is a yes man

Rolled 419, 432, 687, 82 = 1620 (4d1000)

You get 4 effects max, tards

>>50849645
Per grog
>Each grog can at max have 4 effects.

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>>50849645
What if the Grog of Whimsy was "Home-Brewed"

>>50849645
>PC realizes they have died centuries ago, and doesn’t know how they’re here now.
>PC's hair becomes a hedgehog familiar. Hair grows back at normal rate.
>PC is able to shove their foot up any butt, regardless if it fits or not. It deals pride damage.
>PC cannot perform any action without announcing their name

I, Cato Sicarus, have received some very useless boons.

>>50849654
>Finding more than one of these things, ever

Epic level wizards don't just shit out reality bending idiocy. There's probably only one bottle of this shit in existence

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>>50849690
You really think senile wizards wouldn't create thousands of barrels of this stuff?
>Brewed from the talents of the finest senile wizards

Rolled 703 (1d1000)

Let's lighten the mood

>>50849751
>PC gains 5 ft of height, but is not considered a size category larger. Stats don't change.
Nice and relatively mundane

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>>50849597
>188, 40, 143, 627,
>Roll 1d12, at that time of day, the PC emits a powerful beam of light that has no effect other than alerting absolutely everything that can see it to your presence at that moment.
>PC’s body becomes an orangutan. (no stat change)
>Whenever the PC is alone, they painfully transform into an strange bird-like thing. The PC instantaneously reverts to normal if another person or creature goes near them or sees them.
>PC's hands can be unscrewed from their wrists.

OOK.

Rolled 274, 696, 897, 320 = 2187 (4d1000)

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Rolled 483, 528, 746, 649, 332, 760, 483, 589, 463, 67 = 5100 (10d1000)

>>50849775
Are the hands functional after being unscrewed?
Because that could be useful for escaping prisons and other things... like science, yes science, definitely science

>>50849815
>Every fruit the PC touches turns to glass.
>PC grows fur on their entire body.
>PC's hands never leave their sleeves. (PC also permanently wears long sleeve shirts.)
>PC's eyebrows grow twice their size and permanently cover the PC's eyes.
>PC and someone who looks exactly like the PC are suddenly aware of each other.
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes a wild surge.
>Every fruit the PC touches turns to glass.
>PC mistakes every woman they meet for the first time as their farming wife Charlotte.
>PC loses all hair on their body.
>PC can cast a random cantrip level spell at will.
Abomination averted?
>Fruit is canceled
>Get a shitton of hair then lose it
>Get a long sleeve shirt
>Get a clone
>Free wild surges
Much better than my last attempt

>>50849808
>PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
>PC can snap their fingers together and produce sparks like flint and steel would.
>PC gains a purple thumb that causes non-magical plants to whither and die.
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes birds to swoop down and groom them. (Like a crocodile)

>>50849860
>>PC's hands never leave their sleeves. (PC also permanently wears long sleeve shirts.)
as a gm I would get rid of the clause a giggle profusely at t-rex pc in their short sleeve shirt

>>50847592
dice+1d1000

>>50849888
put it in options

>>50849888
You suck at /tg/ dice, but I'm going by your trips for the hell of it:
>PC hiccups bubbles. 2d4 bubbles per round for 2d4 rounds when caught flatfooted (or surprised).

Rolled 602 (1d1000)

Come on lady luck

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Rolled 229, 178, 296, 144, 102, 367, 781, 223, 363, 789, 920, 175, 100, 582, 442, 37, 657, 598, 778, 920 = 8681 (20d1000)

FULL THROTTLE TO THE APOCALYPSE!!!!

>>50849906
PC's touch leaves permanent black marks on any type of skin, except for their own. They also become great skin artists.

Tattoo Artist

>>50849906
>PC's touch leaves permanent black marks on any type of skin, except for their own. They also become great skin artists.
great the last thing my PCs need is a reason to touch people

>>50849910
>920
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes all nearby wildlife to double in size.
Would this apply to OPs tree PC?

dice+2d6

>>50849969
put it in the options field

Rolled 767 (1d1000)

>>50849896
>>50849903
Sorry for being such a newfag /tg/ literally my first time rolling, im cross boarding from /his/ and /out/ and the sticky on rolling dice is garbage

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>>50849910
>PC's heart becomes clockwork. It must be wound every 24 hours or else it stops. If it stops, PC's hit points drop to -1, and are restored to full if it's rewound. PC's eyes become removable pearls, retain normal sight.
>PC remembers the night a wizard killed them. It’s a little fuzzy why and how they’re alive now.
>PC's bones can be played like a xylophone.
>PC slowly remembers their time at war each night, and is forthcoming about telling old war stories at the campfire.
>PC's touch brings wilting flowers back to life.
> PC is afflicted with Porphyric Hemophelia. (Vampirism.)
>PC gains a pencil-thin mustache, a thick British accent, and an urge to lift one eyebrow.
>With exception to the eyes and brain, the PC begins to harmlessly decompose. (Is not undead, no longer eats)
> PC can only be healthy via cannibalism. (Maybe even a civil one.)
>PC breathes out harmless lightning clouds. Can shock/distract people.
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes all nearby wildlife to double in size.
>PC can mesmerize non-magical animals they can see by dancing.
> PC suddenly recalls a past life where they were a destitute beggar who died, with no one to miss them.
>The next enemy the PC meets becomes directly related to the PC, 40% chance of being friendly.
>PC knows how wise any creature they encounter is.
>PC's bones turn to wood, and can live off sunlight. When they go up an age group, they go up a size category as well as receiving the penalties of aging.
> PC can hear the thoughts of a random party member.
>PC's head becomes invisible.
>PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes all nearby wildlife to double in size.
>(cont)

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>>50849995
>PC's bones can be played like a xylophone.
>PC's bones turn to wood, and can live off sunlight.

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>>50849995
>Vampire that an only eat flesh and feeds off sunlight while weak to sunlight
>Was in a war, became a beggar, and was killed by a wizard. somehow came back
>Is a robot
>No head
>Rotting, but not undead even though they are a vampire
>Some random dude becomes his uncle
>Has magic and telepathy
>Is British
>Green thumb to flowers but nothing else
>Lightning breath
>Somehow isn't struck down by the gods for being such a monstocity

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>>50849994
>PC goes down one size category. (With no Ability Score change)
Joe Rogan barbarian here I come!

Rolled 237, 977, 561, 311, 616, 959, 671 = 4332 (7d1000)

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Rolled 199, 773, 518, 87, 150, 744, 79, 857, 302, 372, 539, 655, 184, 890, 550, 849, 800, 424, 317, 277, 289, 691, 187, 128, 34 = 10895 (25d1000)

How far down the rabbit whole do we go?

Fucking responding to >>50850050
Fucking deleting the TAAAAB!!!!!

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>>50850049
>PC is awake and alert the instant they wake up, regardless of how many hours they slept. Can also never be hungover.
Pro drinking champion, check
>PC ascends to a higher dimension, learns how to exist in this dimension, and then instantly pops back into the material plane with no memory of the event. (May have made friends, or enemies in their time)
Seems pretty pointless but okay
>PC gains a permanent pair of glasses.
Hmm doesnt say anything about a eyesight disadvantage so maybe they are lensless.. we hipster now
>PC is knocked prone whenever they hear their name.
Permanently use nickname forever now
>PC learns the spell Teach Esperanto, which will automatically teach Esperanto to the subject. Can cast at-will.
Some silly made up language - could me interesting to teach to the rest of the party so you can talk in private in front of people
>PC can make a DC 17 Will Save to grow a fabulous and amazing mustache.
lensless glasses - mustache - only answers to nickname - speaks some ridiclious culturally neutral PC language. yep, millennial hipster-tier competitive drinker.
>PC receives mail from a long distance significant other periodically by Marvin the Mailman. (He's a mailman)
Imagine how badass Marvin must be to deliver my mail when im in a dungeon or some lich's tower

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>>50850050
>PC's brain is bombarded by stupidity. After 1d2 days of recovery, they can tell terrible jokes as a swift action, and causes sentient creatures to make a DC 17 will save or be stuck 1d4/level rounds pondering how dumb it is. Creatures are considered staggered.
>Whatever the PC kills becomes a tombstone.
>PC attracts insects of any size.
> PC's breath becomes combustible.
> PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of killing someone they haven’t met yet.
>PC cannot die in their sleep.
>PC becomes soluble in rainfall. (Drinking liquids is harmless)
>PC can run across water, but if they stop or change direction, they sink.
>PC can increase the length of any hair by pulling on it.
>Whenever the PC enters a building, gravity immediately reverses orientation for them.
>Doors attack the PC if they attempt to walk through them. (Wood: +3 1d6+2 smash attack. Metal: +3 2d6+3 smash attack. Stone: +2 2d8+4 smash attack.)
>PC didn’t actually exist prior to drinking this grog.
>PC does not have a reflection.
>PC is a professionally bad dancer.
>PC's dreams are replaced with visions of being a virtuous ascetic nurse taking loving care of the sick, eventually dying of the sickness themselves.
>The souls of whoever the PC kills linger around them in the form of small heatless balls of purple-ish fire.
>PC suddenly recalls a past life where they were a cat on a boat that had a mysterious cargo.
>The next thing the PC sits on will be able to fly. (poor)
> PC can no longer answer a question truthfully.
>The PC's eyes move together to become one big eye.
>PC can run up walls and other flat surfaces, but if they stop or change direction, they will fall.
>PC knows the Int score of any creature they encounter.
>PC's finger nails dispense magical ink, and can be used to scribe spells with.
>PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
>PC seemingly ‘walks on air’ and is permanently 5 inches above all solid surfaces.
(cont)

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>>50850050
>>50850197
>Tells bad jokes
>Leaves behind tombstones of people and their sould haunt him forever
>Attracts ALL insects
>Fire breath
>Dreams of killing a nurse dying of disease, and he is invincible while doing so
>Can cosplay as Jesus but will die if he stops walking
>Dreads
>Building hate him for discovering this one easy trick!
>He came into being this fucked up
>Mirrors are useless
>Sucks
>Was a cat even though he never existed before now
>can fly by sitting on a rock
>Cursed to lie always
>Cyclops
>Spiderman
>Can see how much smarter everyone else is compared to him
>Can write?
>Can cast spells? (What CHA modifier? -10?)
>Can levitate
This is less the end of the world but something that needs to be put out of its misery

Rolled 400 (1d1000)

Bottoms up lads.

>>50850249
> PC suddenly recalls a past life that was fairly normal until it ended abruptly as a sacrifice to a dark god. (It must not have worked, so the cult might try again.)

Boo. Fun plot hook foreshadowing, but hardly "whimsy."

>>50850197
It's like the cast of a Baron Munchausen story. But all in one person.

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Rolled 928, 377, 412, 704, 495, 519, 867, 552, 231, 693, 203, 683, 37, 200, 487, 309, 981, 258, 566, 1000, 232, 187, 304, 646, 47 = 11918 (25d1000)

>>50850295
Help, I'm dying. But the Dark Gods compell me to continue.

>>50850154
In another thread we might have written entire stories about Marvin. He would've liked that.

Rolled 340 (1d1000)

>>50847592

>>50850331
>PC becomes a Kangaroo
Not being an organic being was an actual advantage in the game. I have all new reasons to be afraid of everything now.

Rolled 83 (1d1000)

>>50847592
SATAN TRIPS GO!

>>50850310
> PC can plane shift once per day, and move 5 spaces before coming back to the material plane. They have a 60% chance of bringing something back with them, and a 20% chance of it being friendly.
>PC can cure any mundane illness they’re afflicted with by taking a bath.
>PC ages 100 years, and has 100 years added on to their natural life span.
>PC believes that all other races other than their own are aliens.
>PC can crack open any kind of nut or seed in their hand.
>PC always appears to be riddled with bullet holes. (Does not bleed from holes)
>PC learns recipe of random meal, gains the ingredients to prepare it, and will not be satisfied until they make the meal in a decent kitchen.
>PC becomes obsessively hygienic.
>PC's hair becomes a very large powdered white wig. PC also gains a gavel.
>PC becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
>PC cannot become non-magically dirty.
> PC's right arm is interchangeable with any other creature's right arm. (PC can remove right arms harmlessly)
>PC's bones turn to wood, and can live off sunlight. When they go up an age group, they go up a size category as well as receiving the penalties of aging.
> PC suddenly recalls all of the circus training they received as a circus elephant in a past life.
> PC can bring anything they've killed back to life. It will become permanently hostile to the PC regardless. (PC cannot gain experience this way)
>PC irrationally hates fungi. (stomps on them when they see them)
> All of the PC's criticals and fumbles are twice as effective as they normally were.
>PC switches eyes with the next creature with eyes they come into contact with. (Eyes will shrink/grow proportionally for all involved)
>PC's feet becomes invincible, but they can still feel pain.
Ran out of space. will cont

>>50850359
>PC doesn't age while asleep, increase lifespan by 1/3
Well then. Might not be an uspeakable horror named Howard but I'll take and extra 30 years.

>>50850310
Going by the rules, you can only get four of those effects. Or maybe that's just four per cup in which cause you just shotgunned about six shots of Grog. 12 if we're including the previous post.

Anon, I'm cutting you off.

>>50850368
>>50850310
>PC teleports 1d20 years into the past, in the same spot. The same amount of years later, they walk into the bar and watch themselves disappear.
>PC's finger nails dispense magical ink, and can be used to scribe spells with.
>PC is only nourished by alcohol. (All other foods make them vomit. Will become drunk as normal.)
>When the PC snaps, it sounds like a church bell. (As loud as a snap)
>PC's face has the same properties as catnip. (A cat allergy may be included at DMs discretion)

Rolled 9 (1d1000)

>>50847592
Rolling

Rolled 222 (1d1000)

I just want an excuse to use the dice roller.

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>>50850373
This ride never ends
>>50850381
>>50850368
>>50850310
>Can teleport, but it summons Satan
>Cleanliness cleans everything
>He gets old but not
>Becomes a xenophobe
>Becomes a nutcracker in time for christmas
>Is shot a bunch
>Geased into cooking
>REALLY wants to take a bath
>when he is never dirty
>Becomes Judge Judy
>Doesn't know magic but loves to cast it
>Is arm-fall-off man (look him up)
>Is like OP
>Reincanation of an elefant
>Becomes a necromancer but a terrible one
>Racist to mushrooms
>Fucks up more than the last guy
>Switches eyes with some guy?
>Immune to caltrops
>Time travels for no reason
>Can write like the last guy
>Cursed to drink more grog
>Sounds like a bell
>Makes cat high
But last and certainly not least
>1000
>PC is divided by zero.
So he never exists in the first place
And now I am free from my curse. Goodnight /tg/

I think the crazy fuck archived this
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/50847592/

Rolled 191 (1d1000)

What happened since I left?

>>50847592
We have a DM who is, other than the bit I'm about to mention, an alright DM.
However, he has never run a campaign that didn't feature a Wand of Wonder in the hands of some foe in the very first adventure.
Always cursed so once you have it, you must keep it and if you don't use it every so often (read: once per game session), it uses it's self at an inopportune moment.
Every damn campaign.
I'm fairly sure it's to amuse whatever randumb floozy one of the other (equally randumb and the DM's housemate) player insists on bringing to the table.

>>50850524
PC is able to summon an extra-dimensional kitchen to prepare any type of fancy food they want.
Can I make a drink so alcoholic I forget I made this thread?

Rolled 934 (1d1000)

>>50847592

>>50850565
Whenever the PC witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
Arguably one of the worst ones

>>50850637
Yeah, perfect that guy materiel. "whoops, looks like I'm evil now better backstab everyone lol"

Rolled 571 (1d1000)

rolling

Rolled 487 (1d1000)

You guys might as well vote on this thread
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/50847592/

>>50849690
Sounds like you are a solar exalted.

Rolled 298 (1d1000)

>>50847592
Let's have a go, then.

>>50849995
>>PC breathes out harmless lightning clouds. Can shock/distract people.
WE GET IT, YOU VAPE.

Rolled 867, 933, 52, 818 = 2670 (4d1000)

Consequences will never be the same.

>>50851169
>>PC learns recipe of random meal, gains the ingredients to prepare it, and will not be satisfied until they make the meal in a decent kitchen.
>>Beneath the PC's skin, they become entirely robotic. They take damage and die normally, and don't feel any different.
>>PC's stomach now functions similarly to a bag of holding.
>>PC's nose bleeds when anything venereal is discussed.

Life is strange, but not unlivable.

>>50851191
Don't! You'll summon him!

>>50847592
>be on diplomatic mission to appease skydwarf lord to not slaughter this world's peaceful orcs and goblins
>dwarf lord agrees and allows us to choose a treasure out of his personal vault as a sign of peace between the nations
>everything seems to be going as planned
>vault has a chained cerberus to guard it

>fucking DRUID bitch decides the cerberus needs to be freed like all wild animals and frees it
>cerberus starts wrecking everyone's shit
>dwarf king gets fucking pissed and high tails it out of there, leaving us locked with the cerberus

>kill cerberus, druid girl goes nuclear and cries about us killing it
>diplomatic mission just blew up in smoke
>try to find a way out

>gunslinger sees gas pipes where the cerberus hit the ceiling that lead towards the door
>prepares to fire
>we prepare to roll dexterity to stop him
>he rolls a 20 on hitting the pipes
>entire castle blows up above us
>we destroy the castle, dwarf king is super pissed
>escape

The ensuing war encapsulated the whole campaign until the dwarf lord's death.

>>50851205
I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about.

>>50851219
The guy who rolled 30d1000

Rolled 203, 242, 109, 458, 824, 977, 490, 130, 486, 580, 718, 757, 984, 289, 748, 94, 662, 42, 247, 220, 645, 119, 740, 730, 383 = 11877 (25d1000)

COWER, MORTALS!

Rolled 226, 757, 417, 476, 8, 975, 701, 389, 898, 151, 314, 820, 798, 68, 791, 502, 674, 367, 834, 677, 196, 725, 60, 9, 654 = 12487 (25d1000)

>>50851248
At least commit. I'll pick up the mantle, lest someone else need to

>>50851248
>>PC cannot become non-magically dirty.
>>PC constantly sounds like a grandma, using the terms "pooky" and "schnookums" regardless of the situation. PC pinches cheeks too.
>>PC can explode at will, reducing HP to 0. Explosion deals 1 point of damage per hit point in a 20 ft. area. Each time reduces max HP by 2 and disintegrates any non magical possessions including armour and weapons.
>>PC can summon pillows at will, and they are extra fluffy. PC can summon at max one pillow per person in their party.
>>Once per day, the PC becomes encased in stone. DC 13 Strength to break out.
>>PC ascends to a higher dimension, learns how to exist in this dimension, and then instantly pops back into the material plane with no memory of the event. (May have made friends, or enemies in their time)
>>PC is a champion pillow fighter. (but only with pillows)
>>Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the affect.
>>PC will win every coin flip they do.
>>PC grows a ponytail of feathers all the colour of the rainbow. It makes for wonderful plumage.
>>PC's skin becomes translucent, and observers are able to see tiny fish swimming around inside of the PC.
>>PC's footsteps sound as though they were 3 size categories larger.
To be continued...

>>50851328
I apologise. Back to my work

>>50851248
>>50851328
>>PC can swallow ores and defecate the refined material.
>>PC can run up walls and other flat surfaces, but if they stop or change direction, they will fall.
>>With a DC 15 search check, the PC can find random dinosaur plushies hidden in the environment. They're worthless, but they have strange sentimental value.
>>PC cannot enter a building without being invited.
>>An owlbear appears, runs toward the PC and hugs them for 1d4 rounds before disappearing. It automatically succeeds on its touch attack and all grapple checks. It attacks anyone who tries to harm the PC it is hugging. This happens at the same time everyday. Even if the bear is in combat, it will still disappear after 1d4 rounds.
>>PC realizes the meaning of life, but is unable to tell anyone else. They are also hunted by cults (and maybe gods) who want to know.
>>PC becomes a were-saxophone player.
>>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes an extremely blasphemous tattoo to appear.
>>PC now worships an Egyptian god.
>>Doors that the PC opens sigh.
>>PC’s body turns into a medium-sized praying mantis. (no stat change)
>>Roll again, the next living thing the PC touches also receives the effect.
>>A random party member becomes infatuated with the PC.

File: f0cus_img1.gif (357 KB, 500x375)

357 KB GIF

Rolled 722, 356 = 1078 (2d1000)

Alright

Rolled 578 (1d1000)

Rolling

>>50851352
>All fire that burns within 30 ft. of the PC turns the colour of their choice.
Cool! Time to learn to juggle flaming torches!

>Whenever the PC hears their name, they are briefly struck by inexplicable terror.
Whelp. Time to get a stage name, I guess.

File: spoopy scary.gif (1.73 MB, 320x240)

1.73 MB GIF

>>50851321
>PC’s body parts are replaced with fake ones. (PC has an urge to go find their original body)
>PC's footsteps sound as though they were 3 size categories larger.
>PC's body is covered with fire like an everburning torch. (No harm to PC)
>PC can no longer use outhouses to go to the bathroom.
>PC sees dead people who bother them a lot.
>PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
>PC gives birth to a nest of (DMs choice).
> Random act of kindness! All of the PC's debts are paid, as graciously paid by whoever is sitting next to them
>As long as the PC has throwing knives, they can inexplicably pull them out of any where on their person.
>PC becomes aware of a mundane object of his choice, and will only ever be comfortable with the object being around.
>Whatever the PC says appears in words that float around their head for a little while.
> Any casted magic that affects the PC causes water nearby to become holy/unholy. (Depending on alignment)
>PC attracts whatever they are afraid of.
>PC lays an egg (regardless of gender). (What kind is DMs choice.)
>PC goes down one size category.
>PC glows a shade of gold in the presence of magic, and magical ore.
>PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
>PC is afflicted with Porphyric Hemophelia. (Vampirism.)
>PC sprouts a singing venus fly trap on their shoulder that sings when the PC is happy.
>PC's thumb turns greens, and can cause plants to grow at a rapid rate, but cannot exceed their normal size.
>PC is able to kill stones with birds.
>PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
>The PC becomes either an herbivore or a carnivore. (50% chance of either. Any food of the other kind will induce vomiting)
(Cont)

>>50851321
>>50851390
>The PC, and the PC’s party learns the 5 minute ritual to summon the PC. (Just a pentagram, nothing fancy)
>Wildlife brings the PC food periodically.

File: hell yeah.gif (1.15 MB, 500x281)

1.15 MB GIF

>>50851405
>>50851390
>>50851321
I'll try my best to channel the spirit of Crazy Anon
>He isn't the original him?
>He can't sneak for shit
>He can't sneak for bullshit
>He can't shit
>Not that bad
>Even more effects for this poor bastard
>Nest of demi-liches ;)
>Quite a good turn for our poor hero
>And he can throw stuff easier. His luck is changing!
>Being a comic hero isn't that bad...
>Good for a paladin
>Literally designed to kill this dude
>Alchemical Golem Egg>;)
>He is now a dwarf
>That can see magical ores. Very useful
>Spells are useful
>But he is a vampire
>With a pet plant?
>If the plant dies, it can be brought back!
>?
>Guess he doesn't get that addiction
>50% chance he starves cause he is a vampire
>At least he can't get lost
>Would the bring people?
At least it wasn't as bad as it could have been

Rolled 726 (1d1000)

>>50849390
Awkward.

Never rolled on tg before. Am i doing it rite?

>>50851495
Yea

>>50851495
> PC knows the market value of any humanoid as a slave that they see.

I can live with this.

Rolled 391 (1d1000)

Rolled 168 (1d1000)

noko+dice+1d1000

>>50851524
PC learns recipe of random meal, gains the ingredients to prepare it, and will not be satisfied until they make the meal in a decent kitchen.
2 food related grogs in a row. Is it telling me something?

>>50847592

>>50847592
yo

Rolled 462 (1d1000)

>>50851571
Get rid of the speech marks " "

>PC can move statues as though they were opposable.

How does an opposable statue work?

>>50851714
Probably MEANS poseable.

>>50847592
>https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Grog_of_Substantial_Whimsy_(3.5e_Equipment)

Rolled 489 (1d1000)

>>50851759
Wow I'm fucking stupid

>>50851723
Oh man. That is great. I dont know how i didnt see that as a translation.

Rolled 14 (1d1000)

>>50847592
*gulp*

Rolled 595 (1d1000)

>>50852110
>PC becomes a dragon in a human form with the same stats as they had before, but has forgotten how to polymorph.
So my true form is now that of a dragon, but no other effects?
Cool!
I take another drink.

Rolled 388 (1d1000)

>>50852126
>PC can use arrows without a bow. Instead they throw them. Use the stats of a short bow.
This is great.
Imma gonna drink till I implode.

Rolled 714 (1d1000)

>>50847592
Ere we go

Rolled 403 (1d1000)

>>50852170
>PC bleeds sand
Another drink it is.

Rolled 172 (1d1000)

>>50852180
>can swim up waterfalls
Glups

>>50852192
>gains a birthmark of nobility from a distant or made up country.
Hell of a night, right ?

Rolled 598 (1d1000)

pour me a glass bartender

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>>50848798
Is it one in a million? Or is it one in a thousand?

I suppose two people rolling 440 at the same time is one in a million.

But two people rolling the same number on a 1000 range random number generator is one in a thousand since the first number is sort of irrelevant.

Right?

Rolled 935 (1d1000)

Rolled 913 (1d1000)

>>50852134
>PC's skin gains full body leopard print tattoos.
*slurp*

Rolled 417 (1d1000)

>>50847592
Rollan

>>50852430
Well, just call me Firestarter then!

Rolled 242 (1d1000)

>>50852427
>PC is able to be used as a great club by other characters in the same size category. PC takes half damage minus their armor bonus.
Okay, this is getting odd.
*sip*

Rolled 964 (1d1000)

>>50852438
> PC constantly sounds like a grandma, using the terms "pooky" and "schnookums" regardless of the situation. PC pinches cheeks too.
Leopard print granny Dragon club that throws arrows...
*swig*

Rolled 203 (1d1000)

>>50852458
>Whenever the PC is cold or freezing, they become undead. When they are warmed up again, they come back to life.
Grannies are usually cold all the time...
Are undead resistant to bludgeoning?
That could help with the clubbing.
*swish*

Rolled 571 (1d1000)

>>50852467
>PC cannot become non-magically dirty.
...I'm a broom now?

Rolled 807 (1d1000)

>>50852475
>PC gains antennae on their head.
Yep, broom bristles.
*guzzle*

Rolled 557 (1d1000)

>>50852486
>Whenever the PC makes a fist, they become round spheres of steel. (Dmg 1d6 + Str.)
But also an enchanted club.
*chug*

Rolled 853 (1d1000)

>>50852501
PC becomes chronically pooped on by anything that flies.
Not a broom, a Teflon shitclub.
*lap*

>>50852516
>PC releases extremely manly pheromones, regardless of gender.
Last taste...
*drinks*

Rolled 182 (1d1000)

>>50852524
Forgot to roll.

Rolled 672 (1d1000)

>>50852516
PC releases extremely manly pheromones, regardless of gender.
Hope you're either a man or a dwarf, there,
*glug*

Rolled 495 (1d1000)

Rollin'.

>>50852554
>PC can crack open any kind of nut or seed in their hand.
Hey, I can do that already.

dice+1d1000

>>50852535
>PC hears 1d4 voices in their head from now on.
>PC is extremely prejudice against fruits and vegetables.
Well that settles it:

I appear to be a lunatic man covered from antennaed head to toe with leopard print tattoo, who nobody believes when I say that I can be wielded as a great club using my fists that turn into steel balls.
They don't believe me because I talk like a granny, refuse to go outside because I say that I always get pooped on, despite always being clean and smelling manly, I insist that when I get cold, I'm really becoming undead, I talk to imaginary voices, and I am extremely prejudiced against fruits and vegetables.
But really?
That's just how I appear.

Really, I'm a dragon!

Rolled 470 (1d1000)

Bottoms up

Rolled 140 (1d1000)

Roland...

>>50852276
Right.
1/1000 * 1/1000 = 1/1000000

File: big wave.jpg (101 KB, 2000x1127)

101 KB JPG

>>50849439
Extremely.

Rolled 900 (1d1000)

>>50847592
rollan

Rolled 934 (1d1000)

uh oh...

>>50852967
>Whenever the PC witnesses a spell being casted, they must succeed a DC 10 Will save or roll for a new alignment.
m8, someone needs to roll a Sorcerer with dis shit

>>50850266
Literally the plot hook for the elder scrolls online

>>50850197
>>Whatever the PC kills becomes a tombstone.
>>PC attracts insects of any size.
>> PC's breath becomes combustible.
Anyone else spot this combo?
>Attract a swarm of non-flying insects
>Collect several dozen in container
>Throw insects above target
>Ignite breath, killing insects
>Rain dozens of tombstones down target
Or
>shove insects into target's mouth or ears, killing the insects
>target exploded by tombstone(s)
>Ignite breath to celebrate like a badass.

Rolled 236, 650, 315, 204 = 1405 (4d1000)

Going in

>>50852629
Your a Tumblr user!

Rolled 107, 631, 988, 207 = 1933 (4d1000)

In before I fuck up catastrophically

>>50854911
>Whenever the PC is struck with magic, the surrounding 50 ft area shifts as though it were the opposite time of day. (actual time does not change)
>PC can use fruits as musical instruments.
>PC can summon a magical gong at will and hit it for whatever reason they feel like. The gong doesn't do anything because it's a gong.
>PC's neck, arms, and legs become incorporeal, but their head, hands, feet and body do not.
Less incorporeal and more inconsistent all things considered

>>50847592
>Roll up a dwarf warrior
>First combat of the game
>Against a kobold
>Kobold wins initiative
>Rolls to hit
>20
>Confirm crit
>20
>Confirm instakill
>20
I laughed my ass off and wanted to keep the results as rolled but DM vetoed it because he just wanted to get on with the game.

File: 1478792564261.png (191 KB, 900x656)

191 KB PNG

Rolling

File: 1466003595945.gif (75 KB, 504x504)

75 KB GIF

Rolled 506, 700, 221, 309, 737 = 2473 (5d1000)

>>50855286

FUG

Rolled 383, 280, 969, 585 = 2217 (4d1000)

there we go

Rolled 820 (1d1000)

>>50855346
gotta roll again

Rolled 118 (1d1000)

rolla

>>50854719
Heh.
That is... surprisingly accurate.

Rolled 729 (1d1000)

I wanna try.

File: 1482480350465.gif (591 KB, 320x290)

591 KB GIF

>>50856860
>tfw I buy a cow and start punching it.
>Soon become the wealthiest slaughterhouse in the world.

I like this drink.

>>50847592
Why would a drink this powerful only cost 30gp? How can it be made and/or sold at a random tavern? Why isn't a shitload of things about the world not directly connected to this brew?

Your DM runs a shit game.

>>50858726
It was a joking game , and if you look in the top right of the page, it isn't meant to be taken seriously

>>50859143
Nice joke, cool 10 minute session. Now what's next?

Rolled 917, 629, 299, 931, 181, 592, 298, 908, 859, 495 = 6109 (10d1000)

>>50859183
We kept going

>>50859371
>PC is made of felt. (But takes all damage normally)
>PC becomes a witch, and might encounter witch hunters.
>PC's personal space collapses in on itself and implodes around the PC. After 1d3 days of recovery, the PC can no longer be crushed by any circumstance.
>PC is physically moved to tears whenever they part with any of their money.
>PC is transformed into one the last surviving member of an endangered species. (That strangely enough has the exact same characteristics as the race they were beforehand, other than appearance)
>The PC's evil twin from a parallel dimension materializes next to them.
>PC enjoys a good meal of brains. They also gain very small memories from the brains they consume, and can make a Knowledge brains check (+10 normal DC) instead of any normal knowledge check.
>PC can identify any substance by ingesting it.
>PC chooses an obscure food product. They become professionals in cooking it.
>PC can crack open any kind of nut or seed in their hand.

>>50859371
So what happened after that then?

>>50859472
The bard became allergic to women after some Grog and we then started a quest for the rest of the party to become dieties like me. Sadly, we only had a few sessions after that. :(

>>50859524
>not finding the source of the brew
>not taking control of the brew
>not experimenting with the brew
>not taking over the world with the brew

>Sadly, we only had a few sessions after that. :(
Gee, I wonder why.

>>50859575
It's because my DM got deployed

Rolled 682 (1d1000)

Gonna use this to make an npc.

>>50859633
That's very commendable. The campaign still seemed directionless and one-note though.

Rolled 85 (1d1000)

Rolled 837 (1d1000)

>>50859732
oh boy, reroll

>>50859701
It was going to be a one shot but we decided to see where we could take it

>>50859751
>6 fox tails
How anime can you get?

>>50859757
Well I hope that you guys can play again one day and that the campaign is better structured then.

Thread theme song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdmfVyPrqcc

Rolled 271 (1d1000)

>>50863475
Nice! Now I can do pyrotechnic party tricks without actually needing skill! Might burn the house down, but at least my hands and fingers are safe.

Rolled 84 (1d1000)

Rolled 992, 427, 507, 993 = 2919 (4d1000)

I think I'm gonna do something different and roll for a few of my characters.

> K
> C
> L
> A

>>50865642

> K
The absolute most crazy and absurd things will happen to the party, but only when the PC isn't around.

> C
PC's mouth can open to twice it's normal size.

> L
PC falls in love with the next enemy they see.

> A
PC can store normal sized ships in bottles.


Huh. Not bad on the whole - sucks about that next enemy thing. Definitely obligatory joke about how the mouth thing should have gone to K, though, being a bard.

Rolled 338, 567, 150, 507, 975 = 2537 (5d1000)

>>50865642

I'm probably going to regret this, but...

> So
> Ro
> Ri
> Is
> An

That last one shouldn't even be drinking. She's way too young for that. But then again, no one should be drinking this stuff at any age.

>>50865761

> So
> PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
Oh hey, neat. That's lucky.

> Ro
> PC becomes physically attracted to weapons.
Uh. I can take this in more than one way. At least three ways, and all of them are awkward and dangerous.

> Ri
> PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of killing someone they haven’t met yet.
Does it stop if they meet that person and kill them? Do they dream of a new person? Is the person someone who deserves to die, or a future enemy? Because then it would be obnoxious, but potentially useful.

> Is
> PC falls in love with the next enemy they see.
::proceeds to only go in areas with potential enemies while blind-folded::

> An
> PC gains a grog addiction, if they don't consume one once per week, they take -1 to all ability scores, increasing by one each day without grog.
Oh my fucking god, the irony. This poor child, lol.

Rolled 485, 15, 365, 114 = 979 (4d1000)

>>50847592
Drinking 4 mugs...

Rolled 896, 778 = 1674 (2d1000)

>>50866107
>Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
>Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as fast, twice as much, etc.)
Damn

>>50866107
>>50866131
>PC can sheath TWO of any type of sword in their forearm, and not be hindered in their movement.
Handy
>PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will at DOUBLE strength.
Could also be handy.
>PC evaporates water when they touch it.
Handy unless that includes when it is drunk.
>PC's next temporary effect (other than the grog) becomes permanent (and cannot be removed).
If the previous effect includes drinking, I immediately have the nearest magic user cast whatever the opposite of "Thirst" is on me, or some such.

I am the magical Spongebob Wolverinepants.

>>50847592

Rolled 318 (1d1000)

Hmm.

>>50847592
Let's try it.

Rolled 950 (1d1000)

>>50866391
Whoops, forgot my roll.

>>50849426
S E N S H I
E
N
S
H
I

>>50847592
>PC spontaneously ages 10,000 years. After 1d6 days of recovery, PC is physically otherwise in normal health and stats, but is still 10,000 years older. Lifespan continues as normal.
>normal health and stats

yeah, your DM's homebrew was really fun alright.

>>50849843
I had a dream like that once.

I ended up tying bungee cords connecting my hands to my arms and throwing my hands around like grappling hooks.

>>50851218
There is in character and then there is full blown stupidity, it's not being meta to reign in your pc with a dash of common sense

>bump

>>50847592
Rolling

>>50872095
Grog does nothing, but PC thinks that the grog...
Rolling

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29 KB JPG

>https://www.dandwiki.com

>>50872119
PC believes that doors sigh when they open them.

>>50872119
He thinks doors sigh when he opens them...
Rolling.

Rolled 117 (1d1000)

roll

Here goes nothing