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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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>So, you have come to me, the Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, have you?
>What have you came to me for, hmmm?
>My wisdom? Knowledge?
>Treasure, perhaps?
>Well, what have you come for, brave hero? Speak!
>>
>>49651484
Actually I was looking for The Great Dragonfly of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North. Have you seen him?
>>
>>49651484
Travels direction. But I changed my mind, this is confusing as all heck.
>>
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>>49651484
>>
>>49651484
I;m Thinking About Thos Beans
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>>49651901
I made a diagram to explain all this nonsense.

THAT DAMN FROG CAN'T OUTDIRECTION CONFUZZLE US!!
>>
>>49651484
I 'ave come 'ere to inveet you to a great feast at ze court of king Louis, king of ze Franks.
>>
I want some grapefruit juice.
>>
>>49651484
HOLT SHIT, TALKING FROG.

I dunno, what do you have on offer? Doesn't seem like a frog in a pong would have much wisdom or treasure.
>>
>>49651484
I'm just here for the tea party, boss.
>>
>>49651484
Gamabunta, I have come to learn the Sage Arts.
>>
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>>49651484
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>>49651484
Do you know how to get to the Northern Cave of the Western Mountains of the Southern Empire of the East? I. Think I lost my way at the Eastern River of the Western Plains of the Southern Archbishopy of the North.
>>
>>49651484
You're the where of the who with the what now?

I think I need a map, your frogness.
>>
I love squishing frogs.
Especially hoighty-toighty ones what think they're people.

Squishin' you gonna take a long time. I'mma go real slow
>>
I want to find that talking fish that I caught last week.

He said he'd grant my wish if I let him go, but I still have these donkey ears that I got when I accidentally caught this rabbit a couple months ago.
>>
Do you know where my horse is?
>>
>>49652126
>I think I need a map, your frogness.
see >>49652018
>>
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>>49651484
Your daughter.
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>>49652231
So you want to bully the Wug?
>>
You're the Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North?

...oh, I'm sorry.

I was looking for the Great Toad of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North. Do you know where I might find him?
>>
>>49652365
Two lilypads north of the eastern rock that's just south of the fountain of the western sun.

Now gimme a kiss. Ribbit.
>>
>>49651484
the secret of the pepe
>>
>>49652129
I hope you've got sonic protections to hand
>>
>>49651484
Dammit, I was trying to meet the Great Dog of the Northern Pond of the Western Woods of the Southern Kingdoms of the East. How the hell did I end up in Dickfreeze, the North?
>>
>>49652396
Oooh, you see that's a problem... you see, I'm actually allergic to frog lips, your highness. But Toad lips are perfectly fine. So I was going to consult the Toad King on a fair price to sell grains in the Eastern Valley of the Southern Hills of the Western Kingdom of the North, to turn a profit.

I'm afraid I cannot kiss you, for my allergies would cause my face to go red and my palms to get sweaty, t'were I to do so.
>>
>>49652206
Anon Provides.
>>
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>umm... Hello, O Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North. Did I get that right?
Yeah, yeah I think so.
>Good. Anyways Great Frog, I am also a fellow Frog, as you can see, and my furry friend here is Fozzie Bear.
Yeah, hiya How's it goin, Anyways we were hoping you could give us directions out of here. You see we were actually on our way to Hollywood, but my friend here is a terrible navigator-
> *grumble* well its hard to be a good navigator without a map *grumble* *grouse*
And we were hoping you could give us directions to California.
> Or preferably, to the closest gas station, so that we could by an actual map to navigate with.
>>
>>49651484
The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North? Eh.. you don't seem the Great to me. Maybe subjectively Great, the other frogs in the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North aren't that Great, but the frogs of the Eastern Pond of the Southern Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the South are generally just Greater.
>>
>>49651484
Frogdick.
>>
>>49651484
Hello. Could you tell me how to get back home? I was on my way to the kitchen for a snack and got lost.
>>
>>49652929
You ended up at the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North on your way to the kitchen?
>>
[sjis]I was hoping for some directions.[/sjis]
>>
>>49653000
I am not a clever man.
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>>49653000
He said he got lost.
>>
>>49651484
I was in the mood for some frog legs.
>>
>>49651901
>Ahhh, The Great Dragonfly of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North was slain by me, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North three decades ago in a great battle! His domain lies in ruins as punishment for the great insults he had lain upon my people!
>>
>>49651484
I'm here for a Prince, pucker up frogboi.
>>
>>49652022
>Tell me, messenger, why your king has invited me to his court, and not mine for a grand feast? Does he believe that I know not the tricks of man? Begone, for The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North has no wish to dine at his table!

>>49652040
>Very well then. Take your grape juice and begone!

>>49652044
I have wealth and wisdom beyond measure, brave hero! Speak your desire and I shall see it granted! For you to have gotten to me, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, is no small feat indeed!

>>49652054
>Ah, yes, the tea party has been rescheduled for tomorrow. My apologies.

>>49652074
>Fool! I am The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, not some toad! Begone!

>>49652117
>Of course, but first you must tell me a joke. No puns, however!

>>49652126
I am The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North!
>>
>>49653670
>King invite frog to the frog's court.
I'm not sure that's how invitations work.
>>
>>49652342
Tenderly.
>>
>>49652148
>Have no fear, for I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, shall cure your mystical ailment by turning you into a full donkey! Is that not what you wished? Very well then, I shall restore you to your original state before you had those donkey ears!

>>49652183
>I do.

>>49652231
>Hohoho! So you wish to marry Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North's daughter, do you? Then bring me the head of the Weak Drake of the Western Mountain of the Northern Hills of the Southern Kingdom of the East!
>>
>>49652342
Okay, I have to know what degeneracy this is from. For research. You understand of course.
>>
>>49653731
dice+1d20+5 to find the drake of the western mountain of the northern hills of the southern kingdom of the east!
>>
>>49651484
Frogs are cute. I want the Great Fog of the Southern Pond to become my familiar.
>>
>>49651484
Oh great frog, I come with a conundrum.

Our lands are under attack from the Great eagle of the Western Hills of the Southern Mountains of the Eastern Lakes of the Northern Kingdom. Could I possibly enlist your kingdom's aid? I am willing to discuss terms if you so wish.
>>
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>49653731
>>49654345
I will set forth immediately! I will overcome any challenge for her hand!
>>
>>49654414
rest in rip
>>
>>49653731
>>49654414
>>49654512
I return, battered but victorious, but only now do I realize I had my map upside down!

I brought not the head of the Weak Drake of the Western Mountain of the Northern Hills of the Southern Kingdom of the East, but rather the head of the Strong Drake of the Eastern Mountain of the Southern Hills of the Northern Kingdom of the West!

Woe, this fool has failed your challenge, Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North. I will depart in shame.
>>
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>>49654618
Next time just go up, idiot.
>>
Can I be your henchman?

I'm a good ninja
>>
>>49654640
Is Anna a chameleon?
>>
>>49651484
Excuse me lord, but is this the land East if the Sun and West of the Moon? I seek the prince who dwells there, prisoner to the Witch with a nose Three Trells Long.
>>
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>>49651484
Give to me your Relics!!!
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>>49653822
Y-yes! Research!
>>
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>>49651484
A popsicle.
>>
>>49653822
>>49654741

I can't remember the sauce, but I'm pretty sure I found some of her pics on e621
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>>49654778
Mm... I see. This delving may have to wait till post hurricane.
>>
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>>49651484
Oh Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, I am Arthur, King of the Britains. And what I seek, through great peril, is the Holy Grail!
>>
>>49653027
>sjis
Okay, I'm curious. What mysterious code were you trying to invoke here?
>>
>>49651484
O the Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, I, the 7th son of the 2nd wife of the 3rd Seer of the Northern Edge of the Southern Reaches of the Western Swamps of the Northern Kingdom of the South, have come to seek your advice. For two lunar cycles my kin has been persecuted by a foe of the most cruel and wicked kind; a steel eagle with innards of fire that has been conjured up by the grimalkin warlows of the people of the Northern Pond of the Southern Hills of the Western Kingdom of the East. It is my most humble request to ask that if you could open up your vaults of secret knowledge and sagely wisdom and tell us the origin words and the birthing secrets of this ghastly metal beast.
>>
>>49653822
>>49654741
>>49654778

http://beatrizoverseer.tumblr.com/
Beatriz Overseer by Chochi
>>
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>>49655018
>Old lady
My fetish
>Amputee
Not my fetish but I can live with that
>Frog
That'd better be slang for French
>>
>>49655058
Kind of French in this non canon piece.
>>
>>49651484
What is the rarest pepe that lurks in these woods?
>>
>>49651484

>The stranger said to the frog: Oh wise Frog Spirit, I have come seeking humility and balance in all things, but I do not know yet where to start.
>>
>>49655018

Dang, she just Kabedon'ed a shota mouse. Ara Ara indeed.
>>
>>49651484
Well hello there, oh wise Great Frog!
Are you interested in this frog sized hats and walking canes? Come with all sorts of shapes and sizes! We even got one of those nifty "walking cane sword" thingy! All for your froggnes things! We've got all sort of hats - from modest flatcars to posh top hats and fezzes and a little turbans! For a special offer you can buy a top hat, cane and get yourself a frog-sized three piece suit for a discount!
>>
>>49651484
O, Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, I am the 12th Emissary of the 3rd Vizier of the 14th King of the Western Enlightened Monarchy of the Southern Kingdom (Who he himself resides in the Eastern Palace of the Northern City of the Western Enlightened Monarchy of the Southern Kingdom). My liege has been ill for some time, and his Vizier fears that our rivals, principally the Secessionists of the Northern Port of the Eastern Province of the Western Kingdom of the South, may attack at any moment (A fear that may be proven, I fear, as my predecessors perished attempting to cross the lands of the Central Council of the Central Parliament of the Central Republic of the Center). As such, my liege would deign to ask your greatness: Would you allow one of your daughters to marry his princley heir as a sign of friendship?
>>
>>49653613
http://myhentaicomics.com/index.php/Prince-Charming?page=1
>>
>>49654932
>whitetext
>now only available for 4chan pass holders
[sjis] it's ugly as shit
>>
>>49655709
>failing for judenchan gold meme
>>
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>>49655567
>Central Council of the Central Parliament of the Central Republic of the Center

Disgusting neutrals. You never know where they stand.
>>
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>>49651484
I came looking for the rarest Pepe in all the land. You seem exceptionally rare, so I'mma take you home now.
>>
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>>49655642
People seem to fetishize anything
>>
>>49654618
>Pah! You are a fool, yet you are both brave and determined! For this I, That Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, shall let you wed my daughter! Now go and be merry!

>>49654661
>No. I have no need for henchmen to hench for me, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North.

>>49654735
>What relics would you desire, hmmm?

>>49654846
>Very well then, Arthur, King of the Britians! I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, shall tell you that the Frenchmen have the Holy Grail you seek!

>>49655008
>Very well then! I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, shall tell you the secret to defeating this beast. First, find the Western Wizard of the Northern tower of the Southern Kingdom of the East, then give him an offering of twelve gold pieces, an egg, and three straws of barley, all equal in length! Then shall he destroy this foe of yours!

>>49655175
>This knowledge I may not share, else the rarity may go down. Now go!

>>49655419
>Ah, in this you may find you answer, for a mirror is where your journey shall begin, stranger who seeks enlightenment.

>>49655464
>No, for I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, am comfortable. Now go!

>>49655567
>Hmmm... describe this princeling of his, and I shall see whether I may allow him to marry one of my daughters!

>>49655862
>Agreed!
>>
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How do I get this faget to stop moping around and help us fight Magus?
>>
>tfw you weren't worthy enough to be addressed by His Frogness
WHY AM I NOT WORTHY!
>>
>>49657808
>I know many things, but this I shall not tell! For this is something you must learn on your own, adventurer. It will make you stronger for it.

>>49657828
>Point to me your query, and I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, shall see to it!
>>
>>49651484
Oh great and mighty frog, I come only with a question.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
>>
>>49657885
>>Point to me your query,
I asked for they guidance and wisdom in my grand search in yonder passage, or great magnanimous one.
>>49654717
>>
>>49657903
>I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, shall tell you the answer! It is because rainbows are pleasing to my eye.
>>
>>49654717
>>49657924
>Very well then! This is the Land West of the Sun, and South of the moon indeed!
>>
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CAWWW*

*we declare war
>>
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CAAAWWWW*

*seeya fuckers
>>
THE GREAT LORD HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!
Swiftly, we must enter into a tricky union with the Queen of Snakes!
>>
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>>49657998

>I am the Queen of Snakes of the High Mountains of the Middle Kingdom of the Lower Reaches.
>Why do you enter into my hallowed halls this day?
>Do you desire my army?
>Or perhaps my sage advice.
>SPEAK NOW less you waste my time.
>>
>>49657998
You fool!

You would have us treat with the Queen of Snakes of the Southern Shores of the Western Kingdom to the South of the Frozen north on the Continent to the South East? Surely thou jest good sir!
>>
>>49658040
I would like your army please.
Is your army full of sexy lamia girls?
>>
>>49658040
Oh wonderous and beautific Queen, we seek thine aid, or if not then thy wisdom, in defeating the Great Bird Lord of the Sky Empire of Celestial Heavens, who has started war and ravaged many lands, and has even stolen away The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North.
Wilt though not aid us in stopping this warmonger's rampage?
>>
>>49658050
You daft fool, I was speaking of the Queen of Snakes of the High Mountains of the Middle Kingdom of the Lower Reaches.
The one you speak of is the Matriarch of Deer of the Southern Shores of the Western Kingdom to the South of the Frozen north on the Continent to the South East?
>>
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>>49658087

>We have no relation with the Llama King of the High Mountains of Low Mountains of the Middle Queendom of the High Reaches or his Llamataurs of beautiful men!

>>49658099

>The Great Bird Lord of the Sky Empire of the Celestial Heavens has long coveted The Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North.
>It is of no consequence to us that he takes this land and kidnaps its monarch for us.
>Less thine is willing to offer that which we most fondly desire, we will have no audience with yee.
>>
>>49658174
>>It is of no consequence to us that he takes this land and kidnaps its monarch for us.
Then perhaps you'd be interested in reading the reports that your scouts have delivered from the fringes of your land
>>
>>49657998
>Ho? What's this? You would all believe that I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, would be kidnapped!? Nay! I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, had slewn the foul assailant and have returned to my Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North.
>>
>>49653670
>Fool! I am The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, not some toad! Begone!
There's no taxonomic difference, though. Are you a racist, Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North? Because I can't see any other reason to make a distinction between frogs and toads.
>>
Please someone make a map of this magical land
>>
>>49651484
The legendary turtle of I'll blow your damn face off with a gun says fuck off!
>>
>>49657691
>Pah! You are a fool, yet you are both brave and determined! For this I, That Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, shall let you wed my daughter! Now go and be merry!

I never knew my heart could know such joy, oh Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North. I must return to my home in the Northern Keep in the Eastern Reaches of the Western Steppes of the South to make the preparations. My family will be overjoyed by such wonderful news. I will return on the morrow, oh Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North.
>>
>>49652018
god bless this man.
>>
>>49651484

Hello.

My name is Inigo Flytoya. You ate my father.

Prepare to die.
>>
>>49654846
>King of the Britains
>Britains

[Disdain for Saxons intensifies]
>>
>>49659400
>Nay! For I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, have a rivalry with the Insignificant Toad of the Northern Swamp of the Eastern Forest of the Western Kingdom of the South!

>>49660357
>Legendary Turtle with a gun, our duel is not until next week.

>>49661092
>You are mistaken! 'Twas the Insignificant Toad of the Northern Swamp of the Eastern Forest of the Western Kingdom of the South who has slain your father, puny fly-creature!
>>
So this setting we've ended up with is Rikki Tikki Tavi in a fantasy setting, plus a healthy dash of political intrigue, and delivered by way of Terry Pratchett?
>>
>>49663472
Apparently so.

Led by an all-powerful wise and rich Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North.
>>
>>49663472
I'd play it.
>>
>>49651484
Where can I find more rare Pepes like yourself?
>>
>>49651484
Your legs, mon ami~!
>>
>>49651484
I just came by to warn you that the Great Snake of the Southern Thicket of the Western Brushlands of the Northern Kingdom of the East is approaching from East-South-Southeast of you.
>>
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>>49658174
>>
Oh great Frog, tell me, who is the Master of the Universe?
>>
>>49651484
My humblest apologies, I appear to have wandered in by mistake.
>>
I am lost, your Frogness.
>>
>I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, have returned! Speak, brave heroes!
>>
>>49658040
I will not lie milady. I mean to seduce you.
>>
>>49672470
Three things I must know of you, O Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North.

FIRST!

What! is your favorite color?

SECOND?

What! is the airspeed of three left-winged Swallows of the Northern Oak of the Northern Forest of the Southern Republic of the West flying clockwise in tandem as they cross over the Sad Foothills of the Happy Mountains of the very same Eastern Kingdom of the North in which you reside?

And THIRD!

What! is best in life?
>>
>>49673971
>Green! For it is my color, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North!

>Pah! Zero, as there are no left-winged Swallows of the Northern Oak of the Northern Forest of the Southern Republic of the West flying clockwise in tandem as they cross over the Sad Foothills of the Happy Mountains of the very same Eastern Kingdom of the North in which I reside!

>To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!
>>
>>49674613
O Wise and Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, I should have known better than to even think of attempting to try to fool you, the Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North! I realize now my folly! How best can I begin to take the first step of the long and arduous journey in beginning to turn towards the start of making amends and recompensing you, the Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, for the incomparable mistake and slight I have committed in challenging the wisdom and knowledge of the Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North?
>>
>>49674690
>Go forth and gather knowledge of this world, O brave and foolish hero! Go forth and find yourself something in which to look at your own reflection! From there shall your journey begin, so says I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North!
>>
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Do any of you directional animal lords remember where I parked the Wizard's animated carriage? He's gonna kill me if he finds out I lost it.
>>
>>49677646
>I, The Great Frog of the Southern Pond of the Western Woods of the Eastern Kingdom of the North, do know where you parked it.



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