>>49896116
>The Necrons are this group of old people that sleep in really late.
>They bring actual guns.

>>49896151

More they are those assholes who mod there nerf guns and stick tacks into the darts

>>49896151

>The imperial guard use actual flashlights with red saran wrap over them

>>49896116
>the Orkz wished this into happening

Tyranids shoot water balloons and have corks on the end of their teeth/claws.
Eldar have disk shooters
Nurgle can only give you the sniffles, tzeentch can only make rabbits disappear and slaanesh gives one hell of a purple nurple.

>>49896116
>Eldar are no longer dying race
>Chaos are just those kids with the Nerf melee weapons that hit you really hard
>Orks always bringing their homemade nerf guns that shoot way too fast
>Ultramarines always email everybody where the nattles will be and what's allowed

Sounds really fun actually.

>>49896407

>The Imperium is just that group of friends that seems to include almost everybody
>Old Ones are just parents
>Tau are the new kids who moved into the neighborhood recently

>>49896497
Tau kids get fancy pre-western market nerf weapons, and all fight together and never drop their alliance unlike every other kid who's out for themselves.

Sisters of Battle are the local all-girls church group, who turn from polite little misses into fucking psychopaths once they get involved in the games.

>>49896497

>the guard are all the little midget younger brothers and sisters
>The marines are all the older siblings

File: tmp_21001-100084-nerf-n-s(...).jpg (140 KB, 1250x1073)

140 KB JPG

>>49896116
>that fuglyass bullpup abomination
>when nerf already makes what amounts to a bolt pistol.
Note: the darts are like four inches long. This thing's the size of your forearm.

File: splurt.gif (1.98 MB, 360x240)

1.98 MB GIF

>>49896116
Khorne Berserkers
Pool noodle in one hand, tomato sauce squirter in the other

>>49896116
That's some fucking kraut space magic.

>>49897509
>B-but Mike-
>COMMISSAR Mike!
>The big kids have nerf swords and armor! And they hit REALLY hard!
>You will hold the line, Billy!
>Screw this, Will, I'm leavin-
>*PIFF*
>Agggh right in the eye! Did you overclock your pistol??
>HOLD THE LINE, OR SUFFER MY WRATH!

>>49897737
>I have been that guy
I apologize for NOTHING!

>WH40k alt-universe where all the factions are various groups of kids living in lower-middle class suburbs.
>Nerf-warfare is the hottest trend, from the hordes of young kids in the suburbs to even the various types of delinquent teenagers in the ghetto part of town.
>Kids have neighborhood-based factions and put a lot of time and effort buying and modding nerf weapons and armor, from t-shirts labeled "flak" for the kids, to cardboard armor, to the bitchin'-ass foam and plywood armor that some of the shop-savvy teenagers make.

File: 181815419481.jpg (249 KB, 986x810)

249 KB JPG

>>49897891


IMPERIALS NEXT DOOR

PURGE THE UNCLEAN

File: 1 nerf gun stock pile.jpg (224 KB, 2048x1152)

224 KB JPG

Orks are armed with buzzbee and other such second rate guns, unreliable and clunky as fuck but plenty of moving parts!

Taus have the Boomco Line. Are all frustrated that they can't use any other darts from the other brands

>>49897891
I love it
Who are the Tyranids?

>>49897984
An annoying hornet's nest?

>>49897984
Asshole dogs who chew up everybody's darts.
Genestealer cults are pet owners who swear they're trained, honest!

>>49897965

Do you have a horde of small children or something anon? Your oddly prepared for this.

>>49898006
that's some college club's HvZ stock pile.

>>49897997
>Two groups of children battle in a small park, one clad in ridiculous boxy armor, one that appear to be covered in green paint.
>Suddenly, an armored child stands up, and is immediately shot with a dart by an orkish kid, who continues to shoot him despite him not playing dead.
>He listens for a time, then:
>"BEES!!!"
>The children panic and drop their plastic guns, attempting to escape the park before they are accosted by wasps
I love it.

>>49898039

....they do this in colledges?

where do i sign up?

>Boy Mack, we goin' after dat Yarrick kid again? Da one wot stole Ed's lucky glove?
>You don' know a good nerf foight 'til ya foight Yarrick!

>>49898058
It's called human's versus Zombies, GIve it a google. It's some good stuff, Lots of fun.

All you have to do is find a college that's playing it in your area and either
a] ask to join the game
or
b] enroll in that college.

File: NO FEMALE SPACE MARINES A(...).png (10 KB, 259x194)

10 KB PNG

>>49896116
>Now billy, you have to let your sister play.
>I'm not Billy, you heretic, I'm the God-Emperor!
>Well, I'm your mother, and I say you have to let her play.
>dammned tzeentch...
>What was that?
>Nothing. Fine, she can play. But she and all her stupid friends have to be in an army by themselves. They can't be in ours.

>>49898137

>Little did Billy know his sister had recently learned to use a lighter with a can of hairspray

>>49896116
why the fuck is the ejection port not aligned with the barrel. does whoever made that understand how guns work.

File: weeaboos.jpg (59 KB, 640x741)

59 KB JPG

>>49897891
>The Tau are literally just weeaboos

>Takes place in weird multinational, multiclass neighborhood.
>Imperium are various ages of kids, different groups of friends or family who share gimmicks and team up.
>Orks are young hooligans with a pechant for stealing other kids nerf guns and using ramshackle brands/mods (so not much different)
>Chaos are ghetto kids who fight each other as much as the Imperium kids and generally scare the shit out of everybody with their atittude
>Eldar are the rich kids - idk how to play the Fall of the Eldar right now
>DEldar are shitty rich kids who share a similar attitude to the Chaos kids
>Tau are foreign kids and their weeaboo auxilia friends who get access to bitchin' overseas market nerf guns
>Tyranids are any time a group of animals, like dogs, hornets, fire ants, or pigeons ruin a nerf match
>I'm not sure on Necrons. Maybe they're actually from a tech university and despite being in college like mowing down teenagers and kids with stupid OP custom nerf guns

>>49897891
>Attached: Footage of an Ork Warboss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh9OuB_U7VI

>>49898256
Dapper

>>49898204
It's just being accurate to the source material.

>>49898264
Necrons are their parents, who ignore dart hits and rise from the dead as it pleases them, and use their old pre-safety-standards dart launchers that leave dents in car doors.

>>49898058
First, learn to spell "college" correctly.

>>49898439
They remember the days when they were young and had nerf wars with the Old Ones.

>>49896116
>In the chipper, lighthearted future

>>49898264

Orks are the poor but scrappy kids who use everything from broken old nerf guns to rubber band launchers to spitball shooters to pingpong ball guns. Sometimes they just use clumps of dirt and green sticks.

Eldar are teens who still enjoy playing with nerf guns. There aren't as many of them, because most teens don't find nerf guns cool anymore, but the ones that do have a lot more experience than most of the kids and have a better grasp of the metagame.

Corsairs are the same, but typically the hotheaded asshole teens who simultaneously take the game too seriously but think that everyone else should take the game less seriously.

Dark Eldar are just emos, goths and other darkly-flavored social rejects from the teens who take out their pent-up aggressions on others to a scary degree. Sometimes they bully the younger kids into doing what they say.

The "Fall of the Eldar" was the teens' growing up and systematic loss of many players, whose interests were changed by puberty.

Necrons are old folks in the area, who use their old BB guns. Because they're adults, they usually manage to demand their weapons back if they get stolen. They act crotchety and incensed when kids step onto their lawns while playing, but the truth is that they really just want to regain some of their youth through the action. A lot of them are former veterans, so they know their shit.

Plasma weapons are water guns and garden hoses. Frag grenades are beanbags. Krak grenades are water balloons. Melta bombs are bottles of Coke you dump a pack of Mentos into. Flamers are silly string.

Artillery pieces are water balloon slingshots seesaws turned into catapults. Personnel carriers are basically a cardboard refrigerator box with arm holes cut out for each passenger.

Spacecraft are their parents' minivans and SUVs. Navigators are the kids who know how to talk their parents into driving everyone toother neighborhoods -screw up and the kids are late as they stop to run errands.

>>49899571
Emperor was that cool kid back in the day and Primarchs was his BFFs. Together they united whole neighborhood but until Horus got jealous about Emperor's new and VERY expensive toys and got into fight for it. Long story short, Horus no longer allowed to play, friendships ruined and Emperor is grounded for very long time. Or even move out from this neighborhood.

>>49898161
Nah, there the ones with super soakers?

I like this!

>>49897965
Dude I have some of those second rate Nerf Guns.

Those things are overclocked standard. It's great.

Tau
>there is only like few kids of them, so everybody always forget about them.
>everyone make fun of them, because once orks trick one of tau mother to drive them to one of tau base

>>49898055
>Walks into park wearing a beekeeper suit, beebox backpack, two boffer swords in hand and two more on belt
>IT IS I, THE SWARM LORD

File: Swarmbaus.jpg (178 KB, 1024x1365)

178 KB JPG

>>49902210

This is freakin' sweet. Especially if da boyz start making go-carts and soapboxes when one of them gets super into the idea of speed.

So wait, what would a crusade be like? Just a tidal wave of kids invading the neighbourhood? Wouldn't that be sort of dependent upon tons of moms getting their SUVs together for an invasion 'fleet'?

>>49903035
Exactly that. Or a field trip at a nearby school brings a shit ton of kids to near their neighborhood

>>49898871
>There is only fun

>>49897737
>The big kids have nerf swords and armor! And they hit REALLY hard!
I was at a summer camp and one of the camp employees dislocated my thumb with a nerf sword. Wasn't fun.

>>49896407
>>49896497
>>49897509
>>49899571
Someone fanfic this into existence

>>49903035 But who would be the emperor's champion in the black templars?

File: 1476163126625.jpg (69 KB, 684x692)

69 KB JPG

The Horus Heresy was when one of the Emperor's best friends, Horace, was tempted by the Chaos kids and his friend Aaron into using tacked darts, duct taping hard plastic into the swords, and such things. Half of the Imperial kids fell in with this line of thinking, and the battle consumed the neighborhood, until finally, the Emperor defeated Horace in an epic duel. While Horace was banished, grounded for all eternity, the Emperor suffered a most grievous broken leg as a result of the chaos-tainted blades, and is now confined to the Golden Wheelchair for all eternity. Or a couple months.

>>49902167
>the tau are the asian kids who take the game way too seriously
>they set up their army into four different groups, only one of which fights
>the air castes are the teens who can drive and like to drink sprite while watching the crazy shit go down
>the earth castes are the kids who actually research which guns to buy and how to modify them
>the water caste is just a bunch of kids who sneak and spy around but they're not effective at all because everyone knows who they are
>the fire caste are the only ones who actually do anything
>but they mostly hide in bushes and do ambushes
>The ethereals are the parents who encourage and micromanage all of this shit so their kids can learn new skills and for "greato honorabu samurai code"
>they all enjoy planning for the battle more than the actual battle
>the excessive planning means they either do great or get horribly BTFO, there's never been a middle ground
>they bring their dogs(kroot) to the matches and bring water ballons and slingshots
>panics whenever somebody peeks at their hiding spot
Am I missing anything?

>>49907343
Power armor is cardboard and such, and vehicles are go-karts and wagons, while cars are spaceships.

But what are battlesuits? Do they wear cardboard armor and moon-shoes? Roller-skates?

>>49907531
>But what are battlesuits?
An agile kid with a big gun sitting on the soulders of a fat and strong kid probably.

>>49907591
But that's too orky

>>49907591
Battlesuits are professionally cosplay costumes since the Tau kids are so rich.

>>49907343
>the tau are new on the block
>they think(rightly so) all the kids are crazy, and didn't want any part of the nerf war, but the ethereals forced them to participate
>they start enjoying it more as time goes on
I missed commander farsight.
>He and a gang of three others are the only asian kids that rebel against their parents often, they never get home by curfew
>They'll wait all night in a bush to get the drop on the guys in next battle
>Don't care who they're fighting, attacks every faction equally
>They make the rest of the kids look like scaredy-cats, eh close combats and doesnt afraid of anything
>all around bad motherfuckers
>>49907852
Oh shit, drones are a commercial thing now, aren't they?

>>49908127
Tau definitely would be rigging up drones to have nerfguns. Probably got one kid in charge of handling equipment and upgrading their guns, one in charge of drone flying, one who actually fights on the front lines with that air support, and one who tries to convince others to team up on another side in fights.

>>49908223
>drones with nerf guns
I don't think that's practical, they'd probably just use them to find out where everybody is.

But this is /funsetting/, not /srssetting/.

>>49908223
>Probably got one kid in charge of handling equipment and upgrading their guns

This is that one mad bastard who made all of those big badass battlesuits when he was supposed to be working on stealth technology, isn't it?

what if the emperor and the heresy was an event that happened a while ago? like back when the teen Eldar were still kids and the modern Imperium are the younger siblings and such of those from the great crusade era. This explains the emperor worship because it's them hyping up how great their big brother is


Like the idea of the heresy being half the Imperium kids taking on the underhand tactics of the chaos kids and it the final battle putting the emperor in a wheel chair.

>>49903035
>EMPEROR OF MAN IS HAVING A CRUSADES PARTY
>TRIBUTE WILL BE EXPECTED
>THERE WILL BE PARTY GAMES, WITH CAKE AND ICE CREAM AFTERWARDS

>ATTENDEES WITH PEANUT ALLERGIES WILL BE GIVEN CRACKERS

LACED WITH PEANUTS, FOR THERE WILL BE NO WEAKLINGS IN THE IMPERIUM OF MAN.

>>49898256
>tau use shitty homemade bokken

>>49896116
Who are the Techpriests?

>>49910568
Those kids who have imaginary friends and think everything have some sort of soul, they also happen to be very good at fixing people broken shit by watching DIY videos on their expensive computers.

I'm Malaysian, born in 1979. I grew up in a small village and we literally had these battles as kids but with fireworks and BAMBOO CANNONS (google it) during the 1980's, back before the gubmint banned them. The adults were in it too.

The "war" begins on the eve of Eid celebrations. All of the kids in my village muster at the village football clearing. We pool our firecrackers (grenades and demo charges), those "wands" that shoots balls of fire (rifles) and whistlers (rockets). We distribute the munitions and form into platoons of 5 or 6 kids. The adults would set up bamboo cannon batteries of 3-10 cannons propped up on fences.

At dusk, the barrage begins. The bamboo cannons have no projectiles but made very loud BOOMs since it uses carbide and water as propellant. Soon, you will hear counter battery fire from the neighbouring village, which is separated by a bridge across the Kinta river. The barrage signals our advance. Platoons of kids sneak through bushes and mango trees towards the bridge.

I was usually the platoon's rocketeer. We also have 3 wands and 2 grenadiers. Not suprisingly, the kids from the next village were also the advance. Battles usually start by grenadiers lobbing their firecrackers at the enemy which then counters by using the wands. There were pitched battles at the bridge until one side manages to push across.

As rocketeer, I functioned more as a sniper or mortar, attacking from afar. I had these rockets called Thunderclaps which makes BOOMs almost as loud as the bamboo cannons. Battles will rage to and fro until one side advances into the other's enemy village. There the true mayhem begins as close quarters combat rages around houses. You can no longer tell friend from foe and frequently end up alone. The war ends around midnight when everyone runs out of ammo or were just too tired.

In the 1990's the Malaysian government banned firecrackers and bamboo cannons due to too many kids blowing off their fingers.

I want more of this, god damn.

bump

>>49907063
The Black Templars would be the kids who try too hard at everything.

Imperial Fists would be the kids who build the cardboard and plywood walls.

Space Wolves are the kids who love dogs/wolves

Ultramarines are the kids who think they are best at planning strategy

Salamanders are the kids who like firecrackers.

>>49912582
Blood Angels are the kids that watch all those teen vampire shows

Dark Angels are the edgy but not quite chaos edgy kids

Inquisitors are the kids with racist parents

>>49912644
Blood Ravens are those kids that stole money from their parents to buy things.

File: penny arcade-nerf.jpg (1.26 MB, 1948x1293)

1.26 MB JPG

>>49912582
>The Black Templars would be the kids who try too hard at everything.
They're the kids who pistol-whip the other players.

>>49912671
Iron Warriors is that one kid who broke his leg a few weeks ago

White Scars are all the kids who got new bikes for christmas

>>49912730
>Why you guys always beat up on the Tau kids all the time but you hang out with those BMX-obsessed Mongolian kids?
>Idk, they've just always been in the neighborhood. The Tau kids are a bunch of newmeat sissies.

OP here, this thread has already succeeded beyond my wildest dreams and sounds like it needs to be made into a miyazaki movie

>>49912780
>Angry Chinokoreojapanese shouting about the greater good, unity and the ethereals
>Hail of fucking nerf darts out of goddamn no-where and carefully-planned assaults
>Tau kids run for the cars as soon as a counter-attack is organised

>Yeah, that's the OTHER reason I hate them!

>>49912832
Not a Miyazaki movie- this is all a spinoff of one of Calvin and Hobbes' adventures. The Emperor was Calvin and it takes place 10,000 years in Spaceman Spiff's future.

Obviously, Hobbes = Horus

>>49912841
>Space Wolf kid crying
>Tau kid's parents cooked his dog

Too far?

>>49912891
i burst out laughing man no way

>>49912644
>>49912582

>Salamanders are an African american family that has been in the neighbor hood for a long damn time, and their house hold community bonfires and stuff, one of the more friendly people in the community.

> Growing up watching the fire every Saturday has made the kids LOVE pyrotechnics, and during the battles they use anything that explodes and glows bright.

>The Inquisitors parents are super fucking racist, but kinda like the salamander's family, albeit still suspicious, the children are the same, but bond over burning shit, and throwing incendiaries at the inner-city kids that occasionally wander into the neighborhood at night.

>>49913047
>Crimson fists are from the rich Mexican family down the road
>They absolutely hate the redneck kids (orks) who build shit out of scrap and junk

>>49913140
As an aside, Since we don't want to be dealing with Every possible chapter being it's own family, maybe the space marine chapters and individuals, from their own parent legion?
The Primarchs were their own, since that's established.
The non-primarch legions are just kids of a similar vein who joined, like the blood ravens, it's just one klepto kid who joined up.

I so wanna see this as a cartoon in the same style as Ed, Edd, and Eddy.

>>49913219
Oh god, I fucked that up.

I mean, The Primachs were the first twenty, And the Space marines were the siblings,
Imperial Fists were the Sibling who was just like his brother.
Black Templar was the one kid in the family who listens to too much metal, and Runs around screaming Man-o-War songs on the field whacking people with his over-sized nerf sword.

Etc.

>>49913253
Yeah makes more sense. I think we all just got a little carried away making fun of stereotypes

>>49913253
As in each Chapter is ONE child? I was considering that but then you lose the opportunity to have certain kids be like special characters. Unless you want that to only be the rule for the Space Marine kids.

>>49913245
Dude, KND

>>49913427
Yeah, Space marines Chapters are maybe one kid, Not sure how SM special characters fit into it.

Guard are groups of smaller kids but are organized.

Cadians are some kids who are good setting up big cardboard defenses, and are the first house from where the chaos guys live.

Catachans live on the very edge of town, and grew up listening to their Ole Uncle Sly talk about vietnam.

Mordian are some kids who really like the revolutionary war, and fire in lines.

I don't wanna see what Krieger Children are.

>>49899571
Who're the Harlequins?

>>49913554
8th Grade Drama Geeks.

>Older
>Go around performing for people
>Have access to some better weaponry because they're older
>Cegorach is the Drama Teacher

>>49913588
Cegorach has fun with the students.

>>49913616
Who are the Chaos Gods?

This is probably going to get sorid with the birth of slannesh,

>>49913500
>I don't wanna see what Krieger Children are.

Ze Germans

>>49913637
Chaos gods are the shitty parents who dont care about their shitty kids, hence why chaos

>>49913643
the little kids here on holiday with the relatives.
born in 1920s

>>49913643
>
No No, That's the Armageddon steel legion, who are super good at making tanks out of cardboard, and junk. Because German Engineering is the best in the world.

Kriegers are something else.

Something SEVERE.

File: StroheimCyborg.png (1.03 MB, 996x500)

1.03 MB PNG

>>49913671
Forgot pic.

>>49913637
Each of them are teachers from the school.

>Khorne is the P.E. Teacher. Dodgeball every other day
>Tzeentch teaches Language Arts. The Language changes every day.
>Nurgle teaches cooking. Uses LOTS of greasy stuff.
>Slaanesh is the 'guest speaker'/ counselor for health classes during the sex ed unit

>Birth of Slaanesh was a big High School Freshman party gone super wrong. Drugs and sex happened and lots of teens got sent to prison.

>>49913671
>>49913662
>>49913643
Wait.
Kriegers are the orphan kiddies who the regulard guard kids try to cheer up.
they have some toys, guard kids loan them some guns.

Nobody can wait like they can.

>>49913693
This then

Who can the autistic kids be? I'm thinking they can be the tyranids
raptor arms and screeching

>>49913708
>/
raptard screeching. heh.

Id say yeah

>>49913715
I mean as kids we all ran away from the retarded kids so it makes sense

>>49910675
>civil war on catachan
Awesome story

>>49913749
It even makes sense with their tard hivemind

File: 1474146320648.jpg (61 KB, 836x955)

61 KB JPG

>>49913500
Krieger children are the ones with older siblings that play airsoft, and they're jealous as hell so they go as hard as they can in the hopes that their siblings will think they're cool enough to play airsoft, or something else with kiddy logic like that behind it.

>>49913791
We can merge this with the environmental hazard idea we had earlier where a sperg kid leads a swarm of bees into the airsoft fight screaming about how he's the swarmlord.

File: MECHANICUS.jpg (377 KB, 1280x800)

377 KB JPG

The Imperium also holds one Mormon Family.
Everyone else is a little weirded out by their religion, but don't care, because their parents buy them lots of Equipment to share, and they have strange sources of the Holy Material of war, High Thickness Cardboard.

A Pair of the kids once managed to construct a Titan out of the holy material.

Their mother is also really supportive, and is the usual person to haul kids around in her massive minivan.
They also all were red for some reason.

Anything else the kiddy mechanicum should do?

>>49913819
Im picturing it and dying.
>runs into a Space Marine and Tau fight just starts lobbing chunks of bee's nest screaming "I AM THE SWARM LORD FEAR ME"
"Jesus Christ dude what the hell!"

>>49913853
Definitely fucked that one up but you all get what I meant

What are Psykers then? I am drawing blanks on ideas here.

File: 1463501547047.jpg (130 KB, 930x1600)

130 KB JPG

>>49913918
That One Autistic Kid who screams JUUSSSTTTT right to scare the shit out of everyone against them?

>>49913918
Nerds.
They love books and really obscure things. That's how i reason it.

>>49913918
Stoners. Drunken-master nerf skillz.

>It's a gateway drug, kids.

>>49898161
>>49900310
>Despite Billy's reluctance, the Neighbourhood of man would be greatly bolstered by Susy and her Little Sisters of battle.

>>49913918
Kids with hippy parents going on about astrology and crystals and spells and shit?

>>49913918
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ekugPKqFw

>>49913918
The kids with weird, half functional weapons, that, when they work will mow down half a team. When they don't though, you're going to be sitting in the out box for awhile.
>>49913851
They improve and fix the imperiums nerf weapons. You give one to the mormon kids and a couple days later you get it back and it works better than before.

>>49913946
I think oddballs who play the psycological angle. Spooky traps, out of left field weapon use, bizzare noises.

File: 5012ebb9d75586a1250e89f1f(...).jpg (727 KB, 789x1169)

727 KB JPG

>>49914080
Their surname is of course, Browning.
It's how they have so much shit to give away.

>>49914151
Someone said that the Remington family has been helping those chaos kids.

File: The Orphange Kids Fend of(...).png (9 KB, 572x434)

9 KB PNG

>>49914123
That's More the Night lords shtick, who are also probably WAY into batman.

Psykers need to be something else other than physiological warfare.

>>49914174
> Gun Companies are financing this entire neighborhood of kids with Dart Guns and Ammo, because of other Gun Companies doing the same.
> Black cat and other firework companies give shit to the Salamanders.
>This spirals out of control, and now corporate warfare is exclusive done in this neighborhood, and the kids don't even know it, just occasionally people in vans show up, talk to their parents, and they get a load of Ammo/Guns/ Explosives.

File: IMG_0078.png (772 KB, 536x600)

772 KB PNG

What are daemons

>>49914263
Special Education and other malformed abominations like migits and conjoined twins.

>>49914263
Chaos kids older/younger siblings. The older ones can drive, and that's what makes them terrifying. Whole firebases will be ransacked by mini vans filled with chaos siblings, who can coordinate assaults via the power of texting.

>>49914229
I wasn't going to go that far.

>>49914293
Not meant to be >Cannon.
I just thought this as a different situation was hilarious.

File: MATT DAAAAAAAAAAMON.jpg (51 KB, 486x373)

51 KB JPG

>>49914263
This is a Damon

Alpha Legion
>Older kids who remember how much fun they had back in the day
>Continually swap sides to ensure that things stay interesting for the younger kids
>Supply the elementary school kids with weapons, tactical guidance so they can stand up to the middle schoolers
>never stick around long enough to claim credit, or get caught by the inquisition kids
>absolutely love some terrible memes

File: dart-shooting-sniper-rifle.jpg (113 KB, 650x468)

113 KB JPG

Sly Marbo in the hood... he's out there, somewhere and everyone suddenly needs to go for a poo

>>49914588
Jorge isn't to be fucked with. That man is to airguns what a thermonuclear bomb is to a hand grenade.

>>49913047
Plot twist, both the inquisitors and the salamanders' parents are in the klan but they never recognize each other(because of the hoods).

Speaking of not recognizing, could the alpha legion even be implemented in this setting?
>>49914381
Nevermind then, anon always delivers.
>>49913680
>So Emperor, who were those jackasses?
>AH YES, THEY'RE THE FOLLOWERS OF CHAOS
>W-what? Why did you give them that cool of a name and not us?
>BECAUSE THEY'RE DORKS AND YOU'RE NOT
>That doesn't make sens-
>SHUT UP AND I WILL TELL YOU THE PROPER NAMES TO CALL THEM WITHOUT DRAWING THEIR ATTENTION
>THEIR NAMES ARE HARD-ASS, LARD-ASS, PINK-ASS, AND SMART-ASS
>DO YOU KNOW WHICH IS WHICH?
>Y-yes Emperor.
>GOOD. THE FOLLOWERS OF CHAOS ARE ALL KISS-ASS TO EVERY ASS I JUST MENTIONED. THEY ACT LIKE THEY GOT CHEST HAIR WHEN IN FACT THEY'RE ALL WHIPPED LITTLE BROWN-NOSERS THAT KISS ASS SO THEY DON'T GET SENT TO THE PRINICIPAL'S OFFICE

>>49914701
> The black parents kids were in the klan.

Can confirm, did happen in some of the more liberal Klan chapters.

My grandfather and a black friend of his were in the Klan together, they still sit around on the porch of eithers house yelling at "Niggers", the irony is never lost on them.

>>49910675
That's so fucking cool, anon, thanks for sharing!

>>49913643
krieger kids arent allowed to play anymore, using chemical warfare was a litle bit to muchfor some parents

>>49910568
NEEEERRRRRDS.

To be exact, nerds with a nigh-autistic respect for the manuals that come with Nerf weapons. Alas, such remnants of the Dark Age of Christmas Gifts were lost during the Age of School, so they try and collect what few fragments they can from across the neighborhood's scattered garages, abandoned hideouts, and bookcases.

File: image.jpg (125 KB, 509x581)

125 KB JPG

>>49910675
Canons, you could launch tennis balls from them.

My friends used to make cannons out of beer cans, you could cut the top s and bottoms to make a long tube (longer the better), poke a hole at the
Bottom to shoot but and in and make a stopper some where in the tube to position the ball.

Then you filler up then light it off. For a safer endeavor you could launch paper balls with less fluid.

You wouldn't happen to be this Malay would you?

>>49916498

>poke a hole at the bottom as a filler hole for butane is what I meant to say...

what would the astartes be ?

>>49913708
Ultramarines.
>Muh codex.

>>49913791
Autists argue with each other all the time. It's why rpg groups often have a '1 sperg rule' - they're just too stubborn to be reasoned with.

>>49898505
End you're life

>>49913643
They're the ones who figured out how to use their 'dead' friends as meat shields

File: magic pain glove.webm (422 KB, 1920x1080)

422 KB WEBM

>>49916981
>end you are life
why live?

>>49917377
My bad, I should have said;

End, you're life.

File: PURGETATIC.webm (1.51 MB, 800x450)

1.51 MB WEBM

>>49917390
HERESY

>>49917377
Kill yours elf

>>49913918
The kids who duct tape flashing led lights on their guns.

File: carlos.jpg (19 KB, 500x367)

19 KB JPG

>>49913918
>Psykers
>drawing blanks

>>49897592
It shoots like a motherfucker too! You'd expect it to be a low powered gimmick, but it works pretty well all things considered.

>>49903035
>So wait, what would a crusade be like? Just a tidal wave of kids invading the neighbourhood? Wouldn't that be sort of dependent upon tons of moms getting their SUVs together for an invasion 'fleet'?
SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOL'S OUT
FOR
SUMMEEEEEEEEEER

>>49897592
I was shot with it the other day. Not as painful as you'd expect, all things considered.

>>49913918
Psykers are the kids with asthma or other illnesses that prevent them from running, but since their parents insist that their siblings include them, they're allowed to make stuff up. Like they can raise their hands to make an everything proof shield, or shout out lightning while pointing at someone to blast them.

>>49919687
And to think one day mankind will be a fully psychic race.

>>49903035
Everyone calls their big invasion into other territories something different. The orks call it waaaghs(they happen most frequently), the tau calls it expansion(boring), the imperium calls them crusades, the eldar just don't, chaos calls them black crusades(one of the reason the imperium hates them so much, the edgy copycats), and tyranid swarms happen every time the special ed kids arrive home from a field trip.

For everyone except the orks(they go whenever & wherever they please) and tyranids, all the crusades really are is their extended family coming over for a cookout or whatnot and joining their big battle.

>>49912582
>Salamanders
>Crackers

>>49902242
>You're a big tyranid

>>49907531
Full hockey gear

>Ork kids don't do nerf, they wield electric-screwdriver powered minigunz cuz dose shoot da fastest.

>>49913918
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oWAb5NVALw

>>49914123
>bizzare noises.
I'm imagining that MMEEEEEEEH noise hunters make to stop deer.

>no one posted this yet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25TLbS5r5J0

>>49906789
Abaddon is a jerk, right?

>>49899782
The Emperor was grounded for life. Some say he'll get out of the Time-Out Corner one day, but no one's holding their breath.

>>49924619
now if only it cut off when the song ended instead of doing the whole thing over again with no audio.

>>49912719
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUi8Dv73hA&ab_channel=ozisponas

>>49924735
I prefer the idea of him being wheelchair bound, and maintaining the wi-fi all the kids use to coordinate attacks.

>>49926409
I don't know about that - if he's wheelchair-bound now, it implies he wasn't always, which adds a bit of darkness back into the setting.

>>49926489
depends on why he's wheelchair bound, if he went out in a valiant fight, sacrificing himself for a victory, it's still fun and childish.

What I'm thinking is he jumped off a short cliff and landed funny while firing a shot that ended a battle.

>>49926489
Crusading is srs business.

>>49926549
Maybe his younger brother Horus pushed him, and he's the one who got grounded forever?

>>49926666
satanic quads confirm it

>>49913792
>Hey, we can't have airsoft guns, that sucks
>We need to up our game to stay competative
>Make Pepper Spray
>Ask to play with older siblings
>They say to fuck off
>Use spray bottle cayenne against kids with nerf guns
>How the Salamanders got their red eyes

>Karl was always a problem child
>but it was when he set fire to the wooden playground in the middle of a winter nerf fight that his parents started to really think there might be something wrong with him.
>His new nickname is ubiquitous among his former friends now

what about non founding or second founding chapters? like Lamenters and Blood Ravens and minotaurs

>>49927170
Cousins and second cousins of the first founding chapters.

>>49910666
Checked.

>>49914080

Reason they can fix shit is because they're all used to making do with hand me downs from their older siblings and repairing that what they have since by the time the xth kid came around the parents said. Fuck it, no more toys.

>>49926489
Fucking hell, lots of kids break something growing up. There's nothing dark about that, grow a spine.

>>49930686
It's grimdark 4kids

File: 2dtnkig.jpg (22 KB, 377x507)

22 KB JPG

>>49896116
>the tyranids cuddle you endlessly instead of eating you
>they drag you off to a pit full of rippers who lick your face like a swarm of excited dogs.
>genestealers start practicing monogamy (but still have a billion babies)

>>49931677
Welp, time to fly directly into the nearest tendril.

>>49908582

You, you I like

>>49897509
> Sister of Battle is a Marine's sister he's got to babysit for the day.
> Everyone goes easy on her, right up until she tackles someone and starts firing point-blank and making flamethrower noises.

>>49912874

you, I like you

>>49912582
>The Black Templars would be the kids who try too hard at everything.
nah they just charge in a start walloping everyone with foam swords because they are absolute lunatics

>>49913500
>I don't wanna see what Krieger Children are.
Asthmatic

>>49896205
that's good
good as a premise to many althammers

>>49915791
Precisely, and although they are normally more concerned with gadgets and books, when they are suitably pissed off they will unleash some serious firepower from the great Engineering and Science Students of Mars.

>>49896116
GW can really use this idea to interest kids in WH40k. Imagine all of those nerf bolters and storm bolters, autocannons and disk shooters. Battery powered chain swords with foam teeth would also look great. Instead gw still continues it's boring ways instead of introducing a good innovative change. That's quite sad.

>>49933232

>No fun allowed detected

>>49930686
Most aren't in a wheelchair forever.

>>49935058
The Emperor nerfed harder than you could have ever dreamed.

>>49935230
>What's he doing, now that he isn't nerfing?
>I heard he's grounded for life
>nuh uh that's impossible
>I heard he's occupying most of the Chaos kids by playing online shooters with them

>>49914672
Now i'm really curious. You have a link or something?

>>49919687
I can confirm, i was one of those when i was little

>>49935457
https://www.youtube.com/user/JoergSprave

>>49901503
When I was a counselor in training aty summer camp we took a camping trip and stopped at walmart. We picked up 2 sniper rifle offbrand guns and good lord did they shoot well.

>>49898439
>old pre-safety-standards dart launchers
I'd say Red Ryder BB guns sound more accurate.

Primarchs:
Rogal Dorn - kids who really, really loves camping and making forts. Also he was very strictly educated and he can't lie. Ever.
Leman Russ - that kid who brags about he drink a beer. He may not like it taste, but everybody thinks he cool.
Vulkan - That cool black kid. He made a his own foam weapons and for his bros. Rumored to healing very first.
Sanguinus - Pretty boy. Wearing wings all the time.
Guilliman - a very stuck kid. A school's halls monitor and favorite teacher's pet.
Khan - a weird mongoloid kid with a custom BMX.

>>49913500
>Old Uncle Sly

FUCK. YES.

>>49912891
Grimdark!

>>49913851
>John Moses Browning was a Mormon
>Ma Deuce is still in use in 40k
>Mormon kids are tech priests

This is fucking perfection.

>>49919687
This works surprisingly well.

And you have that really nice kid who's slow as hell, but fights like a demon in melee, and you get Ogryns.

>>49907218
>Emperor suffered a most grievous broken leg and is now confined to the Golden Wheelchair for all eternity. Or a couple months.
This is best take on Emps, he's out for maybe 8-10 weeks after falling off the wooden castle in the playground during the EPIC DUEL against Horace, but the kids are already telling rumors he might never come back, because two months is an eternity to a kid.
>I heard he's going to have to be in the wheelchair forever!
>I heard they might have to cut the leg off!
>Has anybody even seen him since April?
>I think he's getting worse, not better!
>I heard his mom won't let him play anymore even if he gets better!

>>49936330
Go to bed, Ralphie

>>49936801
>he was undisputably the leader of the Imperium group of middle-middle class kids
>everyone talks him up like some kind of hero
>party meets him
>he really is that good but he's super humble
>gets mad when he hears what some of the latent bullies of the group are getting up to

File: 1462340239688.jpg (11 KB, 250x250)

11 KB JPG

This thread is proof that /tg/ is the best board on 4chan. Just a comfy thread with literally ZERO(0) shitposting.

>>49898264
Necrons are those dicks that show up with paintball guns.

>>49937184
>Emperor's dream was to gather up all the good nice kids to do battle against the weirdos from other neighborhoods
>but half of the local kids turned out to be rotten bullies and they became archenemies of the good kids
>now that Emps isn't there to keep everyone nice even the good kids are squabbling and some are beginning to act dickish
>most are genuinely good though but without him around, their personal flaws and failings come out, like Gil and Manny Roboute (their family are latinos) who need some kind of authority so when Emperor isn't there, instead use everything they remember him saying and doing as unbreakable rules, or Russell Lemon who just barks at everybody half the time and pretends to be a dog (he can't have one because his mom is allergic)

>Greater Daemons are the college age siblings of a handful of chaos players
>Only show up rarely, but usually win battles single-handedly

>Bloodthirster is a buff dude in army reserve
>Sometimes shows up to watch his little sister play, though if she starts crying when things get to rough, he jumps in
>charges forward, ripping up defenses and picking up weapons to go after the enemy
>Once they're gone though, he gets swept up in things and decides to turn on the chaos players as well
>battle usually ends with only him and his little sister left, gives her a pat on the head before letting her claim victory for Khorne

>Keeper of secrets is a rather cute college girl, does track & field
>Is also a notorious gossip and tease
>Sprints behind enemy lines, spooks younger kids with threats of cooties while older ones look on slack-jawed
>any resistance is met with whispered threats to tell their parents about a bad thing they did
>Usually results in all the defenders fleeing or surrendering
>Only does this to end the game so she can pester her little brother

>Great unclean one is a fat neckbeard, rarely bathes
>his parents insist on him getting out of the hous and watching his younger siblings and cousins
>Will often simply sit himself down in a chokepoint and refuse to move
>Sets up a fan to keep himself cool, has the side effect of blowing stench across the battlefield
>often followed around by his youngest cousins, snot-nosed toddlers with a habit of drooling in anything they can stick in their mouths
>he'll lazily send them off to hassle enemies, often resulting in guns and ammo stocks being rendered unusable
>Barely tolerated even by chaos players, but he puts up a very strong defensive bulwark

>Changeling is a small-town actor and an expert at disguise
>has a grand time dressing in various outfits and messing with the games
>gives wrong directions for those in pursuit, or says the game is postponed so they show up late

Necrons resist their tricks due to age

>>49938331
What about lords of change?

>>49938331
>Great unclean one is a fat neckbeard
Really we should just start referring to neckbeards as Great Unclean Ones in general. At least the really bad ones.

>>49938367
Ill be honest, I was running out of room and ideas for Tzeentch, so I just went with Changling

I'm open to suggestions

>>49938448
tzeentch runs the nerf shop and fuels this entire war

>>49910568
The Adeptus Mechanicus are a small and secular part of the neighbourhood of Man. They have a small collection of old, extremely powerful nerf guns from the days before safety regulations. They can never buy more of them, and there are no replacement parts.

>>49938604
>the neighbourhood of Mann.
Fixed. Emp's surname is Mann. if his first name is Hugh I swear to god

My father used to tell me stories of how he and his friends would run around an old junkyard full of sharp, rusty pieces of metal and shoot at each other with air rifles.

Amazingly, they only shot one guy dead.

>>49938587
Brilliant!

>>49938614
Are we also assuming all those church girl sisters of battle think he's really cute and they all have a crush on him?

>>49938631
I need this story.
>>49938683
Well only some of the SoBs are church girls, and those definitely have crushes on him because he's "damaged and I can fix him". He's actually perfectly fine, psychologically speaking - his support network is, understandably, pretty adept at handling his issues given how large it is.

The rest are just tomboys.

>>49938084

>Magnus LaRouge is this nerdy ginger of mixed French and Egyptian descent who broke the Emperor's fence and got in trouble for it

Drawfag here I'm going to do some faction

The orks originally called themselves "The Hawks", but their battlecry of "hawks, hawks, hawks, hawks", was misheard by everyone else, and then it stuck.

I wanna see them do drivebys in huge but rickety boxcars driven by younger siblings on pedals and in hamster wheels.

>>49938925
I'd like to see Stompas that are just cobbled together siege towers with a bunch of machinegunners sitting around it with one dude operating big nerf sword arms

>>49939117
Eh, Titans and Stompas seem a bit too grand of a scale for this.

At best I could see them welding together some shopping carts and taping on some cardboard for a Battlewagon

>>49899571
>Orks are the poor but scrappy kids who use everything from broken old nerf guns to rubber band launchers to spitball shooters to pingpong ball guns. Sometimes they just use clumps of dirt and green sticks.
GOAT
When one of them actually gets a real NERF gun for his birthday, the others get all starry eyed and mumble about "dakka".
Then the lucky kid tapes a pingpong launcher to it so he can have more dakka.

>>49939275
>Other kids sometimes bribe Orks to help them in fights by offering them some of their old guns
>This works, until the Orks get bored and turn on both sides.

File: IMG_20161025_001909.jpg (1.15 MB, 1920x2560)

1.15 MB JPG

>>49939275
Will be doing this idea but now behold the commissar Billy !
That's some rough sketch I made right now

>>49939350
octarius war when

>>49938925

The Hawks are prone to arguing amongst themselves over who should be the groups leader. They fight over who steers the truck constantly, which often leads to nasty scrapes and falls, but they always seem to be able to bring extra family members along to operate the nerf guns or their bigger slingshots.

>>49939406
Weren't pyramids just supposed to be any random wildlife that interrupted a match, or has that changed?

Hard to have endless biological warfare in this anyway.

>>49939390
He looks adorable. If some kid came up dressed as a commissar on Halloween, I'd give him an extra handful of candy.

>in college dorm so this can't happen ;_;

>>49939461
Eh, I thought nids were the tard brigade. It'd certainly be easier to set up

>>49913952
>Neighbourhood of man
love it.

>>49938367
How about some history nerd that teaches everyone secretely in order to reenact famous battles and strategies ?
You think he's on your side, but he's just playing you, he's here for the beauty of the battle.

>>49939406
The Octarius Wars are just teens who used to be part of the Ork and Tyranid factions, who developed a special rivalry and are now pretty much just playing Robot Wars among themselves with increasingly ridiculous bots.

Everyone makes sure the nerf war stays the fuck out of that one yard, because no one wants to be set on fire or buzzsawed.

>>49939484
Feels kinda off. Tricky to have tyrants swarm numbers with something that should be more rare.

I feel like retarded kids work better as Ogryn. Tyraniss need to be something wild and numerous that causes both sides to pause and realize what the real threat is.

>>49939446

The Hawks have also acquired a nasty reputation of stealing other kids billy carts and covering it in their own kustom paint jobs.

You will usually see a billy cart overloaded with either too many nerf guns or members of the group.

>People actually referring to them as Hawks
What have I done? Please stop.

>>49938614
GENIUS

>>49939545
Cats and Dogs
Maybe swarms of crickets too.

Nothing too dangerous, but certainly scary in the mind of children, to an extent that doesn't endanger the game.

>dog grabs Bobby and drag him back to his house because she wants to play.
>A canifex got the farseer !
>Don't pursue, warlock. He put up a good fight, but it's too late to save him now.
Meanwhile, Bobby is getting his face licked mercilessly.

>>49939163
Ork kids ride on each other's shoulders and bulk up in cardboard armor, flailing around nerf swords.

>>49939689
>Swarmlord is just a nice lady from the animal shelter who brings a bunch of animals to play with the kids in the park

I can get behind this

>>49939725
You obviously can't shoot at the animals, making them an indomitable and tireless enemy.

>>49939755
Yeah. Even any edgy chaos players who try just get in trouble with the lady and by extension their parents.

It simply becomes a matter of sacrificing men and trying to flee

File: IMG_20161025_004612.jpg (951 KB, 2560x1920)

951 KB JPG

>>49939651
The idea is cool, I'm using it

>>49938084
What about Lorgar and the ministorum?
What if the Emperor didn't want any religion in the nerf war, which made Logan side with Horace because "you shouldn't speak badly of the Lord like that", and after the emperor left some christian kids decided to spice up things with pseudo biblical lore, to demonize their opponents and make themselves look better.
And then the litle sisters came and joined them, misinterpretating the emperor as a Jesus allegory.

Speaking of SoB, I could really see them as scout girls, with the Fleur de Lys, hymns and love of fire.

I have to sgo leep now, but this was really fun, thanks /tg/.
Someone should archive this at sup'tg.

File: IMG_20161025_010012.jpg (1005 KB, 2560x1920)

1005 KB JPG

A nerdy Tech-Priest

>>49939983
Eh, I feel like bringing religious disputes into it is kinda off.

Instead, what if Emps wanted everyone to be doing a more cool sci-fi tactical thing, but Lorgar wanted to play up the fantasy aspects? Him and Magnus were the ones to suggest the idea of psykers and sorcerers.

When the argument got fierce, they split off to form chaos with some of the other head kids, and eventually Emps and Horus had their big showdown.

Of course, being that they both did it with swords while wearing armor, the fantasy aspects stuck in everyone's minds in the aftermath.

Still a dispute that fits their mindsets, and still ends up with Lorgar getting the last laugh

>>49939983
This thread will live on, we just need to find a comicfag like MrCulexus and this will be set

>>49940080
>mech arms are just shit sticking out of his backpack
Genius

>>49940142
>Lorgar
You mean Logan ?
>>49940165
Thank you

>Battlenerf Gothic
Fighters and bombers are kids sitting on pool noodles. They blow in one end of the noodle to shoot "Torpedoes" at other fighters.
Battle Barge is a pontoon boat
Eldar on Jet Skis
Imperial Fishing Trawlers
Tau get a speed boat
Orks on rowboats and tubes duck-taped together
Boarding torpedoes are guys on wakeboards
And everyone is throwing that egg shit from whale wars at each other.
The Imperial Guard is sitting on the beach yelling for someone to pick them up already!

>Eons ago, the necrons rised against the old ones.
>There was a war unlike any other; toys were confiscated, windows were broken, it seemed as the universe was about to end.
>But the old ones possessed a weapon far surpassing anything: The power to ground.
>Thus the necrons went to sleep, never to rise again.
And that's the reason why we use nerf instead of bb guns now, billy.

>>49940209
>>Eons ago, the necrons rised against the old ones.
That's "rose".

>>49940187
Yeah, whoever the equivalent of Lorgar is.

I feel like the extent of religious differences should be the church girl sisters of battle and the Mormon techpriests, but that should still just be each side weirding out the other.

>>49940196
>This is the beach episode
We are getting something

>>49940243
Umi da, indeed

>>49940243
AWESOME. This thread has fucking gone places. Someone needs to be ready when this thing caps out. This needs to get a second installment.

>>49940242
I think the Catholic scout SoB are a wonderful idea
But the Mormon Tech-Priest ? Nah, i would think of some nerdy kids who watch lot of science show (ala Bill Nye the science Guy) and lots of DiY video but can't create something if the YouTube channel named STC didn't do it first. They would praise the power of Science or some things like that
>>49940318
Totally agree

>>49940333
I wasn't sure on the Mormon thing either.I think I saw it upthread.

>>49940333
I think it would work better as old magazines, cds or even VHS. That way they can rediscover it after spending the day searching their attic or cave (house "Mars" is known for its very scary cave, so not a lot of techpriests are brave enough to go look for the STCs there) and have schisms and declare each other hereteks when they create a new thing and try to bluff, saying that they totally got a STC in their house but wont show it to the others because their parents would get angry.

Tech-heresy became a very serious matter after someone tried to do some homemade firecrackers that almost burned all the garbage cans.

File: Spoiler Image (142 KB, 429x783)

142 KB PNG

>>49940145
I can draw kids, kind of.

Sadly, you'll have to keep this thread alive for a week before I'll have time for it.

>>49940622
Nice work, myself I can't draw kids I can just draw adult-looking small human, but once the thread is archived we will create another thread until shit's get done, again great work you've done here !

>>49940508
>STCs are old VHS tapes of Bill Nye, How it's Made, or home improvement shows

I can dig it

>>49913500
>Uncle sly
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>49938614
Better yet his first name is "Manny", goes by Mann for short. Last name is Emperor.

>>49941002
>Last name is Emperor.
At least put it in another language, goddamn

>>49941002
Also, his first name in full is Manifred, to which Horus teases him relentlessly.

>>49939390
>and what are you this Halloween, little man?
>Imma commissar! I gets to shoot people
>Well that's not very nice.
>But it's to help them feel better! It's to improve morale or so daddy Cain says.
>Don't you think it'd be better to give them hugs instead?
>That's heresy! Hugs are for sissies cos it gives you chaos cooties.
>But it's much nicer than shooting them. That way, no one gets hurt
>That means then that you're a heretic. Imma gonna have to shoot you now.
>.... do you parents know where you are?

>>49907591
moon boots

>>49913851
>The word spreads out of these kids who are getting mad cred for buying all these cool toys.
>Tons of kids want to get in on the prestige but come from poorer families.
>Cue all the kids with mechanically inclined parents getting really into it, completely pimping out their own, and their friends "Wargear"

File: 809db84c88f07d8ea4994e9a3(...).jpg (389 KB, 1920x1080)

389 KB JPG

>This thread
That game was fucking baller though so this whole idea is just so good.

archived on sup/tg/. I love you guys so much, and threads like this are an absolute delight. <3

>>49940209
>Now, with the Old Ones now long past, The Necrons have arosen, determined to avenge their lost youth

>>49897592
I've broken like three picture frames with that thing.

Sooo.... Is there a chance one kid has an imaginary friend he talks to all the time? Maybe a plank, maybe his gun, I dunno

But you all know who I'm talkin about

I'm Commissar Cain and this is my favourite post on the board.

File: Spoiler Image (59 KB, 900x435)

59 KB JPG

>>49942314

Decided to do a bit of writefaggotry
Commander Billy sat alongside his fellow battle brothers in their cardboard bunker, carefully plotting out their next move for their forces. They had managed to push the chaos forces back, but they were a tenacious lot.

"Billy! Billy!" a red haired child called out as he burst through the door, eyes wide.
"I've told you it's Commander Billy," the taller boy sighed, "What is it now, Commissar Robbie?"
"They're here..." Robbie replied, fumbling with his words, "Tyranids." Billy's eyes grew wide at his words, "Show me," he ordered, following the boy out of his tent, weapon in hand. The two strode out onto the field of battle, green stretching before them as Billy surveyed his surroundings.

"It started small at first," Robbie began, pointing to the left, "A swarm of gaunts showed up on our flank. The Sisters of Battle and Slaaneshi forces both broke off to deal with it, but I fear it was just a diversionary force."

Billy's eyes followed his gesture, spotting the familiar uniforms of the church girls alongside the garish pink clothes of some of the girls from the chaos force. Between them lay an overturned basket, the girls having abandoned their weapons in favor of coddling a dozen adorable kittens, pawing curiously at both sides.

"Then the real threats began, overtaking our main line," Robbie says, saluting to the front, "My brave men stayed behind to distract the genestealers with their lasguns, but I'm not sure how much longer they can hold." He easily spotted the younger boys, still dressed in their olive uniforms. They were circled about, a pair of cats pouncing around between them as they took turns shining their laser scopes on the ground, laughing at the feline antics.

(cont)

>>49943141
"Your Battle brothers have fared better," Robbie says, nodding further to the distance, "They have managed to contest a warrior brood using their superior range." In the distance, he made out the familiar armored figures, others he fought alongside. One cocked his arm back, flinging a ball into the distance, only for it to be chased down and caught by one of three Labradors, tails wagging before bringing it back.

"The Tyranids won't be deterred so easily," Billy shook his head, "I'm afraid my Brothers are already lost. What of the other chaos forces?"
"We were lucky there, Commander," Robbie says, handing him a pair of binoculars, "If you'll check our scanners, I think you'll find we got off easy." The boy lifted his helmet to peer into the distance, spotting a number of his enemies petting a couple of great danes. Behind them stood a familiar woman, giving Billy a wave as she noticed him.

"They've gone into close quarters with a pair of Carnifex," Billy nodded, "Led by the Swarmlord herself. Can you get Librarian Richard to-"
"I'm afraid not," Robbie shook his head, gesturing to the bespectacled boy lying nearby, "He's locked in a battle of minds with a Zoanthrope." Billy sighed as he watched the thinner child lying in the grass, laughing as a small dachshund lapped at his face.

"Then I have no choice," Billy replied, withdrawing a small device from his pocket, punching in a code as he had many times before, "I must call an Exterminatus." Robbie gave a grave nod, watching silently as Billy pressed the final button, a tense moment passing. Billy heard a dull tone in his ear for but a moment, before smiling.

"Hi Mom, it's Billy," he said cheerfully, "We're almost done playing with our friends. When can you pick us up?"

>>49943141
>>49943154

>Exterminatus is the end of playtime

Fucking love it

>>49943154
>>49943141
That's awesome, I love it.

File: mattel ultimator simular (...).png (5.17 MB, 1920x1440)

5.17 MB PNG

>>49896116
kek
>>49917434
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCiFO7qV54E
>>49913851
>>49913946
>>49914151
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdhciNFgkU4
>>49898137
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4sALru9IJk

File: Eldar Ranger Long Rifle b(...).jpg (3.84 MB, 3648x2736)

3.84 MB JPG

>>49943463
>>49896369
>>>49899571
>Eldar are teens who still enjoy playing with nerf guns

Have a nerf gun dressed up as an Eldar Rifle.

>>49943579
That's pretty slick there famalama.

>>49943633

damn right.

>>49926894
I kekked

>>49942200
That's arisen

>>49942314
>>49942426
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK99vZerSdc
I didn't want to feel tonight.

I'm surprised no one has considered the idea that the Legions are a bunch of friends to the Primarch kids.

Of course imagining the Iron Cage as a nerf game is quite funny.

>Guilman complains to the people at nerf that kids working together in one big clump is unfair and, miraculously, they changes the rules.
>He swaggers around telling the other Primarch kids about how he had a part in the new official rules.
>Khan and Corax really like the rules change. Russ, Dorn and Vulkan...not so much.
>To put it bluntly they started complaining...a lot.

>>49939545
Children.
Like, actually younger than 8 y/o children.

I once got locked in a room against my will when a swarm of them took possession of a bunch of golf clubs and metal bats.

They're not accurate or too smart, but they come in hordes and they're hard to hit.

>>49945439
Thanks for the nostalgia trip anon. I miss old cartoon network, and my childhood.

>>49898871
>there is only love

File: tyranids_hold_the_line.jpg (128 KB, 750x600)

128 KB JPG

>>49946408
>8 y/o children as tyrannids

I'm with this guy. Every damn time at a family gathering (which roughly numbers around 50 to 120 people at one place) I'm normally the one little kids gravitate to for some reason. I prepare for their arrival by getting as many cartoons and games for them to enjoy as I can. So just imagine about 30 kids, all averaging about 7 or 6 y/o and YOU have to take care of them because no one else can, will, or want to.

So yeah, comparing little kids to something that destroys civilizations and devours planets is pretty damn accurate.

>>49896116
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/49896116/
About to hit 404 land, Here's the link to the thread archive

>>49935230
he got injured while fighting with horus.

that's why horus isn't allowed to play with nerf guns anymore.

>>49942426
>brother johnny


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL-jkxc6GMQ&list=PLyiDf91_bTEhrOLEvAnXG8DFLJiaUHWPP

THIS PLAYLIST IS REALLY REALLY RELEVANT TO THE WHOLE THREAD.

I propose that when the thread will be archived that we create another thread, I have the feeling that we are creating something greater than us

File: Second.jpg (25 KB, 200x200)

25 KB JPG

>>49947746

File: 1300348723451.jpg (73 KB, 683x684)

73 KB JPG

>>49947746
Agreed.

I haven't contributed anything, but I just wanted to say that this is the best damn thread and it's been a pleasure watching you guys make it.

>>49936801
The Big Horace Fight
>Horace was the second best neighborhood kid at Nerf
>Him and Hugh M. bonded over it, and they'd always fight together, being on a team together against all the other local kids ("this one's just friendly, it doesn't count!") and stuff
>But Horace was actually a much less good kid than Hugh and mostly cared about winning so other kids would know how great he was
>gradually started resenting Hugh's rules about fair play, ignored them whenever nobody else saw, and lied about it whenever a kid complained
>when the other kids started calling Hugh "The Emperor", Horace decided the rules were just there to make Hugh look better than him and that Horace was really the #1 best
>he started recruiting everyone he knew was a bully from school or that he saw breaking the rules
>eventually they declared themselves to be THE LORDS OF CHAOS because screw the rules
>they claim the big wooden-castle playground is their turf and tell the loyal kids to KEEP OUT OR ELSE
>there's a big Nerf battle to settle who rules the playground
>eventually, only Emps and Horace are left
>they battle all through the castle, Horace gets tagged about five times but lies about it
>he can tell Hugh really is better than him, though
>eventually they meet on top of the castle
>Horace tries to shoot Emps, but he's out of darts
>Emperor calmly donks Horace right in the forehead with a shot from his backup Maverick
>everybody sees it, nobody can deny Horace lost, even the Chaos kids
>but Horace loses it and pushes Hugh off the castle, and he falls and breaks his leg
>that one kid with the red T-shirt that matches his bike helmet who owns his own smartphone calls his dad and an ambulance
>it's too serious, the number 1 kid rule is broken: everybody tells on Horace
>Hugh has to get a cast and sit in a wheelchair for ages
>Horace grounded for life, never to Nerf again
>Neighborhood kids spraypaint the wheelchair gold as a surprise because Hugh won and rules

>>49934505
I'm not sure what you mean. It's gw and their ''no fun allowed'' ways that I'm trying to point out.

>>49947746
See >>49942200

Warp travel, teleportation and other psychic camouflaging powers are actually going in the hedgerows and drainage ditches between the houses.
Often faster and sneaky, but dangerous and you never know how long it will take exactly, or if you will arrive at the right place.

>>49939983
It actually makes perfect sense with the way space marines see the emperor. New players know only the overblown legend, while older players remember the kid and fought alongside him.
>Nah man, he's not a god, but he could do a headshoot from 50 feet away, I've seen him done that several times during the fight with Horace.

>>49940196
I like that a lot.

>>49949086
>Horace's parents sell all his Nerf guns and his friend Donnie buys most of them
>he subsequently becomes one of the main Chaos players and often leads raids
>he is known as "Bad Don"

>>49946408
>Children.
>Like, actually younger than 8 y/o children.

I think this is the best representation of Nids. Synapse creatures are their older siblings/cousins/babysitters watching over-them.

>>49896116
The squats are a kid whose parents stopped letting him play, but every once in a while he sneaks over and does it anyway

On the theme of the mechanicuskids, the ones who help the neighborhood of man don't make anything (unless shit ghoes south), but their older, edgier siblings have started experimenting with parts, making newer, stranger weapons for the chaoskids

This is the reason I keep coming to /tg/, even if I ever played a tabletop.

See you next thread, anons.

>Ceylon Gorman is one of the really experienced players for the snobbish rich kids (Eldar). He's one of their original people that stuck around when a lot of them lost interest (Fall of the Eldar).

>Babysits on occasion and doesn't mind helping his charges out when they want to do some nerfhammery stuff. Especially when they go against the edgy kids, whose influence he (and the Eldar kids' parents) worry about extensively.

>Considering being a theatre major eventually and has a shit ton of props, cloth, and costumes

>Works at the Blakewood Library occasionally

What does an average military campaign against Chaos look like?

>>49956073
Big battle at the old Cadia playground, at the border between Mann's neighborhood and the Chaos slums.