>"HA! Is that the best you can do!? My great grandmother hits harder than you meatbags!"
>>46244963How do boxing skeles even work
>>46246152Worldwide Minimumweight champions
>>46244963You will not stop me, not now!I am the bone of my Fist,Calcium is my body and milk is my blood.I have been raised over a thousand times.Unknown to Death, nor known to Life.Have withstood criticism to make many bone puns.Yet these puns will never be humerus.So as I pray, Unlimited Bone Works.
>>46246386I got snot on my knuckles and my elbow slipped off the desk laughing
>>46244963would he be [Spoiler] SKELTERWEIGHT [/Spoilers] ?
>>46244963Go fetch her then. Maybe she'll actually be a more interesting fight. With the way that you're swinging, it's like someone gouged your eyes out.
>>46246593You don't know what you're up against, boy.
>>46248635Do you have enough skeleton jokes to stop me, Papa Bones?
>>46248299Oh we got a wise guy over here boys
I always wanted to play a skeleton necromancer PC character in pathfinder or DnD, but my DMs always just say no, there can't be an intelligent skeleton.
>>46249349Tell them their own skeletons are smart enough to cart their fat asses around, so why the fuck not?
>>46249349There are multiple skeletal undead that are intelligent.
>>46249349obitu is a race, its a kind of parasite that lives inside undead skeletons. they are living creatures.
Why is /tg/ so obsessed with skeletons?
>>46252926They are everything we want to be.Skeletons had cast off all the superfluous features.They are not subject to the whims of flesh and everything that comes with it. They do not fear death, and they don't need to struggle for survival.Skeleton is basically a perfect creature. Regardless of your race, sex, age, species - when you die there can only be two things left - either nothing at all, or a skeleton.All skeletons are created equal, because all are equal before the face of death.Skeletons can still be destroyed, because they are a physical object, but they are as close as we can come to perfection without shedding physical form entirely and ascending.In the words of Eric Idle, "And that's death".https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9pQUKV9MuM
>>46252926>Why is [the internet] so obsessed with skeletons?Fixed
>>46252926Because we are all skeleton Skeleton is us
>>46252926They killed my family.
Says the guy with literally 0 muscle mass.
>>46252926Because, Anon...You are a skeleton. You just haven't realised it yet.
>>46252926Skeletons could still play games.Also, since they don't need to sleep they could shitpost constantly
>>46257672What the fuck
>>46257672Wouldn't having all those tiny bones compared to larger bones be terrible for structure and shit? I'd be amazed if something like this didn't just collapse under it's own weight the moment it was birthed.
>>46257672The thing that bothers me the most about that pic is the ear bone.
>>46259483anyone played a skellington as a PC? it's pretty much all I do. I literally can't stop. I work it into every game I play, every group. I'm prolly a that guy but IDEC.>MFW I'll do whatever it takes, be it backstory, setting rationalization, feats and rules lawyering, etc>MFW been doing it for over a year>MFW playing a lawyer in a victorian magical setting named Gerald C(lavicle) Sternumstein as we speak
>>46261417 >MFW I've played a warrior, a wizard, a bum, an engineer in a space opera, a bard, a cleric, a physical adept, a policemen, a superhero and a science officer>all skeletons
>>46261592>MFW I vary my roleplay quite a bit, sometimes I'm A dick, sometimes a pun machine, sometimes a gregarious (if somewhat misunderstood) nice guy, sometimes I'm a dirty old man, sometimes I'm a grizzled veteran, sometime's i'm a tenderfoot trying to act like I have a shred of competency>still always a skeleton
>>46257672>im on a mobile and can't reverse search this imagebefore you ask, I'm on BlackBerry, already checked around for a way to do itLife is suffering, can someone give me the source?
>>46261417>play skeleton>misdirection and bluff>convince people you're the Grim Reaper
>>46261644One of my better campaigns:>FOAF introduced to one of my groups>mostly new players, really just there as a favor to DM to introduce group to roleplay>roll up a skeleton as always, playing drill sergeant, ex-legionnaire sellsword. >Wearing full plate with mask>stealthmode.svg>meet party in a cave system swarming with gobbos> they save my ass from a bugbear>thanks for thowing me a bone>everyone having a good time, I'm getting everyone to open up and start getting onto the RP>turns out I've created a monster in doing so>one of them starts playing their rogue like an edgelord >dark past, moral ambivalence, tries to derail to get the spotlight constantly, contrary for no reason for muh anti-hero reasons, the works>starts to detract from everyone else's experience>I've got a bone to pick with you>when he tries to go into snowflake diatribes and such, go out of my way to get the game back on track>bandits jump party, we turn the tables, have them hogtied>edgerogue immeditely slits one's throat before we can get any info>I don't find this humerus>start talking about how his Char's dad was a bandit that raped his mom or some such nonsense to rationalise unnecessary slaughter>"I could give a shit, grow a spine and take responsibility">gauntlet slap the shit out of him to stop the jaw flapping, get relevant info out of bandits and let them go>Player tones it down after that, think problem is solved>Still give him a gentle ribbing every now and again>note that my character 'sleeps' in his plate and helmet, never takes it off, so no one know i'm a skeleton yet. play him like enough of a crazy old man that no one questions this>something is wrong one night>can feel it in my bones>rogue sneaks into tent, thinks im asleep, and not eternally watching> slides dagger in between breastplate andmail on my "underarm">DM: no damage>oh boy are you boned now son>grab his wrist>flip up visor
>>46252926Because I am inside one, and it is inside me.
>>46261950Baki- Son of Ogre
>>46261974This is beautiful
>>46261970Implying I haven't>>46261974>>46261970>>46261970>Implying I haven't done this>>46261974cont.>> I shit you not, the DM spontaneously scrawls down like a paragraph (prolly because he was just as tired of this guys shit as we all were at this point) passes note to rogue player. his face was priceless.>note was basically detailed description of my empty sockets looking at him disapprovingly>mind you I'm not playing a minmaxed or overpowered character, I'm just a skeleton with experience on is side>he rolls opposed check for grapple and the house-ruled fear system we use, fails both>"what's wrong boy, you look a bit RATTLED">wrassle him out of tent into the center of camp>he's furiously stabbing, with little to no effect>hold him down and beat him unconscious with my righteous bony fists while spouting pent-up skelet-one-liners>truss him like a turkey, by this point the other PCs are awake wondering what's going on> at max fear it becomes difficult to do anything effectively with our system> visor is down before anyone else is the wiser>"edgerogue tried to gut me in the night. the thick skulled bastard thought he could get away with it" >wink at Player>rogue starts screaming abt how im an evil demon, not to trust me, etc>"how pathetic. now he's trying to weasel his way out of this"> party has no reason to suspect me given this douche canoe's track record> "I'm a nice man, so i'll give you a choice. you can opt to hang at the next town for being stupid enough to attempt murder around so many witnesses, or I take your things, I take your gold, and I take your right hand. afterwards you'll take the vow of poverty at the nearest monastery. My old bones will rest easy either way.">Player pleads with DM OOC and complains of unfairness in equal measure>DM: you tried to kill him, you should have known this was a possibility>My skull when he leaves play sesh in a huff and the group is happy to detour to the nearest gallows
>>46262321I've got plenty more if you guys are interested
>>46262321So. Zoggin'. Cool. Yes. More.
>>46244963>you finnaly beat him rattling his bones"GREAT GRANDMAMA HELP!">a giant burning warlord skeleton come in"I told you you're no match for my great grandma!"
>>46249349My love of skeletons came back to bite me, it is what got me to start reading this book series, and while it starts off good it turns into some terrible stuff with anime-tier power level bullshit and horrible characters taking over the plot including multiple evil dopplegangers or evil superpowered alternate personalities of the teenage girl main character (she also cheats on her boyfriend with a vampire just to set up a number of easy jokes at Twilight).
>>46262321>wink at Player...h....how?
>>46262578Thats too bad. I read the first few, and always meant to come back to it.I stopped right after he basically got kidnapped by Cthulu and she thought it was a good idea to go looking for it. Is it worth reading more?
>>46262625No, thats a pretty good place to end things, the stuff I mentioned comes later as he tries to escalate his escalations.
>>46262581Greetings from /co/
>>46261417>>46261592>>46261644>>46261974>>46262321cont.>adventuring goes on as usual of a while. kid playing the edgerogue is BTFO by choice and his absence is felt in the best way>local 2-bit noble gets wind of our exploits, wants us to help him take back some ancestral moors from the gobbos>"OK, but we'll need a bit more muscle. and make sure they have guts, too">" HA! I used to train militias. I'd break them and they'd heal up stronger">"I retired because i just didn't have the stomach for it any longer">DM tries to hide smirk as I negotiate a retainer with skele-jokes, lost on everyone else, in and out of character> so we hire a few mooks to help us scout out the area, get supplies, kit, etc. >turns out the gobbos are organized at the direction of a group of orcs> they've whipped them into shape, and set them to building a wooden fort and getting dug in>Fucking orks man. what a pain in the coccyx.>god thing I was in charge of getting our kit>this is a lowish magic setting, there aren't just wizards summoning shotguns and leaving them everywhere>only kings and up can afford their services anyway>when magic isn't an option, the best choice is always explosives.>I've got a load of blasting jelly from the town's discount alchemist and apothecary packed in the bottom half of several barrels labeled "rum," sealed with pitch of course>we find out where they're raiding mostset up extra wagon loaded with the "rum" with a few tens and a campire right in a raiding party's path>they take the bait>if I had a snake it would be as solid as the rest of me at this sabotage>we know their booze stockpile is near the south wall of the fort, next to the orks' quarters and food stores>left over blasting gel goes into the hands of several mooks, lions share to barbarian.>nightfall. party is nervous. tel them not to let it rattle their cages> operation reaper is a-go
>>46262581haha not a skeleton IRL (yet...)
>>46262748You have realized what I have yearned to play for long years now.I love you.no homo
>>46248711I have a skele-ton.
>>46262781>Implying I wouldn't skele-fuck you tenderly anywayremember anon, there's a skeleton in all of us, you just have to let it out <3>>46261417>>46261592>>46261644>>46261974>>46262321>>46262748> first break of dawn, I give the signal>Barbarian takes second crate loaded down with blasting jelly, lights the fuse, and rolls it at the fort's gate> Mooks sling bombs or shoot arrows tipped with blasting gel filled coinpurses over the walls> draws out majority of gobbos> just as planned> I use this distraction to smuggle myself, our monk and our ranger over the south wall as mook squad retreats to cover of the forest> ranger sets to work setting fire to the food stores while the cleric does the same for the walls and barracks> I go to the booze, as I my minimum sage distance is naturally a bit shorter. > because, you now, I'm a skeleton. no organs to rupture. that's the joke.>find my marked barrels, stick a fuse in, and torch it. >we high tail it out, only to encounter a lone orc warchief on our retreat.>"YOU'LL BE MEAT FOR THIS YOU SCUM!">No I won't. teehee>"sorry to dissapoint you greenskin" I shout as I take a running tackle> I'm as beefy as a skeleton plan be. lore reason for the full plate is that in life I was large and strong, ant it's the only way I can throw my weight around. regardless. Problem is, the living have the advantage when it comes to beefy. it's one of the few drawbacks of being a skeleton> I do manage to stagger and disarm the ugly fucker tho>shout to my comrades to get to safety. cleric obliges, hunter stays>warchief levels a haymaker. nat 20.>knocks my helm clean off>considered my jimmies rattled>take broadsword, to orc>nat 20> too bad he wasn't wearing a helm>ranger is WTFing as she gets the paper slip that reveals my skeli-dentity>shout "we need to get out fast, let's not make bones about it right now">not exploding overrides WTF energy>lose helm, keep our lives
>>46244963>friend invites to join his long running pathfinder game after someone moves away>tell him I'm going to roll a monk>"no, the party has to many religious people and they don't really fit with the part of the world we are in">tell him I'm going to roll a necromancer>"no, the party is mostly LG and even though they are not necessarily evil it will cause conflict I don't want">ask him if I can make a summoner>"sure sounds good">fast forward a week and its my first game>he quickly looks over my sheet and gives it the okay>last session the party was attacked by cultists on the road and things are looking grim>sessions starts with my character, a synthesist, jumping out of the shadows with my skeleton before me and punching a cultist to death>GM stares at me for ten second before sighing>"Yeah, sure why not."Died a few sessions later but it was still fun. The bone puns never get old.
>>46249404you fucking killed me anon
>>46261417>>46261592>>46261644>>46261644>>46261974>>46262321>>46262748>>46262972>I pick a straw hat and rags from a gobbo corpse to cover my winning smile before returning to the fray>So glad I dont have a nose rn>BOOOOM>or ears> no more fort, no more orcs, and only a few disorganized gobbos left by the end of the day. we emerge victorious!>convince ranger to stay mum till we pay off mooks, which I get her to do promptly> rendezvous with rest of party. > ranger sneaks up an takes my hat and scarf off>barb WTFs as hard as ranger starts lauging OOC, cleric starts with the praying konniptions and such. if I could roll my sockets I would>ranger asks me to explain>and I say>in my best disinterested deadpan>"I thought you guys knew to be honest"> resounding pause while DM and Barb player contain themselves>IC: "its a relief to know you didn't though come to think of it">ranger: what why?>I though I was raveling with a bunch of dullards when none of you gave even a chuckle at any of my jokes. I almost gave up on them even">they realize I've been low key throwing out skele-puns since session uno>sensible chuckles were most certainly had>heres the best part though:>barb player friends with edgelord rogue outside of RP, nice enough IRL. and he'd tried to convince him I was playing a betrayal character for the DM and that i was undead. >barbarian player didn't believe him because of his mountains of salt about the whole affair>edge rogue wouldn't drop it>starts his own rp group> invites barbarian player> DM is magical realm, PC's apparently similar caliber>cringe is too strong> barbarian and edge rogue no longer speakI played a stealth skeleton so convincingly that I ruined a friendship >my skull when
>>46263169Would you guys like more of this or like to hear about other skela-vdentures. im in the mood to type
>>46263188Please do. My DM doesn't like skellingtons, so they never let me play one.
>>46263213>being this skelly jellyoffer to handicap your stats to prove your commitment to skellexemplary roleplay. its worked on multiple occasions for me. and I haven't played a pleb tier fleshy character in nearly 2 years with multiple DMs and groups
>>46244963I read this in Kermit's voice.
Just started reading your skele-tales while I was looking for something else. I'm all ears! Been brainstorming ideas for a backup character. Only have a bare bone concept thus far. This is helping flesh him out for me.
>>46261417>>46261592>>46261644>>46261974>>46262321>>46262748>>46262972>>46263169my group dubbed that campaign arc "Skeleton origins: what'chu mean?"BTW my PC's name was "Sphen Maxillae of Occipitus" or "Sven" for short>>46263399hope you caught my low key skelepuns fast as I caught yours>>skeleton as a backupscum.>this success is our first big score as a group>Sven can't help but grin>cat bones are out of the body bag, but it couldn't last forever>sink part of my share into replacement helm with stylized inlays depicting a skull for style points> we work on retainer as agents for this noble for a while, help fight border dispute for noble's duke>gain a reputation as the best sellswords in the region>dubbed "deaths hand" by locals>focus on small, targeted, critical ops>because of this get paid the same as a much larger traditional force>we start racking up some serious bones>duke wants to commend us on our work in securing him the adjacent region from the orcs.>border life isn't for the faint of heart, great for the nonexistent of heart though>OHGODWAIT that duke is not gonna like meeting me grimace-to-face>remember how I said magicians were incredibly expensive?>I could just about afford one for what I neededtake my hard earned ingots and head to the company battle mage>"how good are you at artifice friend">"terrible, why do you ask Sven?">"I need some fleshing out, and you're the best man for the job">I lift my helm>"oh. well.">how does no one notice? my helm is literally a skull>"I've got a horsecart of gold ingots for your work, and a second one for keeping your mouth shut. sound good?">and that's how Sphen got dressed up to meed a duke
First time I've heard of a skeleton pc. Currently mid game with a LE lvl 7 unchained rogue, half-elf (epicly brutal backstory). Always have another pc ready for emergencies. Was considering finally playing a monk. Now I'll be skeleton. Monk? Probably not lol ....puns were to depict my enthusiasm
This is the greatest thread I've ever seen. Archived since this is too humerus too let go to waste>rattles
>>46263527WE NEED MORE SKEL
>>46259217but anon I'm not a skeletonI'm a nervous system piloting a skeleton mech with flesh armor
>>46261417>>46261592>>46261644>>46261974>>46262321>>46262748>>46262972>>46263169>>46263527sorry folks my stupid mortal coil needed tending to. back to the skele-fun>wizard makes me a magical mask that makes me appear as though I have flesh>the gods had to make a new plane of trolling to contain the layers of shenanigans this implement enabled>meet duke everything goes off w/o a hitch>take a patella Sphen>knights me>if only he knew>he wants us to travel to his brother's barony to help with some of his "unique problems">exskellent>he's got a venom spewing drake going around mutilating cattle and all sorts of fucked up monster mash shit going on>Finally a home>adviser is a vampire, root him out. kill the drake with explosive bait and the fact poison gas can't slow down the ol' calcium phosphate>Sphen and company start climbing up the feudal ladder>Baron's crazy sister invites me for a private audience>tries to get me to have an audience with her privates> uh oh>hand bones start to sweat>this is against my core morals lady>she isn't deterred>takes off helm>puts hand on mask, mask comes off in embrace>needless to say we don't bone>snatch mask and hightail it out of there>great, now I've got that to worry about>baron is all "explain yourself" privately to me>roll for bluff "your sister tried to consort with me in an immoral way baron. I refused her and she no doubt wants revenge">success>baron doesn't like what hearing but believes me, tells me I should go>one of my favorite parts of being a skel is that magical realms and erp is nearly impossible>we continue in this vein until we meet a good old fashioned bbeg>its a wizard vying for control by incensing violence in the orcs and pollitical intirigue, not supre powered, just talented with dickery>we smoke him out, hunt him down, always seems to be one step ahead tho>find his house, I'm the first in>fireball to the chest
I need more skeleton stories. These are amazing.
>>46267548More skrelingtones plz
>>46267548Someone cap this shit already.
>waiting patiently for more skeltal.
>>46261592>oh>>46261644>>46261974>>46262321>>46262336>>46262748>>46262972>>46263169>>46263527>>46267548>>46268095fkin saved to the bone bank>My skull when people open that folder expecting porn>muh floatan ribs>fight through the pain, tackle this magical neet fuck>acid touch> o lerd> armor takes brunt of it> Its wrasslin time> DM struggles to keep a straight face describing skeleton in nothing but gauntlets and boots going full skelamania on this magic user's ass> you better believe I Tombstoned him> with the help of the based as fuck PCs I manage to bury the chucklefuck>I'm injured and naked at this point> cleric tries to lay on hands> oh god "no no no no no NO NONO NONONONO"> knocks me unconscious > cleric: "fuck">ranger: "shit shit is he dead"> "he was dead in the first place"> "oh. right."> "well, what are we gonna do now"> they put me in a burlap sack and head back to motherbase, carried by based barbarian> I'm the same old literal useless bag of bones I always was> but little did they know, I planned for this eventuality> have an iron clad unliving will > backstory engaged> Sphen was raised by a necromancer in fakelandistan> party finds out in the documents left to them that they have to seek him out to help me> fine with taking break from this group for a while, I was only here to introduce them to RP anyway> I am become macguffin, derailer of campaigns> I give DM my prepped materials so he doesn't have to try too hard to make it work> they travel to fakelandistan, find out that in life I was the captain of viziers guard> product of botched ritual to glean information from the other side> my wife still lives, she doesn't know im among the living because of my shame in my new form> been sending her care packages the whole time, even documented my expenditures> they eventually find the 'mancer in the desert> he agrees to help with a generous ingoting from my estate> Sphen makes his triumphant return
>>46244963Believe me, I knowShe told me while I was boning her
>>46267460 filthy fkin casual>>46263399>not occuring to you to always play a skeletonthat's why you're part of the problem family>>46268383I'm suprised no one's posted the "OP will surely deliver" skeleton yet>>46268762>>46268762>>46268762My skull when I write for a living and this is how I procrastinatesorry for delay, had to heat up some coals on the stove for based indoor nicotine> "OH AH OOH.... thank god. the other side of the veil is so dull"> "Wait... Why Can't I feel anything from the waist down???"> turns out the necro fucked up again> Fucking inverebrate magic users> play out rest of the session C3PO'ed to the barbarian> eventually find a competent artificer> fashions me some iron prosthetics> I'm a cyborg special snowflake in a gritty low magic fantasy campaign> rattles me just right> meet my end at the hands of an acid spewing eldritch horror> nothing left but my skull and metal legs> consider playing as a meme, think better of it> my will gives a missive and majority share of estate to wife and descendants> legs buried in my old plot, new epitaph to read "here lies what's left of Sphen. He lived twice, friends from both should to visit now and then"> "If life has you rattled, spooked or down, remember that it could always be stranger."> "you could have been raised from the dead, illegally emigrated to [setting's fantasy europe] and broke bread with the bet mercenaries the world has to offer. So grow a spine and go about your business> play other campaigns with this group every now and then, Sphen's skull becomes cross-setting advice and joke spewing relicI have a few other stories worth sharing. do y'all want:> Engieneering officer in space opera> by history of BTFOing that guys in play groups all over my localenext?
>>46269228That guy.Someone fucking cap all of this shit already.
>>46269228>Hour later>Still no storybaka desu senpai
>>46270431prepping hookah and having lunch. gotta live man, gimme a break>TFW I am a skeleton in all aspects but physical>>46269508>>46269428that guys it is thenI'm building the bone bank so post em if you got em. this is now the official /skeletons general/ threadAlso, daily reminder that /tg/ is the best board on 4chan. its the only one that can restrain its autism long enough to do cool shit and resemble something like a community. >I DM myself, so I'm sympathetic to the problems presented by certain elements in our community>the DM from the Sphen campaign asks if i can help one of his friends with a player like our edge rogue>[rattles internally]>note IRL I'm fine with whatever your deal is as long as it doesn't hurt the game>talk to said DM, apparently this guy is one of those fucks that wants to bring politics and his fetishes into the game> tries to create a colony of genderqueer sex pagans in every setting they play> tries to drag other PCs into it>They can't just boot him out because of preexisting friendships> I have a passive aggressive, petty skill set particularly suited to solving the problem> only the DM knows I'm a operator>tell DM I can help, but I have one condition> You guys already know what it is>group is far, so I'm playing via voip, eyes on the scene via webcam> take this motherfucker in. all 18 stone of him> know that tip fedora picture? imagine that with souless eyes and a quaff with streaks of neon color>IC and OOC diatribes about how fucked up each reality is> target so fucking acquired he's only gonna count for 3/5ths of a kill> DM briefs me>bone up on his interests> my skeleton has to be a magic user this time (ugh)>I do the unthinkable>I weave a network of illusions that makes me look like a brown elf trappy fuccboi >introduced to group, they think I'm a rogue for hire> RP ok so far, That Guy in question is playing a Noble Savage orc barbarian> RPs like he's the race's frederick douglas despite lowint
>>4625292610/10 character design.Would really like to find the concept artist for biology and get him to sign my sternum.
>>46244963How much does this fag weight? I bet he can't even push me from where I stand with the momentum he packs. Silly bastard is going to get boned,
>>46257672> Baki is entirely anatomically accurate, but the characters are all alien lifeforms that simply look similar to humans> all unrealistic feats performed in the mango are natural to the Baki-verse creatures
>>46260240>>46260907>>46260921Baki the grappler. it has interesting opinion about human anatomy
>>46270697YFY his signature IS your sternum>>46270744good luck on a knockout. bone is more durable than aircraft aluminum>>46270635>my PCs name is Vomer Malleus btw>He's already mirin' the character I've tailored to his brand of game ruination>his fleshy thighs can't see through my elven disguise, only socket eyes can reveal my lies>he wants the bacula>goes on to me about the virtues of his, and I quote: "revolutionary way of life" as we play> "that's nice and all but I just don't feel it in my bones"> describe all my actions in physical detail to kick his magical realm into turbodrive> group thinks im as bad as him at this point> you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a skeleton> thatguy increasingly frustrated I don't want to be his "waifu" as we play> towards the end of a particularly productive session that includes trouncing a mid-boss and finding an unexpectedly good loot cache, it happens> he propositions me> "here Vomer, take my share of loot"> "what? why?"> "you are a valuable friend"> expressions of group turns sour> apparently in his mid this is orc cultural method of betrothal, great for him as it forgoes consent> he's done this to a girl and guy in the group before> that night we make camp. it begins> prep disintegrate rune on my coccygeal vertebrae> put on my most scanty leather gear> make sure ears are particularly knifey and obtuse.> he enters the tent> tries to enter my PC> I try to fight him off unsuccessfully> he pulls off my anime-tier functional negligee> smell of onions in the air> jk> DM, holding back laughter: "as you put your member into Vomer, you know something is wrong imeediately. you can feel the breeze trough the tent once fully inside"> I manage to pry his hand off my little elf mouth and shout to alert the other PC's> all they see as they waken is a naked, screaming orc struggling to get out of my tent bleeding brofusely from where his genitals should be
>>46262696Get that shit out of here right now
>>46271301> bone is more durable than aircraft aluminumYou do realise that a human skeleton isn't a monolithic piece that's as dense as the densest part of the densest bone, right? A human adult should be able to hold the skeleton down with minimal effort and quite literally pick it apart.
>>46257672>BakiBiscuit Oliva's fighting style is totally not bullshit
>>46271410>implying an animated skeleton can be destroyed by moving the bones a bit farther apart>implying his chief tactic isnt trolling you into destroying your hands trying to wear down is superior durability, then taking a few shots at your fuccboi nervous tissue to finish you offfucking fleshbags, am I right?>>46271301> and being pursued by a glowing sigil-laden skeleton> open sesamoids> "you tried to bone the wrong elf you fucking greenskin trogolodyte"> rampant unchecked forest dweller privilege> I can physically feel the triggers going off a mile away> My skull when> finish off the orc, while spewing every derogatory word for ork I can think of, even work in a couple of skele-puns. that's when the the dude slides into nosntop infinite slimebag> OOC shouting from his player start, blows out laptop mic, so loud the soundwaves start the rolls a' jigglin> "THIS RACIST FUCK IS RUINING THE FUN FOR EVERYBODY"> thinks the other players enjoy being sexually assaulted and being surrounded with a pansexual community of tumblr memes every single campaign> DM shrugs and says its kosher> The dude hits a level of tantrum most toddlers can only dream of achieving.> tries to flip the big, wood dining room table we're at, fails miserably, only succeeds in spilling some beers that the slower players hadn't secured> sweatily rolls out of frame>my feed suddenly goes dark> apparently the dude took the telepresence laptop ad hurled it across the room while continuing his screaming fit> left in tears and no nonger speaks to any of them because they wanted him to calm down instead of erecting a makeshift safe zone for him>group's Okayness with my actions sent him into fedora deathspiral apparently> Feel bad about laptop so I drove over and replace the broken panel for DM. still works fine> drive isn't actually that bad> ask if group wants to continue the game with me in person> get a resounding "sure, why the fuck not"
>>46271845this group's nonchalance is a fucking treasure
>>46271949>the rare skele memesThat's why I kept up with them for so long. I think it was more being fed up with this hamplanet's unbelievable bullshit for so many campaigns. he'd apparently driven out several players previously too, which was the reason for my introduction. one or two came back even.
>>46261974>>46262321>>46262748>>46262972>>46263169Did you write all these skeleton related puns out before hand? I'm having a hard time believing you were just coming up with them off the cusp while playing.
>>46272433they're off the top. I've got years of skeleton roleplay experience to draw from.
>>46272634>>46272634patience. I'll be back in a bit.>relax and listen to some skelton john>or perhaps some of the artists featured at bone-a-roo if alt is more your thingwish i cared enough to spoiler stuff man. literally every pun would be
>>46272782POST SKELETAL UNTIL HE COMES BACK DON'T WANT THIS SHIT TO ARCHIVE
>>46265289GJ anon. Now get the rest.
CAP THIS SHIT YOU FAGGOTS
This is the greatest thread I've seen in a long while.
This thread is 2spoopy4me
>>46274287>>46273909>>46273735>>46273190aaand into the bone bank it goes>>46274679theres 1 inside you RIGHT NOW NORMIE>>46271845>wrote my character as possessed by a powerful curse as motivation >lyfted.mov>lose magic properties >now I'm just a regular bony rogue> skelgant,> quick witted,> and skeloquent> explain to party the reason for rattling them at night> opposed bluff to prevent panic>narrow success> surprisinglyokaywiththis.sh> grab nearest tarpaulin. black, kinda rattyfrom here its bluff or die quite literally>I am become BS, horsement of the bluffpocalypseContinue to play with this group to this day. my insistence on skeletons is a small benign tumor compared to the cancer that I cut out, so they humor me, prolly because each of my skeletons don't have a boring bone in their bodies, unless the setting needs a straight man.
>>46274912tell us about the time you were an engineer
>>46274912>>46274912so thats how I took on the thattest guy I've met to date, and met my fav current RP group>MSkullW only ended 2 friendships this time
>>46246386if they fought living opponents by equal weightclass they would wreck shit. 200lb human being vs whatever the fuck has a 200lb skeleton.
>>46275170>>46275170Bacula is hard at the though manso yall want another BTFO that guy or beam me up skelly?
>>46275209>BaculaBlacula is tough as shit too
>>46275684He's undead, but still has all that flesh as baggage>2/10 would not rattlehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baculum
>>46275209bury another That Guy
second part of Sven the Skellington
>>462449634d6+33 17x3Two mythic points to multiply a crit. 4 attacks, 3 at full bab. .80 crits per full attack. Let's dance mr skeldoodle.
>>46276234>posting dice instead of rolling bonesget out. now.
gotta do some work guys, news doesn't write itself. kep skele-posting to keep it alive. I'll be back with my unique brand of bony autism in a bit>in 3d
Good shit skelebro, you're an inspiration to us all.Playing an undercover necromancer in a current game with a skeleton companion named Morte. Maxed Disguise and Bluff and keep him constantly in armor and robes, then it turns out our adventure starts with the boat we're on sinking as an old man lobs a bunch of water breathing potions at us. I chug one as time runs out, Morte just jumps right in since I thought they were limited duration and wanted to keep mine just in case.>"Wait hold on" OOC stares from most of the table>"He'll be fiiiine, I'm a wizard remember?" >thank fuck for new players >other exploits involve riding on Morte's shoulders across a field of leeches>mostly just a lot of hiding in the inn while the other players meet the fancy higher-ups since I'm paranoid they'll have detect evil or detect undead shit set upReally early in the campaign though so not many chances to do anything cool yet, and it'll probably go nowhere. I wanna save the concept though, a guy who animated the corpse of his best bro because bro claimed he'd always get his back, and wanted to make sure he held up his end of the bargain.
>>46277108>>>46277108>skeleton "companion">subjugating the glorious calcified master raceCheck your meaty privilege >so triggered I start poppin off, My Skull When
>>46277556what if the skeleton is actually the master and the meatbag is just his front? Can't go rattlin' yer bone-box to just any berk, sometimes you need a go-between to the world of skin.
>>46271007Is this the Japanese equivalent of Liefeld?
>>46277662>thinking skeleton sjws would be more any practical or pragmatic than real ones
I like this thread.
>>46274912>>46275125>>46276937 back, typing up next story. in the meantime, a homemade shisha recipe>2 Oz norwegian gold or similar light pipe tobacco, none of that $10 for a liko bag shit either>1/4 teaspoon clove oil>1/2 teaspoon mint oil/extract>1/2 teaspoon bergamot oil, food grade limonene, or natural orange extract> blackstrap molasses> glycerin or honey> myrrh or other fragrant resin if you got it>finely chop tobacco, roast of 175-190F until dry but not flakey>take out of oven and cool to workable temp.> knead in honey and molasses, in a 3:1 ratio (grate or grind resins and add them here) favoring molasses until mixture resembles gummi candy> back in the oven for half an hour> add oils, mix again, freeze overnightsmoke with natural coals if you didn't use glycerin to prevent burningwith quality ingredients at scale this costs around half the price of that store bought dyed artificial crap, about $25/lb>blowing smoke rings out of your bony eyesocketsPriceless.
bump because I'm bonseing for new stories
>>46277691Nope, that completely voluntary and has in universe justification.The MC and his father have special back muscles that look like demon face and grant them special powers.Also, demon faces in the folds of the brain, with much the same effects.
I played in a homebrew setting once where there was an insular undead nation, that didn't have much contact with the outside world.The DM let me play the skeleton 'daughter' of the king, who ran away to the real world, because that's what princesses who are kept in confinement do.She basically wore the full burqa with a veil, but was completely oblivious to people hating the undead. She was doing it to protect her royal identity. When the truth finally came out, she thought the party was making a big deal because she was a runaway princess.Only the party fighter cared. He was constantly asking others "Does anyone not notice this?!" because like... Innkeepers would discover her identity, scream, and he'd come bursting in, but they'd be gushing about her colour of lipstick, not fearful.So many stories.
>>46279742Skelautist here. post em if you got em. too much bitcoin news for me to write ATM, plus im running low on my supplies for terminal nicotine addiciton
HEAVY METAL NEVER DIES!
Fucking travesty this hasn't been posted yet.God bless you OP. You beautiful, calcium-laden son of a gun.
>many games allowing you to be a necromancer>skeletons are always shit, do piss poor damage and die in 2 hitsI just want to take over the world with an army that will never eat, never pillage, never rape, and never murder people just because they didn't like the guy's face.
>>46262321>Player pleads with DM OOC and complains of unfairness in equal measure>DM: you tried to kill him, you should have known this was a possibility>My skull when he leaves play sesh in a huff and the group is happy to detour to the nearest gallowsFucking piece of shit got what he deserved.
>>46282948Skillfull magic and a large amount of cannon bone tissue should do the thing.
>>46263169>edge rogue wouldn't drop it>starts his own rp group> invites barbarian player> DM is magical realm, PC's apparently similar caliber>cringe is too strong> barbarian and edge rogue no longer speakWhat a terrible human being.
>>46283030Not in the games I play.>you will never have a RPG where you play a necromancer in the current era
>>46283060>I just want to take over the world with an army that will never eat, never pillage, never rape, and never murder people just because they didn't like the guy's face.not wanting to play a skeleton instead ugh, just... why?
>>46252926/tg/ likes being spooked
>>46268762> cleric tries to lay on hands> oh god "no no no no no NO NONO NONONONO"> knocks me unconscious > cleric: "fuck">ranger: "shit shit is he dead"> "he was dead in the first place"> "oh. right."> "well, what are we gonna do now"> they put me in a burlap sack and head back to motherbase, carried by based barbarian> I'm the same old literal useless bag of bones I always wasMY SIDESAt least now we see the appeal of having a skeleton party.They're good infiltrators.
Has someone played a skeleton NPC with enough bluff and or disguise to convince everyone you have skin and such? Sorta like Sir Bearington.
>>46271301>raping another player characterWHAT
>>46283086The only game I know where I play a skeleton was Kel, and it was incredibly bad.I'd rather play a werewolf, at least they can crush skulls with their bare hands.
>>46283199I'm curous why DM didn't just say that guy to fuck the hell off. Also, DAT'S NOT A PROPPA ORK!
>>46283219Werewolves aren't immune to poisons, bile, suffocating, bleeding, old age and magical-realming. Werewolves are usually too wolfy to use tools and armor. Skellie beats it.
>>46283236he didn't want to fragment the group based on preexisiting friendships. I was called in to be the bad guy. other players may not have liked his RP but didnt want to hurt his irl feelings. My favorite way to play is as a guide or an assistant, I get a kick thinking that solaire might really be skel
>>46283282>this guy gets itstay based.
>>46283282They usually can regen, and don't die in two hits.Werewolves in Skyrim are OP and hilarious as fuck to play.
>>46283328Broken bones? HA! RIP AND TEAR some corpse and replace 'em with new ones. Also, if skellie is so brittle then skellie should play bowman or some dodgy guy. OR WEAR FUCKING ARMOR
>>46283439Ah, yes, pixpixpix
>>46277108Is that for 5E?If so, I'll have to show this to a couple of my bro's, they love 5E.
>>46283519THREAD BE ALIVE MOTHERFUCKER
>>46283685only snake worth a look imo
>>46279181I'm so glad you stayed and wrote all this. Truly inspirational.>>46262781Was this anon.
Le rare undead pictureses
>>46283784>not appreciating rare skelesy u here then family
>>46283732What is this, a snake for ants?
>>46283861>fits in the box better that way
>>46283260I want to fuck h ug that kobold.
>>46283888>not wanting to fuck the skeletonsHue.
>>46283888Woops freudian slip I guess.
>>46283888For a moment I thought I was in the current kobold thread.
>>46283917Well I've fucked skellies before. They've just been covered in a membrane of skin and muscle and junk too.
I find this thread to be quite rib tickling.
>>46283295>>46279181>>46276937>>46279839(me)guess who's back fambly>>46283740glad you liked my shisha recipe an my skele posts too>>46283943take that shit to /d/ you disgusting flesh sack>not boning them instead>>46283978disclaimer thats a shadman original. no votes on space skeles or other stories for me to post. give me your preferences so I can write something up instead of talking about how the winklevoss twins are 69ing each other
>>46284072Space Skelly, then
>>46284072Wait, you wrote you're typing up a story, that's why I haven't said anything. Anyway, SPACE SKELLY.
>>46284171sorry, job got in the way for a bit. im a newswriter so my shift is whenever shit happens
>>46252926They're comedic in nature despite being a grim reminder of death.
>>46284171SKELLIES IN SPEHSS YAY
time to post moar
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRO- eh
>>46284072>>46284293>AI with a skele fetish>necrons literally are to skeletons what furries are to animalsYour bad taste is showing anonTHIS JUST IN:>playing with group I saved from landwhale in space opera setting> they KNOW Imma be a skeleton> not a skelly looking alium> not a brain in a metal termie suit> a fucking skeleton> build my character> compulsively gambling human skeleton that got spit out into our reality from tear in space time>loves to roll them bones>speaks with one of those tracheotomy voice boxes cuz why not> not an uncommon occurrence for the skellar field to fail during FTL travel, causing shit like this>usually what gets spit out isnt nearly as useful>incorrigible tinkerer> Dub him Talus "Terry" Cyamella and call it a day>rest of party ends up being a bounty hunter, a disgraced merchant who brings kit and connections to the the table, self taught pilot, and an outmoded AI in a freight loading rig (apparently inspired by my no traditional [Property: race] choices> they all meet up, reasons for getting on merchants ship happen>they know I'm gonna arrive>they just dont know how or when>crappy nav computer directs them into temporal storm>they're shitting bricks and bracing for eldritch horrors in the hold as the enitre hull rattles and chatters>generator stressed to max to maintain cosmic shielding>right before it hits critical mass, it suddenly calms with a pop and the sound of a giant playing fiddlesticks>no unimaginable amorhpous gibbering madness> no space ghosts, even if they searched oast to coast> just my ass clattering to the floor.> Get up, dusting my bones off as I go> mumbling " ...worth it, definitely worth it" to myself before noticing PCs > "OH. Hey! I'm Talus. Friends call me terry"> seeing as we're in a metal box with a few inches between us and nothing. I'd love to make friends> If you need work done around this barge I can offer a hand> Pilot starts worrying about O2 and rations
OH BOY A SKELETON THREAD>mfw I have a folder in my images called The Closet just for skeleton images
>>46284531>>necrons literally are to skeletons what furries are to animalsThere's only 2 ways of being an undead here in 40k - necrons or rotten pesky Nurglite heretics. Maybe Settra will pop out somewhere as an easter egg...
>>46284599Please post everything.
>>46284531>worrying about O2 and rationsThey're pretty boned, aren't they.
>>46252926Because of that one vintage magazine cover with skeletons that that SJW shithole SA came up with (among other prevalent memes). I'm surprised this meme isn't dried up and dead yet.
>>46284770not that anon but will do
Posting in epic skeleton bread>tfw miss old skFucking wraiths
I'm now imagining a skeleton PC infiltrating a necromancer's lair by posing as one of his mindless servants.
>>46284599>being this cooli'm open if you need a xylophone/percussionist for your band>>46284734Guess its flattering that they could be anything they wanted and they chose skeles. god is 40k an autist setting though. its the reason I take the time to run my sci fi campaigns in gurps instead of using a d100 system>>46284819>lol skeletons are just a memeif its just a meme give me yours dude >>46284859dead center naked skele with bone intsead of weapon and giant skull drums>kek'd so hard my bones rattled>>46284919I've legit done this several times. Hate evil magic users. esp. necros>>46284531>>46284072>>46284217>"Think about that for a second man. Do I LOOK like have lungs or a stomach?"> pauses for a second, party facepalms collectively> note pilot for a mark> look down> "oh god, how embarrassing. my pants didn't survive the trip. you guys got extras?"> pilot eyes me and asks what I meant by trip> "buy be dinner before probing me naked dude"> laughs deflect question, and I am empantsed> quickly establish myself as we wile away the hours until landfall in this glorified lunchbox> guess who cheaped out on safety and maintenance gear? our jolly merchant did>micrometeorite hits hull, needs fixing from outside>oh no Terry we're fucking boned fuck shit lets panic> hand me the tig nig i got this gig> fix damage, do 0g skeleton dance as I drift past window on my way back in> come through airlock> get hearty vertebrae slaps and such> "So we'll call that a 1% share into our venture here"> Terry what venture> "I'm assuming we're hauling cargo or something on this shitheap right?"> No we're running to nearest unincorporated system because of massive fuckup on startr planet> "Jesus. What do you plan on doing once you get there? we're running on fumes as it is and at least where I come from spacefaring ain't cheap"> that system wont even take this scrip> reality dawns on party> hate it when im the only one in the room grinning
>>46284531>mfw they went in a warp storm and a SKELETON POPPED OUTI'm spooked
>>46284955Don't die on me thread pls
>>46285221Relax, slOwPoke took 40 mins in between his last two posts.
>>46285247I dont have it pre-typed man im sorry if its not fast enough 4 u>>46285156>could have gotten rid of that le memegag watermark with a 12 pixel cropbeen delivering the whole thread, OP never commited to nothing>>46284531>>46284955> my newly acquired jimmies are now thoroughly clickity clacked> "best not think about it now guys, wanna gamble some of that worthless scrip/">what with>my existence when they dont know dice are made of knuckle bones> only need one hand to throw anyway> you better bet I can influence odds if the game is based on parts of my hands> good thing they don't put warrants out on people that haven't existed for more than a few weeks > Is it cheating if they can't gain from what im stealing?> after fleecing the lot of them I get srs> OK merchant, what kind of hardware we working with here> Giant cargo barge dude put ridiculous amount of his wealth into thinking 5 low level chucklefucks could use it> OK. realistically we're gonna have to downsize> he starts to protest> hold up, hold up> we can make more money if we work as a team on a smaller ship as long as you guys don't mind getting your phalanges dirty> I've got an idea or two if you guys are in > Of course they're in, what are they gonna do, slum it in an unincorporated planet, maybe system if they're lucky without the cooperation?> Merchant gets lions share of course, we get more proportional to investment in the partnership> 44 points for Merchant. 15 each for the AI and Pilot as essential personnel. 16 for me and 10 for bounty hunter each get a single vote> I'm turning a bunch of wanted asshats into a well oiled framework that supports our game> Just like a well cartilaged skeleton does for any vertebrate> feel bad shorting the bounty hunter as he's the only other practically minded character> that's business tho> Anybody know anything about the planet we're headed for?> its in bounty bros home system> not too mos eisely luckily
>>46285385I'd do you one better and post the picture bereft of text, but this is the highest resolution I found it in.
>>46285385Well, OP, I'm going to bed. I hope this thread will still be up by tomorrow, and, thanks for not being a fagot.
>>46285385I have good feeling about this in me bones.
Posting 2 keep alive
In what settings there are intelligent undead that don't have to be crazy sociopaths "because death corpses evil lol"? Evil demons are ok, but why undead
>>46285385Don't die on us OP
>>46285623I wasn't aware the neck was this long.
Roll for IWND
Shiny, shiny undead.
OKAY, DEN I WILL LOOT DAT THREAD! WAAAGH!
>>46244963Honestly if you cant break a skeleton easily easily then you are really weak.Dont let dnd fool you, dried bone is brittle as fuck.
>>46262578I began to like skeletons because of those books, as well.>Few years after reading the books, I find out my friends also go around as a RP group>I get invited and have lots of fun with our adventures>Third adventure, people start making new characters>DM won't let me play as a skeleton, saying it is way too OP for anything>Have to rattle my bones under a fleshy disguise>See this threadI love you lads so much.
happy easter folks
Until Sven gets back have some Deep Rot to tide you over http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12936417/
>>46260240>>46260921>>46270898>>46271007Baki does anatomy weird a lot of the time, yes. But that picture is justified. A character is perfecting a whip-like punch that breaks the sound barrier, and was told to visualize his skeleton as being entirely made of joints.
realy don't want this to die
>>46284901rip skeleton king
>knock a few back for the holidays
>>46284819>dried up and dead>skeletons
>>46287609That still doesn't explain the ear bones.
What about other types of spooky undead PCs? Fuck vampires, they're generally played by awful people. But what about shit like a ghost bard or mummy monk?>exploring the haunted castle on a dark and stormy night, paintings' eyes seem to follow your every move>ghostly wailing coming from the room beyond>straining youreyes and ears you faintly recognize the tune of Livin' On A Prayer coming from a floating guitar
>>46289861The character doesn't know what a skeleton looks like and therefore also visualizes ear-bones alongside the joints?
>>46290346>Fuck vampiresBut what if the vampire was italian? >What do you mean I can't have garlic with my food?>What do you mean I can't go outside, it's a perfect, sunny day!
>>46290884The one and only time that being a vampire would actually be a curse and not just free advantages with no mechanical downsides.>Count Tony von Antoni
How does a power lich differ from a regular lich?
>>46292554They double as an eco-friendly source of electricity.
Going to bed, praying thread's still up in the morning.God bless you, Sven
>>46292554Not only are they skeletons but they wear a white sheet.Double scary=more power.
>>46294008>they wear a white sheetGhost + skeleton hybrid? What foul spooktacular monsters will you think up next?
>>46284531>>46284955>>46285385>>46294008>magic using skeletonsgross>>46292124fkin savedDaily reminder that we're better than every other roleplay board, including /x/, /r9k/, /b/, /k/, /mlp/. /soc/, and /lgbt/>Scrap planet with high geothermal activity and a decent spaceport>thus far I've kinda taken the spotlight, which I try to avoid because I have more fun as a supporting character (Solaire was secretly skele)>conflicted cuz we'd be dead without me, everyone seems okay with it > make landfall. we've got shit for rations, fuel, equipment other than the clothes draped over our scapulas>remember that no one loos twice at a skele in space, feels god notto have to worry about it>first things first, we gotta find a smaller ship, and a buyer for ours. then split the difference in value >set the merchant to work on finding quality rations and fuel>me and bounty hunter go looking for a ship>AI stays behind for theft prevention>pilot puts our barge on the market>we're communicating via shipboard CB in case one of use gets in shit or finishes early> Me and bounty hunter find a few decent rigs, our criteria are 4 cabins, AI compatible, decent sized hold and weapons if we can end up affording them> call back to ship to se what kinda buyers our listing is getting>no answer>rush back, turns out the pilot's been napping and the radios we're using aren't hooked up to the shipboard computer>we've garnered some interest though>couple of buyers bounty hunter recognises immediately as smugglers, a gang looking for spacefaring kit, and a cheap merchant with delusions of grandeur (sound familiar?)>great. we'll either have to try and squeeze blood from a stone or risk a ship-jacking just to get a decent price>radio in to merchant, he's sorted everything out he says >have you priced out the repair gear and parts we're gonna need?>ummm>get it done>SO we need to sell to the merchant to get everything we need
>>46294595Holy shit Sven is back.
>>46294595I've been observing this for hours. HOURS.
>>46294595https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h03QBNVwX8Qhave some happy skellies dancing from disney
>>46294595Fuck, right as Sven gets back I have to go to bed (1 am and unlike most Balkan citizens I have a job to get up for).Have a good night my undead fellows, someone archive this shit.
>>46294691we need to talk about that watermark>>46284531>>46284955>>46285385>>46294595For those of you that do want to get into hookah smoking, its not that expesnive after the initial investment. as long as you get a glass pot and metal stems theres a serious price/performance plateau. buy natural coals unless you aboslutely cant findthem in your area, and al fahker is by far the best brand ingredient quality wise, the other oes use american artificial bullshit at almost double the price. It's by and large the most cost efficient way to get nicotine in the home, besides vaping, but vaping is for fags. it's also the most pleasurable and social. I'm spening maybe a quarter of what I was on cigarettes, and provided you use natural flavorings and coals it poses lower health risks than anything but swedish Snus.
>>46295761pipe smoking is nice if you dont mind the smell and smoking outdoors too. more maintenance and care involed tho
>>46295761Apologies but my phone was being a bitch and not letting me edit the photo, thus leaving the ifag watermark.Have another skele as compensation.
>>46295033The skeleton dance should only be performed by skilled and certified skeletons.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENWRKtnEWiA
>>46284531>>46284955>>46285385>>46294595>>46295761> Set up a meet, everyone gets back to the ship> I privately share my concerns with bounty hunter> yep.psd> Can't blame the pilot for making a public listing, we need money for living essentials> merchant shows up without a guard> wants to lowball us> Charisma engage> get merchant PC to assist> end up getting a decent price> delist the ship, take our bitcoins and GTFO with the cargo loader as a vessel for the AI> getting late, bazaar is closing down> lets find a space super 8 to stay at for the night> in lawless unincorporated systems, the average motel will also be a brothel, gambling and drug den> Bountybro and I are torn about this because of our respective proclivities> post up at the bar, with bountybro and pilot, decide to be carpometacarpus-man for these poor uncharismatic fucks> pilot takes some green kirkbait back to room for the night, then something catches my eye> a game of texardran hold 'em> If I had n impulse control center to be overrridden it would be RN> plop myself down> "I never liked these newfangled chit machines. why give the house a fee for sitting at the table? we're already paying their whores' salaries, right?"> introduce these NPC's to craps> roll them bones> put up my welding kit as initial collateral> make a killing> "I think that's enough for the night gentlemen, its been. fun I'd leave the dice here but I then I wouldn't be able to pocket my winnings"> radius grabbed by scaly motherfucker who can't take a hint> hello> why do you look familiar> Sweet space christ it's the gang's proxy who put out the low offer on our barge> bounty bro edges up behind me, he's the only one of us packing more than well seasoned phalanges> hopefully he can bluff past his space mescaline induced haze> "you think my friend here's done something wrong bud?"> long glare from low-rent bossk> "let's not make bones about it> ribs tickled that he beat me to the punch
>>46284531>>46284955>>46285385>>46295761>>46296581Remember: use 2 layers of foil for proper hookah heat control, 3 if you're using that specialty hookah shit> reptoid lets me go, looks none too happy> time to explain my fuckup to the rest of the party> best time not to have facial muscles or sweat glands> they'll know the merchant's face as the ships deed was under his name>wake everyone up, make excuses, try to sneak out the back> get out, thugs waiting for us in the alley> bountybro frags one, I get tackled by the reptoid, > that tig welder gets put to work on his face> he skitters off> we escape, with a few new weapons and a few plasma singes on our pilot> we all hop on the cargo loader and beat it> unfortunately three terrified people and a skeleton wearing parachute pants driving a forklift at maximum thrust through the ghetto isn't exactly stealthy> gang evetunally gives pursuit> we make it out by the periosteum of our incisors>we lose them and in the relative calm everyone is looking at me like I've got my baculum hanging out> I just look through my pockets and keep smiling> I don't think they'll be a problem any more> wtf are you on about you numbskull> Sucsessfully pickpockted the proxy during the altercation> I have his communicator with galactic positioning system and his unmarked hardwallet> pilot jury rigs a gang locator > we check the hardwallet at the nearest terminal> oh boy> I think I just made the next story arc quite a bit easier to write for the DM> daybreak> bounty hunter goes with merchant to pick up kit> I get our ride with the stolen cryptocoins> local gang probably wonder what metal great trickery we're using to avoid them> we blast the fuck off and set a course for an unincorporated system that the merchant has contacts in> remember kids, it's easy to work chaucer from a knights tale into any setting you want> just make him a skeleton> we hit nebula again> no expectation of luck on this one
make no bones about his one, its a necro
>>46297584My skull when every fleshy race is just a breeder for the calcified ubermensch
glad skelautist sacrumed up and delivered.
>>46287132offer stat/modifier penalties for sake of RP. worked for skelebro
>>46297312I've been following your story since the first post. Thank you for such awesome storytime, please continue to regale us. Wish i had a story, good pics or just a few skelipuns to bump but alas all i have are my thanks and a mighty need for moar.
>>46297312I give you a smug skelington, please post more if you have it.
OP Your stories about Skeletons and Hatred of Magic users connect with me, i feel it deep down within me. Some kind of aching. In My body.... can't quite put my finger on where.
BUMPING TO KEEP THE THREAD ALIVE MAKE US PROUD ANONFUCK THE MEATBAGS!!!!!>it good to know that im not the only anon with a closet filled with skeleton posts.... :)
I fell in love with this thread, don't let it die /tg/!
Got anotha bump anon
bump, keep the skele alive
Bumping for the return of sven
Best Skellie, coming through!
>>46297312> we make it out by the periosteum of our incisorsMy rib bones are in orbit.
donating to the bone bank
Donation from the BoneZone folder.
>>46302816MW I only started posting to fill up the banks main vault>o way the smaller ship can handle this storm, its worse then the temporal bombardment>goddamn it AI i ought to do to you what MS did to tay>ship is an industrial rig with no bells and whistles>pilot, give me updates on our genny status every minute> bounty hunter, man the mining laer> merchant, get on the scanners and help the pilot> I get down to the fusion genny> problem with nebulas besides the electrical havok they wreak, its the shit hiding behind those clouds of opaque matter> only real way to survive is taking it at a crawl>boost power to sensors, mens AI has to manually target the shields>asteroids and boarding pirates may think twice about a few GW of rock crushing pulsed light> peaceful going till about halfway through> HUGE rock coming right at us> like, kupier belt big> funnel all power to laser, way past its rated capacity> thank god for gurps's granular skill system> we break it abart, but the laser is supes overheated>fragments start to hit shields, its too much for or shields>one by one, systems start to falter>we're down to life support, frontal shields and main fusion reactor>the largest chunk is coming right at us>tell bounty hunter to get to the cockpit>pull regulators on reactor as pilot swivels us to face it> radiation is enough to kill any unshielded personnel> didn't need my marrow anyways> run up the core to a hairs width of explosive failure and brace for impact> so much overload to the shields they get weapons grade plasma forming on outer layer>we bore a hole through the asteroid>grinding my teeth through my smile trying to maintain stability>geevanerrollshesgoot.sh> its over> drop regulators all at once, iodize back compartments and flush gas> niggawemadeit.xcf> stuck with no weapons or rear shielding, have to conserve o2 to cockpit, mess and quarters> Great, I'm gonna be lethally radioactive for the rest of this trip
>>46303499>goddamn it AI i ought to do to you what MS did to tayToo real
I had a game idea in a dream a few months ago. Skeleton knights! Immortal warriors whose sole mission in undeath is to keep mortals safe from the Angels of Destruction, hell bent on laying the works of men to waste before resetting mankind to the gilded cage of Eden, in ignorance of their own great accomplishments.What system would be good for this? I was thinking low sci-fi or cyberpunk era wise to give the Skeleton Knights a degree of culture shock, since they're primarily drawn from the ranks of actual knights or other ancient warriors who catch the eyes of the Old Gods and Lucifer.
>>46303637glad to know my dream hauntings bore some productive fruit. when in doubt, use gurps core with max 5 supplement books. I'd go with low magic medieval fantasy or a metal gear solid clone for setting remember to ban PC high magic use tho.>>46284531>>46284955>>46285385>>46294595>>46296581>>46296581>>46297312>>46303499>set to work on the laser, rear shields and genny> manage to get genny stable and laser working, still no rear shields >2 outta 3 aint bad I guess, no 02 or people back here anyway> get out of nebula without major incident> warp right onto another temporal storm> losing my patience with this gimping for the sake of roleplay > then I realize im a skeleton in a sci fi setting> back to work then> not sure if genny will be able to take another burninating, milder storm this time> something gets through anyway, in back compartment> tell pardners not to open the blast doors> DM: no you dont>tracheotomy synth fried by the RADness of my actions>shiiieeeeett>start to hear whispers>id be real nervous if i had nerves>this next bit is why having a good DM makes all the difference. > Talus, did you think it would be that easy to cheat me?> Only a mortal would be so naive> shitshitshitshit the space mafia found me> wait> no> maybe its the mafia of the nth dimension?> start skellucinating vividly> inomprehensible being shows me my life before the jump> yes, life, i was a man once>skeletons gotta start somewhere. I'm a fusion engineer in galactic 'nam> testing experimental transpo> get caught up with on some gambling debts to massive crime sydnicate> decide risking the untested combat teleporter is better than losing my organs and burning my nerves before a horrible death> wow, i WAS naive> end up stuck in horror plane, in current skele form>go insane and back again as my psyche is tortured around the spectrum> encounter space djinn > make a wager> he shoves me into a set of dimensions more palatable to me on win
My group is starting an all-skeleton campaign, and I'm DMimg. Give me some ideas.
>>46303954>negrumps y u think ive been story timingreally though, just insert skeletons into a normal setting, hijinks ensue as long as your PCs aren't bad at RP.
>>46303499How the hell can GURPS account for all the shit they just did in that ship? I love stories like this, but I'm at a loss to understand how all this stuff can be accounted for and how the players would even know about any of it.
>>46284955>>46285385>>46294595>>46295761>>46296581>>46297312>>46303499>>46303921>>46304009>>46304236Gurps can work with pretty much anything, granted less efficiently at times, it offloads more respnsibility onto the DM though. admittely we use a lil bit of fiat, bit of jerry rigging by me and the DM to get everything workingwe treat the systems like creatures with certain treatments and have a homebrew system add on that makes space stuff quite a bit simpler than the books ou'd have to use to get this level of sci fi dickery working. this is an experienced group that I saved from a that guy, they knew how to RP outside of D20 before I ever showed up, which helps>this is all impromptu, so the revelation is as dank to me as if i actually just had a repressed memory revealed>eyes widen as this plays out in front of me>jk im a skeleton>said dimensions are powering my existence>super vulnerable to temporal fluctuations>Djinn feels cheated>ossifying bricks at this point>party don't know whats up> AI notices me rattling violently> u ok Terry> im doing terryble> I have no voxbox and I must scream> come out of the incident with a shred of sanity> previously warned crew of environmental hazards> get to trade planet, they find me rainmanning next to the reactor when we dock> bounty hunter slaps me out of it> get pad and aper from mess room> explain the shit> entire party welps > we go out, im still a bit rattled> buy voxbox, better nav software for AI> AI looks into getting a droid> I'd be tired of being a sentient forklift after a while too> after repairs and re-upping on 02 and rations we aint got a ton left> Merchant reaches out to contacts that aren't strongly affiliated to federationthis is the fringe of his influence so its mostly small potatoes>we decide on shore leave for a bit given the shit we just went through
>>46304331I'll be away for a while. you guys should start siscussing all things skeleton ropleplay and TG while im gone. Its a deep mine
>>46304236>not briefing your players on relevant systems>not knowing about gurps versatilityI bet you play 3.5e exclusively
>>46304236operate vehicle [spaceship]repair etc
>>46304645I started out in some weird version of homerule 3.5 where everything was allowed while nothing was allowed and didn't even know anything was wrong til I looked into DMing it myself. Living in the deep South I only get to play online, so my experience is pretty limited to 3.5 and 5e with a dash of M&M and recently from FATE. Have yet to get to try GURPs, but every GURPs story I read has all these crazy details that seem like it'd be impossible to spec into and not run out of points. If it's just flavor-texting a catch-all "operate vehicle" skill that's understandable, but kind of disappointing...
>>46304712im assuming the pilot has a specialized operate vehicle and specialized profession skill. gurps stuff is split into things any chucklefuck can do and stuff you need a professional for, so Bounty hunter prolly has artillery or military training. AI is probably all in o compter skeelz and storytime PC is likely invested heavily in science and repair skills. find a pdf for core rulebook and take a look, its actually a very functional and modular system
Has anyone put this thread on suptg yet?
>>46284531>>46284955>>46285385>>46294595>>46296581>>46297312>>46303499>>46303921>>46304331 CAP THIS YOU LAZY HOMOSEXUALS
>>46303921We could have been bros, dude, but while our love for skeletons brings us together, your hatred of magic drives us apart.Why do you hate us wizards so much? Control Undead?
>>46306046#unlivesmatterOTR I just hate giving my players an out that doesn't involve tactical/critical thinking or explosives at a minimum. I want them to work for unreasonable dickery and circumvention of consequence
>>46305888Better yet. Archive this.
>>46306165>150th image postShit, whoever caps the thread post an imgur link
>>46306457>>46306165So fucking lazy.
>>46306457bfy . tw/4y8I
>>46306504haha /threadthanks for growing the bone bank guys. you'll get your dividends when the fed makes me>>46284531>>46284955>>46285385>>46294595>>46296581>>46297312>>46303499>>46303921>>46304331>>46306165> merchant finds us some cargo running stuff to do> we eventually get rich doing above board stuff in unincorporate space> altercations ensue with org sponsoring those initial space pirates> Terry slowly loses sanity each time we hit a temporal weak point> we eventually buy a small asteroid station and start managing it as a "last stop" type deal on the outskirts of a federal system> by this point I'm in and out of the dungeon dimensions like twice a week> Pirates find our station> shieeeeeet> battle ensues, at this point we can all ilot with some level of competency> I get hit, cabin depressurizes, end up ramming into a pirate fighting craft> no splosion b/c no o2 or autiigniting fueleject and try and make my way back to station> friends aren't doing much better, AI's ship gets torpedoed by corvette class carrier piloted by pirate king> know what? fuck this. We're boned anyway right?> turn my little gas space motor thing around (EAV I think?), rupture gas tank and fly towards nearest fighter> succeed in latching on> use welder to breach cockpit, suffocating pirate> hop in > turn that shit around and get back in the fight> tide turning> down to their carrier and a few drones> we disable its shields> We've Lost AI and pilot at this point, they're best at spacing> Vertebrae fuse as I prepare for what needs to be done> bee line for Corvette, drop all the chaffs> aim myself at aft> latch on and get the welder out> cut through airlock> find my way to engine room> subdue surprised engineer and take a page right out of my own playbook> pull and short every regulator and safety measure> Try to put up a fight when pirates arrivebut I get crushed> shed single tear as Reactor over loads> JK im a skeleton> I get vaporised
>>46306650sorry for brevity, wanted to get it done before the 404
>>46306674truly a great thread, it has done all it can do. and now it must be laid to rest. May your skeleton be with you.
>>46306806itd be pretty spooky if it wasnt family. might post a few more short stories if tis alive by the time the news runs out today
>>46306650Thank you, kind skelefeller.
>>46306650>saying "particle acskellerator"so close. you almost nailed it
>>46306650Someone archive this if it hasn't been archived yet.
When I made this thread 3 days ago I did not expect this to be the results
>>46306829bumping in the hopes this isnt false
>>46307153you're welcome. I'm newswriting right now but it may continue if today is as slow as the rest of week
>>46244963Please please please join our party.
>>46307321im not op if you're writing to story time guy. >it depends. is it a gurps group?
Holy fuck, it's still aliveI was here.
>>46309332Rip in skeleton pieces. Hope someone archived.
>>46306650see you later space cowboy