Rolled 6 (1d10)My fellow fa/tg/uys! It is time that we came together, and made the perfect sword! I shall roll a number, all posts ending in that number are true facts about the sword. Read. Set. Go!
>>45101123The sword can never be sheathed, its powerful enchantments destroying all bindings. You have to carry it by hand wherever you go.
Shit's sharp, yo.
The sword cannot ever be dropped.
The sword banged OP's mom.
>>45101123The sword is crafted from the jawbone of an extradimensional horror infused with the blood of the first God, giving it an unnatural keenness each time it kills something
The sword is too heavy to lift by any but its true wielder.
It smells like a bakery.
The sword is actually small, meant to be held by a 1-inch-scale miniature.
The sword smells like ass.
The sword deals bludgeoning damage.
>>45101123The sword is a completely normal sword made from common steel
No dice so far. I'll give it a shot thoughThe sword has a long history of being used to kill political officials.
It glows with an inner light.
The sword only cuts if you shout out anime-esque moves when you strike with it. Otherwise it bounces off harmlessly.
The sword prevents the wielder from being able to tell right from wrong.
>>45101123It's made of starmetal, which is pretty nifty I guess.
>>45101336The grandiosity of what you shout acts as a multiplier for the sword's power.
>>45101336Great start guys
>>45101336The more inane the thing you shot the more effective it is. If people actually understand what you are saying it doesn't work particularly well.
>>45101336The sword can also be folded, up to one million times, to fit into the smallest of spaces.
>>45101336The blade cannot be wielded by anybody whose hair is a natural color.
The sword can cut through any material, provided that material is wood.
>>45101123The sword is engraved with dicks and known as The Sword of Wang. Because the blacksmith that forged it was named Wang, of course.
The Sword is very bright, and can be used as a torch.
>>45101406The sword is normally a katana, but as you use it with more ridiculous moves, it becomes more absurdly intricate. It is most powerful in its Pizza Cutter form.
>>45101406So, scream incoherently when you attack, and you do more damage.Not bad.
>>45101432The sword if very dark to embody the darkness within the soul of the one wielding it.
>>45101406In fact, if you speak eloquently while attacking, the sword will heal whomever it strikes.
The wielder of this sword is constantly aroused so long as it is unsheathed.
The sword is 17 miles long.
The sword is only ever as long as its wielder's penis.
>>45101455Fuck you and your shitty pizza cutter sword
When doing poorly in a fight the sword shouts into your soul, "git gud faggot"
If the blade is destroyed by any means, an explosion occurs that kills everything in a 10 mile radius.
The sword takes the shape of what ever best fits the user.
>>45101336>>45101406I'm surprised, because I could live with this so far. I thought it would be a lot worse.
The sword can kill any unimportant character in a single slash, enabling it to slice through legions of mooks.
The sword is made of lead.
Wounds made by the sword bleed spaghetti.
The sword went to Harvard and has an MBA and a S.J.D.
The sword always eats all your lunch/snacks when no one is looking.
The sword hates Elven Wizards.
If you give a heartfelt speech about the power of friendship, or about how DARK your soul is, your next swing will always strike true.
There's a 50% chance that swinging the sword will destroy the sword.
>>45101406The sword causes blood to burst from wherever it strikes and enemy, but the blood is drawn from another plane, and the enemy can often survive, and fight on stronger than previously.
The sword was forged by a giant.The giant killed themselves after realizing what they had forged.
The sword is a master chef and can guide the wielder through all the steps required to prepare incredible meals.
While wielding it you are a hermaphrodite.
>>45101666What do I win, satan senpai?
When you unsheathe the sword, a lucha mask instantly appears on your head.A cape too, but only if you want it.
>>45101626>>45101666Oh for fucks sake
>>45101336>>45101406>>45101616>>45101626>>45101666The sword compels its wielder to seek out and destroy all things elven.
If the sword's wielder is on the verge of death, remembering what you are fighting for will temporarily improve your stats by tenfold.
The sword is voiced by Rucks.
>>45101666God damn it Satan.The sword grants the wielder the power to control ambient blood in the environment, becoming more powerful the more blood there is.
>>45101406The wielder of the sword is irresistible to women and they want to bone him. However, the wielder is also cursed with shoen-esque density and doesn't bang them.
>>45101706The Anime Sword of Elven Hate GG
The sword makes the sound of a vuvuzela when swung.
>>45101706For every ten elves you slay with the sword you are granted one wish, but it has to in some way involve killing elves.
The Sword is actually a convincingly painted Morningstar that appears to be a longsword when held backwards.
The sword grows in length during monologue; the more ridiculous, the longer the sword.>>45101666This was planned. It had to have been.
>>45101740Sounds pretty /tg/ to me
>>45101706Well, not terrible if you want to kill elves.The blood sprays at very high pressure, so is pretty damn dangerous to everyone in the vicinity
The sword was used to murder an Elven god at one point.
The Sword is inhabited by the soul of a young girl whose village was massacred by haughty elves.
>>45101756When all elves have been killed, the sword will create more, so that you can slay them.
>>45101784The sword will be used to murder an elven god at some point.
All of the powers only work if the wielder has a full blown erection
The skimpier the wielder's clothing, the more powerful the blade becomes.
>>45101806RUINEDThe sword is an elf.
>>45101766>elf hate memeOh, fuck off. You guys are so fucking lame.
>>45101806If you don't have an erection the sword has a completely different power set.
>>45101806Fight elves, scream incomprehensible shit, get boner.Sounds like a fun time.The sword talks in Japanese. It only knows the word Desu.
The sword is sentient (Neutral Good, Int 12, Wis 15, Cha 14). It can communicate with its wielder telepathically and knows the common tongue otherwise. Its voice is kind and feminine, kind and compassionate to those in need, but fierce and destructive to its enemies.Come on RNG, let this become waifublade.
>>45101806If the wielder doesn't have a penis, they grow one until they sheathe the blade.
The sword transforms into a humanoid when not in use, it will look and act like the being you desire most. It's name is Wie foo. Satan be on my side once more.
>>45101846Ha. Rerolling for >>45101780
>>45101806The sword encourages having a hard-on for elf murder.>>45101836kekI think the sword may be an elfaboo in denial.
>>45101336>>45101406>>45101616>>45101626>>45101666>>45101706>>45101756>>45101806>>45101836The sword's size is always shifting, making its length impossible to accurately measure.
>>45101845Ya know something, anonI like elves.I play as an elf.But I'm still having fun. Join us.
>>45101123>only cuts if you shout out anime-esque moves when you strike with it. Otherwise it bounces off harmlessly.>The more inane the thing you shout the more effective it is>If you give a heartfelt speech about the power of friendship, or about how DARK your soul is, your next swing will always strike true.>The sword causes blood to burst from wherever it strikes and enemy, but the blood is drawn from another plane, and the enemy can often survive, and fight on stronger than previously.>hates Elven Wizards.>The sword compels its wielder to seek out and destroy all things elven.>For every ten elves you slay with the sword you are granted one wish, but it has to in some way involve killing elves.>All of the powers only work if the wielder has a full blown erectionSo it makes you shout anime garbage while spraying blood everywhere and literally having a hateboner for elves. That's surprisingly /tg/
>>45101806The erection has to be exposed.
>>45101846Sword is now gay.Sword refuses to cut guys with high charisma.
Well, it didn't take very long for this thread to become utterly retarded and unfunny as fuck. Good job, all.
>>45101806>>45101876Even if you have erectile disinfection so long as you have a boner for killing elves in your heart, it counts.
The sword has no powers beyond the ones listed above.
>>45101906>>45101846Double approved, but let's be honest, the sword was gay all along
>>45101898Will also GIVE you the capacity for said boner >>45101876 if you lack the equipment, which is pretty thoughtful.The blood spray works on the ground as well
Sword vanishes into nonexistence. There is no way to retrieve it.
It can glow in the dark on it's welder's command
The sword's powers can be changed around, provided you spend a wish from killing ten elves on it.
If the sword is ever wielded by an elf, it will turn to dust, though the elf dies in the process.
If an elf picks up the sword, they will burst into flames.
Rolled 1 (1d6)The sword also has all of the powers with this number.
The sentence below is false. The sword is not actually a sword. The sentence above is true.
>>45101980>>45101974>>45101973RE ROLLING FOR ALL OF THESETHIS SHITS GOOD
When wielded against heretics the blade's power set changes.
If the user dies while wielding it, they will come back to life at full strength, and gain a level
The sword is currently in the possession of Drizz't, the only elf that the blade tolerates.
the hilt is a pickle
The sword handle is a dragon dildo
So, at this point, we are basically condemning whoever uses this to be either a male or futa Ryuko Matoi with an elf hateboner.The sword breaks on impact with any object.
The sword is just a long double-ended dildo.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>45101998This, but with the correct dice.
When the wielder slays anything but an elf they lose inches but when they kill one they gain three
The sword is easily confused, when confused it gives the wielder the option to change how it functions.
Anyone who wields the blade immediately learns the full rules of FATAL by heart.
>>45101123If used as a dildo, the sword can bring mind breaking physical pleasure to any member of either sex it is used upon, even deities. The effect is magnified by ten if inserted via the urethra.
>>45101123The sword's previous owner was an (insert archetypical being of the opposite alignment from whoever finds it. i.e. an Angel/Devil/Demon/etc. if you don't do alignments, just apply whichever would work best if you did).Said guy wants it back. Bad, and will send minion creatures to go look for it within +-2 CR of party level.The more of these minions you fuck up, the stronger the sword gets (at a DM dictated pace) until it unlocks its full potential when said previous owner comes knocking down villages to claim it back at near end-game.
The sword has a DARK and EDGY rival, which is secretly its long-lost sibling. Or childhood friend.
Wielders of the sword gain rape strength.
The sword's name is Matt Ward.
These are all its abilities, it will gain no more from following g posts
The sword was forged by a beardless dwarf named Brock Chodestrong.
>>45102104Don't be That GuyDon't bring in Magic Realm.
>>45102105Damn. One off. Re-Roll?
Every time the user sheathes or unsheathes the blade, it ejaculates into the sheathe
>>45102106The sword's dark and edgy rival is just misunderstood and desperately needs a hug.
The sword's name is not important. What is important is what it's going to do.
The Blade has an evil twin that loves elves and hates penises
The sword turns to dust when exposed to air.
>>45102106The /a/ is strong today.
>>45102146Thread over.Thanks ass hole
>>45102146It's usually kept oiled to prevent this.
>>45102146It's over guys.We're done.Unless...>blood laminates the sword against the elements
>>45102106There we go, we just made this shit Kill la Kill. Go home /tg/Sword is lost in time, only to be found when the True Hero requires its potent elf slaying capabilities.
>>45102146It turns into a fine dust that kills any elf that inhales it.
>>45102156The only oil that works must be carefully crafted from the blood of elves.
>>45102156NOI SEE THE TRUTH
>>45102156Oil doesn't work. Nothing works.
>>45102146I the sword has turned to dust any who breath this dust shall learn how to forge it anew.
>>45102156AND WE ARE RIGHT BACK
>>45102156IT AIN'T OVER YETThe oil is elf semen.
While the sword is excellent at killing elves, elves are excellent at killing it.>>45102168gotem
The Sword has 37 levels of Bard and max ranks in "Perform: Interpretive Dance", and always rolls max.The Sword has a +100 unspecified bonus on "Perform: Interpretive Dance" checks. The Sword can also levitate and move on it's own in order to be able to do so. To wield the sword you must be able to beat it at it's own game by rolling higher than it on a "Perform: Interpretive Dance" check. Otherwise it Interpretively Dances and conveys a message of mockery towards you.
>>45102146>>45102156>>45102166AmazingThe sword we described is actually the dark and edgy rival sword.The real sword is just a normal sword, the power was inside you all along.
Where do the retards come from?
>>45101756Retcon.For every 6 elves you kill, but they can't be half-elves. They have to be full blooded tree hugging hippie elves.
When the sword is found, it has a note with it, the note reads all the possible things the sword can do (anything that rolled a 6 in this thread)The user must pick 3 things off this list, and can change the swords 'powers' at any time.
>>45102156The sword is self oiling, and requires minimal maintenance.
>>45102213Your gene pool.
The sword CAN melt steel beams.
>>45102196The sword is destroyed forever if ever struck perfectly orthogonal to the grain of the metal by a stick of iron wood hand-carved by lesbian elves.
>>45102235>Not even Elfbane, destroyer of trees can melt steel beams.
The sword looks like a large phallic object made for insertions into dark places.
When the blade is turned to dust, it will come back EVEN MORE POWERFUL if the dust is mixed with the wielder's blood.+1 Edge for each pint.
>>45102246This act also explodes the heads of every elf.They are unaware of this.
>>45102246The sword has no grain to it, and is made of a perfectly homologous material.
>>45102205The Sword also has 3 levels of Barbarian, so that if you beat it, it flies into a Rage and slays the nearest Elf.
Every elf in a 100 mile radius of the Sword will hear an ominous low hum.Their parents told them legends of this terrible sword. They thought it was only a myth.But it isn't.It is coming.And they are doomed.
The wielder speaks with the voice of Gilbert Gottfried while the blade is unsheathed.
The sword cannot be used to engrave Elbereth and trying to do so will eventually destroy it.
>>45102213/a/ came to visit today, apparently.
The sword is actually nothing but a nightmare of a lesbian elf wizard.
The sword doesn't particularly like kitsunes.
>>45102335The sword is unreasonably fond of dragons.
>>45102156The oil is actually lube.
If the wielder cuts off their penis and inserts the sword into the wound, they gain to power to do really sick loop-de-loops.
This sword get no more powers
>>45102357If the wielder cuts off their penis with the sword it will lose all hope and commit suicide.
>>45102331/a/ isn't that bad.It's the /d/ and HFY idiots that need to learn that repeating dumb shit isn't the same as being funny.
>>45102357If the wielder cuts off their penis, and inserts the sword into the wound, it bonds to them, and they are forever after considered PROUDLY ERECT
>>45102376Despite this, legends about the sword describe several powers that the sword does not actually possess.
>>45102376Until Tuesday, that is.
The sword is forgotten and vanishes, never to be spoken of again.
The shit that happened with this sword is why these threads need veto rules, and not particularly hard one to meet the requirements for.
>>45102413>>45102411It had to end some day.Since I samefagged half the powers, give me a minute to tally up all the ones I did.
The sword contains the spirit of THAT GUY. It whispers endlessly to you IN YOUR MIND of his perfect magical realm. If you are THAT GUY, the sword spirit becomes your most hated tripfag. Rumor has it this compels the user to to resist the urge to kill themselves.
>>45102436thread over friend, no more powers.
>>45102376This was me, I was also the one who posted the blood spray power. I needed it to end before everyone who wielded it turned into cat girl futa lol tentacle monsters
>>45102462The sword has no powers The sword isn't realNeither am IFuck off
>>45102476It was to late anonIt was always to late
The sword is actually made out of an Elven Prince.A wizard, once cast a Flesh to Metal spell caster level 420 on an Elven Prince, and then using his magic as a blowtorch, carefully carved the sword out of the prince's chest, turning the rest of the metal into bed pans that he enchanted to instantly transport anything inside them, to the home of said elven prince, handing these out for free, like a good Samaritan.The elven prince, is still concious and aware of everything that happens to any part of him.
>>45102476The very first 6 was already pretty terrible, I was actually thrilled when my inane shout one got in because I felt like I kind of pushed it in a better direction.
>>45102476I posted the ones about skimpy clothes, heartfelt speeches, the rival, and >oiling the blade.also the dick growing power
>>45102156THERE ARE NO BRAKES
If you a trained to wield a sword the sword becomes a spear
>>45101336>>45101406>>45101626>>45101616>>45101666>>45101706>>45101756>>45101806>>45101836>>45101906>>45101876>>45102106>>45102146>>45102156>>45102166>>45102196>>45102246>>45102376>>45102396END OF RINERINE END HERE
>>45102476It needed to end long before that.Here's hoping this post goes through, and the sword was always nothing more than a fever dream of a madman.
The Sword never existed.
>>45102804The sword was in the wielder all along
>>45102804>>45102850The sword is nothing but a filthy degenerate whore!
>>45102356FOR FUCKS SAKE
After wielding the sword for too long, your mind gets sucked into the sword. You must pass on the sword to another person, and when you do, you take over their body, and their soul gets sucked into the sword.
>>45102598Oh man, hell of a rideMight put this in my settings as the sword of Tee Ghe
Ah yes, The Chu2 sword of Brutal Elf Murdering
the sword's rigidity is dependent on the erection of its wielder, as such it will be known as excalliboner
>>45101336Unrimititu buredo wokusu
>>45101123It's death from the beginning to the end of time