Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>45597421
Send Daisy to space

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>>45597539
You decide to use the force to lift your Daisy golem up into the air. The crowd gathers around to witness this historical event. The launch countdown begins.

BLAST OFF.

With a load cheer you throw Daisy with all your might. Daisy goes blasting off into the sky, spreading her pollen as she flies through the air. You feel pretty good about this, but you wonder if that was enough to break orbit.

The extremely loud crash you hear a few minutes later cements this fear.

>>45597599
Did we ever bang Eve, Op?

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>>45597689
Oh uh... There was a bang alright. A fiery one.

She exploded.

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>45597708
> right in the waifu.

Summon a spaceship

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>45597708
Teleport Daisy back to us.

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>>45597741
Thinking over mistakes you made trying to launch Daisy into space, you remember that sky ship you were on when you first came to this dimension.

That's it, you need to build a sky ship! You begin conjuring peices of metal and circuitry and magic-ing them together recreate the ship you arrived on. Its coming together real nicely.

You wish someone who could talk was here to appreciate it, the dogs and bird are nice and all but... ya. You summon Daisy again to see her marvel at your sky ship. Or at least you try. A regular daisy flower appears in your hands instead. Huh.

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>45597861
Fly spaceship to an intergalactic citadel of some kind. Try to become a spectre. Mass effect quest GO!

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>>45597916
You're too excited to worry about Daisy right now. at worst she's just spreading daisies around your planet right now. You excitedly jump into your space ship, summon a space helmet and and tiny space helmet for your blue jay and 3 smaller dogs. The Orgonoans wave good bye as you fly away.

You fly off into the stars in search of adventure and alien citadels.

7 hours pass and you begin to realize space is a very very big place and you can't just expect to find alien citadels. You do spot a space tumbleweed. Neat.

>>45598074
Teleport your ship somewhere interesting. Basically, use the hyperspeed.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>45598160
Forgot roll.

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>45598074
Create your own citadel that you can rule the galaxy from, with blackjack and hookers

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>>45598178
You look over to one of your smaller dogs.

"Alright Chewie, PUNCH IT!"

The dog puts a paw on a button and the ship leaps to life. Shooting forward into a hyperspeed.

When you exit hyperspeed you are in a beautiful area, two bright and colorful planets in orbit around a bright star. Star-whales migrating in the distance.

This would make an excellent place for an alien citadel.

>>45598183
You conjure a massive construct of metal into reality orbiting the sun. It's a giant metallic sphere, like a moon, but it's no moon.

You populate it almost entirely with blackjack players and hookers. Also blackjack playing hookers. You summon your dog army into the citadel as well, as soldiers and peace keepers.

The whole system is maintained by magic and ran by blackjack players who also specialize in different professions.

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>45598305
Teleport ourselves to the throne room. Cackle maniacly.

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>45598305
Craft massive golden power armor with giant pauldrons for yourself

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>>45598344
You teleport your entire ship into the throne room, crashing it into the fancy chair your built for yourself. There's a fiery explosion and you black out.

You wake up being dragged from the wreckage by Chewie and your other two smaller dogs. The explosion has left you scarred and burned. Your elf-bird is nowhere to be seen and your spaceship and chair is a burning wreck. There's nothing to cackle at here. This is just sad.

Rolled 46 (1d100)

Split ourselves into one million copies for exactly 2 hours, during which time we will play a million games of blackjack.

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>45598422
Repair ourselves and our throne, then destroy a nearby planet that has nothing on it, just because we need something to cackle about

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>>45598407
This incident has left you injured. You realise if you want to survive in this world you'll need much more powerful armor.

You attempt to craft the most powerful and majestic golden power armor. You work on it for many days. Or at least you think you do. It's really hard to tell because of where you are and you don't really have a clock.

Anyways, after an unspecified period of time, you complete your masterpiece of a powersuit. Looking it over maybe it isn't exactly what you were going for but you don't think it looks half bad. You forgot to add the pauldrons too.

The people need to witness their glorious leader. You will make appearances for ALL OF THEM.

>>45598448
You attempt to split yourself into one million copies. This doesnt go exactly as planned and you instead only split yourself in half. A torso and legs.

Rolled 69 (1d100)

Magic to make sure we can control the lower half via a psychic link while we are split.

Rolled 42 (1d100)

So let's try walking around with our top half balanced on top of our bottom half.

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>>45598496
This whole, being split in half thing won't help your image. You refuse with your own body and clean away all the burning and scars. You also tidy up your throne and take a seat.

You really want to cackle, so you decide to blow up a planet.

Focusing all of your magic into a ball in your hands, you fire a beam at the planet, completely obliterating it. It turns out you have an excellent cackle.

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>>45598603

Deciding being split in half could prove useful, you decide to keep the ability to do that whenever you please. You attempt walking around around with the top half balanced on the bottom. You immediately face plant and fall apart again.

>>45598579
You decide you could remedy this issue with a mental link to your bottom half, allowing you better control over it, and allowing you to move it when you are separated.

This is looking to be a very useful power... or at least a mildly entertaining party trick.

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>45598637
Send scouts to find other alien races, we need something to rule over

Rolled 70 (1d100)

Cause all the female casino-guard-dogs to become pregnant and magically go through the pregnancy to the point of giving birth to puppies in the next half hour or so.

The puppies will also magically appear to be a well disciplined army/security force, except 1000 times cuter.

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>>45598704
You decide to send some scouts looking for alien races. You gather the blackjack scouts and whisk them away in different directions with magic.

You realise all too late that you didn't really give them any mode of transportation and kind of just threw them through space.

You're a fantasy wizard from not!Europe, space is not your strong suite.

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>45598789
Display an illusion showing footage of the lost Blackjack scouts stealing from the casino.

Explain to our staff that this is what happens to those who betray us and it definitely wasn't an accident.

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>45598789
Try Again, remember spaceships this time

>>45598861
Card counting!

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>>45598754
You feel pretty bad about jettisoning a bunch of blackjack scouts.. You decide to cheer yourself up by adding something to the ship.

Over the next half hour your dogs are all going through a process. A process that is significantly less cute than the end result. What is that result? PUPPIES!

You just lay down for a bit and let the puppies run wild around the thrown room. They're just like the rest of your army in that they appear to be well disciplined fighting force, but these ones are cuter because they are PUPPIES!

>>45598833
After you calm down a bit you decide you should probably make a statement to the rest of the crew. You start fabricating a bunch of illusions to display throughout the ship of the various blackjack scouts stealing and committing various other crimes. You explain to the crew that these scouts were not sent out on accident, they were being punished for their wrong doings. This is the fate that awaits all who betray the emperor, The crew seems to think this is very reasonable and gets back to work, successfully intimidated, without causing too much stress to spread among them.

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>>45598861
>>45598885

You gather another intrepid group of explorers and conjure all the right gear they need, spacehips included. As they fly off in search of the unknown the various ships break down and explode. Everyone stares in horror.

>>45598885
"CARD COUNTERS. THESE BASTARDS WERE COUNTING CARDS. THIS WAS NOT AN ACCIDENT."

The crowd is silent for a moment before a single member chimes in.

"Well fuck those guys!"

Followed by a bunch of nods of agreement and even some clapping.

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>45598422
Is our familiar dead? Poor elf waifu. We tried to woo her for like, 5 hours last night.

Bring her back.

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>45598956
Fuck this shit, we are not made for space, go back to not!Europe and kidnap a princess or something

Rolled 68 (1d100)

Teleport the entire system that our citadel is in so that it merges with the solar system of our not!Europe planet.

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>>45599010
You turn to your familiar to see if she's impressed with the way you've been running things. Then you remember you haven't seen her since the crash.

You attempt to use your mental link to feel her emotions. Feels like dead.

You create a new blue jay, with the soul of the elf secretary inside of it once again.

The emotions you sense from the link are kind of hard to put in to words, it's somewhere between "Oh good I'm alive again" and "not even in death can I escape this nightmare."

Also you have reminded me that you still have a few random items.

your inventory contains:
>The Engagement Katana: the most powerful katana ever, folded 10,000 times, forged from the one engagement ring to rule them all. It's about the size of a letter opener

>A love potion. Makes someone fall in love with the first thing they see.

Both of these things were initially created for the elf girl before you killed her, turned her into a dung beetle, turned her into a bird and made her into your familiar.

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>>45599055

You think maybe you aren't cut out for space after all.

You once again tear open the veil of reality and begin to walk through. Maybe you'll kidnap a princess or something. King Randal III has a daughter, that could work.

>>45599109
Then you realise it'd be a waste to just leave your citadel behind... That's it.

You open the veil more than you ever have before, forcing the entire citadel into your old universe.

You position the citadel to rotate around the same star as your old planet.

This is pretty much the best idea ever. The best part is, if you live here, the bypass can be built without issue... even though i suppose that's redundant since you already built the bypass yourself to avoid the tower... and your tower is also on another planet in another universe now...

looking back on it you realize the entire bypass conflict was your fault to begin with, two fold even., Not only did you give Randal the idea retroactively, but you also drafted the plans to go through your own tower yourself, in a series of time travel shenanigans. You were the architect of your own misfortune all along.

What a time to be alive.

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>45599297
Teleport into the princess' room

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>45599297
Travel back in time, stop the plans for the bypass from being made in the first place by killing the king, and kidnap his daughter while we're there

Rolled 79, 87 = 166 (2d100)

Let's create two non-profit groups, foundations if you will, to make encyclopedias cataloging all the information on our homeworld, Lily-world, and The Citadel. Plus the rest of the universes when they get to it.

Two groups so that if something happens to one, the other won't be lost. Also so we can tell them both that the other is our favorite and if only they would work a bit harder maybe they could be as good.

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>45599350
Leave behind magical blueprints which will cause whoever reads them to want to build bypasses obsessively.

>>45597421
Man how am I going to get anything done today if I'm too busy laughing my ass off at the shinanagans in this thread?

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>>45599327
You teleport into a lovely room. There is pink everywhere. Lying in bed infront of you is a little girl, Randal IV, princess of Randar.

Next to her, sits Randal III, reading her a bedtime story. King Randal looks at you confused.

"I uh... I must thank you for the construction of the bypass Mr. Arcanum, you saved us a great deal of time and money... but is there any reason you have decided to interrupt me reading my daughter a story? Again?"

You look around kind of awkwardly. Randal seems pretty nice, but you really REALLY feel like playing the bad guy. This would be a lot easier if you could go back to before he thinks of you as a friend.

>>45599350
Oh wait, you can! You begin making another time travel spell. Randal III stares at you in confusion. "This again Mr.Arcanum? This hardly seems to end well."

You tell Randal to hush up and you step through the veil of time once more.

Arriving in the same room a little over a year ago, with the lights out and Princess Randal IV fast asleep.

King Randal storms into the room and commands you to halt. You shoot a blast of arcane energy straight through his heart. He falls over, dead.

Princess Randal is screaming, you pick her up and through her over your shoulder.

Your blue jay is pecking at you, trying to get you to stop.

>>45599382
You conjure up some cursed blueprints to drive the reader mad with bypass construction. You accidentally create a blessed blueprint of perfect bypass engineering. It might not be cursed, but at least someone ought to use it to build a bypass.

>>45599364
While you're conjuring things anyways, you decide to establish to non-profit foundations, you will have these groups formed in the present, where you came from simply to avoid any unnecessary time conflict. These two orders will compete to be your favorite and attempt to document all of the known universe(s),

You shall name them the Blujeys and the Duangbeatles.

Rolled 74 (1d100)

Complicated magical working to make the building of a bypass through the location of our old wizard tower a fixed point in time, that the universe will tend to revert to.

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>45599297

Whoa, hold on. We've left behind our flower planet. Let's teleport it back into our solar system in binary orbit with our planet, but also back in time to shortly before we were born. that way we've always had the daisy world (and an army of alien minions and mini-daisy golems).

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>45599513
Travel even farther back in time, prevent the idea of a bypass from existing in the first place

whatcanpossiblygowrong

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>45599513
Let's erase the princesses memory of us popping up and killing her father and replace it with the memory of a field of dasies.

Then tell her we rescued her after her father was murdered.

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>45599513
Go back to the present, for simplicities' sake

>>45599596
Which present? The Present from earlier or the present from even farther earlier or the present from now or the present after we ambiguously go even farther back which would be uh, right now?

>>45599618
Isn't time travel fun?

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>>45599525
Realizing that destroying Randal III before he can receive your message, you may prevent this very timeline... unless there was a way to make you finding out about the bypass a fixed point in time...

Oh wait there is a way, you're basically god.

As Randal IV continues to cry and throw a tantrum you begin your magic to alter the very essence of time itself. Reality bends to your will as always. You focus the energies of the cosmos into a single moment in time. Receiving the notification of the bypass, thus ensuring this adventure's continued existance.

While you're fucking around with time anyways, let's do it some more.

>>45599583
You travel back in time even further. Way further, before you were even born.

You appear in a field, where castle Randar will one day stand. This must be the year the idea of the bypass was invented.

You look up at the sky, it seems rather empty without the citadel. You think this place could use some more... I don't know.. charm.

>>45599529
You remember daisy and the Orgonoans. You think their planet would do nicely here, and this early in the timeline would mean you'd always remember having Daisy and an army.

You attempt to call the planet into a binary orbit with your own, just like you did when you first discovered the daisy planet. And just like the first time you tried, the planet appears to be coming at you, ready to crash into your homeplanet.

Randal IV is freaking out. So is the bird.

You calm Randal down just a little bit by having her believe you rescued her when her father was murdered. Also you put in some memories of daisies, maybe this will comfort her about the fact a planet full of them is about to crush her.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>45599706
Hit the universal reset button, wake up on the day where we learned about the bypass

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>45599706
Welp. Clearly the only way to fix this is to cause a massive column of daises to burst forth from the ground, actually they look more like some kind of wacky jack in the beanstalk vine or tree with dasies growing on it. In anycase, this freak plant explodes upwards with such speed and size that it catches the on-rushing planet, gently booping it into the previously intended orbit.

wcgw?

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>45599732
With all our acquired magical items, familiar, fabulous armor, and golem bodyguard.

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>>45599596
>>45599618

You attempt to escape this impending doom with a trip to the future/present/I don't even know anymore.

You jump into the veil and come out in a desolate dead land. Freezing and cold, having been knocked out of orbit by Planet Daisy.

You have trouble breathing and you are already experiencing frost bite.

You fall to the ground, your fabulous emperor power armor not able to protect you. With your dying breath you whisper your final spell.

"Activate the Omega 13."

>>45599732

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Hello again, doubt many people remember the last one of these, it was late and on valentines day. Anyways, I got the day off tomorrow so I thought I'd do another one of these.

This one will have nothing in common with the last with the exception of the mechanics so you really aren't required to do any reading at all.

So the mechanics are this:
> You can use magic to do pretty much anything.
> Attempting to use magic requires a write in command and a roll of a d100.
> 50 or higher is a success
> Lower than 50 is a backfire

You are Ardeus Arcanum, powerful wizard. You've lived in a big mountain studying magic for the last few centuries. This morning you woke up to find a letter telling you that your wizard tower is going to be demolished to make way for a magical bypass under order of his highness, King Randal III.

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>>45599818
>>45599835

>>45599835
>>45599783
?


This bypass crap sounds like a load of bullocks we shouldn't have to deal with. Let's just move the earth until the part where the bypass is suppose to be isn't under our tower anymore.

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>45599835
I love you

Tell the king to fuck off, he can build a subway system or something

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>45599872
forgot roll.

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>>45599732
But wait a minute... you are Ardeus Arcanum... but you are also in possession of a katana, a love potion, a bird, 3 small dogs and Daisy the golem...

You're also dessed... very strangely in a magical bright yellow suit.

You ignore these things for a moment and look at this notice for the bypass.

>>45599872
>>45599889

This is a load of bullocks. You attempt to move the earth around so that your tower isn't in the way of the bypass. You accidently cause a small earthquake instead.

>>45599883
This is too difficult, let's just invent some new way of transportation, under the surface of the planet or something.

You form a mental link with King Randal III.

"Eh, Fuck off, what's this about a bypass"

"The plans have been on display for over a year now Mr.Arcanum."

"Just build something else."

You project the mental plans for a subway system into the head of Randal III.

"Oh yes. This would work quite well. Thank you for your suggestions, we'll be in touch Mr.Arcanum."

>>45599835
I just went and checked sup/tg/. You actually just copy pasted last thread opening. I love you Wizard Qm.

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>45600016
Conjure up some hookers and booze and have a small party, invite a couple of your wizard friends front college, it's been centuries since you've seen them

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>45600016
While we're at it, let's curse elf secretary's boyfriend to shit his pants every time he see's her.

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>>45600058
You can't help but feel like this was a HUGE deal, you really want to celebrate.

You begin conjuring some hookers... they seem awfully familiar, and strangely well equipped for running some kind of space station....

You decide to send messenger owls to some old colleagues from wizard college.

Within a few moments, several wizards begin appearing in your lair.

There are a few ones of note;

Momerpresso Malamatartarei, the stage magician.

Erdanoa the Insatiable, a warlock who rules over a small nation to the south.

Bella Blackwell, a witch who set up a business in cursing people.

And of course, your old partner in crime, Newt the scholar. He's a huge dork, only likes learning about magic, doesn't really use it.

>>45600135
While talking with Bella about curses, you casually decide you want to curse some specific elf guy, you're not sure why. You get him to drop a deuce any time he sees his girlfriend. You feel it might have something to do with your bird.

Speaking of your bird, the other wizards have taken interest in it.

"Your familiar is so beautiful." Bella comments.

"It's eyes suggest an unreasonable amount of intelligence for a creature of it's kind" adds Newt.

"YOU SHOULD USE IT TO SUBJUGATE THIS PATHETHIC REALM AND DESTROY ALL WHO OPPOSE YOU" chimes in Erdanoa, classic Erdanoa.

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>45600284
Turn your familiar into a woman. Just to see what happens.

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>45600284
Well Erdanoa, it does have some special powers.

>Have our familiar use it's gaze attack on one of the hookers.

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>45600213
Seduce Bella with our magical prowess and our kickass armor

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>45600303
Then ask the woman if she would like to marry us and destroy all who oppose us. Propose with the Katana of engagement.

>>45600356
I've made a huge mistake.

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>45600356
The Engagement Katana is cursed, isn't it?

Anyway, let's summon up an army of dogs and puppies who magically appear to be more well-organized and threatening than they actually are to guard the party.

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>45600284
Turn familiar back into Elf waifu

>>45600450
Yes, yes it is. It's the Glorious folded 10,000 times nippon steel cursed engagement katana.

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>45600488
give ourselves mastery with the glorious Engagement Katana

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>45600516
We are going to be SO GOOD at opening envelopes and shit now!

A spell to implant the idea in the King's mind to make us Postmaster/Spymaster general.

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>>45600308
"You know Erdanoa, it does have a bit of magic of it's own."

You point at one of the hookers. The bird stares at them but nothing happens.

"Go on, don't be shy."

The bird just glares at you.

"It would seem your bird has stage fright" says Momerpresso Malamatartarei. "Happens to the best of us."

>>45600315
After the crowd sort of disappears you continue talking with Bella. You use a bit of magic to help out your charisma, and ask her out.

She looks away nervously and declines.

"I'm sorry, I just got out of a very powerful soul pact. I'm not really looking for anything right now."

You head off and start hanging by the punch you just summoned in just now. You sigh to yourself and look at the bird.

>>45600303
>>45600476
You place the bird on the ground and use some magic to turn it into a woman. As she grows and changes size, her feathers shift to form a beautiful blue dress. She's an elf... that's strange you weren't really going for an elf.

She looks in shock.

>>45600356

Suddenly you feel all kinds of old memories rushing back. The ring. The bypass building team. The boyfriend. The pants shitting.

You get down on one knee and present the Katana to the elf.

"Elfana Secretariate, will you marry me? And destroy all who oppose us?"

"Are you insane? You're a complete sociopath! No I will not marry you. I WOULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW IF I COULD. PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"

She breaks down and starts crying. The other wizards look over.

"Not cool dude." Says Newt.

>>45600450
You could really go for some relaxation therapy right now. You try to summon your dog army but only manage to summon a single, bald, angry looking cat.

(Status on Katana: Unclear. Ring was hella-cursed, and the katana is made from said ring, but hasn't really been used.)

>>45600516
As you wonder about the Katana for a moment you give yourself mastery of it as an after thought. Should prove useful sometime.

>>45600558
Use love potion on Elf waifu and make sure you're the first thing she sees.

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>45600590
Forgot to roll

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>>45600558

Elfana is comforted by the other wizards while you continue to think about your awesome Katana.

You send a mental projection to Randal III. You'll probably be made postmaster by the end of the day or so.

Rolled 25 (1d100)

I don't know where we got this idea, but it just seems right to cast a spell on our elf waifu so she can't see any other people other than us (but can hear them).

That's just the next logical step, right?

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>45600558
desperate times call for desperate measures. use the love potion to make elf secretary fall for us.

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>>45600590
>>45600604
>>45600652


You decide to slip your love potion into Elfana's drink. You realise she doesn't actually have a drink, so you casually put the potion straight into her mouth. She protests to this, but soon the hate in her eyes fades and she stares at you with adoration.

Momerpresso Malamatartarei puts a hand on your shoulder. As you turn to face him he punches you in the face.

"What is WRONG with you man? You used to be cool. You can't just drug people like that!"

>>45600616
All of the other wizards begin shouting at you as the elf secretary embraces you. You decide she doesn't need to hear any of this crap, and you cast a spell on her to not be able to perceive and of it.

There must be some kind of mistake, because the wizards in the room all disappear for real. Well that's too birds with one stone really.

>>45600737
As some invisible force hits your face, and your face hits the ground, you begin to wonder if you REALLY made the wizards disappear after all.

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>45600759
These are wizards right? How powerful are they?

Can they cast too?

Also rolling to dispell our current condition

Defend me, oh ferocious bald cat!

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Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>45600737
>>45600759
Fly away and get married to elf waifu at the royal castle because we're pretty sure the king owes us a favour or two.


Also, mfw we finally get elf Waifu to love us even if it is with a less than desirable method. Tears of joy

>>45600759
Daisy can defend us from these chubs


Actually, shouldn't the curse obsessed wizard be pretty down with this turn of events?

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>45600737
Have elf waifu stare down the opposition with her gaze attsck after we dispel ourselves.

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>45600793
I'm a pretty big lover of chaos, so I'm gonna say, ya the wizards can cast. Unlike the first time i ran this kind of quest, im going to avoid letting the players control the npc wizards, mainly because last time it caused 2 posters to just have a back and forth endless fight.

Anyways. With a quick dispell you see the other wizards standing around you. Momerpresso Malamatartarei is reading some kind of dispell for the Elf.

>>45600797
Mind controlling her into loving us is probably the nicest thing we've done to her to date.

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>45600849
Momerpresso gets suddenly taken away to some weird smug anime girl dimension.

Rolled 75 (1d100)

Turn ALL THE WIZARDS into non-magical dung beetles.

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>45600849
Backup plan, curse all the enemy wizards with 24 hours of explosive diarrhea, disrupting their casting concentration.

>>45600888
Looks like our baleful polymorph skills are higher in this universe!

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>>45600797
You attempt to fly away. As you begin to float off the ground, Momerpresso Malamatartarei attempts to dispel the love potion. He is distracted however by a ferocious cat.

>>45600795

Instead he dispels the fly spell. You and your elf fall to the ground.

>>45600807
Daisy immediately comes charging in and knocks Momerpresso Malamatartarei flying across the room and knocks him out against a wall.

>>45600842
Your elf waifu looks at the other wizards with a powerful gaze, sees her reflection in Erdanoa's shiny armor, and shits herself.

>>45600871
Suddenly Momerpresso Malamatartarei is whisked away to another quest, by the name of OverPowered Magic User Quest (The original) This one passes just because I like the joke.

>>45600900
You take the shitting into your own hands as you cause all the wizards in the room to experience explosive diahrea. They start freaking out.

>>45600888
While their vulnerable you follow up.
You reduce them all into harmless dung beetles, and leave them to wallow in their own feces.

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>45600991
Enlarge the katana and go out to slay the elf boyfriend of this timeline, also accquire elf girl of this timeline as well.

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>45600991
Thats a little harsh... I was hoping to get with Bella.

Set them to turn back after a week or two.

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>45601037
We better erase their memories of this though.

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>45601037
After a week or two, all the wizards turn back, but lose their magic skills, which are replaced by civic planning skills.

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>45601087
And MATHMAGICAL skills!

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>45601087
They then come up with a plan of revenge and build a bypass through our citadel.

>>45601096
So they're bypass-planners that are bad at geometry?

>>45601097
If you leave it unsaid and don't roll this shit, based WizardQM would probably insert that irony for us.

>>45601027
You lift your katana into the air and attempt to imbue it with power. It gets smaller. About the size of a sewing needle. Though its still very powerful and you are still very skilled with it.

As you get to work preparing a teleportation spell to the home of the elf boyfriend's secretary you look over the other wizards and feel kind of bad. They were your friends once after all.

>>45601037
You decide that maybe a week and a half as bugs will teach them not to mess with you, and you set an end time on the spell.

>>45601078
>>45601087

You will have to make them lose their memories you doing this to them. Probably their magic too just to be safe. Hey maybe they could be civil planners!

>>45601096
You could make them mathmagical! nah... that probably wouldn't work.

That will take care of itself in time.

>>45601097
Probably no revenge planning either, since they don't remember you did this. To them.

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>>45601128
Forgot pic.

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>45601128
Go to elf secretaries home.

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>45601128
Learn from our previous mistakes

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>45601128
Return their powers after about a century.

>>45601156
You finish your teleportation circle and step through. You appear outside small home. Elf home if you had to guess.

To your left is an outhouse, currently occupied.

"Oh this is my boyfriend's house" says the elf girl in a dazed voice.

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>>45601187
NEVER.

>>45601193
Also you decide that removing the one thing your friends have studied for pretty much their whole lives seems completely unfair, They can have them back when they are ready to play nice. And by that you mean in a century.

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>45601244
Send the outhouse rocketing into space.

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>45601203
Technically babe, it's not your boyfriend, since you're from a different time line.

>Find elf boyfriend and stab him a bit with our glorious Katana.

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>45601244
Win the lottery

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>>45601274
"SEE YA LATER ASSHOLE!"
You shout as you send the outhouse rocketing upward.

A confused scream echoes as it flies upwards.

The boyfriend's head pokes out of the door as it's lifting off and sees you and the elf girl. He shits himself one last time before leaving the atmosphere and freezing to death in space.

The elf secretary waves and laughs.
"Bye boyfriend"

>>45601301
You correct her saying she's from an alternate timeline and that she isn't actually that mans girlfriend.

You casually teleport into space, find the freezing body of the elf and stab him with your katana.

"Nothing personnell kid."

Then teleport back, putting an arm around your elf secretary.

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>45601244

Secretly transform the boyfriend into dirty and annoying neckneard.

>>45601304
As you put your arm around her you pull up your lottery ticket. Another losing number. You fix that.

You're not really sure how the lottery process works, so you just magic all the money into your tower.

>>45601367
You also attempt to turn the boyfriend into a neckbeard. You fail, and make him a huge stud... or at least you do that to his frozen, impaled dead body in space.

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>45601397
Go see elf secretary from this world.

Rolled 41 (1d100)

Okay, so transporting planets to this planet seems to be a bad idea, but at the risk of learning from our mistakes...

Let's magically merge the Lily planet (and it's underground caves of aliens) and the citadel from that other timeline with this planet. Screw putting them into orbit, let's have them just be incorporated into this world somehow.

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>45601397
Let's find our way to hell then fuck Eve up.

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>45601397
Start the long and arduous task of sending out wedding invitations.

>>45601416
Daisy planet I mean

>>45601416
Oh god

Side note, Daisy the golem will eventually convert our planet to Daisy planet.

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>45601362
Let's Forge two dozen more Katanas of power that are cursed, and will allow their welders to be subjugated to the one true katana (the katana of engagement we wield).

Then let's send them to all the most powerful rulers of our world.

Rolled 27 (1d100)

And 3 tiny letter opener katanas for the elf waifus of the world!

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>>45601406
You start teleporting to different elf homes, with no success. You don't really know where you are going because you've never actually seen where she came from. You kind of summoned her by accident originally.

You give up and instead decide to start dealing with some other tasks.

>>45601428
You set up a spell that should fill out and send wedding invitations for you and just let that do it's thing. I'm sure it'll work out fine.

>>45601416
Then you think about incorporating those space things from that other universe into your planet! What could possibly go wrong!

OH GOD IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.

>>45599763
Luckily you remember this really good spell idea you had before the universe reset.

You create a giant flower column erupting from the surface of the world, pushing the planets into proper orbit.

Congratulations. You are finally in binary orbit with Daisy planet with a citadel orbiting nearby.

With that dealt with you look over at your wedding invitations.

The thing is literally just writing out everything wrong you've ever done to your elf girlfriend.

One of the cards just says Eve.

>>45601423
That really gets your blood boiling. You outta go to hell right now and fuck her up.

You attempt to open up a portal to hell. You instead accidentally summon an angel. They are very confused, as most of your teleportation victims generally are.

>>45601511
>>45601549

Before going to get Eve however you actually stopped for a while to forge some powerful katanas...

You're 90% it didn't work and these are just normal letter openers.

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>45601581
Lie to the angel and say a demon named Eve cursed your wedding invitations and politely ask for his help

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>45601581
Fuck up the angel, then turn the nagel loose on Eve.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>45601581

Become a Muscle Wizard!

>>45601617
You convince the angel that a demon named Eve has put a curse on your wedding invitations.

The angel seems very understanding and gets to work writing out all your invitations for you.

She looks over the cursed cards and looks at you. Then she looks at your clearly potioned girlfriend.

"Wait a minute... are you evil?"

>>45601631
Can you define "fuck up"

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>45601676
Define: Evil

As the postmaster general, we should give these perfectly normal letter openers we custom forged to our top postal lieutenants.

Who are our postal lieutenants? I nominate Daisy as one. And maybe the 3 smaller dogs?

>>45601676
As in utterly wreck her shit, destroy ever pair of shoes she has ever own and will own.

>>45601676

>"Wait a minute... are you evil?"

"Chaotic neutral actually..."

>>45601631
Roll to ignore this guys roll, and to ask the Angel to cleanse us of our sins.

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>45601676
Cast a spell to make us seem like a very good and lawful guy.

Rolled 81, 86 = 167 (2d100)

>>45601710

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>>45601664
You start flexing, growing massive muscles to match the angel's sword in battle.

>>45601690
"Define evil." you ask

The angel stops for a moment. "Well it's kind of an abstract concept and really hard to give an explicit definition for, but generally there is a consensus that it means-

>>45601699
You proceed to shoot wave after wave of magic missile, throwing powerful muscle wizardly punches and adding in a few slashes with the Katan for good measure.

As the angel lies beaten, completely fucked up.You cast a spell to destroy all of her shoes. Ever.

This does nothing since the angel doesn't really own shoes. She's a celestial being, at best she has boots as part of her armor.

>>45601716
You then cast a spell to hid your alignment, but you kind of just cover yourself in an aura of chaotic evil stink.

>>45601785
You get on your knees and ask the angel to forgive you. She looks up at you scared and confused. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>45601871
Now let'sa blame it on Eve saying we were curesed by her.

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>45601871
Explain to her that we're currently "we" and not "I"

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>45601871
I'm being secretly controlled by a group of beings from another dimension who seek nothing but to stop my wedding with my elf waifu.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>45601871

Explain to angel that we have multiply type of brains with own personality. That is why we are so powerful.

Rolled 64 (1d100)

Create a magical cave system beneath us that magically links up with the cave system inhabited by the aliens inside that planet in binary orbit with us, and also magically links up with hell.

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>>45601920
"You see this aura of chaotic evil? That wasn't here before. It was Eve! She cursed me to do this."

>>45601953
>>45601962
>>45601993
You explain that the nature of the curse that Eve put on you is that you are controlled by a group of inter dimensional beings who want to stop your wedding.What a ludicrous lie, but she actually kind of believes you. Or at least some parts of it.

The angel struggles to get to her feet. Her face is full of blood, she has a black eye and you're pretty sure her arm is broken.

"I'll take care of it. You two just promise me you'll have a good wedding."

She gives you a thumbs up and a smile before teleporting away in a flash of white.

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>45602064
Now, we have a good wedding.

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>45602064

Be a nice wizard, cure the angel wounds and... give her larger breast...

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>45602064
Make a reminder to never forget about the lie.

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>45602127
Divert that spell to a different angel, any ole one will do.

>>45602127
shotsfired

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>>45602026
You start working on a magical cave that will lead to the Organoans. After all how else are they supposed to get to your wedding.

You also add a portal to hell so Lucifer, Rat the imp and Larry the fire guy can come easily.

Just as you finish Eve appears behind you with a fiery crack. The angel at her feet covered in wounds, bleeding out.

>>45602127
You try to help her out with a quick magic spell, but her skin just tears open even more, blood everywhere... also you accidently shrink her breasts.

>>45602150
You try to fix this by redirecting it. You just double down. The angel screams in agony as she is wounded even more. The breasts are pretty much the smallest you've ever seen on a grown woman.

Eve just laughs at your attempts at magic and impales the angel with a spear.

"I don't know who you are Wizard. But you can't expect to get away with sending an angel to kill me without any consequences."

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>45602226
Explain to her that it was just an elaborate wedding invitation.

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>45602226
Give Eve her memories back, you two dated! Rember the good times. Convince her to spare you

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>45602226
Let's give the imp his memories from the other timeline back too!

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>45602226
We decide to Elf boyfriend the situation by trying to murder the two.

Rolled 53, 11 = 64 (2d100)

>>45602226
Murder her deader then dead, erase her from existence. Also, attempt to bring angel waifu back to lifu

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>45602226

FUCK!!! Heal the angel!!! And increase her boobs to DD.

Rolled 7 (1d100)

Prevent Eve from dying by merging her lifeforce from the alternate dimension with her in this dimension so she won't be erased from existence.

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>>45602247
You yell "Surprise" and summon some confetti.
"I'm getting married and you're invited!"

"Why?" says Eve

"A wedding? How exciting!" adds the elf, still holding you in a tight embrace.

>>45602263
"Because we used to date Eve! Remember the good times?"

Eve looks into the distance, remembering. There's a smile on her face for a moment, then she looks at you angrily.

"YOU MURDERED ME!"

"Oh... uh... funny story about that one."
>>45602299
You attempt to explode both the elf and Eve like you did before. Like before you just blow up your outfit. Poor emperor suit, you will be missed.

Eve comes at you with a spear.

>>45602305
You tear open the jaws of oblivion. You weren't ready for it before, but you are now. A fiery chaotic portal opens in front of you.

Eve is terrified, she begs you not to do this.

You obliterate her, her being consumed by the void of oblivion.

You look to the angel, with some magic you atempt to bring her back. The corpse begins moving again, but it's clear that's all it is. It's dead eyes stare at you.

>>45602327
You fix up the angel corpses wounds and give her a huge pair of boobs. There is no reaction because it is just a dead body.

The elf looks at it scared. "Can you get rid of it. It scares me."

Gonna take a short break for dinner. Won't be very long. Feel free to post things, but if it gets to be way too much, like last time, I might wind up just not using them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Wi8Fv0AJA4

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>45602506

Ask the Creator for forgiveness and let the angel come back to life.

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>45602506
Go on an adventure

>>45602506
I'm getting a res-erection.

Rolled 86 (1d100)

Dispose of the angel corpse so as not to upset our fiance. Let's command the dogs to eat it.

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>45602506
Attempt to become god for 2 minutes. And bring angel waifu back.

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>45602506
shieeeet. grab the angels soul out of the void and stuff it into current time line elf girl (no waifu elf).

Also make her a bit shorter and shrink her breasts.

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>45602506
shiiiieeeet. reach into the void and grab the angels soul, then slam it into non-waifu elf girl from this time line.


Also shrink her boobs and make her shorter.

>>45602672
>>45602691
oops, my connection is a bit bad atm.

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>45602506
Repair our glorious golden armor, make sure we get the massive pauldrons this time

File: thinking-please-be-patien(...).jpg (18 KB, 500x353)

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I'm back. gonna need a bit to process this one.

The commands will be used.

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>>45602562
You get on your knees again and pray to a higher power. You ask for forgiveness and the resurrection of the angel. A light opens in the sky as a spirit rises from the body and into heaven to be reborn after a long process of reincarnation. The body still stands there. Your elf girlfriend shudders.

>>45602634
You command Chewie and his gang of smaller dogs to devour the corpse angel. It quietly moans as it's torn to shreds. The elf thinks this is so much worse, she holds you tighter.

You wonder how long the reincarnation process will take, and if the angel will really be herself afterwords. This doesn't seem fair at all since it's basically your fault she got killed.

>>45602653
You decide to take the roll of god yourself and decide what to do with her. You begin to glow and float towards the heavens, before being bitchslapped by a giant hand from the clouds. God is not happy with your blasphemy. And you sure as hell aren't aloud in heaven with that aura of chaotic evil you put on yourself. Even if you didn't have it, you partied with Lucifer and are kind of a sociopath, I don't think you are welcome in Heaven regardless.

Very well. This will have to be handled with wizard magic, like everything else.

You get Elfana to lead you to her home. Upon unlocking the door you find a second Elfana crying and eating icecream.

"Oh wow its me!" says your Elfana. "Why are you crying?"

"Brad broke up with me. He said I was cursed, and was making him shit himself. Also who are you and why do you look like me?"

"Never mind any of that." You chime in. "I can make all your pain and suffering disappear"

"You can?" she looks up hopefully.

>>45602672
With one hand you grab her. With the other you open a portal to the void and grab a soul. You force start trying to force it into this worlds Elfana as she screams for help. Your Elfana just looks scared and confused.

As you force the soul into Elfana she passes out. You take this time to make a few adjustments.

File: red-eyed-girl.jpg (71 KB, 1600x1200)

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>>45603870
You make this elf a little shorter, with smaller boobs than your Elfana, you know, to tell them apart.

You go to close the portal to the void and you realize that you may have made a mistake, That was a portal to oblivion. The shorter Elfana gets up behind you with glowing red eyes.

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>45603937
Gaze into the portal and suddenly understand the true nature of the universe/

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>45603870
> You force start trying to force it into this worlds Elfana as she screams for help.

I'm starting to wonder if we aren't neutral.

Banish evil would from short Elf.

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>45603870
bitch slapped? us?

We start a magical slap fight with God and plan to slap his ass silly.

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>45603937
Love spell on demon elf

>>45604000
chaotic psychotic, the best most funnest alignment.

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>45603937
Teleport her away from our waifu, then set off the explosive runes we carved in the non waifu elf's body when no one was looking, because we totally saw this coming and was completely prepared for it

I like that our elf secretary wife is providing a less insane viewpoint through which we can reflect upon our actions.

>>45604033
I forsee a mostly destroyed skeletal demonic waifu trying to murder us in our future.

>>45604074
I almost miss her traumatized screaming at basically everything we do. Maybe we should dispel the love potion?

>>45604114
Nah, we need her as a moral compass to ignore. we want her to be happy, we're just shit at causing that to be true (see the dogs eating corpses)

Rolled 100 (1d100)

Now that we are out of love potions, we don't have that to fall back on. So let's brew another love potion.

>>45604187
Despite everything, we are surprisingly competent at making potions

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>>45603013
Forgot one.

You attempt to recreate the suits original design, failing again in all the same places. The bright yellow suit makes a return!

That of course happens sometime in between the shit hitting the fan.

So now the shits hitting the fan.

As you see the Demon Elf behind you you look back into the void from where it came.

>>45603989
It all makes sense now. You gain a complete understanding of the universe and how it functions. You finally understand it all! With this knowledge you could bend reality to your will! You could control everything and anything! Oh wait you already have this power... staring into oblivion is how you became a wizard in the first place.

>>45604023
You turn around and perform a quick smolder in the direction of the demon elf, literally no reaction.

>>45604000
So you settle with performing an exorcism on Elfana, she collapses to the floor as the spirit of Eve is forced from her, banished to some far off plane. Short Elfana turns over to stare at you through her tears in terror.

>>45604033
You teleport outside the building with you waifu Elfana and prepare to set off the explosive runs that were placed on the other Elfana, just now.

You look at your Elf girl and she just looks very sad.

"Why are you going to kill me? Did I do something wrong? I love you, I would never do anything to hurt you."

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>45604268
Spare the alternate Elf waifu's life and turn her into your bird familiar.

>>45604187
While you contemplate killing the other Elf, you sit down and begin to make a fuckton of love potions. So many, that you're pretty sure if you keep using them you don't even need to keep track of them, because you'll never run out.

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>45604268
Give waifu elf headpats.

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>45604317
Start a business selling love potions, use profits to purchase camels to sell to others, grow a beard and become a used camel salesman

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>45604268
Spare this Elfana. You've already ruined her life once. Summon an alternate you. A nonmagical, lawful good you, to take care of her.

>>45604317
We should prepare a love potion vat that we can teleport people into when needed.

>>45604359
Oh boy. Totes going to end up summoning are evil-er twin to "take care of" her.

>>45604317
>>45604003
Dont forget.

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>>45604317
You stand up, coming to a conclusion....

>>45604358
YOU'LL BE A USED CAMEL SALESMAN!
no wait, that would never work.

Oh ya you were solving the Elfana problem.

>>45604339
You go to pat your elf on the head, but accidentally lightly slap her. She says ow, but forgives you, she loves you after all.

You walk into the house. Elfana is still crying in confusion. This time she gets up and threatens you with a pen. "Don't come any closer."

You tell her not to worry. After this, you will leave her alone.

>>45604359
You split yourself into two... properly this time, not the torso leg thing again. Your Elfana is clapping, twice as much Ardeus to love! and you're getting along with her other self, you do love her!

Your clone steps towards Elfana. This is going to go great!

>>45604313
The clone waves his hand and speaks a magic word. His voice is like gravel, it hurts to listen to. Elfana shrinks into a small bird. He walks over and places his foot over the panicking bird.

>>45604414
shit. I was even planning on doing something with this, but i forgot... I'll get back to it at some point!

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>45604527
Shelter bird with your body!

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>45604527
Oh shit. blow our clones head off. Throw his soul into the void next to eve in the event he has a soul.

Have Daisy catch his corpse too we wouldn't want him falling on bird elf.

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>45604527
Silently gloat that you must be a good guy if an evil clone could be born.

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>45604527
Elf waifu: win evil clones heart with love!

>>45604581
Obviously this means we are lawful good.

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>>45604571
You dive and try and slide underneath the evil clones foot. You fail to protect the bird as puts just enough pressure on it to break some bones.

>>45604581
Then he turns to you and starts kicking you while you are down. As you take the beating, you whisper to yourself that this must mean you are the good guy, if you can have an evil clone. This makes you feel pretty good about yourself. Maybe you are good.

>>45604598
While you're taking the beating Elfana charges at the evil clone and gives him a big hug. He throws her to the ground but she gets back up a little bloodied.

"If you really are Ardeus's clone, then there must be some good in you too! I love Ardeus, and I love you. I think if you try really hard, and dig deep, you'll find you really do have a heart, and you'll stop trying to hurt people."

Your clone just tilts his head. He punches a hole straight through her chest and rips her heart out.

"You didn't need to do that... it already belonged to you."

She dies.

Rolled 96 (1d100)

HEAL THE BIRD

>>45604575
In a fit of rage you unleash your most devasting series of spells, far worse than anything you did against the angel.

You finish it off by putting your fingers to his head and blowing it clean off.

You grab the very soul escaping from his body and shove it straight through a portal into oblivion.

As he goes to fall onto the bird you catch the body and throw it across the room.

Rolled 39 (1d100)

Heal and resurrect Elfana.

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>45604811
Feel sadness for the first time ever.

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>45604811
Heal our waifu using the power of love (and magic)

Rolled 99 (1d100)

HE KILLED OUR WAIFU.

Destroy any kind of hell/oblivion/wherever where his soul might still exist. Just make the whole thing cease to be, hopefully in a way that causes psychic pain to those in it as they wink out of existence altogether.

>>45604792
>>45604836
>>45604885
These fucking rolls, It's all fun and games until somebody calls your waifu shit.

>>45604885
In some sense does this count as part of winning a slapfight against god/the universe?/sensible physics?

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>45604811
Out of sadness, become a hermit and swear off magic until we can forgive our selfs for causing the death of our waifu

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>45604825
>>45604838
shit, wizard magic isn't enough, and he body is too far gone to heal.

CHANNEL TO POWER IF FRIENDSHIP TO PUT WAIFU ELF'S SOUL IN DAISY'S BODY.

Rolled 14 (1d100)

Each year, on Elfana Secretariate's birthday, maysherestinpeace, magically replace the beverage of one random unmarried elf girl who is about to drink something with love potion, for the rest of time.

>>45605041

Also, maybe we need a magical girl transformation sequence to activate the power of friendship.

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>>45604792
You kneel next to the injured bird and hold it in your hands. Using magic, you repair its bones. You lay it down as you go to see if theres anything you can still do for your Elfana.

>>45604838
With the power of love you hold her close. She opens her eyes for a moment.

"It's okay Ardeus, i'm going to go away now, but I still get to be with you... you have another me now."

She smiles and closes her eyes.

You can't accept this. You muster up all your magic and try to bring her back.

>>45604825
The heartless corpse looks up at you, there is no sign of a soul behind its pale dead eyes. It moans in agony.

>>45604885
You open a portal to oblivion. You unleash a spell so powerful it shakes the very foundation of the universe. Oblivion is destroyed. Anything that once circled its drain, is only nothingness now.

A light of Heaven appears. Down comes a celestial avatar of the creator themselves.

"Ardeus, what have you done? To destroy a soul, utterly, it is forbidden. The most evil of all acts."

You turn around and slap god. "YOU'RE FORBIDDEN!"

>>45604003
God precedes to slap you back. This devolves very quickly.

once the slapping begins to slowdown you fall to your knees and start to cry.
>>45604836
You're sad. This is what sadness feels like... you thought you had been sad before... like when Elfana refused to marry you... this is... this so much worse.

God pats you on the head.

"Maybe you'll learn from this experience Ardeus. I hope you can."

>>45605084
>You turn around and slap god. "YOU'RE FORBIDDEN!"
oh my god my sides. I can't handle this.

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>45605084
Learn from our mistakes

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>45605084
Teleport to an uninhibited part of the planet and live a life as a hermit for a while to clear our thoughts

>>45605084
>"Maybe you'll learn from this experience Ardeus. I hope you can."
You are hilarious.

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>>45604964
>>45605116

You get up and try to stay calm. You gather your things and walk out the house. You magic the whole place clean and place the bird in her bed giving her a kiss goodnight, changing her back into an Elf.

Tomorrow she will wake up and remember none of this.

This will be your last use of magic for a long time.

>>45605139
You get yourself a nice hermit cloak and staff and prepare to teleport somewhere very far away. No... you think you'll take the long way.

Centuries pass.

In an old wizards tower in the Kingdom of Randar, ruled by Queen Randar IV the Immortal, surrounded by bypasses, and covered in daisies, an old man returns home. He returns to a golem made of flowers.

"Hello again Daisy, I think I might have possibly learned something... maybe." The old man says.

"Maybe I'm ready to do some magic again..."

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>45605327
Use a spell to learn the fate of our elf waifus.

>>45605041
>>45605327
nope?

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>45605327
Find an apprentice, all these years made us realize we need to pass on our knowledge

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>45605399
One Apprentice? Let's get two. Competition breeds something useful.... probably.

Let's try and broaden our horizons and find a Dwarven guy and a Halfling girl to be our apprentices.

>>45605439
I like your thinking, let's do it

>>45605327

Daisy stares at you. "You have gotten older."

"Yes now come here you, there's something I want to try." You say as you begin marking runes onto Daisy

>>45605373
"What are you doing master?"

"I'm gonna need to lend your body to someone for a while Daisy, nothing personal, you're a fine golem."

Daisy allows you to continue your first spell in centuries. And boy is it a doozie.

You rip open the veils of reality and using love instead of mana, your heart calls out of a soul. The soul is pulled into Daisies body.

The plant Golem looks over itself and looks back at you, an old man smiling with delight.

Guys...we literally became wizards by staring into oblivion. Any apprentice we have is going to have to do that too...

>>45605544
Oh, shit we destroyed oblivion, does that mean we destroyed magic too?

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>45605439
There have got to be halflings and dwarves that were members of the encyclopedia foundation in the other timeline. We can yank one of each into this timeline to see how much knowledge they got figured out in the hundred years or so? before their planet was wiped out. Let's pull them from just before their deaths.

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>45605544
and we blew up oblivion forever.


uh.


We're the best wizard in all of existence, we can figure something out.

Let's create a new plane of magical power. A nicer, more mellow plane of sort of endless dim white light and energy. Not exactly a plane of good-gooder powers, but not some empty void of horror either.

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>45605487
Roll credits

>>45605583
do-gooder powers*

>>45605561
We're still an all powerful mage, it'll be fine. We'll be able to figure something out

>>45605601
Actually, yeah, that would be a pretty sweet ending.

Especially since, having destroyed oblivion, there can never be any new wizzards now.

>>45605583
>>45605619
We already figured it out, OP said it here>>45605487

It's love, all you need is love.

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>>45605487
"Who are you? What am I doing here? I'm supposed to be dead... again..."

You excitedly grab the golem and drag her over to an old crystal ball. You dust it off and attempt to find the elf girl.

An image appears and you see the elf girl, as young as ever (elves are immortal after all) preparing dinner for herself.

"I did it!" You tell the golem, "I saved you both!"

The golem looks at you. Incapable of displaying emotion.

"Oh no... You're him. You're Ardeus Arcanum."

"I BROUGHT YOU BACK WITH LOVE" you shout.

"YOU DRUGGED ME! WE WEREN'T IN LOVE YOU BASTARD! I HATED YOU! YOU FORCE FED ME A POTION SO THAT YOU COULD MARRY ME!"

Oh ya...

The golem proceeds to beat the ever LOVE-ing shit out of you. Sorry anons. You can't brew love.

>>45605669
>You can't brew love.
That's what you think. Force feed the golem a love potion.

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>45605669
Lay there and let her beat us up till she gets tired.
Tell her you love her.
Wait for answer.
Roll credits.

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>45605703
err
Force feed the golem a love potion.

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>45605669
Share your mind with her, let her see your emotions, your magics, and everything that has led up to this event so that she may truely understand.

(I really hope this is a good roll)

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>45605669
Right... That was what happened

Banish her soul, bring back daisy

Create a new Daisy golem body and put Daisy's soul into it.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>45605792
Apparently I forgot how to roll dice in the last few minutes.

>>45605669
Maybe we should just hop to an alternate timeline where our original proposal to Elfina worked out somehow, the rest of the timeline happened as usual, and we then resurrected an actually in love with us Elfina.

Rolled 43 (1d100)

Travel back in time to a few months after Elfina's birth. Put the love potion in a baby bottle and feed it to her while making eye contact, then teleport back to the present day.

Rolled 23, 23 = 46 (2d100)

>>45605969
No. How about no. That's fucked on so many levels that they'll have to invent new levels just to describe it. Rolling to ignore. And roll credits.

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>>45605707
You lay back and let the beatings continue.

Elfana the golem is really not showing signs of tiring. You may have built daisy too well.

Hours pass, you're actually pretty surprised you aren't dead. The golem stops and looks down at you.

"I love you"

The beatings continue.

Several hours later, your body broken and mangled you give her another smile.

"I love you."

"WHY!? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE ALL OF THIS WORTH IT? What could I possibly mean to you that you just can't let me die? I'm not special, I'm just some random person you kidnapped."

The golem gets down starts to make crying sounds.

You reach out with your magic and show her.

>>45605738
You try to help her understand. She sees it all, the whole saga, everything you've done up until this point, all the trials and challenges you faced just to get her to love you. She remembers the good times you had together, building that bypass and that song you wrote for her, the one that made everyone cry.

>>45605724
She reaches into your bag and pulls out a love potion. She chugs it and goes to hold you.

You get down on one knee and present her the Katana.

The wedding is a beautiful gathering.

Randal IV is there in place of a priest as her authority in this world is higher than that of God themselves.

Rat the Imp is the ring bearer, the ghost of Randal III is your best man. Elfana is her own bridesmaid, along with the angel and a new golem body for Daisy. A puppy descended from a long line of your dogs is the flower girl.

The other wizards, having regained their original forms and magic are all there as well as the Organoans. The rest of the crowd is made up mostly of blackjack players and hookers. Larry and Lucifer hold hands, Lucifer always cries at weddings.

As you lean in to kiss the bride you whisper something in her ear.

"Love potions don't work on Golems by the way."

Her eyes widen in realization.

And they lived happily ever after.

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>>45605724

>>45606123
Ok, now roll credits

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>>45606123
This was the perfect ending, in every way especially Randall being our best man. Thank you OP, I'd love to see you run a full quest desu.

Sorry for anyone who got missed, or started posting after I started writing the ending. It's been a real fun adventure and I'm glad i could run it.

I hope you guys enjoyed and I'd love to do it again some other time. In the meantime I'll probably work on getting myself some way to let people know when I'm running something. Like twitter.

There will probably be more OPMUQ in the future, probably starting from scratch again, but it won't be for a while, as I got exams going on.

Someone better archive this shit. This was great

>>45606123
Hey now, who said you could cop my feels?

Seriously though. This was awesome. The ending even more so. For how stupid this whole farce was, it was also hilarious, and fun. Excellent job.

Oh I learned how to do that actually. I'll get on it.

Yeah this was great. Nice ending. Good job WizardQM.

Well, I archived the thread and found out WizardQM on twitter is already taken. I'll have to come up with a new name to go by here I guess.

This was a journey. I didn't even read the other two or whatever and this was great.

>>45606709
I like to think the narrative is silly enough that you can enjoy even without context.

Also i got twitter for future threads:
https://twitter.com/ExcaliburQM

Well that's everything. I'm heading out. See you later /tg/