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>>46867617
"Oh! Right! I can totally prove I'm not a clone! Ta-daaa! Video games!"

"Wait, what even-"

"C'mon, Iffy, I'll beat you in that one racing game! That'll prove it beyond a doubt! Beyond the beyond, even!"

"What does that have to-"

"Oh? Oooh? Is that hesitation? Are you deflecting? Worried I'll Nep all over you? C'mon! Tag team rumble! Me an' Nepgear'll take you and Compa on!"

"But-"

"C'moooon, Iffy!"

"... oh, god, fine."

Looking at the world-weary expression on IF's face, you suddenly, and very deeply, feel so damn sorry for the poor girl and her entire existence, if all this Neppy shit is the sort of thing she has to deal with on a daily basis.

So that's what's happened. Neptune, Nepgear, IF, and Compa are sitting at the foot of the bed, playing video games and actually getting pretty into... whatever their little racing game is all about, you don't even know.

You scratch your cheek, kicking your legs in blessed, blessed boredom- you can't even REMEMBER the last time you had No Job. Seems like there's a little time left before they wrap up this round- or, y'know, before IF recovers her Nepped-up wits and remembers that there are much, much more important things to worry about than gaming.

(Cont.)

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>>46867642

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [IF & COMPA] Try and catch a chance to apologize to them directly. Or at least try to pin everything on Gamindustri being Gamindustri. They really should understand.
[ ] [NEPGEAR] See how your surrogate little sister is doing. What's it like, coming "home" to Planeptune and the church-like palace she was literally born to inhabit?
[ ] [NEPTUNE] Mentally steel yourself and talk up Neptune, because you're honestly curious: what's her plan now? Is she coming back to Hyperdimension when you leave Planeptune?
[ ] [EXAMINE KEY FRAGMENT] Okay, you keep thinking these damned plot-important rocks are just.... rocks, rather than the things keeping Histoire imprisoned. Look it over and see if there's anything important that you're missing.
[ ] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.
[ ] [SNEAK OUT] Explore the Planeptune Basilicom on your own. Why not? You'll probably never get a chance to come back to this place, so you might as well get some pictures for Mojang when you get back.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46867672
>[ ] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.
>[ ] [BOOZE] Offer booze to IF and Compa desu

>>46867672
>[ ] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.
>[ ] [BOOZE] Offer booze to IF and Compadesu
Maybe call up Big Sis and Rokko

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>>46867672
>[ ] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.
Don't want to interrupt in the middle of game. Plus it's been so long for our friends. I'm sure Rokko, Estelle, and Vert want updates.

Also, good evening Bloorp

>>46867672
[ ] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.

>>46867672
>[ ] [NEPGEAR] See how your surrogate little sister is doing. What's it like, coming "home" to Planeptune and the church-like palace she was literally born to inhabit?
>[ ] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.

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ABOUT TIME

>>46867672

>[ ] [EXAMINE KEY FRAGMENT] Okay, you keep thinking these damned plot-important rocks are just.... rocks, rather than the things keeping Histoire imprisoned. Look it over and see if there's anything important that you're missing.

For the main part we should look at them. I think nobody wants to accidentally have the same happen as when we unknowingl lugged around a piece of Keeper Tile so she could bombard us with creatures.
Also, while we do that, multi tasking:

>[ ] [NEPGEAR] See how your surrogate little sister is doing. What's it like, coming "home" to Planeptune and the church-like palace she was literally born to inhabit?

Because that could bring some interesting ideas.

Also: Yeah Blorp. Yeah Hyperdimension Dwarf Quest. Doesn't matter that it is ~3:40 am or that I have to be at a birthday at 9:00 am.

>>46867672
>[ ] [EXAMINE KEY FRAGMENT] Okay, you keep thinking these damned plot-important rocks are just.... rocks, rather than the things keeping Histoire imprisoned. Look it over and see if there's anything important that you're missing.
>[ ] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.
Replace/connect phone antenna with key fragment , WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!?

>>46867672
[ ] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific
nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.
[ ] [Booze]
[ ] [Make pillow fort]

>>46867672
[x] [NEPGEAR] See how your surrogate little sister is doing. What's it like, coming "home" to Planeptune and the church-like palace she was literally born to inhabit?

Don't let Neptune take her away from us.

>>46867672
>[ ] [CHECK PHONE]
[ ] [WRITE-IN] GET OUT.

>[X] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.

>[X] [BOOZE] Offer booze to IF and Compa.

>>46867852
>Replace/connect phone antenna with key fragment , WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!?

We could accidental summon Plutia or 5pb. And I don't think we could dispose of either of them, them former because of Iris hearth, the latter because gruesome death are only inflicted upon monsters.

>>46867672
>[ ] [NEPGEAR] See how your surrogate little sister is doing. What's it like, coming "home" to Planeptune and the church-like palace she was literally born to inhabit?

>>46867960
>We could accidental summon Plutia
And that's bad because?

>>46867672
>[ ] [EXAMINE KEY FRAGMENT] Okay, you keep thinking these damned plot-important rocks are just.... rocks, rather than the things keeping Histoire imprisoned. Look it over and see if there's anything important that you're missing.
>[ ] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.
>[ ] [BOOZE] Offer booze to IF and Compa.
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
Connect Booze to Key Fragment connected to Phone

>>46867890
Raising Nepgear with Rokko and aunt Estelle when?

Right, looks like [CHECK PHONE] ekes out a win! Writing! And belatedly, evening, folks.

>>46867672
>[ ] [EXAMINE KEY FRAGMENT] Okay, you keep thinking these damned plot-important rocks are just.... rocks, rather than the things keeping Histoire imprisoned. Look it over and see if there's anything important that you're missing.
Who knows, we might accidentally get to talk to Histoire again.
>[ ] [BOOZE]

>>46867852
>Replace/connect phone antenna with key fragment.
This seems like a fun idea.

>[X] [CHECK PHONE]
>[X][BOOZE ] We can get drunk now, yes? Now seems like as good a time as any to find out how much booze it takes for us to start forgetting stuff.

>>46868028
>And that's bad because?

I have a sense of Deja Vu.

SM without safewords or consent is a bad idea. Iris Hearth's whole shtick is in essentia combat SM, which is without both of the aforementioned.

>>46867672
>[X] [CHECK PHONE] Come to think of it, you actually have service on this damn thing again, now that you're not floating in the horrific nullspace between universes. Check your messages, look at the news, maybe make sure your friends don't think you're. Y'know. Dead.

>>46868135
You're getting me turned on.
Continue...

>>46868132
Oh and, >>46867890 and >>46868030 are good ideas too.

>>46868052
What about [BOOZE] did that win?

>>46868254

When does [BOOZE] not win?

>>46868135
Urist does sound like the kind of person that would call Iris Heart out on her bullshit and stand her ground.

>>46868286
And then die horribly.

>>46868254
>>46868272
Think booze is automatically applied now

>>46868286
>Urist does sound like the kind of person that would call Iris Heart out on her bullshit and stand her ground.

...... interestingly I have never thought in that way. Could be interesting, but I think we still shoudn't tr to summon her until we are either stronger, have all our big hitter teammates near us or need a distraction for our enemies while we make our escape.

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>>46868397
At least we'll be able to trust her to shake informations out of people without breaking their teeth.

>>46868533
Yes, but she does something way, way worse to them. I would rather have my teeth, bones and/or nose broken then my free will. Or my personality.
It is way easier to replace the physical damage than psychological one.

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>>46868694
You're exaggerating, Plutia doesn't do that much damage.
Even Noire managed to recover after Plutia molested her. Even Nepgear (who said that her entire body hurt) managed to recover very quickly.

At any rate, it's 4:16AM here so I'm off. Sorry Blorp.

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>>46868533
We could probabl trust her to do that without psychological damage if we break Iris Hearth's free will first. So, who wants to break an unresponsible dom in?

>>46868780
She does. See IF in Neptunia 3.

>>46868827
Let's fuckin' do it! Champions are rewarded by fortune!

>>46868892
Or the whole
>LOWEE
>I MUST GO TO LOWEE
Part

>>46867672
>[X] [CHECK PHONE]

A stray thought occurs to you, and you start digging through your inventory.

... correction: first, you chug down half your tertiary flask of booze. THEN you dig through your inventory. Y'see, you've forgotten all about your phone.

You've never gotten into the habit of using, abusing, and endlessly checking your phone. It's /convenient/, sure, but only as far as checking the weather and news to make sure your immediate surroundings aren't consumed by some dumb adventurer-vs-adventurer grudge match.

Thing is, up 'til recently, you've only had one number in your phone, and Mojang rang you up much more often than you'd bothered calling her. Since then, though, you've been steadily adding contacts- not that you've had much need to use them, because you'd probably spent more time with them than without.

Still, old habits die hard. You don't think you even looked at your phone when you got warped to the hyperdimensional void- although maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it would've had no signal, or maybe you would've connected to some nightmarish version of Planeptune where alternate dimension Neptune is some terrifying evil overlord.

Anyway, you pull out your phone, that little ancient model that today's newfangled smartphones could run circles around, and start scrolling through the shit you've missed over the past few days.

For better or worse, the news isn't very helpful: no big honking exposé about how Leanbox crippled itself by fucking up the Red Ring of Death and sucking half its adventurers into the void, zero news about CPU White Heart's tragic glitching, and there's nothing definitive about Arfoire's reappearance. Even the controversy around that national television beatdown between Blanc and Vert has fizzled; both of their Basilicoms are treading on eggshells, spewing all sorts of noncommittal garbage that doesn't deposit the blame at either party's feet.

(Cont.)

>>46868926
Sure, people are antsy, and there're a lot of strange rumors flying around, but there's nothing that'll make adventurers sit up, start panicking, and bust everyone's fucking heads. NO one seems to want another goddamned console war.

... guess that's the upside to how Gamindustri's compartmentalized into its separate rival nations: every news companies is based in one of the four nations, so no single one of them bother looking at the whole Gamindustri-wide picture to connect the dots.

Well, whatever, that's none of your concern. You breeze through the rest of the news- Planeptune's is filled with funny pictures of dogoos accidentally slipping down peoples' shirts, while Lastation's is mostly human interest stories- before figuring that you can't put it off any longer.

Time to call one of your friends.

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [CALL ESTELLE] Tell your surrogate big sister that you're alive, and check that SHE'S okay; Ein seemed to be gunning for her the last time you saw them. Let her know where Blanc is.
[ ] [CALL ROKKO] Tell the super fighting robot that everything's okay, and check what's been going on in Gamindustri since you were out. She's a robot, she's got her finger on the nation's heartbeat.
[ ] [CALL VERT] The goddess probably isn't /dead/, but it's probably a good idea to check up on her anyway. Also, let her know that Mojang's doing a-okay up in the hyperdimensional void.
[ ] [CALL EIN] You still have her number. Honestly, you're curious what Ms. Final Fantasy has been up to, and you DO need to ask her why she, say, was trying to fucking murder Estelle right before you'd gotten warped to the hyperdimensional void.
[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.
[ ] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46868950
[ ] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.

>>46868950
>[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.
>[ ] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.

>>46868950
>[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.
>[ ] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.
HI GUYS, I'M ALIVE. ALSO, I'M ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING SUICIDALLY DANGEROUS AGAIN, BEEN NICE SPEAKING WITH YOU.

>>46868950
>[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.
>[ ] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.

DO THEM IN THIS ORDER

>>46868950
[ ] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.

>>46868950
>[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.

But instead of going down the (probably) Alphabetical list, a more need orientend one:

>1.: Estelle
>2.: Rokko
>3.: Vert

....... we only have the number of 4 persons who are not currently residing in "The dimension between dimension aka Limbo aka boring hellhole aka new jersey on a tuesday."?

>>46868950
>[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.
>[ ] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.

>>46868950
>[ ] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
More [BOOZE]

>>46868780
GO SLEEP, BECAUSE IT IS A WONDROUS ACTIVITY THAT'S NOT JUST FOR THE DEAD

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>>46868989
>>46868992
>>46868994
>>46868999
>>46869006
>>46869066

Please do not take the shmuck bait.... again.

>>46868950
>[ ] [BOOZE] Offer booze to IF and Compa
>[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.

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>>46868950
>[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.
Conference call?

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>>46869137
Why not?

>>46868950
[ ] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.

>>46868950
>[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.

>>46869137
It's bait yes, but we don't care.

>>46869137
You do realize that a large majority of people here are from EVO and Ogre Quests right, which was constantly taking those kinds of choices and then riding the wave.
This is par the course, just sit back and enjoy.

>>46869085
>GO SLEEP, BECAUSE IT IS A WONDROUS ACTIVITY THAT'S NOT JUST FOR THE DEAD

Blorp, here it is 4:32 am. Don't be too concerned I sleept yesterday until ~6 pm. That should hold me awake, unlike my y-ke.

>>46869137
But I suggested it, anon, I must take responsibility for my actions.

>>46868950
>[X] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.

Remember to yell. Those are pretty long distance calls.

>>46869155
how the fuck did the witcher get on that list?

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>>46869137
Unfortunately, there are those here who always pick those options for nothing more than the hell of it. Even if it's extremely obvious that it's a trap option.

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>>46869246
I think it is a character popularity poll.

>>46869190
I know, I have read the entire Ogre batch while Blorp had one longer stretch of time between Quest sessions. I still maintain that we shouldn't take bait because we are no blue creature made out of luck and imagination anymore.

>>46869265
I picked it assuming we'd be able to call Histoire whenever we wanted, not summon someone from the Ultradimension.

>>46869246
Because the japanese could find something good which wasn't made in japan? That it wasn't made in the US surely helped though.

>[X] [CALL ROKKO] Tell the super fighting robot that everything's okay, and check what's been going on in Gamindustri since you were out. She's a robot, she's got her finger on the nation's heartbeat.
We need to make sure the wife knows we're okay.

>[X] [COMBINE PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT] Because this is an excellent idea that can, in no way whatsoever, go horrifically wrong.
Creating great works out of random crap after being hit with a bout of inspiration is the dwarven way.

Man, catching a live thread is surreal.
>[ ] [CALL EVERYONE] Just go down the damned list, because you're sure as hell getting to them all in one sitting.
Seconding >>46869151 Conference call

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>>46869328
Let us just hope that we summon something like this instead of worse options.

>>46869246
More like how the fuck is SAO above the witcher

>>46869194
YOU ARE CRAZY AND I SALUTE YOU

>>46869398
nah, that's not surprising. People eat that shit up, and despite Witcher being great, it's also a bit harder to get into the flow of the games.

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>>46869408
Eh, Blorp quest is worth it, even though I have to be somewhere at 9 am today.

Right, looks like [CRUNCHING PHONE AND KEY FRAGMENT TOGETHER] and [CALL EVERYONE] wins, so- writing!

>>46869246
The question I have is, how did the Sword Art Online guys get on that- or, okay, what >>46869398 said.

>>46869398
That's a character popularity poll. Which Kirito is near the top of. Japan confirmed for shit taste.

>>46869155
Big Boss for the win

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>>46869450
Japan has always been confirmed for shit taste. That's why Best Girl never gets a route

>>46869450
It could be worse. He could be at the first place... which is occupied by one of the characters I like less but still.
(Also Log Horizont is better than SAO everyday.)

>>46869450
Japan has always had shit taste. Kira and Lacus topped the popularity polls for a long ass time.

>>46869542
Well, I have probably just to add that in a poll which character out of Majoras Mask to include ijn Hyrule Warriors Tingle was number 1 in Japan.

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>>46869519
>Also Log Horizon is better than SAO everyday

the only good thing to come out of SAO was the abridged series.

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>>46869519

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>>46869647

FOCUS PEOPLE, we're supposed to be doing DWARFY THINGS here!

>>46869674
..... ou really did choose the Nuclear Godwin Option? Also, those words do not work in german, except in angering or alienation other people.

>>46869722
BITCHING ABOUT EVERYTHING THE ELVES PRODUCE IS DWARFY!

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>>46869722
>DWARFY THINGS

Oh, right. back to behaving like [Image]

>>46869763
anime people are always perfect
they are like elves
*sudden horrifying realizations*

Hey Blorp. Yandere Simulator-chan when? Because another psychopath is what this quest needs.

>>46868950
>[ ] [CALL ESTELLE] Tell your surrogate big sister that you're alive, and check that SHE'S okay; Ein seemed to be gunning for her the last time you saw them. Let her know where Blanc is.

>>46869790
Oh how I long for the days where it just were Ljolsalfar and Svartalfar and both were neither perfect nor benelovent. But alas, they got Vampired before the vampires.

>>46869743
Chill senpai, it's just a reaction image.

>>46869819
presumably when she gets out of pre-pre-alpha

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>>46869819
Picture related

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>>46868950
>[X] [COMBINE THE KEY FRAGMENT AND THE PHONE]
>[X] [CALL EVERYONE] (Next Post)

Now, see, you're a dwarf. You get terrible ideas. It's just what you do.

So when you're fiddling with your phone, and that damned key fragment's sitting in your lap, you can't help but get to thinking.

The Key Fragments are apparently what're being used to jail Histoire. However, they're also what you use to contact Histoire, through some strange technomagical means that are completely beyond your comprehension.

The phone is used to contact other people, also through some strange technomagical means that are completely beyond your comprehension.

You weigh them in each hand as you consider your chosen course of action.

Just before you slam them together, IF looks up and has just enough time to scream "WAIT-"

>Urist Twelfthbay commits an act of !!SCIENCE!!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: The higher the better!

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Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>46869885

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>46869885

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>46869885

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>46869885
Based Gods guide my dice

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>46869885

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>46869885
Send help.

>>46869914
>>46869923
>>46869925

THE RIDE BEGINS

>>46869925
Did we pass?

>>46869958
I think you mean

>>46869934
THE RIDE WAS AVOIDED

>>46869934
>Rolled 1 (1d100)

Oh holy Gelarta god of dice that was to close for comfort.

>>46869963
Higher the better, not pass/fail.

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>>46869914
>>46869923
>>46869925
Yep. Saw this coming.

>>46869934
Thank Armok you were late.

>>46869963
What do you think?

>>46869934
>DC: The higher the better!

Ah this would have been !FUN!

>>46869934
You have no power here

>>46869934
I think I should close the tab to Khornette Quest and open one to Ogre quest again. The last time I did this I rolle 80+ every time.

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>>46869934
Your lateness may have saved Urist's life, anon.

Writing!

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>>46869934
Thank fucking god

>>46869885
Why didn't we call everyone BEFORE doing the thing that could potentially fuck up our phone and/or self?

>>46870114
I gave a gasp of restrained laughter at that pic

>>46870117
Because that would have been a good idea

>>46870117
plot

>>46870146
sounds about right

>>46870100
We got above 50. Does that mean it's sort of mildly good?

>>46870207
Well, so long as it's not fuckin' terribly bad like what this cunt >>46869934 would have had it been, I'm satisfied.

>>46870207
Depends which standards he uses.
Review standards: 50 doesn't mean neither good nor bad. It means "Bad, but we don't want to piss off the publishers".
Sane standards: 50 means nothing too bad nor too good may happen.

>>46870269
I assume he's using Dorf Standards.

>>46870276
Oh god

>>46870276
.... so its time for everything to go to hell?
dorf standards are demanding as hell and will punish your ass if you miss it by even a single point.

>>46870207
Nothing happened, except IF tackle us and put us in a submission hold.

>>46870269
>Review standards: 50 doesn't mean neither good nor bad. It means "Bad, but we don't want to piss off the publishers".
wrong, that's 9/10

>>46870304
IF tackles us and we end up in a slightly lewd position
b̶l̶e̶s̶s̶ damn you gamindustri

>>46870318
That would be that 1 we avoided

>>46870330
nah, that'd be clowns

>>46870330
No, 1 would be
>IF tackles Urist
>keystone still combines anyway
>IF and Urist accidentally kiss
>Somehow, someway, Mojang realizes

>>46870366
>>Somehow, someway, Mojang realizes

Even better, we rip a temporary hole in the fabric of room and time and Mojang sees that in slow motion, even if she closes her eyelids.

>>46870366
after kissing, they switch minds

>>46870437
That wouldn't be too bad, IF's pretty cool.

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>>46870437
Nah

A kid pops into existence

>>46870507
Our internal rule set should render that impossible

>>46870507
That would actually be awesome.... and terrify.... mostly terrifying.

>>46870507
>>46870540
Well, Urist IS on a bed.

>>46870540
>but we aren't even married!

>>46870567
BABBIES CONFIRMED!

>>46870567
Perfect now Nepgear gets an Imouto

>>46870568
>>46870567
I'm several patches behind with my knowledge of dwarven mating procedures. Aren't there marriages and/or spores involved? Pretty sure homosexual relationships can't produce children though

>>46870683
Technically, yeah! Although with that 1, I wouldn't have put it past Gamindustri to fuck with Urist even more and proclaim Urist and IF married on the spot. Honestly, I'm just messing around.

>>46870767
>implying
also that child would be monsterously bullshit OP on par with probably god damn neptune.

>>46870767
Your waiting for a 1 at the right moment

>>46870767
SORRY, CAN YOU SPEAK UP? I CAN'T QUITE HEAR YOU OVER THE STATIC IN THIS CALL. SOMEONE'S FUCKING URIST? OH, YOU SAID URIST AND IF ARE MESSING AROUND? WOW, I GOTTA TELL EVERYONE! THIS IS BIG NEWS!

>>46870897
EEEEEEEEwait this isn't /k/

Huzzah in time for Dorfs!

Query: Do I need to ready my Laptop because Blorp is going into overtime? (~9am (Currently ~ 6 am))

>>46871069
Yes.

RIP Blorp

>>46871069
Despairing reply: It doesn't matter what you do. Nothing can save us now.

>>46870888
He does. After luck bullshit in Ogres (seriously, the Goddess of Luck sure LOVED Ogres), I think Blorp is overjoyed to see Urist's shittiest luck so he can fuck with us and her.

>>46871321
Well, it means that I have now an excuse to bring the gift of Blorp, OGREs and Urist to my extended family....... could work, for the part that speaks english.

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>>46869885
>>46869925
>53........
>OVERWHELMINGLY AVERAGE COMPETENCE!

Frozen halfway to standing up, IF stares at you and your creation with the air of someone waiting for the sky to fall around her head and knock over grandmama's prized vase on the way down.

You look down at the thing you've created. It's... just your flip-lid phone, next to the Planeptune Key Fragment. You look back up, channeling Estelle and tilting your head at IF, giving her your best "didn't do nothing" look.

"Iffy? What's wrong?" Compa asks, blinking wide innocent eyes up at her friend.

Neptune jerks her controller to the right, gaze pinned on the screen. "Hah! She's throwing the race! C'mon, Nep Jr.!"

"R-Right, oneechan!" Nepgear shoots you a quick, timid smile before turning back to her game.

"It's... nothing." Iffy narrows her eyes and scowls suspiciously at you- oh, are you ever familiar with THAT expression- before sitting back down to try and regain her lead.

You wait until she's completely sitting back down before lifting your phone, its antenna now jammed up the Key Fragment's ass and making the whole damn thing ridiculously unwieldy. Doesn't look like there's damage to the Key Fragment, but... you're honestly not sure you CAN separate them without royally fucking everything up.

Given that you've just irrevocably damaged a plot-important artifact linked to Histoire's well-being, you make a mental note to hide your phone from IF for the foreseeable future.

>Urist Twelfthbay has decorated a «plastic phone» with Planeptune Key Fragment!
>The signal has been boosted. x256

You're not sure what you accomplished with this horrible thing, other than possibly risking IF's eternal wrath. You hide the whole kit-and-caboodle in your inventory before quickly excusing yourself to stand in the hallway; once you're out of Iffy's sight, you pull your phone out and start dialing.

There's no question who's first on your list.

(Cont.)

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>>46871549
Estelle picks up before the first ring even goes through, sounding like she's not sure whether to be relieved or panicky. "Urist!? This is Urist, right? Please tell me you're okay!" she squawks.

... Armok help you, you've missed her big dumb peppy voice.

"Urist?? Are you there!?"

You clear your throat. Sorry, oneechan. Didn't mean to make her worry.

A laugh bubbles out from the Dragon Warrior's throat. "Oh my god, I thought we'd lost you forever," she gushes. "I mean, we saw you get sucked into the void, and it's... it's just..."

Estelle's voice hitches, and she's silent for a moment. Shifting your feet, you wait awkwardly for her to compose herself, but not before wiping a sleeve across your eyes as well. You're fine, you growl curtly. You're... y'know. You're all just fine. You and Shovel. And Mojang's-

"DID SOMEONE SAY MOJANG!?" Vert cuts in, the sheer desperate volume of her voice making you jerk back from the phone.

"A-Ah, Lady Vert!" Estelle stammers, sounding... mildly terrified.

Huh. Okay, she's with Vert?

"Ahahah... well, it's a legendarily long story," the Dragon Warrior chuckles nervously. "Between this and that-"

"IS MOJANG ALRIGHT??"

You wince again. Yeah, she's fine! She's just fine. Vert heaves a deep sigh of relief as you keep going: you found Mojang in the hyperdimensional void, gave her those meds, and she's made a full recovery. Hell, you're all gathered in the fortress you have there.

"Hello," a THIRD voice cuts in, sounding surprised. This one you don't recog- wait, no. It's familiar, it's painstakingly familiar, but you can't quite figure out- "Query: you built a fortress there?"

And then between the phrasing and the sound of her voice, it clicks. Holy shit, it's Rokko, except her voice is- for one thing, it's clear as a fucking bell: melodious, cute yet brooking no nonsense, and there's no static or anything. For another, it's not a constant flat deadpan: Rokko sounds /alive/.

(Cont.)

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>>46871574
... Armok help you, SHE'S still not over with Vert too, is she?

As if she can sense your shock, the Blue Bomber smoothly continues. "I'm in Lowee. As to your unspoken question, I'm directly patched into the communications network."

Huh?

"You're speaking directly into my mind," she explains curtly, sounding amused.

Oh. Okay, so this is what Rokko sounds like to herself- probably even what she used to sound like. You shake it off and get to answering her freaking question- yeah, you built a fortress in the void. Or rather, your fortress came with you, and it's pretty damn good at keeping you and everyone else alive.

Rokko digests this for a moment. "Your chances of survival are looking much better. Also..." You thought you couldn't be taken aback anymore, but then there's that /warmth/ infusing her voice. "Welcome back, Urist."

You clear your throat. Y-Yeah, same to her. Er, no, wait-

"Be as it may, I agree with Rokko," Vert cuts in, sounding businesslike and all goddess-y again, as if her falling-to-pieces panic never existed in the first place. "It's good to hear that you're unharmed, and that you've found your way back to Gamindustri. However, if you have time, perhaps you can explain just what is going on up in the void...?"

Well... yeah, you suppose they deserve that much. You gather your thoughts and start going over everything that's happened to you since going into the void, beginning with finding Mojang, continuing with how you got your fortress, and so on and so forth.

As you talk, a part of you notes that, unsurprisingly, Ein isn't patched into this call. Now that Estelle's in on it, it's probably a terrible idea to have both of them patched in at the same time. Especially given how little you know about Ein's motivations at this point.

Anyway, how're you gonna end this call?

(Cont.)

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>>46871598
>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [MEET IN PLANEPTUNE] Tell the three of them to come meet you in Planeptune. That'll give you enough time to finish up your shit here, and see who wants to help you against Arfoire in the void.
[ ] [MEET IN LEANBOX] With your interdimensional portal, it'll be faster for you to travel to /them/. Tell them to stay put; you'll go meet them, along with whoever wants to come with you.
[ ] [STAY PUT, WE'LL KEEP IN TOUCH] As much as it pains you to admit it, Estelle, Rokko, and Vert are better off staying in Gamindustri; these veterans (and goddess!) are probably needed more here.
[ ] [JUST ESTELLE] Have the Dragon Warrior come meet you. You can use her sword and her healing skills- and she's got an axe to grind against Arfoire, regardless.
[ ] [JUST ROKKO] Have the Blue Bomber come meet you. Even despite her mounting damage, she's flexible enough to deal with anything- and Arfoire seems to have something of hers, anyway.
[ ] [ESTELLE & ROKKO] Two veterans will make all the difference in the world. Besides, it'll be just like old times, just... hopefully without the groping.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46871617
>[ ] [MEET IN PLANEPTUNE] Tell the three of them to come meet you in Planeptune. That'll give you enough time to finish up your shit here, and see who wants to help you against Arfoire in the void.

>>46871617
>[ ] [MEET IN PLANEPTUNE] Tell the three of them to come meet you in Planeptune. That'll give you enough time to finish up your shit here, and see who wants to help you against Arfoire in the void.
This isn't even a choice. Plus they need to meet Nep Jr.

>>46871617
>[ ] [MEET IN HYPERDIMENSION]
Just have them all hop in Temptblanches and call it good.

I wonder what would happen if we combine the Keyphone with the Magic Door?

>>46871617
>[ ] [MEET IN PLANEPTUNE] Tell the three of them to come meet you in Planeptune. That'll give you enough time to finish up your shit here, and see who wants to help you against Arfoire in the void.

Nepgear STILL needs to get synced.

...We didn't tell them about Nepgear over the phone, did we?

>>46871617

[X] [JUST ROKKO] Have the Blue Bomber come meet you. Even despite her mounting damage, she's flexible enough to deal with anything- and Arfoire seems to have something of hers, anyway.

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>>46871657
OH RIGHT

No, she did not!

>>46871617
>[ ] [STAY PUT, WE'LL KEEP IN TOUCH] As much as it pains you to admit it, Estelle, Rokko, and Vert are better off staying in Gamindustri; these veterans (and goddess!) are probably needed more here.

We are good on companions for now and are likely to get more in the future. We need a strong defense force back in gameindustri. Or rather we need a bunch of people who we know who will probably lead the rest in emergency defense if Arefoire pulls a fast one.

>>46871650
And let everybody see the engravings?

Good idea, but they'd have to get to planeptune first.

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>>46871669
OH BOY

>>46871669
We'll do this while we wait for Vert, Estelle and Rocko. and then we can see their reaction to Nep Jr.

>>46871617
[ ] [MEET IN PLANEPTUNE] Tell the three of them to come meet you in Planeptune. That'll give you enough time to finish up your shit here, and see who wants to help you against Arfoire in the void.

[ ] [STAY PUT, WE'LL KEEP IN TOUCH] As much as it pains you to admit it, Estelle, Rokko, and Vert are better off staying in Gamindustri; these veterans (and goddess!) are probably needed more here.

>>46871617
>[ ] [MEET IN PLANEPTUNE] Tell the three of them to come meet you in Planeptune. That'll give you enough time to finish up your shit here, and see who wants to help you against Arfoire in the void.

Lil Nep needs to get synced.

Tell Estelle that we have acquired a new little sister. Our sibling shall outnumber hers in no time.

>>46871779
Why are people voting for this option? They will still be in Gamindustri. Just in Planeptune instead of Leanbox/Lowee.

>>46871801
One sister? Okay, I would never describe Tiff or Dommy as Lil sis material, but...... oh, we didn't spend enough time with Thraviell I think.

>>46871865
Because we do not want to test ´Gamindustri fate` more than we have.

>>46871617
>[ ] [MEET IN PLANEPTUNE] Tell the three of them to come meet you in Planeptune. That'll give you enough time to finish up your shit here, and see who wants to help you against Arfoire in the void.
And then everything will be okay.

>>46871877
They are staying at our place, safe and cozy while eating our food.

Little sister statuses: Confirmed.

>>46871617
>[X] [MEET IN PLANEPTUNE] Tell the three of them to come meet you in Planeptune. That'll give you enough time to finish up your shit here, and see who wants to help you against Arfoire in the void.
Urist Twelfthbay cancels travel plans: attending to Nepgear BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL DAMMIT

>Two veterans will make all the difference in the world. Besides, it'll be just like old times, just... hopefully without the groping.
Silly Urist, of course there won't be any groping! You've already graduated from groping to spanking!

>>46871617
>[ ] [JUST ROKKO] Have the Blue Bomber come meet you. Even despite her mounting damage, she's flexible enough to deal with anything- and Arfoire seems to have something of hers, anyway.
Estelle's not allowed to go until she makes up with Ein

>>46871617
>[ ] [MEET IN PLANEPTUNE] Tell the three of them to come meet you in Planeptune. That'll give you enough time to finish up your shit here, and see who wants to help you against Arfoire in the void.

>>46871669
Well someone here needs to be the responsible sister and that sure as shit isn't Urist, but the only alternative is Neptune so too bad.

>>46871549
>The signal has been boosted. x256
...Can we call home from the hyperdimension?

>>46872026
We'll certainly try.

>>46871918
Other people would just say that that is the description of pets like... pigs or guinea pigs or turtles.
Then again for some people little sisters and pets are synonymous. Those are sick minds, even though the ones who se pets as little sisters are worse than those who see little sisters as pets.

>>46872026
Let's try calling Mojang or Histoire from here

Assemble the squad in nepland, then we can all pile into the void and beat the shit out of arfoire with 3.5 goddessess and a buttload of experienced adventurers. It'll be a great time.

>>46872072
Honestly while I was typing that I thought it sounded more like a 'older sisters who are broke and crashing at our place' kind of thing.

Threadly reminder that Blorp!DeadEyedKimonoGirl is a cute. She needs a cameo.

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>>46872083
>3.5 goddessess

Nepgear does not count as half a goddess. She is a goddess.
Why do people do that always, even in touhou.

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>>46872162
Comply

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>>46872162
As much as I like her, I can't think of a good place for her to appear in.

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>>46872170
BECAUSE SHE A SLOOT

>>46872230
>>46872384

I was really disappointing when all she got was spanking fodder

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Oof. Sorry guys, I should have called this earlier, but- rapidly running out of steam, so I'm going to have to end the thread here tonight!

Next thread will be... time undetermined, but let's say April 29th for now; I'll post a schedule update the day before, at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest as always! Questions can go to ask.fm/BlorpQuest, although there's a bit of a backlog right now!

Thanks for participating, guys, and catch you next time! It'll be a rocky few weeks, but I'll do what I can to keep the threads going. Night!

>>46872568
Good night! You sweet writer you!

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>>46872416
MAH

FUCKING

NIGGAH

>>46872568
Bye bye boss.

>>46872568
Great thread Blorp, one step closer to the Beer Shield!

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>>46872589
I understand you Blorp I really do.

Fuck I wished we coulda just taken her butler offer up but nooooo, that gets to go to the loli with Mommy issues

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.>>46872568
Blorp, how big is your backlog btw?

>>46872598
Ah, the beer shield. proving once again that not every of my snap decisions will inevitably haunt me eternally.

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>>46872568
Thanks for the four story posts Blorp.

>>46872617
God, I know. That entire storyline was just them going the path of least resistance, LET'S MAKE KOKORO'S ENTIRE LIFE SHITTY SUFFERING BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY POSSIBLE WAY SHE WON'T BE A TERRIBLE PERSON. OH, AND SPANKING.

It was kind of a letdown.

>>46872689
Between eight to ten questions, but at least twice that much before I worked them over today!

>>46873011
I'm a slow writer, anon, BUT BY GOD I'M TRYING

G'night, guys, and thanks for sticking around! It warms the cockles of my heart, even though I'm still not exactly sure what a cockle is and whether or not it can actually be warmed!

>>46873394
Good night and good sleep Blorp.

I have to catch a Birthaday at 09:00am. (aka in 1 hour.)

>>46873478
It's a-me, Mario!
It's my birth-a-day!

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>>46872416
You're saying that like it's a bad thing.

>>46875787
It was shit

>>46876462
Spanking is never shit.

>>46876474
I like spanking but the route was shit, and the spanking was cartoony and annoying goddamnit.

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>>46876498
>it has spanking
>but is shit, cartoony and boring
Error.
Does not compute.

>>46876532
Ver ts Xbox ya moron not a computer

>>46876985
>xbox can't crash
hahahaha are you sirius?

AH AM PAHRTICIPATIMG

>>46867617
>You're sitting on the bed, legs swinging back and forth
CUTE