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I’m taking a small break from Nav Quest/SitS and focusing on ideas that are less structured. Hopefully it’ll help me break my writing block on both. And yes, before you ask, this will be Megas XLR flavored at times. Meaning over-the-top silliness/shonen and probably 40k canon-breaking, just like the first Khornette Quest thread. If that bothers you I’d suggest you turn back now.

For those of you who read the old KQ and care about continuity, this’ll take place sometime after the ending and after Khorne’s back on the throne. For those of you who have no idea what’s going on - all you need to know is Cinder’s a Bloodthirster and tired of everyone’s shit. If you really wanna catch up, here’s an archive link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZlPV-W2T9xDEzsSxYq8OLHnB7CKfB0eUAQyH4vj2lU8/edit?usp=sharing

If we need to do any rolls they’ll be in the style of Black Crusade. I.e. three anons will roll a 1d100 and we’ll use the lowest. A 1 (or an 8) is a guaranteed success, and a 100 is a guaranteed failure. Standard 40k stuff, just simplified. I’ll be hiding the DCs as well to keep things interesting.

If you have any questions, now’s the time to ask.

>>46950795
The moment the Herald’s out of sight you weigh your options. Last you knew, your prefered daemon engine, the Brass Scorpion Sheila, was lurking in Tzeentch’s domain. It’s been awhile since you last visited the bird. This might be a good time to catch up. If nothing else, Ignitrix could offer you guidance on what’s ahead of you.

Then again, if you show up with something that’s not entirely Khorne-flavored Gorwrath might whine. He certainly seems like the type who would, given that he’s stooped so low as to hide behind a hostage. The downside to starting fresh is precisely that. Well, that and the fact you’d have to deal with the Forge Daemon Wormbag’s usual crap.

A third option occurs to you as your eyes wander over the Lake of Slaughter. Sytili might be captured but her Hive Fleet, Hellfire, should still have Kaysis and Acerea in the wings. They might be able to grow you an engine-equivalent.

Finally, you could just show up without a daemon engine and hope Fatebreaker’s enough to see you through. But that too carries the risk of Gorwrath being a child. Though if you must be honest you’re going to kill him regardless of how much he complains. It’s really just a matter of how you want others to see you afterwards.

> [1] Visit Ignitrix
> [2] Visit Wormbag
> [3] Visit Hive Fleet Hellfire
> [4] Skip getting an engine and go to Nuhjersy

>>46950830
>[1] Visit Ignitrix
So yeah, I suggest you first look at the frontpage of /tg/ and don't buy into the bullshit that it is.

>>46950830
>> [1] Visit Ignitrix

>>46950880
I noticed but decided to avoid that board for the time being. Maybe once things have calmed down or if a mod kicks me over there.

>>46950830
> [1] Visit Ignitrix

>>46950830
> [2] Visit Wormbag
Gonna punch him in the face, that'll make all this more tolerable.

>>46950925
Honestly good thing you did, They're actively deleting ACTUAL threads over there.

>>46950830
> [2] Visit Wormbag

Iggy it is by a vote. Back in a bit!

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>>46950830

The process of “infiltrating” Tzeentch’s twisted realm is trivial to you. Mostly because Ignitrix left you a rather convenient backdoor that allows you to skip 99% of the sorcery bullshit between point A and B. After taking the shortcut, you find yourself in nullspace before a brick and mortar, human-styled, single-floor home. In the yard is Ignitrix’s stuffed dog, running in circles. Your brass scorpion, Sheila, is nowhere to be found. The last time you were here it was parked off to the side of the house, along with several corrupted acolytes. Neither is there currently.

You quickly walk up the stone path to the front door and knock loudly. “Oi! It’s Cin-”

Before you can finish, the door swings open. “Yes yes, I know it’s you,” says a familiar voice from inside. “Come in.”

The interior of the house is fairly spartan. There’s a single couch before a large table, across from which sits a high-backed chair facing a TV set. Said TV is currently displaying nothing but static. Supposedly it contains all sorts of information and possibilities, but you’ve never been able to see them. In any case, a clawed hand emerges from the side of the chair and directs you to sit on the couch.

Once you’ve seated yourself, Ignitrix swivels in her chair to face you. She’s much as you left her last time. Well, almost. You think she might have made herself a smidge taller but it’s hard to tell for sure.

“So Cinder, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

> [1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila
> [2] No time to explain. Where’s Sheila?
> [3] Could you build me a daemon engine?
> [4] Write in

>>46951260
> [1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila

You picked tonight of all nights?

>>46951260
>[1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila

>>46951260
> [1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila
>Unless you can build something better?

>>46951352
Oh look at the clever monkey!

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>>46951260
>[1] Some asshole wants to have a mech fight, so you need Sheila

Gettin' the band back together

[1] it is. Back shortly!

Also cheers, Janitor/Mod.

>>46951471
Pleasantly surprised here, myself

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>>46951260

“In short, a pathetic excuse of a Khornate daemon wants to fight me,” you reply. “But only in Engine to Engine combat for whatever stupid reason.”

Ignitrix raises an eyebrow. “I see. So you’ll want Sheila then?”

You nod. “That was the idea, yes.”

“Hm. Well right now she’s…” Ignitrix taps her chin in thought. “...I believe she’s currently terrorizing one of the fringe worlds in the Koronus Expanse. She wanted to vaporize something so I happily obliged. I could call her back in a second, of course. I just want to be sure before interrupting her fun.”

“Well as she’s the only pilotable daemon engine I can think of off the top of my head…”

“Tell me, did this daemon who challenged you specify the engine had to be Khornate in origin?”

You shake your head. “No, but he’s liable to whine if it’s not.”

“Like that’ll stop you from cleaving him in two.”

“It’s the principle of the thing, Iggy.”

“Right right. I just thought you might want something a bit more flashy or powerful. A Brass Scorpion is great and all, but who knows what’s waiting for you. It’d be rather difficult for you if your opponent turned out to have a Titan.”

A laugh escapes from your lips. “If he’s cowardly enough to do so, he’s obviously compensating. Then again, he did take Sytili hostage so who knows.”

Ignitrix frowns at that. “Hrm. Well as I said, I can have Sheila back here in an instant. Just let me know what you want me to do.”

> [1] You’ll use O.G. Sheila
> [2] Let Iggy spruce up Sheila a bit
> [3] Ask if Iggy could build you something from scratch
> [4] Write in

>>46951614
> [2] Let Iggy spruce up Sheila a bit

>>46951614
> [2] Let Iggy spruce up Sheila a bit

>>46951614
>[3] Ask if Iggy could build you something from scratch

>>46951614
[2]

>>46951614
>[3] Ask if Iggy could build you something from scratch

OH! The shiny red button!

[2] by a vote. Back in a bit!

>>46951614

After deliberating for a few minutes, you reply, “Bring her back. Then you can work your magic to make her truly terrifying.”

“You’ve got it!”

Ignitrix snaps her fingers. Instantly you hear a loud explosion and screams coming from outside.

“BY THE EMPEROR. WHAT DID YOU DO OCTAVIUS?!”

“I KNEW BRINGING A PSYKER WAS A BAD IDEA!”

“IT WASN’T ME! WE-”

## Firing Main Cannon. ##

Another blast rocks the house, then silence. You raise an eyebrow at Ignitrix. She shrugs and says, “It was an area teleport. Guess it caught some Imperials. Not that it matters.”

“More skulls is never a bad thing. But to business. What do you plan on doing to Sheila?”

A sparkle twinkles in Ignitrix’s eyes. “I had a few ideas, actually. You just have to pick which one(s) you want.”

She waves her hand and conjures up several images in mid air. They float before you, showing off each upgrade in turn.

> Pick up to two
> [1] Size - It really is everything. This will boost Sheila to be half the size of a Titan.
> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones
> [3] Speed - Give Sheila a fresh coat of red paint and fit her with oversized boosters
> [4] Defence - Fit Sheila with a vehicle sized forcefield
> [5] Write in

>>46952052
> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones
> [4] Defence - Fit Sheila with a vehicle sized forcefield
Size is fun, but I don't think we need to make a bigger target if we can compensate other ways.

>>46952052
>[1] Size - It really is everything. This will boost Sheila to be half the size of a Titan.
> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones

>>46952052
>[1] Size - It really is everything. This will boost Sheila to be half the size of a Titan
> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones

GO BIG OR GO HOME

[2] for sure, and I believe [1] has it over [4] by a vote. Back in a bit!

>>46952052
> [2] More Cannons - Split the main tail cannon into several independent ones
>[4] Defence - Fit Sheila with a vehicle sized forcefield

And we should prepare for a boarding action in case that jerk brought a titan

So who else figured out this was a giant prank?
ALso if any mods see this, G fucking G you actually convinced me for quite a while, I'm not even mad anymore I find it bloody impressive that you could pull this off.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>46952348
Bah, right as I post. Lemme roll it off. 1 -> [1], 2-> [4]

>>46950925
don't go even then, the place is fucking retarded

>>46952052

You pick the first upgrade rather quickly. The way you see it, there’s always room for more weapons. The second upgrade, however, takes you a bit longer. You go back and forth between boosting Sheila’s size and giving her a forcefield. In the end, you settle on the forcefield. You’re Cinder. You don’t need to be the biggest daemon around to be the best. Staying small and nimble has proven to work for you in the past.

Once you’ve finished picking, Ignitrix claps her hands together. “Got it. Let’s do this thing.”

She stands and motions for you to follow her. Then she floats outside to where Sheila is waiting. The Brass Scorpion is coated in fresh battle scars, ranging from scratches and gouges in the metal shell to blood spatters across the front. With one hand outstretched, Ignitrix psychically raises the daemon engine into the air and begins her work. Her pace is astonishing. No sooner has she split the main tail into individual parts does she fit them all back together in a new configuration. Similarly, the cockpit section sees a small expansion to accommodate the forcefield generators.

Some ten minutes later, the new and improved Sheila is lowered back down to the ground. Ignitrix turns to you with a big grin on her face. “All done. Try not to have too much fun without me, eh?”

Now there’s a thought. You might want to bring the bird along for repairs and/or witty banter. Then again…

> [1] Ask if Iggy wants to come
> [2] Thank Iggy for her time and ask for a teleport to Nuhjersy
> [3] Write in

>>46952587
>[1] Ask if Iggy wants to come
Maybe we could go see if "Nurgle" wants to come also?

>>46952587
>[1] Ask if Iggy wants to come

Can't quest without best bird. Who would we headpat?

>>46952587
> [1] Ask if Iggy wants to come

>>46952587
> [1] Ask if Iggy wants to come

[1] it is, back shortly!

>>46952587
>[1] Ask if Iggy wants to come
> [2] Thank Iggy for her time and ask for a teleport to Nuhjersy

Whynotboth.jpg

>>46952587
>Nuhjersy
Fuck me i just got it.

>>46952587

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Ignitrix wants to come along. You smirk and fold your arms across your chest. “If you want to come that badly, just say so.”

“Hmph!” replies Ignitrix with a pout. “Never. But I suppose *someone* capable of tactical thinking should come along.”

“Remind me, who won our last chess game?”

“Flipping the board over, chopping it to pieces, and yelling that ‘Queen’s are bullshit’ doesn’t count as winning.”

“You didn’t take my king. That’s what matters.”

A loud sigh emanates from your feathered compatriot. “Whatever keeps you happy. Lucky for you I foresaw this exact situation and retrofitted Sheila accordingly.”

You reach out and bat the bird on her head. “Excellent. Let’s get going then.”

The pair of you move over to Sheila’s side. From there you hop up on top of the Brass Scorpion’s crimson shell and open up the pilot’s compartment. Ignitrix wasn’t lying. It’s far more spacious than you remember. In fact, it might be bigger on the inside thanks to a little trick of sorcery. There’s plenty of room to accommodate both your large form and Ignitrix. Naturally, you take the pilot’s seat, while Ignitrix slips into the back seat. Then you seal the engine and coax it back to life.

“So, where exactly are we going?” asks Ignitrix. You turn back to look at her, only to find she’s got several readouts and holo-displays before her.

“A planet called Nuhjersy. Ever heard of it?”

“Can’t say I have. But it shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

The blue daemon closes her eyes for a moment as she concentrates. They snap open after a few seconds. “Got it. It lies within the Eye of Terror. Or, rather, it does *now* after the latest expansion.”

“Lovely. Mind teleporting us there?”

“I already have.”

> cont

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>>46953048
You blink slowly. Sure enough, when you look outside you see a vast cityscape. Countless skyscrapers and other towering buildings line the streets. Most of them are in various states of disrepair and corruption. Everything’s illuminated by a massive white giant star that takes up a good eighth of the sky.

“Where do we go from here?” Ignitrix questions.

“We have to find this ‘Gorwrath,’” you reply. “I don’t suppose you could point us in the right direction?”

“Normally I would. But there’s a strange miasma that’s making it hard to differentiate individual entities. The good news is it masks our signature as well.”

Great. Guess you’ll just have to do it the old-fashioned way.

> [1] Pick a direction and stick with it
> [2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge
> [3] Have Iggy try and pinpoint at least one entity
> [4] Write in

>>46953088
> [2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge

>>46953088
>[2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge

We dig giant robots! Chicks dig giant robots!

>>46953088
> [2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge

>>46953088
>[2] Turn on Sheila’s speakers and shout a challenge
>Also start blaring https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2tYJoocSgg on the mic

[2] it is. Roll me a 1d100 if you would be so kind

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>46953308

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>46953308

Hear me Dice Gods!

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>46953308

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>46953308

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>>46953370
FUCKING NICE!

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>46953308

>>46953370
Damn you!

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>>46953343
>>46953352
>>46953370

Well then. Back in a bit.

>>46953400
Low is good here anon

>>46953380
>>46953408
You're welcome!

>>46953418
Oh shit, right. Been a while heh.

>>46953088

The way you see it, announcing your presence is the quickest way to get a fight. So you flip on Sheila’s speakers, dial them up to 11, and shout, “GORWRATH. WHERE ARE YOU HIDING, YOU CRAVEN WEAKLING?!”

Your voice echoes down the empty streets. In the silence that follows you find yourself on edge. Right when you’re ready to repeat your challenge, a massive boulder comes flying at you from one of the neighboring roads. Sheila’s new forcefield deflects it easily, not that it needed to. You spin the engine around to face your foe, only to be confused moments later.

Before you is a strange, pyramid-shaped robot. It’s silver in color with green energy lines throughout. Six spider-like legs suspend it above the pavement.

## Who dares challenge N.E.G.I.S.? ##

Seems you’ve attracted something that isn’t your target. Best to deal with it quickly.

“I’m looking for Gorwrath, not you,” you reply. “Point me in his general direction and I shall grant you a quick death.”

## The N.E.G.I.S. Mark X is invincible. No weapon forged by such a primitive daemon can defeat N.E.G.I.S., which is invincible. ##

“GORWRATH! ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF FIGHTING THAT YOU SEND ANOTHER IN YOUR PLACE?!”

This time you actually get a reply. It’s the voice of the Herald who came to summon you at the Lake of Slaughter. “BEFORE YOU CAN FACE THE GRAND GORWRATH, YOU MUST FIGHT SEVERAL-”

Khorne damn it. Well guess you’d better get to killing this Necron thing in front of you.

> [1] Fire all the cannons at it.
> [2] Close the distance and chop it to pieces
> [3] Exit your engine and use Fatebreaker to tear it asunder
> [4] Write in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8FYqGX-xTw

>>46953546
>> [1] Fire all the cannons at it.

>>46953546
> [1] Fire all the cannons at it.

>>46953546
>[1] Fire all the cannons at it.

Maximum BOOM!

>>46950810
You cannot comprehend how happy all of this makes me. I missed the firsts quest, and now it's back with bits from my favorite cartoon!

[1] it is. Roll me another 1d100 to see how well you dakka dakka dakka

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>46953769

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>46953781

>>46953546
>> [1] Fire all the cannons at it.
>> [2] Close the distance and chop it to pieces
>> [3] Exit your engine and use Fatebreaker to tear it asunder

Everything at once!! Megas XLR Demands over the top madness in all actions!!!

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>46953769
Let's try that again

>>46950795
You cannot comprehend how happy this makes me! I missed the first quest, and now it's back with bits from my favorite cartoon!

>>46953546

>>46953781
>>46953830
>>46954114

Now’s a good a time as any to test the new weapon modification. You flick several switches, causing Sheila’s scorpion tail to split into three separate cannons. In addition, the two claws at the front of the engine fold back on themselves to reveal four hellmaw cannons a piece. Combined with the secondary demolisher cannon in the “mouth” of the Brass scorpion, you’ve got quite a bit of firepower.

## I am the Necron Engineered for Galactic Infiltration and Sabotage Mark X. Surrender now, and I will destroy you peacefully. ##

“Surrender this,” you retort, slamming one of the many big red buttons that activate your dakka. You can feel the cannons charging as Sheila vibrates and hums. Then all twelve heavy artillery fire. So powerful is the combined recoil that you’re pushed back along the street, Sheila’s legs digging great trenches as you go. The weapons discharge for a solid four seconds, then shut off.

As the smoke clears, you see that you’ve all but evaporated the pyramid in its entirety. The Necron lists to one side, trembles, then collapses to the ground.

“Well that was easy,” you say, turning away and dusting off Sheila’s claws.

“Hold on Cinder,” Ignitrix says. “I’m still reading power fluctuations from it.”

By the time you’ve turned back around, the pyramid has half-reformed. Seems that pure dakka isn’t going to cut it. Or maybe you’re just not applying enough of it.

> [1] Apply more dakka
> [2] Smashing is your strength
> [3] [1], then [2], followed by a flurry of blows from Fatebreaker (>>46954002)
> [4] Write in

>>46954151

>Attack!

>>46954151
And I forgot my trip. GG no re. Though I suppose it wouldn't be a KQ without that happening at least once.

>>46954151
>> [3] [1], then [2], followed by a flurry of blows from Fatebreaker

Do all of the things!!

Wait what. I remember this quest.

>>46954176
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXqOLWjIByg

But with smashing at the end

>>46954151
>[1] Apply more dakka

There is no overkill. There is only open fire and I need to reload.

>>46954151
> [3] [1], then [2], followed by a flurry of blows from Fatebreaker

[3]? [3]. Back in a bit.

>>46954433
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0D8JDFeahs

For inspiration

>>46954151

You’ve got better things to do than to be waylaid by a regenerating Necron. So you reactivate the cannons and take aim.

“What makes you think that’ll work this time?” asks Ignitrix.

“Just watch and see,” you reply.

Again you unleash a staggering amount of firepower at N.E.G.I.S., but this time you don’t stop there. The second you’re able to move again, you rush Sheila headlong towards the Necron mech. You then apply a furious set of blows with her claws before it can even collapse to the ground. Then, to top things off, you pop the hatch, step out with Fatebreaker at the ready, and add your own strength to the attack. The daemon weapon flares with gleeful fire as it slices and dices the Necron to pieces.

All said and done you’re left with not a piece larger than your pinky finger. You give the scrap heap another cleave or ten for good measure, then say, “And stay down.”

N.E.G.I.S. doesn’t reply, nor does it show any sign of regenerating. Content that you’ve actually killed it, you hop back inside Sheila and turn the speakers back on.

“WHAT’S NEXT GORWRATH? OR WAS THAT THE BEST YOU HAVE TO OFFER?”

The Necron debris begins to phase out of existence. In its place materializes a Chaos Space Marine clad in red terminator armor. Or, rather, it looks like terminator armor, just a bit bigger. Though even then he’s not nearly as large as Sheila is.

“I am Skullgar!” shouts the new foe. “The destroyer! Death Dealer! Surely you must have heard of me!”

> [1] Nope
> [2] Oh yeah… (Nope)
> [3] Write in

>>46954579
> [1] Nope
>3 Yawn dismissively then shoot him to death

>>46954579
>[1] Nope

>>46954579
> [3] Write in
Say we recognize him, and attribute our memory to some erroneous and massively insulting facts.

>>46954579
>Say we recognize him, and attribute our memory to some erroneous and massively insulting facts.

All of this, plus call him a Slaneshii Whore, that always pisses off Khornates.

>>46954579

“Nope,” you reply. “Unless… Yeah I might remember you. You’re the guy who had trouble killing even the lamest Arbites. The Slaaneshii whore who ended up being cornered and captured, whining for Khorne to save him all the while.”

He growls, the noise amplified by his helmet. “How dare you mock me! I am Skullgar the Despoiler! Skullgar the…”

With a yawn you raise one of Sheila’s claws and bring it down squarely on the CSM’s head.

“That was easy,” you say to Ignitrix. Only to have Sheila be thrown through the air moments later. You go sailing into a building, causing it to collapse in on itself. Both Sheila and you are fine, though this Skullgar now has your curiosity.

“This probably doesn’t need saying, but be careful,” remarks Ignitrix. “He’s clearly more capable than his appearance suggests.”

“Clearly.”

> [1] Taunt him again
> [2] Apply the dakka
> [3] You can take this guy without a daemon engine
> [4] Write in

>>46954855
>[2] Apply the dakka

>>46954855
> [1] Taunt him again
> [2] Apply the dakka

>>46954855
> [2] Apply the dakka
Is there any other way to do things?

>>46954855
>> [2] Apply the dakka

>>46954855
>> [1] Taunt him again
>> [2] Apply the dakka

Unless he proves himself worthy of death by sword, these are the only options worth considering

>>46954855
>[2] Apply the dakka

Everybody gets some dakka. We're generous like that.

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We'z bein' propah Orky tonight. [2] it is with maybe a taunt thrown in. Roll me another 1d100 if you could.

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>46955029

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>46955029

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>46955029

>>46955037
>>46955071
>>46955090

Mkay. Back in a bit!

>>46954855

The way you see it, until he proves otherwise, Skullgar is only fit to be destroyed by your daemon engine’s superior firepower. He’s not shown any reason to warrant you facing him mano a mano. Though to be “fair,” you only use your tail-mounted cannons this time around. The trio of bright blue lances pierces the air with a loud thundercrack and sends Skullgar flying into a conveniently placed oil refinery. Surprisingly, the CSM is still standing when the fire and smoke from the explosion dies down.

“Hah!” he shouts. “Is that the best you have to offer? I expected more from the ‘great and powerful Cinder.’”

You grind your teeth at that. Ignitrix picks up on this and says, “Don’t let him rile you up. Focus on finding his weak spot.”

“You mean besides his size?” you retort.

“Yes, besides that.”

> [1] Play things defensively until Ignitrix can come up with something
> [2] Stick with your strengths - Slashing and Smashing
> [3] Maybe he IS worthy of dying by Fatebreaker
> [4] Write in

>>46955223
> [2] Stick with your strengths - Slashing and Smashing

>>46955223
>> [1] Play things defensively until Ignitrix can come up with something

We brought our eventual girlfriend here for a reason, so we might as well let her do her thing.

>>46955223
>[2] Stick with your strengths - Slashing and Smashing

>>46955223
> [2] Stick with your strengths - Slashing and Smashing
Fatebreaker can come out if it's still standing.

>>46955223
>[2] Stick with your strengths - Slashing and Smashing

CINDER SMASH!

[2] it is. Let's see how well you slash and smash. Another 1d100 if you would.

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>46955483
EZ PZ

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>46955483

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>46955506

>>46955506
>>46955518
>>46955521

So-So. Back in a bit!

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>46955483

>>46955223

You’re good at two things: smashing and slashing. From your very first day of existence they’ve been your go-to when you’ve run out of ideas. So you imagine Skullgar as a blood dragon and get to work trying to rip it limb from limb.

Surprisingly, it’s harder than you would have thought. Skullgar’s able to parry each blow from Sheila’s claws. Just when you think you’ve got him clamped, he nimbly slips out and punches the claw aside. With each trading blow the both of you slowly wear the other down. For him to last this long solo against a daemon engine is fairly impressive, much as you hate to admit it. Only the best of the best, like Kharn and yourself, could pull off such a task. But that just makes you more eager to smash Skullgar to a pulp and collect his skull. It’s been quite awhile since you’ve had a worthy foe.

You drive Sheila’s claws down in an attempt to smash Skullgar into the ground. He dodges out of the way at the last second, hopping up onto the claws. He then leaps up in an attempt to get at your control hatch. It’s a foolish move on his part. You’re able to use Sheila’s tail to slap him aside into a neighboring high rise. Seconds later, a chunk of Plasteel comes flying out of the rubble at you. Again Sheila’s forcefield deflects the rock, but such is the force behind the throw that it’s sent flying up into the sky and out of sight.

“If you need a daemon engine to last this long, it’s a wonder you even survived meeting Kharn!” Skullgar taunts as he extracts himself from the collapsed building.

“At least I’m not working for a coward who hides behind minions and hostages after demanding a fight!” you retort.

> cont

>>46955842
“Cinder, I think I have something,” remarks Ignitrix. “His power unit is an old J type.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning if you can hit it with a pulse at this frequency, it’ll shut down.”

“And how can I do that?”

“I can modify the maw-mounted cannon to do so. It’ll just take a few minutes.”

A few minutes more of sparring you can do. Although this does kind of feel like cheating…

> [1] Buy Ignitrix the time she needs
> [2] Emerge from Sheila with Fatebreaker in hand
> [3] Write in

File: preview_makankosappo.jpg (6 KB, 145x109)

6 KB JPG

>>46955870
> [1] Buy Ignitrix the time she needs

>>46955870
>> [1] Buy Ignitrix the time she needs

>>46955870
> [1] Buy Ignitrix the time she needs

>>46955870
>> [1] Buy Ignitrix the time she needs

I knew we brought our waifu for a reason!

>>46956083
You think we'll tie the knot this session?

[1] it is. Back in a bit!

>>46956107
I fucking hope so, I only found KQ after it finished, so I couldn't push it in that direction. But that ends Today! By Khorne and the Dice Gods, this session will end in making out and headpats! This I swear!!

>>46955870
Skullgar and you return to your symmetrical violence. By now both of you have scored a good number of hits on one another. His armor is just as dented as Sheila’s is by the time Ignitrix speaks up once more.

“Annnd done. You’ve only got one shot before it’ll have to recharge so make it count!”

You roar with fury and vigor as you swipe Sheila’s claws inward in an attempt to pin Skullgar. He tries to resist but is momentarily immobilized. And a moment is all you need. The maw-mounted cannon spins to life with an ominous green glow, then vomits a stream of high-energy plasma over the CSM. He shrieks in alarm as the plasma both shorts out his power supply and fuses his joints together. Now nothing more than a glorified action figure, You easily clamp Skullgar down with a single claw.

> [1] Squeeze him to death
> [2] Get out and take his skull personally
> [3] Apply more dakka
> [4] Write in

>>46956343
You think a bloodbath could be bubbly and aromatic?

>>46956380
> [1] Squeeze him to death

>>46956380
>[1] Squeeze his skull off like in that one show Ignitrix showed you with the two gay guys

>>46956380
>[2] Get out and take his skull personally

He fought well enough to surprise us and make us work for it.

He's earned the personal touch.

>>46956380
>> [3] Apply more dakka

It hasn't failed us yet!

>>46956380
> [1] Squeeze him to death

>>46956380
> [1] Squeeze him to death
No need to be fancy about a sideshow

>>46956387
Either that, or rough sex between daemon gods will destroy it. And if we know Cinder, it'll be ROUGH. (Unless it's not, which would be adorable.)

File: Valentine Iggy by decu.png (1002 KB, 2000x1500)

1002 KB PNG

Good night ELH. Thanks for this. I missed Cinder and Iggy.

[1] it is, back in a bit!

>>46956380

“You fought well, School Girl,” you jeer. “But it’s time for your skull to join the Skull Throne.”

“It’s. SKULL. GAR.” roars Skullgar.

“Whatever. Buh Bye.”

With that you make Sheila’s massive claw clamp down with enormous force. At first the fused terminator armor stands stalwart against the ever increasing pressure, creaking all the while. But then the first crack appears along the chest piece. Almost instantly after that the entire armor collapses in on itself with a sickening crunch. When you open the claw back up again, a baseball-sized lump falls to the ground. It’s a small shame you weren’t able to personally take his skull, but you have bigger fish to fry.

Before you can even reach for Sheila’s speaker knob, Gorwrath’s Herald booms out, “There is but one final hurdle for you!”

“Hah. I knew he’d follow the rule of three,” comments Ignitrix.

You give her a dry look. When you turn back to look at the street, you see the silhouette of something massive in the distance. It’s easily the size of a titan, if not larger. It’s outline is jagged and rough, as if an amalgamation of various vehicles held together by duct tape.

> [1] Dakka it before it can get close
> [2] Stare really hard to see if it’s what you think it is
> [3] Look to Ignitrix
> [4] Write in

>>46956801
> [2] Stare really hard to see if it’s what you think it is
We're going to punch it

>>46956801
> [4] Be disappointed at physics for not allowing you to pop his skull off by squeezing his body
> Sigh, and not be motivated to give it your all in this next encounter

>>46956801
> [2] Stare really hard to see if it’s what you think it is
> [3] Look to Ignitrix

>>46956801
> [2] Stare really hard to see if it’s what you think it is

Lets see if your daemon eyes are as good as elf eyes. 1d100 please.

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>46956979

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>46956979

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>46956979

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>46956979
queen rockoff when

>>46956995
>>46957015
>>46957021

Cool. Back in a bit!

>>46957028
Possibly sooner than you think depending on your choices.

>>46956801

You squint and try to discern what exactly is heading towards you. After a few moments of staring, you realize it’s an Ork Gargant. Last you knew, the war engines are constructed by Warbosses as giant effigies to Mork and Gork. You’re not entirely sure whether or not Sheila will be able to take one down on her own. On one hand, you have the advantage of speed, size, and the fact you’re not an Ork. On the other, all of your cannons combined might not be enough to bore through the heavy plating. There’s only one way to find out.

“Say Ignitrix, did your upgrades include something that can take down a Gargant?” you ask over your shoulder.

She bites her lip as she stares at various readouts. “After Skullgar I’m not so sure. He was only wearing power armor, albeit heavily modified, and it took a specialized plasma blast to defeat him.”

“But isn’t a Gargany held together with little more than the Ork’s power of belief?”

“Yes, but at the same time it has wicked armor. A full on blast might only bore a single, small hole in it.”

“So what you’re saying is I should either convince the Orks their war engine is failing, or I should get out and suplex it myself.”

“Suplex it yourse- What?” Ignitrix stares at you quizzically.

You smile and flex a bicep. “Don’t you remember? I once punched an Imperial Crusier as it tried to orbital drop on top of me.”

“I’d almost forgotten. You’ve done crazier things since then, after all.”

Damn right you have. So how will you deal with these Orks and their Gargant?

> [1] Get in a shouting match with the Warboss
> [2] Attempt to suplex it yourself
> [3] Recall your fight against the leviathan at the Lake of Slaughter and use Fatebreaker
> [4] Write in

>>46957210
> [4] Climb the Gargant and place your Fatebreaker through the top of it

>>46957210
> [2] Attempt to suplex it yourself
As if any other option needed to exist

>>46957210
> [2] Attempt to suplex it yourself

>>46957210
> [2] Attempt to suplex it yourself

>>46957210
> [3] Recall your fight against the leviathan at the Lake of Slaughter and use Fatebreaker

>>46957210
> [2] Attempt to suplex it yourself

>>46957210
>> [2] Attempt to suplex it yourself

>>46957210

The more you think about it, the more you realize there was only ever one option.

“Here, take the wheel,” you say to Ignitrix as you pop the hatch. “I have a war engine to suplex.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

She sighs and shakes her head. “No. Just remember that if you fail there’s always Fatebreaker.”

“Of course. Try not to get squished while I’m gone.”

You hop out of Sheila and begin to stretch. Once you’ve limbered up, you crouch down in a runner’s stance and prepare to launch yourself towards the Gargant.

> Roll 1d100

>>46957210
>> [2] Attempt to suplex it yourself
>> [3] Recall your fight against the leviathan at the Lake of Slaughter and use Fatebreaker

Once we get inside, all the armor plating in the universe won't be able to save these Orkish shits

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>46957421

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>46957421
>Say mean stuff to Physics so it'll be sheepish towards you this time around

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>46957421

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>46957421

>>46957445
>>46957446
>>46957467

Cheers. Back in a bit!

File: Unicron.jpg (237 KB, 900x676)

237 KB JPG

>>46957421

Springing forward, you begin running flat out towards the gigantic Ork war engine. With each stride of your powerful legs you get faster and faster, to the point where you’re leaving a trail of debris in your wake. You run for perhaps two kilometers before the Gargant truly comes into view. Once it has, you bend down low, put all of the force you can muster into your thighs, then launch yourself up at it.

You impact the Gargant square in the chest. So great is your impact and momentum that the Gargant is sent staggering back. As it struggles to maintain balance, you continue to push forward and knock it down. Once it’s started to fall, you dig your claws into the armor and get a good handhold. Then, when the war engine hits the ground, you roar and use every ounce of strength you have to wrench it up and over your head.

For a moment you stand with the Gargant above you. Then you bring it down with a massive crash. Bits of metal and Orks go flying in every direction as the war engine literally ceases to be. The surrounding area is absolutely devastated. Not a single building or road within a kilometer radius survives the impact.

As you let out another roar, standing over your kill, Gorwrath’s Herald speaks once more:

“Gorwrath is pleased with your performance. You may now face his might!”

“So where is he then?!” you thunder back.

The Herald just laughs. Then you realize that the buildings in the distance are moving.

“Cinder, get your ass back here NOW,” says Ignitrix via a one-way telepathic link.

“Why? I was just starting to have fun.”

“Because Nuhjersy isn’t a planet. It’s a mech.”

It’s a wha- Oh. OH. Welp.

> [1] Remain where you are and produce Fatebreaker
> [2] Rush back to Sheila to where Iggy hopefully has a plan
> [3] Write in

>>46957704
> [2] Rush back to Sheila to where Iggy hopefully has a plan
Dramatic timing is wrong for fatebreaker

>>46957704
> [2] Rush back to Sheila to where Iggy hopefully has a plan

>>46957704
> [3] Can we throw Acerea's fat ass at him?

>>46957704
> [2] Rush back to Sheila to where Iggy hopefully has a plan

we probably don't need to, but it makes the bird happy to plan

[2] it is, back in a bit.

>>46957704

Gargants? Check. Leviathans? Check. Imperial Cruisers? Check. Planet-sized daemon engines? Nope. You’ve got no idea how to even start attacking something that big. So you rush back to Sheila to find Ignitrix hastily modifying the Brass Scorpion.

“Please tell me you have a plan,” you say.

“I wouldn’t call it a plan per say,” replies Ignitrix. “But it’s something at least.”

“Well don’t keep it to yourself. Let’s hear it!”

“Something this large has to have a massive power plant at its core. All we have to do is find it and either damage it or destroy it outright.”

“And how do you propose we even get inside it to begin with?”

Ignitrix points at Sheila, which now looks more like a Necron Tomb Stalker than a Brass Scorpion. “We’ll burrow using a combination of sorcery and plasma. It’ll take some time to reach the core, but it’s the best I’ve got at the moment.”

You look up, only to see a massive head emerge as the planet-sized mech bends over to look at you. It lets out a laugh that causes a tremendous earthquake. As you struggle to maintain your balance, a thought occurs to you. You could try and find Gorwrath himself. If you slay him this massive engine will cease to function (hopefully). Alternatively, you could find Sytili and live to fight another day, but that would mean running away. And that’s something you haven’t done to date.

> [1] Journey to the Center of the Mech
> [2] See if Iggy can locate Gorwrath
> [3] See if Iggy can locate Sytili
> [4] Write in

>>46958024
> [2] See if Iggy can locate Gorwrath

>>46958024
> [2] See if Iggy can locate Gorwrath
Lets see how he does mano mano

>>46958024
> [2] See if Iggy can locate Gorwrath

[2] it is. Another 1d100 if you would.

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>46958232
who the hell is gorwrath

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>46958232

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>46958232

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>46958232

>>46958266
>>46958268
>>46958269

That'll work. Back in a tic.

>>46958024

“Crazy idea here, Ignitrix, but could you find Gorwrath? I feel like ripping his head off will be a much more effective way to stop this giant engine.”

Ignitrix considers your request. “Now that I know the misma is due to interference from the engine’s power core, it should be easier to pin down his location. One moment…”

She stops her work on Sheila to concentrate. As she does, she reaches out her hands as if brushing away something. This continues for five minutes, by which point you’re starting to grow anxious.

“Got him, I think. He’s in the forehead.”

“Great,” you reply. “Then open a portal so I can tear him apart.”

She shakes her head. “Not that simple, unfortunately. He has all sorts of jammers around him. Best I can do is teleport us in Sheila to a spot right above his control room. Then we can burrow into the ‘skull’ to get to him.”

“It’s better than my plan, let’s do it.”

“You had a plan?”

“Yeah. It involved Fatebreaker and a death by a thousand cuts.”

“Right… Well let’s get going.”

Both of you pile into Sheila’s new form. There’s a brief moment where you’re weightless, then you’re back on solid ground. A quick look outside confirms you’ve moved to the head of the planet-sized engine. So you tilt the controls forward and have Sheila begin digging her way towards Gorwrath.

As you burrow, Gorwrath’s Herald taunts you.

“HAHA! AS IF THAT WOULD WORK!”

“FOOLS! YOU’LL NEVER REACH US HERE!”

“YOU’VE MERELY SCRATCHED THE SURFACE!”

The closer you get, the more desperate and nervous he begins to sound.

“A-AS IF WE’D BE SO EASILY BREACHED! YOU’LL NEVER BREAK THROUGH OUR DEFENSES!”

> cont

>>46958564

Not five minutes later you feel yourself falling. There’s a loud clang as Sheila hits the ground. Looking outside, it seems you’ve reached the control room. There’s hundreds of cords and conduits streaming in from every wall towards a central dias. On the dias is a coffin-like instrument. You pop out of Sheila and begin advancing, only for Gorwrath’s Herald to pop up in your path. He shakily holds out a sword as if to stop you. You try not to laugh (and fail) as you use your claws to turn him into chunky salsa.

With nothing left barring your path, you approach the dias. You step up and look inside, only to curse when you see who’s inside.

It’s No-Horn.

> [1] Brutally disembowel him, then turn him into a fillet
> [2] Have Ignitrix join you and have her banish the bastard
> [3] Point and laugh at No-Horn’s overcompensation
> [4] Write in

>>46958575
>[3] Point and laugh at No-Horn’s overcompensation
followed by
> [1] Brutally disembowel him, then turn him into a fillet

>>46958575
> [1] Brutally disembowel him, then turn him into a fillet

>>46958611
Seconded

>>46958575
>[3] Point and laugh at No-Horn’s overcompensation
> [1] Brutally disembowel him, then turn him into a fillet

>>46958575
> [3] Point and laugh at No-Horn’s overcompensation
> [4] Still kinda impressive that he went to all this trouble

>>46958575
> [4] Vore him so he'll never come back

>>46958575

After you’ve composed yourself, you realize just how absurd this all is. You find yourself laughing hysterically at No-Horn as he scowls at you from inside the coffin.

“I knew you were a coward and a pathetic excuse of a Khornate daemon, but this is a whole new level of pathetic,” you say. “You had to make a PLANET SIZED engine to feel brave enough to challenge me to a duel. Not to mention resorting to hostage taking. I didn’t think you could sink any lower, but here we are.”

He snarls back at you with a string of daemonic curses. All of which you shrug off. You turn back and shout to Ignitrix, “Hey Iggy, go find Sytili and bust her out of here. I have some very delicate work to perform here.”

“As you wish.”

She bows and steers Sheila off towards wherever Sytili is being held. Meanwhile, you produce Fatebreaker and brandish it in front of No-Horn’s face.

“I’m going to make your death this time around permanent. Maybe if you’re lucky that pink and purple bitch will take pity on what will be left of your soul and reincarnate you in your true colors. Or maybe you’ll just stay dead. I care not which, because either way I won’t be seeing *you* again.”

Needless to say the next few hours are rather gruesome. All said and done you’ve turned No-Horn into a stack of marbled meat. You saved his skull for last. But rather than offer it to the skull throne, you take it in one hand and crush it into dust. By this point, Ignitrix has returned with Sytili.

“Ccccccinder,” hisses the Tyranid. “It’ssss nice to sssee you again.”

“Good to see you as well. Let’s get the hell out of here. Ignitrix, if you would…?”


“Where to?” she asks.

“My personal bloodbath, if you’d be so kind.”

> Fin

File: ELH's face when.jpg (96 KB, 694x530)

96 KB JPG

That's all I have for tonight. Hopefully you had fun and enjoyed it.

I'll be watching to see how this whole /qst/ thing pans out. Maybe I'll try running SitS there and see if it works. Nav Quest I'm not sure about just yet.

>>46958817
>“Where to?” she asks.
>“My personal bloodbath, if you’d be so kind.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ

>>46958833
Thanks for running, I missed this, good to see Cinder and Iggi back.

>>46958833
Fuck those quests, more Khornette.

>>46958833
Any chance you'll run another Omake at some point?

>>46958861
Maybe. I just have to come up with a good idea or find something classic to steal from.

Is it odd that when the challenger demanded a Daemon Engine I kinda expected a race?

>>46959101
Taking off the trip since it's not quest related per say. I've never really found a happy medium to run race stuff in. I tried it a couple times in Rogue Trader with the All Dark Eldar party, but it pretty much ended with whoever had the biggest guns or the fastest flier won.

File: Grimdark Racing - Core Ru(...).pdf (850 KB, PDF)

850 KB PDF

>>46959266