This is a continuation of >>50620632This is an ongoing addition to Love and Krieg. Hope you enjoy.
>>50794296Make sure someone archives the old thread and posts a link to it here, so we can eventually collect everything together in one place.
>>50794296WOOOT WOOOT!>>50794402That's cute but...Krieger's are more fucked up than assassins. I cant see that cute space elf not breaking down when she sees in his head.
He got a few hours sleep before the medicae woke him. He rolled out of the bunk and reached for his gear. Around him the rest of the men grabbed their kit, and when they were all ready they stumbled out of the bunker groggily and followed the medicae to the trench's fire step. The men on watch eyed them curiously, and the sergeant looked at Rochus and raised an eyebrow when he joined him on the step. "Don't ask" He said.It was cold and dark. Fog had moved in while he was asleep and the air was wet. The sun wasn't up yet, and between the darkness and the fog he couldn't see a thing. He began to see the Krieger's point. He could easily understand how an enemy could launch a sneak attack before the regiment could be roused, even with men on watch. Looking out into the fog he imagined he saw shadowy shapes moving in the darkness. He knew it was probably nothing, just his over active imagination, but his gut was telling him not to ignore it. "Gelen" He said quietly "Run and rouse the lieutenant. Tell him i think he should get alpha ready."The trooper's face was pale and he had bags under his eyes. He nodded and the stepped off of the step into the mud at the bottom of the trench and ran off into the fog."Mulder" He whispered "Get on the vox and call for a flare." If the Xenos were out there in the fog, they would already know where the regiment was. You couldn't exactly give away the position of a trench. If they were there, the flares would reveal them, and if they weren't well then at worst he'd get a slap on the wrist. He heard Mulder whispering urgently into the mic, and he looked up over the lip of the trench and waited. He heard the thump as a mortar fired a star shell into the sky. As the burning light ascended into the sky it illuminated the no mans land in front of him, revealing the tall long limbed aliens that had been creeping towards them."Incoming" He shouted as the Xenos raised a ululating battle cry and charged.
Ok, be back latter, i must go.
>>50795024SHIT'S GOING DOWN NOW BOYS
>>50795038We will hold the fort sir.
>>50795024SHIT GOT REAL
Also, I just personally saved everything thus far written. It's 32 pages in length, straight copy-pasted into Word. Thought having a local copy might be a good idea in case it gets lost.
Yeah boiiiiiiiiit continues!
>>50795220hopefully OP will make a page on 1d4chan for the story and properly format it.Or someone else will do this if his wiki-fu isn't strong enough.May or may not some drawfags will draw some stuff for the story
bump from 9
I will be monitoring this thread. Makes me want to jump back into Men of The 89th, though side BL project that will never get published, or focus on one that can get published?
>>50794510>She takes a look inside quite by accident>It's the mental landscape equivalent of a reinforced trench line>Cold steel rebar and concrete, perfect 90 degree angles, battlements, barbed wire>All of it spotless, all of it in inhuman perfection, all of it devoid of life>It all surrounds a statue of the Emperor made from solid cold iron>At it's base, a clockwork soldier marches in perfect tandum to a drum
>>50797717>There is no color>the landscape is more barren than a shielded Eldar mind, despite how open his mental walls were>she can see flashbacks from his past flickering through the near perfect faith and dogma of his mind>a child no more than the age of 4 crawling under miles of barbed wire while lasbolts crack centimeters overhead, a different child looses his bearing, and stands up trying to escape and is shot to pieces in moments, through his minds eye, she watches him bury his mask deeper into the freezing irradiated mud>she sees another angle he's taller now, maybe 1.5m tall, she sees him cutting down a squad ofdeserting comrades with no feeling>she sees what humanity is capable of and can only feel loathing
>>50797953then she meats literally anyone else. Or meets one of the bureaucrats responsible for using them.
>>50798099Shhh anon, it's time for depressing Krieger-posting.
>>50798173The Elf would feel pitty though, maybe, probably.
>>50798200I'd imagine she'd feel a mixture of pity, horror, sorrow, and loathinga
>>50798294Sounds about right if its in reverse order. Depends on which Craftworld the Eldar in question came from, I would guess horror first, than loathing, followed by pity, and finally sorrow when it crosses her mind it is inherently pointless it is for his existence. What happens after that is what I am interested in.
>>50795024XENOS IN THE WIRE
Any idea when OP will update?
>>50799176Seems he pumps out a few paragraphs every evening/night
Alright i'm back. I'll put up an update and then i need to sleep.
>>50800681THE HYPE TRAIN HAS NO BREAKS!
Fuck yar! Terranis Holds
next paaart is coooming eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>50795024He grabbed at his bolt pistol and snapped off a shot over the lip of the trench at the mass of Xenos. The aliens were densely packed and close enough that it hit one, blowing a chunk out of it's hip as the projectile detonated. They were big ugly things, perhaps half a head taller than even Rochus, and as many as two heads taller than the rest of the men in the squad. Rather than run like a man they skipped and hopped towards the trench, their long wiry legs propelling them forward in leaps and bounds. It reminded Rochus of watching a bird hopping on the ground. Their skin was greenish brown and leathery, and they had elongated heads that ended in massive beak like jaws. They carried long weapons that ended with a rifle butt on one end and sprouted scything blades at the other, which they brandished in the air as they ran howling at the guardsmen. They ate up the ground at an absurd pace, covering the remaining distance in seconds. He drew his chainsword and thumbed it to life shouting "Bayonets! Form ra-" but they were upon them before he could finish giving the order. His face was sprayed with arterial life blood as the man next to him, the sergeant of the other squad, caught a blade to the throat. The man was nearly beheaded by the blow, and the corpse fell to the ground with it's head hanging on by a scrap of flesh and lolling to the side.
>>50801674He raised his blade overhead and deflected a slash meant to end his life before shooting the alien point blank with his pistol, reducing the Xeno's torso to a fine mist and small chunks of gore that splattered onto the sergeant and a few of the aliens. Next to him the men rallied and formed a bristling line of bayonet points.The enemy crashed into them, and though several were impaled they broke the guardsmen's formation, and the fight devolved into a chaotic melee. He caught an alien in a backhanded swing and lopped of it's arm at the elbow. As it screeched and recoiled in pain Kranz stabbed it in the chest with his bayonet, sinking the blade up to the hilt in the Xenos' torso. He watched as a second Xenos leaped at Kranz, his shout of warning dying on his lips as the alien grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him closer before biting down on where his neck met his shoulder. Piet screamed for a second, and then fell silent as the monstrous alien snapped it's jaws shut and tore a fist sized chunk out of him. As the alien raised it's head from Kranz's corpse and dropped the body to the ground Rochus screamed and buried his chainsword between it's eyes, bisecting it's skull. A sudden blow from the side knocked him sprawling to the ground and his chainsword slipped from his hand. He rolled over and looked up to see the Xenos that had struck him with the but of it's weapon swinging it around over it's head in preparation to bring the curved blade down on him.
Good night /tg/, see you all tomorrow.
>>50801722Good night writefag.
holy shit bumping it back before it dissappears
bump before I go to bed, keep up the goodlyness op
>>50802996I don't know if this means "oh no they got Kranz" or "screw Kranz i never cared about that guy anyway" In any case working on update
So do you have an outline drafted or are you firing from the hip?
>>50806117There is an outline. I know where it's going, and i have a plan. There is quite a bit of it on the back end i have written up already. But yes, i'm kinda just writing this up as i go. Have been for most of this actually.
>>50801712He reached desperately for his chainsword, but he knew he wouldn't reach it in time. On instinct he threw up his arm, futile as it may be, but the blade never came down. The medicae tackled the Xenos and dragged the whirring blade of his reductor across its stomach disemboweling it. Its steaming guts slipped from the gaping wound and coiled at it's feet as the carcass fell backwards. His hand closed around the hilt of his sword, and he slashed as he rose to his knees and cut through a nearby Xenos leg at the thigh before it could slash Otten. Clawing his way to his feet he knocked aside a swinging scythe. They were being pushed back off the step into the trench proper, leaving behind the bodies man and Xenos alike. It looked like his squad had made it for the most part. The protection provided by their carapace had kept the men intact. Kranz was gone, and Ramaaker had a nasty gash on his right arm, but they were still standing and were beginning to regroup. The other troopers had not been so fortunate. The Xenos blades had parted their flack jackets with ease, and only one was still left. They were surrounded by Xenos, and more poured into the trench behind them. Hopelessly outnumbered Rochus was certain they wouldn't last much longer. Intent on taking as many with him as he could he raised his blade and shouted "Ave Imperator". Taking his chainsword in both hands he began to trade blows with one of the aliens. This alien was taller and paler than the others, and the feathers sprouting from the back of his head were decorated with brightly colored ornaments. Before either of them could strike the decisive blow a red bolt flew in from the side and burned a hole in the aliens skull. He looked over to see Lieutenant Goossens and Trooper Gelen with most of Alpha behind them in various states of undress. But though not all were in full carapace, all were armed. "Charge" roared the lieutenant, and they ran screaming at the aliens.
>>50806197My Digga. I write almost entirely by the hip
>>50806117why, is it overly apparent? Is there some manner of problem that makes you ask that?
anywho, gotta go, be back later.
>>50798294Nonsense, she would immediately get hot and bothered after thinking of how efficient and brutal the krieger mating press would be.
>>50806733no sometimes great ideas come and take your outline and fuck it hard. I like to explore my store as I write it too
I bump for the Emperor!
I bump with good news! I have archived this story for the Emprah!
>this threads destination
>>50811438You do god's work anon.
>>50806685I just see one of the troopers behind the lieutenant awkwardly standing there butt naked 4.7 inch cock hanging out and weapons ready turning red when told to charge against the xenos
>>50812701>4.7 inch cock hanging outGetting awfully specific there anon
>DON'T LET DIS THREAD DIE, YA GITZ!
>>50812879It'll turn into lewds eventually anyway. Seems on point.
>>50812701Bit on the small side there Anon...and there is this>>50812879not yet anyways>>50814689or that disappointing.
>>50815218Not disappointing, just making the note that's it is called "Love" and Krieg, the lewds will appear eventually.
>>50815530Yeah, I get that...this is what I was referring to as disappointing>>50812701unless I just misread that post.
>>50805961"Press F to pay respects"
>>50815591Oh, yeah, a 4.7 inch cock is a little disappointing. I'm not a size king or anything, but I like a good 6-7 inches personally.I might be a little drunk.
>>50817130Yup, got 7 an a half myself. I'm sober though.
>>50817260I had plenty once, then I got fat. Thanks for reminding me that I need to work out /tg/. Jeez.
>>50817435I don't get it, what are you talking about?
>>50817260And I'm horny and drunk enough that that's appealing to me. Gah alcohol.
>>50817548Only into chicks friendo, sorry.
>>50817572Sok. I'm into both so it's all good.
>>50818126Good for you. Have fun being drunk.
>>50818204Am doing so. Hope you have lots of fun too, anon!
>>50818216Spending another year alone surrounded by animals and psychotics. Alcohol does nothing for me. Shit sucks. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
>>50818308I love you though anon! You're a solid guy! Animals are cool too. Don't be sad, you're a cool dude and worth knowing!
>>50818475There was a betting pool in my highschool, with the teachers involved too, on when I would go on a rampage. 4chan is the only place I act civil around other humans. I am either about to die/be arrested/doing something suicidaly stupid, or I am the most boring person in the world. There is no middle ground. Thanks for that kek though.
>>50818605Hey, at least you'll go out with a bang, that's more than most of us can say! Live life with no regrets, anon!
>>50818718Meh, already graduated, and the crazy shit only happens when I go out on walks...kinda like TFS's Alucard. Its more annoying than anything else.
This is not what i expected to see when i got back. Never change 4chan. >>50818308Love you anon. Update incoming.
>>50819035AND THE REASON FOR LIVING IS HERE, KEEP IT COMING!
>>50806685The men of alpha crashed into the Xenos in a wave of flesh and steel. Caught between lieutenant Goossens' force and Rochus' squad the aliens were crushed. A few tried to flee, but they were gunned down as they ran. As the last Xenos fell Rochus turned to count his squad. Fortunately they had taken no further casualties, and the Krieger was seeing to Ramaaker's arm. His squad accounted for he jogged over to lieutenant Goossens "Well Rochus you were right" Said Goossens "I was ready to take it out of your hide when your man got me out of my bunk, but you were right""Can't take credit sir" replied sergeant Brinkerhoff "It was my medicae who suggested the possibility" The lieutenant nodded and hummed before saying "Well i suppose a Krieger would know about trench warfare. We'll have to see if they know anything else useful." Goossens trailed off and looked down at the corpses, and though he wasn't saying anything Rochus could see his mouth moving as he counted silently to himself. His brow was drawn down in concentration, and he was frowning slightly. "Is something wrong sir" Rochus asked."I only count forty Xenos." He muttered "Even if i missed a few, that's hardly enough to kill a whole regiment. Why waste soldiers in an attack like this?""I don't think it was meant to come to an open confrontation sir" sergeant Brinkerhoff replied "When the flare went up they were nearly on us. A moment more and i think they may have killed us all and got behind our lines before we had time to raise the alarm.""An infiltration team then" The lieutenant said slowly with the same look of concentration on his face"Yes sir, it would seem that way sir, but they failed obviously" Rochus said."Tell me sergeant" replied Goosens "If it were you would you send only one team?"
>>50819700The looked at each other for a moment before Rochus said "No, impossible. We made enough racket the whole regiment must be up and on alert. If there was another team then we'd hear the fighting, or someone would have Voxed it in." "Not if they were killing them fast enough" Said the lieutenant "Not if they were killing them before they could fight back or call it in." They shared another look, and Rochus felt his gut sinking as he realized the lieutenant was right. Forty odd Xenos moving quickly through the trenches would be able to effectively silence any men they came across as they stumbled out of their dugouts half awake and unsuspecting of enemy combatants already behind their lines. Rochus had already turned and started running towards his men when he heard Goossens start shouting for men to go secure the motor pool, to check on their food stores, to rouse the rest of the regiment, and to check up and down the line to make sure no other aliens got through. Rochus's squad and one other were assigned to secure the regimental command bunker. They ran as best they could in the muddy confines of the trench. When they were about a hundred yards out from the command bunker, they saw the first body. He shouted for Mulder to call it in over the Vox and then picked up the pace. There were Xenos inside the lines.
>>50817461When you get fat in the crotch area it makes your dick look smaller, and can cover up some of your length.
>>50819725They ran down the zig-zagging trenches and rounded the final corner. A group of the Xenos were standing watch in front of the entrance to the bunker that doubled as regimental command and the colonel's quarters. The men shouted and opened fire with their hell-guns. Caught in the open the aliens were mowed down by the hell-gun fire. They ran closer, and Rochus could hear the sounds of fighting emanating from within the bunker "In in in" The sergeant shouted and Otten and Pender ducked into the entrance before he ran in after them. As they emerged into the room there was a loud crack, and the back of Ottens skull was blown out all over his chest and the bottom half of his face, adding to the gore coating his body. Sidestepping the falling corpse he entered the room and trained his pistol on the first alien he saw. The ugly birdlike Xenos was standing over the colonel's slumped body. He shot it twice in the chest. The first shot of the double tap hit it dead center of mass, and blew open it's rib cage. The second shot hit it slightly higher and destroyed it's shoulder, severing it's arm from it's body when the bullet exploded. In the confined space of the bunker the Aliens had eschewed the use of their longer weapons and fought with knives. He gunned down one more, and then the men engaged them with detached bayonets and trench knives and he was unable to get a clear shot. When the last Xenos was dead he stood in the blood soaked room. The colonel was clearly dead. The feathered hilt of a Xenos knife was protruding from between his ribs. "Fek" said Pender. Rochus found he couldn't agree more. Fek. The colonel was dead. They had been too late.
>>50817130Well he's a grower but the dude is probably be 7.3 inches hard
Sorry i'm so late. The holidays are a lot crazier this year than i had expected. I'll drop a quick update and then i need to get to my dentist appointment, but i'll be right back as soon as that is done.
>>50826401Also, just started reading the 89th. I'll get back to you when i've read a bit more.
>>50819776It was a mess getting things sorted out in the aftermath. There had been two groups of Xenos that had made it behind their lines. Fortunately the second group had been intercepted before they reached the motor pool, so the regiment's armor was still intact. That morning when dawn broke over the horizon it cast it's light on men digging their second mass grave in as many days.The butchers bill for the attack was nearly half a companies worth of troopers. He had sent two men to collect Kranz's body. They would need to collect his weapons and armor, and before the bodies were carted away to their final resting place he wanted the men to have a chance to pay their last respects. The regiment's priests would say their bit at the burial. There were too many dead for them to attend to each of the slain personally, so the squad prayed to the Emperor for Piet Kranz and Quirion Otten themselves before the corpse detail came and carried away their bodies. The men were somber and quiet as they returned to their dugout. Rochus moved as if in a haze. Two more dead. Two more of his men killed right in front of him. It hadn't really hit him at first, it never did really hit him until after it was over and the bodies were being carried away. He knew he'd get over it and move on, he had in the past, but for the moment it was an open wound. Inside the dugout they boxed up the dead men's things, and Rochus selected a memento for each of them. Kranz had loved to play Regicide. Most of the men didn't care for it, but Rochus had indulged him a few times even though he knew he couldn't beat the man from Assen-hive. He added the small fold up set to the box. To remember Otten he grabbed a worn paperback book that the man had carried with him for as long as he'd known him. Quirion must have read it hundreds of times, but he'd still see him thumbing through it every now and again. The book joined the other odds and ends, and then he closed up the box.
>>50827884The feels man, keep it up.
Slowly but steadily it will be revealed that while both the main character and the krieger is in love it's not with each other but with the Emperor
>>50828890The Emperor has a bunch of war nuns for that, he approves of their union.
>>50827884Rochus found he didn't care to try and go back to sleep after what had happened, and it seemed niether did the rest of the men. Mulder hooked up his copy of the Krieger opera and Pender broke out the moonshine. He reminded the men that they had the watch in a few hours, and they kept the drinking to a minimum. Just a bit to take the edge off as they listened to the man and the woman singing in the foreign tongue of Krieg and played a hand of cards. They all pointedly avoided speaking about the two men who were missing, or looking at their bunks. After half a glass of the product of Penders' still and a winning hand Rochus felt mostly human again. Noticing the Krieger sitting off to the side alone he motioned for the man to join them. "Come on" He said "Play cards with us" The Krieger nodded and walked over to where they were sitting in a circle and plopped down next to the sergeant. "What is the purpose of this activity?" He asked."It's gambling" said Rochus " You each offer up something as collateral, and then you play the game. The winner takes the items or money staked by the other players." "How is the winner determined?" Asked the soldier"Well each man is dealt cards, and then when they have their cards they choose whether or not to bet. In the end, the man with the best cards wins" He respondedThe Krieger looked at the cards in his hand and then at the regimental scrip and lho-sticks that had gone into the pot before saying bluntly "This seems like a pointless activity.""The point is that it's fun" He said. The medicae looked at him, and he was sure if he could see behind the mask he would see an expression of incredulity. Time to try a different tactic "It helps keep up moral" "Then as my moral is not in need of improvement i need not participate" said the masked man as he got up to leave the circle
>>50829860It is said that there are countless no fun allowed signs in the planet krieg
>>50829860He blinked twice and then sighed and let the man go. The masked soldier grabbed his weapon and then walked out of the dugout. He'd probably be there waiting for them when they started their watch. It wouldn't be the first time he went ahead and spent his free time at the front. Emperor save him from Kriegers he thought as he turned back to the game. "S'not like he coulda played anyway sarge" said Ramaaker after a moment before throwing in a pack of lho-sticks. "least ways not without taking that mask off, and i don't think i've ever seen him without it." "I don't think he ever takes it off" Said Gelen as he snorted and folded. The stocky ebony haired man had been cleaned out on the last hand, and he was playing it safe now. "I'd bet he slept in it if i ever saw him sleeping. Seem's like he's always awake when i turn in and up before i get out of bed" The conversation moved on after that, as the men turned back to the game and continued betting, but the idea got stuck in Rochus' head. He'd never seen under the medicae's mask. It hadn't really bothered him before, and he hadn't thought too much about it, but now that it had occurred to him it seemed bizarre that after all this time he still had no idea what the man looked like. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just his mind latching on to this new distraction, but he was suddenly intensely curious. He decided to make sure the medicae ate with them today. He always seemed to slip off around meal times, but this time Rochus would insist they ate as a squad, and he would have to take off his mask to eat. Satisfied with his solution, the sergeant turned his thoughts back to the card game. About halfway through the next hand a trooper who wasn't part of the squad entered the dugout. Rochus rose to his feet and turned to face him. "New orders for you sir" Said the trooper as he saluted "Major Junkheer has ordered the watch doubled. Your squad is to report immediately."
>>50830372But anon, they have fun all the time. Don't you love live fire drills and digging trenches? Personally i'm a fan of target practice.
>>50830524and praising the emperor
>>50830493"he" will "eat" through a straw won't he?
>>50830493I wonder what the reaction will be when they realize the Krieger is a chick.
>>50830493As i recall the medic took off his mask when he was quartermaster during the post tunnel breach firefight. Noted as looking particularly young by Rochus
>>50830915agree with this, I remember Rochus thinking that Medicae looked younger than his younger brother
>>50830915I thought that was another krieger and from there Rochus assumed most of them would have been very young.
>>50830915>>50830976the relevant quote from the last thread is "The only trooper not rushing to get into position was the Quartermaster, who was still working among the dead with his servitors. Sergeant Brinkerhoff turned just in time to see the quartermaster strip the mask off of a fallen grenadier and slip it onto a hook on a servitors back. 'By the golden throne' He thought to himself 'he's little more than a child'. The dead grenadier's face was free of any hint of stubble. His cheeks were smooth and his features soft with youth. If he had been even seventeen Rochus would eat his helmet. He couldn't have been any older than his little brother Agner back on Batavi."The Quartermaster pulled the mask off of a dead grenadier. Seeing how young said grenadier was, Rochus assumes that the medicae is of a similar age.
>>50831002I thought so, thanks anon.
>>50830915Fact check fact checked: "He turned back to see if any more grenadiers were coming. There were a few stragglers hurrying towards the line, but it looked like most of them were already in position. The only trooper not rushing to get into position was the Quartermaster, who was still working among the dead with his servitors. Sergeant Brinkerhoff turned just in time to see the quartermaster strip the mask off of a fallen grenadier and slip it onto a hook on a servitors back. 'By the golden throne' He thought to himself 'he's little more than a child'. The dead grenadier's face was free of any hint of stubble. His cheeks were smooth and his features soft with youth. If he had been even seventeen Rochus would eat his helmet. He couldn't have been any older than his little brother Agner back on Batavi. Throne, he was probably younger than Agner was at this point."
you know i'm really regretting not putting in more exposition and some descriptions of the troopers earlier when they were introduced. At the time i wasn't sure how long the thread was gonna last and i didn't want to bog things down describing everyone, but now i'm realizing how incredibly awkward it is to try to do it this late in the game. I've been sitting here for like twenty minutes typing and deleting things trying to get it to fit naturally, and i just can't seem to do any better than shoehorning it in.
>>50830493Major Junkheer had been been Colonel Koning's second in command, and had apparently succeeded him. It was equally apparent that he didn't want to go the way of his predecessor. Rochus returned the salute and said "Understood trooper. We'll report immediately" The man nodded and then left. The sergeant turned around and walked over to were he had stowed his carapace. He'd wiped the worst of the blood and gore off of it earlier with a wet rag he'd used to clean off his face following the battle, but even though the plates were clean now he could still see them flecked with Otten's brain matter and splatters of blood from the troopers and aliens that had died around him. There was no helping it though, he couldn't report for duty out of his armor, so he pushed the images aside in his mind and reached for it. He'd long since become accustomed to donning carapace armor, and soon he was pulling on the last pieces. When he was finished suiting up he turned to look at the room. The rest of the men were ready and waiting with their helmets held under their arms. The men looked tired. Most had bags under their eyes. Pender, who had a rather pronounced brow, seemed like his hazel eyes were sinking into his skull. Their hair was filthy. When they'd left to begin the push north they had done it the day before his squad's wash day, and they hadn't had a chance to clean up in more than a week. You could barely tell that Mulder was blonde, and Ramaaker's bright red mop had lost it's sheen. Yet despite having just fought a battle, and having been woken far earlier than they were accustomed to, his men stood straight and tall. All of them, from Corporal Haanrath who stood just shorter than Rochus, to the smallest man on the squad Alfons Eikenborn. They all stood before him ready to report for duty. It filled him with pride. He lead the men out of the dugout and on to the front, where they found the Krieger waiting for them, and they took up their positions.
>>50831069hint: if you bring the characters into a new situation you can linger them a little more and describe them more.Like at the card tables you meantion one troopers quirk or how someone doing banter on his lucky trincket, whatever.After a firefight you can describe how one trooper cleans his specific equipmentetc.
>>50831483Thank you, i'll try to do that.
For the record if at any point any of you have questions, or things you are uncertain about please ask. If you wonder what my thought process is behind certain things go ahead and inquire. I don't mind, and i'll answer anything not involving spoilers. To the anons who thought i had messed up and Rochus had seen the medicae's face earlier, thank you for voicing your concerns. I appreciate it. I hope things have been cleared up.
>>50831573Been lurking, liking what I see.It was already pretty good, but now you're putting extra effort into the descriptions of places and people the story has improved considerably. As far as the characters' physical attributes go - don't worry about it too much. No need feel like you have to shoehorn, just start dropping small details in when it seems appropriate. A good tip is to do what Pratchett did - describe the impression each character gives off and then the reader's mind fills in the blanks itself. We all knew exactly what each member of the City Watch looked like based only on the vaguest of details.I would say give please give each post a once-over for spelling and punctuation, as this improves the reading experience remarkably. You're doing incredibly well and I look forward to reading the rest. Try not to worry about update frequency or feel like you're under pressure. We're invested in the story now and are happy to wait until you've gotten each post to a state you're happy with. Best of luck!
>>50832223>give please give I really should stop sucking cocks and try following my own advice.
>>50832223I've never read Pratchett i'm afraid. Well i've read one book, but it was a while back. It's on my to do list but i never seem to find the time. So i'm afraid i may have difficulty applying your advice, i will do so to the best of my understanding. I actually have been giving them a once over, but apparently i'm missing things. That or my grasp on the English language is just a lot worse than i thought it was. How bad is it?
>>50831357Soon after they arrived Lieutenant Goossens came and delivered their orders. They were to remain on watch for the remainder of the day. Another squad would relieve them in the evening so they could rest and get some sleep, and then they needed to be in their carapace and back on the firing step before first light. The men grumbled a bit, but they knew there was no helping it. The morning was long. At frequent intervals he'd use a parascope to look out over the top of the trench and see if there was any movement, but as the hours dragged by he didn't see a single sign of Xenos activity. He would make periodic rounds and nudge men at their posts, signalling them to get up and switch places with another member of the squad to keep them awake. Being caught sleeping on watch was a serious violation of regulations, and he didn't want any of his remaining men getting put up against the wall by the regiment's Commissar. Doing rounds to check on the men had the added benefit of keeping him awake as well. At noon when the sun was directly overhead they were temporarily relieved so that they could eat. Since they were eating here right next to their post he didn't even have to insist the Krieger eat with them, he was already sitting down to do so on his own. He watched intently as the rest of the men pulled off their helmets and reached for their MREs. The Medicae's hand delved into his pack, and emerged carrying two small foil packages. Rectangles to be precise. As the rest of the men opened up their MREs the Krieger pulled back the foil revealing two chalky looking off-white bars. He watched as the Krieger reached up and grasped at the bottom of his mask. He leaned in a bit, and he noticed Mulder and Eikenborn doing the same. The Medicae took the edge of his mask firmly in hand and pulled it up just enough to smuggle one of the bars under it into his mouth. It lifted just high enough for him to see the Krieger's lower jaw, but no more than that.
>>50830633I'm rather predictable aren't i?
>>50832595nah, I just know how gasmasks works. Plus it wouldn't be fun to reveal the face just now.
>>50832223listen to this guy. No matter how many of us will bitch that we want updates know, in the end it we will forgive you if the end product is good. But no matter how fast you produce stuff if it's shit we won't forgive you.No pressure
>>50832662I'm glad you feel that way. When i read your post i was worried you were irritated by how long it's taking. I actually don't know much about gas masks. Google and guesswork can only get me so far, so would you care to share any of your sage knowledge?
>>50832705there is usually a sealed hole somewhere in it and you can put a metal straw through that. The hole is sealed as long as the metal straw isn't there. Through the straw you can drink various stuff, even protein cocktails and various other stuff.Obviously that's just one working method and I'm sure there are others as well
>>50832688>>50832223Alright i'll take a bit more time before posting then. Find an editor maybe. Has the quality been poor? Be honest with me. If there is a problem i want to know so i can fix it. I promise it won't crush my soul and make me stop if you give it to me straight.
>>50832758lurker here, you're doing great, just a few (very) minor issues with spelling/grammar, nothing big. >>50832223 and >>50831483 have good advice. Even without those, you're doing fine. Def one of the better writefags to do this stuff
Gotta say, I'm actually liking this more than the first Love and Krieg. Don't get me wrong, I adore the original, but it did feel overly cheesy at times. This seems like the more in-universe one.Can't wait to get to the romance though.
>>50832582His jawline was smooth, and a lot narrower than Rochus had expected. The mask made his face seem a lot thicker than it was. The sight of his slim hairless jawline convinced Rochus of his earlier assumptions. The Medicae was younger than them. Considerably younger. As the Krieger dropped his mask back down and started to chew Alfons' face fell and Pender threw back his head and cackled when he saw his expression. Eikenborn's face colored and he whipped around, but before he could say anything Rochus attempted to defuse the situation by pointing at the greyish bars sitting in front of the Krieger and quickly asking in a loud voice " What are those medicae?" "These are my rations sir" Said the masked man. By now the sergeant was beginning to detect slight fluctuations in the Krieger's monotone, or maybe he was just imagining things, but it seemed to him that the Krieger sounded confused by his question. "Well yes i can see that" He replied "but what are they?""Ration bars sir" said the Medicae "An efficient processed source of nutrition that contains all the proteins, carbohydrates,vitamins and minerals the body requires. The bars are compacted prior to packaging so that they do not take up unnecessary room in a guardsmen's pack, and they keep indefinitely. These qualities make them an ideal ration".
>>50835072During this little speech the men had all stopped eating and turned to look at the Krieger. They were silent for a moment, and then Corporal Haanrath looked down at the gluey noodles and mysterious meat byproduct that had come from his MRE. He looked back up and said "I never thought i'd see or hear of anything less appealing than a MRE.""How can you eat that?" asked Ramaaker as his lips curled in disgust "It fulfills my dietary requirements" Replied the masked man"Is that all you eat?" Asked Rochus"No" Replied the Medicae "However it is not possible to consume regular rations without removing my mask, which is part of my uniform. I cannot be out of uniform while we are on duty. I would ordinarily consume liquid rations through the access port built into my mask, but i have run out of liquid rations. Ration bars are the next best alternative, as i can consume them easily without fully removing my gas mask" "What's it taste like?" Asked Gelen, his eyes alight with curiosity."It is difficult to describe" responded the Krieger "The ration is sweetened to aid consumption, however there is a distinctive after taste. If you wish you may sample one""I think i will" said Koenraad with a grin on his face.
>>50832582Hnnng, Krieger nibbles are adorable.
>>50835099Oh god...this wont end well.
>>50835099The men leaned in as he sliced off a sliver from the bar with his knife. Gelen made a show of it. Striking a dramatic pose he lifted the morsel slowly into the air above his head in an exaggerated arc before tipping his head back and dropping it into his open mouth. He went around the circle looking each man in the eye as he slowly chewed it before swallowing. "That's not half bad" He said "Don't know what you are talking about, i'm not getting any after taste" When he finished speaking he took a pull from his canteen, and then his face screwed up in a grimace "Ugh, there it is. That's absolutely foul". As his face contorted the men hooted in laughter. "Yes" Said the Krieger "As i said it is distinctive, however if you do not drink for a time after consumption you can avoid the worst of it""Why didn't you warn me before i drank then?" asked the grimacing guardsmen.The Krieger looked him straight in the face and said in a completely level monotone "You said you wished to experience the taste. I did not wish to deprive you of the experience"
>>50835171HA! The Krieger is fitting in nicely.
>>50835171That is wonderful. I hope they stary being nice to the odd duck now.
Bump from 9
I only just realised that this thread's still up (reading in the archive). Have one more bump from me. OP, you're fantastic and I love this entire thing.
God-tier writefaggotry OP. Don't stop!
die fahne hoch....bumpgeschlossen
Los! Kameraden, Bump fitzgeraden
>>50839029Todeskorps bumpt mit ruhig festem Schritt.
>>50839613Kameraden die bumpfront und reaktion erosssscen
>>50827096BE WARNED there are two of themtheres the one on 1d 4chanand the re-written one here: http://pastebin.com/YDHKgrkgboth by me, but the re-write is the latest and much longer. Ive been wanting to post more, but eh /tg/ doesn't seem to care
>>50840422Thanks for this, didn't even know about it.
>>50840717yup, theres a bout 5 more chapters not posted in the past bin, right now the Cadian's are in Rest and Refit in a city that's garrisonsed by the Krieg, who haven't seen combat in 6 months.
>>50812879>>50815218He did say "hanging out", so it could be a flaccid grower. Flaccid size doesn't correlate well with erect size. They've done studies on this.
>>50840906I'm reading it now, so far so good :) If you feel like letting some one read it please do let me know :DAre there any more like it that you know of? I'm new to the 40k books side of things.
>>50840993ig 40k novels?Not sure. I was just trying to go with "nonfiction account" theme for Men of the 89th. GW doesn't like humanizing the guard since Cadia is getting squatted next year
>>50841059From what little I've read I prefer the fan made stuff. Like Gav and Bob, I need more of Gav.
>>50841152who are Gav and bob?
>>508412821d4chan gav and bob, it's what got me into loving the guard. If you haven't read it, you're in for a treat
>>50841282You don't know about Gav and Bob? Get to 1d4chan before I kick you off the golden toilet.
>>50841383The Emperor just wanted to talk with bob, that's all.
Alright update incoming.
>>50843074Yea sounds good :)
>>50835171They all laughed for a bit after that. Even Gelen joined in. The only one who didn't laugh was the Krieger. After the laughter had died down they quickly shoveled their food into their mouths. They knew they would have to go back on watch soon and if they didn't finish eating before then, then that was their problem. Pender bent over and pulled the ration close to his lips. He moved his utensil in a rhythmic fashion, continuously shoving food into his mouth. The man ate so fast it looked like he was practically inhaling it. Ramaaker had tipped his head back and was letting gravity do his work for him and slide the ration down into his gullet. Mulder and Gelen ate at a slightly more reserved pace. They remained upright and took the time to chew a bit before swallowing. Albeit their jaws worked frantically. Eikenborn started out eating normally, but after a moment decided to emulate Pender and raised the ration up to his face. Of them all the Krieger was the only one who wasn't hurried. He would calmly grab a bar with one hand, grasp the edge of his mask with the other, and then pull it up just enough to slip the bar under it just as he had before. He repeated this process five times before the ration bars had been fully consumed, and then sat and waited as the rest of the men finished up with their MREs. Rochus watched him do this out of the corner of his eye as he ate his ration, hoping that the mask would get a little higher and he might see a bit more of the boy's face, but he didn't get his wish. He saw no more of the Medicae's face than his narrow jawline, but he did see the jagged edge of a lock of greasy blonde hair peeking out from behind the boy's jaw. It was better than nothing he supposed. When they had finished up with their meal they returned to their posts. The afternoon dragged on just like the morning had. When the time arrived for the evening meal they didn't have the energy to do much more than eat in silence.
this is pretty fucken great
>>50843497They remained at their posts until the sun began to set. The men's eyes were drooping, and he saw Ramaaker reach down for his snuffbox and take a hit of the stimulant he kept in it to stay awake. When their watch was over they then stood on the firing step with the rest of the men for the newly instituted nightly stand-to until after the sun had descended beyond the horizon and it was well and truly night. When they were finally released to their bunks for the night he could hear Eikenborn muttering quiet thanks to the Emperor for their deliverance. They stumbled back to their dugout, and when they got there the men barely paused to strip off their armor before falling into their bunks. Rochus flopped onto his cot and closed his eyes. He heard one of the men shuffling around, and then the light snuffed out. He heard a few more footsteps heading towards the exit and then the dugout fell silent. Whoever hit the lights must have had his bunk near the entrance he thought and he settled in to sleep. However despite his weariness sleep eluded him. He tossed and he turned in his bunk. He felt grimy, and even though he knew he had wiped it off he could imagine the sticky feeling of semi-congealed blood on his face and neck where the other sergeant's arterial spray had hit him on the firing step. He felt like the gore had gotten into his skin. He needed to clean up, to scrub himself raw so he could feel clean again, but their wash day wasn't for another two days. 'Although' he thought to himself 'at this time of night everyone is either asleep, on watch, or on a night work detail. The showers are probably empty. I could pop over and have a quick wash, and then hurry back and get to sleep. As long as i don't get caught by the Commissar it'd be fine, and it's not like he's gonna be watching the showers. If he's awake he'll be doing rounds, keeping an eye on the men on duty.'He nodded to himself, his decision made, and quietly got up and grabbed his towel.
>>50844391I like where this is going
>>50843581OwO what's this?
>>50844391He moved through the dugout as quietly as he could. He didn't want to wake the men. As he moved past each bunk he would stop for a second and look to make sure he hadn't roused them from their slumber. He made it out without incident, but when he passed by the Krieger's bunk he noted that it was empty. The Medicae wasn't in the dugout. He shook his head in the darkness. 'Crazy Krieger' he thought to himself. If he passed the boy on his way to the shower he would order him back to the dugout to get some sleep. He hurried through the trenches towards the showers. It was a bit of a walk, but he made good time. Fortunately this trench network had been made by the Death Korps just like the one they had occupied before, and as such had the same layout, so he knew where he was going and didn't have to waste any time looking for it. The trenches were empty. He didn't pass anyone on his walk, and was able to stick to the duckboards since there was no one to crowd him off into the mud. He arrived at the bunker that housed the regiment's showers and stepped into the changing room. As he stripped off his fatigues he could hear a shower running. Looking around he saw a neatly folded great coat sitting on a bench across the room. On top of the coat were a gas mask, a Death Korps helmet, and a Medicae's reductor. Sitting on the ground next to the coat, leaning against the bench, was a medikit. Stenciled on the side of the bag was DKK 208th 1G 4S QM 7-0-9. He recognized it. That was his Medicae's bag. 'Huh' He thought as he stripped off his pants 'looks like the kid had the same idea i did.' He smiled as he left the changing room and walked into the showers. It looked like he'd get to see what the Medicae's face looked like today after all.
You are all going to hate me, because i'm afraid unlike Rochus you aren't going to get to see the Medicae's face today. I have to go, and that's the last chance i'll have to post for today. The good news is i'll be back tomorrow, and /tg/ will be getting it's Christmas gift from me a day early. In other news i would like to propose a game. We've reached about the halfway point, and i've started thinking about what'll happen when i've finished this. I've really enjoyed doing this, and it's got me writing again for the first time in years. Honestly this is the most i've written in a long time and it feels good. I'd like to continue when this is done, assuming people don't want me to stop and the janitors and mods don't crack down on me. So, i would like to hear people's requests for writefaggotry they would like to see done when i'm finished with love and krieg 2.0 , if you all are interested in me continuing. This is where the game comes in. If you are interested then when you bump rather than just bumping post your request, and your best guess at who i used as inspiration for the Medicae (besides characters from Dead Men Walking). First anon to guess right gets their request done when i finish with this, as long as it's not porn without a plot. If you do decide to participate please wait to bump until the thread hits 9 or so to keep from cluttering it up too much. Thanks for everything /tg/ have a nice day. I'll see you all tomorrow.
>>50844924See you, write-anonI'd been hankering for something to read for a while now, so thanks a lot for writing something I'm enjoying a lot.
>>50844924Literally worse than Hitler
>>50844991eh not that bad, I've done worse
>>50844924Can you write about the exploits of the Emperor's greenest? (Heretical orks that worship the emprag instead of gork and mork)
>>50844924DKK 208th 1G 4S QM 709I take it that means: "Death Korps of Krieg, 208th Regiment, 1st Grenadier, 4th Squad, Quartermaster, and then their numbers?"
>>50845863MooooddddddssssssssssI see totties' anon.
This is a good thread. Love and Krieg was always a favorite for me, if a bit too...well you seem to have fixed it, whatever it was. Carry on based writebro, carry on. Do try not to Abnett it up too hard and kill about 80% of the original cast by the end.
>>50847475Well I mean he is writing about ig. We've lost three of the ten members of the squad we started with to death or incapacitation so far. I'm willing to bet we'll see more casualties before we're done. >>50845863Did you accidentally post the wrong pick friend?
>>50847633As long as lewds happen he can kill whoever he likes. (I'd rather the kreiger survive though)
>>50847633Eh? I dunno bout you, but almost all my favorite people in Gaunts Ghosts died a long ass time ago. Makes watching Game of Thones a drag for the same reason. Mad Larkin and Tyrion Lannister can't carry an entire series on their backs.There's pacing, and then there's killing characters because of the author's crippling fear that you may have forgotten for even a moment that this series takes place in a dark setting when good men die for nothing, and less than nothing. >*has a scared child kill Caffran* Whew, almost thought we were in a romance drama for a moment there! Thanks for keeping me tonally grounded Abnett!
>>50847475It's an overused phrase here, but the original L&K was a bit magical realm. It was less a story and more (if we're honest) self-insert emotional masturbation. Our new OP is giving us an actual story with actual characters, with a Krieger that feels like an actual Krieger and less like a mute army cosplayer.Not saying it was without its charms, but I find the original overstays its welcome.
>>50847855I think his handlers go out of their way to nix any kind of romance, because romance is the kind of fantasy that makes people uncomfortable and unreasonable. Yanno not like any other escapism the readers wants, because patronizing and belittling your consumers intelligence is the way to go with BL
>>50847855I read that wrong. Shit I have transitioning shifts. go me 30+ hours of no sleep
>>50848519I suppose you're right. I don't really know if Abnett has all the creative freedom he'd like. Its one of the few things that keeps me from loving Warhammer as much as I wish I could. It's compounded by the fact that by necessity nothing is ever solved in the setting. Battletech had the same problem, and it hurt, even though I loved that setting too.Not every single fucking victory needs to be phyrric, not every single fight needs to be won at great cost. Sometimes, the Imperium really ought to just win, or better yet, win with intelligence and skill.The Eisenhorn books were a great opportunity for this, seeing highly trained, intelligent and effective Imperials at work. But it was still the same. Buy victory at the cost of friends and comrades, and end by making an evil choice among evil choices. (#Quixosdidnothingwrong) By the end, Eisenhorn is alone, more than three quarters mad, with only his Daemonhost for company.Also haven't I seen you around before? I could have sworn I read something by you a long time ago.
>>50848974oldschool writefagI was around in the days of Colonel Faggot (Cluexus guy who made Cultist Chan)I wrote Men of the 89th (CADIANS HUA)The Stray (Drow Assasin)The Paladin Sucubus StoryThe Guards (Guardman and a Guardian trying to survive together)A Banshee fic for WSTTons of other smaller thingsI've been around since 08
>>50849077Colonel Faggot, there's a name I haven't heard in awhile.
>>50849077Aww. I remember the Guards thread. I liked that one. God I haven't seen anything by Mr. Culexus in ages.
>>50849211Also holy shit he updated Boonequest!http://mr-culexus.deviantart.com/art/BOONEQUEST-Finale-03-644483807
>>50849211Man its been forever since I did the Guards Threads, years. If you read Men of the 89th, go back and read the Guards, then shit brix
>>50844924I'll tell you what I'd like to see.A detachment of Sister Hospitallers' fighting alongside a Krieg Regiment and seeing all the terrible things that go with being wounded and such in a Krieg Regiment. Leave you for dead, strip the corpse, etc..Maybe even some romantic stuff between a decently high ranking Hospitaller who takes upon a personal project of "healing/fixing" a Krieger with affection with some incredibly confusing and mixed results. Or something along those lines.
>>50844924I don't know who you're basing the Medicae off, but I would love more Gav from Gav and Bob :)
>>50849077The paladin succubus story that was really good but then ended mid story and never updated again?
>>50847633Mistakes were made
Alright anons listen. I had planned to update right now when i got off of work, but i feel like absolute garbage. I need to get some sleep. I will update today, i promise, but it may not be until this evening. I am sorry for the delay. >>50845863>>50850635These are both good requests. I could honestly see myself enjoying doing either one of those. Post your guesses if you have them. If not i suppose i could just pick something if no one guesses it by the end. >>50850696Thank you for participating. To be quite honest i don't know that i would feel comfortable doing that. I loved Gav and Bob, but i don't know that i would be able to pick up someone else's piece and run with it. It would just seem kinda rude to me. I could do something with ogryns in it that looks to Gav and Bob as inspiration i suppose, but i don't think i want to take someone else's work and characters and start messing with them. I'm sorry i can't fulfill your request. >>50846331Yes, it's meant to be an abbreviation of the designation the Medicae had in the Korps, which was mentioned the first time Rochus talked with them in the tunnel.
>>50850942yup didn't seem like /tg/ cared anymore. But I'm working on finishing it and getting it published so there's that
>>50853319Woop looks like gotta add succu pali to my reading list then
>>50853215Samus Aran since I honestly have no clueMy request is still orks screaming FOR THE EMPRAAAAAGGGGHHH whilst charging into battle against chaos brandishing choppas with crude engravings of kill de heretiks
Ob strum oder bump
is someone archiving thesewhere
>>50853215No worries mate, but remember the author kept it open ended and welcomed anyone to continue it.I would be very keen for an inspired by.. Something about the simple outlook and blunt way of life just makes it a nice read.Keep up the good work and sleep well.
>>50855987it's been a favorite of many for a while now
>>50857153Is your writing online? or published? I liked the first two chapters of 89th you posted before.
>>50844750As he stepped into the shower he saw the Medicae standing under a spray of water facing away from him. The first thing he noticed was the Krieger's hair. The Medicae's fingers were threading through their blonde locks working up a lather, and the motion drew his attention to it before anything else. The Medicae had thick blonde hair that was cut to about jaw length. The ends were uneven. The Krieger's hair looked like someone had taken a knife to it and sawed off the extra until it was at the desired length. His eyes followed the motion of the Medicea's hands to their arms. They were slim, but he could see their well developed muscles moving under the skin as they coiled and uncurled, moving the Krieger's hands back and forth and up and down over their skull. Next his eyes followed the Medicae's arms down to where they met the Krieger's shoulders. The Medicae's shoulders were much narrower than he'd expected. The Medicae looked rather dainty now that he saw them out of their armor and great coat. He'd known the Krieger was shorter than him and most of the other men on the squad, but he'd expected more bulk even if they were an adolescent.
>>50859054His gaze slid down the Krieger's back. Their torso gathered in around the waist before flaring out into round full-bodied hips. His mind stopped then for a fraction of a second before he processed what he had just seen. Wait wait wait, hips? Nice curvy feminine hips? A round tightly muscled derriere? Long shapely legs? He must have made some sound when he entered the shower, because as the truth began to dawn on him the Krieger whipped around to face him. Oh sweet God Emperor the Medicae had tits. They were modest, far from the largest he'd seen, but they were definitely not small. The Krieger's breasts were full and rounded and gloriously perky. It really hit him then. By the Golden Throne, the Medicae was a woman! A woman with tits and hips and the best ass he had ever seen. A woman who was standing in front of him naked and wet and glistening. A woman who was saying something. He tore his eyes up to her face. Her jawline was slim and elegant and she had high cheekbones. It was apparent that her nose had been broken at least once before, possibly multiple times, but even still she had a very pretty face, Perhaps not classically beautiful, but pretty nonetheless. Her grey eyes opened wide with surprise and when her full lips moved and she spoke her voice trembled. “Sergeant?" she said quietly the question plain in her voice "What are you doing here?”
Surprise. Merry Christmas. I'll be back this evening with more, gotta go now.
>>50859077FUCKING KNEW IT.LEWDS CONFIRMEDTHANK THE THRONE
>>50859104You're killing me writefag, I need more!
>>50857354nothing published yet, BL told me to go fuck off with men of the 89th twice now, working on a thrid
>>50859077good shit. Hope sergreant doesn't get blammed
>>50859955That's the next update: the commissar walks in and just shoots them both.
>>50860197with his dick
>>50860312I love youMerry Christmas
>>50860216I'd watch it.
>>50859104Man writefag, you are busting my balls
>>50859362>Reject 89th and Shoggy's AGP>Let ADB sperg out in the Horus Heresy about how Abbadon is super kewl and Chaos is a great stepdad while The Emperor is a big meanie head.Black Library wouldn't know quality if it hit them with a car and then sat by their bedside the entire time they were recovering in the hospital. It's why 40k is one of the only franchises where fannon trumps cannon.
>>50861722They told me and I quote"The tone provided is not inline with the 40k universe that we are trying to deliver"Basically Guard need splosions and dyiing, no complex huamnization, or treating them as real human beings. thats far to complex for the basic customer, and it only enrages them and makes them stop showering for several years and roll around in a GW store carpet.Even worse, Absolutely NO mil wank in an IG novel. NONE whatso ever. Don't you DARE use a phonetic alphabet or radio etiquette!
Alright, thank you for being patient. Let us continue. >>50859362Best of luck mate, i'm rooting for you. Aslo, >>50853319 assuming we are thinking of the same thing, i for one would love to see more. Let me know if you publish that. >>50856054It's a good guess, but not quite. Keep reading and if you have another guess feel free to try again. I'll keep the emprah's greenest on the list of possibilities. >>50856767That does change things slightly i suppose. I'll consider it further. >>50859322>>50860552My sincerest apologies for the inconvenience. >>50860312Thank you for linking that. I suppose when we get around to a third thread i should probably include that up top for people.
>>50862229just for the helluv it, and while you guys waitchapters 3-4http://pastebin.com/nRV1LVu7
>>50862257it's a christmas miracle!
>>50853215What are we guessing about here, oh glorious writefag?
>>50859077She was clearly distressed. The signs were subtle, but they were there. He could see the fear in her eyes. He wouldn't have thought a Krieger could show that much emotion before today. Of course before today he never thought he'd meet a female Krieger either. In the back of his mind he thought that if he were in her position, an attractive female who'd had a large naked man barge in on them while they were showering alone in the night, he'd probably be pretty afraid too. He needed to handle this carefully, and tactfully. So of course when he opened his mouth what came out was an exclamation of “What in the Emperor's name is this?” A pained looked crossed the Krieger's face and she stepped closer to him and said “Please Sir, I can explain”“Explain what” he bit back “why one of my men has breasts and I didn't know about it?” He knew this wasn't the way to handle it, that this wasn't helping anything. His mind was screaming at him to stop, but his mouth was running on it's own and dragging him along for the ride.
>>50862758He couldn't keep himself from looking down after he mentioned her breasts, and a drop of water running along her chest caught his attention. He watched it slide across her right breast and continue down between them. His eyes followed it as it ran along the taut skin of her stomach to her naval, and then he caught himself and pulled his eyes up before they roamed any further. He was painfully aware that this was the first time he had been alone with a woman in more than a year. The first time since the regiment's old commissar had bought it leading a charge against some dug in cultists and his replacement had cracked down on troopers seeing Joygirls. He hadn't been this close to a naked woman since then, and he couldn't help but be aware that the Medicae was a very attractive woman. Other parts of his anatomy were rapidly becoming aware of her as well. He needed to get out of here. Now. He wheeled about and stepped towards the exit. It didn't make sense. Why hadn't he known? Why hadn't he been told? There was no reason for Goossens to have kept this from him. The Lieutenant wouldn't have kept this from him, unless...She grabbed him and held him fast. "Please sir, please don't report me" the Medicae said in a small voice.Unless the Lieutenant hadn't known.
I hate it when something is at that awkward length were it doesn't quite fit into one post. >>50862657Who i used as inspiration for the Medicae's character. Post guesses along with your requests for writefaggotry when you bump. First one to get it right wins, and i do their request when i've finished this. >>50862358You are a saint mate.>>50862390I said i'd be back, and i try to keep my word. Merry Christmas anon.
>>50862829I feel like it's Deborah Sampson? Or maybe that Medicae that was written in that "How to be a Krieger" post series.I asked for the Hospitaller thing.
>>50862829merry christmas to you too
>>50853319I remember when I was a newfag on /tg/ and was reading all the stories I could. I loved that story and felt quite cheated that it never got an ending. I am happy to hear you are writing again, and I for one will be stoked to read it all over again.
>>50862809hrmm I hope this doesn't turn into "Please don't look at me senpai Kawi ugu"I'm hoping for inhuman interaction. Like not even making the connection that man+woman= lewd. That the kriger is more upset with the fact that she is using the shower independent of orders or an authorized hygiene period.So far the Kriger has been milling about in a manner I would describe as "puppy like" learning new tricks and things. Its endearing because the conflict that the krieg have of nature vs nurture. Where their nature is inhuman, and the nurture is the other squad humanizing the krieg.Then again I could be right and its "sorry for showering without orders" I have an inhuman ability to guess plotlines before they happen anyway.>>50863049That makes me happy to hear. It really does. Not sure if you've been following but its gotten a few more chapters since I last posted on /tg/ but they are up on 1d4chan
>>50863287My guess is she doesn't want him to tell on her showering, or as implied, that she was assigned to an all-male squad accidentally as she's starting to develop connections to Rochus's squad.
>>50863413I think the krieg would ironically be a-ok with the whole mixed squads thing because they simply don't have that kind of distraction. They are all the same in the uniforms and the interpersonal relationships don't really exist.You have to remember to see the eyes through the world of the krieg first, rather than your eyes through the world of the krieg.Again we'll see how it plays out. I'm hoping for charatcers integrity to stay.
Oh jeez i hope this doesn't loose me all my readers. Just a bit more before the update and then things should become clearer. >>50862877Both very good guesses. You are correct in that that screencap was one of my sources of inspiration for the story, but it wasn't what i modeled the Medicae on actually. Still, for the moment you are in the lead so to speak. >>50863412Nope. Didn't cross my mind once actually, but i can understand why you would think that. Good guess>>50863287I don't intend it to turn into "kawaii ugu". I intend to keep the inhuman interaction and the jarring moments coming. The Krieger isn't going to make a 180 over night, but i do hope to portray the Krieger slowly being humanized. I hope i don't screw up and you enjoy where i take this. I really hope to maintain character integrity. I'm trying to maintain character integrity. It kinda worries me that i'm throwing up warning flags here. I'm also terrified this will start a shitstorm. I really hope this doesn't start a shitstorm.
>>50863579learn from this.you are the writer, its your story. Write for yourself first others second. I only fear the warning flags because of some writers trying to pander to /tg/ memes. Other than that you have done an amazing jobe building the characters with their own unique personalities. When I can predict how they will act that is a sign that the character is developed and not a cardboard cutout for the reader to wear into the storyMy advice though, if you are going to go lewd go full in. Never half ass something that makes people fall back into thier victorian comfort zone. in the end people respect you for taking a path and holding it through the storm.
>>50850942Where would I find this paladin succubus story? "Paladin Succubus" isn't good enough google fu to find it up suptg.
>>50864139PRAISE THE EMPEROR!
>>50862809He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Oh throne he shouldn't be doing this. "You said you could explain" He said in as level a tone as he could manage "Please do so." "yes sir, right away sir" She said, returning to her normal monotone. His eyes flicked over against his volition. She had still made absolutely no attempts to cover herself or hide her nudity. It seemed that modesty was a foreign concept to her. In retrospect he suspected her distress had been because he had discovered her gender, rather than the fact that he had intruded on her in the shower. He suspected her reaction would have been much the same if she had been fully clothed and all he had seen was her face. Still, just because she didn't know she should cover herself and apparently had no problem standing in front of him naked didn't mean he wasn't taking advantage of her by looking. He fixed his eyes on the ceiling as he listened to her explanation."When i was an infant the Administratum ordered the formation of a mixed gender regiment to serve as a long term garrison on a fortress world." She began "Both genders in my creche were inducted into the training program. I preformed very well. I scored highest in my training cadre on tests for memory, hand eye coordination, and fine motor control. It was determined that i would receive further training as preparation to serve as a Quartermaster, and i began to have additional sessions with the Ministorum priest in charge of our cadre's religious instruction."
>>50864306She paused and took a breath before continuing "However shortly before we completed our initial training and were to graduate to our provisional regiments the order was rescinded. As the formation of a mixed gender regiment was no longer necessary, Command ordered the female members of our training cadre be transferred to the recruitment program. I did not know how to respond to this. I had been told i was born to die for the Emperor. To be a finger in the Emperor's fist was my purpose. I did not know what to do when it was denied to me. I reported my failing to the priest who had instructed me, informing him that my faith was not strong enough to accept the will of the Emperor as communicated to me by my superiors, and submitted myself to him for punishment.""Rather than reprimand me he asked what i would be willing to risk in order to serve the Emperor. When i told him i would willingly give my life, he offered me a chance. He altered the records to show that there was an additional male trainee. By disguising my gender behind my uniform i was able to serve. He informed me that if i was discovered i would likely be executed, and that if i was not i would be mistreated and then ejected dishonorably from the Korps, but i would not be deterred. With the help of the priest i entered a provisional regiment, which survived and was selected for the honor of fighting for the Emperor. We shipped out first to Kranadok, then here to Planetoid 14412567 alpha, and i have served the Emperor as Quartermaster, and now as Medicae"
>>50864344Having finished she fell silent. It took him a while to process what the Krieger had told him. He was stunned honestly. That she could have gone this long without detection seemed like a miracle, but she had, and now he needed to figure out what to do next. Technically, he should report this. She had enlisted under false pretenses, and there was probably a regulation against that somewhere, but that seemed pointless. She had made it this far, and was a perfectly fine soldier. She was a good medic, and had been a valuable addition to the squad. His regiment may not have been mixed gender, but he'd heard of mixed gender regiments. He was given to understand there were quite a few. The Krieger could soldier even if she had different plumbing, and If he reported her she'd be gone. The mental image of a Commissar putting the Medicae up against a wall and pressing a bolt pistol to her head decided it for him. She was part of his squad, and Rochus Brinkerhoff looked after his own. As long as nobody found out then there would be no harm done. The rest of the men didn't know, so it couldn't effect squad moral or performance. He'd just keep the Medicae's secret, and things could continue as they had been for the most part."To the best of my knowledge" He said slowly "There is no regulation against women serving in a Batavi regiment. I see no reason to report this, and no reason we can't just keep this between us." "Thank you sir" the Krieger said and released her hold on his arm, and then she spoke up again "Sir, may i ask you a question?"
>>50864378Out of habit he turned to face the Medicae without thinking first. "What?" He askedAs he turned she dropped down into a squat in front of him. Her face ended up inches from his enlarged member. As she lowered herself down she had spread her legs. Oh throne he could see everything. He felt his face heating up. Apparently unaware or uncaring of what she was showing him she cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips as she stared at his erection."What has happened to your genitals sir?" She asked "Is it a medical condition?"She reached out a hand towards him, but he shoved it away. "It is a perfectly natural and healthy biological function" He said quickly "which we will not discuss. Now i really must be going" As he turned and started to hurriedly walk away she said "Sir, did you not come here to use the showers? You have not yet washed, and there are many unoccupied showers you could use. I do not understand why you are leaving. There is more than enough room for both of us. Is something wrong?" "I think i'll wait till wash day after all" He called back over his shoulder. There was no way he was going back in there with her now, not after that last display. "Goodbye Medicae" He pulled on his pants as quickly as he could in the changing room, and ran out before even bothering to pull on his shirt.
>>50864389>>50864412Well i just stuck to what i had planned from the beginning. I had never intended there to be sex this early. I don't feel it would be realistic or reasonable honestly. When i said i was worried i'd start a storm it wasn't about how people would respond to the lewds (or lack thereof) , i was worried about something else, which i shall not name for fear that i would invite it in. I'm glad this works for you. I'm real appreciative of you being here in the thread, and of your advice.
>>50864412 bump for GEoM
>>50864423yeah. Honestly if I could have held over fans after what I did to them with "The Stray" what you are doing wont rustle anyone but impatient assholes
>>50862358Thanks for this :D
Right well good night, merry Christmas. See you all tomorrow. Hope you are all still enjoying it.
>>50864423Lewds appreciated with 40Keks. Continue after a healthy portion of meat, mead and whatever else you have for X-mas.
>>50864509>tfw I'd fuck GE's boipuss to multiple hands free orgasms>inb4 denials he'd love it
>>50794296Wonder if more Eversor Dad could be done. Takes his job raising a daughter very seriously. Owns a turtle because everything else is scared of him.
>>50864572I'm loving it, thanks for the updates. I will await more with bated breath
>>50864541you are welcome, there is more to come
>>50862358This is good, reminds me of a Ciaphias Cain novel.Do you think I forgot, God Emps? You never did the negative silhouette pattern on Kurzes armor like I asked for. Eh, it's alright, just happy you are okay, I remember that post about unpleasant times for you, I was earnestly concerned about your safety <3
>>50864423Honestly I really like how you have done it. I do want to know, is there a canon statement that there are no krieg soldiers? I always felt like krieg wouod care the very least about it, as unworthy soldiers would die in training, and the fit would be good soldiers no matter the gender. I get the need for reproduction, but still, they should have enough, or maybe send the less fertile to war. I guess it just bugs me because I like the idea of an entire population totally dedixated to fighting, with no reguard for the fairer sex that other planets may have. That and the whole "kriegers are birthed in a tube" thing.
>>50864789there are still unpleasent times, but no I don't think project primarch will ever be done.and thanks on the compliment. I need to actually go back and edit it heavily, an give it more exposition. right now its like looking at a pre-alpha screenshot.I have more polished work but its not 40k, but it is in the same setting as the Aeric and Dalia story
>>50864509The stray? I like how you write, is there some collection somewhere? I would be happy to have it all at my fingertips.
>>50865178I don't have the pastebin for it anymore. But it was about a drow assassin who had troubles coming to terms with her lifestyle, and took it out in drinking and trysts.I basically had the story going for a while and then left the story right as she was litteraly backstabbed. I left t alone for like a month just to fuck with people. The story didn't end happily either.Aeric and Dalia show up in it.
>>50865202I see. You are a bastard. Good job.
>>50862358Do you have any other pastebin lists? I want to start reading your stuff. Where is chapter 1-2?
>>50859077Yeah...I can see Krieger women being booty babes.
>>50865202Actually I believe the stray somehow made it's way to the 1d4chan smut archives.
>>50865155>there are still unpleasent timesWhat exactly is going on? Do you live in Ukraine/Balkans or something?
>>50867069>>50867069 Now but there was two of us, ones going though very tough times. Write fags is me, drawfag is having bad times I'm not going into. >>50865384http://pastebin.com/3EiqBuhmHere's chapter one of the story I am writinghttp://pastebin.com/YDHKgrkgChapter 1-2 of men of the 89th
>>50867982>:<>answers some questions, I wager
>>50867982Thank ya kindly.
>>50866577I found it actually The StrayEnjoy!http://pastebin.com/pq86m4Af
>>50865142So when i started this the first thing i did was read everything i could about Krieg. I like to do my research before i write something, and since the original purpose behind this was to make something that was closer to canon i wanted to be certain that i knew the canon. So i read Dead Men Walking, Down Amongst the Dead Men, and all the Imperial Armors about Krieg from forgeworld. So here is the canon as i understand it following my research.Honestly we aren't told that much about Krieg. The best description of life on Krieg in my opinion was given by the Commissar in Dead Men Walking, who had visited the planet. It scarred him emotionally. He described two things. First, was that the surface of Krieg was rife with trenches and consumed by war. With no other enemies to fight they kill each other as training, and to earn the right to fight for the Emperor. This account is corroborated by Down Amongst the Dead Men, which is about a soldier on the surface of Krieg who is selected as one of the targets in a live fire exercise. Basically he and some others are ordered to hold a city, and then another regiment of Kriegers comes in and fights and kills them. The second thing that the Commissar tells us, and i'm paraphrasing slightly, is that under the surface of Krieg he saw bunkers and tunnels full of blank faced dull eyed pregnant women shuffling around. We know from other sources that Krieg has a strict eugenics and breeding program. This is our best description of it. The impression i got from it was that they were treated like cattle, like breeding stock, which disgusted the Commissar.Cont
>>50870350Now, on to the Vitae womb or as you described it "Kriegers birthed in a tube". We don't know what it is, but we know it's function. The Vitae womb is used to supplement Kriegs birth rate to maintain it'sability to keep producing soldiers The Vitae womb is considered to be borderline heretical. It's use if forbidden everywhere but Krieg, and the Magos Biologis absolutely hates it. The only reason it is tolerated on Krieg at all is because it is absolutely necessary. Without it they would not be able to maintain production. Per canon, unless i misunderstood, the reason that they have and are allowed the Vitae womb ,is because their breeding program can't keep up with their losses without it.In light of this i believe that it is unlikely that the Death Korps would have female soldiers except under extenuating circumstances. Not because a female is incapable of being a soldier or dying for the emperor, but because a male is incapable of bearing children. In this instance it's not about what women can do, it's about what men can't. Every woman put in uniform is one less womb that will produce future soldiers for the Death Korps.Krieg is full on grim dark, to the point where it could possibly be considered grim derp. It is true it is never explicitly stated that there are no female soldiers in the Death Korps, and i have provided a reason i believe there would be some female soldiers, but based on the canon i think it is most likely that the overwhelming majority of soldiers in the Death Korps would be male, and that the overwhelming majority of the planet's females would go to the breeding program, because Krieg needs kids just that badly.
>>50870350>>50870391thats how its done, research and interpret
Bump and Merry christmas guys
>>50870350>>50870391As a long time Krieg Autist, I'd like to point you to the rates of sterility among Kriegers. That is well known and an important part of their lore, and radiation-based sterility isn't going to care for gender. More than likely, you would see sterile females in the Korps. The ratio would be mostly male, but they would be present.
>>50870391have your read the IA about the Kriegers? It had some good fluff
I move to name the Medicae Bob, because Blackadder.
>>50874594I approve of this name.
>>50873973Assuming by IA you mean Imperial Armours, in particular the Seige of Vraks, then yes i have read all of them. If there is a book i have missed please let me know. If there is a piece of canon you feel i have neglected, please let me know and we can discuss this. It was not my intent to go over everything, i just wished to provide a relatively concise answer to the question posed above.>>50873857Thank you very much for your response. I appreciate the input. I'm grateful. You are correct that there are Kriegers who are born or become sterile, and you are also correct that as it does not discriminate between genders it is possible that the sterile females are inducted into the Korps. This is a very reasonable and compelling interpretation which is not in any way incompatible with the story i am telling. It is entirely possible that within this story what you have proposed does indeed happen on Krieg, and if you wish there is nothing to stop you or anyone else from believing so. I am aware that the radiation on Krieg causes genetic and physical problems, which can include sterility. However while reading through the primary sources i did not get the impression that it was epidemic or even very widespread. My interpretation when i read through the IA and other sources was that those who did manifest such defects were likely targeted by the planet's eugenics program. I could be wrong, i could have misread it after all i'm not perfect, but that's what i thought when i went through and did the research. In any case it's not going to come up here. I'm not going to declare in the story that there are no female members of the Death Korps, and i didn't mean to give that impression. The Medicae's story is one anecdote, that's all. There is nothing to prevent us from having our own interpretations, but If there is a specific source or passage you think i missed or misinterpreted, please feel free to point out the book and page number to me.
>>50874659I like the idea of gentleman orcs
>>50864394He had trouble getting to sleep after he made it back to the dugout. While fortunately he was no longer imagining the phantom feeling of gore on his skin, unfortunately the sensations that had troubled him had been replaced with imaginings of a different but equally problematic nature. He struggled to banish them, but despite his best efforts the images would not leave him. He eventually fell asleep, but sleep did not provide release as the images followed him into his dreams. Therefore come morning he was tired, frustrated, and guilty. Along with the rest of the men he got up, geared up, ate quickly, and then headed for their post. The first half of their watch that morning did nothing to improve his mood. It was cold, and the duckboards were slick. When he slipped and his foot landed in the mud at the bottom of the trench he sunk up past his ankles into the muck. Even though he understood the necessity it was tedious to sit around and stare out over the no-man's land beyond the trench. And as the icing on the cake whenever he would pass the Krieger's position on his rounds to look and see if the men were still awake he'd find himself staring at her backside and imagining what it had looked like without the Greatcoat obscuring it. It was ridiculous. He wasn't some hormonal Juvie. He shouldn't be acting like one just because he was hard up. Rochus was grateful when they were relieved to eat lunch for the break in the monotony, though he wasn't much in the mood to socialize. He avoided eye contact and stayed silent as the men talked, and just concentrated on his food. He grimaced when he opened his MRE. He'd gotten "sausages" today as his main course. He looked at the withered cylinder of "meat" for a moment and debated eating it, before shrugging and popping it in his mouth. Food was food.About halfway through the meal the Medicae suddenly turned to Haanrath and said. "Corporal, may i ask you a question?"
>>50877035Oh god. She's gonna ask.
>>50877130Can't ask outright, that'd basically out her as not being a male, which she doesn't want to do, remember? She's gonna be oblique about it, ask something canny that answers her curiosity without giving away the secret.
>>50877130HYPEAlso i thought this image fit what happened in the trenches earlier
>>50877035>"Corporal, may i ask you a question?"
>>50877035The Sergeant smiled. The Medicae was opening up to the squad and interacting with them. This was good, it meant that his efforts to integrate her were working. "Well alright" replied the Corporal "What's the question?""I have observed that male genitalia are capable of growing considerably larger and becoming stiff such that rather than hang down they stand erect" Said the Medicae "However during my medical training we did not discuss this phenomena. Do you know why this happens? It happened last night, and i am concerned it may be an indication of the onset of an unknown medical condition" Oh no no no, dear Emperor no. This was not good. He could feel his Jaw drop, and across the circle Eikenborn choked and shot his rum ration through his nose. Alfons clutched at his face and moaned. "What?" Asked the stunned Corporal Haanrath"I have observed that male ge-" The Krieger began to repeat before Haanrath cut her off"I heard what you said" He said as he waved his hand in the air "it's just...how can you not know that?""As i said it was not covered during my medical education, or my instruction as a soldier." She replied.It was quiet for a moment then Ramaaker said weakly "Soooo no one ever told you about what happens between a man and a woman. You know, sex?" As he spoke he made a circle with the pointer finger and thumb of his left hand, and then he poked his right pointer finger through it. "I am not familiar with this word." said the Krieger "Is that the medical terminology for the phenomena which i described?""Well no" said Pender as he raised an eyebrow and looked over at Rochus "but it's definitely related"It was at about this point that Gelen threw a meaty arm over the Kriegers armored shoulders and said loudly "Ah, our boy's becoming a man." As he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye he pulled the Medicae closer and then leaned in and said with a smile on his face "Don't worry lad, i'll tell you everything you need to know."
>>50877188Dubs confirm cool pic.
>>50877772>>50864394So bit of advice.When you are using a pseudo character voice in the narration its good to denote that what is said is a paraphrased inner monologue, not the narrator itself.Imagine the narrator as a third character basically. It has its own voice and vocabulary. The characters have their own, so when you have exposition that involves the thoughts of another you offset it.With literal word for word thoughts I tend to treat it as a line of dialogue that doesn't start another paragraph. and offset it with apostrophes.Example:'Oh by the emperor this is happening!' he thought to himselfWhen you use it more as a general look into the characters mind and its not the word for word thoughs, a simple offset of , though he is decentExample:This can't be happening, he though to himself as....
>>50878162Thank you for the advice. I think i'm going to stop here for the night and pick back up tomorrow. Hope everyone had a good holiday, and that you enjoyed the update. Good night /tg/.
>>50877772Oh...oh god, those almost godly gets. This is what pure gold must be like.
>>50877772Just as a thought, you might want to elaborate on his panicI.E:(As the words left [her? Medicae? It was getting difficult to decide, now. ] Mouth, the Sargent felt the pull off the warp. It was the only explication he could find, a sensation as if the God-Emperor himself has risen from his holy golden throne to crush his very manhood, enacting Exterminatus Tratorus for their exposure to such a pure soul of his retinue. A chill settling in his stomach like a frozen emergency ration. Surely this was his punishment for failing, in something.)I don't know, prehaps I'm just blowing it out my ass, but I'm tired. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
>>50876006Original question asking anon here, didn't mean to start a hubub, I was just curious. Thanks for the reply.
we are close to autosage, just saying
The thread is dead, long live the thread>>50881479
>>50865202>>50865202That was a fucking atrocious way to treat your readers and "end" the story, don't think /tg/ will forget anytime soon