>>49764993
Holy shit, this bait. Is this original or copypasta?

>>49765000
I'm not fucking "baiting." Why is it so hard for you people to accept that people have REAL problems with the direction of fantasy nowadays?

We are losing the last vestiges of creative communal storytelling and replacing it with brainless cartoons.

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>>49765020
It's time for bed Grandpa, did you remember to take your applesauce and pills tonight? Don't worry, I'll make sure those nasty young people don't end the world while you're asleep.

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>>49764993
Magic is literally what separates fantasy from mundane fiction, anon, by definition.

>>49765020
>>49764993

Ok, let's entertain this for a moment.

Let's take away the magic. Now, what is it remaining that identifies what you've made as "fantasy", as opposed to "historical speculative fiction"?

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Have a pity reply:

Either advertise it as very low fantasy or alternate history campaign. What you describe is a failure to communicate on your part.

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>>49764993
>Nobody expected to read about a half-demon-half-angel-dual-scythe wielding sparkefairy in Lord of the Rings.
Weeeeeell...

>>49764993
I agree with some of the things you say, but the talking animals part is kind of the charm of fantasy.

There need to be more games with players not having access to magic, though.

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>>49765078
Boobplate and non-historically-accurate gender equality remains, but we already KNOW there are people who will bitch about THAT incessantly.

>People should stop being entitled and share MY tastes instead!

>>49765091
Well he does have a point OP. The Balrog wasn't necessarily a half-demon though.

>>49764993
>Nobody expected to read about a half-demon-half-angel-dual-scythe wielding sparkefairy in Lord of the Rings

Somebody didn't read the Silmarillion

>>49764993
>Magic is anime
Is this /tg/s "Fun is a buzzword"?

>NO ITEMS! FOX ONLY! FINAL DESTINATION!
who needs things like choices, or options right?

>>49764993
This actually is making me curious. Are there any fantasy stories with absolutely no magic? Can it even be called fantasy if there's nothing supernatural or magical?

>>49764993
Oh man, fresh copypasta! You sure put a lot of work into it, OP!

But you're still a fag.

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>>49764993

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>>49764993
>>"I want to be a ninja!"
>There are no ninjas in Europe.
>>"Yeah but there might be!"
only in murica... american fantasy is a complete shit pastiche of various elements, thrown together without rhyme nor reason

but apparently as long as it's only "crazy" or "hilarious" enough, it's all good. any gimmick that brings attention will do. mfw

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>Main character has a magical glowing sword
>Designed to kill a specific non-human race
>Forged by Elves

Don't forget the literal council of Wizards, and countless centuries of Elves as a predominant race.

>>49764993
You do know that the Arthurian myths that largely inspired western fantasy are about a guy wearing off-period armor and using a giant magical anime sword to murderfuck giant monsters-of-the-week while protecting his brainwashed girlfriend and following his master, who himself was an edgy tiefling, right?

>>49764993
>half-demon-half-angel-dual-scythe wielding sparkefairy in Lord of the Rings
the witch-king of angmar is not too far off, bud

>>49765070
No. No no no. Fuck off with this. Fantasy is BY DEFINITION something that didn't happen. You don't need cartoon characters and superpowers and impractical armor and plot-derailing get out of jail free cards to do it.

I'm running a campaign based on my fantasy novel, and use the concepts of warring kingdoms, traveling through mysterious new lands, encountering strange powerful creatures, and epic journeys, all without a single dragon, spell, mysticism, or religion.

An adventurer is somebody who goes on an adventure, and what could be more adventurous in the middle ages than traveling to places similar to Africa and encountering lions or crocodiles? These are REAL dragons, that actually exist. These are things that could really get you and kill you in the real world. That's infinitely scarier and more intimidating than an impractical impossible cartoon monster.

In the real past, getting wounded is scary. Without antiseptics you could die or get gangreen easily. And with no magic wizard to cure your booboos, that means every wound matters, so no running willy-nilly into danger just to get resurrected later.

These are things missing from modern fantasy, or as I like to call it "Anime Fantasy," Real Fantasy has consequences. Real Fantasy is a journey against all odds. Real Fantasy is about preservering through adversity.

>>49765103
Oh fuck off. Boobplate is fucking ignorant and women were almost completely equal to men in the middle ages. Stop buying into Victorian fairytales.

>>49765183
>Monsters-of-the-week
>And the Saxons

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>>49764993
>>49765020
>>49765177

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>>49765194

>>49764993
>>49765020
>>49765194
>It's another 'waaah other people like different things then me!' episode

You sound pretty damn autistic.

>>49764993
>talking animals
Talking animals are a fairly reasonable staple of mythology and fantasy, even the more grounded versions.

Hey virt, going full throttle today?

>>49765086
>What you describe is a failure to communicate on your part
Yeah, this is what I think, too. He just got the wrong players with false expectations. That he probably played some homebrewed DnD didn't help, too.

>>49765194
>Fantasy is BY DEFINITION something that didn't happen
That's fiction.

Merriam-Webster describes fantasy as: "something that is produced by the imagination : an idea about doing something that is far removed from normal reality."

Cabridge describes fantasy in the literary sense as: "a story or type of literature that describes situations that are very different from real life, usually involving magic"

Oxford Dictionary describes fantasy in the literary sense as: "A genre of imaginative fiction involving magic and adventure, especially in a setting other than the real world"

You're retarded. Good bait though

>>49764993
Was this setting you tried introducing your own homebrew or someone else's published material?

>>49764993
Pretty good b8. Not as good as ellipses guy, but frankly, only one person on /tg/ has ever achieved his level of autism, and he's currently shitting up pathfinder threads.

so yeah, 8/10/ (you) well deserved.

>>49765230
>an idea about doing something that is far removed from normal reality.

Countries that don't exist is LITERALLY removed from reality.

>>49765236
...That's the point. Are you alright?

>>49764993
Cry about it, you're just gonna bitch and whine on your front porch and nobody's gonna give a shit when the fist-waggling stops.

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>>49765194
>Tolkien is anime fantasy now
You heard it, folks.

>>49764993
TL;DR
>I only want male human fighters in my setting
>FANTASY must be literally like real life

>>49765194
Care to list some examples of Real Fantasy™? Not even ASoIaF is gritty and grounded enough to fit your criteria.

>>49764993
While your complaints may be valid, it sounds to me like you're really bad at communication and should probably get that fixed before you try your hand at DMing.

>>49765194
>In the real past, getting wounded is scary.
In the real past, adventuring is scary. I'd rather play a down-to-earth serf who fights valiantly against real threats like powdery mildew and locust outbreaks.

>>49765194
good for you. the rest of the world prefers more myths and mysticism in their games. bye.

Is this OP okay? I think something is wrong with him. We should ask, just to be sure.

Are you ok OP?

>>49765196
That's a pleonasm I think

>>49765260
War of the 5 Crowns

Note please that the OP has a problem with "magic", not with magic. I think that what he means by "magic" is videogame-like shootan and explodan and healan with minimal consequences and no difficulty aside from being a wizard or an elf or something, which you get for free at the start of the game. I don't think OP would have a problem with a game where the party encounters an elf at some point. but rather all games being such that not encountering elves all the time would be strange.

>>49765297
Note also that OP is a huge faggot.

>>49765291
Never heard of it. Could you describe it a bit or provide a synopsis?

>>49765297
tell him to play The One Ring and to shut the fuck up

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>>49764993
Holy shit, I can't even begin to into this, and I prefer low or non-magic fantasy settings.

>>49765297
They're the same fucking thing.

>>49765309
>Never heard of it.

You will as soon as I hear back from a publisher.

>>49765236
>Far removed from normal reality
Which is to say, that if it's completely composed of totally plausible things, like, just another country existing that currently does not, than it's not really "fantastic," it's just fiction. I guess you could call alt-history fantasy, if you stretch it, but let's not chop hairs here- semantics aside, what the majority of people consider "fantasy" does not really include what you're talking about, and they're clearly not the same interest. Perhaps you would be better served finding other people who share your interests? Just try not to be so trigger-happy on the autism, because you're going to need to not scare those people off.

>>49764993
Next time, just post this.
It will be easier and get your point across much more effectively.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tYKPdNvH800

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>>49765328
Good luck, OP.

>>49765175
Thats not a frog its a bloody toad, TOOOAAADDDDD

>50 replies in an hour for such a banal bait
Jeez /tg/ what happened to you

>>49765367
>anything that disagrees with me is bait

>>49764993
>Magic" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era

what are you smoking

>>49764993
>Nobody expected to read about a half-demon-half-angel-dual-scythe wielding sparkefairy in Lord of the Rings.
Nobody expected to read about a giant full demon sword-and-fire-whip wielding spirit of flame and smoke who the WIZARD could battle while falling for days either but there was still one in it.

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>>49765252
"The field is lost, Everything is lost! The Black one has fallen from the sky, The towers in ruins lie."
...Better story telling doe

>>49765367
seems business as usual to me

/tg/ is notoriously bad at taking the bait, despite what kind of history those one or two screencaps you've seen might have portrayed.

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>This much concentrated "stop liking what I don't like" in a single post

Holy shit. It's almost beautiful, in a way.

>>49765376
Not everyone have the intellectual sophistiction to appreciate grimdark, realistic fantasy.

>>49765194
>my fantasy novel

Oh, PLEASE post a link. I have not wanted to know more with more fervour since the bugs nuked Rio

>>49765194
oh man you're so fucking right
>I'm running a campaign based on my fantasy novel, and use the concepts of warring kingdoms, traveling through mysterious new lands, encountering strange powerful creatures, and epic journeys-
hol up
>strange powerful creatures
>mysterious new lands
>le '''epic''' journey
what is this anime fantasy bullshit?
that isn't realistic at all

seriously though you got some good pasta there

>>49765394
It's not done yet. Just look for it on Amazon in the future.

>>49765194
Fantasy the word by definition means something that didnt happen

Fantasy the genre has been and always will be defined by its otherworldly/impossible aspects such as magic and mosters

>>49765231
It's his NOVEL

>>49765194
>based on my fantasy novel
>authorial intent
Sounds like you're salty about players fucking with your rail-road. Stick to writing dime novels if you're going to be this butt hurt.

>>49765404
Well, that's the problem. He should make a setting that works for tabletop games, not for his pet novel.

>>49765367
The bait is banal, but entertaining enough.

>>49765166
If a fantasy setting doesn't have magic its probably considered sci-fi.

>>49765340
>>49765328
>>49765309
>>49765291
>>49765260
Huh, it's actually a real upcoming book
http://www.risingshadow.net/library/book/42393-king-of-ashes


>where the most powerful and lethal soldiers - the Nocusara, the Hidden Warriors - are trained.
IT LITERALLY HAS NOT-NINJAS WITH A JAP-ALIKE NAME

..sorry for caps the juxtaposition of that with OP's other shit had me actually laughing out loud.

>>49765328
What an arrogant piece of shit

>>49764993
Your problem lies in the people you know, not the object of their obsession.

>>49765428
Maybe OP is not the author and just wanted to ridicule something he found on the internet?

I dunno, i have no strong feelings about the novel, but OP is either the world's worst shill, world's worst anti-shill or world's worst troll.

>>49765428
That's not mine. Mine is War of THE Five Crowns, idiot.

>>49765455
>Maybe OP is not the author
That's a given that OP is a lying faggot.

>>49765461
Yours is trash until you prove it isnt

Lets be honest nobody here is going to be actively searching for it after this thread

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>>49765367
To be honest, he just put so much effort into it that I felt I had to give him something.

That and this thread is fucking hilarious to me.

>>49765471
Obviously they will since people are looking for it now. And once it's out plenty of people will. People are starving for real fantasy nowadays. And when they see something come out like I'm offering them? It'll be like giving a glass of water to somebody who drank nothing but sugar drinks for all their life.

>>49765491
You're not verbose enough to be OP.

>>49765491
>Looking for it now so thy can call you trash about it to your face

Nobody is going to be looking for this in the many months it takes for you to get potentially published

I can tell people are starving for it by how many people here are calling you an idiot and pointing out how your arguments make no real sense

>Implying I would want water any day ever

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>>49765491

Despite OP's clear intent to bait I must say that I would play in this game of theirs and I would love every spergy moment of it. Autism is a hell of a drug.

OP, does your game feature a bulk mechanic in addition to encumbrance? Please say yes.

>>49765491
Can we have an extract, to get us hyped?

>>49765523
It has tables for swimming modifiers by water type and papyrus font

>>49765163
>NO ITEMS!

Damn right. Items are anti-fun, even for casuals. Last time I played, the other semi-serious player insisted on items for "balance" until the casuals all got sick of dying to random bullshit and asked for items to be turned off so they could at least keep track of what was killing them.

>>49765491
>It'll be like giving a glass of water to somebody who drank nothing but sugar drinks for all their life.
shit, then?

like, that's why sugary drinks are such a massive fucking industry, and humans becoming cave dwelling blob monsters is the next stage of our evolution

>>49765221
>Talking animals are a fairly reasonable staple of mythology and fantasy

Genesis, for example.

>>49765491
The water you're pedddling looks suspiciously yellow and smells of ammonia.

As I have actually done Uni level creative writing courses. Allow me to inform you all who don't already know, about how publishers choose books. They read the first sentence of the first paragraph of the first chapter. And if they don't like it they flush it down the loo once they're done wiping. Then they send you a letter that goes something like this. "Dear faggot, unfortunately you're book is not what our business is currently looking for. To bad so sad. From We see literally hundreds of this shit per day."

>>49764993
>>49765194

>"Magic" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era,

Magic, if not supernatural in general, is the defining characterisitic of fantasy.

>Fantasy is BY DEFINITION something that didn't happen.

No, "a fantasy" is an act of the imagination. Fantasy as I, and reading down thread others have stated and which you reject wrongly and even stupidly, is a magic/supernatural based genre.

>what could be more adventurous in the middle ages than traveling to places similar to Africa and encountering lions or crocodiles? These are REAL dragons, that actually exist.

What you're describing is not fantasy. You're describing some sort of historical fiction, as again I see someone has pointed out.

> In the real past, getting wounded is scary. Without antiseptics you could die or get gangreen easily.

Warrior cuts himself shaving, dies of sepsis.

Cool story. Wanna roll up a new character? This time you can die of miasma induced ague despite filling your house with sweet smelling pomanders.

>They think they're entitled to be superheroes instead of part of something bigger.

Starts rant about fantasy. Finishes rant about players wanting to feel they play important roles instead of being minor nobodies. Make your mind up buddy.

>>49765367
Taking bait implies not knowing its bait.

Calling someone retarded a retard isn't falling for bait, no matter how much they may claim they were only pretending

>>49765328
Jesus Christ this is hilarious even if it's bait how much of an egomaniac you have to be yo cite your OWN novel, that's still unpublished, as a genre authority. God damn it OP, if you are seriously your level of autism are worthy of a commendation.

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>OP will never get his novel published

>>49765576
I was going to mention the serpent, but didn't want to attract the fedora/anti-fedora crowd.

>>49765523
Anon, it's not worth it.

Search for Marty's SUEniverse games if you don't believe me. That's what happens when autism runs a game

>>49765491
You are forgetting you also need not to suck.

>>49765613
I'd say that Marty is the polar opposite though. Like, he's full on personal wish fulfillment, whereas OP is full on "realism". Both are massive egomaniacs though.

>>49765598
Good point. I just thought it was the best example to illustrate how completely off-base the idea is that talking animals are some new weeb phenomenon.

>>49764993
I bet you're using DnD or Pathfinder with some slight modifications, because you hate fantasy but are lazy enough to not want to make another system

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>>49764993
>"I wanna be a scientist! I wanna be a doctor!"

No.

"Science" is one of the worst blights inflicted on sci-fi in the classical era, right next to theater and Olympic sports. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "science." Any realistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking RIFLES) has them whining for science. They beg for speshul snowflake races, electronic devices, and stupid humanitarians on the pretense of "science." And on the flipside, sci-fi with actual artistry and modern research put in has them gets shit on as "cool."

I am sick and tired of coddled Antediluvians expecting that their actions should have consequences and that they should have an egg-headed fucker there to throw bombs at all the bad guys and kiss their booboos, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its science~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool soft sci-fi campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this week, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to be a human!"
There are no humans. There are only immortals.
>"I want to be a pirate!"
There are no pirates in A'xran.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is bewitched into thinking everything should be like Neuromancer. Nobody expected to read about a cloned dual-blaster wielding mandalorian bounty hunter in Star Wars. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real sci-fi and the realistic theater tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the bounties and are receptive to primitively planned and researched settings/plots. They think they're entitled to be normies instead of part of something smaller.

>>49765788
Aaaand we've gone full circle. Pack your stuff people, thread's done.

>>49765808
Not until OP gives us an excerpt from his novel.

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>>49765851

>>49765402
Than don't fucking bring it up if you can't even give us a name you looney riceball.

You give us all this shit for liking things you don't like and NOW you start pussyfooting? Fuck off you spineless worm

>>49765596
Actually I've got my early draft notes sent out to MULTIPLE publishers thanks

>>49765788
Holy shit this is autism

>"I wanna field a Broadside! I wanna field a Riptide!"

No.

"Riptide" is one of the worst blights inflicted on 40k in the 7th edition, right next to Flyrants and Frag Cannons. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the other codexes and melee armies alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "they're Tau's TEQs." Any realistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking ION CANNONS) has them whining for Riptides. They beg for FNP, Interceptor, and stupid 3++ saves on the pretense of "Riptides." And on the flipside, 40k with actual artistry and internal balance put in has them gets shit on as "cheese."

I am sick and tired of coddled Tau players expecting that their actions should have consequences and that they should have a T6 fucker there to throw AP2 at all the bad guys and have a 2+ save, and being convinced that if it DIES and they LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its not unbalanced~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool Horus Heresy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this week, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my army to be Tau!"
There are no Tau. There are only Megarachnids and Laer.
>"I want to be a Farsight!"
There are no Farsight Enclaves in 30k
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is bewitched into thinking everything should be like Codex Tau. Nobody expected to read about a T6 2+ FNP MC in Heavy Support. It should not be acceptable outside of Lords of War.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real 40k and the Codex Tau tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the markerlights and are receptive to melee armies and space marines. They think they're entitled to be xenos instead of part of the Imperium.

Hey guys, amusing bait thread! Speaking of fantasy novels, what do you think of the "Urban Fantasy" genre?

Got into it from reading Skullduggery Pleasant in my younger years, and I love the stuff. I know it's not awesome high fantasy like Tolkien's works but I think it's a bit of a different beast and does its own thing.

I'm writing a novel in the genre, but I confess it's just a pet hobby project, and I'm not exactly a writer. Still, it's a story I'd like to tell.

>>49765891
What publishers accept unsolicited submissions of not even a full manuscript but "early draft notes"?

Do you have an agent? Legit question here.

>>49765891
I too, now I'm a self-publisher. Chances are that they will get rejected, this is just how this industry works. Publishers get hundreds of scripts every day and they don't have the time to give them all a faire chance.

>>49765919
Really? How exactly does self-publishing work? Obviously they don't have time to read all the scripts all the way through, but what system do they use to sort through to ones where they do?

>>49764993
>>49765020
This is probably bait, but fuck it I'm gonna respond anyway, because there's probably some chucklehead out there who actually believes this.

You're moaning about the death of "creative communal storytelling" while at the same time insisting that everyone else should bend to your desires. If your group doesn't want to play a historical setting, then they don't want to play a historical setting. Trying to force them into it is not going to foster a creative, communal spirit. All it's going to do is piss your players off, and make them resent you forcing your desires onto them.

Next time, try asking what your players actually want out of the game, tell them what you want out of the game, and then find a happy medium. If no compromise is possible, find another group.

>>49765928
Self publishing is usually just paying for your own editors and cover artists etc then putting it up.as an ebook to my understanding

>>49764993
>"I want to be a ninja!"
>There are no ninjas in Europe.

That's what the ninjas want you to think.

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>>49765951

>>49765928
There are several platforms out there for self-publishing, the most common is amazon. You need to edit your book via html or a program that does that, so it doesn't look like crap on hardware or any e-book reader. Also there is what this guy said>>49765943 Though you can safe the money for an editor if you think you are good enough. The same goes if you can create covers yourself.

>>49765383
shit, do you know the original for that image?

>>49765394
The bugs nuked Buenos Aires, not Rio de Janeiro.

>Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like World of Warcraft.
I feel like this line tells a lot more about OP than the rest of his post.

>>49765788
>>49764993 (OP)
>"I wanna be a jedi! I wanna be a sith!"
No.
"The force" is one of the worst blights inflicted on star wars in the classical era, right next to the prequels and animated series. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "the force" Any fun character shit or stupid weapons (fucking LIGHTSABERS) has them whining for the force. They beg for speshul snowflake races, lightsabers, and stupid sith on the pretense of "force" And on the flipside, star wars with actual artistry and modern research put in has them gets shit on as "boring"
I am sick and tired of coddled Millenials expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a robed dude there to throw trucks at all the bad guys and mind trick, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its the force~!
I tried introducing my players to this cool soft star wars campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this week, and they immediately started the usual shit.
>"I want my character to be a mandalorian!"
There are no mandalorians. They are almost extinct.
>"I want to be an imperial!"
There are no imperials in hutt space.
>"Yeah but there might be!"
It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is bewitched into thinking everything should be like the shit wars. Nobody expected to read about a cloned dual-blaster
wielding mandalorian bounty hunter in Star Wars. It should not be acceptable today either.
There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real star wars and the unrealistic theater tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the force and are receptive to planned and researched settings/plots. They think they're entitled to be jedi instead of part of something smaller.

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>>49764993

>>49765461
Might want to choose a different name, then. Perhaps one that isn't so horribly generic that your readers are liable to mistake it for a completely different novel.

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>>49764993
THE MAGIC ENDS HERE

>>49766000
>>49765902
>>49765788
Ah the old 'Katana's are underpowerd' solution

>>49766036
We have been provided with a glorious new copypasta.

We must use it.

>>49765976
Kazikli Bey: The Fortress of Impalement

Just more nasushit stuff

>>49764993
So that whole long ass section about Tom Bombadil wasn't a thing. Got it.

>>49765291
>>49765328
>>49765404
>>49765428
https://youtu.be/8ldV4hg_9M4?t=6m11s

>>49766096
Can't youtube atm, somebody tell me what in there link

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This is the lowest quality bait I've ever seen. I'm fucking lightheaded from how hard I'm laughing. Did we just witness the birth of a new copy pasta?

>>49766036
>>49766042
>>49766113
Somebody make one about samurai and knight with swords/katanas.

>>49764993

There were assassins in Europe

Assassins existed everywhere iirc

>>49766085
I like nasushit, so i'm fine with that.

I was hoping it was something else, perhaps something i could binge, but no such luck.

>>49766132
If you want something with cool flashy fights to binge, have you seen Thunderbolt Fantasy?

This is the weirdest viral marketing I've seen in quite some time.

Kudos OP.

>"I wanna be a barbarian! I wanna be a warrior!"

No.

"Hp" is one of the worst blights inflicted on ttrpgs in the modern era, right next to DnD and /v/rpgs.
It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to survive they justify with "HP" Any unrealistic character survival or not dying (fucking tanks) has them whining for HP. They survive guns and stupid monsters on the pretense of "HP" And on the flipside, ttrpgs with actual artistry and historical research put in has them gets shit on as "deadly"

I am sick and tired of coddled Millennials expecting that enemy attacks should have no consequences and that they should survive a pointy hatted fucker throwing bombs at all the good guys and bandages instantly healing their booboos, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its HP~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool historical fantasy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to survive an arrow!"
Arrows always kill people
>"I want to survive the warp!
But nobody can survive the warp
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like World of Warcraft. Nobody expected to read about a gollum surviving the lava in Lord of the Rings. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real ttrpgs and the unrealistic anime tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the character survival and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched systems. They think they're entitled to be superheroes instead of part of something more dying.

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>>49764993
I cannot stress this enough. It doesn't matter if this is bait, viral marketing, or you really are this retarded. Leave this place and never come back. Nobody wants you here. I'm not going to tell you to kill yourself, because I don't care that much, but just go away. For fuck's sake.

>>49766123
I would make one about how Samurai and Vikings are overblown cause they where shit in real life. But I'm tired as fuck. G'night yall.

>>49766204
>that pic
Is that what they finally named the invasion of Iraq?

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>"I wanna be a blaster! I wanna be a tank!"
No.
"Superpowers" is one of the worst blights inflicted on superheroes in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "superpowers." Any unrealistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking CLAWS) has them whining for powers. They beg for speshul snowflake aliens, talking animals, and stupid mutants on the pretense of "superpowers." And on the flipside, comics with actual artistry and historical research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."
I am sick and tired of coddled Millennials expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a cape-draped fucker there to throw death rays at all the baddies and whoop their asses, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its superpowers~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool superhero campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their chars this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.
>"I want my character to be an blaster!"
There are no blasters. There are only humans.
>"I want to have invisibility!"
There are no invisibles in Europe.
>"Yeah but there might be!"
It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like Hero Turtles. Nobody expected to read about a flying, invulnerable alien w/ x-ray vision in Superman. It should not be acceptable today either.
There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real superheroes and the unrealistic anime tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the capes and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched settings/plots. They think they're entitled to be superheroes instead of part of something bigger.

>>49764993
>"I wanna be a Indian! I wanna be a Apache Brave!"

No.

"Native americans" is one of the worst blights inflicted on wildWest Fiction, right next to Dysentery and snake bites. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify "Apache secret" Any unrealistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking TOMAHAWKS) has them whining for six-shooters. They beg for speshul snowflake tribes, talking animals, and stupid monsters on the pretense of "Native americans." And on the flipside, fiction with actual artistry and historical research put in has them gets shit on as "savage"

I am sick and tired of coddled Millennials expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a feather headdressed indian to use his tracking skills on the bad guys and use peyote on the wounded, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really lose because ~its Native American~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool historical campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to be apache!"
There are no apache. only settlers
>"I want to be a tracker!"
trackers were extinct
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like Lone Ranger Nobody expected to read about a dual-tomahawk wielding apache in Fistful of Dolalrs. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between historical and the unrealistic movie tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the apache and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched settings/plots. They think they're entitled to be Indians instead of part of something bigger.

>>49766123
>"I wanna be a Samurai! I wanna be a ninja!"

No.

"katanas" are one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to cut they justify with "katana" Any realistic character shit or practical weapons (fucking ZWEIHANDERS) has them whining for katanas. They beg for speshul snowflake weapons, folded nippon steel, and stupid smithing on the pretense of "katanad" And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and historical research put in has them gets shit on as "boring"

I am sick and tired of coddled Weebs expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a straw hatted fucker slash all the enemies, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its katanas~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool historical fantasy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to wield a katana"
There are no katanas. Only zweihanders
>"I want to be a ninja!"
There are no ninjas in Europe.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like 7 samurai. Nobody expected to read about a dual katana wielding ninja in Lord of the Rings. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the unrealistic anime tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the katana and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched settettings/plots. They think they're entitled to be samurai instead of part of something bigger.

somebody save this thread, its comedy gold

>>49766108
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r3nOTSUgB0

My Novel by Raust Blackdragon
Chapter 52
Thump. Thump. Terry's penis was being quite moody today, he stared at its veiny shaft as it quickly swaft to and fro, from stark raving hard, to completely flaccid. As a result, Terry's penis had quickly slapped against the underside of the table, and -- Thump. "Golly!" Terry exclaimed, "There it is again!" "What's the matter honeycakes?" Erika inquired as she went over the hair of her vagoo with a louse comb. Then she exploded because she was imaginary or something. Terry couldn't hold it in any longer. "Well, golly gee!" he shouted as his bowels let loose. "This day just could not get any worse!" Then it hit him. It was perfect. A shit-eating grin shot across his face as he fluttered with anticipation. With a click of his heels, Erika appeared again before him, her puss place hairier than ever before. "I am expressing that I am female in a sultry manner, furthermore I would like to have sexual intercourse with you." Erika said, in a way that females talk. She then raised her armpits, and through the jungle of fuzz, Terry could see that her armpits too were hair ridden baby-slots. Terry was jubilant. "Oh boy!" he excitedly shouted, as he took off his nazi uniform. "Were there an author to my life, I would totally not be a projection of him!" Erika then said some female stuff, but Terry didn't even notice, because what she did next made his mind go fuzzy, and by 'what she did next' I mean squirted cooch-milk out of her pit-pussies. Terry drank all the milk, and its magic calcium made his dick as hard as it is to GET PEOPLE TO APPRECIATE GOOD LITERATURE! OH BOY! He then put his penis into her vagina, and they commenced the act of mating. "I have a surprise for you." Erika said to Terry. He felt something press firmly against the very much circumsised head of his pee-pee. A phallus sprung forth from Erika's dirtyhole.

Its fitting that the only interesting piece of writing that OP has ever done is this new pasta

>>49766281
(cont'd.)

"Hot diggedy" Terry said joyfully with a happy jig as Erika bent him over and buttfucked him. Then it happened, she jizzed. Terry closed his eyes, and then a great power built up in him, he knew what he had to do. He offered Erika, but a single warning. "Brace yourself Erika, for this is the end of all that once was, the beast inside has been unleashed!" And then he did it, he farted on her, all the collective spunk built up in his rectum burst forth, and like a bukkake tsunami, engulfed Erika. "Oh Terry, you beautiful man, you." She cried, wiping sperm from her eyes. "I love you." "I love you too." Said Terry, and he firmly pressed his face into Erika's unkempt hairy vagina.

>>49766268
Already on suptg

>>49766260
should be

>There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between unrealistic anime and the real fantasy tripe being thrown around

>>49766151
i have not. I'll look into it

>>49766281
>>49766288
Joyce please go.

>>49764993
Sounds like fantsy isnt for you, maybe just play medieval "mud and maces" instead.

>>49766327
I could read you some more of My Novel, if you want ;3c

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>>49764993

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>"I wanna be a weaponmaster! I wanna use a sword!"

No.

"Swords" are one of the worst blights inflicted on weapons in the modern era, right next to spears and axes. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "sword." Any unrealistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking KNIVES) has them whining for swords. They beg for speshul snowflake styles, ancestral weapons, and stupid armor on the pretense of "swords" And on the flipside, weapons with actual artistry and historical research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."

I am sick and tired of coddled Millennials expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a blade wielding fucker there to throw knives at all the bad guys and cut off limbs, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its swords~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool barfighting campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to have a greatsword!"
There are no greatswords. There are only fists.
>"I want to be a paladin!"
There are no paladins in Ireland.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like medieval europe. Nobody expected to see a greatsword-wielding paladin in Rocky. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real weaponry and the unrealistic fantasy tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the stabbies and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched settettings/plots. They think they're entitled to be dragonslayers instead of part of something bigger.

>>49766339
>;3c
What is this cryptic mesage?

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>>49766374
wanna yiff, Anon-chan~? :3c

>"I wanna be a human! I wanna be an elf!"

No.

"Pluricellular organisms" is one of the worst blights inflicted on life in the history of evolution, right next to nervous systems and sexual reproduction. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "pluricellular organisms." Any complex organism shit or stupid species(fucking MAMMALS) has them whining for pluricellular organisms. They beg for speshul snowflake immune systems, and sentience on the pretense of "pluricellular organisms." And on the flipside, microorganism with actual carbon put in has them gets shit on as "unicellular"

I am sick and tired of coddled carbon-based lifeforms expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a complex organism there to find nourishment and reproduce, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its a pluricellular organism~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool bacterial campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this week, and they immediately started the usual shit

>"I want my character to be a fly!"
There are no insects. There are only cells.
>"I want to be a Candida Albicans!"
There are no yeasts 4000 million years ago.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is bewitched into thinking everything should be like the Origin of Species. Nobody expected to read about a multicellular lifeform in cellular biology. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between bacteria and the pluricellular organism tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by higher species and are receptive to virus. They think they're entitled to be part of something bigger instead of something smaller.

>"I wanna be a drider! I wanna be a drow!"

No.

"Underdark" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to the astral plane and the nine hells. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "Underdark". Any unrealistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking DUAL SCIMITARS)has them whining for the Underdark. They beg for speshul snowflake elves, spider cults, and stupid matriarchical societies on the pretense of "the Underdark." And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and cosmological research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."

I am sick and tired of coddled Myconids expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a dark-skinned fucker there to shoot arrows at all the bad guys, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its the Underdark~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool urban campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit

>"I want my character to be a dark elf!"
There are no dark elves. There are only high elves
>"I want to be a ranger!"
There are no rangers in the city.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like RA Salvatore. Nobody expected to read about a dual-scimitar-wielding drow in Lord of the Rings. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the unrealistic tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the darkness and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched cities/plots. They think they're entitled to be tunnel-dwellers instead of part of something bigger

>>49765339
goddamn that's adorable

>"I wanna be a human! I wanna be a commoner!"

No.

"Realism" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any normal shit your player wants to do they justify with "realism." Any realistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking SPEARS) has them whining for realism. They beg for mundane races, peasants, and farm animals on the pretense of "realism." And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and magical research put in has them gets shit on as "fun."

I am sick and tired of coddled grognards expecting that their actions should have consequences and that they should have a straw hatted fucker there to miss the bad guys and die, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they have to really really lose because ~its realism~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool high fantasy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to be a human!"
There are no human. There are only fairies.
>"I want to be a commoner!"
There are no commoner in the Feywild.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like real life. Nobody expected to read about a pitfork wielding peasant in A Midsummer Night's Dream. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the realistic historical tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't receptive to intelligently planned and researched settings/plots and are blinded by the sparkleys. They think they're entitled to be part of something bigger instead of superheroes.

>>49765917
>Got into it from reading Skullduggery Pleasant in my younger years
my close relative of African descent

>>49764993

STOP

LIKING

WHAT

I

DON'T

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!!!!!!1!!!

>>49766662
>>49766595
>>49766534
>>49766369
>>49766260
>>49766247
>>49766245
>>49766186
>>49766000
>>49765902
>>49765788
thus a meme was born

If the OP wanted to get attention, mission accomplished

It's hilarious how fucking butthurt wizard players get when you dare suggest that they're cheaters who only play to powergame.

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>>49766662
>>49766595
>>49766534
>>49766369
>>49766260
>>49766247
>>49766245
>>49766186
>>49766000
>>49765902
>>49765788

And so shine good deeds in a weary world.
i'm so sorry

>>49764993
I do agree this high fantasy bullshit you see in anime and RPGs is getting kinda boring...but meh, not everyone can have the same good taste...what you could do is really instill that sense of gritiness in your games, having a sincere session zero with your PCs and telling them what goes and goes not in your game.

One thing I've been doing with my D&D games is always having a subplot about a wizard being killed over a debt or somekind of gamble and the authorities all being scared and worried whenever a wizard appears and when the PCs try to get to the bottom of it, the NPCs are always warning them to "please, do not meddle in wizards' affairs"...also, racism. Against half-orcs and tieflings, at least...

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>its yet another /tg/ get completely suckered by an incredibly obvious false flag/troll episode

>>49766795

some people have a sense of humor
>>49766750


come on, join the fun

Would you play a historically accurate RPG set in medieval Europe where you are randomly assigned a social class and career based on actual medieval demographics? 90% of the time you would be assigned peasant and work the land until you die of goiter.

>>49765367
>Jeez /tg/ what happened to you
/tg/ argues about literally anything. I don't see the problem here.

>>49766816
what are the farming mechanics?

>>49765402
What, do we just type "dull books by autistic manchildren" and hope it pops up?

>>49766595
where's the lie tho

>>49766877
Roll d20 dc 15 adding farming skill
if you fail you dont get fed

>>49766816
Ryuutama goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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>>49766816
>Farming/Miller/Fishermen/goiter simulator
I'd join in a heartbeat
>In one scenario the Party teams up to start a peasant revolt larger than the French Revolution in terms of scale
>In another the Party combines their land to make one large mega farm, can they manage the land while blowing off the Kings demands and fighting off the Knights he sends to stop it?
Please make it happen

>>49766824
No we don't

>>49765020
>"""fantasy"""
How is it fantasy if there is no magic, no fantastical weapons, and no fantastical races? Sounds like a historical rpg, your players are probably pissed you misled them.

>>49764993
Is this the katana guy? Seems like he is the katana guy. He has to be the katana guy. That or virt.

Holy shit. Is anybody preserving this for future generations?

>>49767087
Already on suptg

>captcha fees apply

>>49764993
imagine being this bitter about people having fun without you

>>49767074
Anon, not every shitposter is Virt.
In fact, compared to the likes of abatap, lanced jack, Manlet tears and Profit, he's not even notable.

You're giving him far too much credit.

>>49766747
In MY NOVEL JERKOPS and the EVIL WITCH MARY LEE WALSH are zapped to the extreem by SONICHU, an electric hedgehog pokemon

For the TRUE AND HONEST story look on AMAZON for THE WAR OF THE FIVE CROWNS

>>49767074
It can't be Virt, his vocabulary isn't big enough for this.

>>49766735
Is it ok to 1d4chan those posts?

>>49767157
NO

THIS IS IMPORTANT

IF I SEE ONE MORE FREAKIN MEME I WILL PUT A CURSE YE HAME HA UPON THEE, JERKOP

>>49764993
id suggest you reread what you wrote. best out loud.
and if it is bait:congratulations! you wasted time on an anonymous board to waste everybodies time!
in both cases your post is pathetic.

>>49766982
>In another the Party combines their land to make one large mega farm, can they manage the land while blowing off the Kings demands and fighting off the Knights he sends to stop it?
More like
>In another the Party combines their land to make one large mega farm, they fail at life and die from dysentery

>>49767157
I support this, it's important for the future.

>>49767149
Who's Virt?

>>49767211
Everyone's favorite corpse fucking melodramatic shitposter.

>>49767211
A nobody.

>>49767227
>>49767226
Well okay then.

>>49765039
Go deepthroat a shotgun, millennial.

>>49767200
Those who don't die from disease are killed for resisting tithes/taxes.

>>49764993
>"Magic" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era

Was it also a blight back in the ancient times?

>>49767245
you sure showed him replying hours later.

>>49767157
Don't forget to link it here after

>>49767346
Some people work for a living rather than relying on state handouts

>>49767346
kek

>>49765461
So different from the war of the five kings no one will mistake it for a GRRM rip off

>>49765194
ITT: Autism

>>49767365
sadly they don't frequent on 4chan

>>49767365
Why are you bringing the elderly into this?

>>49767365
yeah, ironically not old people such as yourself

>>49767389
Get to the memes part already !

>>49764993

OP's bait aside, I actually have always preferred systems and settings where there's no such thing as a "mage", or anything like it.

I do like my fantasy systems to have magic, mind you, but I've always preferred the sort of setting where magic is something supplemental to the rest of the character's role. A master smith can do some magic around the forge, a powerful fighter can use magic to stave off weariness and ignore his wounds, a woodsman can use magic to increase the potency of the herbs he finds to heal, or to build a temporary shelter that can keep out the blizzard despite its crude nature, that kind of thing.

>I iz da magic guy

always got under my skin.

>>49766795
yeah but at least we got a decent copypasta out of it

>>49765194
This was the sign to abandon thread.

>>49767406
>>49767403
>>49767398

Go back to your participation medals and social justice clubs parasites

t. someone who worked their way up and now takes great pleasure denying you grasping little babies insurance

>>49764993
Fucking amazing.
9/10 maybe even 10/10
Not only is it incredible bait, it's even topically relevant enough to be saved as a copy pasta for future mage supremecy fights.

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Here you go, guys. This one's to you.

>>49767459
I live in England, have a job I enjoy and am off to South Africa for two months to work on a shark cage diving boat.

t. Millenial

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>>49767459
Holy shit dude you're hilarious and butthurt easily.

>>49767459
>t. NEET troll
FTFY

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>>49767485
Thanks anon

>>49764993
Oh so you're just a shit GM

You either failed to communicate to the party what your setting was like, or didn't communicate it at all and planned to slam it down their throats whether they liked it or not

You're not doing collaborative storytelling over there, you're writing a novel where the players get to be side characters cause I bet your faggot ass has a DMPC

>>49767493
>live in England
>affinity for savages

lmao don't come crying to The Donald when your country is fucked

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>>49764993

I like this poster and I agree with its opinion.

Fuck elves, fuck out-of-setting character types and fuck magic in particular.

>>49766991
Underrated

>>49767629
I'd be far too busy thanking whatever god is up there that I don't live in Trump's America for anything like that

>>49767670
You remind me that i need to buy a gun for when the proposed race war starts.

>>49767670
there is no god outside of trump's america you filthy heathen

>>49765380

What the fuck is this? Ferdinands/Elefants were some of the most god awful pieces of machinery produced by Nazi Germany. They're a disgrace to the Porsche Tiger chassis they were built upon. Now, they did look kinda cool, but that's beside the fucking point.

>>49767717
And thus, Atheism was proven right.

>>49765000
It is, report him.

>>49765194
>Oh fuck off. Boobplate is fucking ignorant and women were almost completely equal to men in the middle ages. Stop buying into Victorian fairytales.

10/10 bait

>>49765200
>>49765211
Don't forget to report him.

>>49764993
My only true grievance with magic is the popular expectation that it should be both present and accessible in all settings and the often present dearth of logical conclusions about its repercussions in those where it is.

Still cool pasta bro.

>>49767670
You will

>>49764993
And so another /tg/ meme is born...
Well done OP.

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>>49764993
Latest game I played was 'Low fantasy'.
I said 'Magic exists but it's pretty shitty and nobody really knows about it'.

>Player goes 'I CAN BE A MAGE!? I WANNA THROW FIRE'.
I say 'Sure! You're a Gypsy! You make trinkets and shit!'.
>He's like 'I don't get it. Do they give buffs?'
I'm like 'Maybe! Do you BELIEVE they do?'
>He's like 'No seriously. Like, stats on the sheet?'
I'm like 'If you saw numbers, it wouldn't be MAGIC'.
>Player is believes he's a mage ALL FUCKING GAME.

>>49764993
> No magic, realism.
Fucking awso-
> Only humans
Welp somebody needs to leave.

And history is Fucking boring. People suck. Deal with it.

>>49768758
>history is Fucking boring

Okay we were having a fun thread and then you post this inflammatory bulls hit.

>>49768758
History is literally all of the coolest shit we've ever done since we first began recording how cool the shit we did was, with all of the boring stuff taken OUT.

>>49768758
Someone's never heard of Saint Olga the Mad Pigeon Bomber.

>>49767670
yeah, you're going to find out that it's not irrelevant what color of skin a person has. the sex drive isnt colorblind and from that conflict follows. if you don't get that, congrats - you're a commie.

>>49764993
>There are no ninjas in Europe
>All fantasy settings are Europe
Have a (You).

>>49764993
So you're saying you hate everything except Cubicles and Coworkers?

>>49768921
In my 'fantasy Europe' setting ninjas and samurai are actually space invaders.

>>49768954
3rd edition>>>>>>a pile of shit>>>>>>>>>other editions
Prove me wrong, faggot. (Protip: You can't)

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>>49764993
I'm sorry you hate things so much that salt spontaneously forms in your body, but consider: Some people actually like those things, and that's entirely okay because opinions are inherently subjective and there is no inherently 'correct' way to tell a story, create art, or run a game.

If you want to run a certain genre of campaign then it's your job as a GM to explain to the players what you are aiming for in a way that they can understand and work with. If they don't want to play that genre, you don't get to force them into it, just as they don't get to force you to GM something you don't like. In this case, it sounds like they wanted to play an anime bullshit campaign. While this isn't my personal taste (And clearly not yours, either), there is nothing actually wrong with them wanting it.

I'm lucky enough to have a group that is extremely eclectic in their tastes and preferences, and so am able to sample almost every genre imaginable, with the other GM covering the stuff that I don't particularly enjoy running.

But I digress, and grow farther away from my point, which is that I still have fun playing the anime bullshit, because I'm not a bitter, jaded, sanctimonious fuckhead who tries to force his own preferences onto unwilling players and then throws a salty bitchfit on an anonymous imageboard when they either don't get it or don't want it, and you should probably revise your view on genre conventions lest you become an even more obnoxious twat due to continued but unfortunately justified disappointment. You'd probably be happier (Or at least less mad), but that would mean introspection, and that's much harder than belligerently lashing out into empty space, I guess.

>>49768744
That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever heard, from both sides

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>>49764993

>>49765020
> calls "millenials" whiny snowflakes
> whines about people not liking what he likes
> forgets that magic was a crucial part of DnD at its literal inception.

>>49765194
This thread should have ended with this post.
Why is /tg/ willing to bite such obvious bait?

>>49769126
Knowing it's bait and responding anyway is a sign of patience and kindness

>>49769126
Everyone falls for the meme that /tg/ can turn shit to gold and tries his best to make it true. At least in this thread we got something funny out of it.

>>49765480
It's goddamn beautiful

>>49767485
based anon

>>49764993
>authorial intent
I'm out, thought this was a games board, not some sewing circle for pompous screenplay writer wannabes

>>49769076
>that's entirely okay because opinions are inherently subjective and there is no inherently 'correct' way to tell a story, create art, or run a game
>opinions are inherently subjective and there is no inherently 'correct' way
>there is no inherently 'correct' way
What? Are you retarded or something? Are you actually implying that I may be wrong?

>>49769155
Well, it's not a meme if it's not false

>>49765221
I think it would be interesting to have intelligent animals capable of abstract thought and all that jazz who can't produce human speech

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>>49764993
>The fighter

>>49767485
May the dice gods bless you with good rolls, based anon.

>>49765183
>edgy tiefling
Edgy Half-Fiend Wizard.
He was the son of an Incubus, not the grandson.

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This was a good thread.
No more wizards.
Bards only.

>>49769304
>I literally have no idea what the definition of meme is

>>49764993
>There are no ninjas in Europe.

Who the fuck plays anything set in Europe?

>>49764993
I totally agree, man.

Magic should be rare and utilized by villains. The progenitor of Sword and Sorcery, Conan the Barbarian, did it right. The closest other system I know if Warhammer Fantasy RPG, where magic is rare, dangerous to use, and most people are suspicious of it.

>>49764993
>Fantasy shouldn't have magic in it at all.
Sorry, but even Lord of the Rings had magic in it. If it's fantasy, it almost certainly has magic.

>>49765103
I make all female fighters take penalties in my game. Including Rangers/archer types, given the upper body strength required to use a warbow effectively.

Essentially the only options are witch or assassin or buy yourself a crossbow with a crank loader.

>>49765196
They're the same thing, aren't they?

>>49766369
>>"I want my character to have a greatsword!"
>There are no greatswords. There are only fists.
>>"I want to be a paladin!"
>There are no paladins in Ireland.
I would have gone with "there are only spears"
The Irish were fucking crazy about their spears

>>49765166
Supernatural =\ Magic

Take the story of the Minotaur. Supernatural beings and weird shit, sure, but no wizards running around with magic.

Much of LotR lacks magic. In fact, the world is defined by how rare and powerful magic actually is. Gandalf, the archetypal wizard, is never throwing fireballs or summoning elementals. The closest thing he has to a spell is Animal Speech for the Eagles... Except wait, that's bullshit, it turns out the Eagles are demigods and can speak normally.

The magic in the book is limited to the Ring giving invisibility (it's only power for normal people -- fairly generic in D&D but appearing spectacular in the largely magic less Middle-Earth) and Elrond being able to summon a flood.

I think a new term needs to be found between High Fantasy and Low Fantasy. One to describe scenarios with mythical beasts, elves, dwarves, etc. but where magic and wizards are exceptionally rare.

>>49769890
One book I found suggested rolling stats differently, so females on average have less strength, but you can still have strong women.

>>49767128

Virt's only "notable" because of his Christian-Bale-in-the-Prestige levels of dedication to the retarded character he plays.

>>49767133
>>49767165
>CWCposting

This wasn't even funny in 2009, you dongus.

>>49769937
Where would you place alchemy?

>>49769937

>Much of LotR lacks magic

Not really true. Magic is everywhere. It just mostly exists in incredibly mundane and easy-to-overlook ways.

>>49767128
>Profit
>notable
The guy was just "i am merely PRETENDING to be retarded" on an industrial scale. If not his self-aggrandizing nobody would've remembered him.

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>>49764993
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2YYNPnql9YI

>>49764993
>intelligently planned and researched settettings/plots.
If you enjoy worldbuilding that much, it's time to pull a Tolkien and write a series of novels based on your intricate setting.

Because the PCs DO. NOT. CARE.

They only care about the things that directly affect their characters. The only reason they give a shit that the Baron Haversham usurped the rightful prince and stole the throne is because his paranoid guards are impeding their progress toward whatever quest you've sent them off on.

They don't give a rats ass that you sat down a wrote up a detailed description of Minion #3's life and motivations up to the point he spends twenty seconds in game time getting hacked down by the PC's.

They don't give a fuck that you spent every waking moment of the last year drawing up a detailed map of the hamlet of Fartheringhamton and giving twenty three page descriptive texts of every last man, woman and child in the town. their relationship to the town boils down to, "Is there an adventure hook here and where is it" and, "Can we obtain necessary goods and services from this tiny little shithole of a town?"

It took awhile to realize this, but the only part of the game world I actually had to put any thought into was the parts that the PCs actually interacted with. Once I gave up on my carrer as a frustrated fictional biographer and novelist, the game got a lot more fun to play.

Keep a stable of NPCs with a basic description and motivation handy along with a distinct voice (if your good at that sort of thing) and your PCs will love you for it.

I had an inkeeper who started life a single line description "retired soldier who likes to tell stories to anyone who listens" that became a mainstay of to early levels in my campaign. I made up outrageous stories on the fly for him to tell, and the PCs fell in love with the guy. They would actively seek them out when they made it into town.

Lighten up and ad lib a little. You'll have more fun, so will the PC's.

>>49769890
Iunno, How heavy is the draw weight on a war bow? I used to shoot a 70lb longbow back in high school just fine. Was a war bow much heavier than that?

>>49764993
I congratulate you for creating all new copy pasta op. Right up there with the "Humans Only" copy pasta.

>>49770086
Get this retard out of here.

>>49770086
>implying GM should care about what PCs want

>>49769948
It depends entirely on how it's used.

For example, if alchemy can produce healing potions which literally mend wounds before your eyes, then it's fucking bullshit high fantasy magic.

However, if alchemy is seen as half crackpot science obsessed with the as-of-yet unobtained Philosopher's Stone, and half medieval medicine (you know, healing poultices that could disinfect a wound that would otherwise kill you through bacteria), then I figure that fits into Middle Fantasy.

>>49769997

That's bullshit and you know it. Most of it is myth and legend and monsters that are not, by necessity, magical. There are no wizards running about throwing magic missiles, per OP's complaints.

Hell, Gandalf can't even save people's lives through magic, nor does he know how his own life was saved. Moreover, Gandalf is a demi-god, and his 'magic' exists mostly in his own being.

I don't count glowing swords as being all that magical. They don't actually kill Orcs any better than other swords, they just glow in their presence. In many respects, the glimmer of Orcrist and Glamdring and Sting is inspired by stories of old medieval legend where Dark Ages folks would find well-made steel swords that would reflect the light far better than their pisspoor iron implements. It's the same way that Excalibur is said to "glow like fire."

They're not actually fire swords.

>>49770196
Top Tier presentation of alchemy in Fantasy is where actual medicine from the secretive alchemy guild is so effective as to be mistaken for magic by the common man. And then the Alchemists, high on their own supply, begin to think they're doing magic.

>>49770196

>Frodo and Co take two steps out of the Shire and encounter ancient magical misanthropic trees, ancient zombie kings, and God
>Frodo and Glorfindel are saved by a magic river
>Fellowship is spied on by magical birds
>Legolas can walk on snow
>The Fellowship turns back from climbing Caradhras because the fucking mountain itself says "lolno".
>They later find themselves in a wonderous Elf forest where they're so at peace they don't even realize they're there for a month
>Aragorn is 81 years old at the start of the story

And that's just in Fellowship.

Anyone will call this "magic". You don't because you're just arbitrarily redefining magic to mean "the wizard throws fireballs".

>>49769937
>Gandalf, the archetypal wizard
Because he chooses not to, not because he can't, considering he's a fucking descended angel.

>>49770239
I like the thought of alchemists making dmt and believing it elevates them to another state of being.

>>49769920

Paladins can embody concepts in some settings, can't they? A paladin of drinking would be perfect for Ireland.

>>49769937
>One to describe scenarios with mythical beasts, elves, dwarves, etc. but where magic and wizards are exceptionally rare.
Those have nothing to do with what defines either High or Low Fantasy. The only real distinction between High and Low fantasy is whether the setting is an imaginary world made by an author or Earth as we know it.

>>49769937
>Gandalf, the archetypal wizard, is never throwing fireballs or summoning elementals
That's because he decides not to. When he stops screwing aruond he can go toe to toe with ancient demons of rape and murder (Balrog), and immortal ghost-kings-almost-demigods(nazgul).

>>49770343

>The only real distinction between High and Low fantasy is whether the setting is an imaginary world made by an author or Earth as we know it

I see people on /tg/ throw this definition around all the time. Where does it come from? Is it from a reliable source on the subject (at least as reliable as literary analysts can get) or is it just a meme contrarians made up?

>>49769890
>>49770101
Actually anons, I did some research into medieval longbows (war bows). Their actual draw weight is not known, since bows did not survive very long intact. Today, people estimate their draw weight was between as low as 80-90 lbs and as high as 100-185 lbs. At this point, it should be noted that there are very few people alive today capable of accurately shooting a 180 lb longbow. And when longbows exceed a 100 lb draw weight, you are not supposed to use your upper body strength to draw it, as that can damage your shoulder. Rather, you leave your string hand in place and lean your body weight into the bow to bend it, then raise the bow to the target. This is where the phrase "bending the bow" came from. In this way, archery at higher draw weights relies more on core strength than upper body strength, and I don't think you should penalize female archers in your games, since trained females have good core strength.

>>49767441
I like that too, though I don't mind mages entirely, it would be "I am playing a wise philosopher/naturalist/sage who knows a few of these tricks. Might not be able to cast fireballs, but still knows some cool stuff

>>49770196
>Most of it is myth and legend and monsters that are not, by necessity, magical
>amlost every monster is created through curse or divine intervention
Yeah, absolutely no magic.

>>49770360
It's a meme from a realiable source (i.e. /tg/).

>>49770266
I mentioned the magic river in my post as one of the few examples of actual magic.

And as I said above, mythical creatures =/ magic. The Wights are not summoned by some necromancer with a ritual. The trees are not animated by a druid. They are examples of the weirdness of Tolkien's world without involving mages/witches/wizards/warlocks.

Aragorn being 81 years old is also not magic. It's supernatural only insomuch as it's weird for us. But, it's normal for his race of long-lived men. I said above that there needs to be a Middle Tier of fantasy with Elves, Dwarves, etc. but with Low Fantasy's understanding of magic.

Caradhras doesn't just say "lolno." A literal demigod (Saruman) wills it to be so. And then Tolkien even takes the piss out of Demigods active in the world by making him killable with a knife in Return.

"The Elf forest" (Lorien) is mythical, not magical. A far better example would have been Galadriel's powers as a prophetess. But even this falls into Greek myth tropes and is not direct magic.

Magical birds do not exist in Middle-Earth. All birds have varying degrees of speech, from the Great Eagles to the Crebain to the swallow (I think it was a Swallow) to whom Bilbo speaks in The Hobbit.

>>49770365
>Might not be able to cast fireballs, but still knows some cool stuff
If you can't fight and know only how to light candles throgh magic, why would anyone want you in their adventuring group?

>>49770360
It's one of the older definitions of these two, but I don't think it applies to our standards today. Basically middle-earth and hyperborea are low-fantasy because those are our world in the past.

>>49770401
>And as I said above, mythical creatures =/ magic
>IF HE IS NOT THROWING FIREBALLS ITS NOT MAGIC!
Because you said so? Stop with this bullshit already.

>>49770343
That's not true. Hyboria is often described as Low Fantasy.

>>49770355
Does he throw fireballs to do it or is he just fighting? That's the difference.

>>49770360
It's a bullshit line that meme contrarions made up.

>>49770362
People have made recreations based on the warbows which survived from the Mary Rose.

And yes. Most people today would not be able to accurately fire a warbow. People talk about the "practice" necessary to fire a warbow not because of accuracy but becaue of the sheer amount of strength required.

Still going to penalize female archers.

>>49770365
This is the best way to do it.

>>49770196

>Hell, Gandalf can't even save people's lives through magic, nor does he know how his own life was saved.

Except twice in the Hobbit, when he strikes a number of goblins dead with some sort of spell preventing his own capture, and turns the pinecones into missiles of death when they're chased up those trees. There are also lots and lots of talking animals.

>. They don't actually kill Orcs any better than other swords, they just glow in their presence.

And cut through chains and orc metal with ease.

That's not even getting into the mental combats you get, the dealing with fate and prophecy, the fucking magic ring that's at the center of the stories, the magical properties of mithril coats, people who live basically forever, literally anything the elves do or make, etc.

>>49770427
You would not refer to the events of the Iliad as magic. So fuck off. Everybody knows that OP means wizards roaming around performing feats of sorcery.

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>>49764993
This is dumb, post cute firefighters.

>>49770401
>But even this falls into Greek myth tropes and is not direct magic.
You do realize that magic is an actual thing in Greek myth and most odd things there that are not a result of divine intervention are because of actual sorcerers doing stuff, right?

>>49769890
>I give females -4 strength because i'm an edgy faggot that doesn't want to let people make fun character concepts.

>>49770437

>This one work "written" thousands of years ago doesn't have magic according to my definition, so therefore I'm right.

>>49770437
Even though Diomdes shoots fireballs out of his shield and fights gods?

>>49770437
>Shit in the iliad
>not magic
>A guy who is invulnerable except for his heel because he was made that way by actual fucking magic.

>>49770435
"better at cutting"
"glowing reference is essentially a deep-reference to medieval thoughts about ancient steel swords compared to their shitty iron and how much stronger it was"

Yeah. Duh.

Mithril's not magic. People living forever is not magic. Elves are not, by necessity, magic. Fate and prophecy aren't magic, especially if it can be wrong. That's just Greek myth.

As for the Hobbit, you're right. It's far more a fantasy story. However, Talking Animals are not, by necessity, magic. The Great Eagles, for example, don't talk because of some magic placed on them, but because they're demigods.

>>49770101
I've seen somewhere around 90 to 110ish, Longbowmen were literally deformed from using the damn things. Though it's most likely from overuse of those specific muscles.

>>49764993
>>49770016

>>49770266
>Aragorn is 81 years old at the start of the story
Ladies.

>>49770450
Choose any myth. You don't refer to them as magic. They just have monsters and weird shit because that's the time period, but very rarely do you see wizards performing feats of sorcery (what we commonly understand as 'magic' and the shit OP most runs into with players who want to be kewl wizards).

All I can think of off the top of my head (though I am sure there are more) is King Arthur with Merlin/Morgana.

>>49770437
>You would not refer to the events of the Iliad as magic
>some guy becomes invulnerable after being dipped into special water
>every hero and their mothers wear enchanted armor and weapons
>THIS IS NOT MAGIC
So, again, your definition of magic is throwing fireballs? Lol.

>>49770401

>The Wights are not summoned by some necromancer with a ritual.

They are though, that's exactly what they are, the Witch-King binding spirits of dead nobles of Cardolan to a hellish existence and then turning them loose.

>The trees are not animated by a druid.

Depending on your origin story, they're either animated by the elves, or by Yavanna. What makes that different than a druid doing it?

>Caradhras doesn't just say "lolno." A literal demigod (Saruman) wills it to be so.

Only in the movies. In the books it's actually far less clear whether or not there is any magic in the winter they get, or if it's just a nasty mountain in wintertime. That being said, the miruovour they use to survive up there is pretty explicitly magical, as is Gandalf's burning of the wood without any sort of spark.

>And then Tolkien even takes the piss out of Demigods active in the world by making him killable with a knife in Return.

So? The Hroa of an Ainur can be destroyed by killing it in the same way as a mortal. How is this new? Gothmog got killed by a fucking helmet spike, and Sauron got drowned once, and then killed by Elendil and Gil-Galad and their weapons. What's the different between that and getting your throat slit?

>"The Elf forest" (Lorien) is mythical, not magical.

No, it's quite explicitly magical, unless you want to cast doubt on the reliability of the "testimony" of the fellowship.

>A far better example would have been Galadriel's powers as a prophetess. But even this falls into Greek myth tropes and is not direct magic.

What about when she denies entrance to the forces of Dol Guldur? Or when she makes/gives the Fellowship all those magical items, like the Phial?

>agical birds do not exist in Middle-Earth. All birds have varying degrees of speech, from the Great Eagles to the Crebain to the swallow (I think it was a Swallow) to whom Bilbo speaks in The Hobbit.

So.... all birds are magical? That doesn't really help your case.

>>49770429
>still going to penalize female archers
I mean, it's your choice anon. It's your game. I'm just saying there's grounds to argue that a female could just as effectively use a war bow as a male. Particularly if you only go in the 80-100lb range, since that is plenty to take down a large creature without natural armor. A recommended dear hunting bow is between 40 and 70lbs, and a male olympic longbow is about 70lbs. If female anon >>49770101 was using a 70lb longbow in high school, not even as a full adult, I think there is ground to accurately say that a trained female archer would be just as effective as a male archer.

>>49770485
>(what we commonly understand as 'magic'
No, that what's YOU understand as magic, retard.