Been waiting all day for this, and as usual our mixtapes

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6iimHE85EZZdTkwcHVxT2ZxWXc/view?usp=docslist_api

>>47174869
Shame about losing the reason why, but I am sure there is some vague stuff for that. Plus side, we're now a Ace! Thats gonna turn heads.

Another thing I've been thinking of; the angry commander who we are suppose to ship our hostage to. Pretty sure he's going to break our deal and try to ambush us or kill her and stage the thing as if it was our fault.

>>47175056
He better fucking not. We need that cash for more mechs that arent made from paper.

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So far, we've been using the term "ace" to refer to any pilot who doesn't use generic crew stats. By this metric, most named pilots are aces. However, there is a substantial difference between being a not-mook and being viewed by people in general ace an ace. Having a 6 in a Mecha combat-related skill, including piloting, means that you are a skilled and experienced veteran. It's a respectable number, but as you probably noticed earlier Red Siren and Oda Yoritomo didn't exactly view Richard or Miles as having what it takes to lead the Iron Kestrels. Having a 7, particularly multiple 7s, is definite ace territory, as is an 8. 9, though, 9 is special. Someone with 9s in Mecha Pilot and their main Mecha combat skill is a renowned ace that everyone who seriously follows mecha would know about. Exceptions to this rule tend to be elite UJCIDF or Martian pilots with outstanding circumstances, such as being buried in a secret unit or having changed their name.

In short, by hitting that 9, you've reached the status Char Aznable had at the start of the One Year War, complete with nicknames and fancy titles. Both you and your machine are distinctive and easily recognized.

Naturally, this has both positive and negative connotations. The upside is that it's going to be easier to recruit new pilots...among other things, I fully updated the Rhinehawk's mecha complement section on the pastebin to reflect how many machines you have, although I still need to add the Yamato and its forty Harpies plus one Osano-Wo. The negative comes from the fact that you're a recognizable PIRATE ace. This won't hurt you overly much on, say, Auditorium or California Station, the former being openly controlled by Red Siren and the latter's officials being aware that if it stops being a haven for pirates much of their business will dry up, but as you saw for yourself under extreme circumstances the UJCIDF might still make a pass for you even on California.

>>47175056
Lets make sure to record everything then, plus put her in the Big Zam

>>47175088
She is not going in the zam, she will fry us and then her would be husband.

>>47175112
Thats why were charming her so she won't attack us and will just fuck up her husband to be

>>47175056

Something about awarding points based on outstanding incidents of using a skill, plus some general IP awarded for incidents of just being a plain old badass, channeled into the skills that had been widely discussed as priorities for improvement. However, I didn't award the same number for every incident, and I don't remember how much it was to what skill for what incidents.

>>47175127
Nigger just put one of our own fucking pilots in the big zam and not even take that risk. Stop being dumb.

>>47175152

Miles in a hijab?

>>47175078
The fact he didn't follow 'procedure' and set up such a long time screams prep time for a trap. Shouldn't be hard to get some ears out to see if there is a build up of forces.

>>47175112
As for her... well she is a proud bugger and if the guy breaks a binding arangement and shows no interest in her, it would likely have her cut off all ties. They are betrothed, not married. Of course we shouldn't put her in the Zam yet.

>>47175177
Shes already been stealing her clothes so

>>47175177
I meant more to potentially shoot double crossing fuckers. Giving them a hostage as well as a superweapon seems a bit much.

Miles probably would be the best of our current pilots for the zam though wouldn't she?

>>47175190
How about we just strip out some of the Tarrasque's critical components, leave it unable to use its guns and defense systems?

>>47175152
Miles in the Big Zam. The particle cannon FAR outmatches her usual sniper cannon and she's specced for gunnery. Richard needs to get into that Morgan 2 with his Missile skills. Maybe Mohammed into the Warmouth?

>>47175177
Hey Wong why is their skill like this
Miles Longshadow [P] (Mecha Pilot 16, Mecha Gunnery 17, Mecha Fighting 14)
If we stat ourselves would it be something like
Rorake S. Starwind [P] (Mecha Pilot 19, Mecha Hand to hand 16, Mecha Fighting 19)?

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First of all. There are police and civilian pilots on Suleiman who are available for recruitment. I'm giving you a fairly substantial bonus for having saved their lives, and a successful Oratory roll coupled with a decent short speech (or summary thereof) could rake in quite a few of them. The speech is important, because I'll be levying bonuses (or penalties) based on how good it is.

So, why don't you test that new Oratory rating out, give me 1d10+13. I'll use the first result. Also, make your case for joining the Iron Kestrels!

>>47175242
How about we just use the fucking thing ourselves and send her to him in a shuttle?

>>47175228

Yes, although she'd be unhappy with it. After all, that cannon isn't specced for long-range yet, and it's much harder to aim than her current Master Harpy. She'll still do it if you tell her to, though.

Rolled 8 + 13 (1d10 + 13)

>>47175256
Look at what the Green Skulls have done to your homes and your friends, will you let then get away with this? Join us and bring justic and vengence to the cowards

Rolled 7 + 13 (1d10 + 13)

>>47175256

>>47175283
Maybe we should just let one of the no names fly it if we cant find someone else. That one dude had some slick moves last thread.

>>47175252

It would be Mecha Fighting 19, Mecha Pilot 19.

Also, don't discount the power of the Master Harpies. They don't have the oomph of a larger unit, but they're ridiculously fast.

>>47175256
Men and women of Suleiman 1. Look at yourselves, you've suffered with blood and pain. Look around you. There's friends and family of yours that are missing. Tell me, do you wish to remain defenseless? To roll over when the next group of scum decides that they want to toy with your lives? I am Roarke Starwind. Pirate Admiral of the Iron Kestrels. We killed those men who wished to do harm to you and your family. I offer you a chance. An opportunity to gain strength and fight back against tyrants. I'll hand you the steel to strike back against the Green Skulls. To punish them for hurting your family. Join me in my crusade against the Green Skulls. With the Iron Kestrel you'll find comrades, family, and power.

>>47175310
are they red in color

By the way, is anyone still wondering why Bluegills are cheaper than Harpies, and why the pirate version is better than the UJCIDF version (and why the UJCIDF isn't just switching to pirate specs), or do I need to explain it again?

>>47175329
I like it anon, good work

>>47175346
Harpies transform and are fast as balls. Not fully sure about the second one.

>>47175346
Nah its cool. Harpies just have common parts from civilian mechs. Cheaper to build on top of whats missing instead of building from scratch.

Let's turn that wrecked Battle Cruiser into upgrades for our Rhinehawk. Can we maybe add an Iron Kestrel custom upgrade to our mechs with our mechbays?

>>47175292
To add onto that, consider what the Green Skulls have done. Burned down farms, razed villages, attacked unarmed civilians, and being general assholes. Thats not how we role. Sure we are pirates, but we only care for the monetary gain and putting assholes like the green skulls in their place.

We also care for our own. Now, the Federation? They had no desire to come here. None whatsoever. They backed off and kept far away. Nuts to that too. They won't punish the green skulls for their shit, so we'll do it ourselves. Weither it be for fame, glory, money, justice, or revenge we'll take on any willing to join so long as they follow our codes.

So to the homeless, vengeful, and prideful people of Suleiman I ask you, join the Iron Kestrels and show both those who forsook you and belittled you what you're made of!

Wong are we picking up where we left us since it was a perfect moment for us to end up fucking Karne and getting her upgrade

>>47175375
>tfw all you see is a SPAZ style bolting the husks of destroyed warships onto your flagship to upgrade it

>>47175375
Make their heads sort of falcon shaped. That or a falcon shaped pauldron.

>>47175408

She drank too much beer and fell asleep again. If you want her upgrade, you have to romance her. No matter how nerdy and bespectacled they are, mechanic girls are not to be taken for granted, and deserve the same time and effort as any other despite their accessibility and high chance of pre-existing crushes on orange-haired ace pilots.

We're actually skipping ahead to leaving Suleiman to avoid hours of faffing about, hence your speech is going to be part of the background detail in my next post.

>>47175292
>>47175329
>>47175382

A whopping 22 pilots, the max possible for recruitment this time! This actually causes a problem, as you cannot maintain and service all of their mecha at once. For now, the Yamato can pick up the slack, but it's a good thing you're planning to upgrade the Rhinehawk.

>>47175506
Any of them better than usual?

>>47175546

None that have made themselves apparent yet, at least. You could always have that one rookie who turns out to be a potential ace. On average, they come out as B-class crew, the more experienced pilots being balanced out by having to train the less experienced and amateur ones.

>>47175606
So we'll need to likely train them up some time to bolster their experience and see if there are any good seeds. Needed to get some teaching experience anyways. Can likely do that at Red Siren's place.

>>47175658
Lets have our veteran crew members train the new guys and have the best and brightest join squads under our Lieutenants (Miles, Moe, and Richard)

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>>47175375
Maybe every one of mechs have wings on them that are falcon wings aesthetics? Have them be an unique Iron Kestrel version that focuses on extra speed?

Karen as a mechanic who focuses on armour could add a falcon head on their torso that adds a mini projector system?

Falcon talons on each mech's foot that adds massive damage on drop kicks?

The Iron Kestrels should have some sort of defining trait that sets us apart from others apart from having an insane admiral.

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Over the next few days, you talk to a lot of people. You talk to the surviving police and rescue pilots of Suleiman. You talk to the citizens. You talk to the local authorities. You make it loud and clear that you are a different breed of pirate from the Green Skulls and that anyone who wants revenge is welcome to join you. Surprisingly, twenty-two of them do. Despite its short length, the Green Skulls' occupation was terrifyingly brutal, and a lot of people are still angry. Not just at the enemy pirate crew, but at the UJCIDF for leaving them to die. The story gets around that Samantha broke ranks to bring you here, but she hates the attention and repeatedly redirects any credit she gets onto you. Even the chief of police, who claims to have flown Bluegills before, signs on with you after having the mayor mark him down as deceased on paper. Your ship's personal mecha complement is now larger than it was under Ozark...which is a problem, because you're out of space for all the machines you've collected. The Yamato can shoulder the burden temporarily, but it's a good thing that you've been planning to upgrade the Rhinehawk for some time. Even starships are designed to be relatively modular, and it should be possible to modernize updated systems, use space more efficiently, and expand certain sections of the ship to get it up to par with Medium-Weight cruisers. You're replete with hull metal from the two ships you destroyed, and between the parts you salvaged and the parts you could sell for scrap you finally have enough to complete the project.

However, the facilities on Suleiman are insufficient for your purposes, and there's always the risk of the UJCIDF deciding to finally show up and play cavalry now that the actual work is done. You have two main options.

[continued]

>>47175701
We all got leather jackets and sunglasses.

>>47175701

All of that would be tremendously expensive, and they would handle far more clumsily as a result of all that added weight.

As it stands, Iron Kestrels mecha are noted for a black-trimmed-in-silver color scheme and a white hawk symbol on one pauldron.

I just spent last night and today getting caught up and i have to say I love this quest. Keep up the fantastic work Mr. Wong!

>>47175751
Could always teach the crew how to punch and then get them falcon claw shaped knuckle dusters for their mechs. Lot cheaper than all those fancy ornaments.

Caught it live!

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>[Go to Auditorium. This would take longer, as it isn't nearly as well-equipped as California Station, and you would be subject to the whims and price-monopolies of an autocratic pirate idol. However, that idol is Red Siren, and who doesn't like Red Siren? For that matter, Red Siren likes you, maybe she won't demand anything TOO ridiculous.]

>[Go to California Station. Your ship will be ready faster, and likely cheaper. However, there is no Red Siren on California Station, and there is always the possibility that the Cincinnatus is still lurking around waiting for you to come back. This would have one upside, at least, Samantha would be able to talk to her brother sooner.]

>>47175802
Auditorium we can offer Siren that dinner we owe her plus give our crew a bit of a vacation due to their hard work

>>47175802
>Go to Auditorium
Dont want to fuck with the space police and their vonder vepons just yet.
How hard would getting the Big Zam going again by the way?

>>47175802
>>[Go to Auditorium. This would take longer, as it isn't nearly as well-equipped as California Station, and you would be subject to the whims and price-monopolies of an autocratic pirate idol. However, that idol is Red Siren, and who doesn't like Red Siren? For that matter, Red Siren likes you, maybe she won't demand anything TOO ridiculous.]
The green skulls were planning on going after her anyways so this may be the better option. We also promised her and I'm sure Sam can hold out a bit before we head to California.

Would be a better place to train the new crew as well.

>>47175802
Red Siren. We need to make sure she's okay. It's confirmed that Green Skull is aiming for her. Maybe getting they are getting help from the UJCIDF too.

>>47175802
Let's head to California. The faster the ship's ready to fly, the better.

>>47175848
Is it possible to stick Sam onto a cruiser heading to California station that we can possible find in the Auditorium?

>>47175899

Yes, but you would lose access to her stealth mech for an undefined amount of time and ~shenanigans~ might happen.

>>47175931
Do i hear "Beach Episode"

>>47175802
>>[Go to Auditorium. This would take longer, as it isn't nearly as well-equipped as California Station, and you would be subject to the whims and price-monopolies of an autocratic pirate idol. However, that idol is Red Siren, and who doesn't like Red Siren? For that matter, Red Siren likes you, maybe she won't demand anything TOO ridiculous.]

She's not going to gouge us on prices, she's a waifu.

>>47175977
She's a professional.

She'll bleed us if she can.

>>47175990
She's on her period?

>>47176006
Gonna be real fun when the entire harem ends up synching up

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>>47175953

Do you?

Fun fact, there are colonies that are designed to be gigantic space-lakes with space-beaches.

>>47175953
More like she gets ambushed by green skulls on her way home.
Not many beaches in space.

>>47175977
She won't gouge us on prices but she won't give us a discount either. She has mouths to feed. I'm with paying normal price since we just got a big goddamn payday. A Battle Cruiser and a Tarrasque.

>>47176040
I can see Red Siren having a beach for her tourism colony

>>47175977
She is also a pirate.

>>47176033
And this is why we have to diversify our portfolio.. and find a time of the month to run for the hills.

>>47176052
This is probably the most reasonable of the lot. She's got her own colony, it's unlikely that she'd need funds badly enough that she'd risk spoiling relations with the guy who can punch out starships.

>>47176040
You have my attention dear sir, and I eagerly await future mentions of said beach episode.

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Finally, you're ready to go. Working out a way to get your salvage debris through the microgate ahead of your ships is the hardest part, but between Avi and Richard, a way is found. Cornelius is looking into repairing the Tarrasque with Karen, although it's slowed extensively by the fact that the two of them can't seem to crack open a single plate on it without examining the contents and arguing about ways to replicate, miniaturize, or improve its systems. Fortunately, you'll be able to repair it as Fatima asked...even if she had the sense not to ask for it back for free...without losing the chance to learn from it. You can't help feeling a little bad for Karen, working so hard that she frequently falls asleep at her desk or floating down a hallway. You end up having to tuck her into bed several times, frustratingly without getting the chance to be more intimate with her.

Samantha, though, is proving that Captain Ozark may have been right all along when he said that a harem composed of girls who rely on each other emotionally and professionally is best. She picks up the slack for her bespectacled ally in taking care of you, more or less moving into your quarters. She thinks it's a little odd that you're still in the cramped, rather spartan room you had when you were First Mate, but you never really had time to scout for anywhere else to sleep and you plan on renovating the ship anyway.

To make it up to Karen, you swear to her that you will take her to Auditorium's beach, the one aspect of going to that colony that she seems happy about. She says she bought a swimsuit back on California Station.

When you arrive through the microgate, Auditorium is much as you left it. From the outside, its rather gaudy appearance and the flashing neon images of Red Siren's face provide a very different impression than inside.

[Continued]

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>>47176320
>pic

>mfw

>>47176320
...someday we need to get a hold of a place to turn into our own space hideout. With boxing rings and gyms.

>>47176368
And space blackjack, and space hooke- err, waifus.

>>47176368
We can call it Van-halla and host a fist fighting tournament with us as the champ

>>47176368
How does space boxing work? Do you wear a jetpack like space fencing?

>>47176390
Like Thunderdome.

>>47176382
There will be Little Nippon for Oda and his crew. We could also sell vintage music and merchandise. No hipsters allowed though.

>>47176390
It's like normal boxing, but your fists aren't weighed down by earth's gravity.. or gravity in general. Would make wrestling fun in zero G as well.

>>47176471
Wrestling in 0g is pretty much the only way to safely fistfight. You gotta hold on to your opponent because otherwise both of you get pushed away. Space dropkicks are always viable though.

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Inside, it resembles what you imagine the Parthenon or some classical Roman city along the shores of the Mediterranean sea must have looked like, before the nuclear conflict that devastated Earth. Briefly, you wonder, as always, whether that sea has been restored on its original world, or whether the Terrans have built new seas to suit their liking.

White stone, finely cut and polished, is everywhere. Stairways are wide and shallow and grandiose. Buildings are fronted with fluted pillars and topped with crimson tile roofs. Shapely olive trees wave their branches in the expertly modulated artificial wind off the bay of the artificial lake with its artificial waves, surrounded by sparkling sands. Sure, it was all made with human mechanical ingenuity and creativity...but isn't that in its own way beautiful? Of course, ancient Rome or Greece never had so many statues of even its most beloved goddesses visible nearly whever you look, including holding up the public holoscreens displayed at most prominent locations. After all, Red Siren likes to give her captives a sense of normalcy, and both she and her crew enjoy knowing what's going on on Jupiter. While Avi and Miles (for once, you ambush your First Mate with orders before she can sneak off with Richard at the first sign of shore leave) left in charge of securing parts and upgrading the ship, you decide that you have more than earned a well-deserved break from stress, work, and fighting.

>[Who do you want to take with you?]

>>47176362

Karen got at least a partial art shift when Roarke stopped viewing her as "that glasses girl kid". Now you behold the true form of the cheongsam mechanic.

>>47176518
Avi

It's brotime

>>47176518
Karen needs a break for once and it is something she wants to see. Maybe Moe too so he doesn't become a stick in the mud.

>>47176518
Karen, Sam and that's it. Fatima is still a payday so she doesn't get to come this time.

>>47176518
Leave Richard and half the mecha to guard our shit and bring whatever named person we have with us

>>47176556
wait never mind, that was stupid. Sorry, got too excited for brotime. It will come. Second thought, Richard. Different brotime.

>>47176582

Don't worry about the mecha, they're staying on your ship, you'd get some very nasty looks stomping about a colony in your twenty-meter Knuckle Kaiser.

>>47176608
I meant the pilots my bad

You have selected Karen as your companion on this jaunt. Is there anyone else you would like to bring along? I heard Sam, Mohammed, and Richard.

>>47176696
Sam and maybe Moe

>>47176696
Sam. But spend a bit more of our attention on Karen for the beggining then switch to Sam.

>>47176696
Mohammed and Richard. Maybe take them to the arcade before the beach? Still need to bluegill it up.

>>47176696
Wong, if we get to knock boots with some husbando material, do we get a KK upgrade too? Or is that just for waifus?

>>47176696
Mohammed and Richard. Mohammed seems like a sheltered kind of guy. Good for him to learn about pirates and how they aren't so different from other people. Richard bro time is a good idea. Plus we can count on Richard to take Mohammed away if we can get the mood going with Karen.

>>47176696
Mohammed and Richard for the laugh.

>>47176696
Almost forgot to ask, did Clemmy text us back?

>>47176744

Just for waifus. Besides, would you really NTR Miles? Sure, she's greedy, and rather vicious, and she thinks 'warning shots' mean 'if they survive they'll run away', but she's your First Mate.

>>47176783
Moe-hammed though.
Don't mess with my hot yaoi shipping, c'mon

>>47176783
Well bros and the like are off the market. Same with their girls. It's only fair. But what he meant is if a fabulous gay guy pops up can we plunder his booty for upgrades?

>>47176812
This too, all day.

>>47176811
He just wants to blow shit up with his mech anon, stop being so gay.
We are already fucking one dude anyway

>>47176832
So if we dress up Macho McManliness in some gothic lolita or Fatima's schoolgirl outfit, then we can label him waifu and get the sweet sweet booty upgrade?

>>47176851
No. They have to look enough like a girl to confuse anons dicks.

>>47176832
We never found out the most important answer about this, who was bigger?

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>>47176873
Ask and ye shall receive

It's surprisingly hard to find girly Setsuna pics

>>47176939
He is still instantly recognizable as a dude.
Plus he never dresses like that.

Did Mohammed ever get a chance to talk to Fatima? I know that got mentioned a thread ago.

>>47176877
I think Sam has been fucking Karen. That's why they have been so agreeable together.

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You aren't able to get away on the first day, or the second. It hurts, but you begrudgingly even set up proper shore leave shifts for your people before taking the opportunity to go into the town itself. The third day passes, and you only have time for a short walk in the artificial sunlight.

The fourth day, though, is yours. All yours. In the end, you decide you want to go with friends. It might always turn into a romantic evening with someone, but it's early in the day and you have plenty of time to hang out with your buddies first. So you invite Richard along, and Mohammed, and Karen, and Samantha. After all, Mohammed and Samantha could benefit from spending some time getting acclimated to normal pirates, and Red Siren's are about as normal as possible...which isn't saying much.

In fact, most of her employees do the exact same things they would do on any colony. Run restaurants. Fix streets. Advertise her clothing and record brands. Sell little figurines of the Archen making a cute pose. They're pirates in name only, many of them just normal people who happen to like S-Pop enough to move out here.

Even the prisoners she's holding for ransom mostly seem to be treating it like a vacation. You see the first knot of them sitting outdoors watching the holos on a plasma, a wealthy-looking family and what you suspect were their bodyguards, lawyers, and other essential personnel, surrounded by a discreet group of pirate guards in red-and-pink body armor. They're eating burgers from a nearby stand and talking loudly.

Between Samantha slipping on a cobblestone and catching you in a sidehug and Mohammed up ahead pointing towards an arcade with a shockingly excited look on his face, you almost miss the sudden bwooping of your PC. It's the 'message received' sound, over and over again.

[Continued]

>>47177009
Sam has no interest in other girls mate.

>>47177009
Then where's her upgrade?

>>47176832

Samantha is a girl! A girl!

>>47177046
A girl with an awful lot of Y chromosomes.

>>47177026
Is it CLemmy time?

>>47177009

Samantha is straight as an arrow and thus only interested in boys. Karen too, but Samantha's more likely to have brought it up.

>>47177026
>>47177069
Sure hope so. We can learn about how she turned California into Waterworld.

>>47177080
>Samantha is straight as an arrow and thus only interested in boys
kek

>>47177069
All the text says is

>Turn around

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>>47177131

>>47177069
10,000 Smiling cat emojis when you least expect it

>>47177321
She held the tilde key down. Didn't let go.

>>47177321
>>47177131

And then, it's actually a selfie from Fatima inside the cockpit of the Zan as she steals one of Red's ships and flies away laughing.

>>47177341
Then its just a monologue from Jesus consisting of his poetry about justice and kindness

>>47177394

At the end of which, he posts some particularly poignant and relevant Linkin Park lyrics.

>>47177416
I can feel the edge from here

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You take out your PC, and activate the screen. You have fifty-four messages from Lieutenant Alice C. Farragut, and without thinking you tap on the first one.

...And abruptly close it. Despite your shades and naturally cool demeanor, your ears are burning. The preview image for the video says it all. Her pale skin glistens like a star, the golden filigree marking the edges of her stark white uniform gleaming with the same light that illuminates her hair and parted lips. Her uniform is open, very much open, and her legs are spread wide, straddling a pillow with...with...

What the hell, there's a long pillow with a 1-1 image of you mostly naked on it? How did she even get that? Where did she get that? I mean, you can see what she has strapped TO it, but the fact that this pillow exists just raises so many questions. You'll have to download these later and look through them in detail, for the purposes of, er, research.

Karen leans against you, the pillowy softness of her chest very firm and real and not confusing at all, practically engulfing your bicep in her cleavage, "There's a bar and grill in that arcade there. It's a little hot, and I think that little boy wants to play simgames at the arcade. I admit, it could be kind of fun. Want to stop?" She smiles, reaching up and adjusting her glasses in the same moment you do.

[Continued, delays were caused by accidentally deleting my post like an idiot]

The real question is whether we send back a pic of us posing with the Big Zam in the background and the Green Skull Bosun Mask in one hand

>>47177394
>>47177416
>>47177435

You've achieved perfect understanding now!

>>47177479
NUDES GET
Really don't want to stick our dicks in crazy, but...
It looks like the crazy's not going to wait for us.

>>47177479
ODA'S CAFE is selling dakis of us! LOL! God damn we should have went to California Station. We did want to go on a date with Clemmy the first time we bumped into each other.

>>47177525
Simple really. If she attacks with her mech we kill her.

>>47177543
No reason why we can't after we leave Auditorium, she would definetly go awal for it if they aren't still there

>>47177525
You realize that Sam and Karen are fucking crazy too right? Sam wanted to quit her CAREER just for some deadbeat pirate she had one date with. Karen was going to set off a 150K bomb in the Rhinehawk just so she could stay with it.

Clemmy is just a more forward girl. While Red Siren is the most normal and responsible.

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>>47177608
>Red Siren is the most normal and responsible

>>47177608
To be fair, neither of their nicknames is The Butcher.

>>47177608
>>47177620

Don't worry she possible has some crazy up her sleaves that we haven't seen yet

>>47177479
Lets beat everyone at Bluegill Joe

>>47177648
>We end up beating every pilot in the colony

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Inside, it's cool and dark, a welcome relief from the rather bright day outside. It would be possible, even easy, to set the weather to optimum settings every day, with an always-perfect temperature and no precipitation, but that would wreak havoc on the imported ecosystem and has been proven to have deleterious effects on human sanity. The chef is pleasantly fat, amiable, and the burgers he's cooking smell delicious. From the menu, the prices are reasonable, although absolutely everything on Auditorium costs more than it does on California Station.

"Admiral, Admiral, they have the game with the blue sword mech! I used to have to sneak into the Jovian Quarter if I wanted to play this one!" For once, Mohammed looks visibly excited, gesturing over to where a trio of Bluegill Joe machines stand against the wall.

Richard glances over at you over the rim of his shades, his eyes gleam like a panther's in the darkness, "Do you think he's ready? Maybe it would be unkind..."

You shake your head, "No. He's one of our officers, and there is only one way a hawk learns to fly. He must spread his wings and jump, and as his seniors we can only watch and hope he doesn't break his bones in the fall." You pat Mohammed on the back, as you and your longtime squadbro Richard step forward to the machines flanking his. You've both had time to get a reputation with this game, after all.

To his credit, he doesn't flinch, and he doesn't look intimidated. Instead, an expression of utterly serious determination crosses his face, and the three of you swipe the tips of your PCs through an activation slot at practically the same moment.

[Continued]

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>>47177608
This is why I wanted husbandos!

>>47177608

Her bright-eyed little soul project clearly has some corrupt shit going on, of course she wants to quit. I'd quit the military too if I was told to sit back and let a bunch of Americans die on purpose.

>>47177672
They make Bluegill Joe 4 and Roarke is the final boss. It's a reverse bullet hell and one hit ends up just killing you like old school mike tyson punch out.

>>47177683
>Not wanting the Starwind name to live on

Absolutely Disgusting

>>47177694
Roarke Starwind's punchout has a nice ring to it. And just inagine how many different games were being modded into right now

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>>47177694
>Reverse Bullet Hell
>Reverse
>Knuckle Kaiser
>Pic Related

>>47177694
>"Bluegill Joe! The dastardly Admiral Starwind has abducted all of the impressionable female pilots! Only you can save them from his powerful arms and raw sex appeal!"

File: Yes!.gif (979 KB, 500x278)

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>>47177740

>>47177740
Since were starting to get really popular we could use that to sell some shit for cash like cover albums of our mixtapes, recorsings of our fights, Sex tape with Red Siren , the possiblities are endless

>>47177732
No no, see you gotta spray a ton of bullets in hopes of him not getting close to you. Could even use data from our fights in hopes of getting a anti roarke fighter.

>>47177740
The first and only person to beat the game for the longest time is Roarke who gives it a glowing endorsement. More people go for his crew than the military. Doesn't help that jesus is a playable character.

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1.4 MB GIF

>>47177740
Now it all makes sense of how Roarke came to be.

>>47177784
>Jesus is super overpowered and breezes through the entire game

>but simply can't beat Roarke as a final boss

>reaching this point and losing with Jesus results in a special game over frame of Roarke smirking and a witty comment about the law

Im waiting for us to enter an illegal mecha fighting tournament hosted by Not!Bison on his WARLORD FORTRESS BLOOD SPORT ARENA COLONY

>>47177784
I suppose it is a video game. A certain level of unrealistic expectation is normal. What with being able to beat Knuckle Kaiser, and thinking that your puny beam spam can even hope to not let him close to you.

Will you get to play as Big Zam too for easy mode?
>>47177825
Related

>>47177784
To fuck with him we send out Miles to fight him

>>47177836
>Big Zam mode

>always ends with reaching the final stage then a huge image of knuckle kaiser appearing taking up the whole screen as a fist goes into the Zam's cockpit

The ambush is real.

>>47177851
>Play up the Big Zam boss battle
>Ultra Secret Super Weapon
>Menacing shadow of the Zam looms over the player
>suddenly the KK's fist rips out through the Zam's cockpit
>a quartet of pirate bluegills cart off the Zam as the real boss battle begins.
I love this game and it doesnt even exist

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>>47177674

You kneel down on the pad in front of the machine, and put on the helmet that pops out of a compartment at the front of the device. Abruptly, your senses tell you that you're sitting in a cockpit. It's not quite as roomy as the Knuckle Kaiser's, but it's one you're very familiar with from playing this game before, the cockpit of a Bluegill. Instead of space displayed on the screens surrounding your virtual cockpit, though. it's a flickering greenish void of dotted lines connecting and interconnecting across an abyss, lit by emerald smoke. Slowly, taking a minute or so each time, the dotted lines and smoke melt from one color into another. You also see Richard's and Mohammed's Bluegills floating on either side of yours.

The Martian chooses his loadout first. More thrusters appear on his frame, which acquires a rusty, dented, sky-blue tinge and an old-fashioned Bluegill head more flat-topped and bucketlike than the modern models. You recognize it as the Muragi Classic, the machine used by the original Bluegill Joe, Joseph Muragi, in the first game. It's armed with nothing but a sword and shield, but it's faster and lighter than most. Emphasis on most. Having seen the improvements the Stone Soldiers made to their Bluegills firsthand, and the efficacy of its improved thrusters, you activate the preset settings on your account. A similar thruster profile appears on yours, and your hands are replaced by birdlike claws with drills for fingers and a shield on each forearm. You've had time to fine-tune your strategies, after all. Richard grumbles about having to waste points on it, but adds the engines too, replacing his shield with a pair of shoulder-mounted rocket launchers, then trading his mace out for the sword so he can take a single Heavy Missile in a bazooka-style launch tube.

"Opponents located, joining game." Chirps the friendly synthesized announcer.

[Continued]

>>47177904
>hidden playable Roarke mode for if your PC is registered to a female user
>it's just half-nude images of Roarke

>>47177904
The Oda stage plays J-pop and is overly anime. Even defeating him causes him to burst out in haiku and cherry blossums.

>>47177904
>They decide to give the game a more rpg like experience
>there are plenty of romance options in the game that you can follow and hit on
>The sex scene for each one has them scream out Roarke's name

>>47177919
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dofacvjRkc
Does this summarize the theme of the bluegill joe series?

>>47177934
>>47177923
Command plays it once it comes out and demands to know how this got through. Meanwhile a triple team of Sammy, Karen and Clementine are giving each other high fives after their hard work hits the market.

>>47177961
>tfw Clemmy programs in a legit sex-scene for her romance route and it has to be taken out of arcades and bars

>it isn't

>>47177931
now you're nakama
fight with burning hot spirit
cant dattebayo

>>47177904
>the true final boss comes after you beat Roarke

>it's just women. So many women. Women enough to blot out the sun. Holy shit all the women.

>>47177959

Well, 1 had a mostly silent protagonist. See, the first game was based on a true story. Back in the days shortly after the war, pirates were a lot more bold with the UJCIDF, which was comparatively weak versus how it is today. It follows the (mostly) true story of a UJCIDF rookie pilot whose troopship was torpedoed by the Gorgons, a now-extinct pirate fleet. He survives in a damaged Bluegill and ruthlessly hunts every last Gorgon down through a ton of lovingly crafted virtual levels using only a sword and his wits. Or, when Roarke played as a kid, by not drawing the sword and instead grappling enemies so he could snap them or use them as shields.

>>47178044
Neat

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The void seems to swirl upwards around you as your three mechs appear to drop...and land without injury on top of a hill. Ahead of you is a sky with no walls, a planetary surface covered by contoured mountainous terrain with giant caves and arches of stone, scrubby forests, and a wide canyon with a flat bottom.

Mohammed's Bluegill surprises you, drawing its sword with a fencer's flourish and saluting with its tip, "JUSTICE AND PEACE!" Rings out across the comms, the original Bluegill Joe's optimistically cheerful voice and trademark gesture bringing a nostalgic smile to your face.

Up ahead, you see a trio of red icons on a hill across the way, flashing for a moment before they disappear and the game begins.

[Piloting rolls! Since you're in a Bluegill that weighs a bit over thirty tons instead of the mighty Kaiser's 59.5, you only take -3, and with the extra point of Mecha Pilot you're rolling 1d10+16. A series of Bluegill Joe games uses different mechanics than combat for speed's sake, mostly opposed Piloting to calculate points, but it might use traditional combat rules for particularly special individual games.]

Rolled 10 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47178143
Time to Ora Ora

>>47178166
Don't pursue Roarke Bu!

>>47178166
goddamn. we can't ever hold back

>>47178166
Fucking newtypes

>>47178166
Well. Looks like we conquered another station's high score.

>>47178166
>Roarke will never find a true challenge to make him break his limits

Feels bad man

>>47178217
Nah I'm just waiting for a fight against SOUL team b. The die gods will abandon us then.

>>47178217
Yeah man, where's that roll of 11+16?

Rolled 1 + 16 (1d11 + 16)

>>47178251
Right here.

Rolled 7 + 16 (1d11 + 16)

>>47178258
Good effort anon but i think it looks more like this

>>47178276
With exploding dice, your ten and his 1 is 11.

>>47178258
Though others may mock you for your failure, I salute you for trying what lesser men never dare and the wise never believed; having your called dice actually be close to what you want.

Rolled 3, 5, 9, 1, 9 = 27 (5d10)

>>47178166

Richard+13, Mohammed+12, Enemies use +11

>>47178290
Taken from that, that was just as impressive as they wanted it to be.

>>47178258
>Richard+13, Mohammed+12, Enemies use +11

>>47178309
Never stood a chance.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>47178290
I don't think its count if its d11

>>47178300
The proudest moment I had In the past year was I call out a nat 100 and saved a thread

Rolled 4, 3, 7, 6, 2 = 22 (5d10)

>>47178309

59 to 52.

>>47178258

Richard+13, Mohammed+12, Enemies use +11

>>47178321

Oops.

>>47178341
Did you just use a d11 as our legit roll?

Rolled 1, 8, 6, 5, 3 = 23 (5d10)

>>47178341

49 to 48

>>47178276

ROUND THREE!

Richard+13, Mohammed+12, Enemies use +11

>>47178341
Uh, Wong, that 1 was a d11.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>47178341
In case you need a d10 due to the silly shenanigans.

>>47178341
>>47178370
>>47178258
>>47178276

Those were d11, though?

>>47178370

57 to 47. You've won three in a row against your first set of opponents, I'll be typing that up shortly.

>>47178359

The dice gods punished him enough.

The d11s didn't end up making much difference, but now I'll notice it if you do it. Watch out!

>>47178410
But why would you use a d11?

Whatever. We would have gotten a 5 and a 10 if you didn't use em, but it's not like Richard and Moe have a chance even with the handicap.

Rolled 2 (1d4)

Rolling to see which waifu has our first kid

1 for Clemmy, 2 for Karen, 3 for Siren, 4 for Sam

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>47178500
As it should be.

Next up, same order.

>>47178500
>>47178518
THE DICE GODS HAVE SPOKEN!!!

>>47178500
>>47178518
oh wow. dice gods really love underdogs eh

Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>47178500
...

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It's been a while, but you're completely in the zone for the first game. You and Richard have had plenty of time to hone your skills in the second game of the series, and you're familiar enough with the third for them to continue working. The two of you have harlequinned black and white Bluegills, not quite Iron Kestrels colors but close, with the coveted custom heads known as the 'Blues Brothers' piece that you won in a tourney a year or two ago. You're glad they transferred over to 3, something about a Bluegill with a sunglasses-shaped visor is hilarious to you even if it's somewhat impractical.

The enemies, too, have custom models, dark blue and gold and visor-headed 'ninja' models. Their entire movement pattern, based around crouching and springing, all using swords and cannons in place of your more varied weaponry, is a bit different than your own Bluegills. It doesn't help them. In the first match you rack up an insane K/D ratio running up on them and tearing them apart.

In the second match, though, they vent their pique on you, repeatedly jumping you at the spawn point and teaming up in a cluster inside a ruined castle at the center of the virtual valley once Mohammed and Richard drive them off. You may all have the advanced thruster packs, but Mohammed's version is lighter due to lacking most of the weapons, and his moves the fastest, able to kite the enemy right into Richard's rocket salvos. He gets a killstreak that ends with a heavy missile kill to end the game that gets him hatemail from someone whose name is a series of Japanese symbols and a ~_~ face. You begin to suspect that you're playing against Storm Dragons.

In the third match, Richard gets cocky and dies a lot, they avenge their samurai honor on him plenty by getting him repeatedly caught in beamgun crossfire where he can't hit them all with a missile salvo, but again you and Mohammed manage to rescue him with your melee skills in the cramped terrain of the forested part.

[Continued]

To be fair, Clemmy is probably barren from shoving knives up there and Sam doesn't have a womb right now.

>>47178561
How do you think she's so good at CQC?
>where else would you hide a knife?

Later tonight lets make sure to text Clemmy back and see if shes still on the station

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Back in the lobby, the ninja players quit rather than go for another three matches, and the dotted lines and smoke filling the void change colors for some time before you get a new set of challengers. This time, you see them while Mohammed's original version is doing its automated cheer. Red and pink, one is a missile model similar to Richard's with the sword-and-missile combo replaced by a Mace, letting it rely a little more on damage. The second one has a sword in one hand and a claw so large that its flattened fingers resemble a shield when it closes its fist on the other. The third one has a heart-shaped viewer on their Bluegill, paired shields, and paired beam guns. Some of these combinations aren't possible with real Bluegills, but this is, after all, a simgame.

>[Feed me 1d10+16s]

Rolled 7 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47178687
Anime ja nai!

Rolled 9 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47178687
Go after the one thats Red Siren

>>47178680
Let's not.

>>47178712
Stop being Lame

>>47178723
Stop trying to fug the crazy bint.

>>47178712
I like Clemmy. I want to bully Clemmy. I wish to hold her hand.

>>47178741
Ah yes. EMOTIONS. Her one weakness

Rolled 5, 5, 9, 4, 2 = 25 (5d10)

>>47178693


Richard+13, Mohammed+12, Enemy 1 +15, Enemy 2 +13, Enemy 3 +13

>>47178741
We can bully her into submission, I love it

>>47178735
sure i can stop trying but can you stop Roarke S. Starwind?

>>47178766
We control what he does. If we don't do it. He won't do it.

>>47178766
Roarke leaves no lady unsatisfied, just thought of something we should check in with our brother and male sure he's okay I can see him being abducted by our enemies

>>47178788
But we wouldn't be playing as Roarke, you can't make decisions that play against a characters personality

Rolled 1, 8, 9, 10, 8 = 36 (5d10)

>>47178752

58 to 56, a narrow and fortunate win!

>>47178700

Fully acknowledged!


Richard+13, Mohammed+12, Enemy 1 +15, Enemy 2 +13, Enemy 3 +13

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Looks like we need another roll for the tiebreaker.

>>47178788
YOU FOOL!
You do not control him,only the course of his path.
No man can control a legend

Rolled 4 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47178805
The enemy rolls, though. Fuck.

>>47178833
Surprised you forgot about this one. >>47178383
Was it ever used?

>>47178833
Stop tempting me with machines, Wong. My heart belongs to my Magnetic Grappling Hook

>>47178801
Everyone has their own concept of what Roarke is. If it fits in what I perceive I will vote in that way. But I am and will always be a small voice that doesn't want to fug a crazy bint.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>47178833
Have to roll when you post my favorite gundam, Allenbey best girl

>>47178766
>>47178788
>>47178801
>>47178842

A better question is, can you stop Butcher Farragut of SOUL Squadron B if she has duct tape and a stungun?

>>47178867
Well Roarke could take his pants off preemptively and try to disarm her with a surprise round.

>>47178833
https://youtu.be/Lu9dUG3_KNA?t=33m31s

>>47178850

It wasn't formatted properly, alas. I might use it, though, if a particularly funny moment calls for it.

>>47178867
Yes
with willpower, seduction, metal-to-metal action, and technique.

Fortune favors the bold but fate favors the conquerors

>>47178867
She wouldn't need either of those

>>47178867
Yes because the S-Betta will take her head off.

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>>47178854

She's a dancer, Anon.

A. Dancer.

>>47178867
Implying it won't be a sweaty, possibly murderous fight with rough lovemaking conclusion instead of kidnapping.

>>47178914
Then raorke will be the strongest man alive.

Now...if only we can ntr Jesus's girlfriend

>>47178945
We can easily get Clemmy to tell us about her and then we just have to whoo her

>>47178945
Just fuck jesus in the ass. Then his girl becomes ours by default.

Rolled 7, 1, 5, 3, 8 = 24 (5d10)

>>47178805

59 to 68, a solid victory for the other team.

>>47178849


Richard+13, Mohammed+12, Enemy 1 +15, Enemy 2 +13, Enemy 3 +13

Rolled 4 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47178966

>>47178957
>>47178963

At least sleepy knows how to ntr a girl. I said NTR Jesus' girlfriend, not jesus

>>47178966

53 to 57. They win two out of three, but you can always challenge them again.

Writing it up now.

>>47178993
Challenge the leader one on one

>>47178993
We can't let this go uncontested!

>>47179018
This, but not in a game.
1v1 me irl fgt

Or spend some time outside doing other things than just playing at the arcade. Don't forget Karen and Sam are here as well.

>>47179040
yeah this'd be nice, karaoke time?

>>47179040
They'll wait. This 256chan /zz2za/ fuckwit needs to get schooled.

ACTIVATE BURNING BLOOD

>>47179057
>Burning Blood activated

>+5 damage to all hits
>-2 accuracy all hits

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These three don't wait around and don't sit still reacting to things. The lead Bluegill, in fact, thruster-jumps up the largest mountain on the map (the scarlet soil and fantastic mountains of Mars rather than the more Terran-like map of the first game) to spring down directly at you when the terrain separates you from the others.

Wrist-mounted beam guns slice your Bluegill in half before it can close, and the heart-eyed bluegill does a little pirouette and poses with one hand in the air as you respawn. The headset function activates, and a familiar, honey-sweet voice, rich and musical, purrs into your ears.

"I know that build, darling~ This is going to be SO much fun~" With a wicked little chuckle, she and her teammates get to work. She manages to kill you more times than you kill her, but it's a hard fight. Your squadmates outperform the other two, overpowering them by enough of a margin to squeak out a win.

Which is why they cheat so much in the next match.

You and the leader square off again, the two of you fighting brilliantly across a snowy mesa, you only managing to edge out her by a scant handful of points. Richard underperforms terribly in this battle, the mace Bluegill on the enemy team is apparently sending him private messages, because he keeps roaring "I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" like a wounded bear across the comms. The poor, honest Bosun of the Iron Kestrels is too pure not to be flustered, and his missile salvos keep missing, giving the mace Bluegill plenty of easy kills. It even teabags his machine, how monstrous! Only Mohammed seems able to stay focused, zipping around getting speedkills and avoiding the enemy sword Bluegill. Both teams play extremely well, but the killstreak the mace Bluegill gets on Richard gives her team the victory.

"So much fun...you've gotten better, sweet Roarke. But are you good enough to defeat the Princess of Space? Fufufu~"

[Continued]

>>47179146
They cheated?

Well now I want to hurt them.

That's not cool.

>>47179146
Goddamn dirty pirates.

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In the third match, you and the leader perform dead even, even scoring kills on people who aren't each other for a while before you're drawn back into the dance of dodging between her beamguns while she tries to stay out of your lethal range. Both of you destroy each other over and over again, your scores exactly the same...both even though you're doing as well as she is on average according to the game's stats, her teammates don't play around one bit. Richard takes vengeance on the mace Bluegill several times, and scores plenty of other kills, but the sword Bluegill has found its stride with Mohammed.

Apparently, it's chosen to ambush him at the spawn, pinning him down with its large claw to negate his superior speed.

"ADMIRAL! ADMIRAL SHE KEEPS TALKING TO ME, SHE'S SAYING THINGS UNFIT FOR AN UNMARRIED WOMAN! THIS IS CHEATING! CHEATING!" The Martian protests, but you're too busy with Rosita to help him out.

It's a dirtier, less technique-driven match on both sides, a slugfest that ends with a victory for the other team on account of their bad habits. The three of them high-five as the lobby reforms around you, but they don't quit and as the party leader your team won't exit the game unless you do.

>[What do?]

>>47179218
"One on one, Red. You versus me. You want to whisper sweet nothings into someone's ear, it should be the one who's fucking you into the ground."

>>47179218
Exit the game and talk to Richard. Grow the fuck up you daft bastard.

>>47179249
I like it, backing

>>47179250

They got Mohammed too.

>>47179319
Him as well. They cannot lose their head even in a simulated battle.

>>47179218
Rematch, but no shit talking. We have honor guys remember?

We can't just, I don't know, call them out and then leave?

>>47179330
You have a point, but that can wait. We can't lose points with a waifu! We've got to remain dominant and therefore a good mate.

>>47179332
We're a pirate. You never played Monkey Island? Shit talking is like half of what we do.

>>47179332
Let's do it

>>47179332
We do have honor but that doesn't stop us from flirting with a waifu while our other two watch

>>47179332
No bantz in a sim game?! You're dead to me, anon.

>>47179372
Dont bait the waifus, Thunder.

File: restraining smugness for (...).png (521 KB, 750x750)

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inb4 Red Siren continually kites and snipes us from afar, taunting us all the way

>>47179351
We already have two with us. Let's just how out and give her praise while chewing our men out for loosing their cool.

>tfw if it were a real fight Muhammed would have died and Richard would have ignored it

>and Roarke would have one shotted everything before then

>>47179399
Roarke doesn't back down from challenges Sleepy

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>>47179399
It's like you don't even want the harem end.

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"Roooaaaarkey~" She purrs over the headset comms, "Does this mean you're buying me dinner? Such a gentleman! I knew you came back here for me, but I didn't know you would be so thrilling." Her Bluegill, floating across from yours, hugs itself.

"You're not doing badly yourself, but your team plays dirty."

"We're pirates, Roarkey, view it as my officers preparing yours for real life. Ushering them into manhood, as it were. Although I didn't order them to and I really hope you tell Richard's girlfriend not to take it personally." Given that she lost an eye as a consequence making time with another woman's husband before turning to piracy, you aren't absolutely sure she has room to talk...but perhaps she's learned her lesson. She still has a strong streak of pride, though, and you can use that to avenge your crew.


"One on one, Red. You versus me. You want to whisper sweet nothings into someone's ear, it should be the one who's fucking you into the ground." You hold up one finger of your Bluegill.

"Roarke! My sweet nothings are only for your ear...but if you want to play privately, well, I'll happily be your sparring partner. Win or lose, lovely, you've made me smile so much. I wish you could see it." She makes a kissing sound into the microphone, and the two of you activate a one on one duel. This time, it's on a swampy colony, with high upthrust rocky outcroppings that provide footing but ultimately make one's flying game highly important.

"Here I come~ I hope to be saying that to you again soon, my songbird."

>[Final series of rolls! 1d10+16, and you can spend Luck if you specify how much.]

>>47179423
Roarke doesn't let his men become sloppy and lose their cool Thunder.

Rolled 8 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47179430
Witness me!

Rolled 6 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47179430
Bearhug her

>>47179435
We can chew them out later

Rolled 6 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47179430
LET US SEE WHO THE REAL WINNER IS!
I'd like to use 2 luck.

File: i dunno would she have go(...).png (443 KB, 564x730)

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Rolled 10 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47179430
Here we go!

Rolled 10 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47179430
I want to spend ALL THE LUCK

Rolled 10 + 16 (1d10 + 16)

>>47179430

>>47179455
>>47179455
>>47179455

YES YES YES YES YES

>>47179452
>>47179455
>>47179456
What is HAPPENING!?

Why do the dice have to reach CRITICAL MASS when they are no longer being used? So unfair.

>>47179452
>>47179455
>>47179456

Wong please.

>>47179452
>>47179455
>>47179456
wat

>>47179452
>>47179455
>>47179456
JESUS BLOODY CHRIST. That ten trio has to be used against her just due to the sheer audacity of it all.

>>47179452
>>47179455
>>47179456

AW SHIT ROARKE HOGAN IS BACK

>>47179452
>>47179455
>>47179456
We are unworthy plebs in face of the Crit Gods.

>>47179477
YOU DARE TO MESS WITH MY BROTHERs HUH,SISTER?
WELL ROARKEMANIA IS COMING FOR YOU

>>47179346

They didn't technically break any rules.

When Roarke sets his eyes on a waifu

>>47179452
The Dice Gods pause.

>>47179455
The Chance Gods smile.

>>47179456
And the Gods of ROCK send forth their POWER

>>47179489
Maybe we should let out a different one this time like Macho Man or Ultimate Warrior

>>47179475
We are witnessing something that can only be seen once in a full moon. When exploding dice become nuclear.

>>47179471

This game has more rounds than the previous match, I'm using all of them.

>>47179521
based Wong

Shes gonna hear the music playing inside our hearts, which song is it anons

>>47179503
or we go full Space Pirate Captain Harlock

Rolled 4, 8, 2, 4, 4, 2 = 24 (6d10)

>>47179442
>>47179447
>>47179450
>>47179452
>>47179455
>>47179456

>>47179532
Oh god.

She just got so fucking destroyed.

She took ONE ROUND away. And only BARELY.

>>47179528
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0

>>47179532
Is someone recording this match? Hell, can we stream this?

>>47179532
OOOOOHHHH YYYYEEEEAAAHHHH

>>47179552
That made me realize, this is the first real match we've been in since we become world famous ship punchers.
So... If we streamed this...
The 'verse might be watching.

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>>47179532
>those rolls

>>47179562
>this is where Roarke Daki's take off to make an actual profitable business rather than the thing Clemmy bought all of.

>>47179573
Why would she buy so many?

Because she couldn't wash the stains out, of course!

>>47179532
I am honestly just picturing her going a 4th round winner takes all against us, bringing her posse and we just went full over-man mode against such audacity.

>>47179552
We need a catchy title though, how about

Dashing Rogue dominates poor little idol

>>47179595
"The Princess of Space goes Six Rounds With an Insatiable Bull"

>>47179573
Ha! It's funny because she's the one giving the hugs this time.

>>47179595
Red Head couldn't take both fists.

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Your thrusters dig a furrow in the black water behind you as you charge.

"Now darling, let's play nice and have a little fu-"

You cut her off. Your PC has your soundtrack on it, and you blast China Girl at full volume to negate her trickery.

What follows is a onesided tide of absolute destruction. She gets you in one match out of sheer luck and pique, but after that it's a nonstop slaughter. You tear her Bluegill's head off. You poke out its eye sensor. You dismember it. You punch the torso to chaff. You rip off its limbs. You put it over your Bluegill's knee and spank it like a naughty sorority girl while she wails at you over the comms.

"My crew is waaaaatchiiiiiing!" She wails.

"I'LL GIVE YOU TELEVISION! I'LL GIVE YOU EYES OF BLUE!" You roar back.

Finally, in the last match, you lock her mech up from behind in a perfect hold, its head down between your legs as you fly up to the maximum altitude the game allows and cut thrusters, dropping at maximum speed to dash her Bluegill headfirst into a rock, shattering it to pieces. You have time to stand up, dust off your hands, and pat her dismembered machine on the head before it fades out and the YOU WIN screen appears.

"Roarke, you brute." She sounds huffy but not angry, "People could see that!"

>[How respond?]

>>47179629
Yeah and? It was just a sim.

>>47179629
Guess you'll have to convince me to not upload it, see you at dinner

>>47179629
>"I'm sure in a real battle you'd have trashed me, these sims just don't do you justice, and I'm a long time gamer anyway."

Save her dignity, at least try.

>>47179645
Backing, you dashing rogue you.

>>47179629
I had to stick up for my crew. You wanna talk about it over dinner?

>>47179645
I sense a roarke spirit in you. backing

>>47179645
>implying Sam hasn't already uploaded it to try and strike a blow at the waifubowl contender that is Red Siren.

>>47179629
>"I know. That's for you to imagine what I'll do to you once there's no one watching."
>POKER FACE

>>47179645
You, whats with all this mind reading business? Backing!

>>47179676
I don't know what your talking about, and yes you are out of milk

>>47179727
THE PROPHET

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You sigh heavily, as if about to apologize...then with a big, smug grin of your own, you say, "I guess you'll have to convince me not to upload it to the holonet, then. See you at dinner."

Before she can respond, you quit the game. Richard high-fives you, and after a moment of hesitation Mohammed does too. As proud as you are, you have to give them a little grief before you can go enjoy your burgers.

"This doesn't happen in a real battle, understood? No matter who the enemy is, don't get distracted." You cross your arms and stare evenly at them. They look ashamed and have trouble meeting your eyes even with all three of you wearing sunglasses.

"Mohammed, enemies don't always play fair, it's good you're learning that early. Richard, you don't have an excuse, you're one of my most senior officers. I know you have Miles, but she'd be yelling at you even louder."

They both nod, and you grin and clap them both on the back, "So Richard, you're paying."

The girls, meanwhile, have been watching the match on a holoscreen inset onto the table. They aren't just talking about your strategy, though, and despite the big finish they don't seem as cheerful as you'd expect. Samantha looks at Karen seriously, "That's her?"

"That's her." The mechanic nods firmly.

"She's dangerous." The Corporal replies mildly.

"She's very dangerous." The mechanic replies even more firmly.

"Will he be alright?" Samantha asks, sounding genuinely worried and looking up at you with large, pale eyes.

"If we're vigilant. I showed you the footage of what her hussy..." she lowers her voice to a whisper when she says hussy, "...Archen did to the Knuckle Kaiser, right? She was practically rubbing the paintjob off!"

"Truly deplorable, my S-Betta is a refined lady and far more reserved, it would never..." Samantha puts a hand to her chest, demurely shaking her head.

"Liar." You wink at her affectionately, and she blushes as you sit down.

[Continued]

>>47179727

I really am out of milk, and now seriously spooked.

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>>47179827

Thunder for Space Pope

>>47179807
>>47179827
Please don't call me a prophet or miracle worker or anything crazy like that, just the eternal light gracing the darkest shadows will be fine

>>47179838
Or how bout ya eat a dick ya fake.

Nah love ya mate even if I argue with ya.

Latecomer here guys, but I couldn't help but notice the 10 hat trick. Yesterday, there was 3 nat 100s on the quest I was on...in like an hour.

Anyone want to make 4chan new dice?

>>47179871
Its just luck and hindsight bias, what about all the other rolls in the other quests that weren't noteworthy or juat plan bad

>>47179871
The Dice Gods care not what dice you use, only acknowledging that they are limitless tools of Their infinite will.

>>47179815
Two shitty waifus ganging up against the better girls.

>>47179896
Anon sincerely fuck off and stay fucked off.

>>47179896
Hey theres only one shitty waifu in there and its not the one with a dick

>>47179896
hey! karen is not a shitty waifu!

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>>47179896
All waifu a best
Harem Ending is Go

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Karen only gets to look momentarily smug before you turn it on her too, "And you're fussing over the Kaiser enough to make me jealous. How am I supposed to feel with my woman being more worried about my mech than me?" You sigh, "I'll just have to try harder."

"R-ROARKE!?" Her face turns stawberry red and she covers it with her hands, "You...you..."

"Brute?" Samantha replies helpfully.

"Brute!" Karen agrees, "...But I like him for it."

You grin and put your arm around her, taking a page out of Red Siren's book and saying everything you can think of to make the pair of them blush while Richard goes and buys the food. Mohammed listens in, sipping his drink, "I'm learning a lot, Admiral." He says finally.

"Good, being a role model is the most rewarding part of what I do." You nod approvingly as your food arrives. The cheeseburger is cooked to perfection, a slab of delicious steak with crispy bacon, melty cheese, and tasty wheat buns. This ancient Terran meal is a classic that will never die out as a gourmet food, thanks to the influence of the ancient Americans.

>[Make further remarks to tease Sam and Karen? If so, what?]

>>47179915
Dear god no. Just Karen and Sam. Everyone else just gets pumped them dumped.