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>>46274846
"Yeah!" Neptune slurs from where she's faceplanted against the cavern floor. "Welcome back! You're back. We're all back. Back to doing what Nintendon't!"

Blanc doesn't even bother looking up from her book. "I'll end you," she deadpans from where she's resumed her seat.

"O-Oneechan..." Nepgear hovers over the original Nep like a worried mother hen. Jeez, when she's transformed into her taller and older-looking battle mode, it's hard to remember which of them is the big sister.

So yeah, just to recap: in your fort "Hyperdimension," you've got three goddesses chilling in your storeroom. One is drunk, one is less than 24 hours old, and the other is preventing a cold war from going hot. And speaking of /that/, two adventurers have fortified useless positions in the opposite corners of the room, using frankly terrifying amounts of firepower, and are half a step away from resuming hostilities.

Also, the third adventurer is nowhere to be seen. The ONLY adventurer you can rely on is your surrogate little sister, Mojang, and the front of her hoodie is splattered with nose blood because of reasons.

Honestly, you'd aspired to having your own fortress in (or around) Gamindustri for years, but you'd never have expected this sort of scene in your wildest dreams.

(Cont.)

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>>46274871
>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [TO PLANEPTUNE!]
[ ] [PLANOPETUNE] Forget waiting for Neptune to get better: you'll go there without her, find that Key Fragment, and get Nepgear attuned to her own nation's sharicite lode. Might as well put your portal through its paces.
[ ] [HOME IMPROVEMENT] Okay, you've got quite a few adventurers and goddesses living in this place now; might as well make this place /livable/, and put in some actual rooms and facilities. Check up on Blanc, Tiff, and Thravar, while you're at it.
[ ] [BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES] Now that you're a dwarf again, it's time you did a full sweep of your fort, and make sure there are no structural weak points or hidden cavern breaches or WHERE THE HELL IS DOOMGIRL.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46274889
>[ ] [ALCOHOL] DRINK! DRINK IT ALL

>>46274889
>[ ] [HOME IMPROVEMENT] Okay, you've got quite a few adventurers and goddesses living in this place now; might as well make this place /livable/, and put in some actual rooms and facilities. Check up on Blanc, Tiff, and Thravar, while you're at it.

It's time.

>>46274889
>[ ] [HOME IMPROVEMENT] Okay, you've got quite a few adventurers and goddesses living in this place now; might as well make this place /livable/, and put in some actual rooms and facilities. Check up on Blanc, Tiff, and Thravar, while you're at it.
Alright, break it up you fags

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Perhaps when things are settled, Nepgear and Tiff can talk about machines.

>>46274889
>[ ] [BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES] Now that you're a dwarf again, it's time you did a full sweep of your fort, and make sure there are no structural weak points or hidden cavern breaches or WHERE THE HELL IS DOOMGIRL.
Can't start with home improvement when our home is still at risk of EXPLODING.

>>46274889
>[x] [HOME IMPROVEMENT] Okay, you've got quite a few adventurers and goddesses living in this place now; might as well make this place /livable/, and put in some actual rooms and facilities. Check up on Blanc, Tiff, and Thravar, while you're at it.
Domestic Urist~

>>46274889
>[X] [HOME IMPROVEMENT] Okay, you've got quite a few adventurers and goddesses living in this place now; might as well make this place /livable/, and put in some actual rooms and facilities. Check up on Blanc, Tiff, and Thravar, while you're at it.

>>46274889
>[ ] [PLANOPETUNE] Forget waiting for Neptune to get better: you'll go there without her, find that Key Fragment, and get Nepgear attuned to her own nation's sharicite lode. Might as well put your portal through its paces.

>>46274889
>[ ] [BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES] Now that you're a dwarf again, it's time you did a full sweep of your fort, and make sure there are no structural weak points or hidden cavern breaches or WHERE THE HELL IS DOOMGIRL.

Make like a boat in the storm.

Also Blorp making Dwarf Fortress Quest is the best easter sunday easter egg ever.

>>46274889
>[HOME IMPROVEMENT]
Fall victim to your Overseer instincts and start assigning these *No Job* slackers some labors. This place doesn't even have enough bedrooms for the incoming migrants, much less a barracks or any offices or...

(It's been far too long since our dwarven quirks betrayed us in any amusing way.)

>>46274889
>[WRITE IN] You're way too sober for this shit. Take a loooooong gulp of your flask and then proceed to [PLANOPETUNE]

Also, running this on my birthday...I LOVE you blorp.

>>46274889
>[ ] [HOME IMPROVEMENT] Okay, you've got quite a few adventurers and goddesses living in this place now; might as well make this place /livable/, and put in some actual rooms and facilities. Check up on Blanc, Tiff, and Thravar, while you're at it.

Doing that will be probably the best action. Also, while doing this, pasively do
>[ ] [BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES] Now that you're a dwarf again, it's time you did a full sweep of your fort, and make sure there are no structural weak points or hidden cavern breaches or WHERE THE HELL IS DOOMGIRL.

Meaning: If someone happens to see a breach or Doomgirl, they should make you aware of it/fix it if possible, in case of mojang.

Right, looks like [HOME IMPROVEMENT] wins; writing!

>>46274994
Oh shit, that's right. Happy early Easter, I suppose!

>>46275159
Happy Birthday!

>>46275037
Oh yeah, also, talk to Blanc and find out what exactly is going on and why there's two maniacs preparing for a seige inside YOUR fortress. Draft them into your military or trapmakers and redirect their efforts outward.

>>46275269
Well, the quest does seem to always rise again on the third reschedule...

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How many sessions until Vert meets Nepgear?

>>46275343
It was only on reschedule this time.

I think either one of gods of the arts tried to curse blorp, or tried to bless him and because we are human it didn't work as inteded.

>>46275395
Where's we last leave Vert, anyway? She was holding Mojang... Weren't we with her when the Red Ring banished us to Hyperdimension?

>>46275437
Don't ruin my half-baked jokes with your "logic" and "facts".

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>>46275471
I can't remember.

>>46274889
>[X] [BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES] Now that you're a dwarf again, it's time you did a full sweep of your fort, and make sure there are no structural weak points or hidden cavern breaches or WHERE THE HELL IS DOOMGIRL.
>[X] [WRITE-IN] BOOZE

Holy crap, I just realized that while our entire party, including two goddesses, have been messing around with other dimensions and body swapping, we've completely forgot that ARFOIRE is back and actively doing stuff. Yes, she theoretically got flung into the Hyperdimension just like us, but she didn't seem to bother by it, and obviously it's possible to leave. We need to locate Rokko, Estelle, Moru Shovel Knight, etc, too. We've got a lot of catching up to do.

>>46274889
>no booze option
blorp plz.

>>46274889
>[ ] [BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES] Now that you're a dwarf again, it's time you did a full sweep of your fort, and make sure there are no structural weak points or hidden cavern breaches or WHERE THE HELL IS DOOMGIRL.
This is the most dwarfy impulse that should be hitting us now that we got our body back.

Plus, we really need to know where the most unstable member of the group is.

>>46275471
Nope we were with Blank in the factory dungeon staring down Arfoire disgiused as Estell

>>46275634
We have Shovel. She endured a fate worse than death: Trapped in the Illusionary world of a HArem Vermin/Protagonist.

>>46275643
Booze is always the default option regardless of what else gets chosen.

>>46275634
Shovel Knight is sleeping her ass off in our fortress

>>46275675
I wonder if she's still pure.

Hopefully the Protag she was with was one of those fags who won't defile his waifu.

>>46275711
I think judging how we found her she hasen't given him any chance to touch her.

>>46274846
ALL HAIL BLORP

>>46275761
Brothers of the mine, rejoice!

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Rom and Ram when?

Uni when?

>>46275783
And now I must think about simon waking up as a dwarf in dwarf fortress.

Also, apparently Captcha sees Cappuchinos as coffees

>>46275809
until urist inevitably fuck up again

I bet it will go to shit again next roll

>>46275822
Cappuccinos, tea, hot chocolate...

It has an amazing knack for telling the difference between street signs and street names though.

>>46275845
I think you a word

>>46274889
[x] whatever option involves headpating nepgear and mojang

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I cant wait for the moe personification of EA

>>46276041
Wouldn't that be a way more jerkass Expy of Scrooge McDuck? Who was once a good natured lass?

>>46276041
...and then viciously murder her

>>46275822
The thing is, even if I didn't still like the Yogscast, that song would still be the best Dwarf Fortress theme outside of the actual in-game music. It's just so stereotypically dwarfy while also being epic.

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>>46276041
wow I can just imagine the bounty on her head

>>46276094
Nah, Mate, that would be too good. How about slowly cooking her in silver first?
Or rapidly bring her to 1 HP and heal her back up for a bunch of centurys?
Sadly, we can't give her the gratest torture: Give her to the Personification of Apple.

>>46276253
make her listen to Neptune for eternity

>>46276280
That isn't torture. That is an inconvenience at best.

>>46276309
YOU NO NOT THE INSANITY THAT YOU LAUGH AT

>>46276041
Please no. The last thing our fort needs is a vampire.

>>46276041
Blorp's said he's been overlooking company personifications in favor of games. I did make some speculation about some similar ideas a few threads ago, though: http://pastebin.com/PrLD270N

>>46276357
If EA would be able to go insane from that it would already have from all the fans.

Than again, EA being deeply insane would explain many things, but then Neptune rambklings would be useless as well.

>>46276401
bummer

>>46276415
a day with plutia then

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Reminder that if we use the door, everybody will see this.

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>>46276468
>a day with plutia then

Better: Give EA to Plutia as her personal Pet to play with for an infinite timespan.

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>>46276401
mwhahahahaHAHAHAHAHAAAAAaaaaa

>>46276627
Interestingly, E.T. wasn't a worse game than the Atari game for Indiana Jones according to the AVGN.

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>>46276627
gentleman grab your safety goggles

>>46276627
>>46276679
Sadly licensed games dont appear in game industry.

It'd be funny seeing those two

>>46274889
>[X] [HOME IMPROVEMENT]
>[X] [BOOZE, BECAUSE ANON HAS TAKEN RESPONSIBILITY OF URIST'S ALCOHOLISM]

Right, that's enough waxing nostalgic or ecstatic or euphoric or whatever. You've got your own body back, and it's time to move onto-

You spend the next five minutes emptying most of your booze supply down your throat, balancing barrels and rock pots in one hand with practiced ease as you go from zero to buzzed in no time flat. Honestly, you've never figured out how your stomach is able to hold a greater volume of liquid than any one of your barrels- it never occurred to you before young Mojang asked you- but you sure do put your stomach (and your liver) through its paces.

... okay, NOW you're ready to face the world. Next time you see Neptune in your dreams, you're waking yourself up immediately, dire portents be damned.

So originally, you were planning to make a trip to Planeptune, so as to pick up that Key Fragment and start putting Histoire back together again. You damn well need the Oracle of Gamindustri in your corner, because you can never have too much information when it comes to living in the dimensional void and whatever Arfoire's planning.

While you're there, you'd sync Nepgear up with her country's sharicite lode, because you'd feel like shit if she burned to non-existence before she was even a week old. And once you get /back/, you'll have to see if Shovel Knight's woken up, so you can question her, reassure her, and apologize /profusely/ for dragging her into the worst experience of her entire fucking life.

In the meantime, though.

(Cont.)

>>46276727
Do not speak of that game, it only gives it more power.

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>>46276727
MY EYES MY EYES

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>>46276777
"My little sister can't possibly be this angelic! As expected of Planeptune! As expected of me!" Neptune giggles, taking full advantage of Nepgear's lap pillow to rub her cheek against her little sister's legs, much to the young goddess's consternation. "Sega's the softest, fluffiest company in the world!"

"Oneechan, please! This isn't proper!" Nepgear stammers, looking up at you with silently pleading eyes.

As you and Mojang pry a completely shitfaced Neptune away from her little sister, you figure that you're gonna have to delay that Planeptune field trip.

Besides, no one appears to have examined your sharicite portal yet, and you'd like to put that off for as long as you can. Maybe you can sneakily cover up the engraved pictures on Temptbleaches the Dutiful Chastity before anyone thinks to take a close look at it.

"I'm just going to go clear Neptune's head," Mojang says cheerfully, dragging Neptune by the ankle and ignoring the goddess's drunken giggling. "It won't take long! Ah, can I use the corridor next to the bedrooms, oneechan?"

Sure, just be sure to clean up afterward.

"Got it!"

You give her a wave before turning to deal with Nepgear, who's hunched down a little like she's trying to use you as a shield- no small feat, given how much taller she is. C'mon, Nep Jr., let's go.

She nods, straightening up and holding onto one of your braids as you both start walking. You let it slide, because the alternative may be holding hands, and you're not ready to accidentally create another Forgotten Beast, knowing your piss-poor luck. "What are we going to do?"

With a sigh, you glance at the buildup of turrets and towers on the sides of the roomm before squinting at Therapist. Thankfully, it's free from weird static-y interference, but it's also claiming that Tiff and Thravar are "stationed" in the storeroom.

With any luck, you'll teach Nepgear- from observation- how to deal with two goddamn dumbasses who don't know any better.

(Cont.)

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>>46276806
"Took you long enough," Blanc deadpans as you and Nepgear approach her seat. She's really making herself comfortable, using bins as a makeshift throne and cheap cloth piles as a makeshift cushion. You can't help but note that she's also halfway through that inane book. "So. How are you going to deal with these two?"

That depends. What's the deal with them?

"Some sort of grudge," she replies. "Thravar used to be Dao's big sister. When they parted ways, Tiff picked her up. Apparently, Tiff and Thravar have some bad blood about the whole thing." Blanc's voice cools noticeably. "Goes a long way to explain why Dao's such a troublemaker."

It takes your mind a moment to dredge up that name from your memory, but eventually- right. Dao. The personification of DOTA, the tanned swordswoman with a mask and an allergy to shirts, and a fairly powerful adventurer in her own right.

But... seriously? This whole dumb fight is about little sisters? Is Gamindustri just little sisters all the way down? Is some scientist is going to find the smallest possible particle in the known universe, at which point it will look up at her and go "oneechan?" in a nauseatingly cute voice?

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING
[ ] [APPROACH TIFF] Talk to Tiff about setting aside this grudge until later. Of the two, you know her better, and you can remind her of your promise to get Dao to safety.
[ ] [APPROACH THRAVAR] Get Thravar's side of the story, and get her to back down first. She's the newer member of your fort, so she really ought to shape up.
[ ] [DWARVEN MEDIATION] Sit them both down and tell them, in no uncertain terms, that their stupid grudge won't fly, because you've all got bigger things to worry about.
[ ] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit.

>>46276832
>[ ] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit.
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Use Therapist to look a Nepgear's relationships.

>>46276832
[ ] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit.

>More booze

>>46276832
>[ ] [DWARVEN MEDIATION, BUT GET BOTH OF THEM HALF-DRUNK FIRST]
Ah alcohol, is there anything you can't solve?

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>>46276892
Neptune

>>46276832
>[X] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit.
Time to make them simultaneously more pissed off and scared of us than each other, and manipulate them to bonding through the hardships we place on them as a group.

>>46276832
[ ] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit. look you can kill each other AFTER we fortify this place ok

>>46276832
>[x] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit.
THIS! IS! DWARF FORTREEEEESS!

>>46276832

>[ ] [DWARVEN MEDIATION] Sit them both down and tell them, in no uncertain terms, that their stupid grudge won't fly, because you've all got bigger things to worry about.

>>46276832
>[ ] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit.

>>46276832
>[ ] [DWARVEN MEDIATION] Sit them both down and tell them, in no uncertain terms, that their stupid grudge won't fly, because you've all got bigger things to worry about.

Use this as a pretense and then:

>[ ] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit.

This will go probably very poorly if we roll a .... did we use the classic P&P rules (Rolling under) or the modern P&P rules (Rolling over)?

>>46277006
DAMMIT

>>46276918
it got her off our back for a little while

>>46276832
>[X] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit.
Time to get to work dumbasses

>>46276832
>[ ] [DWARVEN MEDIATION] Sit them both down and tell them, in no uncertain terms, that their stupid grudge won't fly, because you've all got bigger things to worry about.
Fuck you.

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>>46277062
But then we have to deal with drunk Nep.

I'm a little worried about blunt forced break up

They both obviously have issues they need to work through, it might not be a good idea to ignore it

>>46276832
>[ ] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] Ignore this stupid grudge. Yell at them to stop lazing around and get to work helping you make this fortress properly defended AND livable. You're not dealing with this quagmire right now, and their resources are too good to waste on this shit.
They're both used to getting yelled at to get to work.

>>46277149
That we can do with them later, for example, when we find the cold corpse of Dao.

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Okay, looks like [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP] is the winning vote, so-

>Urist Twelfthbay chews out some fools!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
No DC, but the higher the better!

>>46277197
this isn't conquest ending anon

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>46277225
Let's do this!

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>46277225

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>46277225
nat 1 inc

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>46277225

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>46277225
RIP

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>46277225
Polon

>>46277258
SAVED

>>46277258
>>46277284
Yeah, pretty much saved! Writing!

>>46277245
>>46277251
>>46277258
Jesus fucking christ, don't scare me like that.

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>>46277238
Nah, Conquest would have Dao as our Court Jester.

>>46277284
>>46277289
>>46277302
Fuck you all, I really wanted that nat 1. Shit would've been so cash.

Just run Blorp.

Things are finally back on the rails, it's the perfect time for another storm.

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>46278595
>>46278629

Fucks for everyone!

>>46276832
>>46277225
>[X] [BLUNT FORCE BREAKUP]
>[X] under the guise of ["DWARVEN MEDIATION"]

Nepgear glances down at you before doing a double-take. "Oneechan, your face is a little scary..."

Good. If they're not smart enough to be scared of the hyperdimensional void AND what'll happen if they keep blowing holes in the fort, then maybe they can at least be scared of /you/.

For the second time that day, you walk right into their theoretical line of fire, a young goddess at your heels. This time, though, you stop smack-dab in the middle and cross your arms across your chest, medieval fantasy towers to your right and retro science fiction turrets to your left.

Even them, it takes them about a minute to notice you. You'll take their slower reactions as a good sign; this means they're sulking and/or thinking, rather than being alert and prepared to murder each other on a moment's notice.

"Oh gods," Thravar groans, peeking out from behind one of her many towers. "It's the dwarf girl!"

"Huh?" Tiff looks up; clad in her engineer's overalls, the adventurer appears to be tuning some sort of small stringed instrument. "Well blow me down, if it isn't-"

Cut the pleasantries, you growl, and c'mere. We have to talk.

Before too long, you've got two adventurers standing in front of you, watching you warily. One looks like your average construction worker, while the other's a green skinned orc girl wearing ridiculous pauldrons and some sort of plate mail bikini that... frankly hurts to look at, like physics is murdering itself trying to cram a full suit of armor into a tank top and hot pants.

Right. First things first... actually, yeah, Tiff had the right idea- pleasantries- so you turn to Thravar. Hi, you're Urist, you and Tiff saved her ass from void monsters, and you own this fortress.

(Cont.)

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>>46278913
Thravar opens her mouth, closes it, and then has the good sense to look a little abashed as she /clearly/ forgot that you fucking saved her life. "H... hi," she murmurs, looking down at her feet.

You turn to Tiff, who's looking far too smug at Thravar's suffering, and give her your best withering glare because SOMEONE HERE also needs to be told that you own this goddamned fortress!

Tiff stammers, pushing her goggles up and revealing worried blue eyes. "Hah, uh, yeah, you see-"

You cut her off with a roar. And now that they BOTH know who owns this goddamned fortress, they should know that it's the /only/ thing standing between all of you and the unforgiving void! Filled with fairies and abyssal sharks and a goddamned ocean that comes whenever it damn well feels like it! So if they insist on blowing their loads in YOUR fortress-

"But- but we didn't!" Thravar protests weakly. She wilts under your glare, and the words come out in a rush. "I mean, we were underground, and the walls were thick enough, so-"

She squeaks as you grab her by the shoulderpad and drag her down to your level. No, you growl. Thravar has no idea what horrors lie beneath the earth, especially in your fortress. You'd charge an army of fairies and abyssals before facing down a forgotten beast, and if she and Tiff pull another stunt like this, then they'd damn well better be prepared to do the same because you'll chain them to the fucking front lawn and use them as /bait/!

You let go of Thravar and stand back, glancing back and forth between the two of them. The Warcrafter scowls, staring at the floor, while Tiff watches you, thin-lipped and looking worried. Reining in your temper, you clasp your hands behind your back and pace in front of them.

Look, you do not care one bit about their little grudge. If you had it your way, you'd let them beat each other black and blue, and grab the popcorn. Thing is, there's a time and a place for that shit, and this ain't it.

(Cont.)

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>>46278947
First, you've got a common enemy in Arfoire. Second, as far as you know, this is the only safe haven in the entire hyperdimensional void, and you lot aren't the only stranded adventurers from Gamindustri.

Twin sharp intakes of breath clearly indicate that THAT gets their attention. You stop pacing and cross your arms again. Long story short, stop fighting and get to fucking work already, because your fortress needs those defensive constructions more than their grudge does.

For a moment, Tiff and Thravar look at everything but you and each other. The Team Fortress meets your eyes first. "You know what, you got a point there," she drawls. "Sorry, Urist. This ain't no way to repay the help you gave me, back out in the void."

You nod sagely, letting out a breath as you cool your anger. Apology accepted. Just keep this shit under control, okay?

"Got it. Until we find Dao," Tiff says evenly. "Right, 'partner'?" She turns to the other adventurer, holding out her hand for Thravar to shake.

After a moment, Thravar carefully takes the Team Fortress's gloved hand, her lips curling around her small tusks. "Until we find Dao," the orc girl repeats. She shoots you a glance. "And... uh, sorry, Urist. For blowing up your cavern."

You watch as the two of them trudge off to opposite sides of the storeroom and start dismantling their weapons. You'd almost forgotten about the two goddesses, at least until they speak up.

"Nice job, Urist." Blanc steps up next to you, no longer holding her book; instead, she's got plain silk cloth draped over her shoulders. "I'm surprised you didn't just kick their asses three ways to Sunday," she adds helpfully.

Oh, were you ever tempted. But, yeah, thanks.

Nepgear nods, glancing at the girl who's technically her rival goddess and/or classic archenemy. "I was wondering the same thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was impressed with how you put those motherfuckers in their place, but-!"

(Cont.)

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>>46278978
Blanc shoots you a weary, long-suffering look. "Please refrain from teaching my fellow Gamindustri goddess to curse like a goddamned sailor," she pleads, either ignorant of or ignoring the irony. "Histoire has enough to deal with as it is. She won't last the week if she hears this."

You're a dwarf, not a goddamn miracle worker, but you'll see what you can do.

Nepgear blinks. "Huh? I'm... I'm cursing like a goddamned motherfucking sailor?" she murmurs, the foul language sounding even worse when coupled with her cute voice.

... right. You'll, uh, you'll talk to her about this later.

But first, because Mojang isn't nearly finished: renovations! You probably have time to properly build one thing. You'll get to the rest eventually, of course, but as to which of these is needed right off the bat:

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [BEDROOMS/FURNITURE] Because you can't imagine forcing three goddesses and five adventurers to sleep on the floor of your storeroom, and because separate sleeping spaces might help all these people live together without murdering each other.
[ ] [WINDMILLS] Because you have a little time before the void floods again, and because you can definitely use a good power source and/or rudimentary propulsion system that can move your fort through space. You don't want to wait until the next time the weather clears!
[ ] [DINING HALL/KITCHEN] Because making everyone eat off the floor like goddamned animals is a little much, and because they might balk at eating raw cave 'shrooms. A kitchen and still for biscuits and drink, and tables to eat at, and everyone will stay sane longer.
[ ] [HOSPITAL/WELL] Because you need a place for people to rest their heads if they're hurt, and because a fresh source of /water/ is probably necessary for emergencies and for general cleaning purposes.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46279004
[x] SHARKPET HOUSE ATTACHMENT

best sharky

he's still alive right?

>>46279004
>[ ] [BEDROOMS/FURNITURE] Because you can't imagine forcing three goddesses and five adventurers to sleep on the floor of your storeroom, and because separate sleeping spaces might help all these people live together without murdering each other.
[ ] [WRITE-IN] Make booze, lot's of booze for everyone.

>>46279004
>[X] [HOSPITAL/WELL] Because you need a place for people to rest their heads if they're hurt, and because a fresh source of /water/ is probably necessary for emergencies and for general cleaning purposes.
They can sleep in a hospital until bedrooms are made.

Most of them probably don't want to sleep alone, anyway.

>>46279004
>[ ] [BEDROOMS/FURNITURE] Because you can't imagine forcing three goddesses and five adventurers to sleep on the floor of your storeroom, and because separate sleeping spaces might help all these people live together without murdering each other.

Kitchen is a close second, but bedrooms are more important in my opinion.

>>46279004
>[ ] [HOSPITAL/WELL] Because you need a place for people to rest their heads if they're hurt, and because a fresh source of /water/ is probably necessary for emergencies and for general cleaning purposes.

>>46279004
>[ ] [BEDROOMS/FURNITURE] Because you can't imagine forcing three goddesses and five adventurers to sleep on the floor of your storeroom, and because separate sleeping spaces might help all these people live together without murdering each other.

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>46279004

[X] [HOSPITAL/WELL] Because you need a place for people to rest their heads if they're hurt, and because a fresh source of /water/ is probably necessary for emergencies and for general cleaning purposes.

[X] Mojang can work on bedrooms.

>>46279004
>[ ] [DINING HALL/KITCHEN] Because making everyone eat off the floor like goddamned animals is a little much, and because they might balk at eating raw cave 'shrooms. A kitchen and still for biscuits and drink, and tables to eat at, and everyone will stay sane longer.

It was either this or the Sleeping things and I think we can work on those at a later date. Also, good food is quite good at maintaining or raising moral.

>>46279004
>[x] [BEDROOMS/FURNITURE] Because you can't imagine forcing three goddesses and five adventurers to sleep on the floor of your storeroom, and because separate sleeping spaces might help all these people live together without murdering each other.
The first thing a fortress really needs is a set of beds!

>>46279057
Yup, Carp is still alive!

>>46279098
>[X] Mojang can work on bedrooms.
Yeah, after all, she makes beds of wood and wool instead of stone and menacing with spikes.

>>46279127
Add to this:
>[ ] Teach Nepgear the difference between normal words and curses and when CPU candidates may use them.
(Hint: Never, excepts as a Precision F strike against Endbosses.)

That can be done while we do our best to establish halfway decent eating and food.

>>46279004
[ ] [HOSPITAL/WELL] Because you need a place for people to rest their heads if they're hurt, and because a fresh source of /water/ is probably necessary for emergencies and for general cleaning purposes.

>>46279004
>[ ] [HOSPITAL/WELL] Because you need a place for people to rest their heads if they're hurt, and because a fresh source of /water/ is probably necessary for emergencies and for general cleaning purposes.

>>46279004
>[X] [BEDROOMS/FURNITURE] Because you can't imagine forcing three goddesses and five adventurers to sleep on the floor of your storeroom, and because separate sleeping spaces might help all these people live together without murdering each other.

>Bedrooms ->Kitchen ->Everything else

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>>46279004
>[ ] [write in] DEFENSES DEFENSES EVRYWERE

>>46279410
A dispenser for every room and a minisentry for every corner.

>>46279410
not dying first, comfort later

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>complete and consistent tie between Bedroom/Furniture and Hospital/Well

I... okay, I guess I can make this work! But first:

>Urist Twelfthbay builds shit!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: Again, the higher the better!

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>46279507

behold!

>>46279004
>[Well], then [Bedrooms] if time allows

Unlike us/dwarves, most people are able to stand up and hold their food while eating it, so that's not quite as vital. Water, on the other hand is not going to be easy to come by unless we pull out loopy physics to make a water source. After that, making sure we have enough bedrooms for any upcoming migrants (or rather, stranded adventurers) is probably a good idea.

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>46279507

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>46279507

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>46279507

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>46279507

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>46279507

>>46279507
Mojang can help!

>>46279507

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>46279507

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>46279547

>>46279514
Well, the rookie does something useful.
>>46279538
Well, 3 points better at the fourth place. Like Usuall.

>>46279593

Rookie?

>>46279593
hes not actually the rookie

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>46279507
[b] - [b], [q] - [r] - [+/-] - [a]
[b] - [l]

>>46279630
the rookie here can confirm

>>46279622
>>46279630

My bad then.

I wonder if someone will try to build Hyperdimesnion in Dwarf Fortress someday. I guess we would need a map or layout first, though, and Blorp's got enough to keep track of as is without needing to develop artistic talent too.

>>46279644
Only one bed? At least [ctrl + r] and [ctrl + p] that shit, son.

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>46279738
rolling for blorps artistic skill

>>46279821
Damn son. Blorp confirmed for next picasso.

>>46279507
Hey Blorp, you ever realize. Ogre Quest was suppose to be a Civ, but ended up more adventure-y and crazy then not.
This is suppose to be Adventure-y and shit, but is ending up more of a Civ.

>>46279874
Since this is DF we're talking about, I'd say Mondrian.

>>46279874
Sadly, Blorp operates under classic P&P rolling, meaning, rolling high is bad. So, he has the Ability of a very drunken ZUN.

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>46279931
best of three right?

>>46279903
One vote does not make it anywhere close to a civ.

>>46279781
You can't set building beds to repeat, just creating the beds at a workshop. I didn't include that step.

Also somehow I knew the second after I posted that someone would call me out for not crafting the beds before building them, you wonderful nerds.

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>46279955
lets see if I can get better

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>46279993

hm.

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You know, this would all go a lot faster if we had some actual dwarves around to dig and craft for us.

We should try summoning some. I mean, we've got three goddesses here to thrash any missummons. What's the worst that could happen?

>>46279955
That does only apply to /tg/ questrolls (At least good ones, or more than 3), but for reality it is one roll strike out.

>>46279964
Man, our entire goal this whole game was to civ it up. Every chance we've had we've defaulted to civving.

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>46280013
rolling for summons

>>46280042
No, every choice we've gone for advancing the character's goals. There's been very little (if any) civ gameplay in this quest.

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>>46280013

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>46280052
best out of 3

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>46280069
WTF

>>46280068
The character's goal is to civ.
Also, all of Urist's powers are based around civving. Every time we use her, we civ abit.

>>46280013
To be fair, last time we tried summoning shit we got nepgear.
I'd say go for it and hope we don't accidentally summon any genocidal shit since our power level is a crap shoot on the best of days.

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>>46280013

This would be one of the things that could happen.
Would not be a bad thing.

>>46280013
Yeah, we have a bunch of lazy chumps sitting around in the Arena with *No Job*, let's make them useful.

>>46280121
I don't think you really understand what civving means. We have done zero management. Any civ-like choice has no stats involved. There are no mechanics beyond rolling above the DC.

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>>46280145
pic of said genocidal shit

>>46279971
>not using macros
Son, I said ctrl+r, not pressing r

>>46280167
But what if we accidentally summon a noble.

>>46280193
Still civving.

>>46280199
>roll for dorfs
>get chara
NOPE!

>>46280199
Drakenguard-chan when.

>>46280220
Well, would have one punching bag wo explodes like a Pinata made of gore, blood and fat layers.

Or ammmunitions for na Noblepult/-bow/cannon/-rail.

>>46280220
Atomsmash, memorialize, and try again, obviously.

>>46280249
Darkest Dungeon-chan when?

>>46280199
Split personality is surprisingly common among personifications. Tiff, SS13, even the goddesses in a way.

>>46280249
When Hell has frozen over and the burning Heaven have fallen on the US glassing it in the process while the Hell of Needles is on the rest of the earth.

Why do you want so many of those unneccessary dark games? Just because you think you could get an Guts expy?

>>46280296
Quake-chan when?

>>46280249
>>46280296
>>46280360
all of you shut up

>>46280360
How about the Personification of
>Paraworld
or the personification of
>Sacred
?

>>46280378
wolfenstien-chan when

>>46280360
Diablo-chan when?

>>46280394
>>46280406
Oddworld-chan when?

I wonder if there are any online flash game adventurers.

>>46280218
I can never deal with the stress of running a fortress past a few years. Getting 30+ migrants at once always sends me running back to adventure mode. I've never actually created a metal weapon, much less set up macros.

>>46280448
hatfall-chan when

>>46280448
Wouldn't those just not be all just stuck in Limbo for eternity? Because, where else could you need them. (Except maybe Empires of Arkeia.)

>>46280469
I use the manager, can't into macros.
Just queue up a fuckton of beds whenever I feel low.
And migrant waves are much easier to deal with with therapist.

>>46280469
>>46280519
I usually keep my forts sub-50 to avoid mayors, sometimes sub-20 to avoid moods. Then I'll build up infrastructure and magma over the course of 2 years before re-enabling migration.

>>46280469
>accepting migrants
>not just leaving bare minimum embark supplies in a stockpile just outside the fortress and sealing the gates
>not forcing those filthy immigrants to build their own bloody fortress elsewhere on the plot
>not running a confederation of separate micronations linked by dedicated trading tunnels incapable of accommodating a dwarf

>>46280448
I think they have to be published in some way to be proper adventurers, hence why Urist has been so screwed up from the start - She's not really "done" or even halfway complete yet.

I guess this falls into the argument of what 'counts' as a game. Are Angry Birds, Paper Mario, Farmville, Zork, The Witcher, You Have To Burn The Rope, Call of Duty, and Kim Kardashian Dress-Up all part of the same vague category of "Video Games"?

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>>46280615
>there might be an entire clan of Meet'n'Fuck adventurers out there
>led by Slutty McSlut

>>46280448
They're probably out here in the Hyperdimension or something.

>>46280448
I think even Blorp would say if they existed, they'd be lumped together. None of those, on their own, could be a full adventurer.

There are a lot of things, that, on their own, just don't deserve to be an adventurer.

>>46280828
get out

>>46280848
So is that what the sparkly Will-o'-the-Wisps are? Trying to rip adventurers apart to get their features?

>>46280586
You have me intrigued. Got any pictures of that fort?

>>46280828
>Slutty McSlut
Jesus fuck m8, the memories.

>>46280586
Cargonia stronk?

>>46280828
More likely too be generic mooks too kill.

>>46280615
>I think they have to be published in some way to be proper adventurers, hence why Urist has been so screwed up from the start - She's not really "done" or even halfway complete yet.

That also explains Mojang when she first showed up in the extra posts. She was no where near functional then. Old school games had an advantage. There were often not the glorified Alpha and Beta testing you see now, instead demo games would be the first 15-25% of the game. Like Doom had the first 9 levels or so as shareware.

>I guess this falls into the argument of what 'counts' as a game. Are Angry Birds, Paper Mario, Farmville, Zork, The Witcher, You Have To Burn The Rope, Call of Duty, and Kim Kardashian Dress-Up all part of the same vague category of "Video Games"?

They are all video games, since it such a broad platform now.

Many old games in the 8-bit era were very simple but still had a 40 dollar purchase price. They were simpler and did less then a lot of the throw away phone games people hate.

Neptunia-chan when?

"M-mom?"
"...Eh?"

>>46280943
She's probably the One True Goddess, watching over this whole shitshow.

>>46280943
pardon?

>>46280979
Inception

>>46280999
BWOOOOOOM

>>46280943
I was going to say that surely Neptune counts as Neptunia, but now I'm far more interested in the metafictional possibilities that the personification of a video game series about personifications of video games series could cause. Thankfully, we're in a quest, so the chaos should be at least partly contained.

>>46281038
Blorpquest-chan when?

>>46280873
Damn, that got depressing.
>one of our first acts upon entering the Void was to violently abort dozens of unborn adventurers

>>46281056
when hell freezes over and dwarfs don't want alcohol buddy

>>46281038
... Hyperquest HDDFQ Quest, starring the anthromorphic personification of Hyperdimension Dwarf Fortress Quest as she adventures throughout Teegii when?

>>46279004
>>46279507
>[X] [BEDROOMS AND WELL]
>87...............
>GREAT!

You think for a few moments before turning to Blanc for some input. So... bedrooms, yes or no?

The goddess gives you a long, measuring look that, despite the lack of words, eloquently describes her thoughts on the matter, along with her assumption that bedrooms were a given. Either way, it immediately makes you regret asking that question, but not as much as her bland "yes, I would enjoy having a place to sleep for the night" before she goes back to reading her book.

... right. Clearly, you've been putting off sleeping quarters for long enough. While the storeroom is functional and safe, you can't imagine sleeping in the same room as a bunch of goddesses.

Hell, you can't even fathom sleeping in the same room as freaking /Neptune/, although in that instance, you'd be worried about going insane.

You tighten the straps of your liquid metal gauntlets before concentrating briefly. Immediately, the silvery alloy shimmers and reforms itself around your fist, a slender handle topped by a double-headed pick.

Grinning, you give it a test swing, shaking the rust off your Neptune-abused skills. Armok, you missed this thing. With the mileage you've gotten out of them, these gauntlets are seriously the best pieces of equipment you've ever bought, ever.

You're about to head down to the level you have in mind when the younger goddess of Sega flags you down.

"Oneechan?" Nepgear pokes her fingers together, sounding uncertain. "Can... can I help?"

You hesitate. If it was anyone else, you'd conscript them in a heartbeat, but... technically, she's less than one year old, so you can't, in good conscience, make her do that kinda back-breaking labor. Besides, you don't have any other picks right now.

When you tell her no, that somehow actually makes Nepgear deflate a little. "Then can I at least watch you work?"

Hm? Well, you don't see why not.

(Cont.)

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>>46281081
Would they find a poke in the eye to be a turn-on?

>>46281115
when ogre civ quest becomes sans

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>>46281149
True to her word, Nepgear sits against the far wall as you strike the earth, pulverizing walls into quantum dust and leaving behind the occasional rock boulder. The goddess seems happy enough just watching you work; you suppose she doesn't have anything better to do, unless she wants to pull out her mini-forge /again/.

Well, whatever floats her boat.

Eventually, though, you forget about her entirely as you focus single-mindedly on your task. Seriously, this whole project fulfills a need you've been neglecting for far too long, an itch you've all too successfully ignored. You /missed/ this sort of urban planning project. Eespite all the dust that cakes your hair and your skin, there's a grin on your face as you carve the rock into hallways, intersections, and properly-shaped chambers, your mind racing the whole way through.

Once you finish digging, you wipe the sweat from your brow and turn your liquid metal gauntlets back to normal, looking over your work.

... these bedrooms are pretty fucking intense.

It's a good thing you started on a lower z-level, because you've turned the entire floor into an apartment complex. What looks like a winding, whirling jumble of oddly-shaped cubicles and asymmetrical hallways is a carefully planned, perfectly geometrical honeycomb of equally-sized bedrooms. The whole setup is, if you can say so yourself, a real solid mix of aesthetics and functionality that would be otherwise impossible in a standard human building.

You've built two to four rooms to a cluster, with sixteen clusters in total. The rooms themselves are a lavish four squares each, with a space each for a bed, cabinet, and chest, and there's even room to stand up without having to stand on furniture. There're six intersecting hallways, with small 'plazas' at each of the nine intersections. There are plenty of places for decorations and statues once you find the time for that.

(Cont.)

>>46281056

Blast it, you stole my joke.
>>46281115

>YFW HDDFQ-chan teams up with Oversized Weapon Quest-chan and takes over the world through the sheer power of implausibly powerful tiny girls

>>46281195
The best part is, you won't even have to rely on quantum fortress physics that would break peoples' brains, like multi-entrance doors or entrance-less rooms.

You let out a slow, satisfied breath, flicking your braids back over a shoulder. /Damn/, you're good.

... although it's a little embarrassing when you've got a captive audience, staring at you like you're building a Basilicom with nothing but your bare hands.

"That was amazing, oneechan!" Nepgear claps her hands, looking at the bedrooms with undisguised fascination. "You were digging so /fast/! How long have you been planning these rooms for?"

... nnghk. Feeling uncomfortable at the praise, you wipe self-consciously at your face, trying to smudge off some of the dirt. Er, no, you just sort of came up with it on the spot.

"You did?" Her eyes widen further. "Wow... that's REALLY fucking incredible!" She doesn't seem to notice you wincing at that casual slip. "One of these days, you'll-"

(Cont.)

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>>46281226
Nepgear suddenly starts coughing, her face scrunching up at the rock dust floating around. "Sorry, oneechan... um, do you have something to drink?" she croaks, covering her mouth.

You're just about to reach into your inventory for a flask when a realization hits you, dropping the bottom out of your stomach.

People don't drink booze to survive.

They drink /water/.

Three goddesses and four other adventurers are living in this fortress, and you don't have a single drop of water indoors. When the ocean floods the outside area, there will be nothing to drink BUT booze.

... shit. You needed a well /yesterday/.

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [SURFACE POOL] Drain a surface pool, pump the stagnant water through a purifier, and connect the resulting reservoir to a well. Water will be limited, though, and refilling it will be dependent on the surface not being shitty.
[ ] [MOJANG] Have her make a reservoir of water from her buckets. Quick and relatively easy... hopefully. Y'know, if you're careful enough, it might not cause horrible clashing physics problems.
[ ] [CAVERNS] Punch back through to the cavern level and look for a safer source of water; you know it's down there, but you'll need to do some searching. The most time-consuming, but once you get it set up, this will be by far the safest method.
[ ] [LATER] The well can wait until later. Focus on building something else first.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46281259
>[ ] [CAVERNS] Punch back through to the cavern level and look for a safer source of water; you know it's down there, but you'll need to do some searching. The most time-consuming, but once you get it set up, this will be by far the safest method.

Fuck the easy way! Rely on the dice. When have they ever let us down?

>>46281259
>[ ] [CAVERNS] Punch back through to the cavern level and look for a safer source of water; you know it's down there, but you'll need to do some searching. The most time-consuming, but once you get it set up, this will be by far the safest method.
We can keep an eye out for Doomgirl too.

>>46281259
>[ ] [MOJANG] Have her make a reservoir of water from her buckets. Quick and relatively easy... hopefully. Y'know, if you're careful enough, it might not cause horrible clashing physics problems.
>[ ] [CAVERNS] Punch back through to the cavern level and look for a safer source of water; you know it's down there, but you'll need to do some searching. The most time-consuming, but once you get it set up, this will be by far the safest method.
Mojang for quick fixitnow and the caverns for actual problem solving.

>>46281259
>[x] [CAVERNS] Punch back through to the cavern level and look for a safer source of water; you know it's down there, but you'll need to do some searching. The most time-consuming, but once you get it set up, this will be by far the safest method.

Rolled 100: Booze fountain
Rolled 1: Unleashed FUN

>>46281195
>four spaces per room
>any amount of separate walls
>everything is smoothed but not engraved

Pleb/10

>>46281259
>[MOJANG]
I think the way our water works and the way her water works should be close enough for a well to work. Just make sure the well isn't over the source blocks and it should be infinite.

>>46281259
Don't we have fruits and shit?

Can't we like, juice that for people?

>>46281259
>[ ] [CAVERNS] Punch back through to the cavern level and look for a safer source of water; you know it's down there, but you'll need to do some searching. The most time-consuming, but once you get it set up, this will be by far the safest method.

Let's find an Aquifier and harvest/drain it.

>>46281259
>[ ] [MOJANG] Have her make a reservoir of water from her buckets. Quick and relatively easy... hopefully. Y'know, if you're careful enough, it might not cause horrible clashing physics problems.
>[ ] [CAVERNS] Punch back through to the cavern level and look for a safer source of water; you know it's down there, but you'll need to do some searching. The most time-consuming, but once you get it set up, this will be by far the safest method.

Temp bucket for immediate thirst, well for potential forgotten beast

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>>46275809
Hopefully never. We don't need Urist becoming everyone's stepsister.

>>46281259
>[ ] [CAVERNS]
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
By abusing floor grates and the means by which flow operates, we can effectively use any water source in the cavern while negating the effect of building destroyers.

Can confirm, if you set up the pressure right, the water paths upwards through a forbidden floor grate, thereby creating a sealed reservoir through which water can enter but even the most stubborn building destroyer may not.

>>46281259
>[X] [MOJANG] Have her make a reservoir of water from her buckets. Quick and relatively easy... hopefully. Y'know, if you're careful enough, it might not cause horrible clashing physics problems.

>>46281259
>[ ] [WRITE-IN] when the overworld floods make a hole above a well "what can go wrong"

>>46281327
Well, we want a well for something that people can drink who haven't got the Alk res as Dwarf or Europeans in the Medieval times. so a Beer/Booze Well is counterproductive.

>>46281259
>[ ] [MOJANG] Have her make a reservoir of water from her buckets. Quick and relatively easy... hopefully. Y'know, if you're careful enough, it might not cause horrible clashing physics problems.

>>46281384
This.

>>46281259
>[X] [MOJANG] Have her make a reservoir of water from her buckets. Quick and relatively easy... hopefully. Y'know, if you're careful enough, it might not cause horrible clashing physics problems.

If we make it big enough, it can be an infinite source of water. We just have to. . . not question it, and let her physics have sway over the water.

Since we don't drink the vile stuff, that should be easy enough to do.

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>46281327

>>46281414
It'll be the best thing to ever happen to Urist but not really useful to others. Hehehehe

>>46281259
>[x] [CAVERNS] Punch back through to the cavern level and look for a safer source of water; you know it's down there, but you'll need to do some searching. The most time-consuming, but once you get it set up, this will be by far the safest method.

>>46281259
>[X] [MOJANG] Have her make a reservoir of water from her buckets. Quick and relatively easy... hopefully. Y'know, if you're careful enough, it might not cause horrible clashing physics problems.

>all this talk of inception and personifications of the original Neptunia series showing up in this quest

TOO MUCH INCEPTION, ANON

>>46281336
She's making allowances for non-dwarf sensibilities, anon! (The smoothing and engraving will come later.)

>>46281346
If Urist tried that at the still- the one workshop she has that can process drinks- she'd do everything exactly right, and all the drinks would SOMEHOW still have alcohol in it.

>>46281384
Huh. Whenever I use cavern water sources for a well, I always just create a reservoir, punch a hole in the side of the source, and use a drawbridge to stop up or restart the flow of water when needed.

>>46281523
>If Urist tried that at the still- the one workshop she has that can process drinks- she'd do everything exactly right, and all the drinks would SOMEHOW still have alcohol in it.
Amazing.

>>46281259
>[X] [MOJANG] Have her make a reservoir of water from her buckets. Quick and relatively easy... hopefully. Y'know, if you're careful enough, it might not cause horrible clashing physics problems.

Hooray! Accidentally flooding the fortress is one of the oldest DF traditions there is!

>>46281523
>If Urist tried that at the still- the one workshop she has that can process drinks- she'd do everything exactly right, and all the drinks would SOMEHOW still have alcohol in it.

That sucks hard. Seriously, some Races will die if they ingest alcohol.

Right, looks like... [MOJANG] and [CAVERNS] are completely tied, although some of the [MOJANG] votes are for a quick fix rather than a permanent solution. Writing!

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So we're busy building the fortress instead of going after Arfoire.
Not that I mind, but I'm worried what Angry Heart will do once she finishes her book.

>"Mojang, come here. I need you to get me wet"
>EEEEEHHHHHH?!?!
>lily rank soars

>>46281579
...Your wording made me miss something, and I wasn't sure what... And then I remembered Estelle talking about following behind the party leader being tradition.
>TFW Ester is still missing on Easter
>I mean, Estelle is still missing on Eastelle

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>>46281752

>>46281811
>Nepgear get jealous
>Neptune compliments you on grinding the Lilly Rank to max that quickly

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>>46281833
WHAT THE FUCK.
VERT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU MONSTER.

>>46281752
Hey, she's the one that wanted bedrooms.

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>>46281811
>>46281835
But Urist's and Mojang's lily rank is already max.

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>>46281876
That wasn't Vert.

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>>46281927

>>46281752
Well, she knows that you need a proper base of operations if you want to be able to deal with Arfoire. And we don't have the Luxury that we have 4 of those basicly being prebuild.

So, the first thing that Blanc will do is saying something in her usual deadpan and eventually helping us with her Hammer (Or is it stuck in Axe mode. Or did she never had an Axe in this Quest?) building. (Que Blanc building like in the "Age of" Series usw.)

>>46281902
Maximum max.
Double max.
Supermax.
New Max+.
Post-Panamax.
MEGAMAX.

>>46281927
>>46281969
Disgusting.
Be natural, Blanc.

Be angry at everything and threatens everyone with violence.

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>>46281998
You forgot the higest rank: *picture name*

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>>46281833
>>46281927
>>46281969

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>>46282060
>dat indecent stamen

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>>46282054
>>46282110

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>>46282130
Say, did Blanc notice our jiggle when Neptune was in Urist's body and wearing nothing but underwear?

>>46281833
>>46281927
>>46281969
I'm a little freaked out. What's the context here?
Don't tell me there's a canon Neptunization/mindswap...?

>>46282130
[x] Apply water to the burned area.

>>46281523
>drawbridge and reservoir
A simple and elegant solution, but vulnerable to tantruming lever pullers (although with the influence of alcohol in 0.42.06, it's difficult to have tantrums even if you tried). Furthermore, it introduces a human factor to the equation, which is greater room for error. Much better to have a floor grate to block access.

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>>46282155
Nep U/Nepgear rising

It is a charade for popularity.

>>46282155
I would rather bet on: Localization Team were little shits again.

>>46282193
That's amazing, actually. And makes worrying sense. They need popularity/shares for power, and Blanc is usually either quiet or murdermode. Fantastic.

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>>46282202
I really want to know what was actually being said during most of these scenes. Granted, they are funny as hell.

>>46282271
Learn Japanese or hope that the Fan Translations keep happening.

So something I've been wondering: what drew you all to this quest? Hyperdimension Neptunia, Dwarf Fortress, Blorp, or just idle curiosity?

I came for Dwarf Fortress, stayed for the "game personifications with glitches and powers based on their series" setting. I hadn't heard of Neptunia before this quest.

>>46282300
Yaay, another unstable piece of shit that will make the game crash.

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>>46282314
Neptunia.

>>46282314
I saw it on the front page while looking for KCQ one night.
Came in for dorf fort

>>46282314
DF and distant hopes of Ogres.

>>46282314
Idle curiosity and the booze-driven anger of the openings.

>>46282314
honestly, Dorf fortress as well as little girls being the personification of shit being alcoholic glitchy shits appealed to me because of the revivalization of 8 bit dystopia at the time the quest started.
it was basically just this quest starting at the exact right time for me.

>>46282271
100% accurate, literal translation

>>46282314
DF and blorp in equal measure, I was barely aware of neptunia.

>>46282314
Well, the mix between Hyperdimension and Dwarf Fortress brought me here, and the same keeps me here, well, that and additionally Blorp. The latter also brought me to read trough the entire Ogre Quest.

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>>46282314
Blorp mostly, though now because of this quest I have re;birth 1-3 on my computer.

>>46282314
All of them, I guess.
Blorp is a good QM, so I followed that.
Neptunia is interesting, I'd heard about it before this.
DF is something I would never play but enjoy a good storytime of.

It all combined together to form Voltron. Or a Quest. One of those two.

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>>46282314
The cuteness of the Neptunia world mixed with the hilariousness of Dwarf Fortress.

If it was anything else, I don't think I would be up at 5AM to read it.

I'm going back to bed a soon as it's over.

>>46282314
Blorp. This was the follow-up to Ogre Civ, so I followed it even though I had no idea what Neptunia was.

... I've seen been introduced to the king of kusoge. I regret everything.

>>46282453
since been*

Typing is hard yo

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>46282314

I'm a member of the DF forums and I've been with blorp since... EVO, I think.

I'd passingly heard of hyperdimension but didn't relaly know what it was.

I still sorta don't! I have a hard time telling what some of the names are for.

>>46282527
Blanc = best girl.
Vert = thundertits.
Noire = tryhard.
Neptune = the mememaster
IF = a girl with chuuni delusions.
Compa = a nurse with a spanking fetish.
There, you know the main characters.

>>46282558
Well, IF is a Kuudere.
Compa and spanking fetish? Must have missed thos while I was watching Playtrough trough the 3 Playstation games and playing trough the remakes.

>>46281259
OTHER: Df HACK Scripts liquids Water:7:point in a small channel we dig down 1 z level, designate that shit water source with a well over it. HELL YES I CAUGHT ONE LIVE AGAIN bewen 20 threads

>>46282605
That would be Noire. She's always going on about her image as a cool big sister, but when she's alone, she cosplays.
Dunno where the spanking thing comes from with Compa, but I guess it comes from her attack in the first game.

>>46282617
too bad you voted late

>>46282629
That isn't spanking, that is full blown slap-feasting.

>>46281523
I use flood gates my self, though I supose those could be broken at some point, have nto had it yet though.

>>46282646
I said I guessed.

>>46282644
I have not seen a concrete " you decide to do this" from blorp with a roll for an action. Hes gonna make us roll to make a water source...it would just be undwarfly if we DIDnt have something horrible fuck with us while we attempt to make useable water from a cave source

>>46282703

>>46281727
>Writing!

>>46282703
>>46281727
>Writing!

>>46282202
So you're a moron. Good to know that the fanpatch drones are idiots.

>>46282155
She's trying to act cute because reporters are writing a paper on them. Everyone calls her out on it, with Vert saying it was creepy.

>>46282744
>>46282741
thank you faggots I can see that now. Ahhh I wish we would make more use of DF hack, its got so much !!!FUN!!! potential yet so little is it used.

>>46282764
I've completely forgotten because it's been like a year, but I'm pretty sure we don't have most of the !!fun!! commands for it unlocked.

>>46282703
Well, it will, either be flooding, more spiders, more corrupted spiders, more corrupted spiders who try to corrupt the aquifiers or all aquifiers are corrupted by more corrupted spiders and spawning even more corrupted spiders. Oh, almost forgot: Accidental forgotten beasts and Hidden Fun Stuff. And Angels. Maybe a Greater Trap Elemental who is like Elmar Fud.

>>46282764
>putting Nepgear in danger
Fuck you faggot.

>>46282850
she would be in MORE danger if we dagger her into the cave or we broke physics and caused bits of the floor to disappear or blow up or something else !!!FUN!! . >>46282792
all of that sounds like a regular work out for Urist though.

>>46281259
>[X] [MOJANG] Quick fix water source!
>[X] [CAVERNS] Straight-up well!

Jeez. Having your own fortress full of suicidally inept dwarf minions is one thing, but there's a hell of a lot more pressure when all your residents are either on your level or so far above your level that they might as well be divine.

Anyway, you didn't summon Nepgear out of thin air just for her to die of thirst, so you hustle her up toward Mojang. You're glitching in a glitch fortress in glitchsville, so cludging together a well from two different laws of physics is probably a one-way, never-ending ride to fucksville, population: everybody.

You find the Minecrafter easily enough; you just have to follow the sounds of running water, splashing, and Neptune bubbling repeatedly.

"Ah, oneechan!" Mojang waves you over to her perpetual motion-based endless waterfall cobbled together from strategically-placed stone blocks and one bucket of water. She'd poured her bucket against a wall tile, causing an endless font of water to fall into a makeshift pool that's just four cobblestone blocks arranged so as to prevent flooding.

The water never stops pouring. The water never overflows.

Recognizing an incoming headache-slash-existential-crisis, you tear your eyes away from the water, glancing at Neptune. Eyes squeezed shut, the goddess is standing directly underneath the flow, constantly drenched by a flood of ice-cold water pouring down over her head. Every few seconds, Mojang tilts Neptune forward, allowing the shivering goddess to breathe while simultaneously pinning her in place.

You see absolutely nothing wrong with this setup, since you're underground and there's no danger of the water suddenly freezing and encasing the poor sod in ice. Heck, Mojang's used this a few times on you, back when your wells and/or buckets were bugged as all hell and you couldn't get a bath (and also when she needed you to cool your heels).

(Cont.)

So what kind of treasure cube abilities do you think our friends have gotten over time, like, say, Mojang? The way the cubes translate game mechanics or quicks into speical abilities is always really cool.

>>46283154
Hang on, so Neptune snapped out of HDD?

>>46283154
"She'll be stone cold sober in a few more minutes," Mojang informs you cheerfully, ignoring Nepgear's increasingly worried speechlessness. "How did everything go?"

You scratch your head, considering. Well, Tiff and Thravar aren't going to kill each other until later, so that's one problem down. Also, we have bedrooms now.

"Good! Honestly, I was kind of worried-" The redhead trails off, giving you a /look/. "They aren't the usual three-tile pillboxes, are they?"

You sputter a little. Of course not. They're four tiles!

Mojang scrunches her face up, but she doesn't push the point, instead nodding reluctantly. "Mm, it's a start!"

... well, she did always prefer big fancy rooms that can go all the way up to, like, 10x10 or some insane number. You've both agreed to disagree, though, so you smoothly move on. Anyway, we sort of have a water problem in this fortress-

"Oh! Don't worry, oneechan, I've been taking care of it!" Mojang interrupts you cheerfully. There's a panicked sputtering sound as she pushes Neptune back under the waterfall. "I've been leaving buckets of water in the storeroom, and we should have enough to drink until we get a well up and running!"

You open your mouth. After a moment, you close it again, chuckling ruefully. Damn, your surrogate little sister is always one step ahead of you, huh?

"Someone has to be! C'mon, oneechan."

Mojang leans down a little, arms behind her in a pose you've come to recognize. Your eyebrow twitches a little, and you glance around in slight embarrassment, but- shit, she's earned this. So with a sigh, you reach up and pat her on the head, pushing her hood back just enough to ruffle her short red hair. Thanks for covering for you. And, y'know. Good job.

"Eheheh~."

A slight squeaking sound makes you glance over. Nepgear's covering her red face with her hands, her fingers spread just wide enough to let her peek out.

... really. Really? We're really doing this? It's just headpatting!!

(Cont.)

>>46283154
"I can't help it!" Nepgear stammers bashfully. "This is very high-level play, isn't it? I mean, with how long you've known each other-"

Wha- how does she even know about how long you've known- wait, what's Mojang been telling her!?

"Nothing at all!" Mojang replies, her gaze sliiiiding away from yours.

You run your hand down your face, thinking back to that little whispered conversation between Mojang and Nepgear not too long ago. Armok save you from the machinations of little sisters, you... you're just, y'know, going to go make a goddamn well now, okay? C'mon, Nepgear.

As your two surrogate little sisters wave each other goodbye- fucking hell, you have TWO of them, that's absolutely insane when you stop to think about it- you make your way down to the cavern levels, easily finding Mojang's cobblestone stopgap. You'll fill it back in when you return, of course, and you'll put in a drawbridge later. For now, though, you dig through Mojang's temporary blockade with ease.

The first cavern layer lies before you. Seen through properly dwarven eyes, it's even more beautiful than before, the colorful sights augmented by the little audio and scented cues that you couldn't pick up while in Neptune's body. Head held high, you make your way through the mosses and the underground trees, making sure Nepgear stays close.

Above you, a cave sparrow man flits by, his spear held proudly in clawed hands; the sight fills you with a strange sense of relief. You /wondered/ where he went.

Soon enough, you're in new territory, rounding a bend that prevented you from seeing the rest of the cavern when you last visited. Immediately, you wince a little; Tiff and Thravar's battle damage is /completely/ visible, going by the black scorch marks and craters gouging out the mud and stripping it of its moss.

(Cont.)

>>46283163
Man, I should have known right when I try to make some discussion while we wait, Blorp would post the next update!

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>>46283207
Even now, though, the underground ecosystem is fighting back and taking no prisoners. Already, saplings poke through the scorched earth, and mosses are creeping back across the empty mud in fuzzy fitful patches.

Inside one of the largest, deepest craters, another one of Mojang's temporary blockades is clearly visible. That'd be the entrance to the second cavern layer, then. And across from /that/ is that water source you've sensed ever since you first breached this layer-

>You have discovered a magma pool.

... huh.

Well, okay, you're looking at an underground lake, filled with perfectly ordinary bluish-green water. From one of the cavern walls, a constant flow of water ensures that the cistern remains... reasonably fresh, if a little muddy.

Immediately next to the cistern- and separated by a fairly thin layer of dirt- is a pool of bubbling magma, casting a soft glow around the surrounding area. The parts of the cistern nearest to the magma is almost bubbling, heated to something close to a boil.

"Goodness!" Nepgear makes to walk closer to the magma pool, but you pull her back. She's content to goggle at this strange natural phenomenon from where you're all standing. "Are all lakes like this, oneechan? ... oneechan?"

Realization slowly dawns on you, and you run a hand down your face. No. No fucking way. Sure, you created your fortress in Gamindustri, but there's no way that the universe's laws could be so goddamn capricious as to-

"Holy crackers!" Somehow, while you're distracted, a soaking wet Neptune slides up right next to you and places a sopping hand on your shoulder. "Great job, Urist! This is the /perfect/ place to have a hot springs episode! I'll call Blanc and everyone else down here immedi-"

>Urist Twelfthbay is throwing a tantrum!

"Wah! N-Nepgear, help me hold her downOOF."

"Oneechan!? Oneechaaaaaan!"

[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]

>>46283185
She did last thread, after we switched bodies back

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>>46283231
Well this will be something

>>46283231
Eheheheheheh being Urist is suffering. And the sooner she realizes that suffering is losing and losing is fun, the happier she'll be.
At least everyone's already seen us mostly naked when Neptune was running around as us, right...?

Thanks for running, Blorp!

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Okay, it's getting pretty late and my writing is balling out of control, so I'm gonna call it here for the night!

We'll have the next thread on WEDNESDAY, 3/30, at about 9-ish pm EST! I'll post updates to scheduling at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest.

Thanks for participating, guys! And also for the debates, goddamn I love all this discussion going on. Although we appear to have lost large chunks earlier in the thread, haha. Catch you guys next thread!

After next thread, though, I'll have to take a 2-week break, due to my schedule going absolutely fucking bonkers until halfway through April. I should have more details later, but just to let you guys know first.

G'night!

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>>46283207
>cave sparrow man

I'm sure you meant a cave swallow man

>>46283327
Wait, how'd we lose chunks?

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>>46283327
>After next thread, though, I'll have to take a 2-week break, due to my schedule going absolutely fucking bonkers until halfway through April.

>>46283327
>After next thread, though, I'll have to take a 2-week break
How will you give us Ogres on April 1st if you're on break, Blorp?

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MEANWHILE
IN PLANEPTUNE