>>46597939
You remember the first time you visited the River Kuri. It had been a mostly peaceful interlude between your adventures. You’d met Bunyip there. You hope he’s still doing alright. It is a wide and sluggish river that divided nearly all the arable land before the dry Teln Interior and in your memories, had been peaceful save for the occasional crocodile swimming up from the coast.
Not so anymore.

When you and Hiss ascend to the top of the hill overlooking it your first notion is that it all looks as if an ant’s nest has been overturned. An Ishmin nest may be an even more accurate descriptor. Your side of the river is crawling with soldiers, breathing corpses and still-bloodied snakes. You watch the lines and columns form beneath you and the once placid water boils with several dozen large boats that have been appropriated from nearby river-towns. Most of them are nothing but simple ferries with hasty wooden arrow-walls bolted onto some of their sides. Indeed, the boat that you and Hiss first took down the Kuri may be among their number.
And to the sides, hidden among the lagoons around the mangrove trees, you can see some of Hiss’ living dead start to wade into the Kuri and quickly submerge themselves. Looks like this is going to be a multi-pronged attack.

And by the looks of things, you’re going to need it. The Kuri River is broad but you can still see the other side and it is bristling with armoured troops and fortifications. The docks and bridges have been cut down and burned and High King Edwin’s men are waiting for you on the other side. Great wooden walls have been erected and you can see wheeled devices pushing and pulling them about to better hold the shore. Archers are stationed atop every hill and hasty archer-towers have been constructed.
The army waiting at the shore must number in the thousands and they outnumber what you see of Hiss’ force.
1/2

>>46597953
The High King must have sent almost everything he had to stop your advance here. This is the greatest natural barrier remaining between Hiss and Taldenral, nowhere would they have a bigger advantage.

Hiss smirks.
“This should be easy.”
Apparently she has made a rather different appraisal of the situation than you have.

“Hiss, are you sure we can’t find another way around?”

“Don’t wuss out on me now of all times, Cennen. They’re trying to set a trap for us...well, the best way to defeat a trap is to dive right down into its jaws! Let their teeth blunt themselves upon our scales.”

“That doesn’t seem like particularly sound tactical advice.”

“Well we can’t let this drag out or turn into a war of attrition now can we? The quick strike is best. And lest you forget, we are holding at least a dozen trump cards that they have no way to knowing about. Once we reach the shore the battle is won.”
She waves to the first boats at the shore and you can’t help but note that several snakes are already piling onto them.
“I’ll be leading the first wave of course. Shall you be by my side?”


>”Of course.”

>”I’ll hang back just a little.”

>”I don’t need to be part of the actual battle do I? Can’t I just stay back?”

>”Someone as valuable as you can’t be part of the first wave Hiss!”

>Give her a potion (Specify)

>”I have a different strategy in mind…” (Specify)

>Other

>>46597976
>”Of course.”
Drink potence, regen, and champion brews. Not from our bandoleer.

>>46597976
>Give her a potion (Specify)
heal all

Remind her that they miiiiiight have alchemy that can get through scales, such things were doable BEFORE Taldendral was attacked by a creature with snake scales, and would only be easier after.

>>46597976
>”Of course.”
So the first wave will be snakes followed by our human forces right?

>>46597976
>”Of course.”
This is it
Today we betray humanity, were fucking Seth the Scaleless now boys.

>>46598045
Also could we use a soulsight to scope out any wizards or spirits in their forces before this starts?

>>46598087
Correct.

>>46597976
>”Someone as valuable as you can’t be part of the first wave Hiss!”
The first wave always dies, so you shouldn't send so much snakes in it either. Now the second wave! That sounds nice doesn't it?

>>46598148
Lol I just killed him like 10 minutes ago. Trying to finish dark souls again before ds3 comes out.

Don't forget there was also a second Teln force in this side of the river meant to flank us wfter the battle starts. Even though Hiss replaced their general we should make sure they wont be an issue

>>46598149
Might be a good call

>”Of course.”

You guess this is the day. You've always supported Hiss and placed her goals above that of your own kind but this is the first time it's ever been illustrated quite so clearly. To fight and kill humans for the cause of an inhuman ruler. You've never quite thought of it in that way before.
"Of course."

Hiss squeezes your hand.
"Don't tarry then! We'll be leaving with or without you."

She slides down the hill to join her assembled forces, shouting orders left and right. It looks like she's assembling a force of snakes to spearhead the assault. The majority of human mercenaries will be following in the second wave of ships or directly wading the river itself.
This is the Kuri's shallowest point.

You go to follow her, slowing down to unlatch your new pack and downing a Potence, a Regen and a Champion's Elixir. You shut your eyes and let the power flood through you for a moment. When combined with the permanent brews you've been using to enhance your plant nature you should be quite the force now. More than enough to fight by Hiss' side.

You go to follow her but you're stopped by someone calling your name. You turn around and find a motley crew awaiting you. It's your two homunculi, Eva and Hom and with them are Blue and Elle. The two traitors, one of them more reformed than the other.

Hom grunts something incomprehensible, leaving Eva to do all the talking.
"I don't understand all of this. Do you need our help?"

Blue almost talks over the top of her, nudging Elle and Eva to the side as she advances on you.
"Don't you dare go into combat with these bonds around our throats! If you must, release us first!"

Looks like she's worried about the bond forcing her to come to your aid. But do you really care about that?

>Make some wishes (Specify)
>Use Serpentbane to free them from their bonds.
>Release Blue but not Elle.
>Release Elle but not Blue.
>"Yeah, I don't trust you nearly enough. You're coming with me."

In addition:

1/2

>>46598416
>Ask Eva and Hom to accompany you.
>Ask one of them to accompany you (Specify)
>Tell them to stay behind and brew for the soldiers.
>Tell them to stay behind and take no part.
>Other (Specify)

>>46598416
>Use Serpentbane to free them from their bonds.
Bring Hom, get Eva to brew for the soldiers. Give her our lab set.

>>46598416
>Ask one of them to accompany you (HOM)
I would just take both but Eva doesn't seem like she would be good in a fight

>>46598515
This. Also quickly inspect the opposing forces with a soulsight before joining hiss and tell both of the homunculi to use all the brews they can to keep themselves safe in the fight.

What were Elle's arts?

>>46598416
>>46598515
this

>>46598603
Advanced Skin-shedding, Hypnotic Gaze, Serpent's Temptation, Devour Soul, Life's Blood, Consummate Predator, Scales, Artskin, Hunt Sense, Camouflage, Shallow Bite.

>>46598515
I think we should just take them.
They are too dangerous on there own and we can always use the extra protection.

>>46598619
If we wished for her to protect Eva for the duration of the fight would our own dangerous situation still compel her to save us?

>>46598694
Yes.

>>46598729
I say we break the wishbond and ask her to protect eva after

>>46598416
>Tell eva to stay behind and brew
>Wish for elle to protect her
>Ask hom to come with us
>Wish Blue to do everything in her power to make sure we survive the battle.
Also, what time of the day is it?

>>46598657
Blue would just die and I don't want to leave Eva unguarded. And now that the snakes support Hiss a fucking lot Blue doesn't have much chance as a traitor and she likely realizes this.

>Ask Hom to accompany you.
>Tell Eva to stay behind and brew for the soldiers.
>Use Serpentbane to free Elle and Blue from their bonds.

You try to stare Blue down but she's not budging. She's remarkably resolute considering just how much of a vulnerable situation she's in.
"Fine. Eva, do you have any Serpentbanes on hand? Give them to these two. But don't you go causing any trouble right now, you hear?"

"I'll be fine," Blue mutters as Eva hands out the potions. "Just because I don't approve of your harlot Queen means I want to support humans over her."

"Uhuh. You're lucky Hiss isn't around to hear you say that. Hey Eva, can you and Elle stay behind to keep an eye on this one?"

Elle nods happily and grabs Blue around the shoulders. Eva looks a little less confident.
"What else do you want me to do then?"

"You need to supply the soldiers here. I doubt the living corpses will need it but even just Restoration brews should have a huge effect if you can get them distributed. I'm counting on you."

She nods and with that you turn to Hom.
"You know what you were made for. You're coming with me. Goodbye Eva, I'll see you after all this is over."

You walk down the hill with Hom by your side, pushing your way through the various men to reach the ferries by the shore. Hiss is sitting on the railing of one of them and she waves to you.
"Right on time. Get on board!"

You join her and shortly after you feel the boat begin to move. Setting sail across the river to where an uncounted number of men wish nothing more than to kill you all.
"So what's the plan your Majesty?"

"Simple! We rely on exploiting our foe's largest weakness!"

"And that is?"
As far as you can see their defences are superb. Not to mention the huge advantage they have from the river.

Hiss laughs.
"Their army is entirely made out of humans. And most of humanity's role in war is about to be rendered obsolete."

1/2

>>46599029
>"That's nice. Could you actually tell me the plan though?"

>"What about their alchemists? Or wizards?"

>Get up near the front and start using Soulsight.

>"You have humans in your army right now, Hiss."

>Do some extremely quick brewing (Specify)

>Get Hom to retake his true shape now.

>Other

>>46599073
>"You have humans in your army right now, Hiss."
>"That's nice. Could you actually tell me the plan though?"
>Do some extremely quick brewing (Specify)
Snakebreaker

>>46599073
>"What about their alchemists? Or wizards?"

>>46599073
>"That's nice. Could you actually tell me the plan though?"
>"What about their alchemists? Or wizards?"
>Get up near the front and start using Soulsight
Make sure Hom drinks a champion brew and a potence. Drink an antimagic too

>>46599073
>>"What about their alchemists? Or wizards?"
>>Get up near the front and start using Soulsight.

>>46599073
>Get up near the front and start using Soulsight.
Knowledge is half the battle. Knowing the position of any supernatural threats is really important.

>"What about their alchemists? Or wizards?"
>Get up near the front and start using Soulsight.

"What about their alchemists? Or their wizards?"

"Alchemists are a little bit of a problem," Hiss admits. "Less so in what they can do directly and more that they are probably supplying these forces with restoration and morale brews. The latter in particular is a huge problem. Which is why I embedded a few solitary members of the vanguard in there ages ago. They should be assassinating or devouring what alchemists they can even now."

"And the wizards?"

"It's a little hard to plan for wizards. But we have a sizeable number of snakes who are immune to magic including yours truly. I'll make killing the wizards a first priority. And lest you forget Cennen, there's no way they can have that many of them! They're very intractable."

"We'll see. I'll do my best on that front too of course."
Speaking of which...

As the boat continues to cross the river, you find yourself approaching the prow while doing your best to remain behind the bolted-on arrow-walls.
As the other side of the river comes further and further into view you drink your Soulsight and peek past the walls.

The river and the banks fall away and ahead of you you see a fantastical array of light. Such a huge amount of souls! Every single one of them is a life and a person all to their own. But for the most part they blur together as one.
But two souls stand out. There are two strange souls scattered among the host, wispy humanoid things with long tendrils. Behind them, you know to be windows to a realm of pure power.

"Wizards!," you call back to Hiss and the others. "There's at least two wizards!"

"Where?"
You look down at the sudden question. Zigzag is standing right in front of you. When did she get there?

"Ziggy? What are you doing here?"

"Fighting...I think. The Queen said I'm qualified to be on the front line!"
She sounds remarkably happy about this.
1/2

>>46599508
It's not that strange of a choice you suppose. Zigzag is more or less invulnerable.
"Planning on eating all you want? Must be a damn buffet."
Alright, you're a little bitter about recent events surrounding Zigzag. But for once they're not her fault.

"Maybe..."
Zigzag sounds remarkably unsure about eating.
"I'm not sure what I'll be killing. The Queen says if I'm just there it should help make a difference?"

>"I don't think you should be here."

>"Those guys? You can eat those guys."

>Inspect the other snakes on board.

>Give Zigzag a potion (Specify)

>Other

>>46599563
>Inspect the other snakes on board.

>>46599563
Well you can always just kill them. It's a bit nicer than eating them really.
>Inspect the other snakes on board.

>>46599563
>"Just try to stay alive"
>Inspect the other snakes on board.
I hope Hiss had the good judgment of leaving Orange behind, he's kind of a wimp

>>46599563
>Inspect the other snakes on board.
>Give Zigzag a potion
Regen should be fine.

>>46599563
I'm glad you're here.
Let's talk to Hom a bit

Yo Ouro the primer brews and ignition brews listed in the inventory are the same thing right? So we have six in total?

>>46599701
Whoops. Yes. And certain ammunition brews like the Snakebreaker don't need ignition brews or explosive concoctions to be launched anyway.

Calling for inspection.

>Inspect the other snakes on board.

"You know what, Zig? I'm actually glad you're here. Just do your best to stay out of harm's way, okay?"

"What harm?"

You leave Zigzag and do your best to inspect the other snakes on board before you get too close, doing your best to remember them from the census.
Many of them possess the scale Art and are scaled up already while the ones who don't have been outfitted in partial plate armour. Many of them still wear the forms you selected for them from the catalogue so this invasion force is comprised of a lot more beautiful women then you suspect most are.

Out of all the ones you can remember from the census, there's but one common strand linking them all together. And you'd wager the other boats are the same.
Every snake here possesses the Death Rattle. Hiss' plan begins to grow clearer in your mind.

That would explain why there are no other humans accompanying you, only snakes and living corpses with guarded souls.

"Watch out!"
A snake points to the skies and Hiss looks up in surprise.

"What?" she barks. "We shouldn't be in arrow-range yet!"

You stare at the dots in the sky above you as best you can and it doesn't take long to reveal what they are as they descend.
Long fluttering sheets of paper and bark, twisting in the air like living things.

And standing atop the one heading straight for you, a tall hooded figure with a staff clutched high in both hands.

"All of you! Get to cover!"
Hiss stands as the others scramble into the ship's interior. She remains alone on the deck, staring up at the descending flock of paper creatures as if they were a challenge.

>Find your own cover first.

>Prepare the Caster.

>Pull Hiss away.

>Maybe you can throw a potion if he gets close enough? (Specify)

>Other

>>46599927
> Shout out to him that his soul is full of spiders

>>46599927
>Find your own cover first.

I mean, she did just say she was immune to magic.

>>46599927
>Find your own cover first.
>Prepare the Caster.
Load a snakebreaker
Drink an antimagic. We're kind of a tree so we're at risk here.

>>46599972
Dude. He is a spider.

>>46599927
>Find your own cover first.
>Prepare the Caster.
>Offer hiss an explosive potion

>>46599927
>>Find your own cover first.

Figure this is appropriate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hb9e60gqKns

>>46599927
>Prepare the Caster.
Wasn't this already loaded? Just shoot the fucker

Calling it for
>Find your own cover first
>Caster

>Find your own cover first
>Caster

You throw open the door leading into the captain's tower and shelter yourself within it while still giving you plenty of room to lean out of the doorway and take a shot.

Hiss shouts something at the incoming wizard and if you had to wager anything, you'd guess that she's trying to make herself a target. If they focus on this boat and not the others well, that'd be the ideal scenario.
There's also the fact that Hiss, despite how much raw magical power she might have, does not operate well at long range. She needs him to descend.

You snap the Caster closed and start to spin the lever.
What have you loaded it with?

>Snakebreaker

>Ignition and Acid

>Ignition and Glass.

>Ignition and Rumpleskin

>Other (Specify)

>>46600225
>>Ignition and Acid

This sounds like a good opener for someone using bark.

>>46600225
>Ignition and Acid

>>46600225
WTF does rumpleskin do again? Not in the pastebins.

>>46600286
>Rumpleskin: Crafted from acid and shed snake-skin, this potion works on skin contact. Anyone touched by it has their skin bubbled and crinkled into harsh pebbly lumps which can quickly spread over the rest of the body. This causes immobilization and lasts for several hours unless it is cured.
it's in the party pastebin

>>46600225
>Ignition and Acid
Should eat trough both bark and paper

>>46600225
>Ignition and Rumpleskin

>>46600316
Ah, I was looking in "Inventory" and "Alchemy" silly me.

>>46600225
Could we do ignition and some of our lethal venom?

>Ignition and Acid

The long bark streamers drift down close enough that you can hear the wizard's cackling but no further. Hiss looks like she's seriously considering just trying to jump.

As for you, you're doing your best to remain hidden while you line up your best shot. It's been a while since you had to use this thing but you reckon acid is your best bet. Should eat away through all that bark and paper easily.

The hooded figure wavers to and fro as you lift the wide barrel and do your best to sight down it. You let go of the lever and it continues to spin from pure momentum as the chambers collide and the alchemical reaction begins.

You heft the Caster through the doorway and fire.

>Roll a 1d100. Will be accepting the best of the first 3.

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>46600490
BOOM

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>46600490

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>46600490
please let us roll well, it's been a while

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>46600490

>>46600531
>>46600558
>mfw we hit Hiss instead

>>46600592
65 isn't great but it's not bad enough for that to happen.

I see the days of us one-shotting spirits out of the blue with a d100 are behind us. 65 isn't awful though. Writan'

>>46600660
We need a tie to make a sacrifice to the dice goods

>>46600660
We'll get'em next boss.

>65

Your shot goes wide, the bulk of it missing the wizard entirely! But fortunately your Caster has quite the spread to it. Little glass pellets still find their way and burn little holes through the hide of the paper fliers. You even see the wizard dance about a little as if he'd been stung.

And glass wasn't all that you shot. The tiny holes you've poked through start to smoulder and widen as the acid coating each projectile begins to burn away at the bark. You can hear the wizard yelp!
Still, you have to wonder why he hasn't done anything yet. Surely there must be something offensive you can do with bark...

A bottle clocks Hiss on the head and sets her aflame! She's barely inconvenienced by this as she looks around for her attacker.
And that's when you see them.

The real danger isn't the wizard or his strange bark steed. It's in the flock of giant flying streamers behind him. They twist and turn in the breeze but they remain relatively stable, stable enough to hold passengers. There's a man on each one with a pack full of potions. Alchemists!

More bottles start to fall, bursting into liquid flame as they hit the deck. Some of them miss entirely but the water they strike burns just as easily as wood.
To either side you can see the other boats are under the same attack!

"Stay down!"
Hiss roars at various crewmembers as she advances towards you. She's still on fire but she doesn't care, her entire body cloaked in black and red scales.
"Buy me some time."

And with that, she throws herself overboard.

>Load the Caster with a Snakebreaker.
>Load it with a Rumpleskin.
>Load it with something else (Specify)
>Brew up some more acid!
>Use something else besides the Caster.

>>46600836
>>Load it with a Rumpleskin.

>>46600836
>Load the Caster with a Snakebreaker.
No holding back. We gotta pop the wizard.

>>46600836
How fast can we grow our branches?

>>46600836
>Load it with a Rumpleskin.

>>46600914
This dude can use his magic on our branches. Using them would be a huge mistake. He's a wood wizard or something.

>>46600836
>Load the Caster with a Snakebreaker.

>>46600836
>Load the Caster with a Snakebreaker.
If we manage to kill this guy the alchemists are dead on the water

>>46600836
>Load the Caster with a Snakebreaker.

I am afraid he will try and use the bark fliers to shield the alchemists from potion droplets. Scale shrapnel don't give a fuck.

>Load the Caster with a Snakebreaker.

You duck back inside as alchemical fire continues to bombard the deck. That's going to be a pain to deal with. You think for a moment about trying to shoot the alchemists but the wizard is the more pertinent target by far. Take him out and nothing else should matter.

As you load up a Snakebreaker you watch Zigzag wander back onto the deck.
"I think there's something I can do with this."

She walks over to the largest fire and starts scooping up the burning liquid with her hands and throwing it overboard. Unfortunately it's also quite sticky and so she quickly ends up aflame.
"Oh."
She continues scooping out the flame-brews as best she can, blithely unconcerned about the bombing run above her. On the other ships you can see other scaled-up snakes attempting the same.

"WHO DARES TEMPT THE MIGHT OF THEODORE THE PALE?"

The wizard is gaining height again and he's pointing his staff down at Zigzag. Now would be an excellent time to fire.

>I'll need another d100 roll, best of the first three.

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>46601199

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>46601199
Gotta save the zigzag!

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>46601199
please

>>46601218
>>46601263
>>46601272
War was a mistake.

this is fucking bullshit

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>46601199
When this fails, use our super strength to throw zigzag at him

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>>46601218
>>46601263
>>46601272

Then of course
>>46601303

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>>46601218
>>46601263
>>46601272

do we really need to roll for every shot? it should be stupidly easy with this amount of spread

>>46601218
>>46601263
>>46601272
>tfw cool war scene is ruined by unreasonably awful rolls

At the last moment the wizard's streamer twists and double-backs in the breeze and your shot goes way off. You don't even hit anything with your shrapnel!
Your Snakebreaker spray arcs into the air, heroically managing to completely avoid touching either the wizard or the alchemists. It'll probably spray down on the soldiers and cause some havoc at least.

Theodore the Pale finishes his spell and thrusts his staff at Zigzag...and nothing happens. Her scales raise themselves reflexively and whatever magic was targeting her dissipates against her before it can take effect. She barely even seems to notice.

One of the boats to the far right has started sinking, an alchemical explosion blowing a hole straight through the deck. You can see snakes piling off of it and seeking the safety of the water.

There's still no sign of Hiss anywhere!

You crack the Caster open again and curse as you start to feel a familiar heat. The outside of the captain's tower, in which you are currently sheltering within, is now on fire. You're running out of time before you'll have to brave the deck.

And then you all enter arrow range.

The archers atop the hills and the arrow-towers loose their bows all at once in a multi-layered volley that mostly does nothing because everyone's already below deck. The arrows strike the boats but do little damage.

Or so it seemed at first. But every arrow quickly starts to smoulder and every spot they hit starts to smoke. These have all been alchemically treated! A hundred small blue fires start licking up the sides of every ship and those snakes who'd abandoned their ship but were not lucky enough to possess scale Art start to bob back up to the surface with burning arrows in their backs.

>Make another shot at the wizard with your Caster.

>Throw Zigzag.

>Abandon the ship before it all goes up in flames!

>Pray for help.

>Start growing branches out to catch the arrows.

>Use Potion (Specify)

>Other

>>46601584
>Make another shot at the wizard with your Caster.
i guess

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>46601584
>Throw Zigzag.
warmin up muh dice

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>>46601584
>Throw Zigzag.
This is it. Hammer throw the murder midget

>>46601584
>Make another shot at the wizard with your Caster.
Just use the rumpleskin this time. It's not like it matters since it'll miss anyway. Maybe we're starting to get better at aiming though? We've hardly used the caster before this.

>>46601584
>Make another shot at the wizard with your Caster.

>>46601584
>>Make another shot at the wizard with your Caster.
SO HELP ME GOD WE ARE KILLING THIS WIZARD

Perhaps dice were a mistake.

>>46601710
She'll be roight m8 surely we won't fail miserably a third time in a row. Dice are usually fun. Modifiers help though.

>>46601644
She's on fire and we still burn


>>46601584
Wouldn't Art based fire fuck up anyone without Artscale and Dragonscales?

>>46601584
>Throw Zigzag
We believe in Zigzag.

>>46601710
Honestly I think I kind of prefer the diceless thing going on in Valen. There aren't any out of the blue successes, but at least we seem to perform a bit more consistently.

Then again, the dice have let us succeed where we should have failed before, so there's always that.

>>46601785
diceless is gay as fuck.
>>46601710
just let us grow some branches to make our aim extra steady or something so the dc is lower or we get a bonus to aiming

>>46601710
Don't worry boss third times the charm.
the Dice Gods will bless us for or faithfulness.

>>46601710
Keep the dice going mane

>Make another shot at the wizard with your Caster.

You are getting real sick of this wizard and his gang of alchemical buttbuddies right now. The shot might be a tricky one to line up but nobody should be able to dodge like that!
Come to think of it, you've spent enough time shooting at him that you might be able to get a better read on his movements now. The way the paper shifts in the wind is hard to follow but you think you can draw a bead on it. You'll just need time.

Another explosion up on the deck and the growing heat of the captain's tower burning around you reminds you that you may not HAVE that time.

Fuck.

You load up a Rumpleskin.

>Just take the shot now! (Will require a roll as usual, don't roll when you're making this vote though)

>Take your time and steady yourself with some branches. (Guarantees a hut now that you've watched his patterns but requires time and staying still)

>Find a better spot to fire first, this is just unreasonably dangerous.

>Other

Rolled 83 (1d100)

gettin my bad rolls out of the way early

>>46601865
>>Just take the shot now! (Will require a roll as usual, don't roll when you're making this vote though)
Then run Plenty of snake scales and water around to coldbrew up a snakebreaker if we miss.

>>46601865
>Just take the shot now! (Will require a roll as usual, don't roll when you're making this vote though)
it has to be this way, fuck you dice gods. i will take my victory from your cold dead hands

>>46601865
>Just take the shot now! (Will require a roll as usual, don't roll when you're making this vote though)

>>46601865
>Just take the shot now! (Will require a roll as usual, don't roll when you're making this vote though)
Then jump ship

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>>46601710
We have had some stupid good luck in the past with dice. so eh. Though modifiers for doing shit we are good at might be nice instead of just, presumably, lowering the DC. Personal preference really.

>>46601865
>Just take the shot now! (Will require a roll as usual, don't roll when you're making this vote though)

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>>46601865
>>Just take the shot now!
Come now men let us prey.

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>>46601866

>Just take the shot now!

There's no time! And hell, if you were the kind of person to display basic pattern recognition you wouldn't be Hiss' consort in the first place!

You take the shot.

>Alright lads, you know the drill by now. Let's see those rolls.

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>46602023
DICE GODSSSSSSS REEEEEEEEE

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>46602023

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>46602023
ave maría dame puntería

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>46602023

>>46602048
well... i guess that might be good enough?
>>46602058
those fuckers upstairs are just taunting us now

>>46602023
>And hell, if you were the kind of person to display basic pattern recognition you wouldn't be Hiss' consort in the first place!
kek

>>46602048
decent

>>46602058
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!

>>46602058
inb4 some shithead deletes their earlier roll

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>>46602058
...i was blessed
i just wasn't fast enough

we just needed to clip him for rumpleskin to work. maybe now we can brutally finish him off to vent our frustration

>>46602149
Nah, he'll land behind enemy lines safely.

>73

You breathe a sigh of relief as you see the cloud of glass shrapnel fly. You're not going to plug him directly but your shot is wide enough that it still perforates his flying ribbon and stings him a dozen times.

You can hear him scream shrilly before his voice returns to its previous level of magical amplification.
"WHAT? YOU PRESUME TO DEFEAT ME WITH SUCH MERE MAGICS? YOU- uh wait hold on a minute."

The wizard starts hopping and skipping, slapping at bumps and creases forming all over his body. And he's not alone either. His ribbon begins to crinkle and fold into itself, becoming stiff and heavy.
Huh. You guess that makes sense. His bark constructs are living things too!

Just clipping the wizard might not have been enough to take him down, he probably would have time to glide back to land. But with his own steed betraying him he drops like a stone towards the river.
Behind him the alchemists hold on for dear life as their own ribbons start to buckle now that wizard's concentration has been sorely broken.

You slam the Caster shut back again. You can take the shot.

>Shoot the wizard while he's falling.

>Shoot at the alchemists while they're floundering.

>Actually maybe you should get out of this burning deathtrap first.

>Raise a screen of branches to catch further arrows.

>Use Potion (Specify)

>Other

>>46602239
>Shoot at the alchemists while they're floundering.
eugene potion to shrink their platforms. then finish off the wizard.

>>46602287
by finish off the wizard i mean dive into the relative safety of the water and fuck him up

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>>46602287
We are out.

>>46602239
>Actually maybe you should get out of this burning deathtrap first.

>>46602239
>Actually maybe you should get out of this burning deathtrap first.
>Tell everyone to abandon ship
>Tell Zigzag to finish off the wizard

>>46602328
No we're not. We restocked last time we saw him. Am I the only one who uses the inventory pastebin?

>>46602239
>Actually maybe you should get out of this burning deathtrap first.

>>46602328
>snake with human teeth
that is surprisingly unnerving

>>46602239
>>Shoot the wizard while he's falling.

>Actually maybe you should get out of this burning deathtrap first.

There is now little doubt in your mind that the Caster is going to revolutionize war. Maybe once you get some of the aiming problems ironed out though...
You've created something immense here and like it or not, it'll probably be your greatest legacy.

Any further attempts at introspection (or shooting) are rudely interrupted by part of the captain's tower collapsing! You dodge out of the way of the burning plank and shake your head to clear it. You can shoot later. You have to get out of here.

You stumble blindly through the smoke and run back onto the deck, Zigzag is still there and she's still aflame. A few arrows bounce off of her while you duck for cover.
The second volley is just as bad as the first, alchemical blue flame sparking up with every shot!

You look around and you see every other boat in the first wave floundering, their decks and hulls ablaze. And behind them, the boats of the second wave are starting to stall as the mercenaries see the fates of those ahead of them.
The bombers might have been stopped but your crossing attempt is surely dead in the water. Hiss hadn't been ready. None of you had been. This is a costly failure.

And then something shakes beneath the water.

A tremendous plume of water bursts up behind you and for a moment you think the army ahead of you has switched to heavier projectiles. Surely they don't have trebuchets!
But it isn't something striking the water but rather something emerging. Something huge.

SomeONE huge.

Hiss' torso bursts through the surface of the river as she uses her Royal Blood to borrow both Growth and Worldbreaker Coils. Countless souls within her are consumed and sent to oblivion in an instant for this single instant of transcendental power.
She towers above the river, large enough to hold the doomed boat you're standing on in one hand. But only for a moment, a blink of the eye. That's all she can hold it for.
1/2

>>46602370
After seeing this it kinda became part of my head canon for one of the ways the snake catcher was an abomination. Not really accurate I know but the more I looked at it the more I thought it worked on some level.

>>46602647
That's more than enough.

She dashes both hands into the river and slams, disrupting the sluggish current and driving all boats forward! You grab onto what's left of the railing and cling for dear life as you and all the boats in the first wave are virtually flung directly into the waiting army ahead of you.
They were not prepared for this.

A small black snake with a crimson streak down its belly plops down on the burning deck beside you as the boat rockets forward. The other snakes are already climbing up, grabbing on and coiling themselves in preparation.
You can spot the arrows in the next volley overshooting by a huge amount, bows aimed at where the boats were just moments before.

And ahead of you you can see a line of earthworks and palisades, a hasty wall to make crossing through the river hell. The soldiers manning it are gaping and the quicker are already running away.
You spot the falling wizard landing in the heaving river behind you out of the corner of your eye.

Zigzag hurtles past you, the burning snake unable to hold on.

>Grab onto her and secure her for the impact.

>Leave her, she'll be fine.

>Grab onto her but only long enough to throw her ahead of you like a projectile.

>Abandon the railing and take hold of Hiss instead.

>Let go and follow Zigzag into the water. Someone has to deal with the wizard.

>Scream.

>Other

>>46602760
Is there any part of her we can grab without being set on fire?

>>46602760
>Abandon the railing and take hold of Hiss instead.
>Scream.

>>46602760
>Let go and follow Zigzag into the water. Someone has to deal with the wizard.

>>46602760
>>Grab onto her but only long enough to throw her ahead of you like a projectile.

>>46602760
>>Grab onto her but only long enough to throw her ahead of you like a projectile.
>>Let go and follow Zigzag into the water. Someone has to deal with the wizard.
>>Scream.
Throw Zigzag at the Wizard so he cant escape.

>>46602805
Nope but you are very durable right now.

>>46602899
Even against alchemical flames? If so let's toss her I guess.

>>46602760
>Let go and follow Zigzag into the water. Someone has to deal with the wizard.

>Let go and follow Zigzag into the water. Someone has to deal with the wizard.

You make a quick wave at Hiss, doing your best to indicate that you'll meet up with her shortly. You don't have time for prayer.
And with that you let go and join Zigzag in being thrown off the ship. You should be fine, you're strengthened by both the Champion's Elixir and your own enhanced treeskin.

You nearly collide with Zigzag in mid-air but you extend a branch out of your back and she reflexively grabs onto it. It should take a few seconds for the fire to reach you from there!

As the two of you hurtle through the air you twist, growing more and more branches out of different parts of your body until Zigzag is beneath you, held out like a shield.
Which she is.

You slam into the water at the same moment that the boats slam into the shore, ripping through palisades and throwing men aside like rag dolls. One of them smashes into an archer-tower and bashes it in half as the ships splinter open and disgorge crowds of disoriented and rattle-ready snakes.

Thankfull you sink beneath the water fast enough that the resulting mass Death Rattle is nothing more than a faint buzz.
You hastily retract your branches, detaching the ones still aflame as you sink. The water is pretty shallow here but not THAT shallow. The sandbar that the other soldiers were supposed to use to cross is way over to the left and you and Zigzag are sinking right past it.
Zigzag is still on fire as she sinks past you.

You can see Theodore below you, still sinking helplessly. His arms and legs are waving after his staff which is being swirled away by the discordant current created by Hiss' magic.

>He should be out of the fight then. Pick up Zigzag and leave.

>Drift down to him slowly. Better to be cautious.

>Swim down there as quickly as you can. You don't want him taking back hold of his staff!

>Keep Zigzag as a shield.

>Other

>>46603203
>He should be out of the fight then. Pick up Zigzag and leave

>>46603203
>Swim down there as quickly as you can. You don't want him taking back hold of his staff!
>Keep Zigzag as a shield.
Grow huge tough leaves on our feet to use like paddles to swim faster

>>46603246
>not making sure the wizard is dead
Have you learned nothing?

>>46603203
Yo shouldn't this guy be pretty much immobilized by the rumpleskin?

>>46603203
>>Swim down there as quickly as you can. You don't want him taking back hold of his staff!
Whip out the ishmin sword

>>46603203
>Swim down there as quickly as you can. You don't want him taking back hold of his staff!
that leaf swim fin idea is decent. plus our ridiculous strength should make us really speedy in the water.

>>46603203
>Swim down there as quickly as you can. You don't want him taking back hold of his staff!
>Keep Zigzag as a shield.
I'm still thinking our plant nature is bad news against this wizard

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>>46603306
He wasn't given a full dose so it takes time.

Calling for swimming down there as quick as you can.

>>46603393
>meanwhile_aash_and_zuukheep.png

>Swim down there as quickly as you can. You don't want him taking back hold of his staff!

The last thing you need right now is this guy getting his staff back and causing trouble for the second wave of boats. Not after all the trouble the first wave of snakes went through to clear a beachhead for them!

You start swimming down towards him, taking advantage of the fact that your body currently has more alchemy running through it than most potions to sprout stiff and wide leaves from your feet to serve as flippers not unlike those of the Bunyip.
You propel yourself down through the water with ease, using a sacrificial branch to grab Zigzag by the collar and unsheathing your sword as you do so.

Zigzag grabs the staff as it flows past you, pulling it away from the wizard. She sticks her tongue out of him, stray venom diffusing into the water.

And then the staff springs to life in her hands, becoming not unlike a snake itself! It coils around her arm and even as she raises her scales to shred it, it grinds itself up her shoulder and onto you!

>Throw Zigzag away from you before it can reach you.

>Ignore it and go for the sinking wizard.

>Grab hold of the staff.

>Throw up defensive branches to ward the staff off.

>Slash at it with your sword.

>Other

>>46603308
might be quicker to just grow a thorn from our brand and use it to inject our venom

>>46603516
>Slash at it with your sword.

>>46603516
Smash a dispel brew on it

>>46603549
this. we've got it in our bandoleer so we don't have to open our pack which I really hope is waterproof.

>>46603410
Yeah that's a pretty good filename too. I just chose Tiny_Hiss because I'm bad at names and cause she actually looks a little like Hiss with the haircut and all.

>>46603571
Well, failing all else at least the various bottles within the pack are waterproof...

>>46603543
>>46603580
this would just make two smaller staffs for him to fuck us up with anons

>>46603516
>>46603549
>>46603571

This

>>46603581
muh books

>>46603549
This

>>46602760
>Grab onto her but only long enough to throw her ahead of you like a projectile.

Indestructible snake is indestructible

>>46603581
Speaking of... What is Aash doing right now? She's not in the battle, right?

>>46603642
I've seen a few anons lag a post or so behind but I feel like this might be a new record.

>>46603700
No she is not.

Calling for Dispel.

>Smash a Dispel onto it.

You grab the Dispel Elixir from your bandoleer with your free hand and smash it onto the writhing staff, crushing in your hand.
A great cloud of sparky blue fluid disperses into the water and the staff is quickly rendered inert.

The downside of this however, and one you didn't really think about it until just now, is that you have just dispersed a Dispel Elixir while underwater.

Zigzag pushes away from you as you feel your branches start to wilt. Not just them but your Potence, your Regen, your Champion's Elixir...they're all being dispelled.
You can feel yourself weakening by the second.

Which just means you have to take care of the wizard right NOW!
You kick down to the riverbed where you can see the mostly paralysed wizard floundering. He doesn't look to be in any good shape to fight back now that you've overcome his gambit with the staff.

>Stab the crap out of him, don't waste time.

>Make sure he drowns.

>Use another potion (Specify)

>Feed him to Zigzag.

>Break the staff while it's inert.

>Other

>>46603864
>Stab the crap out of him, don't waste time.
pray to zigzag telling her to break the staff

>>46603864
>Stab the crap out of him, don't waste time.
Show him your stabs

>>46603864
>Stab the crap out of him, don't waste time.
We still have the eugene enhanced strength right?

>>46603864
>Stab the crap out of him, don't waste time.
Fuck, I didn't think that one through. Sorry anons. We'll need to brew another champion elixir before we return to the fray.

>>46603864
>Break the staff while it's inert.

>>46603893
this

I wonder what happened to Hom?

>>46604058
probably stealing our spirit-killing thunder as we speak

>>46603864
>>Stab the crap out of him, don't waste time.
no matter how subtle the wizard, etc etc

>Stab the crap out of him, don't waste time.
>Pray to Zigzag

You have to admit that you could probably have thought this one through a little better. But it DID let you disable his staff quickly so it clearly wasn't all bad.
Now there's nothing left to do but to show the wizard your sword.

Most of his skin is crinkled and bubbled by the Rumpeskin, freezing him into place as he slowly drowns. As you trudge towards him, struggling ever hard to hold your breath and to pull the dead weight of the dying branches behind you, you make a swift prayer to Zigzag.

And she hears it! She grabs the staff in both hands and squeezes, shredding straight through it with her razor scales. So if he was hiding his soul in that thing he's in big fucking trouble now.

You swing the sword only for Theodore to open his eyes and blink several times in rapid succession. Your strike suddenly stops cold, the dying branches in your back twisting around and grabbing your arm!
Another pokes you in the diaphragm and the air is forced from your lungs in fluttering diaphanous bubbles. You're out of air.

But one thought keeps you going. One thought helps you overcome.
Fuck.
Wizards.

The strength Eugene gave to you is still there and you drag yourself forward, your lungs burning, your limbs collapsing...until you drive the Ishmin sword into his neck and bring it downward. A red cloud joins the water.

And with that, the branches collapse and you are free to drown in peace. You do your best to swim upwards but the surface is too far. You drift back down and...hit somebody?
You find yourself staring at a man in full plate standing on the bottom of the riverbed. What the hell? Then you look underneath his helmet and spot the pallor of his skin. It's one of the living corpses that Hiss sent to walk across the river.

He throws you upwards and into Zigzag's waiting arms. She grabs you and starts swimming upwards and together the two of you breach through the surface and into the air beyond.
1/2

>>46604147
cennen is one hard motherfucker

>>46604147
You breathe deeply and joyously and for a moment you are just happy to drift across the river's surface in Zigzag's arms.

Maybe a little TOO happy actually. Why are you so tired? Your limbs are growing heavy and...and it feels like Zigzag's venom. That bitch! Did she bite you? Breathe it into your face?

And then you realize Zigzag didn't keep her fucking mouth shut. She's been spilling venom into the water right next to you for nearly the whole time you've been underwater.
Damn it.

>Gonna need some d100's now. Best of first 3, relatively low DC.

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>46604194
Wait did we ingest the water at some point?

>>46604147
There's a mistake in this post by the way. The branch prodding the air out of your lungs should have you inhaling water as well. Didn't notice it until the first part had already shipped unfortunately.

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>46604194
set sail for fail

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>46604194

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>46604194

I wonder if our freaky dead branches would make good alchemy reagents

>>46604248
Good idea, we should take some. Also, maybe the ones the wizard manipulated have some aditional mojo

>82

You grimace and shake it off. Must have been extremely diluted by the time it got to you.
"Hey Ziggy," you say dully. "Maybe next time you keep your mouth shut down there."

"Why?"

You don't answer her right away, your attention stolen by the sight of the battle all around you.

The far bank has been set aflame and the once formiddable array of palisades and archer-towers have been smashed asunder by a small pile of thrown boats. You weren't there to see directly but it looks like Hiss' Rattle plan was as effective as she had hoped. The snakes that had made landfall had used their Death Rattles en masse to drive fear into the heart of an entire army and send them fleeing back enough for the rest of Hiss' forces to establish a beachhead.
Even now you can see more boats continually landing and disgorging steams of living dead, human mercenaries and serpents. In addition there are living corpses dredging themselves up from the banks at every conceivable spot, having simply walked across the river.
The area around the main sandbar looks to be completely under your side's control and men are marching across it even now.

But beyond that...it looks like chaos in there. The High King's army has rallied at considerable cost and are now clashing head-on with your allies. The roar of men's voices and the clash of steel and wood is loud enough to drown out all other noises save the crackling of flames.

Even the river is afire, patches still burning from the aborted bombing attempt.

>Direct Zigzag to the far shore. You have to join the fight immediately.

>Try and get onto one of the boats still crossing. That will take you to the battle but slower, giving you time to brew.

>Direct Zigzag back. You need to regather your strength back in friendly territory.

>Other

>>46604390
>Try and get onto one of the boats still crossing. That will take you to the battle but slower, giving you time to brew.

>>46604390
>Try and get onto one of the boats still crossing. That will take you to the battle but slower, giving you time to brew.
Yo ouro this battle has been badass so far. Keep up the good work.

>>46604390
>Try and get onto one of the boats still crossing. That will take you to the battle but slower, giving you time to brew.

>>46604390
>>Try and get onto one of the boats still crossing. That will take you to the battle but slower, giving you time to brew.
Should get at least potence, champion and oakskin back up

>>46604390
>>Try and get onto one of the boats still crossing. That will take you to the battle but slower, giving you time to brew.

>>46604390
>Try and get onto one of the boats still crossing. That will take you to the battle but slower, giving you time to brew.

Sorry for the delay on this one. Was eating.

>Try and get onto one of the boats still crossing. That will take you to the battle but slower, giving you time to brew.

You and Zigzag mutually drag yourself over to a passing boat and as you call out, one of you must be recognizable to men aboard as they drop a rope ladder for you as they pass.

"Ayy, it's the Witch Queen's boy!," one of them laughs as they pull you onto the deck.

"You and the litthe witch got into a bit of trouble, have ya?"

"No worries though, can see why you're so whipped now. That was some real magic back there with the boats."

The murmur appreciatively amongst themselves as you dry yourself off. Their mockery doesn't affect you, you know they mean it in a good way. You are a little disconcerted to realize that the rumour of you being henpecked is apparently so rife but then again, how could it not? Hiss is the big scary Witch Queen after all. Not you.

You have time to brew up three potions before you make landfall. Fortunately you have Zigzag right there next to you to handle any reagent needs you might have. She's busy trying to bite a sword.

Choose 3 potions. You can brew multiples of the same type.

>Potence

>Regen

>Champion's Elixir

>Oakskin

>Tangle Elixir:

>Bramblebrew

>Other (Specify)

>>46604697
>Potence
>Champion's Elixir
>Bramblebrew
Oakskin and regen are kinda redundant when we have champion's elixir

>>46604697
>Potence
>Champion's Elixir
>Bramblebrew
Can we fill as many bottles as possible with our lethal venom during any time we have left over? They would be real nice in the caster.

>>46604697
>>Potence
>>Champion's Elixir
>>Bramblebrew


Good news is the dispel took the pain feedback from our first champion elixir too.

>>46604697
>potence
>chapion
>tangle
These guys are alright

>>46604727
Shit, we already have both potence and regen in our bandoleer. Its easy to miss. Change that potence to a tangle elixir.

>>46604759
yeah fuck change my potence to tangle too

>>46604697
>Champion's Elixir
>Tangle Elixir:
>Bramblebrew

>Champion's Elixir
>Tangle Elixir
>Bramblebrew

You groan as you open your pack only to realize that the whole damn thing is waterlogged. This thing isn't like your old pack. It isn't even waterproof! Your potions and your lab is fine but any books and paper is utterly ruined. Damn it!

You whip up those three potions as quickly as you can and down all three, fighting off the plant-induced sleepiness as you do so.
Just in time as well as a shudder runs through the entire boat as the ferry runs aground on the shore. You can hear the men disembarking in a chorus of ragged whoops and battlecries.
Looks like Hiss' display on the river convinced them that they're on the winning side.

You're going to follow them but first...are there any other potions you'd like to drink from your supply before you leave?

>Yes (Specify)

>No. Let's go!

File: lol skellies.png (2.95 MB, 1920x1080)

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>>46604390
goddamn that image of battle.

>>46604949
>Yes (Specify)
Potence, regen, antimagic
Also fill a couple bottles with our lethal venom

>>46604949
Potence and regen

>>46604949
Do antimagic brews stack? If so drink two of those after drinking potence and regen

>>46605008
This + move skinshedder to our bandoleer.

>>46604988
This. Also I am filled with rage that all of our books are destroyed. Time to take it out on some poor soldiers and/or a wizard and/or a spirit.

>>46605041
Shouldn't have jumped in the water like a jackass then.

In addition, a minute of silence for the loss of Cennen's Outdated Fashion Catalogue. That which helped create Hiss and countless other snakes during the census is no longer with us after so long.

Also I'm calling it for
>Potence
>Regen
>Antimagic
>Bottle some venom

>>46605050
I think the real stupid move would have been to not make sure the wizard died.

>>46605052
RIP Cennen's wank material. You will be missed.

>>46605054
Zigzag could have handled it. I mean Christ we just sped up the inevitable.
>>46605070
Implying he ever used it for such. Besides we have a Hiss for that.

>>46605050
I had been so spoiled by our previous badass pack that I didn't even think it would be an issue
>>46605052
gone but not forgotten

>>46605070
But all the snake girls are like his fashion catalog. And a good chuck of the males.

>>46605092
With snakes it doesn't matter if what zigzag and Orange said is accurate.

>Potence
>Regen
>Antimagic
>Bottle some venom

You pop your potions open in quick succession and drink them all, letting power flood your body once more. You also stock up some of your spare bottles with lethal venom. How many? As many as you need.
>For the rest of this battle, you can always use venom as ammunition for the Caster!

Now, you recall promising Hiss that you'd be by her side today. And that's one promise you intend to keep.
You and Zigzag leave the ship, running to catch up to the company of mercenaries ahead of you.

You pick your way through ruined palisades, a broken-in-half ship lying in a furrow up ahead showing you exactly what smashed through it. There are corpses everywhere and only some of them are still moving.

You are quickly joined by a small contingent of Hiss' living corpses, each one clad in heavy full-plate and wielding greatswords. They're all still sopping wet from their underwater voyage but they don't seem to notice it.

What awaits you is a visage that looks like it could have come straight from some version of hell. The bodies of men and even some snakes litter the ground and the air is thick with smoke, arrows and the stench of carrion.
The sound of battle is all around you, the screams of men and women fighting and dying.

The lines of battle have begun to fall apart and the pair of you are stranded in a bloodsoaked melee.

"Where's Hiss?"

Zigzag thinks for a moment and then points. Up ahead through the chaos you can see the bodies of fully armoured men going flying above the battlefield as if they had been swatted aside by an angry god.
"Probably over there."

"Right."

But how best to traverse this hellscape?

>Just fight your way through it! It's what Hiss would want.

>See if you can find a way around.

>Try and sneak through it without too much bloodshed.

>Pray for Hiss to come to you.

>Other

>>46605198
>Just fight your way through it! It's what Hiss would want.
Might as well. We can tagteam with Ziggy pretty well.

>>46605198
Grow some shunts to knock people aside, potence charge our way through.

>>46605198
>>Just fight your way through it! It's what Hiss would want.
Let's not let our sword work go to waste.

>>46605198
>Just fight your way through it! It's what Hiss would want.
Let's see how Oster's training holds up

>>46605214
>>46605226
>>46605230
Fighting takes too long just charge through.

>>46605198
>Just fight your way through it! It's what Hiss would want.
Use sword and poisoned thorn as much as possible, save our caster for dire situations. Stay close to Zigzag and work in tandem. She's like a living shield.

goddammit i always miss this quest

>Just fight your way through it! It's what Hiss would want.

It's about time isn't it? Hiss would have asked this of you eventually. And it's not like you haven't killed plenty of other people before.
You hold your sword in one hand and grow a long and slender envenomed thorn out of the palm of the other.
"Charge!" a voice that you barely recognize as yours bellows.

You run forward and looking to the side you find Zigzag right by your side. Your battlecry draws the attention of a small crowd of enemy soldiers and it's just the two of you charging towards them alone...

"That's the way!"
"Atta boy!"
"For the Queen!"

...Until the two of you are joined by the squad of undead knights that had accompanied you earlier, the men diverting themselves from their previous engagements to join you in their charge.
With them by your side, the men before you don't stand a chance.

The living corpses are tireless and thus push just a little ahead of you on the charge, enemy spears splintering on their armoured sides as they knock swords aside and plough past common men. One of them gets stabbed straight through his open visor but he just keeps on fighting and the sight of him swinging his sword about with another sword stuck in his face does an awful lot to demoralize the enemy.

You don't quite have the benefit of such fine plate armour but your Champion's Elixir is the next best thing and you freely push forward in their wake, darting in and out to stab at men. You hang back as Oster taught you and swing with your shoulder to best maximise your reach but in the end it doesn't really matter. They still strike at you and their swords bounce off your skin while you repay them in kind with sword and thorn. But your Champion's Elixir isn't invulnerable however so you do your best to fight sensibly all the same.

Zigzag is not bound to such rules of course. She isn't even charging so much as ildly wandering about, swords and spears bouncing off her without her even noticing.
1/2

>>46605382
She keeps her hands to herself and makes no blows as she walks through the battlefield. Instead she simply takes deep breaths and makes sure to lean in to troublesome soldiers. It doesn't take long before they start toppling over from her inhaled venom.

You start towards her only to stop as a sword slams into your head from behind! The unexpected blow is strong enough to send you stumbling and though you do not feel pain, you can feel blood welling up from your scalp. He broke your Champion skin!
Fortunately your Regen brew kicks in shortly after and the blood starts to dry up as you turn around to behold your foe.

A large man steps forward, clad in dented and bloodstained full-plate armour. He's completely covered with some of the newfangled armoursmithing Oster told you about once. They have ways to cover the armpits, the joints, even the back of the knees.
And in his hands he wields an immense single-edged greatsword of some variety. Evidently powerful enough to blow through your steel skin.

He doesn't say a word, nor does he shout a challenge. He's already stepping forward for another swing.

>Try to swordfight and hope for your Potence to carry the day.

>Get some distance between you and use the Caster!

>Flee back towards Zigzag.

>Use Potion (Specify)

>Try to nobble the greatsword away from him.

>Other

>>46605446
>Get some distance between you and use the Caster!

>>46605446
>Get some distance between you and use the Caster!
Snakebreaker, unfortunately just glass shrapnel won't cut it

>>46605446
>Get some distance between you and use the Caster!
fuck we're gonna be hurting so bad when this wears off

>>46605446
>>Get some distance between you and use the Caster

Inb4 it's Oster

>>46605487
Regen brew thank goodness

>>46605446
>Try to swordfight and hope for your Potence to carry the day.
We're stronger than Hiss right now right? The question is whether our sword is strong enough to hurt him. Also is Zigzag just paralyzing them or does she have lethal venom too?

>>46605497
Right but when the Champion brews wears off we're hit by all the pain it blocked at once.

>>46605505
No just paralyzing, like Blue has addictive, and Hiss has lethal.

>>46605505
You strength is roughly equivalent to that of Aashenpreet now so yes.
And yes, she's just paralysing. She doesn't have lethal venom for the stated reason of liking to feel things squirm when they go down her throat.

>>46605446
>Get some distance between you and use the Caster!
This guy is badass. Too bad his armor and weapon are obsolete. I think Hiss might appreciate the great sword as a gift though.

Sorry about the delay on this one! Got a phone call.

>>Get some distance between you and use the Caster

You throw up your sword to parry the blow and the result sends you stumbling back with the tremors of the block running down your arm and through your body in a way that would be quite painful if it weren't for your Champion's Elixir.
The man grunts, evidently surprised that you're that strong. You could say the same actually. This man is almost as strong as you!

You remind yourself that you're not the only alchemist on the battlefield today and even if Hiss played havoc with their supply lines like she said she would, evidently at least one strength-enhancer found its way home.

You jump back as he swings again and you don't even try to make a retaliatory attack. His reach outstrips yours by a wide margin with that blade and you can't just take the hit like you were doing with everyone else.
No, it's time to bring a Caster to a sword-fight.
You just need to find a way to make some damn distance!

You'd think the armour would slow him down but evidently not! You manage to create a few meters of distance, enough time to slam down your pack and grab both the Caster and a Snakebreaker.
You break open the Caster as he closes in and- trickles of water flow out as you open the Caster up. The damn thing is waterlogged!

The giant knife-like sword swings down again and you're forced to use the Caster to block, thanking the deceased Duke with all your heart for making it indestructible.
Only a quick growth of temporary roots stops you from being knocked straight on your arse by the impact.

>Hit him in the head with the Caster.

>Do your best to unclog the Caster before firing.

>Just fire anyway! Who cares about a bit of water!

>Detonate the Snakebreaker at close range like a maniac.

>Whip out a potion from your bandoleer (Specify)

>Feign death

>Other

>>46605728
>Hit him in the head with the Caster.
Then shoot him since I assume the water will come out while hitting him.

>>46605728
>Hit him in the head with the Caster.
Or anywhere really. The chest would crumple his armor and fuck up his breathing, and I'm not above a hit to the family jewels either. Whatever we can do quickest. Then finish him off.

We'll be going as late as we need to tonight by the way. Don't have work tonight and I'd like to get the whole thing done in one thread. That is, if you guys are up for staying up extra-late with me that is!

Just in case I'm going to archive early in case I conk out beforehand. If I go for like an hour without updating just assume I'm asleep.

>>46605728
Would a knockout brew affect any of our allies if we used it here?

>>46605822
It's hard to tell but no.

>>46605728
>>Hit him in the head with the Caster.

>>46605728
>Just fire anyway! Who cares about a bit of water!
The only chamber that matters with the snakebreaker is the one we just opened so its already clear of water. And since we just confirmed that the Dukes enchantment didn't get dispelled we should be safe.

>>46605728
Knockout brew him. Gotta save our ammo.

>>46605817
I'm up for it. Class was mysteriously cancelled tomorrow.

>>46604697
> other

Brew shapes hit go full dragon

>Hit him in the head with the Caster.

Yeah, fuck this! You have a better way to clear water out of your Caster! You have no idea if this actually clears water out of the Caster but it FEELS like it should.

So with that in mind you raise the Caster like a club, rooting yourself to the ground and directing emergency growth to your muscles before swinging the Caster right at his head!

He steps back and slams down his sword on your outstretched hand, blade chewing through steel skin and slicing through the flesh beneath.
A tremendous force blows through your arm as it's slammed downward!

>Going to need a roll to keep your grip and finish the swing! Best of the first 3 1d100s.

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>46605950
pls

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>46605950

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>46605950

>>46605974
Fuck yeah anon

>>46605974
Noice, writan.
Now just to be fair, I did mention in the update just before that his reach is such that swinging was probably going to give him a free hit.

>>46605988
Makes sense to me

>91

You just grit your teeth and let the blade scrape along your arm, more and more of the alchemical power within you being directed to your muscles, flooding them with woody flesh.
You push his sword back and with the opening you've created, pull the Caster back and slam it straight into his head.

The knight topples with a crash, a large dent caved into the side of his helmet as you drop the Caster, panting from the exertion. The man writhes along the ground for a few moments and gurgles something but it looks you got him good. After just a few more seconds he falls still.

There, that wasn't so hard! All it took was just a little cut on your arrrrrrrrrrrrrrholy shit!
Your wrist has been cut near clean through! Flesh and bone torn apart, your hand now dangles from your wrist connected only by a flap of skin on the underside.
That is really going to hurt when the Elixir wears off. But for now you just stare at with a strange sense of detached horror.
Looks like you'll be using your left hand for now.


>Find a quiet spot and start brewing.

>Chug all the Heal-Alls you have.

>Drink just one Heal-All for now and go find Hiss!

>Finish the job, severing your right hand completely so you can grow a wooden one in its place.

>Use Potion (Specify)

>Other

>>46606056
Is this the hand with our brand on it?

>>46606064
Yes.

>>46606056
>Finish the job, severing your right hand completely so you can grow a wooden one in its place.
If a wooden hand would actually be usable the quick fix is probably the right choice

>>46606056
Pull and sort of stitch it back together with small vine/thorns grown from both sides of the cut and drink two heal-alls

>>46606084
Would we be able to use a wooden hand normally?

>>46606107
Yes, using the Tangle Elixir to manipulate it.

>>46606056
>Finish the job, severing your right hand completely so you can grow a wooden one in its place.

>>46606056
>Finish the job, severing your right hand completely so you can grow a wooden one in its place.
Hiss might think we died if she can't feel the brand connection anymore so pray to reassure her

>>46606148
Meh if we're close enough to her it won't take long to reassure her in person

I really hope Hom is with Hiss.

>>46606172
He's fine, he regenerated after being buried alive with a broken neck.

Ugh, sorry guys. Work called up and they need a last minute replacement. It's only for an hour but I won't be able to finish up after that probably.
I'll run the next thread tomorrow and we can get all of this finished up then!

Until then, the thread has been archived, check the twitter for dates, etc etc. I hope you all had a wonderful time! If any of you have questions or something to say feel free to drop 'em in-thread, I'll get back to you in an hour or so.

>>46606286
So heal-alls would have trouble reconnecting the severed nerves in our wrist to our hand but they can regrow the hand right?

>>46606286
No worries I'm about to pass out anyway

>>46606286
On a scale from 1 to 10 how butthurt will Hiss be that we lost our brand?

>>46606286
Thanks for running! Great thread.

>>46606292
Yeah. It takes multiple doses and time however. Remember how long it took Hiss to get her eye back?

>>46606322
10 outta 10

>>46606769
Wait, what happened to HOM? Is he alright?

>>46607373
Last you saw of him he was still on the boat you jumped off. I assumed you guys trusted his ability to be on a battlefield by his own since you left him there to go wizard-fighting.

He's around somewhere.

>>46607469
somewheres

Note to self: punch Blue for ruining our pack.

>>46607823
Wouldn't do much now. Just make us a spiteful asshole.

>>46607469
Since we had regen active couldn't we have popped some heal alls and the nerve damage would be reset thanks to regen?

>>46607823
I really wished we had punished her at the time but I agree with>>46610915
Doing something now would just make us look like a child taking out our frustrations. Best we wait till either she tries something again or someone else tries to screw us , the homunculkids , or hiss then we show them how terrifying the queen's consort and alchemist is.

>>46613785
Wish we still had Moldruns notes for that

File: hissfanart.jpg (691 KB, 2048x1152)

691 KB JPG

Fuck, did you guys really keep the thread alive while I was gone? Instead of starting a new thread today then I'll just run in this one 'til it hits the archive.

I'll be posting in an hour!

>>46615475
I think it's be better to remove her arts and turn her human for a day then require her by wish bond to help around the snake parts of the camp ( maybe working with orange ) and to look people in the eyes when she's spoken to.

>>46617263
Dude she already has almost no snake arts.

>>46617286
It's more the Cennen being able to remove any bit of power that she does have and then that every other snake can trance her, it would definitely work better on a more powerful snake but just being a snake is pretty important to her own identity and Cennen metaphysicaly redefining that is a level of control hiss doesn't have. Also I doubt that in a day full of snake none of them would completely avoid nibbling or at least looking at her soul.

>>46617426
Why you want to do this weird punishment to her anyway? It'd just make her hate us and Hiss even more

>>46617263
>>46617426
Seriously punishing her now is stupid, and the whole human for a day bit is mostly pointless. Permanently inflicting body horror and instability isn't.

>>46617575
lol wut

>>46617600
Moldrun's notes. Aka the catalogue of body horror incarnate. If we're going for sheer pant's shitting terror and disgust, it'd be far more effective than just sealing or stealing her art.

>>46617632
but why? you're going full edgelord for no actual reason

>>46617637
I was saying punishing her now would be stupid. However if we had to punish/make an example out of, that would be far more effective. Snakes are liable not to give a fuck unless it's either REALLY bad or they are on the receiving end.


I honestly expect the first snake to eat a soul when Hiss tells them not too to bb punished so badly Ouro won't describe it at all, just the emotions it engendered.

>>46617637
We are trying to make snake who have already considered death or whatever hiss can do think again about turning traitor, you haft to go pretty deep down be it physical or psychological terror if you want to achieve that.
Whatever it is that happens Cennen should be seen doing it or well known to be the cause, the big reason we have a problem with traitors is snake's think that he's weak. Also it should be a pretty big hit to the far to huge snake pride for their punishments to be carried out by a human.

>>46617844
All I see are excuses for being as edgy as possible

>>46617950
alright anon we've expressed why we've gone there and ,what I think, the basic assumption is that the threat of more binine punishment won't deter snakes from going traitor against hiss. Can you provide us a way to achieve our goal of " deterring traitor snakes fundamentally opposed to hiss" without being "edgy".

Does Blue have amphibious? Cause I am thinking water-proof snakeskin bag. If we wanted to really be a dick, have Hiss spit her soul back into it for giggles.

>>46618071
Ok now you're getting even more ridiculous. And no, Blue has no snake arts.

File: tiny_aash.gif (483 KB, 243x270)

483 KB GIF

>>46618096
That was mostly be facetious. Though snake skin is pretty bitching. Would go great with our mullet.

>Finish the job, severing your right hand completely so you can grow a wooden one in its place.

Find a quiet place and brew? What the hell are you thinking about? There are no quiet places here! You have to get the job done!

Grimacing for future pain, you take your dented sword and finish the job. Your branded hand hits the muddy ground and just like that, you feel vaguely empty. Confused. Things no longer have quite the purpose they used to. You never noticed it before but Hiss' quiet presence in your mind has vanished.
You pick up the hand and place it gently in your pack. You'll need it later. And then you hold out your bleeding stump and imagine clenching the fist you don't have.

It takes a lot of you, especially considering that you already used so much to fight the knight but in the end your hand has been replaced by a gnarled wooden fist.
You clench and unclench it a few times. It's not quite the same but it'll do.

Now, where is His-

"CENNEN!"
An ear-piercing shriek makes itself known across the battlefield. Above you, you see a helmeted head not dissimilar to the knight you just fought go soaring into the air. Various parts of his still-armoured body can be seen just moments later.
Oh no. With the brand gone she must think you’re dead!

You run towards the centre of the fighting, praying to her as hard as you can. You're not dead!
Zigzag joins you, the diminutive girl still completely unscratched. Unsurprising.

"Hiss!," you bellow as you do your best to fight your way to her. Hopefully Hom is still with her. That thought almost makes you stop for a moment. Did you really leave Hom alone on the battlefield?

Out of the periphery of your vision you see the glimmer of light on glass. An armoured man has thrown a bottle straight at you!

>Roll a 1d100. Best of the first 3.

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>46618151

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>46618151

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>46618151
dice gods pls stop this nonsense

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>46618151
again with the shitty rolls

Wait does our antimagic protect us from contact brews?

>>46618192
67 it is, writan.

>>46618117
Aash actually prefers her human forms to have regular skin.