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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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Alright, I'm bored, I'm gonna do a QM thing.

In this quest you will be Edward Russells, an 18 year old boy who has been trained in magic by his parents. They died a few years back in a tragic, yet rather entertaining magic accident in Vegas.

It is currently summer vacation, you have no responsibilities because you are filthy rich. You are also a good for nothing lazy bum who can solve any problem with a flick of the wrist and a stupid phrase that sounds like you made it up on the spot. You are incredibly bored, so you decide that maybe it's time you did something with your magic. Maybe you can go help out at the summer fair going on in town today, or maybe ruin it. You're pretty much a god, you can do whatever you want.

>Roll 1d100 to cast a spell.
>Rolls of 50 or higher succeed.
>Less than 50 ends in a backfire
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>45431073
Bring your parents back from the dead, no zombie.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>45431073
>>Roll 1d100 to cast a spell.
Why not just use 1d2?

Summon the Momerpresso Malamatartarei!
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

Teleport right in the middle of the town fair. As flashy as possible, with as many witnesses as possible.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>45431132
Change the color of the sky to neon chrome!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>45431073
Use your magic to take away all your magic.
>>
>>45431120
Youve tried and failed to bring them back enough times. You ready the spell for it and you just get the feeling this one is gonna fail too.

You think about getting some advice from another source on the subject. so you decide to summon "Momerpresso Malamatartarei!"
(Who i just googled and doesn't appear to be a reference of any kind, so ima roll with it.)

You use the incantations and gesture a little bit and VOILA! Momerpresso Malamatartarei, the world renowned wizard is right in front of you. With his famous top hat and simple wand design.

You're so excited you could just turn the sky neon chrome! As a matter of fact you will. With a simple spell you transform the sky... completely red. Mass panic can be heard from in town. Momerpresso Malamatartarei just looks at you disappointed and reverses the spell.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>45431279
Challenge him to a Wizard Duel!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
>>
>>45431279
"Oh wow. I'm such a fan Mr.Malamatartarei. can you help me bring my parents back from the dead?"

Momerpresso Malamatartarei just laughs. "Kid, you think I got time to just go around and bring back the parents of anyone who asks me? I'm Momerpresso Motherfucking Malamatartarei, I got things to do man."
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>45431279
>>45431333
Consume his essence! Then onto G_d herself!
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>45431279
Make everyone's waifu real.
>>
>>45431333
"But.. you're Momerpresso Malamatartarei, it would only take a moment of your time!"

"You're right. It would. I just don't care."

That's the last straw. You conjure yourself a glove and slap Momerpresso Malamatartarei across the cheek.

"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL SIR. THE LOSER HAS THEIR ESSENCE CONSUMED.

(This one succeeds purely because i don't think challenging someone to a duel is really a spell so much as a regular action, which you don't need to roll for. Also if the actions I'm picking seem kind of arbitrarily chosen, it's because they are. I intended to do every command, but it's getting more replies than I expected.)
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>45431455
I cast "Righteous Fist of Vishnu the Destroyer, Tier 3!"
>>
>>45431455
Momerpresso Malamatartarei agrees to your duel and your terms.

>>45431397
You open with a spell. You're not entirely sure how this will help, but you've decided to bring everyone's waifu's to life. With some fancy hand gestures and a word of power, passed down the Russell line for generations, you release your magical energies.

Momerpresso Malamatartarei is ready to dodge, but then he sees his beloved best girl Saber coming towards him. He opens his arms to accept her before he can realize you fucked up the spell and this is actually some twisted abomination of a Tulpa.

Soon hundreds of thousands of Tulpa pour out of the ground around you. All different shapes and sizes, all twisted misrepresentations, ghostly nightmarish abominations of arcane horror.all floating in different directions to find and consume their admirers.

The Saber creature bites into Momerpresso Malamatartarei's face and he begins to panic.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>45431673
Summon a sword. Shit talk his waifu, then kill him.
>>
>>45431673

While Momerpresso Malamatartarei is distracted you decide its time to act.

>>45431670
It's time to bring out the big guns. You open up the ancient seals placed upon you as a child to hold back your immense arcane power and cast: Righteous Fist of Vishnu the Destroyer, but this time... you're taking it to tier 3.

You prepare yourself for the aftermath that will follow what will surely be your most poweful attack. You swing your fist forward to finish the casting but punch yourself REALLY hard in the face, giving yourself a black eye and making it hard to focus on casting.

This WOULD have had the next spell cast at a -10 penalty or something... but that guy already rolled it so were golden.

>>45431715
Recovering from your injury you decide to take the easy way. You summon a sheathed Katana for yourself, teleport behind him and whisper softly in his ear.

"Your Waifu is shit."

Then you unsheathe your Katana and stab him and his Saber waifu through the back.

"Nothing personell, Kid." you say to yourself as the you begin to consume the magic essence of the fallen wizard. You can feel his might coursing through your blood as you grow stronger.

Spells now succeed on a 45 or higher.
>>
>>45431838
This is hilariously edgy fun.
>>
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>>45431838
With your wizard idol defeated and his powers consumed. You look out into your town, the city is ablaze with chaos as scantily clad animu girls as well as various other fictional characters chase the citizens around. Confusion and chaos fill the world.

You wonder how your friend's are doing. Well acquaintances really, you don't have many friends, to nobodies surprise.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>45431932
Send all the Tulpa to Mars.
>>
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>>45431959
Wow. alright then.

Deciding you probably should clean up this mess you made, you think over how to get rid of them. Only a cruel man would create life just to destroy it. Clearly the morally correct thing to do in this situation is to simply send the Waifu's somewhere else, where they can be free to do as they please.

AND THAT PLACE IS MARS.

You pull out your wizard keys. You fiddle around with them a bit to find the right one. The keys to the Bermuda Triangle are way too big and always get in the way.

Anyways, you pull out a celestial key and perform an unlocking motion. A giant red gate appears infront of you and swings open to reveal the surface of mars. A powerful gust of wind begins to pull all the Tulpa across the world away and toss them onto the surface of the red planet. With the last one gone, the gate seals and fades away.

The earth is safe again at last, it's a good thing our hero exists.
>>
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>>45432090
I giggled.
>>
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>>45432090
While you're sitting around feeling very proud of yourself, a young woman is making her way up your family's very long and very expensive path to your very large and very expensive home.

It would appear that it is your friend... well again more like acquaintance, Birdy is coming to see you.

Birdy is another magic user in your town, and is well aware of your powers. She's likely here to give you crap for what you just pulled with the Waifus.
>>
Make a smug anime girl
>>
>>45432195
"What the actual fuck was that?" she asks.

"My friend was just attacked by a Japanese school girl! AN EVIL ONE"

"You remind Birdy that she has no friends because she's just as big a shit as you are. It also doesn't help she tried to bring her raven familiar to school one day and got herself an embarrassing nickname.

She's about to respond, but then she notices the dead body on the ground.

"Oh wow is that Momerpresso Malamatartarei? Can we bring him back to life and get an autograph?"
"
>>
>>45432277
I'm pretty sure we made like... a billion smug anime girls... and then sent them to Mars.
>>
Try to revive him fale and summon a smug anime girl instead and thats a lot of smug anime girl this revelation has made me feel extremely satisfied
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>45432378
Ressurecting the wizard with the long name as an anime girl.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>45432298
Cast charm. Comence operation harem END.
>>
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>>45432402
You are my hero
>>
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>>45432402
>That number.
Well fuck now I have to do this.

Well you explain to Birdy that you think you can bring him back, but since your attempts with your parents have always failed, you think you'll try it with a little twist this time.

You call forth the proper reagents. You form a pentagram around the body with manga artist blood. At each point you place a pricey DVD of anime.The words are read, the pentagram glows... it's working.

Momerpresso Malamatartarei lives again, and he... er... she couldn't be more smug about it.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>45432523
Charm on them!! Operation harem END!! Now it'll work, I just know!!
>>
>>45432440
With the two women in front of you, an idea begins to form. Yes... you will seduce them.

"So ladies..."

"I used to be a dude, I'm not interested bro."
Momerpresso Malamatartarei cuts you off.

Foiled again... but not for long.

You muster up some mana to try and influence the minds of the two women. You can feel you are altering the way they think of you... but the disgusted look on Birdy's face tells you it isn't the way you intended.
>>
>>45432573
And now we discover that Edward was a lonely robot desperate for love all along.
Valentine's day does this to people. Kek.
>>
>>45432573
Momerpresso Malamatartarei on the other hand looks at you with a smug look and gives you a thumbs up.

"Hey you want to go for a beer?"
>>
A SMUG ANIME GIRL OWER POWER IS ENDLESS. So he or i mean she lost her power because we ate her magic essence right
>>
>>45432663
Ya, I had written a bit where they turned themselves back, but I realised Ed kinda ate their magic. or whatever.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>45432642
Become smug anime girl. Yuri best love story.
>We win
>The quest
>>
Rolled 77 + 0 (1d100 + 0)

>>45432642
>accept the beer
>but first you must resurrect your parents with the power of anime
>>
>>45432681
I have succeeded in turning this in to smug yuri mage quest
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>45432599
>>45432642

Anyways, you're about to say yes to Momerpresso Malamatartarei's offer when Birdy, in a spell induced jealousy has began casting a spell.

I have decided for the sake of chaos and fun that other spell casters are subject to the same rules as you. Birdy needs higher than 50.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>45432751
fuck you birdy, no
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>45432751
Turn Birdy into a futa.
>>
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>>45432751
Birdy fails to change the smug anime Momerpresso Malamatartarei into his former male self. Instead she has somehow managed to make him EVEN MORE SMUG. The smugness is reaching a point that was once thought impossible.
>>
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>>45432785
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>45432809
>Go with Momer on the beer date
>cast magic missile into the darkness
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

Rocks fall. Everyone dies.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>45432298
We need to rock them both with such a strong magical orgasm they fall in love with each other as well as us. Because magic.
>>
>>45432809
Swap Birdy's body with her familiar's.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>45432859
magical barrier from the unknown
>>
I agree only smug anime girl love no futa just got to change self to smug anime girl now and were good to go
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>45432863
Forgot roll.
>>
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Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>45432809
This is turning into magical sex quest
Introduce more girls anon
Cast open a magical portal from an unknown realm
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>45432871
You can't save yourself.
You can't save no one.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

Summon a Unicorn for every magical girl.
>>
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I clame this thread for smug anime girls everywhere
>>
>>45432852
>>45432863
>>45432695

You decide since Momerpresso Malamatartarei is probably more attracted to women, as they implied before, you will make yourself into a smug anime girl yourself. You don't turn out half bad.

You grab Momerpresso Malamatartarei and head out on a date, leaving a flustered Birdy in the body of a raven, while her familiar tries to help her out. You summon some beers, chair, and sit looking out over the water from your family's expensive balcony.

You decide the night could be more fun with a bit of magic so you cast magic missile. Momerpresso Malamatartarei is really impressed, he/she leans in towards you... but then it dawns on you. MAGIC MISSILE CAN NEVER MISS.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>45433008
oh god what does it hit?

QUICK, GIVE TEMPORARY HITPOINTS TO YOUR NEW LOVER
>>
>>45433008
OH GOD THE MISSLES HAVE HIT Momerpresso Malamatartarei! THERE IS BLOOD EVERYWHERE!

You call for help from Birdy but she's a Raven right now!
>>
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NO NOT THE PURE SMUG ANIME GIRL LOVE IT CANT END
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>45433048

You pull out your spell book, you know there aren't a lot of wizard healing spells, but... oh thank god. With a hair of newt and spleen of goat you manage to give Momerpresso Malamatartarei 1d10 temporary hitpoints.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>45433089
Put Momerpresso Malamatartarei's soul into your body so you can be together. Forever.
>>
>>45433130
>1
Oh no... it's not enough... she looks up at you one last time.

Don't let this change you Edward... you'll have a good life. It will be hard to move on... but you have to try.

She holds your hand and in her final moments, she gives you one last smug smile, before passing on.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CPY9pQVzx9s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>45433293
Meh, plenty of smug anime girls around.
Go find some people to turn into smug anime girls.
>>
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>>45433133
> How fitting this only succeeded because you have the magic from them in the first place.

You feel Momerpresso Malamatartarei's life force leaving their body. AND YOU REFUSE IT.

YOU'RE BASICALLY A GOD, GOD DAMN IT. IF YOU CAN'T USE MAGIC FOR LOVE, THAN WHAT IS IT EVEN FOR!?

You deny god herself and pull Momerpresso Malamatartarei's life force into your own body.

You feel... stronger.
Loved.
Whole.
And most of all... SMUG
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>45433371
Create a clone of yourself.
Rape yourself.
>>
YUS SMUG IS LIFE SMUG IS LOVE
>>
>>45433396
No this is a pure quest about smug anime girl love
>>
>>45433371
You have gained the power of love.
> +2 to all stats... which are meaningless.

Momerpresso Malamatartarei is now a part of you, and you a part of them. You are one, all actions taken are assumed to be the actions of the couple, working in unison. There is no need to ask the opinions of one or the other. Unless you somehow manage to get separated.

Now then. Back to the magiks.

>>45433396
gonna refer you to >>45432840

>>45433321
You... (who should probably come up with a new name for yourself.) decide the best course of action is spread the wonders of anime smugness with strangers. You prepare a spell that should lead you to someone new to change.

Unfortunately you sneeze in the middle of the incantation, you appear right on the other side of the house, with Birdy again.
>>
This went weird really quickly.

I apologize for ruining your quest.
>>
>>45433528
Birdy is back to normal, both in her right body and with her opinion of you no longer clouded by failed charm spells.

"How'd the date go?"
>>
And so mitty the goddess of love magic and smug anime girls was born
>>
>>45433561
I mean.. I'm having fun. It was never really intended to go anywhere in particular. I'm just a little drunk and bored on Valentines day.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>45433574
Charm again. We'll be one with the harem END!!
>>
I am enjoying myself this is a pretty good thread
>>
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>>45433599
You smile.
"Our date is still going actually... and you're invited."

You make sure to slip some magic into those last few syllables. Birdy looks at you, her eyes widen.

"I'd LOVE to. Let's go right now!"

Her tone and gaze are a little...frightening.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>45433666
Creepy.

Get rid of her, send her to planet waifu. (Mars)
>>
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>>45433666
Regretting this spell almost immediately, you decide that Birdy is better of on mars, with the abominations you created earlier.

You reach for your wizard keys again and attempt to open a portal to mars again. You grab the wrong keys though, and accidentally open a gate to the Cold Void, the inter dimensional space between spaces, where only the most vile of abominations call home. You attempt to close the gate before anything unnatural can enter your world.
>>
>>45433800
Before you can close the gate a monstrous abomination pulls itself into your world and lets out sounds that make your mind shiver and quake.

The gate closes behind it. What ever shall you do?
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>45433843
Comprehend Languages
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

Turn it in to a smug anime girl
>>
>>45433897
This is why i dont role very often
>>
>>45433878
If you could understand this creature maybe you could stand a chance. You try to focus the magical energies of the world around you into your mind. The constant racket of the monster is making this really really difficult.

As you attempt to understand the language of the creature, you instead remove the ability to understand your own language.

Which is really bad... you think in your language.. oh god... I think you're having a mental breakdown
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

Learn to speak gods language
>>
You are now Birdy.

You recently got back into your body, which is nice. Your familiar, Poe also thinks this is nice.

There is also a giant abomination in front of you that hurts to listen to almost as much as it hurts to be parted from Edward for even a moment.

The one true reason for living, and single bright light in your otherwise meaningless life is currently convulsing on the ground making half assed attempts to turn things into smug anime girls... seemingly out of reflex.
>>
Try to make this monster your pet.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>45433991
But I don't want to be Birdy. She's not nearly smug or anime enough.

Try to fix the other guy.
>>
Rolled 68909370993 (1d100000000000)

>>
>>45434028
Theres no time to lose. You pull out your wand and point it at Edward and fix him. There's no time for fancy ingredients or hand gestures when your very reason for being is in danger.
>>
>>45434063
You are now Edward again. You are fixed, with the ability to understand not only your own language and thoughts again, but also the monsters, just like you originally tried. How convenient.

You listen to the monster carefully.

"Yeah hi... my name is Erderasjljlers, I'm just looking for a place to hang low to escape my dark master of tyranny, does this dimension mind if I stick around for a bit?"
>>
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>>45434030
>>
Smug anime girl reflexes: anyone who trys to surprise this character has to make a reflex save or be turned into a smug anime girl
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>45434100
Tell the monster he's cool to crash with you.
But first fix Birdy, I don't like this, spells trouble.
>>
>>45434142
Oooh, 1 off buddy.

You prepare a simple charm that should reverse the effects of the spell on Birdy. Her smile fades.

"What is that alien saying to you? Is that bitch trying to steal you from me? I don't think so!"

Birdy begins trying to cast a spell to send Erderasjljlers back.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>45434201
Silence Birdy and return her mind to normal.

Can I do that in one casting?
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

Cast Sleep on birde
>>
>>45434244
>Can I do that in one casting?
I mean, it's "Overpowered Magic User Quest"

But you failed. Your attempt to both silence Birdy and alter her mind for like the 5th time in a few minutes has effectively put her in a coma.
>>
>>45434257
You see Birdy in a coma and decide you better double tap with a sleep spell, just in case. You pull out your trusty wizard sleep powder and say the magic words while sprinkling some over her. Somehow you manage to fail this, and instead of putting her to sleep you have woken her up from her coma.

But that short "rest" really did a number for her. She recovered her maximum hit points and recovered from all mental effects.
>>
We may be overpowered but we are really bad at useing all that power
>>
>>45434325
I should introduce more wizards to consume.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

Attempt to obtain smug anime girl godhood
>>
>>45434318
Neat.
Now return attention to the alien guy. Ask about dark master of tyranny. Attempt to turn dark master into anime girl.
>>
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>>45434359
You float up into the air, eyes glowing and begin to ascend into the cloud. Erderasjljlers stares in awe.

Birdy seems concerned.

"Edward no! You've already spat in the face of God, you can't go through with this, she'd never allow it!"

The clouds part as a giant glowing hand swats you out of the air and back into the ground.
>>
>>45434380
Lifting yourself out of the small crater that formed, you look to Erderasjljlers. "So about this Dark Master of Tyranny you spoke of?"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>45434455
>>45434472
>Become dark lord of tyranny and start destroying the world
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

Give Erderasjljlers a less sanity-blasting form. Namely a smug anime girl.
>>
Tell god we only want to be god of love smug anime girls and possibly magic and ower domane of godly power will be mars and thats it as a compromise we wont have god powers anywhere else
>>
>>45434496
You summon a carpet and move your feet around on it. You reach out and touch Erderasjljlers E.T. style and give them a static shock, which ripples through their body transforming them into....

a smug anime girl.

"This form pleases me." says Erd, in English now.
>>
>>45434483
You are now the Dark Lord of Tyranny.
Your are Barderella Darkstorm, Baroness of the Cold Void and ruler over all things in this nightmare realm.

As a crazy expert spell caster, you succeed on a 30 or higher.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

Attempt to expand ower power in ower own world by creating a smug anime girl empire
>>
Now that we are the dark mistress of the nightmare realm and the tyrant of destruction...we should try to convince Erd and Birdy to both go on a date with us.
>>
>>45434697
Recently, a worker beast by the name of Erderasjljlers has gone missing.

This has made you very upset, you can't just start loosing worker beasts, the whole economy will collapse.

The last thing you want to do is be subjugated by someone else like that nasty "Smug Anime Wizard" that people keep talking about.

Apparently the jackass tried to dethrone God. You have half a mind to go over to their universe right now and plunge it into never ending darkness and destruction.
>>
>>45434730
Yes you are right we need a smug anime girl harem
>>
>>45434712
Meanwhile in main character dimension.

Negotiations with god on expanding into the ranks of divinity do not seem to be going too well. God is simply not too pleased with the idea of dividing her limitless power. If you want to reach Godhood you got to do it the old fashioned way, dethroning her in combat of magiks.

This failed negotiation has pretty much done nothing negative to you whatsoever after all, you pretty much are already a god.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

Try to find smug anime wizard girl
>>
>>45434802
In my drunkeness I have written myself into a confusing situation. Is this a command for Ed or Dark Tyrant?

I'm gonna assume it's for Tyrant to seek out the anime wizard and not for Ed to find another like himself.

You reach forward and pull reality apart at the seams with your bare hands. You walk through the hole you have just torn and arrive at a very expensive looking mansion.

You hover around the home (because walking is for PEASANTS.) inspecting it. It is definitely wizard quality. You move to the front yard where you find 2 smug anime girls and a plain, boring one with a raven on her shoulder.
>>
>>45434881
Silence the wizards. It's the first step to subjugation.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>45434910
>>
>>45434881
I understand a d yess its for void chick runing quest can be weird it a bunch of people playing one person all giving conflicting orders
>>
>>45434928
You make quick work of these fools. With a careful word and flick of the wrist, the Anime Wizard and Boring Bird Woman are powerless against you.
>>
>>45434951
Put the bird woman in a bird cage.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>45434991
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

Throw something heavy at the floting lady
>>
>>45435014
For mc
>>
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>>45435006
You decide to give Birdy a cage fitting of her name.

As you sort of start losing focus as your thoughts wander to how you know Birdy's name since nobody told you it. This absent minded wandering comes back to bite you as you realize you've actually just formed a giant bird cage around yourself. How embarrassing.
>>
>>45435014
You see an ominous floating lady in your yard.

You're pretty sure she just said something that sounded like a spell.

You attempt to throw a boulder at her to be safe but you realize you've been silenced! Instead you lean down to pick up a rock to throw the old fashioned way, when you look back up, the mysterious woman is now in a very large cage. She seems as confused as you are.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>45435107
Break the silence.
>>
>>45435123
You muster up the powers of love and smugness and yell really loudly. The silence is now broken.

The mysterious floating lady shouts back to say that isn't how that works.

But it actually is.
Full magical abilities get.
>>
>>45435143
Tyrant, swap places with Birdy with magic teleport.
>>
Tell the strang floting lady to please leave unless she's here to join your harem and help take ove the world and turn it into the imperium of smug anime girls
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>45435161
You really gotta remember to roll dude.

Here, take mine.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>
>>45435170
>>45435183

You approach the floating lady in the cage and inform her this is private property and that you're really only letting members of your anime harem stay here.

Birdy asks what that makes her, you look back to respond and see the floating lady with Poe on her shoulder. Looking back in the cage you find a confused Birdy.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

Turn birdy into smug anime girl
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>45435211
Dark tyrant make Birdy into anime harpy girl.
>>
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>>45435239
>>45435250

Oh hey, teamwork.

You giggle at the sight of the Bird Girl in the cage. If she weren't so boring looking maybe this could be more fun.

With a quick snap of your fingers and a loud squawk, the girl disappears behind a cloud of smoke and feathers.

When the smoke clears Birdy is visibly upset by this transformation.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>45435319
Change her mind. Literally.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

Turn dark tyrant in to smug anime girl and
>>
And complement birdy
>>
>>45435339
You think all that "freewill" and "personality" might be getting in the way of you really enjoying your new Bird Girl. You attempt to have it removed. When messing with her head you instead wind up getting very confused.

Like... where are you right now? And why were you here again? And why is this wizard trying to turn you into a smug anime girl?

You should probably deal with them before doing any more digging around in the brains of peasant bird people.
>>
>>45435364
You take a break from attempting to turn this nasty floating woman (who by now Erderasjljlers has told you is her previous ruler) into a smug anime girl to reassure Birdy that this new body looks really nice on her.

Birdy thinks you're just lying to make her feel better, but she still appreciates it.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

Steal here power well shes confused
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>45435376
fix your brain issues and focus on the MAIN TASK AT HAND, DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD
>>
>>45435425
To late smug anime girl wins again YUS
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>45435409
>>45435423
use preventative magic powers against power stealing
>>
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>>45435443
You sure anon?
>>
>>45435423
>>45435425
>>45435446

The dark Tyrant focuses on her inner most thoughts and radiates clarity throughout her body, cleansing her of any mental damage.

During this time however, it seems that smug anime wizard started leeching off of your beautiful magic supply. Luckily you preform the right counteractive measures in time. That disgusting welp is going to pay for this insolence.

Ed magic get
successful spell on a 40

Tyrant magic lose
successful spell on a 35
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>45435446
Counter spell his counter
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>45435483
MAGIC DUEL
Tyrant magic GO
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>45435484
Make smug anime girl god into bara god
>>
>>45435484

This is some excellent magic supply, if you keep this up you're bound to surpass everyone in magiks and rule the world.

The Tyrant is trying to counter your leeching but you're a damn good caster yourself, and you counter the counter.

Both spell casters meet at 35.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>45435513
>Become Allgod and Smite these lowly heretics for fucking with your space-time magicks
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

Rip out the last of her magic well you silence her
>>
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>>45435497
The Tyrant calls forth the ancient glove of Shlockazuaala and slaps Ed's face with it, initiating the duel of the century.

Alright. Both Sides will roll. Higher Roll gets to cast a spell at +10
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>45435563
Seal the magic of this cretin forever with the last of your magic powers.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>45435578
MAGIC DUEL TIME (For the Dark Lord!)
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

The Tyrant begins with a powerful beam of energy.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

This is actually a rather poor showing from the dark lord. Poe and Birdy cheer on Ed who they know can win this. Erderasjljlers just seems confused by the whole situation but is excited non the less.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>45435578
>>45435595
Ho shit, let's get the Dark Lord to win!
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>45435618
Turn the Dark Lord to Stone.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

an anti-magic meteor (anti-magic field) is heading toward the planet!
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>45435633
You misspelled smug anime girl made of stone
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>45435618
A magical explosion occurs, no one wins, everyone turns to stone.
>>
File: Turned-to-Stone.png (1.34 MB, 1330x1020)
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>>45435633
Ed easily counters the Dark Lords attack, leaving her wide open.

You take the time to do this one right. You chant the incantation, the Tyrant eyes widen as she recognises the spell and attempts a counter, but she's too late. Her pale skin turns hard and grey, turning to stone. Frozen in place with a look of horror and defeat.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>45435741
Remove her clothes. And shift her around to look happier. Leave her in a park and see if people fuck it.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

We is now smug anime girl lord
>>
>>45435783
what the fuck anon
>>
>>45435795
I was going to suggest turning he back and well shes recovering steal the rest of her power then smug anime girl time
>>
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>>45435783
Do you fuck many statues anon?

You position the statue to look a little nicer. A pose like pic related
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>45435834
>Summon the next lord in
>>
>>45435785
You celebrate becoming master smug anime wizard with a smug smile. Your bird friends and your worker beast girl applaud and bow to their new ruler.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

Is her soul sealed in the statue if yes then steao the rest of her power unfreeze her then smug anime girl her
>>
>>45435859
You clap your hands saying "Bring out the next lord!"

Birdy suggests maybe freeing her from the cage first.
>>
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>>45435879
>mission fail
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

Free birdy
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>45435891
>>45435909

>become birdy, unseal all the magic on self and destroy the cage that you were once locked inside, revealing that you are indeed the next lord
>>
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>>45435879
You decide to look at the soul of the Tyrant, still trapped within the body of stone. You begin to leech off the statue only this time it feels different... almost like... The statue is leeching off you.

The statue's body begins to move, like it's animating itself. Uh oh.
>>
I think im going to stop posting im getting tired but i will still be here don't makd me come back you wouldn't like me when im smug
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>45435939
>STEAL ALL THE POWER FROM SMUG ANIME GIRL WIZARD
>>
>>45435939
"THIS IS NOT OVER" the statue screams as she begins to prepare he next spell.

>>45435909
You ignore her for a quick sec to free birdy.

The dark tyrant is a little upset you prioritized the bird girl, but you can't hear her over the sound of no longer being the character of focus.

>>45435916
You are now Birdy.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>45435939
Take back what was rightfully yours to begin with!
(and a little extra for good measure)
>>
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>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>45435966
Birdy: Help dark lord take down this smug anime girl for trying to screw with your life!
>>
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>>45435978
>>
>>45435984
Woah, Edward is your friend. Well not friend, more like acquaintance. I mean, he/she/they have been acting REALLY weird lately, you think they're going through some kind of phase that hopefully they'll grow out of.

That power you thought about using for a split second there to help the dark lord WAS enough to break that silence that was put on you like, forever ago. Plus Ed just busted the cage open, neat.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>45436011
Charm Dark Lord.
>>
I really want to play some game maybe on d20 as a smug anime wizard girl
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>45436011
>Remember that Edward was the one who dragged you into this mess in the first place
>He was the one who turned you into the smug anime girl
>who made you love crazy for him for no reason
>who turned you into your familiar against your will
>Destroy him
>Let the Darkness Take over
>>
>>45436021
You let your harpy instincts take over for a bit and sing a magic song in the direction of the dark lord.

She looks at you and no longer seems upset that Ed was more focused on you, who wouldn't be. You're amazing. She gives you a shy wave.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>45436037
Damn anon.
>>45436044
Dark Lord, try to defeat smug anime wizard for the purpose of wooing this Birdy.
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>45436044
Aw yeah Birdy's on a roll. Charm Ed too
>>
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>>45436037
Before you do anything else you sort of think about your current situation.

It's time to compare and contrast wrongdoings here.

Ed:
> Tried to charm you
> Swapped your mind with your Raven
> Tried to charm you
> Tried to send you to mars
> Put you in a coma

Tyrant:
>Put you in cage
>Silenced you
>Made you a bird girl

You're beginning to see this isn't nearly as straight forward a battle of good and evil as you once thought.
>>
>>45431073
>who can solve any problem with a flick of the wrist and a stupid phrase
>Less than 50 ends in a backfire
lol lol lol
>>
>>45436096
but that's what makes it FUN anon.
>>
>>45436095
Birdy: Walk away, this isn't worth the time or effort. There's beer waiting at the nearest bar/tavern. Go get wasted then pass out at home
>>
>>45436052
While the pretty bird girl contemplates things you decide to woo her using the only way you know how. VIOLENCE AND MAGIC.

maybe if you succeed you too could even hold hands.
>>
>>45436123
Be Poe.
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>45436123
Consume the smug anime girl into your dark abyss and seal it with powerful magic
>>
>>45436123
Summon a weeaboo from beyond the dark realms and sic it on the smug anime wizard. Keep it on a tight leash though, we don't want it to go after our birdy.
>>
>>45436148
Performing the ancient rites you open up a swirling vortex inside of your own body, that pulls in magical energies. The anime wizard girl is being pulled in, along with all of their precious magical energies.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>45436204
Seal the anime wizard girl within!
>>
>>45436148
Cast a spell to defend youself from the harmful effects and jump head first into the vortex and start messing her up from the inside.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>45436222
Come ON 35 OR HIGHER!
>>
>>45436211
>>45436228

You prepare a spell to try and pull the anime wizard into your vortex at least partially, and then they do the unexpected. They leap straight into your vortex. You seal it quickly.. though you think about it and you're pretty sure you were just supposed to extract the magic, you're not really sure what happens now.
>>
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>>45436228
>>
>>45436240
Ed magic lose
Success on 40

(Tyrant doesnt gain any because looking back there was an error where ed gained and she lost nothing, so this is back to before that now...)
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>45436240
So where is Ed now? Dead? A vortex? Inside the body of the Tyrant?

While I'm waiting for an answer on that. Tyrant: return to fleshy body.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>45436240
Drain all the magic power from your realm, including any residual energies within. You can always get more magic demon workers later.
>>
>>45436276
The Tyrant restores herself to her former glory. She needs to look her best for her Birdy.

Tyrant asks Birdy if she's decided which side she's on yet, because honestly if she preferred Ed then she should have said something before he got himself killed.

Ed lose, Tyrant gain as Edd circles the vortex inside the Tyrant slowly losing hope.

Ed: 45
Tyrant: 30
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>45436300
Tyrant: fix up hair and attempt to swoon Birdy with natural looks
>rolling for seduction
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>45436300
Edd: create something that can expand faster than Tyrant can consume. Expand her from the inside.
>>
>>45436327
Are you gonna me me look up inflation art? Please don't

Tyrant rubs a hand through her hair and approaches Birdy. She tries to remember how humans initiate romantic relationships, then she hits Birdy with her best line. "Are you an angel... because those have wings and so do you." The Tyrant is extremely proud of herself.

Birdy is actually charmed, not by the line, but the confidence and quirkiness of the Baroness of the Cold Void.

They smile and blush. The Tyrant goes to say something and then clutches her chest, which is much larger than it was a few seconds ago.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>45436377
>realize what the cringey bitch is doing in your abyss and use a silence spell to continue consuming the abyss without problems
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>45436377
Chest burst out of Tyrant like in aliens.
>>
>>45436420
As you rapidly gain wait you're quick with a counter spell. You let out a sigh of relief, that could have been really embarrassing for you in front of Birdy.

>>45436420
You go to say something again but then suddenly you feel like someone just punched you really hard in the stomach. It didn't like... do anything special, it just really hurt.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>45436442
Attempt to ask birdy out for a date
she's got the looks
she's got the body
and she has hands that you wanna hold
>>
>>45436442
Ed's magic is rapidly withering away. He can feel himself and Momerpresso Malamatartarei rapidly becoming undone in the vortex.

Ed: 50
Tyrant :25
>>
>>45436463
Ultimate desperation move.
Attempt to bond life forces with Tyrant. Don't take over, just be absorbed into her, live on through her, and guide her in the ways of love.
>>
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>>45436463
>Team Tyrant
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>45436479
Roll time.
>>
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>>45436479
>>45436494

Uhhh... ya so whatever that was fails.

The Tyrant fully consumes the res of Edwards magic. No longer magical she is shot from the void and onto the lawn next to Birdy.
>>
>>45436514
Ed reaches up for his loved one Momerpresso Malamatartarei, their life force slipping away again. God herself reaches down to collect the lost soul.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>45436524
Tyrant: take pity on Ed, deny God and allow love pure love to triumph over death. If magic isn't for love, what is it for?
>>
>>45436538
You see the Anime Wizard's desperate struggle to regain it's better half and are moved by this display. You allow your heart to grow three sizes this day and with your dominance over this reality force the life force of the two lovers together once again.
>>
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>>45436565
God, however, cheated twice in one day is not very happy about this. She descends from the heavens in all her glory ready to face the Tyrant in battle.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>45436565
Magically switch places with the tyrant and take her body while bringing along Momerpresso Malamatartareis soul with you.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

Birdy: Take pity on the wizard, also because we may need to help the tyrant fight god.

Give Ed new magic powers
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>45436594
> No magic, dear anon
>>45436585
>CAST SILENCE ON GOD AND BEGIN THE STEAL
>>
File: punch..png (1.62 MB, 1600x1000)
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Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>45436585
The tyrant showed Ed mercy, so she knew they needed to repay the favor. She reaches into her bag and throws a scroll to the Tyrant. Barderella Darkstorm, Baroness of the Cold Void reads it over and smiles.smugly.

>>45431670
Righteous Fist of Vishnu the Destroyer.

TIER 4.
>>
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>>45436642
However even with your immense magical powers you wind up just punching yourself really hard in the face.
>>
>>45436652
God laughs at how pathetic you are before casting a spell of her own. but what will it be?
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>45436665
God turns the Baroness into a field mouse, bird seed, worm of anything else Birdy or Poe might be compelled to eat.
>>
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>>45436686
Tough break for the Baroness. One minute, youre gonna hold hands with girl of your dreams and kill god.

The next, god gives you a glare so powerful, you shrink into a pathetic little mouse and your would-be girlfriend is trying to eat you.

The next, you're
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>45436715
Worker Beast, defend your master by suddenly realizing you're a wizard.
>>
>>45436736
You are now Erderasjljlers. You have just witnessed what is probably the biggest clusterfuck in all of human history. You've been turned into an anime girl, you saw some other people got turned into things. There was some black whole business, then your boss got fat. Then she like, ate a dudes powers but was uncharacteristically nice to him. It's been a confusing ride to say the least, but you think you've discovered a newfound respect for your boss. Also magic powers.

You dive in between the Baroness and her bird friend, shielding your mistress with our body. You attempt to formulate a spell and to change your mistress back, and surprisingly... it actually works.

The Baroness stands strong again. She gives Erderasjljlers a pat on the head.

She walks back towards god. It's time to end this.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>45436804
FINAL ROLL TIME
>>
>>45436813
Yay
>>
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>>45436813
The Baroness summons her sword. In a flash she teleports behind God and whispers in her ear.

"Nothing Personell Kid."

The Baroness proceeds to impale God through the heart with a katana, teleport the two of them into space, spin God around and throw her into the sun.

Not being one to take chances, the Baroness uses this time to prepare the ultimate technique.

Righteous Fist of Vishnu the Destroyer.

TIER 5.

God emerges from the sun just in time to be hit dead on with the full force of this ultimate attack, sending God into the core of the sun and then destroying it in an immense display of power never witnessed before. The explosion consumed most of the solar system.
>>
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>>45436862
Normally destroying the solar system along with all your new friends would be a bad thing. But you're God now. All of time and space, all of creation is layed out before you. No spells, no words or incantations, you just will the universe back together.

You look around at all the cosmos and everything that ever was and ever could be and you turn it down. This isn't what you want. This isn't who you want to be.

You release the omnipotent powers of God and return to earth as the most powerful wizard who ever lived. There's something more important than Godhood in the end. There's someone who's hand needs holding.

Happy Valentine's Day /tg/
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

Nice. I cast 'Thanks QM'.
>>
So I'm.just gonna assume this was a one off quest? You don't have plans to somehow continue this?

It's less about the characters or story, I just kinda enjoyed the ridiculousness and simplicity of your 50% to do anything at all system.
>>
Might as well archive it.
>>
>>45437738
Hey I'm alive. Hungover but alive.
I actually have never QMed or anything before and have no idea how to archive the thread.
>>
>>45438366
Someone else did it for you man. No worries.



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