Welcome rudebois and rudegyals to the latest edition of Star Wars A New Quest,Last time on STANQ; lose at space chess, gain a shiv, peter deals with princess, read his book while working out, learn where all the bird shit goes aswell as harpie engagements, slight lewd ya harpies, meet human supremacists and after internal debate leave them alone, learn mo' shit, agree to some things, do some things, meet ratboy geniuses family, get in a fuck off, which you win, fight a demon girl and escape unscathed, send a message, thread ends, discuss possible timeskips and prison escapes.And that's where we left off.-You wake up in bed nursing a slight headache, everyone else in the courtyard already evidently.You see Esteban round the corner to the courtyard as you sit up, so at least you aren't late or anything.You get dressed, pocket your shank into your waistband, grab your shit, and yawn.>what do today?->To follow or talk with a Real G or give a recommendation or ask something, Twitter: @WynautQM>Archive: suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Star%20Wars%20Murderhobo%20Edition%20Quest
>>44919387Make ourselves Don of the humans.
You head to the courtyard and find the human supremacist group."Hey Kyran, hope you're feeling better than earlier, you were acting really wei-""I want to be the don of this group.""...""...""Kyran... You maybe humanoid, but, not only have you done nothnig for us, but I can see the mando in you.""What""Yeah, a member with that you could be yeah since you're human enough, but the don, no. Not pure enough">what do
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>44919625Okay how out this then. I beat everyone one of you till your on deaths door. After you get outta the hospital I do it again. Repeat ad nausea. Then you make me Don. Or we skip that entirely unhealthy part and be friends yeah?Roll for intimidate.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>44919644woops
expectedly disappointing rolls
"Okay how out this then. I beat everyone one of you till your on deaths door. After you get outta the hospital I do it again. Repeat ad nausea. Then you make me Don. Or we skip that entirely unhealthy part and be friends yeah?"You hit an intimidating pose"How about fuck off K? You're being unnecessarily assholey here"You hit a seductive pose"Well how abou-""We're going, come back when you're feeling not so weird, faggoty, and aggressive. Bye K"and with that they start leaving>what do now
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>44919855call mom
>>44919855Ask the warden if we can use the holonet? To capture more escapees if that'll let us do that. Of course there'd be a guard to monitor the call.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>44919917develop rabies
>>44919983You feel the answer would be no>>44920044Are you saying lewd a wolf girl or are you just dicking about?
>>44919855Go see if library is open?
You let them walk away.You'd go ask the warden about the holonet, but you saw something in his offices about no access to that kinda thing ever.You head out of the courtyard towards to the library, and thankfully it's open.You look around.There's a whispering coming from one corner, the librarians in, and they've finally got some new books in.>what do
>>44920243Go check out a mental health book. Then read the fuck outta it.
shit i forgot about questaren't i a great qmwriting
You go find a mental health self help book, and sit down to start reading the fuck out of it.It's safe to say that this is uncharted territory, though it does say making peace with yourself is the best thing todo in times of uncertainty before moving forward.Maybe that'll help.You read a few more , then a few more, then a few more.You've probably pissed off the librarian with how many books you've pulled out now.At the end you've found out nothing new, since the only thing similar to your thing wasn't actual people.You put all the books back, not sure if they're in the right places and sigh.>What do now
>>44920729Go get swole.
You head to your normal spot on the courtyard and start working out, Slam once again providing a Solo while Eaturn watches from a distance scornfully.You make light chat with Slam and Esteban as you pump iron and squat and everything else your routine entails."So where's your other harpy K?""Dunno""Whatever, anyway, I sent your message out""cool">what do now
>>44920969Continue getting swole wiith no force heal.
3 hours pass of getting even swoller, and aching afterwards due to no force heal being used.Shouldn't rely on powers to work out really.At the end though you're lying on your back on the cold astroturf just panting and looking up into the part of the sky not covered by the dome.You just lie back and think for a while until esteban kicks you."Lunch time puto"Ah, nice.You stand up and sluggishly walk to the cantina, arms bulging.You get your food and sit>Where, with who, and what do/say/act like
>>44921215Esteban and just eat we be hungry
You take your tray of food and park yourself next to Esteban, intent on just eating today without problems.The boss looks at you, and passes a note sneakily."Need to meet with Rat Queen, but she's ignoring me. score me a meeting and i'll owe you several"It seems he doesn't want to talk about this out loud.You throw your head back and catch a paper plane.Another note"this isn't over you know!"You don't know who this is from but okay, sure you think before you crumple it and fuck it in the bin across the room.You snack hungrily, getting seconds and thirds, and coming back with fourths, discover someone did something to your seat.You're not sure what, but it's definitely different, so you change seats to the one on the other side of esteban and eat normally.Well, lunch is over now, and people will start filing back to the courtyard or whatever in a minute or so.>what do now?
>>44921436Go set up a meeting between rat queen boss dude.
>>44921436>Do everything in your power to become even stronger
You head to the rat queen and meet her"Kyran, what can i do for you, apart from a shower, honestly, please don't come around here smelling like excercise again, makes me sick""Sorry, anyway, i'm here on behalf of big guy, he wants to meet with you""Aha, does he now? Tell him tomorrow after lunch then.""Will do""Also, a strapping lad like yourself should head to the sports area more often""Sports area?"She gestures to a window in her tower which out of you can see a track and field area."You didn't know? You're welcome. Now shoo"You leave and head back to get more swole even more, esteban shaking his head when you head back to the weights.You have no harpy music this time, due to slam having spent over three hours today singing straight and Eaturn still blanking you for some reason.You put your all into this workout, straining, grunting, shouting, force healing, just doing your best possible workout, and after an hour you're done again, leaning back on the cold ground fucking water into your own face.>what do now?
>>44921714Also go tell dude boss about the meet up. Or better yet send Esteban.
>>44921680Get swoller in the shower.Use the force as dumbells.
>>44921215What are you talking about, Force Heal would be THE thing for working out.
We should focus on hooking up with some Mandolorians, all the other groups are pretty lame.
You need to shower, you're fucking so musky right now.you head to the shower stopping Esteban on the wayYou open your mouth and remember the boss was really secretive about this, so, careful wording."Tell the boss I said tomorrow at lunch""What?""just tell him""Sure"You get in the shower and work out even in there, getting swole and clean at the same time, stealing a thing of someone's clean clothes. swapping the items in them round, and heading back out.>what do now? literally, the galaxy is your oyster, dream big, but not too big, you're in jail>>44921866Every workout cheat has a negative to it, even if it's not apparent, instant, or that bad.>>44921953There's one mando in this prison, but they're a duchess satine kind of mando.
>>44921998>There's one mando in this prison, but they're a duchess satine kind of mando.Any mando is cooler than the others in here.
>>44921998Go make sure the message was sent. Then go hit on that Mando.
>>44921998>Use the force to detect hot singles in your area.
>>44921998>Go find the "Eaturn" harpy.
You go the the trash compactor and see it's been recently used, so Esteban shouldn't have lied about the message being sent off.You ask him anway and he confirms it, and also tells you "No kyran, shivball isn't a thing"You use the force to detect hot singles in your area, and discover hundreds, so instead go find your Eaturn.You find her looking at you from a corner and confront her."what's with you eaturn" you say in harpy speak.She just keeps looking at the ground, huffing and grumpy faced.>what do?>>44922022if you say so bruv
>>44922209Are harpy girls into vomit?
>>44922209Uh, we're going to need to filter then.>Use the force to detect hot singles in your area. Filter to the top 3, by closeness to Jessica Rabbit's figure.
>>44922260Well, I figure it's the bird equivalent of breast feeding.
>>44922209>Whistle a song at her
>>44922283i guessed so>>44922276not here>>44922264not good enough to do that, limiter game too strong---You start whistling a song at her, and eventually she joins in, dejectedly mimicking the tune and pace you're setting, eventually getting cheerier and chirpier and improvising more throughout.Eventually by the end of the song she's bobbing about and smiling, but when she sees you doing the same, she remembers she's ignoring you right now.She looks back down, though you can feel she wants to stop doing this, and you can feel her gaze on your pocket.>what do now?
>>44922480>Ask her if she has any steroids
>>44922480>See something you like?
"See something you like?""...*mumble*""Speak up then""...nut""You want the nut do you?""...yes""Why?""...""Come on, why, or no nut""B-because it makes eaturn eaturn instead of not""Really now?""Y-you already touch eaturn, eaturn not being eaturn, bad thing, want to be eaturn to your eaturn, so eaturn belongs to eaturn and no one else">what do>>44922509she doesn't have anyshe doesn't know what they arethat word won't even translate across
>>44922709>So if I call you Eaturn, how 'bout you call me "Darling" or "Honey" or "Captain Coldsteel" in return?
>>44922750>ColdsteelIs that our would-be Darth title?
>>44922750why captain cold steel
>>44922709just give her the nut.
>>44922794Well, I was thinking Admiral Awesome, but we'd need to have more than one ship for that. Even calling ourselves Captain is a stretch right now.
>>44922794Just insert something ridiculous there you're comfortable with I dunno.
>>44922709Can we get her to call us daddy?
>>44922826Why cold steel then out of every thing beginning with C?>>44922910nah there's no fun if i do shit for you guys, this ain't my quest.>>44922934I-if you want.
>>44922709we need to find blond bitch guard and use the words after seeing if they still work
>>44922988Nah, she's unaware of how powerful that ability can be. That's a trump card.
>>44922982>Why cold steel then out of every thing beginning with C?Because our dad's name is Steeldick, and we dislike our dad. Nothing personnel.
>>44922709>Ask if she menstruates. If yes, how does it feel?
>>44922982>I-if you want.shia_labeouf-motivational.webm
>>44923068It's called egg-laying.
The emperor told Darth Vader that he killed Padme, but then a couple of decades later his children are running around the galaxy stealing death star plansWhy didn't Darth Vader kill the emperor when he found out his children were running around?
>>44923068She doesn't.>>44923145yep>>44923165Probably the reason he was trying to recruit luke to rule with him, i.e, kill the emperor with him, because he couldn't do it alone.And he didn't tell him he killed his kids, just that he killed padmekeep your retardation to the general threads, thank you, come again.---You reach into your pocket and pull out the nut and hand it to her.She holds it tight for a while She breaks the nut, eating the edible part, and she puts the shell in her pocket, before jumping on you and vesting on you tighter than she has before."Us both being called eaturn is confusing, can i call you something else?""no""Why not?""...Being called eaturn makes me feel warm""Do you wanna call me something else then? like Darling or Honey or Captain Coldsteel?""i-i don't know what those are""How about daddy for now then?""...Okay... d-daddy" she mumbles into your shoulder.Okay then, 1 grumpy harpy dealt with.Got a couple of hours to kill before night night.>what do now?
>>44923165Because he had to perform in a competition with his replacements to keep his status as the Emperor's Fist. You can read all about this in the new Star Wars comics.
>>44923197find the humie supremisists defeat everyone become the don
>>44923197honestly darling or honey would be way better than daddy daddy is just more how you would call a pimp.
>>44923197>Formulate plans with the Princess, the Ogre roommate, Esteban, and Ratboy to take out the humans. If the humans won't accept us as their superior, then they may as well be food for the birds.
>>44923250How about Honeynut then? However, I got her to call us Daddy, so I see no reason why we should divert from that course.
>>44923281honeynut is actualy really adorable.
>>44923293Very well. I like it too.
Man, we need an astromech type companion, y'know, a droid that only speaks in bleeps and bwoops. I'm thinking one of those floating torture droids.
>>44923431nah man a floating video drone gotta post those sex tapes.
Fuck famalams, i'm drained as shit.gonna go to bed before i pass out onto my keyboard.will start next thread with honeynut dialoguelater m8rs
>>44923453What do you think the Torturer droids do with that lens?
>>44923469Honeynut on the streets, Daddy in the sheets
>>44923505Wait, which would be better for public use in prison?
>>44923526i doubt it'll matter nobody fucks with us anyways.
>>44923534Except for the pretty girls, am I right am I right
So these creatures are resistant to the Force, but getting shocked by lightning will fuck up their morale, right?
>>44923558you know i could be wrong about this but havent we been like really loyal to the wife to be up until now?
>>44923660Man, just forget about her.
>>44923653natural lightning and machine lightning still hurts em
>>44923684arent we already planning our escape?we've been in here for a month wy forget about her already thats like a really dick move to do.
>>44923716Well, forget about a future with her. She wants something she knows she'll never being able to have for herself, and it's not our burden to provide that for her. Besides, we have more fun without her on our mind.
>>44923746to be honest it would probably be possible because we can go about 2 weeks withoud feeding the D and it would probably be possible to just do it like 2 or 3 times a week.so it would be possible if we practiced some restraint.
>>44923837i said possible way to much here.
>>44923837Restraint is not our way.
>>44923860we have been doing a pretty good job of it.
>>44923917We had a chance to break things off at Coruscant, and accept her point of view. Instead, we gave her a cruel hope at what could be if we weren't us. We must learn to let go of our false promises and brooding thoughts.
>>44923949prison changes peopel man.
>>44924039Sometimes for the better. I hope you'll try to keep us off the path of ruin what with this attachment you hold tightly.
>>44924139well actually i just want to strap a big ass rocket to our back and fly off towards the stars but you know implications like death and all that.
>>44924139Yes and the direction most people have been going is for Al.
>>44924039A parallel I've come across in this Prison Arc is that we're always promising people what could be in the future and failing to deliver in the present. Like with our Force powers, they've made us overconfident and complacent enough to the point where we're like a little lamb with this collar on. It's the promise that any connection we have to the Force will be disastrous for our enemies, which is why we still have the collar on. To make crossing us disastrous without the collar is the trick. We need to invoke the emotion of fear in everyone here. After all, fun isn't fun without the element of risk, which is fear itself.
>>44924270so like how we've been stabbing the shit out of peopel and training all day long almost everyday and just in general being a scary fuck.
"Fuck famalams, i'm drained as shit.gonna go to bed before i pass out onto my keyboard.It will start next thread with honeynut dialoguelater m8rs "From Wynaut
>>44924323Yes, we've been doing so far. It's all this whipped talk that leads us astray.