Players love shit they think will make them overpowered. What useless items have you given your pc's? My favorite were bracers that switched places with a command word.
>>48256869Classic Club of Healing. Hittings someone causes 1d4 damage, but heals him for 1d6. Still hurts of course.Also bagpipe of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but only as long as you play it as loudly as you can.
>>48256885>Classic Club of Healing. Hittings someone causes 1d4 damage, but heals him for 1d6. Still hurts of course.You mean club of undead slaying.
+10 Magic projection.None of us is a wizard.The mageslayer got it as a gift.
>>48256869Staff of Disintegration. Five of them, in a wooden crate with straw, coated in a substance something like cosmoline. Players were ecstatic. Disintegration effects are great especially at low level. Staves are crazy good at any level. And five of them?A short while later, the party spellcaster was separated from the group, facing an animated suit of armor in close combat. He activated a staff. The Staff disintegrated into dust. MFW
>>48256869Pendant that changes your armor into gaudy colors like a mood ring.We slipped it into the possessions of the paladin after she acted lawful stupid one too many times.
>>48256869I like having nonlethal malfunctioning magic items. Either made by bad artificiers or simply old and worn. For instance:An item that makes you invisible to yourself. An item that raises your strength when you try to be gentle, or makes you walk faster, but run slower. Sometimes I have potions that do silly things like reminding you that you ve forgotten something, but not what it is, or just gives u useless info like exactly how many grass straws are under your boots. My favorite is the poorly made talking stick of finding, which instead of giving u clues on where to go, gives you clues where not to go.
>>48256869If you attach something to the bracers, do the attached items switch places too?
Wing coins. When you flip them, they stop in the highest point of their arc and hover there, continuing to spin and emitting a humming noise that sets teeth on edge, until their command word is said, at which point they fall normally. Great for annoying the shit out of people when making bar bets.
>Armor of the Stand BearerArmor that makes you pose flamboyantly before combat. It also has a chance to intimidate the opponent if the player does a pose IRL
>>48257783Bad artificers, or just students practicing at a mage college. Heck, one time I used a drunken wizard party as my excuse for a pile of shitty magic items.
>>48257783>makes you walk faster, but run slowerso walking speed boost to any character, but disabled dash action? Sounds like it could be pretty useful actually
>>48256869Magic stones that do nothing but vibrate and stay warm to the touch.
>>48258243You do realize those are going right up my character's ass, right?
>>48258258They were looted from an NPC sorceress.
>>48258275Then I guess I'll wash them first.
>>48256869One of my favourites was the 'wand of conjure wand'. It has one use, and allows you to conjure a wand with one use that allows you to conjure a wand...
>>48258309So, I have an infinite number of sticks?
Honestly, I always prefer giving them items that seem useless and might not even always be magical, but they do have some very situational applications that can be pretty useful if the players figure them out. For example, "Orb of Slope Detection" is a small but perfectly well-formed glass bead that, when placed on the ground, rolls in the direction of a slope if placed on one.As far as straight up magical items that aren't as useful as they sound, a Wand of Teleportation that vanishes from the wielder's hand when activated is always fun. So is the Universally Immovable Rod, especially when it's used in a dungeon. So is the Ring of Might that, when activated, gives an ambiguous answer.
>>48257944[aztec dubstep playing in background]
>>48258328>Universally Immovable RodTHE ABSOLUTE MADMAN>Ring of Might that, when activated, gives an ambiguous answerKekekeked, stolen
>>48258056What makes it so gratifying is when the players Discover some use for one of those items, or say I make a use for them. Like having a riddle guardian asking you how many grass straws you have under your boot, be shocked when the player actually answers, and then get angry that his "impossible riddle" was solved
Socks of Prestidigitation that keep your feet dry.
>>48256869A chalice with infinite water insideand a hat that when it's rised from a head or surfice begins to create winter cold, progressively.
>>48256869Not useless at all. You could use them for long distance communications by tying notes to them and shit, probably a bunch of other things I haven't thought of yet, too. Honestly making creative use of 'useless' magical items is one of my favourite things to see in a party.
Lamp of Illusionwhen lit, it casts an illusion of bright light. it doesn't make any real light at all.
>>48258639>>48258699What would happen if I put the sock of prestidigitation inside the chalice of infinite water?
>>48258727I guess it would stay dry, despite being submerged.
>>48258725Does that mean that everything it lights up is an illusion too?
>>48256896>You mean club of undead slaying.That would totally be worth putting in a game, just for the realization.jpg.
>>48258800Time is an illusion. Space is an illusion. Reality is an illusion. We are all illusions and fantasies of the overgod that dreams the world. There is no fundamental difference between real and illusionary light because both are ultimately illusions. Only the overgod is real. By realizing your own unreality, you gain real mastery of the illusion. It's actually a Cursed Lamp of Philosophy
>>48258751>tfw that anon can't even basic logicI want summer to leave
>>48258639Mass produce these for the army to prevent trench foot. That's a serious problem, yaknow.
>>48258872Does that mean that everything it lights up is true reality?
>>48257944>>48258516I got your back, yo!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM
>>48258639You do understand that a PCs gonna brutally and mercilessly kill each other for this pair, right?And for a pair of breeches that ALWAYS stays clean.
>>48258541>Universally Immovable Rod>Because linear movement is relative, it stays on the Earth>Because rotational movement is absolute, it flies across the world at the speed of its rotationI'd try and map its path and avoid it. Maybe try and lure baddies near it. It'll pass by at the same time every day.
>>48258328>"Orb of Slope Detection" is a small but perfectly well-formed glass bead that, when placed on the ground, rolls in the direction of a slope if placed on one.You mean a ball
>>48256869The ring of pudding pop. It's a ring with a cognac diamond that tastes exactly like chocolate pudding.
>>48259217>the big bad is giving a monologue while you are standing there, more interested about licking your ring
Seamus Young's balancing rod is a classic: A rod that stands upright when placed. If you have an RPer in the group, the hat that drops INT, but makes your character think it's been raised is good.
Bump. Best thread in a while.
ITT, Ribbon's shopping list.
>>48259202Wow, we've got a genius here!
Helm of Invisibility: This helmet makes your head, and only your head, completely invisible. The helmet, however, is not invisible at all.
>>48259720Does it look like this?
>>48259720Bracelet of Trees: A bracelet that makes its wearer immediately aware of the location of the nearest tree.
>>48259740Exactly like that. The faceplate is riveted shut.
>>48258989>You do understand that a PCs gonna brutally and mercilessly kill each other for this pair, right?Obviously. That's why they were in that chest after all. Every round of pvp is a round I didn't have to plan.
>>48259744You are a motherfucking idiot. This item is worth any price you would bo offered.And the pic is not even covering half of possible places where ability to locate tree would be priceless
>>48259744Indestructible Ingot:An ingot of lightweight metal, created by a dwarven wizard. It is thoroughly indestructible, and cannot be damaged by any means. However, it is also impossible to melt it, carve it, hammer it, or shape it in any way whatsoever.
>>48256885I'm doing something similar. I'm playing a cleric with smiting spell and a crossbow to shoot cure spells into my allies.
>>48256869Depending on how tightly fitted those bracers were, that could really fuck up your wrists.
>>48259776There are a lot of useless, free-standing trees sitting in the middle of deserts, boyo. It would be a useful guideline, but it would just help you pick a potentially shorter straight line to walk in after enjoying your shade.
>>48259777I'm sure I could think of some uses for that. Stuff it inside a cannon, use it to jam up a traditional 'closing wall' trap, stick it in front of a Mcguffin-powered spell, that kind of thing.>>48259812It'd at least let you know where water is. And if there's no water, all you have to do is burn the tree down and use the bracelet again.
>>48258590>Like having a riddle guardian asking you how many grass straws you have under your boot, be shocked when the player actually answers, and then get angry that his "impossible riddle" was solvedThat kind of thing would clearly be you throwing them a bone for giving them a shit item and is not at all gratifying to a player
>>48259777Just use it as the head of a hammer>>48259783Crusader's Crossbow?
>>48259834>lightweight metal as the head of a hammer
>>48259777Crystal Ball of Incredulity:A crystal ball that can answer any Yes/No question once per day. It has a 50% chance of being incorrect. Created by a wizard with a gambling addiction, and an irrational fear of two-sided objects.
>>48259720Wouldn't this be good for pretending you're some sort of monster or something? It could also be used to conceal your identity
>>48259104CLANGWhat the fuck was that!?
>>48259911A few minor chuckles: Wand of Raise Dead:Once cast, the target dead body begins to levitate.Potion of Spider Climb:Once consumed, the user can climb a spider, a giant spider, or a pile of spiders, flawlessly. Alternatively, any spiders you splash it on will be able to climb anything perfectly.Created by the same wizard who created the famed Potion of Fish Swim.Impervious Armor:An ancient set of immaculate heavy plate armor that is impossible to damage or destroy. Whenever it would take damage, it momentarily phases into another plane.
>>48259846Not all hammers have to weigh a metric ton. A hammer doesn't have to be much heavier than a few pounds
>>48259979>Once cast, the target dead body begins to levitate.Hmmm... how much weight can it carry?
>>48260012I like the way you think.
>>48259776The catch is that the tree isn't necessarily still alive.
>>48258309If you found some way to combine it with recharging magic, you might be able to make a nuclear explosion of wood splinters.
>>48259588O stop it, you
Compass of Vampirism LocationPoints towards the nearest vampire. Will almost always lead you to a female mosquito or other bloodsucking beasty.
>>48258901Or lights up anything that isn't a illusion, probably.
>>48259979>Once consumed, the user can climb a spider, a giant spider, or a pile of spiders, flawlessly. Alternatively, any spiders you splash it on will be able to climb anything perfectly.This is dangerous. You will turn PCs into spider breeders
>>48259812There is shade, potential food, shadow, water, firewood...>>48260045It's still a tree, you know? Having wood in the middle of literal nothing is still nice>>48259824This anon gets it
>>48260139Well if you're desperate to find a lawyer
>>48260139100% gonna steal it. They are gonna find a "greater gem of blooddrinker detection" and Ima make them shit their pants next time they approach any castle or cromlech or cemetary. (Vampires in my setting are really really tough and scary shit.)
>>48259792>give them to the evil warlord as a gift, use the command word, rip his wrists off, murderhobo the fuck out of him.
The Fire Distinguisher.Correctly determines what is and is not fire.
>>48258639/out/ here, would commit mass murder for this one
My personal favorite is the hat that makes everyone you are not hiding from convinced that you just became harder to detect. It doesn't actually make you, it just convinces them it does.For everyone you might want to hide from, even if you are not aware of their presence or existance, you are as easy to detect as if you were blinking with a bright strobing light, even if you don't look any different. They don't even need eyes to detect you.Using this in my Campaign was hilarious, because everyone on the party could attest that it works, while I allways rolled my detection rolls for foes behind a GM screen and they allways made the check, resulting in a lot of confusion and chaos.
>>48258365the wand disintegrates when it is used
>>48260332I've got to be honest, but depending on how the GM plays the rest of the game, the party could start thinking that he's just fudging the rolls to railroad.
>>48256869>Broom that makes things dirty by creating dust.They started using it to put out fires.
>>48260435It's their fault for using magical artifacts that they have not confirmed the effect of. No mercy. It's like drinking a potion you know nothing about and being surprised when it's actually a sleeping potionAlso, if it only ever happens to one player... make observation, form hypothesis, test hypothesis.
Mysterious SoapSoap that makes you no cleaner than you were before you used it. However, it makes you and everyone else think the user is cleaner. The soap has a nice, fragrant and relaxing aroma, which is actually an olfactory hallucination it creates.Invisible PenPen that uses invisible ink to write. It's completely impossible to detect what's written with it though. By manufacturing error approximately 23.5% of these don't have ink.Wand of TransmutationTransmutes items into chocolate coins.
>>48259918faceplate rivited shut so it cant be opened. literally just a steel helm. soon as you take it off, you head comes back.
>>48260521>Transmutes items into chocolate coins.In any medieval setting that would be stupid valuable.
>>48259979impervious armor>best cursed item ever.
>>48260012About as much as the pressure the body can withstand before no longer being considered a body.
>>48260498You're thinking in-character and keeping the situation in-character. You can't control how the group thinks, and some of them may be thinking out-of-character and instead of realizing what the hat does, suspects that the GM is fudging rolls.It's a caution that this magic item will not work for every group and every player, because I've had GMs who will simply drop magic items they thought were interesting into the game without thinking about how the players as people will react to them being present. It's the girdle of masculinity/femininity all over again. The characters may be able to handle it, but will the players themselves?
>>48256869Prim and Proper Purse.It's impossible to lose it, have it stolen, or open it unless you're the correct owner. It also can hold unlimited amounts of gold, and convert said gold to food or sundry items on demand. Never run out of rope again, candles for days etc. It runs extortionate prices though.It also eats gold when breaches of etiquette occur.
>>48256869I like to put objects that at the same time they are mostly useless, they are cool, like the Belt of Duel, when you move your hands slowly at the side of this belt, it summons a ball of hay that slowly rolls past you.There is also the Thunderpunch Gauntlet, when it hits something at fast speeds, it sounds like thunder, and this one is not magic, it has some air entrances to make the sounds.
The Vast Satchel.A handbag that can hold an infinite amount of stuff.You can never find that one item you want when looking in it.
The Hat of False CharismaThe wearer of this somewhat old-fashioned hat believes that it grants +6 to Charisma and Intelligence. In fact, it penalizes Charisma and Wisdom by 6, to a minimum of one. The cursed wearer rationalizes his failures as being due to outside factors unless given a Remove Curse.
>>48260876Is it a fedora?
>>48260895"greater hat of you turned into a neckbeard"
>>48259777There was that barbarian who specialized in using *bricks*. He even had a masterwork brick of +1.
My party was given a choice of magic items. The party Alchemist took the Snakeskin Tunic"Tunic, SnakeskinAura moderate abjuration and transmutation; CL 8thSlot chest; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.DESCRIPTIONA snakeskin tunic is a tight, form-fitting shirt crafted from the scales of a giant snake. When worn, it grants a +1 armor bonus to AC, a +2 enhancement bonus to Dexterity, and a +2 resistance bonus on saving throws against poison."The Alchemist gained no actual benefit from it. He was immune to poison, wore armor and cats grace was put up in every fight.The item was picked for a single reason.>A snakeskin tunic is a tight, form-fitting shirt crafted from the scales of a giant snake.
>>48256869One goes on your wrist, the other goes around a dead cat carried by your heavily-muscled lootslave.
>>48260876>>48260895>>48260948In NetHack there is an item called a dunce cap, which autocurses when worn and fixes INT and WIS at 6. It is outwardly indistinguishable from the cornuthaum, a magical hat based on the traditional image of the pointed wizard's cap, which grants randomly-activating clairvoyance and certain extra benefits, including CHA +1, to wizards.
Something only monks could use: Bear HandsOf a monk fights bare handed after having touch the Bear Hands for at least 5 seconds he becomes cursed so that every time he fights bare handed the Bear Hands materialize on his hand, making him not bare handed, losing any bonuses from fighting bare handed and deal 1d3+1 damage plus appropriate stats. Exotic WeaponThis was all because i hated the smug fucktard who was playing monk in my PF game
>>48260646Maybe my group just does not consist of D&D grognards and meta-gamers? This is no game with strangers they know me better.
>>48261161Monk weapons exist
>>48261371It wasn't a monk weapon
>>48261161>This was all because i hated the smug fucktard who was playing monk in my PF gameDo you also push old ladies into traffic and challenge paraplegics to foot races? Monks in PF are so shit they're their own punishment. Adding on insult to injury is just being shitty.
>>48261458Yes i do if the old ladies and paraplegics continue being smug assholes who always give backhanded compliments, refusing to actually stop being an asshole and then snarked their way through encounters and always complaining about the difficulty not being high enough because they are not fucking corpses and quadriplegics after it.Also foot races sound like a horrible magical realm
>>48259979All I'm hearing is that I need to turn myself into a spider before splashing myself with the potion.
>>48256869Impenetrable Plate Armor>A rather mundane looking suit of armor, that cannot be dinged, dented, damaged, destroyed or otherwise opened in any way. It's also impossible to put on.
>>48264176Better:>Perfectly Safe ArmorArmor which is truly invulnerable, and protects its wearer from any external force.To prevent its safety from being breached, it cannot be removed.
>>48261946>Play a druid >Shift into a spider >Splash potion on self >Start climbing the air >"It said perfectly climb ANYTHING, didn't it?"
>>48264176>Tie armor to front of cart >Smash your way through the world
>>48260839Another site I visit FunnyJunk, if you must know, has an PbP-RP section, where you start as 1 of 4 base classes. (Fighter/Wizard/Cleric/Rogue)Rogue's start with that very item, The Vast Satchel, filled to the brim with every weapon type imaginable, various items, foodstuffs and even magical artifacts. Only problem is that you have no control over what you get. Sometimes you get the Everburning Sword, sometimes you get the Piece of Toast.
>>48256869Boots of Water Walking>Lead-lined boots that allow the wearer to walk through any body of water (liquid) as briskly as if it were air. >Only when the wearer is completely submerged of course.
>>48264777Potion of Water Breathing and that item becomes a solid part of any escape plan.>Good luck catching me, I'm behind 7 fish.
>>48264822>Potion of Water BreathingEvery time you take a breath of air, you breath in water instead.Sorry, you're not amphibious.
>>48256869Convexing Mirror>A small, ornate, hand mirror that always reflects an exaggerated image. >Facial features are slightly distorted while clothing colors might appear brighter than they are.>Environments such as hallways or structures will relect a door or guard that isn't there.
>>48256869Helm of comprehend languages. Instead of giving the wearer the ability to understand any language, the helm itself does so, and when worn, loudly shouts translations in the common tongue
>>48264946>*teleporta behind you*Wow.
>>48256869Pacifist Blade>a truly stunning work of craftsmanship. The sword is perfectly balanced, jewel encrusted and sharp enough to cut down an oak with but a flick of the wrist.>unfortunately the sword abhors violence and will actively avoid it. When attempting to draw in combat, the sword will stay sealed in it's sheath. If used offensively or defensively in any way, it will avoid landing blows at all costs while verbally berating it's wielder. Sometimes calling for help in the process.>if the sword is forced to harm someone, it will launch into an uncontrollable sobbing wail. The emotional tirade won't end until the sword can speak to a cleric, in private, to confess it's sins and seek penance.
>>48265314Little did the fucker know, I was a hologram this whole time.
>>48265118Concaving Mirror>Provides a +2 bonus to dungeoneering checks. Magnifies air currents, reveals darkened areas, outlines water sources
>>48256869Arrow of swiftness>> anyone shot by this arrow moves at double speed until the arrow is removed
>>48259783Confirmed for new Overwatch character.
>>48256869Amulet of Minor Destruction Every d10 minutes, an item worth less than 10 gp (chosen by the GM) within 50 feet of the amulet will vanish. There is no getting it back.
>>48256885>UselessUh, anon, that's an amazing torture device.
>>48266279The club or the bagpipes?
>>48266308Both, actually. The club is self explanatory, while you can use the bagpipes to rudely interrupt a hanging or royal ball.
>>48256869Have the players find a perfectly preserved wizard, who appears to have died of asphyxiation. He's wearing a strange ring that radiates incredible abjuration magic. Nothing the players do can pierce the shield, short of a well-worded wish spell.
>>48266375Damn it, now I have to put that in my game.
>>48257852Pc's never thought of that, but yes... They did.
>>48265155That's actually really useful, although probably going to garner strange glances from the natives
>>48260163>Concrete reality lights up just fine>Does not help enlighten the user to philosophical concepts
>>48266389Knowing my players, they'd probably just start dragging around an invincible corpse.
Not magic items but during my first D&D character creation I bought a ton of stuff from the equipment page, the others made fun of my for buying all the stuff... until I saved us multiple times with them, like using the crowbar and spade to jam close doors so we could escape, or a sack of salt to Preserve hunted meat on long trips that we were starving on, or using ink and pen+ paper from a blank book in conjunction with animal messenger to convey complicated battle plans to win a war.
>>48256869Weapons of Unsafe Returning (your bladed weapons fly back like an unsteady boomerang)
this bow adds +1d6 damage to thrown arrows!
>>48264341Getting pretty Exalted in here.
>>48265759You mean the TF2 medic?
>>48257944So a group of warriors wearing them become the Ginyus?
>>48256869The ability to turn himself into string. Sadly the guy reads Jojo so it was far from useless.
>>48260285Could be handy if illusions are involved.
>>48260461>Your cleric fails to avoid the pressure plate. It clicks, closing all exits from the room and filling it with fireSWEEP JENSON, SWEEP FOR OUR FUCKING LIVES!
>>48259979>>48260012>>48260615>Wand of Raise dead> acquire a dead body, preferably fresh> tie heavy equipment to it, make it levitate and hover above ground on your chest level> now you have a cart that you can push around to transport stuff. super handy in swamps and for general travel.Also ability to lift stuff at any(?) height is amazing. Imagine sneaking to a town wall, stealth killing a guard, tying grenades and bombs to his body and making him levitate to the level of guards on the wall. fuck yes.BUT IF YOU ORDER NOW and find a really big and mean corpse (horse,cyclops,cave spider,elephant, or a FUCKING BLUE WALE if you want to be extra mean) then lift it really, really high during dark night, you could make a neat trap to lure your enemies under for a glorious splat.
>>48256983epicyou know, sometimes i like to wake up in the morning and justyell at women on the internet
>>48260535Could be used to look around a corner at something with heat vision.
>>48258639As someone with chronically sweaty feet to the point that I will develop athlete's foot if I wear shoes for more than about 7 hours at a time, I'd kill someone in front of their own grandmother for these.
>>48271363More or less. It was a naval campaign though, so they were putting out fires on the boat.
>>48267539>>48266389>>48267039>Wear that necklace that provides infinite airNow all you have to do is get around needing to eat, assuming you can't remove the ring yourself.
>>48271583You also need to drink inside the shield, also shit and piss somewhere anon. If you have decided to be a smart fuck, GM will also step up his game. You probably would have trouble walking around (as spherical forcefield won't fit trhough usual doorways), and you probably wouldn't be able to grab objects outside. Have fun trying to open a door with a key for example.
>>48270136Wasn't that One Piece rather than Jojo? Though yes, Jojo is full of similar "seemingly useless" stuff like the kid who could play rock paper scissors for wagers on anything and the wagers always had to be immediately paid in full.
>>48271696I mean, I'm only trying to solve the immediate limitations of this. Obviously you could skirt most of these problems by being a construct or an undead, outsider or something. The problem is the inevitable escalation that results and it either ends up with you being dead or Fiat making you so. There are ways to skirt the doorways (shrinking yourself) Also the forcefield wasn't explicity spherical, could just be personal range. and grabbing objects could be solved by telekinetics in whatever form that takes. Obviously it's still an arms race, but if you're GM isn't going to be a dickhead about it, you can actually use it. Problem is he WILL be a dickhead, considering it's invulnerability, so he has every reason to do so.
>>48271696Basically as soon as you equip the ring you're doomed to drown in your own piss.
>>48271884Not if you drink it first! Also solves water problem!>4 days later"...Fucking kill me"
>>48271901So, anything below your neck is going to look like pic related, you have no food, and you have to drink your own piss to survive. All this assuming you can even manage to remove the ring from its previous owner in the first place.Fun, fun, fun!
>>48271855I like the idea of it completely coating every part of your body like impenetrable ceran wrap, down to the last microbe. Coated in this way, you would be unable to breathe or process food, and you would die a slow, painful death.
>>48271517The helmet isn't invisible though, just your head while wearing it.
>>48260351The dust would still be made of wood, right? It's even better kindling. And if you can rig it to spam activate, it's a dust cloud.Potentially explosive dust cloud.>>48258879>>48258751>>48258727Yeah, the water does not permeate the sock's material. It is inside the sock's cavity and outside, but the sock remains dry.There may also be a constant creation and annihilation of water going on it's border, but that's no effect to the outside of the cup.>>48258699>A chalice with infinite water insideI have a whole desert oasis starting with one of those things.There were wars fought over another.>>48258800Yeah that's how I run illusions of that sort.The lamp shows you what you /think/ is in the illuminated room. It doesn't care what's really there.You could use it as a holodeck with a bit of concentration practice.>>48259758Aw man that drops the fun shenanigans.Otherwise rising it and spooking people would be awesome.>>48271410So, fallout corpse-storage exploit.>>48269894Spider SMA is the best thing ever.>>48264176Polymorph to slime, slither in, fill it, turn back into human.Note that the suit may also be immovable due to fused joints, but with the right spell choice you can just turn to goo again.May not work on >>48264237 as it may prevent liquids from entering due to safety reasons.>>48264946>original recipe comes from unamphibious mermen>>48271583>>48271583>>48271696Ring of Sustenance, Prestidiation.>>48271733Yea it was a high-end facet of Doflamingo's power.Turning /everything/ into strings.Still, JoJo provides the necessary attitude just as well.>>48272057Putting it on a golem still has no problems.
>>48272152>putting it on a golem still has no problems.Well, yes, but since pressure waves can't penetrate the shield, it can't obey commands.
>>48272152>Ring of Sustenance, Prestigitation.Still drowning in piss.
>>48271977What if you cut your finger off
>>48256869>Helm of Third Person ViewA helm without eyeslots. While worn, the wearer's vision originates from a position a few feet behind and a couple feet above his head. A highly disorienting experience.
>>48258872Also you are the overgod that dreams the world. You just forgot about it.
>>48271733I think he was referencing the fact that Jolyne Cujoh's stand is literally made of strings (if I recall correctly)
>>48261161You know that kicking, elbow or knee strikes, headbutting or vigorous humping are all valid forms of unarmed combat, don't you? Having your hands full doesn't change anythng.
>>48260710>a ball of hayyou do know that tumbleweeds are a real plant?
This thread is the reason my players will hate downtown magic bazaars
Forget-Me Stick>A Magical Rod made of polished oak. Any humanoid struck by the Rod instantly forgets the last 1d4 hours. A successful Wis Save (DC20) will halve this effect. If used in combat, the victim gains advantage on the Savings Throw.>3 charges.Ring of Darkness>Putting on the Ring blinds the wearer for 1d6+1 hours.Invisible Helmet>A helmet...that's invisible...
>>48274053>>A helmet...that's invisible...This would be incredibly useful if you can get it on. Imagine lines of soldiers approaching in nothing but padded under gear, and arrows just bounce right off of them.
Wand of time stop>All clocks in a 60 ft area malfunction and stop tickingGauntlets of heated fist>A pair of wool gauntlets that keep your hands warmHoming lasso>When thrown and held by its other end, this rope ties itself and grants a +4 bonus to attack rollsMagnetic mallet>This mallet exerts a special force towards any metallic item, repelling them for a -2 on attack against metallic alloysWhistle of summon water mount>A giant rubber duck capable of floating the character's weight appears on its close surroundings every time the whistle is blown
>>48256869A trick ring of detect magic. It detected magic alright, no matter where you were or what you pointed it at. Took months for the wizard to figure out it was a scam.
Coat of Fake JewelryIt looks like an ordinary coat, but digging around in the pockets reveals rings, necklaces, earrings, the works, and it never seems to run dry. Of course, every bit of it is utterly fake, brass made to look gold-ish in the right light, colored glass stones, tin made to look silver, the works. Now, for the right kind of con artist, it's invaluable, but for the average person it's pretty much worthless.
>>48274496>infinite brass>infinite glass>infinite scrap metalDude. What.
Numenera is full of this shit. Once my players defeated some mutant lizard who wielded an axe too big for any of them to use. One player used the gimmicky thingy of levitation he had, and them they gave the levitating useless giant axe to the old crazy time-slipping grandpa nano player. He used it as an intimidation tool.
>>48259202Normal balls may be uneffective at detecting slopes of 1-3 degrees
>>48269928She's a Sniper
>>48260168These aren't even spidersThese are Harvestmen, also arachnids, but harmless and fucking afraid of humans
>>48264176Animate it.Posessed invincible armor will rage through anything that can't dispel magic.
>>48267539An invincible corpse is, in of itself, a great semi-useless magic item. While, yes, indestructible anything is always useful, certain sizes and shapes make it unwieldy to use for anything you want an indestructible whatsit for.
>>48268729Does the bonus apply to all thrown weapons, or just arrows? Since it's more fun to find uses for useless junk, remove the string, carry it in your off-hand, and market it as the rod of great throwing. Bonus points for shoe-horning in a reference to how it makes objects behave more like arrows, and that's why it looks like a bow.
>>48273526That's the joke. It summons a tumbleweed when you slowly reach for your weapon. It's called the Belt of Duel.Easily synergizes well with the Gun of High Noon, which automatically hits and criticals once per tumbleweed within thirty feet.
>>48265397This would be astonishingly useful for literally anything that requires an edged tool besides combat.Cleave bone in surgery, split rock in a quarry, be a lumberjack of unparalleled ability.It would work even better than power tools for construction work.
>>48274757I think he means that the Medic has a Crossbow that can be used to heal allies.
>>48274520My thoughts exactly. Hell, even the fact it's costume jewelry doesn't mean it's cheap. You ever try to buy non-plastic shit at a costume store? Not expensive, but it ain't free neither. Free products sold at greater than free price means total profit.>>48274686Thank you for pointing that out. That would make it a fantasy version of a bubble level. Now I envision a gnome architect giving the PCs a confused look at their insistence one of his trades most common tools is totally useless.
>>48275634The joke did not escape me, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to guess that you meant tumbleweed when you said hay. Hay is deliberately-dried grass. Humans make it out of grass to feed to animals.Tumbleweed is tumbleweed. Tumbleweeds make them to spread tumbleweed seeds.They are different organisms. They also behave differently. A lump of hay will not roll by dramatically unless you spend an hour carefully drying and glueing it into shape, it's either going to be the wrong shape to roll or the right shape but too heavy or high enough winds will tear it apart.This is because tumbleweeds have used evolution to become good at being blown around by winds, whereas hay has not. By the time grass has become hay, it is no longer part of the gene pool, and farmers do not select for hay bales that fucking roll away in light winds
-Book of Unspeakable Horrors: A book that seems to be bound in the skin of an otherworldly monster. Inside is a truly terrible romance novel.-Spyglass of Fate: when you look into the spyglass, it will show you exactly where you will be if you walk in the direction you were pointing it-Cloak of Illusive Night: when you cover your body with this cloak, you think that you are invisible, when in fact you are not-That One Ring: when you put on this ring, you are reminded of a ring of power, but you can't quite put your finger on which one-Banjo of Summoning: When you play this instrument, it summons a guy who hates the banjo and tells you to knock it off-Amulet of Water Breathing: Insantly fills users lungs with water-Sword of Dragonslaying - Gives obvious advice on slaying dragons-The Fire Distinguisher - When pointed at an object, tells you if it's Fire or not.-Amulet of Reverse Gravity - When used, it reverses the gravity of the Amulet and amulet only, and it flies up to the sky1-The Rope of Truths from a Certain Point of View, whoever is tied up with this rope must tell the truth or what any being they know may believe the truth to be-The book of Charisma, this book passes all charisma saves and checks-The Horn of Dignity, summons allies just in time to give you a proper burial -Clothes of perfect fit, if donned they become whatever the wearers deepest darkest wish for clothing-The double headed axe of truths, One axe head always tells the truth and the other always lies, both of them have a -10 to all knowledge checks-Rod of desire, glows with the light of a torch when the bearer is aroused-Scroll of Party Starter: Everyone’s clothes and armor teleports 10 feet to the left-Ring of Bugs - Putting the ring on causes the wearer to uncontrollably read the surface thoughts of all insects in a ten foot radius.
>>48275814I'm not the guy who wrote the item, just the one who responded to you. But I think he was trying to make a tumbleweed joke without explicitly using the name of the plant so that you have to make an inference from his description, and ball of hay is a decent description of a tumbleweed if you've never seen one before.
>>48275980>scroll of party starterThank you for making that reference
>>48261161Sounds like you're a retard.
>>48271696Ring of sustenance, or simply be something that doesn't need to eat/drink.Stay outside when you fight.
>>48256869I was running a one shot game based on Indiana Jones style artifact hunting in an el dorado style city that appeared from the mists and one of the first items they found was a pair of magical goggles which when put on seemingly did nothing. Turns out they were a pair of "goggles of Mundane Sight" for one of the npcs that was born with the ability to see magic auras in magic items, she had crafted those goggles because she was pretty much blinded by the saturation of magicalness in el dorado.
>>48275980>everyone's clothes and armor teleport ten feet to the left....can't tell if hitchhiker's reference or if I'm just an idiot...
>>48276226Still have to get it off the dead wizard (you can't)
>>48276391Think it's more of a Rocky Horror reference.
>>48275101>animated armor runs amok>enemies dog-pile it and tie it to a tree
>>48275688Agreed.The only thing my players did with it was use it as a grappling hook and a doorstop.
>>48256869The plot hook:Whirling then releasing this hook will cause it to attach to the nearest plot-crucial item.
A rod that does nothing
>Ring of insect dominanceA small cloud of mosquitoes follows you at all times and obeys your every command, except "Quit biting me"
>>48276475I remember it being from the Hitchhiker's Guide TV series, from one of the guide entries (or maybe the Encyclopedia Galactica), though not sure what said entry was about.
The Great Ring of Magical Finding. When worn, will show you the location of the nearest enchanted item. Usually the finger you put the ring on.
>>48276391>>48278294It's from the movie, in a digression about early alternate uses for the infinite improbability drive. Might also be in the book as well, it's been a while since I read it.
>>48278348Here's the actual quote:"The principle of generating small amounts of finite improbability by simply hooking the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian Motion producer (say a nice hot cup of tea) were of course well understood — and such generators were often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess's undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left, in accordance with the theory of indeterminacy.Many respectable physicists said that they weren't going to stand for this, partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sorts of parties."
>Boots of unnoticeable growth.If you wear the boots, from your own first person perspective you appear to be 6 inches taller, but to anyone else you don't appear to have changed in size whatsoever.
>>48278483>partly because it was a debasement of science,And yet here we are using a network of worldwide communication and the repository of all human knowledge to shitpost about black people, shemales, and board games on a mongolian rug-weaving forum. Science is dead and we're fucking her corpse.
>>48275980that spyglass of fate is actually pretty fucking OP and broken.>whip out the spyglass in the beggining of a dungeon hallway>see an image of myself walk forward a few steps but then be impaled by spike traps in the floor>casually wave my hand and levitate across while I laugh at the rogue fiddling with disarming the thing
>>48275980>Spyglass of Fate: when you look into the spyglass, it will show you exactly where you will be if you walk in the direction you were pointing itI see some uses for this.
>>48259978>Universally Immovable Rod of Dragon Slaying
>>48278233The ring draws nearby mosquitoes you pass by up to a certain amount, and they move in a cloud so you cant command them individually. Plus, most of your body is covered in mosquitobites, even if you're resistant to them the ring makes you vulnerable again, taking like -4 to concentration checks or similar
>>48279312They're mosquitoes, dude, their lifespan is an average of two weeks.Plus, imagine if the man-sized mosquito decides you look like a nice evening snack
>>48279501Feeding your monsters and making an example of those who disobey you. Nice.
>>48256869Rod of self-cancellation
>>48256869Those bracers would be hilariously good for sneaking shit past guards >Attach whatever to one bracer >Have your buddy wear it, while you wear the clean one >Walk through checkpoint >Say command word, you now have the thing you need to get past guards, buddy has the clean one >Buddy walks through checkpoint It'd be stupid good assuming you could attach things to them
>>48259832Hey, unless I sacrificed a lot for that item, I'd be pretty hysterical
>>48280522It'd also be good for assassinations. >give bracer to target as a gift>don't inform of magical properties >coat one bracer with nerotoxin>switch bracers
>>48274445It's detecting itself.
>>48280706It has infinite range
>>48278831>>48279104I believe the joke is that it shows you the place you will be at, not what will happen when you get there. So exactly like a spyglass
>>48259846A three pound hammer is great.A two pound, not bad.A one pound? Okay, it's still unbreakable and will transfer all of the force in the exact shape of the ingot.
>>48259104Does the solar system not move through the galaxy? The galaxy through the universe?
I currently have:Spell that makes its target turn to butter after it is killed.A normal Gold coin, autographed by the setting God of luck. The signature makes it so the coin Cannot be tampered in any way and will always provide a fair result.Gravediggers boots: can't be effected by any sort of bad terrain while in a graveyard.
>>48282253Depends on the setting.
>>48256869Necromancer's enchanted shovel: the only shovel capable of digging half a hole. It's maker wanted to dig a hole in half the time and settled for this.Master spyglass: sees through everything. Everything.Coat of forced compliments: enchanted to look tacky; however, it fits it's owner really well so people feel inclined to offer a complement (but don't actually like it).
>>48282253> tactical hammer ....slap some hockey tape on the handle of this bugger an let lose brah
>>48258639Huh... My DM gave a similar item, exept the socks could Secrete grease
>>48282490In order:Start a crab shack, Waffle Barn, Pancake pit, your choice of any foodstuff requiring butter.Do I really need to mention the usefulness of an always fair coin?I've participated in quite a few graveyard battles to the death recently. Those would be super nice to have.
>Deck of Many ZingsBox of cards, where each card bears a witty retort that may or may not fit the situation at hand.>Griddle of MasculinityEnchanted cookware that causes those who eat things made on it to feel confident, macho, and empowered.>Wand of Create FireA giant strike-anywhere match. One use.>Holy CymbalsGiant pair of cymbals, when used causes sonic damage to any undead and evil creatures who can hear the sound. Annoys other creatures.>Ring of Detect WeevilDetermines if there are weevils in your general vicinity.>Glass Jaw of VecnaGrants incredible magical power, user goes down from one solid hit to the face.
>>48256869A music box that only plays slow clap applause.
>>48284051That's going to get annoying fast, especially when some chucklefuck pulls up a slow clap recording on youtube and the whole group laughs along with their shitty breed of predictable and unironic humor.
>>48283973>a small elegant fork from some noble's silverware becomes a near mythic item when the town comes under siege. Indeed, the fork appears to have the magical ability to detect lesser weevil and has saved many a poor sod from starvation.
>>48283973Griddle of Masculinity sounds pretty dope, especially if it granted some kind of mechanical bonus, not gonna lie.
>>48284124I'd be great if it was sentient and would obnoxiously shout it's opinion of food at dinner parties.
>>48280624How wouldyou put it on yourself though?
>>48275980>-The Horn of Dignity, summons allies just in time to give you a proper burialpretty broken if you're already doomed, at least in situations where you would be taken alive for torment, or the foes would make to desecrate your body if they had the chance. Just give it to the advanced guard of your forces, you'll always be there in time if they get overrun.
>>48256869>Hole-y platemail: platemail blessed by the God of doorways, openings and synonyms. Perks are it makes you more likely to pick locks, but extremely vulnerable to well aimed arrow strikes
>>48284313not if they are overrun, but you'll be there just after they are overrun,
Ring of invisibility: The ring is invisible. Does nothing to the wearer. The player found it by picking up the cloak it was on and hearing it fall.Cloak of Chameleon: Changes to garish and mismatching colors. Draws attention away from you to it.Baton of Balance: When dropped, it balances perfectly, no matter the terrain. The player ended up using it to hold up a table on a rocky ship.Amulet of Detect Thought: Able to tell if something is thinking. The stronger the thought, the stronger the detection. It was used to detect an invisible assailant.Deck of Your Mom: Every card you pull out is just a picture of the character's mother in a lewd pose. If placed back in the deck, it'll be a new picture to whoever removes it next. They decided to leave this one behind. This is also when they stopped looking through the chest.All of these items were found in a chest in the middle of a dungeon, next to a skeleton. The supposed cause of death was one of his shitty magical items.
>>48285256Deck of your Mom "pick a card any card" to a nobleman -priceless-
>>48270052GYNYU'S BIZARRE ADVENTURES!
>>48284303Develop an immunity to Iocane powder.
Wand of Location:Locates whatever it is pointed at.
>>48285312>do a tarot reading for some nobleman >he draws his card to reveal lewd pictures of his mom>"Oh shit, this is MY future! My mistake."
>>48258879Are you high or retarded?
>>48285957Are you black?
>>48274338>>Magnetic malletWhat if it added a parry bonus? "Oh, I have no trouble landing hits but cant avoid them, oh hey look this hammer literally repels swords!"That'd be cool.
>>48259846Make a bigass hammer with the ingot embedded in one end of the head. There's your mass, transferring into the point.
>>48278789Pornsites were one of the forerunners of online payment services.
>>48284177+1 will save against fear based effects, +1 against intimidation, etc?
>>48286622that's not how warhammers worked though, dumbdumb.
>>48259104If someone uses gauntlets that when activated grip onto an object until deactivated on a truly immovable rod (player not knowing it to be truly immovable) what would the rest of the party observe? The party is in a dungeon deep in the earth.
>get Truly Immovable Rod>make Relatively Immovable Rod>make them both indestructible>glue them together with Sovereign Glue>activateWHAT HAPPENS
>>48287058>TIR is fixed relative to the center of the universe>RIR is fixed relative to the center of the planetThe planet becomes fixed relative to the center of the universe and gradually flies out of alignment with its neighboring sun or suns and then eventually leaves its host galaxy entirely. This kills the biosphere.
>>48275787>Free products sold at greater than free price means total profit.You're failing to take into account the labor involved in selling these items, and the impact that such an infinite source would have on the local economy. Scrap metal of the sort described isn't likely to sell for much, and turning tiny bits of colored glass and brass into items people might actually spend their hard earned gold on requires skill and dedication.
>>48277086Plot twist: it's just a guy named Rod who's pretty lazy and useless, all things considered.
>>48275980>Rod of desire, glows with the light of a torch when the bearer is arousedI can just imagine the party lost in the dark and having to keep the bearer's imagination active. How nice would that highly depends on the party though.
>>48287266The real trick would be straddling the edge of the magical realm without falling in.
>>48257783>potion that tells you how many grass straws are under your boots
>>48287276The trick is not to force the party into using the item in any particular way. Just give it to the players and see what happens.>poor man's detect thought>badge of purity for the paladin>drinking game>thought police (give it to the bard and punch him everytime it lights up)>or, you know, torch
>>48287330>party makes bard carry it>mock him every time it lights up>get trapped in a dark cave>everybody starts loudly theorising what can be hiding in the darkness
Less situationally useful and more generally inconvenient, but here you goRing of Elemental Chaos When casting a spell, the user must roll to determine it's elemental damage, fire, cold, lightning, acid, or poisonThe spell backfires on a 1 Cannot be removed Removal of the finger it's placed on will cause it to teleport to the nearest finger or similar extremity on the user
>>48272497so the fucker gets limited 360° vision and can anyone sneaking up to him?!
>>48264176Teleport into it!
>Cursed Girdle of Change GenderThe wearer of this item will randomly assign words to different genders and stick with those. The more genders there are in any given language the user speaks, the stronger the Curse.
>>48276066I'm curious now
>>48284303Put on clothes with long sleeves, put on bracer.
>>48258328>Universally Immovable Rodif it's universal in the sense that its frame of reference is the universe, that could get pretty interesting considering even in fantasy games most planets are hurtling through space.
>Useless or nearly useless magic/special itemsNumenera in a nutshell
>>48288132What if one is used in Exalted? Realm is just a vast flat place in ocean of chaos
>>48256869>bracers that switched places with a command wordThat's ridiculously broken, you're obviously not very creative.
>>48259846This is the operative principle that makes those "test your strength" booths work at carnivals. They give you the heavy hammer, which you can only accelerate to a small velocity over your swinging arc, so you suck at. The trick is to pick the heaviest hammer you can get up to maximum speed because (physics refresher) Ek = 1/2 * m * v^2At this point you have energy being deposited into a point, and all that matters is the relative hardness of the object. An ingot that can't be damaged in any way shape or form is pretty fucking hard. Basically broken as fuck IRL
>>48288152In Exalted it'll just hang in place, yes.In Creation, that is. In Autochton, probably too.In Malfeas though? His layers /are/ constantly moving, even if not at cosmic speeds, so it will fly away from you.
>>48287626>or similar extremity on the user
>all these people forgetting that in D&D you have yo be wearing both of a pair of magic bracers for them to work
>Flinch KnivesThrowing knives that halt in place if the target isn't looking, intended to be thrown at people who hide behind shields (user throws, the target puts up their shield, wait for the thunk, doesn't happen, moves the shield away, gets hit)
>>48290285Are they "homing" or can I raise my shield and then take a step to the left, thus avoiding danger?
An axe with an obsidian blade, wicked sharp. When thrown, it will home in on the nearest person.That person is usually the guy who threw it.
>>48259777Darksteel relic from mtg.
>>48259783>a crossbow to shoot cure spells into my alliesOKTOBAFEEEEST
>>48256869You made an infinite-use teleport item and your PCs didn't weaponize it???
>>48288998Hey, if the wizard doesn't learn after cutting off his toes, there's no hope for them
>>48256885>Also bagpipe of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but only as long as you play it as loudly as you can.litanyofstealth.jpg
>>48256885>Also bagpipe of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but only as long as you play it as loudly as you can.Kek.
>>48259720So every helmet in Dark Souls?
>>48260139>>48260186That thread is killing me.
>>48260521>Mysterious Soap You mean perfume ?
>>48278831>imply fate isn't absoluteYou're going to die. You've already seen it.In fact, that trap didn't exist until you saw it.
>>48290331No homing what-so-ever, once you know how they work they are trivial to overcome, only any good the first time you fight someone.Though that reminds me of a different knife (which probably deserves the name more) that return when it gets inches away from the target.
>>48264946> Not using this as a lethal poisonAnon pls
>>48260177>It's still a tree, you know? Having wood in the middle of literal nothing is still nice If you're out in the middle of nothing and your survival hinges on the nearest tree, then you're already fucked. Assuming the nearest tree is close enough to get to and doesn't lead you away from the nearest settlement or something that could actually save you long term. Because chances are slim to nil that getting to that single tree is going to get you out of the middle of nothing. Because when you activate it again, it's just going to point you back at that same tree.
>>48272402>completely indestructible shield
>>48271733It was Part 6, it's Jolyne's Stand.
>>48256869The well of uncomfortable truths
Ring of dwarven foreign relations:When ever an elf gets within 50ft of the ring an illusion of a dwarf appears, and begins yelling at it for being a knife eared piece of shit.
>>48295853"Dwarven Foreign Relations"my sides
>>48257894If you continue to toss that coin I will eat it.
>>48295853Oh boy. I wonder who created such a ring.
>>48256869I centered an entire campaign around a pineapple that nearly killed a player when a group of goblins started throwing food at them, rolled for random magicalness and it was a loud ancient human pineapple of warleading, when spoken into your voice would be projected for 100 squares and when activated it made a loud war horn noise.They later found a gorilla with an unbreakable coconut originating from the same place
>>48283973>>Glass Jaw of Vecna>Grants incredible magical power, user goes down from one solid hit to the face.>put a forcefield around your face>acend
>>48278750A WW1 trench periscope
The Marble of Boredom.It's literally just a magic marble. I intended for it to be used as some kind of magic battery for a dungeon, my players found a way to weaponize it.They accidentally razed the entire capital along with the catacombs.
>>482824901) Perfect assassination tool. Much easier to dispose of 140 pounds of butter than a body.2) This could garner great fame as a intermediary tool in any international event where a starting condition (i.e. who's attacking and who's defending) is decided with a coin toss. A now truly, perfectly fair coin toss.3) That's just plain useful as long as you're literally a grave digger.>>48286849No, but it's a decent sledgehammer. Not everything has to be a weapon, anon
>The Gavel of Justice>When struck against any solid structure, the nearest enemy within a 15-foot radius now has the "Guilty" status afflicted on them, which makes them take a -1 to persuasion and deception checks, but a +1 to intimidation (the status can be removed by "remove curse")>If nobody else is within the radius, paladins burst in the room and arrest you for miscarriage of justice
>>48283973>Glass Jaw of Vecna1. Do absolutely anything magical besides combat2. Be better at it than anyone on the plane3. ProfitHow many times did Merlin get into a direct fight?
>>48256869A Torch that makes things darker.
>>48274053>Make invisible helmet>Don't have to make eyeholes in helmet>laugh heartily
>>48256869Amulet of resurrection:Upon death of the bearer, this amulet shatters and restores them to life. Unfortunately, given the fact the amulet does not heal their wounds, they are likely to die again a few seconds later.