[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1455932311266.png (676 KB, 700x595)
676 KB
676 KB PNG
This is a thread to help further expand the fluff of the homeworld of the Hua Yuan 1st Exterminator Regiment, an IG regiment that /tg/ randomly rolled up using the 1d4chan creation tables, specifically that of the mid-Hive and the life of the average imperial citizen.

Here's the regiment thus far: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Hua_Yuan_Exterminators
And what little we have on the moon: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Hua_Yuan

Taken from the Wiki:
>Hua Yuan is an Earth-sized Hive world, on the Eastern Fringe of the galaxy. It boasts an atmosphere comprised mostly of Neon and Kaihonium, a valuable gaseous element useful for several industrial processes. One of several moons of a large Gas Giant, Hua Yuan is geologically dead, however despite this, the moon boasts rich deposits of several different elements, including adamantine.

>The atmosphere of the planet is extremely turbulent, with lighting storms giving the planet's entire surface an ominous glow as the skies are split by orange lightning, and make human habitation of the planet's surface all but impossible. As a result the majority of the planet's surface remains untouched by the hand of man, but in the depths of the equatorial canyon a sprawling hive reaches deep beneath the surface, marked only by the towering spires of the superstructure of a long-wrecked spacecraft.


We've taken this and fluffed the world as three parts Kowloon, two parts Hong Kong, and ten parts Cyberpunk Necromunda. Descendants the crew of a gigantic mining vessel that crashed on an inhospitable planet and survived despite it all. This has lead to a severe division between the upper hive nobility, the mid hive working class, and the low hive gangers and scum, and much worse.

So feel free to join in and provide fluff, images or whatever you'd like. This belongs to /tg/

Remember: At this point we're basically fluffing a WH40k TTRPG setting. Stay focused, read the previous threads, etc etc
>>
>>45684137
Last Thread.
>>45669604

And the previous threads.
>>45591559
http://boards.4chan.org/tg/thread/45481136#top
http://boards.4chan.org/tg/thread/45493144#top
http://boards.4chan.org/tg/thread/45506052#top
http://boards.4chan.org/tg/thread/45523520/hua-yuan-riccianon#top
http://boards.4chan.org/tg/thread/45557612#top

Try and read these, today I'm going through and sprucing up the Wiki. Feel free to walk behind me and clean things up, I fucking suck.
>>
We could use some more notable locations. Anythings good. Could have to do with industry, poorfags, praetorians, anything
>>
Feel free to comment on anything, from the Regiment to gangs, but here's some discussion starters for the topic on hand:
>What's the local Mechanicus cult like, other than Daft Punk-y and chrome?
>What's the life span of a Hua Yuanese citizen?
>Every firstborn goes to fight and die for the Imperium, what's the secondborn do?
>What are Hua Yuanese Manufactoriums like?
>What's "hip" nowadays?
>What are some famous figures in Hua Yuanese society?
>Are there Hrud n the lower levels?
>Just how feral are the feral orks? How did they get there?
>How big is the hive?
>What's going on outside the hive?
>What do the more freethinking Hua Yuanese think of Xenos? Filthy non humans to be purged or those assholes that keep breaking their cabbage stalls whenever they crop up?
>Whats in the orbit of Hua Yuan?
>Why are none of the other moons inhabited?
>>
I'd say the praetorian embassy is one of the most fuck huge building on the hive because they just built it on top when arrived. Also there is small only Praetorian space station in orbit that serves as an only praetorian spaceport and carries orbital bombardment weaponry as a "fail safe" against the many minor insurrections and 'Nid breakouts of the hive
>>
>>45684238
Space ports (original, newly built by Imperium, military, commercial), Imperial Governors Palace / Praetorian Garrison and muster point, Transport Artery Carotis and Femora (vast transport tunnel linking uphive/space port with mid hive, and mid hive with low hive, Brimstone Cantons / The Wreck of the Brimstone [spaceship], Reactor Primus, many Imperial Guard bases, the Grand Cathedral of St Matthias, Mechanicus geology research outpost Zeroth, Shrine of Saint [whoever], actively exploited mine shafts, sites of particularly nasty 'nid battles.

I'm planning out a brief piece of writing for Dark Heresy involving the Ecclesiarchy, and I had planned to have the Grand Cathedral be the main convent for the Ecclesiarchy on planet. It would be the first thing people see from the original space port, similar to St Peter's Square in the Vatican if there was a space elevator at the end of the road rather than the rest of Rome.

The wrecked Galaxy ship didn't have a name yet, so I called it "The Brimstone" as a nod and a wink to HMS Sulpher
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Sulphur_%281826%29
>>
>>45684531
None of the Praetorians would want to muddy their boots by stepping on world, unless they absolutely must.

Almost all Praetorians are garrisoned upon the space station, with some in the Brigade HQ
>>
Reposting shitscribble because I quite like these ideas

>>45682673
>>45682795
>>
>>45684552
That was me, by the way. I was thinking of using these girls in addition to Famulous, Hospitaller and Sabine
http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Order_of_the_Bloody_Rose
>>
>>45684552
I like "The Brimstone" is it wiki worthy?
>>
>>45684621
I really want this guy to become an urban legend, he reminds me of the burning wizard guy in the middle of the smoldering corpse bar in planetscape: torment.
>>45684413
>What's "hip" nowadays?
Posting some mid-low hive vibes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB6AHhNLBqk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skX73x48SDE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgJU96KxuaY (recommended)

Bonus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy1dYFGkPUE
>>
>>45684748
Everything is wikiworthy. No detail too small.

This meme that certain things don't need to be added to the wiki is awful
>>
>>45684778
Also, imagine bloodthirsty gangs beating the shit out of people with this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWaWsgBbFsA&ebc
I feel like writefags could get a ton of inspiration from that video
>>
What letters go before imperial non military ships is there an S.S. equivalent?
>>
>>45684778
>Im
>Fucking
>Plying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vifsqv_QXB0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU8HrO7XuiE
>>
File: Necromunda Hive Primus.jpg (527 KB, 1799x2560)
527 KB
527 KB JPG
>>45684748
I assumed it would come up along the lines of

>The Universe-class Mass Conveyor "The Brimstone" crashed onto Hua Yuan's surface at some point in the mid-35th millennium, around the same time Imperial contact with the colony world was lost. By the end of the 41st millennium the ship's hull had become fully integrated with the upper levels of the hive, and its once vast cargo holds have become cantons for the distant descendants of the original crew.

>>45684788
Its more useful if its given some context though.
>>
>>45684931
>vapourwave
Well memed, bro.
>>
File: Blanche - Hive.jpg (199 KB, 1280x360)
199 KB
199 KB JPG
>>45684894
I'm 99% sure there's no established rules for that. I mean, you can assume there's a long Administratum identification code for all the paperwork, because there always is, but most ships in the fluff just have a name.
>>
>>45685165
Memes aside, it's a great song brah
>>
>>45685230
Meh, pls gib Psytrance or good ol Rave.

Gabba/Hardcore/Industrial is fine too.
>>
>>45685289
Not the guy you're talking to, but post some of that shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr90nbqxuZk
>>
>>45685306
Sounds a bit more like electro house to me, but I'm okay with this.
>>
>>45684238
The Diamond's Edge

>Fast, fast, fast. Not enough fast in Hua Yuan. Sure you wanna race on the Megaways? You go ahead, Báichī. The Arbites and the Enforcers will be on your ass 'bout halfway down the track. Wanna weave in and out of the lowers? Shiit, yeah okay. Give the Ronin and the 'Stealers my regards. Racing Uphive?! The hell are you, eh, rich or suicidal? If you're the first...comin' down here means you're the second.

>Naw, naw gēgē, there's only one place where you can get some speed in your heart, where you can lick the danger off a hooker's tits, and where mach five is slow as hell. The Diamond's Edge. Best racetrack in the Eastern Fringe. Sure It's no Terra Circuit, or even the Asphalt, but the Diamond's Edge is about the only place in this asshole of a sector where you can put the pedal to the metal. A race track built into the earth, using some caverns that were already there, or something.

>Better bring your ride and your yen, gēgē.
>>
>>45684413
>Every firstborn goes to fight and die for the Imperium, what's the secondborn do?

This got me thinking on a weird path, what kinda anticonceptives do these guys have? do they have a "certain amount of kids allowed" policy?
How common is it for babies to just die minutes after being born because the families don't have the resources to maintain them? How often are kids stolen by gangs to later make them sex workers? How the fuck do you survive as a kid in Hua Yuan? Do they have some sort of daycare thing? Maybe the Magnanimous gangs help out with this?
Living in such a shithole as a kid and surviving is a miracle. this got really dark
>>
>>45685650
鑽石之刃, not bad.

哥哥 doesn't exactly mean "bro", more like actual family relationships.
I'd go for 老兄 (Lao Xiong) or in my native tongue 阿哥 (Ah Xor)
>>
>>45685665
Didn't we run the math and find out with existing populations and the rough number of regiments that less than 5% of firstborn are actually drafted assuming max regiment size , so mostly draft dodging and being too rich to be drafted are the primary hobbies on Hua Yuan, I imagine on the middle class really get drafted as imperial record on them will be good enough to conduct a draft, If you live in the underhive you are basically unknown so admitting that you are firstborn is basically volunteering.

I imagine gang leaders having "firstborn duels" were the loser must admit that they are first born and be drafted.
>>
>>45685937
I seem to recall something like that, yeah. I know we definitely came to the conclusion that most of the actual firsties are middlehivers because they've got the least control over their own destinies and the most complete paper trails, whereas the upper class can do things to weasel out of it and the lower orders just get recruited willy nilly to make quota and reduce population pressure (because really, who cares about hivescum?)
>>
>>45686099
I like how most Exterminators are just well trained middle class regular dudes, it's very much like most 1st world militaries today but from a planet that utterly sucks
>>
>>45686099
Not what I meant to upload, but OK.

Found this in one of the old threads.
>Anyone who volunteers is a first born doing their duty to the emperor. Anyone who flees the recruiting sergeant is a coward attempting to escape their duty. Anyone who claims that they are not firstborn but cannot provide papers to prove it is a liar. Anyone in possession of such papers is a forger.
>>
File: Dredd_it's_the_law.jpg (297 KB, 1080x751)
297 KB
297 KB JPG
>>45686262
It makes sense if only out of sheer laziness - you *could* go down to the lowhive and try and catch heavily armed scum and those too malnourished to escape, or maybe head uphive and get involved in a thousand year vendetta among people who can buy and sell you a thousand times over, but given there's all these guys just off the main artery just sitting there...

If there's specific populations they're trying to recruit for whatever reason they might make more of an effort. Like deliberately going after people for recon squads, or invading a noble cluster with a full complement of Arbites to make a point that nobody is beyond the Law.
>>
Actually, there's a thought - Inheritance law. Nobles would have to have pretty good genealogies and family trees anyway to at least try and not cause massive inbreeding. Someone is going to be recording births diligently, and the younger sons and daughters are going to have enormous incentives to make sure their elder siblings are out of the way nice and legally.
>>
>>45686099
>Tanks and trucks rolling into the underhive
>Arbites and commissars reading off writs of conscription
>En mase recruitment.
>>
File: razorgirl.png (108 KB, 800x600)
108 KB
108 KB PNG
Since there's no Razorgirl drawfagging i decided to do some myself, here's one of them sporting shitty Hua Yuanese bionics, maybe in a bar or something, since i drew her with casual clothing. does the imperial guard use dogtags?

Also, whoever updated the wiki page with the new coat of arms, it looks awesome.
>>
File: pit slave chief.jpg (30 KB, 413x420)
30 KB
30 KB JPG
>>45686645
The best part there is that anyone who resists is breaking Imperial Law regarding the tithing of troops, and must therefore be punished. Death or enlistment in a penal brigade, either way works out fine.

>>45686696
Yes, they do traditionally have some form of ident tag. And those actually look quite high grade, all things considered. Its got actual fingers rather than just a giant sword on a stick, for one thing.
>>
>>45686696
Guy who made the coat of arms here, thanks man.
Glad you liked it!

I was worried that it looked too half-assed back them, good thing it turned out alright (I hope)
>>
>>45686540
So the super wealthy nobles who like their kid send "donations" to the regiments in exchange for their "forgetfulness". The less wealthy noble firstborns are trained from birth to be soldiers and officers, if they want to inherit they need to survive their period of service. If they die the inheritance goes to the secondborn.
>>
>>45686696
Since she has high grade bionics, maybe she was a quite skilled/talented pit fighter?
>>45686797
It looks great alteast to me, you did a much better job than i would have, atleast.
>>
>>45686897
I meant to reply to
>>45686784
In the first part
>>
File: Bh96Cfp.png (2.51 MB, 1600x900)
2.51 MB
2.51 MB PNG
>>45686863
>they want to inherit they need to survive their period of service. If they die the inheritance goes to the secondborn.

Realistically most people don't survive, and those that do don't often end up making it back home. Its more likely inheritance is decided by election, seniority, or a form of gavelkind, Or even survival of the fittest, winner takes all open succession bloodbaths, which is one way to make sure you get a nice quiet apartment

http://www.ckiiwiki.com/Succession.
>>
>>45684413

>What's the local Mechanicus cult like, other than Daft Punk-y and chrome?

Bear in mind that there was most likely a mechanicus cult on the Brimstone when it crashed, over the millennia they spent apart from the imperium they've most likely deviated a great deal.

I'd imagine there's be a distinction between the old mechanicus of Hua Yuan and the new Mechanicus who came with the praetorians. The old mechanicus would have a strong presence on Hua Yuan, they'd be accepted and relied upon by the people. The new mechanicus, while officially have greater authority, have little actual power or influence on Hua Yuan, this is further limited by the Praetorians unwillingness to "Rock the Boat" on the issue. This divide would explain much of the borderline tech heresy on Hua Yuan, it has the blessing of the old mechanicus and is thus deemed acceptable.
>>
>>45686696
God bless, Drawfag
>>
>>45685650
>>45686645

Okay, we need something clarified.

Empty space is a luxury in Hua Yuan. Every square metre is being used by someone to sleep in work in or store something, sometimes three of those things by several people. It's claustrophobic even by hive standards and one of the densest cities in the imperium.
In thread 2 or 3 we vetoed jetpacks because we deemed the hive to dense for them to be useful, the enforcers would be parkouring through the crowded streets because there wouldn't be enough space for APCs.

Is this still the case?

A number of anons have introduced bikers, highways and other bits like that, we need to be clear about what is and isn't possible in Hua Yuan.
>>
>>45687585
It is still the case, we can't just go around retconning stuff because we feel like it, but perphaps highways are a necessity, maybe only 1 to 3 exist, and are very narrow?
>>
File: AdMech_Techpriest.jpg (455 KB, 1085x1594)
455 KB
455 KB JPG
>>45687071
One thought I was playing around with was that the original cadre of techpriests have long, long died out, and the reason Hua Yuan’s tech is so universally crap is that they’re working on incomplete hand-me-down plans that were inexpertly taught in the first place.

>The first Imperial colony on Hua Yuan was only blessed with a single member of the Cult Mechanicus to oversee the more complex technolgical processes involved in establishing the settlement. The mines and processing facilities were instead run by lay tech adepts belonging to the mining guilds. Because of the relatively small size of the colony it was decided that it was not worth investing in a full temple-forge for the planet, and instead replacement Enginseers would be brought in from the nearest Forge World. This would prove, in the long term, to be a mistake.

>As a vast starship, the Universe Class Mass-Conveyer "The Brimstone" did have a reasonably large complement of techpriests. It seems likely that once the planet became cut off from the Imperium this cadre was instrumental in repairing damage to the hive and, once it became clear that they would be unable to leave the world, beginning the process of integrating their former ship into the city.
>>
File: Kal Jericho 35.jpg (637 KB, 1016x1594)
637 KB
637 KB JPG
>>45688190
>While the Brimstone's Adepts were clearly pragmatic, they were also all faithful initiates of the Mechanicus mystery cult. From scattered historical accounts and surviving scraps of original records, it seems that the techpriests decided that they were unable to initiate new members into the mysteries of the cult and therefore unable to train new apprentices to carry on their legacy. Realising that this would be a death sentence for the other inhabitants of Hua Yuan, it appears as though they taught the lesser mysteries and some manufacturing patterns to key guilds and noble families; not enough that they could challenge the Adeptus, but enough to ensure the population could be armed and the hive continue to grow indefinitely in their absence.

>The techpriests held off death for as long as they could with mysterious drugs and ever-increasing amounts of bionics, but eventually time won out. When it looked like the inevitable was going to happen, the few remaining techpriests (some now quite insane) had their bodies put into cryostasis or had their heads turned into datum drones, in the hope that one day their precious knowledge could be returned to the Cult Mechanicus.

>In the intervening centuries the exact location of where these techpriests lie has been lost. Were it not for the occasional discovery of datum drones and mechanicus archeotechnology it is quite probably the story would be dismissed as legend. The Mechanicus Adepts who have come to Hua Yuan since its return to the Imperium keep close tabs on stories which they hope could lead them to their predecessors, and Explorators lead expeditions into the badlands of the planet to search for them. The latter frequently bring with them the crews of Rouge Trader vessels, who may not believe the stories told to them by their client enginseers but who are always willing to hunt for buried treasure.
>>
>>45687585
>>45687948
Middle Hive is the most dense, followed by low hive, underhive is mostly free space, upper hive is dense, but largely sweeping Gothic spaces as is typical noble imperial fashion.

Megaways can connect parts of the Continent sized Hive as an eternal highways.

Redline racetrack can be in the underhive.
>>
>>45687948
They need a means of moving goods and people round the hive. Highways would imply they have the space to store a personal vehicle and the wealth to afford one, limiting their use to the upper hive. Given it's a hive it'd make more sense to use elevator and sliders(?) between places.

They arrive at certain floors and hab blocks at certain times each day, you've got a set amount of time to board and have to pay for the volume you and your luggage are taking up. The impoverished are confined to their floor, dreaming of someday having the thrones to travel up. Travelling down, however is usually cheaper. Travel to the underhive is almost free, why you would want to go there only the emperor knows.
>>
File: strreet in india.jpg (244 KB, 640x480)
244 KB
244 KB JPG
>>45688471
>>45687948
>>45687585

Massive populations require massive transportation hubs, massive population with small streets is just people sitting around.

there are highways are just in general quite congested and just full of people walking
>>
>>45688471
>Middle Hive is the most dense, followed by low hive

I'm not sure about that. People would want to be in the middle hive, but those who can't make it would be forced down to the lower hive. They'd be different type of density.

The middle with things and shops and equipment and everything related to the myriad of vendors and manufacturers operating there. The lower hive would just be dense with people and the debris of poverty.
>>
File: smirking necron.jpg (18 KB, 300x280)
18 KB
18 KB JPG
>>45684413
>>What's going on outside the hive?
>>
>>45689147
toxic burning gas a couple outcast mutant settlements, some wild 'nids from previous invasions.
>>
>>45689147
Outside the Hive?
Ongoing construction. The Hive grows outwards and upwards as voidsuited construction crews cling to the outer walls and make piecemeal additions to the hive.
The upper hive inhabitants enjoy being at the top, curtailing efforts to build above their blocks, the result is the Hive looks less like the classic spire and more like a blob with a pointy top.
>>
We keep talking about Hab-Blocks, did we decide on the size of a Hab-block?

Would Kowloon city be the equivalent of one Hab-block or several?
>>
>>45684413
I would imagine that the local Mechanicus is much more accepting of innovation and individuality than the rest of the Imperium. Given that we're talking a planet with extremely limited Mechanicus support at the outset, and then The Brimstone crashed into it, and suddenly you have a bunch of Mechanicus that have (probably,) not much comparative experience in manufacturing stuff, manufacturing stuff. I expect jury rigged parts and maybe some sort of patent system, wherein individual adepts are rewarded every time their particular part or mechanism or machine is utilized, or fabricated. It explains why there are "HY-Grade Las Weapons," instead of a "Hua Yuan Pattern Las Rifle" or what have you - a widely dispersed group of tech priests all attempting to solve the same problem with similar, degrading resources, and coming to similar conclusions via vastly different routes. Like hackerspaces, almost.
I do like >>45687071
The idea of a local Cult with little official sway but lots of unofficial pull and a ruling, immigrant Cult with all the official power is neat.
>>
>>45689551
It was stated that it looks like a giant ass boxy thing with a main Spire and several auxiliary spires.
>>
>>45686696
I'll draw them if I ever get my scanner working
>>
>>45690046
>>45686784

Didn't Arbites Anon say they had decent Augs?

And Archive Rat, you able to do any wiki diving?
>>
>>45690215
I was messing around on there earlier, added some stuff like the infobox and cleaned up the table, and just added some misc stuff. I guess I could read through a thread or two
>>
>>45690307
Working on a doctrine section. Some help with this would be fantastic
>>
>>45690392
What do you have so far?
>>
>>45690428

I'm starting with urban warfare, then expanding on siege warfare, then going into their less notable stuff like bike recon, Stormtrooper and Grenadier doctrine, and line infantry.

And I mean with the wiki itself. If there's anything I can write, it's doctrine.
>>
>>45690583
Well, I think there needs a fuckload much more written about the exterminators themselves, but I don't want to add anything without everyone's consent. What should I add about them you guys?
>>
>>45691121
About the 1st? Next thread can be about them for sure. Then maybe one last thread.

I think we're getting to a pretty done state.
>>
>>45691426
No, there's like a paragraph about the whole concept of exterminators itself. I think that should be expanded on greatly, since its the reason for all of this and the subject of the wiki page

but yeah, the 1st also needs more about it
>>
File: razorgirl 2.png (183 KB, 800x600)
183 KB
183 KB PNG
Another razorgirl, drawfagging is fun.
>>45687075
I'll be a gloryfag until the day i die.
>>
>>45691514
Too easy, give me a minute.
>>
>>45691538
I believe you, man
>>
>>45691519
Do you guys like this sort of straight out of the pit kind of look for them, or would you prefer something more like they are more official guardsmen?
>>
>>45692071
Half way in between. You can tell that they've been through stuff in the past, if that makes sense
>>
>>45691514

>The concept of the Exterminator combat doctrine is evolution in its purest form. Before the Praetorians discovered the lonely moon, the gangs and sects ruled the hive, whilst the proto-nobility manipulated these forces against each other to maintain their power. The Exterminator practice of free-running was born in this urban crucible, sliding around the sloped sides of the burgeoning hive, and sprinting in and out of the metal labyrinth the quickest and easiest way around the wreck of the Brimstone. Once the hive blossomed in full the art of freerunning, known as Yùnxíng miǎnfèi or simply Yunyun in the hive, expanded. Some gangs are legendary for their acrobatic ability, especially in the upper levels of the mid-hive, where one can better jump off roofs and actually get some air.

>>45691951
Lol sorry, had to do some research. Consider this part one

>>45692071
In between. And with more trophies, skulls, teeth, bits of armor sanctified with purity seals, looted knives and swords, stuff like that. No shuriken catapults or anything like that. That's heresy.
>>
>>45692165
>>45692111
>>45692071
And tattoos/etchings in their bionics, as well as rebreathers or masks. The air quality in Hua Yuan is shit and breathing masks are common, remember?
>>
>>45691519
And suicide collars. Maybe more upscale bionics?
>>
>>45692165
Thanks, man. Space Jesus would be proud

Side note: Where should we put the stuff like neon tattoos? Regiment culture?
>>
>>45692368
>>45692205
>>45692165
>>45692111
Alright guys, I'll draw more tomorrow so i'll keep these in mind.
>>
>>45692371
Lol I'm not done.

Yeah Regiment Culture should be a section, with general Hua Yuanese stuff like tattoos and filching stuff from the battlefield, then noting exceptions or things unique to certain units. Like Cavalry units adorning their bikes with the blood of their enemies or tankers tendency to be more "professional" than the usual Hua Yuanese regiment.
>>
>>45692437
Based drawman.
>>
>>45692516
I've got a busy day tomorrow, but I'll hop on when I can
>>
>>45692516

I wouldn't put it past the tanker crew putting pin up art on the hull. Or the bikers for that matter.

>There was certain scuffle between the Razorgirls and the 47th armored due to one of the chimera commanders putting the likeness of one of the NCOs he fancied on the hull in a "Draw me like one of your french girls" pose.

>The sergeant in question was flattered and if mildly embarrassed at the attention to detail. The Officers and grunts of the Razorgirls however, were not pleased.
>>
>>45693203
Fucking Gearies. BIONICS DON'T MAKE THE WOMAN DAMNIT.

>CPT Donghae was later beaten in his trench the following night by a 13th Penal Commisar.
>When asked why he did it the Commisar responded, "It's difficult enough to keep those bitches in line on a good day. Imagine them when they feel insulted. Had to make them feel like some measure of justice was done."
>>
>>45693203
Tagging up the property of the Emperor is one thing, since all they do is sit there and lay Siege anyway. But they don't run around getting high like the Cav scouts and their bikes or the Exterminators and whatever mysterious combat stimms they have going on there. Don't even get me started on the infantry scrubs.
>>
File: Iron Orchids 2 WIP 2.png (238 KB, 1139x1637)
238 KB
238 KB PNG
>>45691519
>>45686696
speaking of the Iron Orchids, I went ahead and took a second pass at their symbol
>>
>>45693345
See
>>45579892
>>45546606

No-one sits around. A Hua Yuan siege is all about the breaching the hive as fast as possible.
>>
File: Iron Orchids 2 WIP 2.png (3.17 MB, 760x1092)
3.17 MB
3.17 MB PNG
>>45694476
and a quick touchup
>>
File: Iron Orchids 2 WIP 3.png (152 KB, 611x722)
152 KB
152 KB PNG
>>45694566
>>45694476
another wip

getting pretty happy with it though
>>
>>45695513
It's definitely getting there. Maybe simply the skull? And definitely turn the skulls inwards, so they're radiating around Hua.

>>45694522
Did you even read what you quoted? Dude, Siege teams absolutely sit around. And siege. Which requires sitting.

I don't even know how to respond dude, jesus. Other than saying that you're wrong.
>>
>>45695575
>>45695513
or we could go nuts instead
>>
>>45692165
>The current urban fighting doctrine is also a formalized fighting style developed in the hive, where the battlefield is is not a simple plane, but a multitiered chessboard, in which the flow of battle is in constant motion. A Hua Yuanese fighter must be constantly aware of what's around them, even from above and below, hyperfocused on their surroundings. This coupled with agile troops makes for a highly reactive fighting force, never one to hold ground for long.
>The most famous aspect of Exterminator Warfare, dubbed "Color and Mayhem", was actually a product of the enforcer gangs and PDF created by the nobility. Typically gang warfare was naturally quick and violent, but without much in the way of pretense. Using concussion grenades and tear gas was the work of law enforcement. Gangers typically liked to ambush their quarry using vehicle borne improvised explosives and simple rushing assaults. The transient and quick paced flow of battle was combined with the raid style opening of combat, which ultimately co-evolved into making the battle space as usable as possible, in the Tyranid invasion.
>The Genestealer cult was quietly flourishing in the bowels of the ship, then expanded even further when the hive began to grow around the wreck. By the time the PDF and gangs where finding a common enemy in something that wasn't entirely a gang or a cult, the splinter had already found them. When the hive ships, tossed into orbit by the abating warp storms and subsequently crashing, arrived in Hua Yuan. everyone that could hold a weapon became a soldier, and the line between cult, gang, and enforcer became blurred. The unlivable atmosphere, coupled with the absolutely barren landscape forced almost all of the invasion to take place within the hive. It was here, in the event known as the Fall of Seven Walls, in which the hive was beset on all sides. The gangs, cults heretic and faithful alike, and those who upheld the law banded together to repel the Devourer.
>>
>>45695840
>Surgical precision met chaotic and frantic fighting. The gangs taught the law the delicate art of fighting dirty, and the PDF instructed the criminal element on how to properly conduct themselves in the field of battle, and the sects provided a sense of fearlessness and ruthless fanaticism that only those who believe their souls saved could.
>The Tyranid threat forced them into a cohesive fighting force, and in a surprising show of solidarity, all levels of the hive where fighting as one. The Hive Mind saw that mass formations of swarming hives was proving to be ineffective, as the humans were willing to incinerate entire Hab-Blocks to deny the swarm biomass. Forced to assimilate whole cells of the genestealer cult in order to keep numbers up. Rather quickly the Hve Mind adjusted its tactics, shifting resources from ranged bioforms to more specialized bioforms such as Lictor and Genestealer broods capable of assassinating whole command structures and carnifex broods that were capable of dismantling entire hab blocks by themselves. This change in warfare caught the Hua Yuanese off guard, and the defensive was slowly becoming dismantled from within by genestealer hybrid infiltrators and assassin bioforms.
>>
>>45695660
varia suit color scheme
>>
>>45696334
My Salamander battle brotha!
>>
>>45696334
>>45695660
and finally, honest to god orchid colors

any preference?

anything that should be changed in general?
>>
>>45696179
>One invention finally turned the tide of war. The genesis of this dubiously heretical combat stim is shrouded in mystery, but its use was the catalyst that drove the Tyranid threat into near extinction. Named Xenon after the pale glow it exhibits when it it is first made similar to the element of the same name, Tyranid Dust was used to root out Hybrid's in their ranks. Although higher generations of hybrid could escape the notice of individuals under the effects of Xenon, the use of the drug saved untold lives and prevented a plethora of assassinations that would have spelled the end of the fledgling hive.

>With Xenon in the arsenal of the most dedicated fighters, they developed the less famous style of fighting that gave them their name. Exterminatus.
>>
>>45696553
Swap the positions of 蘭 and 鐵
(read: those 2 Chinese characters on the left)
Right now I'm registering it as Orchid Iron
>>
>>45696782
aight, looking good now?

also cleaned up a shitload of stray pixels, aligned the text and fixed the boarders

I'm feeling like this is the final version

excluding the colors maybe though I love varia suit colors
>>
>>45696889
Needs a Gothic 13. I would add skulls to the other two petals, the looks Nurgalite right now.

Turn the Skulls inward. Go with plain black and white with read Hua Yuan character
>>
>>45696688
>The fighters realized, like so many before them, that the only way to defeat the enemy before them was by being relentless in their removal. They had but one choice; to extinguish the Tyranid threat completely, no matter the cost, no matter how. To this end the element Kaihonium was used as a cheap alternative to Holy Promethium, entire floors set ablaze with green, orange, blue, and pink fluorescent flame.
>Others sealed off hab-blocks systematically and flooded them with poisons. Every time they would concocted a new breed of toxic fume, and they would unleash it upon the enemy, rarely allowing the Hive Mind to adjust to their tools of extermination.
>Hunting them through the hive these exterminators razed the city. When they could pinpoint a brood they would descend upon their quarry like hawks, busting into a hab-block and clearing it out of any and all life. If they could not find the source of the infestation they would simply ignite the area, or conduct horrifying chemical and biological warfare.
>It was an effective strategy, and soon the brood found itself with too little biomass to continue the offensive. The tyranids fled underground, deep within the world's crust.
>The Exterminators helped rebuild and rooted out what they believed to be the last of the Tyranids. When the Praetorians finally arrived they were inducted into the Imperial Guard wholesale, the enigmatic mob boss Yeoh Hong forged into a commanding officer for the regiment, and one of the most famous figures in the division.
>>
>>45696953
I don't know what you mean by making the skulls "turn inward"

like, you want them to face towards the middle?
>>
>>45697069
Yeah, the teeth pointing at the Chinese character.
>>
>>45697083
how's about this?

don't worry about the colors for now
>>
>>45697197
alternately
>>
>>45695513
Have you thought about doing a simplified version, like the basic Cadian Gate in this picture?

Its nice as regimental standard kind of thing, the sort you'd see on a big banner held with all the other Regiments in a mustering hall or on parade, but it'd be murder to try and apply to thousands of Flak pads, especially for a regiment that's basically created to die horribly.
>>
File: Cadian 8th.jpg (115 KB, 897x638)
115 KB
115 KB JPG
>>4569754
Doi, missed out some words, I mean the basic Cadian gate on the shoulderpads - you can see the Regiment's proper banner in the background, but all the soldiers have a basic "gate with skull" pattern on their right pad.
>>
>>45690215
Of course they have good bionics, they're his special snowflakes.
>>
Dude, I get that he wrote a bit of of a girl power Mary Sue faggotry, but it was a very good first effort and he took all the criticism well. I personally enjoyed it.

As a writefag criticism is crushing even when it's 100% constructive and correct. Just jabbing at the guy and mocking his work way after the fact is in poor taste. Don't be That Guy

write on abites anon

keep being a faggot no matter what they say
>>
Anyone have any little tid bits of lore that you guys remember or want to add?
>>
>>45698675
Maybe tackling a few of these?
>>45684413
>>
>>45698080
Not that anon, but instead of a plasma cannon, you could've given her a simple plasma gun.
>>
>>45699851
Shucks, I didn't even see those! I'll try in a sex, when I get back on my battlestation
>>
>>45699851
I meant if anyone remembered something they liked that they felt was glossed over
>>
>>45697197
I'm not the guy you were talking to, but i think you should try out the idea of the skulls pointing at the center instead of the skull with wings.

>>45684413
And to get the conversation going, i think we should talk about this:
>What are some famous figures in Hua Yuanese society?
>What's the life span of a Hua Yuanese citizen?

What does an *average* citizen do throughout his day?

>>45701756
One anon talked about scrappers, basically some dudes on the, maybe, toxic parts of the moon that are below the hive that normal people wouldn't expand into, these guys picked up trash and scrap (duh) and maybe made weapons to sell to the gangs.
>>
>>45702405
>scrappers
Don't know about weapons part, but totally makes sense. The place has limited resources, more crude versions of recycling would be nessicary for these guys. Maybe they're like the untouchables?
>>
>>45684413
>>What's the life span of a Hua Yuanese citizen?
I'm calling 63 to 84 years, but take killings and plague into account, probably something more in the late 40s

>Famous Figures
The Captain of the Hua Yuan before it became a city is like an Oda Nobunaga, where we did set up the colony, but he also crashed the ship and got everyone stuck on some shitty moon. Probably needs a name

>Just how feral are feral orks? How did they get there?
Incoming merchant ships with Ork spores in the cargo holds. These orks were probably only ever able to take root in some of the lowest levels of the Hive, where a lot of the filth and trash go. I'd imagine they're extremely tribal, probably without dakka and only bladed weapons. Maybe they've grown pale from lack of light and interaction with any other living thing? They could work like sewer gators, an urban legend you tell kids.

>How big is the Hive
Well, the Universe class ship is nearly twelve kilometres long and capable of holding up to 500,000 passengers, so I figure its close to something like 400 kilometers (New York is 490) with a shitton of people

>What do they think of xeno
Ranging from offworld curiosity bordering on myth, to "burn and purge"

>What's in the orbit of Hua Yuan?
A lot of human debris and space rocks, along side a Praetorian station where they "govern" the Hive

>Why are none of the other moons inhabited?
Hua Yuan is the closest one to having a breathable atmosphere. All the others are much like our moon.


Can someone remind me what Hrud are?
>>
File: Hrud.jpg (85 KB, 600x800)
85 KB
85 KB JPG
>>45703409
I'm really not feeling the orks. Like, at all.

Also the colony was founded by one group, the ship came a bit later (probably to carry the mineral products, given that its a mass conveyor)

Hrud are these guys
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Hrud

Very minor alien species, probably intended to be space skaven originally.

>>45702405
Scrappers could be just a name given to people who fall off the bottom of society and are probably mutants or worse. Same deal as Necromunda Scavvies (from scavengers) with a bit more emphasis on scrap metal.
>>
>>45703710
>>45703409
How about Hrud instead of the orks? sounds much better and less like "let's put everything cool in this!"

Also, scrappers being their own thing separate from necromunda guys would be great, i don't think we want to make everything like necromunda, the concept of the scrappers is pretty good like it is now anyway.
>>
>>45703710
>Also the colony was founded by one group, the ship came a bit later (probably to carry the mineral products, given that its a mass conveyor)
Wait, so it's no longer a crashed colony ship? When did this happen?
>>
>>45703942
I'm pretty sure that the crashed ship thing has been since the first thread. It's a hive built around a crashed ship, no?
>>
>>45703969
Yes. I don't know where this blatant retconning is coming from.
>>
>>45704011
I just thought I missed something.
>>
>>45703874
I honestly think having Tyranids infestation and unclassifiable mutants and hybrids as the main enemy works fine. I mean, there's a shitload of freaky mutants in all hives and forgotten bits of ships that have nothing whatsoever to do with Chaos, and there are also definitely Tyranid hybrids and cultists doing darstadly things.


>>45703942
As I understand it, current fluff is that the colony was established to mine the world, it was ticking along OK, something causes one of their supply/pickup ships to crash and cuts them off from the Imperium, God knows how long later they make contact again. Bit like the Tau discovery > rediscovery. The ships still there, its still an integral part of the world, its just the original hive existed a bit before it landed.

>>45703969
>>45704011
Its been there since early on. Its one of the reason there's a difference between "starborn" nobles and the regular kind who predate them.
>>
>>45704084
The way I understood it was that the ship was meant to establish a mining colony, and ended up crashing (fortunately or unfortunately) on a somewhat breathable moon with resources with some value. I've been in every thread btw
>>
>>45704154
I agree with this, I've been since the first thread too.
>>
>>45704202
>>45704154
This needs to be on the wiki, by the way, i've seen a lot of people confused about this bit.
>>
>>45704154
I've been here since the beginning too. I like there being what amount to waves of immigration because you can have slightly different noble groups who look down on each other.

I know it was proposed in one of the earlier threads, when we moved from it being a really recent hive with only one regiment. Having a look now.
>>
Found it.
https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/45523520/#45538175

Starts there. The starborn / Original families / Imperial folk broad categorisation came in one of the next ones.
>>
>>45704383
>>45704297
>>45704274
>>45704202
>>45704154
What matters most is what's agreed upon. Which version is preferred?
>>
>>45704297
>>45704274
>>45704202
>>45704154
Warpstorms cut off the Brimstone from the rest of the Imperium, that's why there's so many wierdo cults.

>>45704383
The original families where those that started boarding in the ship, Starborn where ones that cropped up during the voyage.
>>
>>45704431
>>45704423
This
>>
>>45703874
Im game for the hrud. I like all the minor xenos, and these guys seem fine for a gutter monster
>>
>>45704423
Personally, I like there being two waves of immigration before the Imperium cut off and recontact. There's more room for historic differences between the ship people and the originals over who is more important, so even a family who were once bilgerats think of themselves as equal to dukes. I also like the idea that there was a way it was supposed to go, all planned out and nice and starting to develop properly, and then a bloody great ship falling into it forced a rethink. There's less reason for it to be a coincidence that they happened upon a rich mineral seam to crash on and stay on to mine.
>>
>>45704663
Could always phrase it like an urban legend or hearsay, I suppose. That's the way the rpgs and the fluff sourcebooks like Index Astartes phrase stuff like this, it'd be something like "hooded figures with bizarre weaponry are rumoured to haunt the shadowy depths of the Plothookium sector of the hive city. Inquisitor Hurp of the Ordo Xenos is convinced that the figures bear all the signs of being genestealer cultists or perhaps the vile Hrud, while his rival Inquistor Durp of the Ordo Hereticus loudly claims them to be chaos mutants and urges the praetorian government to pursue an active policy of purges. Both Inquisitors have sent their acolytes into the area to resolve the issue."

Multiple choice plothooks, that's the stuff. Means people can want whatever they want for their games
>>
>>45704796
I don't see much reason to change it just for some people to argue who's more important on the colony. If anything you can just have some desendents be washups who try to act like they're important despite being no better than a commoner
>>
>>45704423
I like the colony already being there when the ship crashes. A lot tinier than it gets later, mind you.
>>
File: razorgirl 3.png (223 KB, 800x1000)
223 KB
223 KB PNG
>>45692437
Alright, this took me a while but i'm very happy with how it turned out, I imagine her as an important part of the girls, but i can't think of a name. What should i draw now?
>>
>>45704937
>>45704937
Yeah, it also means that it doesn't warrant an official investigation, so it won't attract more imperial attention


Speaking of imperial attention, did we ever decide on the sisters of battle?
>>
>>45704663
I'm down for Hrud as well,
>>
>>45704423
I like a crashed colony ship only. I think it works best.
>>
Why the hell are people making waves?

The Brimstone crashed into Hua Yuan and a colony formed in and around it. Warpstorms, the same which cut off the Tau, cover the sector. They abate, Tyranids catch up with their Genestealer bros, then the Praetorians come.

This has been the story for awhile.
>>
Alright, we have two notable gangs. Want to roll to make a third, just to test out the table?
>>
>>45705186
I think Riccianon was writing that, because he'd done a lot of the heavy lifting on it already.

On the ship thing, one possible compromise would be to have multiple origin stories. I mean, its been there thousands of years, right? That I know got fixed, even if the exact dates never quite got nailed down. That's a hell of a long time for different stories to develop. Some people say its a mistake this place was ever settled in the first place, others that its all the fault of the ship dwellers things went wrong,

>>45705653
A week ago the going story was there was a small colony, then the ship. Same thread the Tau warp storm idea first gets floated, in fact.
>>
>>45705878
>>45705653
I really don't like the small colony thing. I agree with arbites, ship only
>>
>>45705920
Also agreed.

A large colony ship crashes and the people then dig deep to expand.
>>
>>45705878
No.

>>45705920
This is the official story. I'm tired of these cop out answers like "Well there can be multiple origin stories lol" and "Well we can leave things open for GMs!"

Every good setting has hard boundaries and things set in stone so GM's have things to build off of.

Let's move on to the next issue.
>>
>>45706469
>>45705859
>>
>>45706710
Sounds good to me.

Also
>>45692165
>>45695840
>>45696179
>>45696688
>>45696998

Anythoughts on this?

>>45697587
Fuck you too, bud.
>>
>>45705859
Ok let's do it

dice+1d100
>>
>>45707269
thats not how you dice
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>45707292
Not that anon but anyways
>>
File: They ate Ugzob!.jpg (893 KB, 2592x1936)
893 KB
893 KB JPG
>>45684413
>>What do the more freethinking Hua Yuanese think of Xenos? Filthy non humans to be purged or those assholes that keep breaking their cabbage stalls whenever they crop up?

Depends on who you talk to. Higher up, you'll find that people generally despise xenos for various reasons feeling all need to be eliminated.

Lower down however, depending on sentience of said xenos, they may be regarded anywhere from 'odd looking customer' to 'food'.

The latter seems to be the more favored choice. Feral Orks tend not to travel alone as individiuals more often than not 'disappear' into soup pots for infamous Lu Mo Tang. The practice is illegal of course, but only a token effort is made to curb such street peddlers, selling bowls of the stuff. After all, even the highest echelons of Hua Yuan's bureaucracy are lured by the rumors of it granting the consumer increased strength and virility...
>>
>>45707341
>Religious: The unique faiths of Hua Yuan lend itself to some more militant and legally dubious sects.
Sect thugs.

https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Hua_Yuan
Creation tables are at the bottom
>>
>>45707385
Gang size

1d100
>>
>>45705173
Will we need another page wiki page for the razorgirl regiment?
>>
>>45707446
nawh, just throw them under the notable regiments section and condense a little
>>
>>45707385

Has anything been written about local versions of faith? Because I have a few ideas.
>>
>>45707478
Spit em' out, my man

While doing so, roll a 1d100
>>
>>45707478
Yes, if you count the Jade Fire Sect with the punching monks, there's also the white monk sect (i don't remember the name) obsessed with things being clean, pretty sure those were heretical though, so if it doesn't interfere with those you should be fine.
>>
>>45707543
Pale Lotus sect. They're basically a bunch of clean freak gangers
>>
>>45707578
>>45707543
Just re-read it.

They're a secret Nurgle cult.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>45707385
>>45707478
There was a bit three threads back as well on deviations of the imperial faith
>>
>>45707970
I remember something about a patron saint of brotherhood. What do you remember?

And also roll another 1d100
>>
>>45707970
>Huge: (10d10x10,000)
>Territory modifier: +20

Holy shit, it's a lot of them.
roll 1d100+modifier for their territory
>>
>>45708143
also roll 10d10x10.000 for exactly how many of them
>>
Rolled 10, 3, 9, 5, 9, 1, 6, 1, 2, 9 = 55 (10d10)

>>45708196
Here's the 10d10
>>
File: IMG_0131.jpg (1.36 MB, 2112x2816)
1.36 MB
1.36 MB JPG
>>45707543
>>45707504
Alright then
>Maybe because of its founding as a mining world put it under the scrutinizing gaze of the Administratum as much as the Ecclesiarchy, or maybe the nobility wanted to create a reason for their social standing, but the underhivers have a more 'numerous' view of the Imperial Cult.

>The Emperor, according to them, is the head of a Divine Bureaucracy, with a wide array of gods serving him keeping everything moving perfectly. From his Warriors, the ascended Marines that watch the skies for Xenos attack, to the lowly bookkeepers making sure everything is accounted for, there's a god for damn near everything.

>In fact, nearly every family has a 'patron god' of their own, complete with a small shrine placed near the entrance to a household where it receives offerings of incense, and dried genestealer tongue burning to create a pleasant smell for their god.

>It is generally believed the Emperor is far beyond most, and cannot be bothered with the prayers of the mundane. In his stead, many pray to another diety who specializes in a certain field for the Emperor. Enforcers and Arbites that pick up on local customs, make a prayer every day to Chen Ducha for help in filling their arrest quotas. Gangers have Congming Guang and Congming Hou, offerings given to each for victory against rivals and law enforcement respectively.

>Regiments tend to carry a small shrine of their own, favoring one of dozens of war gods that have been added to the Divine. Sometimes it was a local folk hero, though most cases it was the legend of a Space Marine the regiment fought alongside at some point in their history, usually getting changed and embellished as it is passed along to the next generation of recruits. Such as An De Nuo, a Hua Yuan name for a Space Wolf Andenon that had saved a regiment when his biker squad ripped a gap in a line of Tyranids allowing them to escape to safety.
>>
File: hua xian.jpg (169 KB, 500x706)
169 KB
169 KB JPG
>>45708462
cont.
>The Divine Bureacracy, or 'Family gods' as the Ecclesiarchy calls them, are generally frowned upon. However most attempts to discourage their worship was met with minimal success and had a tendency to resurface again and again. After a time, it was allowed due to its relatively harmless nature. Nowadays it is not uncommon to find a shrine even in Imperial Temples, out of the way in a corner, surrounded by candles, burnt incense, with worshipers stopping by for a quick prayer, or an offering.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>45708304
550,000
Add +20 to the above result for territory size.

>>45708083
Found it
>>45573674
>>
File: Hive_world_City.jpg (215 KB, 744x528)
215 KB
215 KB JPG
Still working on the Hua Yuan Module. "Xerxes Landing"

Had trouble deciding which of the six regiments we statted would be available for play. So decided fuck it. do 'em all.

{Angles of Approach}

The Lord Commander has decided that a combined assault is the most efficient method to crack Epsilon Spire, first of the five target hives of Xerxes Landing.

----
In top to bottom order.
The Hive space port is heavily defended by Anti Aircraft weapons and Resistance ground forces. However, Our Techpriests assure us that the Targeting Cogitators for the AA emplacements has insufficent capabilites when targeting man sized targets.

As such a Grav Chute Deployment is possible. The Upper assault will be tasked to destroy or disable the AA emplacements and secure the landing pads for our dropship to stage a more through assault on the upper hive.

The 13th Penal Regiment, and the 28th Line Regiment will be spearheading this operation

---
In the center of the hive, The Commander of the 21st The Mordian Armored Regiment assures us that a sizable entry point can be made in the north side of the hive. Sizeable enough to easily become a staging point if necessary. If this can be done, The superstructure of the North side makes for a sable ramp for any mechanized unit for entry from the ground.


The 17th Hunter Killer and 912th Mechanized Infantry will secure this opening.

----
Finally, Schematics for the Hive show that the lower hive contains underground railway systems that lead to the other hives. Due to the surprisingly efficient nature of the rebel uprising, It would be logical to assume that the railways are being used as a supply line for the resistance forces.

The 27th "Tunnel Snakes" Breachers supplemented by the 4th Rapid Reconnaissance Regiment and a detachment from the 30th Exterminators to Burrow under the Hive and Secure/Disable/Destroy the railway stations to the the other hives.

The Other Regiments may reinforce the initiative of their choosing.
>>
>>45707229
My only thought is that they should be added to the wiki right away. Shits great!
>>
>>45709308
I love you man. Every post of yours has been pure quality
>>
>>45708462
First, they can't be called gods, that violates the imperial creed. It's a heresy regardless of how harmless they are, anyone caught worshiping another god is shot at best.

Secondly, look up imperial saints. It's closer to what you're describing and isn't heresy.
>>
File: NNzJ8G8.gif (484 KB, 448x223)
484 KB
484 KB GIF
>>45709888

Trips confirm the love.


I wanted to leave multiple ways to get the PC's "Feet wet". Once you get past the initial breach, It'll be a bit more standardized.

So What should i focus on first? Top, Mid or Bottom?
>>
>>45710189
Bottom, the most fun
>>
>>45710222
Sure thing i'll share my results with you guys, once i figure out how Encounters work in this system. I'm seeing lots of d100s and not a single Challenge Rating, and i dont know what to do about it!
>>
>>45709957
Well they aren't so much 'gods' as they are spirits.

Likewise they fill a similar role as saints, but the criteria for becoming one can be far more lax, or harder depending on what position they fill.
>>
>>45710280
I do know that the bottom assault is going to involve about 30 to fifty of these. And about a hundred or so Angry Akira cosplayers and Hua Yuan's finest Operators who Operate.
>>
>>45710280
It's important to remember the players aren't heroes, just the poor bastards trying to scrape through alive.

Stat out what ought to be down there and where they'd be, throw in a few weak points that can be exploited but besides that it's up to the players to nut out how they approach the situation. If they get hammered they just dig in and pray for reinforcements.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>45708831
35+20=55, rolling 1d6 Hab blocks.
>>
>>45710523
5 hab blocks. Roll 1d100 for legality
>>
File: Nano-Black_couple_darker.jpg (913 KB, 1275x1650)
913 KB
913 KB JPG
>>45709308
>>45710436
>>45710446

{The Face of the Enemy}

[Excerpt from Arbities Records]

One of the Oddest of the Hive gangs in Epsilon Spire is The Deceased. Equal parts Drug runners, and Death Cult. Every single member is addicted to their own special Chem, Emperor's Gloom. A corruption of a Medicae treatment for Radiation, this drug gives the members of The Deceased a high resistance to Radiation, and an almost petranatural ability to see clearly in near complete darkness. Side effects are hyper enrichment of the Melanin in the skin, A mild form of Bio-luminescence in the Iris, Psoriasis and Anal Seepage.

They're intensely violent, despite a relative dispassionate in demeanor. They keep to themselves mostly, but in theroy have the capabilities to take on most any other gang. and can prove a challenge to patrolling Arbities.
>>
>>45711017
Pardon me. But did you say Anal Seepage?
>>
>>45711513

High Strength medical compounds may have strong effects when used properly, but nearly all have significant side effects.


also i just wanted to add a tad of Tongue in cheek humor about drugs haveing side effects worse than what it was curing.
>>
>>45710415
Them being spirits/saints makes this much better, good writefaggotry, feel free to do more

>>45705173
What does everybody think of this btw?

>>45707378
we still have orks?

>>45711017
>fighting crazy drug running death cultists
>it reeks of shit everywhere they go
>cultists are running around with shit in their pants
>>
So to reconcile the split between Slaanesh and Genestealers.

>the Heavenly Viper Triad is the militant arm of the Genestealer cult, while the Moon Scale Sect is the mighty propaganda complex that inducts new members into the Brood and covers the tracks of the cult.

>The Sex Fangs are hard-rocking stringers. Only a couple members of the part band, part gang, part cult understand the force they evoke with their excess and music, all they know is that their Big Hot Mama keeps them parting all week long.
>>
>>45712050
No, Hrud have replaced orks.
>>
>>45712050
>it reeks of shit everywhere they go
>cultists are running around with shit in their pants
I'm concerned about where this is going.

" The cult is rumored to make use of butt plugs, removing them only to ceremonially mark their territory.
Or they just don't wear pants, preferring skirts/kilts.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>45710638
550,000 in 5 hab blocks, how large are the hab blocks again?

Are we talking a temple complex dedicated to them or just a small percentage of the population there?
>>
>>45712988
>>45711017
>>45711513
>>45712050

I edited a bit to include the phrase "In rare cases, Anal Seepage." cause yall are sick fucks. But some GMing notes for yall.
Gming Notes

The Deceased are the Hive gang that currently controls Spire Epsilon. They pursue their domination of the hive with religious fervor. While they care almost nothing for their personal lives, they don't throw themselves at the enemy needlessly, Efficient slaying of their foes is as important, if not nessiarly more important, than dying for their leader's cause.
They are also inspired by forces unseen, Local leaders are often of similar competence in the ways of war as veteran Guardsman.

Their weaponry Derives primarily from Autoguns, Stub weapons, and Hive World Oddities, Senior members may get their hands on boltgun. Some have taken to using Explosive arrows to cut down on the need for heavier weapons.

All Deceased foes have similar traits to those from a Penitent Home world (Only One Life to give, Untempered Zeal, and Blood of Martyrs). as well as The Dark Sight trait, and Resistance (Radiation).
>>
>>45712050
>>45712140

Hrud, Ork, Eldar. It doesn't matter. You'll find dried Xenos parts on the black market being peddled as aphrodisiacs and soup ingredients.
>>
>>45713128
Orks would get out of hand. No Orks.

Hrud fit into the atmosphere. Eldar is too much. Basically minor Xenos are okay and can fit in. Major ones do not, save the Tyranids.
>>
>>45713128
>>45713128
>Hey qīn! Special deal! Ground up Ork horn, is popular with the ladies!
>Ork horn? Do orks even have horns?
>Of course they do, just one! very rare, you buying qīn?
>Smells like ashes and mushrooms...
>Thats the smell of ork, buy it or get lost. I'll throw in some eldar milk if you buy right now.
>>
>>45713240
This is Hua Yuan. If it exists, it'll find its way to the black market.

Or it may just be a placebo like >>45713587
>>
File: stromtrooper13.png (343 KB, 484x280)
343 KB
343 KB PNG
Right! when i return you'll have the first Part of the module in PDF format. very shitty PDF format, but PDF format none the less.

{PART ONE: Beneath the Ground: The Trains will NOT run on time.}
>>
>>45713653
Hell it doesn't even have to be meat. It could be Xeno-tech. Or at the very least bootleg xenotech

>You said this was an Earth Caste construction drone
>>It is!
>This looks like the skull probe the local Mechanicus said was missing but painted yellow.
>>
Sorry I've been watching the oscars

I like what you guys have been doing
>>
>>45714797

You mean the White People's Choice Awards? :3
>>
>>45713661

Oooooone more thing before a PDF release for you guys,

The mission objectives

Primary Objectives:
Locate and Secure primary switching station.
Secure or disable Outbound/Inbound tunnel stations

Secondary Objectives:
Seize or Destroy any supply stockpiles
Gain Intel on Enemy Supply lines.

Tertiary Objectives:
Trophy Collection
>>
>>45715172

General Orders:
1 Minimize Damage to Hive and Manufactorum Infrastructure, unless instructed otherwise. "If it looks important, don't break it."

2, Respond to any and all priority alarms.
>>
>Day 1, or day 29 for deployment purposes

>Just got promoted. Enlisted no longer! Not that that means anything just yet. Junior NCO doesn't mean a damn thing.Whatever, I don't care. The Emperor saw fit to bless me with this opportunity, so here I am. The boys were happy enough to see me get some some stripes on my sleeve, and after we had the trenches dug we bugged out of the tents and the baijiu flowed like Xenos blood after a night on the town.

>Zhang suggested I start a journal, since I'm a Corporal now. I thought it was a pretty dumb idea but here I am. Made this out of boredom I suppose. I guess I should introduce myself? To myself? Whatever. I am Corporal Fung Lei of 1st Squad, Tiger (Tango) Company, 1st Battalion, of the- wait for it-1st Hua Yuan Exterminators. Firstborn (no shit) of a small merchant house. They deal in Xenon and Helium farming, a thoroughly over saturated market. The only thing I can honestly thank them for is literacy. It seems everyone else had already racked up a skullcount before they hit their seventeenth year and were conscripted. And the street talk, By the Emperor, it's like another language.

>Enough about me, I suppose. It's a rare thing for the 1st E to get called off world, but when we do we bring friends. Typically an armoured Regiment to lay siege to the hive if we can't just slip right in. This being one of those shitty times we have the 212th Armoured Siege Regiment parking their metal boxes over the trenches. Then we usually have an infantry or penal regiment to rush the breach and secure the area so we can get to work. Despite the reputation of Exterminator regiments, especially the 1st, we're small, some of the smallest regiments in the Astra Militarum. Typically we target Synapse creatures and the big bugs. The footsloggers can sweep up the mess.

>So here we are. Sendian XV, a mining world, the only places worth mentioning are the Hives. The place is a lot like home. Except nothing can compare to home.
>>
>>45715671
Shit, I meant junior enlisted.

I'm intimately familiar with military rank structure. Just tired
>>
>>45715172
>Tertiary Objectives:
>enforce the law
>>
>>45714847
Why wasn't there more diversity among the predominately black presenters?
>>
>>45712115
Alright, we should add a "notable gang" section to the wiki, right under Law and Order

Also, we need all of the archived threads put up as well
>>
File: 1456442506033.jpg (143 KB, 1231x648)
143 KB
143 KB JPG
Just addin some possible Inspiration work for The Razorgirls
>>
>>45716932
What are these from?! They're basically what I imagined when the idea was pitched
>>
>>45717045
I have no clue i just found them whilst looking for good cybernetics.
>>
>>45717045
Yo Anythoughts on thisguy short history
>>45707229
And this ongoing thing?
>>45715620
>>
>>45717137
Already said I liked the history. I'd have to reread it when I'm not so tired.

As for the writefaggotry, it really is great. The guy feels real, the whole thing feels natural
>>
>>45717258
Cool. I'll pick it back up tomorrow. Sleep awaits me..
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>45717137
Eagerly awaiting the next entry. Love the fact they park their armour on their trenches. Look forward to meeting his squad and the vets.

>>45713047
Law abiding bunch of fanatics, rolling leadership.
>>
>>45711017
>>45711513
>>45712050


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSdNMRtvq5g
>>
>>45715620
Fung Lei means pineapple in Taiwanese mandarin and that amuses me
>>
>>45717371
Mysterious/unknown

1d100 for dedication
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>45720567
These guys are turning into the illuminati
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>45720877
Transient membership.
This could be interesting.

Now demeanor.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>45720915
Hoping for professional
>>
>>45720995
Antagonistic

1d100 for leadership
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>45721032
Something cool please
>>
>>45721260
Religious
550,000 members
5 hab blocks
Law abiding
Mysterious/unknown
Transient membership
Antagonistic
Anarchic

I'm not sure, but I think I like em'
>>
>>45721914
>Law abiding
>Antagonistic
>Anarchic

How
>>
>>45722417
Totally random and insane?

Mentality depending on the mood or something else?
>>
>>45722417
>Law abiding
>Antagonistic
>Anarchic

How

loyal to their own code in opposition to the law, their own code is anarchic
>>
>>45722744
>>45722417

No gods or masters, just the common man.
>>
>>45723505
>>45722744

should they be a radical anarchist workers party then?
>>
>>45724385
membership is transient because you can't kill an idea.

These would make great insurgency antagonist for an urban vietnam style only war campaign
>>
>>45722744
They operate within the law, are loosely banded together, and try to manipulate things legally. They're the illuminati
>>
>>45722744
Anarchic means that there is no structure, everyone just does whatever. It's not their attitude
>>
>>45721914
They sound like an underground hippie commune or a gang of Bohemians.

They're against the status quo in principle, but they don't believe in violence, so they're fighting it with subversive art. They're most likely minor heretics.
>>
>>45728784
So....we Jet Set Radio now?
>>
>>45715620
>Day 2/30
>Leviathan hit the place hard. Thank the Emperor, Levi carapace looks fantastic on our home uniforms. And Levi bugs like to play hard to get. I'm getting giddy just thinking about it. So is the rest of the squad, but they look half 'nid themselves with all their trophies.

>First is my buddy Zhang. Corporal like me, although he’s had the rank for a little bit longer. From a lower district, father was a ganger, mother worked in a manufactorum. He doesn't talk about home all that much. We've been shoulder to shoulder since basic, but it feels like we've been brothers since birth. He's short, being a low-hiver and all. Fast too, best runner in the platoon, maybe even the company. We call him Cannonball, fitting since he's the squad demo expert. Guy can fashion a det pack out of anything. Got chromed our last deployment after the báichī stuck a bomb on a Biovore, acid ate his arm right off. We all had a good laugh after the fact, though.

>Lets see...then there’s Sergeant Ben-ji. He’s a right bastard, but he keeps us alive. Squad medic, grew up in a sect as a kid, I think. Pretty much everyone keeps their pasts to themselves. Hua Yuan forces you to grow up fast no matter where you are. The only folks that really seem to get big with their civie lives are gangers ad scum, especially the hardcore ones. Sergeant Ben-ji is not one of those guys. He’s as likely to shiv you as stitch you up, and for the love of the Emperor don’t let him tough Amasec. His hands are chromed, but he did that on purpose. Says his hands got unsteady so they had to go. Old, grumpy, and purpetually sauced, the stitch is a good guy, if a little jaded.
>CONT
>>
>>45729065
>Of course there’s our hunter, SPC Doan. Used to part of Mike Company, Mantis. Biowarfare, for when we decide to air out a hab-block with something nasty. He likes to brew his own stimms, so naturally once SGT Fen got wasted by a ‘stealer he signed right up to be the new Xenon-boy. He didn’t know exactly what he was getting into but noone ever does I guess. When we showed him where it comes from he didn’t even blink. The madman wanted to know WHY it worked. We of course told him that we don’t fucking know. Or care, I guess. Doan has been the best hunter we’ve ever had, the Dust barely fucking him up when he comes of it, thank the Emperor. He likes to collect knives and swords, as any Xenoner should, I suppose. His favorite piece is a Dark Eldar Wytch Knife he filched when the fuckers popped up in Chuinwa District. Pointy bastards didn’t know what hit them when we gave ‘em a classic Flash and Clear. Took him a full year to get the dumb thing sanctified and approved.
>CONT
>>
>>45721914
That seems like a good match for a Redemptionist-tier Pro-Imperial cult whose members appear to be normal citizens but put on their masks to do what amounts to terrorism against the Unbelievers. The actual Imperial authorities are going to get theres for tolerating all these heretics one day, but for now they'll play nice and remain secret. No priests, no masters, just the Word spread around in secret and spreading like a virus
>>
>>45729276
Antagonistic and law abiding work perfectly. They claim all their killings as self-defence
>>
>>45729276
So like ideological extremist Jade Fire Sect?

Sub green flamers and powerfists for anonymous membership and fanaticism.
>>
>>45729694
The large and transient and mysterious nature of it also means that they can't be traced adequately. There's no way to adequately take them down, because all of their killings are legal. I feel that they should have some goal they're working towards. Militant isolationists maybe?
>>
>>45729065
>>45729086
Keep it up, man. We need more quality stuff
>>
>>45722417
>Law Abiding
They follow the laws...as far as they need to-
>Antagonistic
-but at some point they'll start bending the rules. Never so far as to be outright illegal, but enough to know what they are doing really shouldn't be done but-
>Anarchic
-they do it anyway, often using whatever means they have. Often going against established rules to reach a goal.
>>
>>45730433
Anarchic just means there's no command structure though
>>
>>45730672
So just make it so said command exists, but it is fluid and ever changing. The laws that establish it are taken more as a kind suggestion than actual rule.
>>
>>45730965
Alright, these guys need a name
>>
>>45730994
仇杀
Chóushā

The Vendetta
>>
>>45731326
Alright, what's their end goal? Someone mentioned isolationists. Could be they don't agree with the church?
>>
>>45731381
Filthy gwielo go home
>>
>>45731524
So they're besically a cession group? I can dig it
>>
>>45731524
It's Gweilo, m8.
If you wanna yell filthy ghost dudes, yell it properly.
>>
They just want the Praetorians out, Hua Yuan for the Yuanese. They aren't 100% heretical
>>
>>45731723
But praetorians are barely there. I guess they are sort of a minor thing
>>
>>45731326
We could go for 血仇 (blood feud, so similar meaning)
So...either Xue Chou (Mandarin) or Huet Sau (Cantonese)

But if you want to keep 仇杀, make it 仇杀者 since it sounds a bit less awkward.
>>
>>45729086
>Then we have our voxman, Sergeant First Class Lao. Lao is the most evangelical man we’ve ever met. The man is damned priest. Cool and calm, SFC Lao can drop a verse from the Faith as quick as fix up a vox box. If Shan is the brains of the of squad, Lao is the soul. He keeps the faith in the squad. No meal goes without a few words from Preach, and before we hit the sack and begin watch he sends a couple words to the Emperor. Every decent Hua Yuanese person is a righteous Emperor fearing man, but Preach truly loves Him. Few Guardsmen match his piety, and his care for his fellow man. Nothing more I can really say about him, other than he seems really tired all the time. Mentioned he has some kids and a wife back home, but thinking about them makes him depressed. Kinda soul crushing, seeing a guy like that down...
>CONT
>>
>>45731881
>Sergeant Wu, the Bear. Descended from a long line of guardsmen, Bear is our heavy. His melta has saved our ass a hundred times over. Bear grew up in the garrison, like any Guard kid. He knew how to fire a Lasgun at 10, but I guess he was never satisfied with the impact, so he kept moving up since. Was slated to go stay in the Infantry, but he's quick on his feet and although he looks like an ape he's no slouch. Command wouldn't see a guardsman of his calibre get wasted on infantry, so off to the 1st E he went. Typically a pretty loud guy, big and flamboyant he gets downright silent when the las starts flying. He likes to discuss philosophy with Lao, typically along the lines of how best to serve the God-Emperor, and if one should respect the enemy as much as we hate them, stuff like that. It makes them both feel smarter than they really are. Zhang, Doan and I just talk about what guard girl we’d bring home if the Commissar held a Bolter to our heads and ordered us. The conversation usually gets a little weird there. The Commissariat in Exterminator Regiments is only there to make sure we don't snatch any Xeno gear that isn't authorized loot. And to make sure that hunters that finally burn out get put down before it causes a problem. We might be a ragtag bunch I guess, but Exterminators are well disciplined and effective. We all know what those jackets and Jack boots are really there for. Sometimes Doan gets a little...nervous, about the thought. Typically the conversation turns to which is better, bombs, knives or rifles (I'm the designated marksman, naturally.). The rifle will forever be the true instrument of the Emperor's wrath, I don't care what anyone says.
>CONT
>>
Hey Abrites anon, you ever add that doctrine section?
>>
>>45731918
I'M BUSY DAMNIT.

No, I haven't unfortunately. I'm not sure how to format it, or where I should put it. If you want to have a good at it be my guest, man. But this journal is eating all my time, unfortunately.
>>
File: vn_xo7.gif (10 KB, 424x279)
10 KB
10 KB GIF
>>45731748
But there is a sense of frustration among Hua Yuan.

When a crime happens, everyone is detained but Praetorians are let go. If there is a dispute with Praetorians, the Praetorian side gets favored. When the Praetorian commits a crime, they are taken away to a commissar instead of facing the Hua Yuan justice system.

They feel like there is a sense of favoritism and superiority that really shouldn't be there.

To show how their opposition, they may even have a banner that stand in stark contrast to standard Imperial flags, but more neon-y.
>>
>>45731978
No worries man. Just gotta have fun, otherwise, what's the point?

Honestly, I would just put the doctrine under each regiment types section. I wish I could drawfag more, I meant end up doing someone from your story if I ever figure out how to get the scanner working
>>
>>45731987
Isn't that flag Vietnamese?
>>
>>45731832
whatever you want, i just google translated the word vendetta
>>
>>45732025
As in
>This is how Exterminators do

>This is how Armoured Regiments do

>This is how the Penal do
?
>>
>>45732118
Brasically. It will also buff up the section on each
>>
>>45732063
Up to you guys really.
I can make suggestions, but in the end you guys make the pick.
>>
>>45732143
You're the authority here.
>>
Alright, added a notable gangs section. If someone wants to do a write up for the one we just rolled, I'll pop over there an add it
>>
>>45732719
Also, adding some fluff to the exterminator page

Has the jade fire guys been added?
>>
>>45733109
That should go on the world page.

Also delve through the threads, they've gone through some revision.
>>
>>45733207
Fuck.

Maybe I'll do it later
>>
>>45733466
As long as it gets done in suppose.
>>
>>45733542
It's dubious. I wasn't really into them, but I thought they were a pretty good addition. People seemed to like them alot, so I figured someone would have added them, especially since they were talked about so much for such a while.

I hate to be a nigger, but if someone has just an infodump on them, I'll get that shit sorted out right away
>>
>>45732053
Yeah but I'm using it as an example. Something 'oriental' and far removed from what might constitute the Praetorian flag
>>
>>45731987
I guess that works, yeah. When I Gm this for my friends to suffer through, I'm probably gonna give them some mustatche twirling evil plot to get rid of them, like they try to cut power to the upper levels, or maybe the whole hive
>>
>>45731987
The Praetorians are overseeing the city on behalf of the administratum. The nobles would be the ones frustrated by the curtailing of their power, they'd be fairly distant to the commoners.
The only Praetorians at street level would be token Praetorian patrols and officers leading Hua Yuanese units. So yes, they'd be brought before a commissar if they screw up, because it'd be military justice not civilian. The Praetorians are also incredibly strict on their soldiers, a Praetorian guardsmen fears only his officer, they'd receive no favoritism whatsoever.

They'd be disliked for what they represent on Hua Yuan, the imperium imposing itself on the city, not on any personal grounds.
>>
>>45731907
>Then there's the fearless leader of our band Sergeant First Class Zhao Shan, Grenadier. Every squad leader in an Exterminator direct action platoon is a Grenadier, one step away from a legit Stormtrooper. That's part of the reason we tend to be so small I suppose. There's a lot of mystery in what goes into their training, but every Grenadier is a stormtrooper in all but name. Shan is the epitome of what an Exterminator ought to be at all times. Steely, grizzled, hard. Sometimes he makes Kriegers look damn right chipper (this is of course a joke and I'm pretty sure the Death Korps hate our guts). He's been stuck at squad leader for almost six years, a clear “fuck you” from command. Nobody knows what he did to piss off command, but rumor has it goes all the way up the Colonel. Some really old bad blood. Either way, I'm glad he's where he's at, even if he's not. While we all have our undisciplined streak, Shan-SFC Zhao, is always on point. As crisp as a fresh Primer. He's so decked out in trophies that he's almost as big as Sergeant Bear, his best a horn from a Hive Tyrant that he's fashioned into a Sledgeaxe. He's virtually bulletproof under all that kit, but not only does he keep up with us, he leads. He has the highest kill count in the company, and has the sixth highest in the Regiment. Sergeant Zhao is from a noble family, but he wrote them off after he found out that they were wheeling and dealing to get him off the conscription. The thought of being denied service to the Emperor sickened him. The only reason I know that is because the higher ups like to rag on him about it. Doan thought he could shove it in his face last deployment. That's why he's missing a big tooth. Our Squad leader is a badass, a true servant of the Emperor and a right deadly Exterminator. I want to be as good as him someday, Emperor willing. Maybe even better. Emperor only knows I'm the best shot in the squad. Pew Pew mother fucker...
>CONT
>>
>>45734683

>Getting tired...rambling. Zhang was right. This was a good idea. Maybe I'll black out the sensitive bits and give it to my son, when he pops out. A Family Primer.

>The 212th is moving their flash bricks out now, making for the hive. The 10th Penal is moving out too, clearing their trenches out, thoroughly tagging up the joint. Good lads. Emperor willing my next entry will be written inside a FOB, my scope hovering on a Warrior’s big fucking head. I want that crest to give to my wife. She'll be so proud.

>+Thought for the Day+ The Emperor protects. I serve.
>>
>>45734567
>a Praetorian guardsmen fears only his officer, they'd receive no favoritism whatsoever
But the Hua Yuan doesn't see that. A drunk guardsmen makes a pass at a man's wife, starts a brawl. He doesn't get arrested. He gets taken away and the man taking him threatens you not to follow.

Things like that are going to breed resentment.
>>
>>45734702
>>45734683
Any thoughts on this? Something worth continuing?
>>
>>45734567
It seems they'd still be loyal, but they'd want to be able to lead on their own, not have some foreign guardsmen watching over them.
>>
Coming up with stuff for the Xerxes Landing module. Thinking of a Big baddie for each of the three sections of the assault. I've got an idea for the middle hive where the vehicles go in.

Have a guy, cybered to the gills, running around and flipping chimeras on their sides.
>>
>>45734865
Holy shit. How terrifying
>>
>>45734821
Take it to the conclusion you feel is natural
>>
>>45735033
That's not necessarily a comforting answer.

I'm open to all criticism. This is the second thing I've writefagged ever. Trying to get better pham
>>
>>45735110
I get it, famalam. I'll give you a more thorough criticism when it's not one in the morning. I guess you could work on transitions
>>
>>45735184
Sho nuff
>>
>>45734702
Definitely worth continuing.
>>
>>45734865
Tuckers kobolds re-skinned as gangers for the under hive. Not strong, just give em a bunch of conniving tricks- popping up from underfoot and ambushing them from bunkers made of scrap heaps.

The upper challenge could be a chunk of the penal regiment going rogue part way through the fight, the line infantry start firing on all penal guardsmen and the remaining loyalist penal guardsmen digs in to avoid both sides. Chaos ensues as it becomes a multiple front battle through the docks and surrounding markets.
>>
>>45735568

I'm gonna replace Rogue penal legion with Riot Supression Servitors set to "All y'all motherfuckas." or something of that nature.
>>
>>45732402
血仇 then, it sounds cooler
>>
>>45735568
>Tucker's Kobolds
>As re-skinned gangers

Dear God-Emperor, what kind of hell-spawned nightmare you are thinking about?
>>
>>45736884
I'm game
>>
So here's the deal.

Some threads aren't archived. And the wiki is not up to speed. There's something solid ass ideas in the previous threads that absolutely must make it on to the wiki. I'm stuck on mobile so doing any of that sucks ass.

I'm not going to post a new thread after this. For all intents and purposes this is going to be the last thread until we get our shit together and go through the old threads and throw it up on the wiki.
>>
>>45738458
I'm not all that familiar with how the wiki works, is there a way to communicate on it? If not, we could always use an IRC or Skype until everything's done.
>>
>>45738458
That being said our most pressing duty is to make sure ALL threads gets archived.

THEN we can start updating the wiki. Archiving the threads should be our number one priority though.

>>45738500
There's a discussion page on the wiki. I'd rather not use any channels that make it a private thing.
>>
>>45738500
>>45738530
That being said we shouldn't use it until we're done with the old threads and we've squeezed every last drop from them.
>>
>>45738599
I meant just to coordinate.
>>
>>45738647
What do you mean?
>>
>>45738656
Well, if we all go off and mess around with the wiki, then it can get messy real quick. But, it's probably not a big deal
>>
>>45738865
No, everyone updating the wiki at once is the opposite of a problem.

Anon, can you archive the threads not already immortalized?
>>
>>45738916
>>45738865
Luckily the threads are in the first post.

I'm not sure which are archived and which aren't.
>>
>>45738928
this one was the last archived in sup/tg/
>>
>>45738941
Wait, seriously?

Are we gooder to go?
>>
>>45738973
i'll archive the rest.

Go forth
>>
>>45738997
Based anon
>>
>>45734821
I'd suggest you stop and work exactly what you want to do with this. A good story has a beginning, middle and end, even when its presented as a diary. You have to hook the reader with a reason to keep reading, then reward them with a pay off at the end of some sort. The risk of just making it up as you go along is that you end up with some long, rambling and ultimately pointless thing. You should definitely have some idea of where your man is going to go. Maybe he does well, maybe he dies horribly (maybe both and his diary bit is bookended by an after-action report that commends his heroism), ultimately its up to you, but you seriously have to make sure when you're reader goes away satisfied.

This may sound a bit weird, but the 2000AD comics have open submissions and they have guidelines for writers who want to submit stories. They've got to be short, punchy and meaningful.
http://www.2000adonline.com/submissions/
The editor who wrote those guidelines has a longer mission statement somewhere. If you google "shot glass of rocket fuel" you should find it.

A lot of the good 40k writers are either current or former 2000AD writers, and they went through the same process.
>>
>>45739013
I definitely have a set timeline in mind.
>>
Did we ever decide what the scouts were like?
>>
>>45738865
Yeah, that's been a disaster before.

>>45739035
Not just a timeline, its about stuff happening in service to a story. Like, a diary of my life is pretty uninteresting because its just a bunch of stuff that happens over time. If someone was writing my life, they can take the basic timeline of stuff that happens and make it have a point. In a 40k story it also preferably has some bloody action with lots of death. Take Eisenhorn. That's a first person narrative, but it focusses less upon all the people around him and more on the mission. It also feeds into a larger story about making compromises and falling into evil without realising it.

The other thing is to show not tell. Like.
>he thought of being denied service to the Emperor sickened him. The only reason I know that is because the higher ups like to rag on him about it. Doan thought he could shove it in his face last deployment. That's why he's missing a big tooth.

You could have described the fight - was it one sudden punch? Did he warn him first, or was it a sucker blow? Or how your man got into the position of being able to eavesdrop on the officers while they were gossiping? Both those things are way to SHOW a dude is badass, or sneaky, or lying to himself or whatever.

I'm trying not to rag on you, its not a bad 1st and 2nd go. You're at least better than a lot of fanfiction writers who do that faux-script thing with loads and loads of boring dialogue and no prose to give it context. But show not tell.

>I'm pretty sure the Death Korps hate our guts
WHY? WHHHY?I want to know how you could meet them and then aggravate them so badly!
>>
>>45739124
Flashy and insane. They give Stormboyz and the Speed Kult a run for their money.
>>
>>45739124
Are we talking Hua Yuan Recon regiments as a whole, or individual scouts as a speciality unit or what?

Depends on the regiment and role I guess. Like, urban camo I can see being really helpful and pretty standard because the planet generally produces hivecity specced close-order fighters, and having people be able to sneak about in gloomy rockcrete is really useful. There's going to be individual quirks depending on where they are, who they're lead by and what they're up to though. Like, scouting out genestealer lairs in the dark, on your own with nothing but a really sharp knife, a not great gun, a camo cloak and a couple of smoke grenades takes a certain kind of mindset (and balls as big as grapefruit. Even on the women. Especially on the women)
>>
>>45739185
Good critique, I'll take all that into account.

Mostly it was unsubtle fluffing, though.
>>
>>45739185
>>45734821
In addition to this nigga, make sure the main character changes over time. It has to be noticeable, like his mannerisms change, so that the reader feels like the events have weight and that the character is dynamic
>>
>>45739358
That's fine, but that's something you can do as a separate thing. You could easily stat up the Sgt in Only War and give a basic biography for him that way.

That's where it comes into "what's the point of this". If you're writing a story you have to make the main characters worth reading on their own. Supporting characters are just that - supporting. They only exist to make the main story go, to impact on the main character in some way. If you're making one guy super cool, and showing it and not just telling me is, you have to answer the question: why am I reading about this schmuck and not THAT GUY? That guy sounds awesome.

If you just want to write fluff, do that. But bear in mind that the reason to do THAT is to make supporting characters and situations for other people's narratives. The 40k HQs and special characters exist so that people will buy the models, but they're also ways to turn a tabletop game into a narrative. This isn't just a playing piece that I could have made out of blutack with these stats, this is Captain Morgan Thundercock, Tank Lord of the Crimson Gunbastards, and this is his final last stand against the orks of Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka on Armageddon. The narrative of the battle is the important bit and that's in the players hands. Abbadon is written as the ultimate baddy. He can still get poked to death by goblins or run over by an APC, and that's hilarious. It also has very little to do with the original fluff writer.

Its similar for RPGs. NPCs really only exist to help GMs help players enjoy their PCs in a game. They can help or hinder, they might provide plot hooks, or suggestions, or whatever, but they're nowhere near as important as the characters people actually make and play with. Nobody wants to play a game that's basically running through a GM's unwritten novel, with his own supercool NPCs and GMPCs dictating the story rather than the players.

Shit I'm rambling. I'm not accusing you of anything.
>>
File: chavDM2404_468x274.jpg (45 KB, 468x274)
45 KB
45 KB JPG
>>45739374
Yeah, and that. That's well important. Very few good stories have everyone end up exactly the same way as they started. Even soap operas and comics manage that in individual arcs, even if the next one makes it pointless.
>>
>>45739644
I can think of some stories where they don't change and it's really impactful, but it's definitely not amateur technique
>>
>>45739754
Yeah, I was generalising so as not to give the wrong impression. There's ways to do it, and there's ways to do it well, but I'm not sure that its an appropriate fit for what should probably be an action packed bug hunt in a nightmare urban hellscape.
>>
>>45739862
>>45734821
Anyways, just refine your work a little bit, make sure things are coherent and impactful, and you're golden
>>
Well, these threads have been tight you guys. Maybe we'll have one after the wiki is done, who knows
>>
>>45740925
I'm going to let this site for a day or two, give Anons an opportunity to catch up, and add to the wiki.

Then two threads to iron things out
>>
>>45740980
One better be for champagne and confetti after we finally finish this
>>
>>45740991
Let's not crack the bubbly just yet. We still need to actually finish the wiki.
>>
>>45741689
When we finish, man. When we finish



[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.