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/tg/ - Traditional Games

File: Darth Ainsley.jpg (55 KB, 892x960)
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Rolled 35 (1d100)

Welcome rudebois and rudegyals to the latest edition of Star Wars A New Quest,

Last time on STANQ; Heading to work you notice you're being stalked and detect them on the way back so ditch them, disguise, and seduce them and make them your new PA as punishment for spying, more lewd, KJ thread 2's out as fuck when confronted with emotions, family dinner and movie night, more lewd, some character backstory, more lewd, make your new PA violet bond with the stone and teach survival class at your force academy, negotiate a deal with the jedi to see the former comatose receptionist and your son, Ranlis asks a favour to take on the traitor Wulf Irene and you glass and recruit the hairy space canadian angry manlet, put a hat on a space monkey, lewd, avoiding arrest after a supposed mutiny by the son of the Hutt reclaiming his supposed birthright, launching a rebellion to instate you as the rightful dictator and with some careful espionage, attacks, and plans, have garnered a large amount of civillian support, gained 4 more sabers in the process which if i'm not mistaken puts you at 23, 2 away from an unlockable , and had a really deep heart to heart with KJ ending in a bro hug.

And that's where we ended up.

>To follow or talk/ask, Twitter: @WynautQM
>Archive: suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Star%20Wars%20Murderhobo%20Edition%20Quest

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Your head doesn't feel too great.

You probably shouldn't have broken out the hard stuff since your senses, force and otherwise, get truly fucked up on hangovers.

Perhaps it's the force's way of getting you to achieve your destiny instead of being a piss-head, who knows, mysterious ways.

Either way, it was fine tonight since you're awaking where you remember passing out in the temple with that fancy fur coat you remember picking up at one point draped over you like a blanket.

>Your comm is beeping, there's voices in the room next to yours which isn't empty like the one you're in, you don't know where your friends are, there's a used condom on the end of your knobber, and some prick has put highlights in the front of your hair, the reapers are coming, and you have no idea where in the world carmen sandiego is.

>What's on the agenda glorious leader.
Obligatory "this is a sandbox quest so if you want to kill yourself or fly to a planet full of hooker droids, then vote for it, the galaxy's your oyster" and youngling bump post.
>get up
>assess our defenses and supplies
>check with the division leaders
>start organizing the taking of an important location, such as perhaps an hospital or a government facility which will help drive up our legitimacy and supplies
>see if the rebels need anything
seems good nuff
>that pic tho
You pull yourself off of the ground, making yourself look at least half decent, you mean, your covered up and any evidence of debauchery is hidden well, you go to look for the division leaders to check on the situation, and on the defenses.

You stumble around with a pounding head until you finally bump through a door into a room with 3 sevenths of the committee, KJ, Wulf, and Gareth.

You burp loudly to announce your presence, "Good Morning lads"

They eye you oddly, either because you're not as well looking as you thought or you've switched bodies with someone.

Maybe you did something gay last night, would explain the buttcheek pain.

KJ finally clears his throat, "Nice highlights Big K"

You snort, "Nice face nerd"

"Good to see you're feeling good, was the thing you pulled bad in bed or something?"

"I'm feeling horrible, fucking space whiskey, and what thi-"

"Enough" Interjects Gareth, "We have business to attend to. This is Al's job but since she and Vi are busy teaching, i'm handling defenses. We're keeping our ear to the ground mostly looking for turrets or ways to break the jammer, but personally have nothing. Heard Joe had some news for you but it is a 40 minute walk through underground tunnels and sewers since he's not at his shop, but an out of city rebel base"

Wulf yawns, "Just point me at something bubs, i'm getting bored with meetings and plannings, when really, it's the enemy who needs to be planning to be avoiding my meetings with them"

You laugh unconsciously "How long you been practicing that?"

he jsut grumbles

"Anyway", you resume "We need to take somewhere important to legitimize our operation, like a hospital or government facility"

KJ raises his hand


"We have a suitable hospital picked out, but it's heavily guarded to make sure no rebels are treated there, and taking it may show that we are just after civilian meatshields since they can't kill the younglings in our temple or patients with artillery and the like."

>what do
First vote is a 5 pronged vote, psh, starting out strong lads.
i've got literally all the star wars pages that make them shits liked
youngling pics are my weakness
How about hitting a military target then?
One of the nearby bases or spaceports?
See if there is any way to spin taking the hospital as us liberating civilian hostages.
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"How about hitting a military target then? One of the nearby bases or spaceports?"

"Unless we committed a large portion of our full force or had some droids or turrets, than maybe we could hold it or dissuade them from retaking, but now, it may seem like we're on equal footing with them, but honestly, if it wasn't you, i'd switch sides"


"A fairly unimportant spaceport may make them not take the risk in losing troops, honestly, they'll just mostly redirect traffic to a different spaceport."

"What about the military bases?"

"Your military is staying out of this. Instead of fully segmenting like the police force did, they went full neutral. Perhaps we could persuade enough to join us to turn the tide numbers wise, but turning too many, or too fast, or too obviously may make the military members start picking sides, and honestly, not a lot would pick your side, and the people here would have everything destroyed. The police who we're fighting along with Randall's mercs hold mostly police stations in civillian areas, there are a few we could mark for targets if that interests you"

"Back to the hospital, is there anyway we can spin it to make it look like taking the hospital is liberating civillian hostages?"

"Quite possibly, since they occupy it. we could even lie, people tend to believe the ;lucky rebels of the lovable former leader than the media of some guy who came in and force mutinied. It'll be easy enough to spin it, though we'd need ways to get the message out, comm shenanigans, attacking a police station, paying street rats to spread gossip routinely and shill us to the public. WE'd need to speak to the propaganda leader of the rebels first"

"The rebels have a propaganda leader?"

"Yes, your former propaganda minister"

"Good to know"

>what do now?

also, apologies we ain't done shit yet, but if you want to plan for summat, you'll need info rudeboi
I'm partial to starting to spread the liberation lie and take the hospital.

And we might have skme use for military droids, where would we go about acquriing spme or manufactring capabilities?

I swesr im not high again
Yeah so I'm thinking:
1. Work on making an underground info network, maybe set up our own Free Waggablagga (fuck the planet doesn't have a name I'll call it whatever I want!) Radio
2. See if we have anyone who's connected to the military that can help us turn a few of them to our side
3. Check the results for that talent-seeking thing we started earlier, did we find out any good mechanics or doctors, or anything really? See what kind of stuff we can put them up to
4. Ask our council about any important heads in the enemy faction so we can get Irene some work, anyone that would destabilize them? Anyone known for being cruel or generally disliked so we can spin it as "good guy rebels take out evil bad guy!"
Jesus this is harder than our usual routine.
"Tell me Gareth, military droids, where might we acquire them?"

"There's a small factory out of town for mining spider droids, very fast with armour capable of taking hits. It's too far from our own support networks to hold properly but far enough that the trek to retake it would be an issue, either meaning it being ignored, or when they realise we've put blasters on the droids, airstrike it from orbit. I recommend secret negotiations, but whatever you think is best sir."

"What about an underground info network?"

"The rebels have a deep and deeper all the time udnerstanding of the giant tunnels underneath the city and have runners by the dozen running around under there delivering all over the city. Joe himself also uses codewords for deliveries and meals to send anyone a hidden message under the food or on the receipt."

"What about radio?"

"They're working on setting up a pirate radio station called Free Waggablagga, weird, but still, they're having a little trouble scavving parts, not only to hide their signal, but to even have asignal since buying stuff leaves leads, trouble to the buyers and sellers. Could always help with that"

"Noted, what about the military?"

"You're blacklisted and they're monitored, but I still have contacts with a few old generals I could sneak messages to that owe me. Supplies, training, and more could be given with extreme caution"

"Alright, well, does anyone stand out?"

"We're all amazing, you made sure."


"Alright, your force sensitive famous bounty hunter police force spotted a unique individual. Kid from the rebels, barely fourteen, saw his vibro knife take four highly trained officers before being gunned down"


"He's recovering in the infirmary, could be good propaganda tool since he's a kid and all, either showing their brutality or your lethality"

"What about any heads of the space hydra? Who can I kill or send Wulf to kill?"


"A darth"

Wulf whistles

"Nice meeting you lads, i'm packing my bags, meet you in another lif-"

Gareth grabs his wrist

"This guys is the most brutal general i've seen, he's doing a lot to your fellow man"

"Fuck the fellow men"

"He's rich"


"What we pay you and what you loot togther are sufficient payment right?"

"To fight a darth?"

"One only a darth for his tactics and actions, not for combat skills, you can take him."

"By myself? maybe, if i'm lucky. With better pay and better drink like the good shit from yesterday, the chances of success increase."

You laugh "Glad you're staying, because the pay and the drink here flow like the women do!"

"Like that ting you had yesterday right?"

"What tin-"

Gareth interjects once more

"Enough. we're all busy men. spreading lies of the hospital so we can take it has been put down as a definite, what other attacks/actions/shit do you want to pencil down and give orders for people to do or do yourself, and for when?"

>what do for everything discussed and how much men to spare for each objective, and who in special cases, whether one of your committee or you, etc,

>then what do after meeting
We go with Wulf to take down the Darth, because why not. Put on a disguise while out?
Set a few of our men on scavenging hunts to get the parts needed for the radio, not many just enough.
If possible see if we can have anyone survey the droid factory, hopefully some local contact from the rebels so we don't need to spare many more men.
About the generals, just see if they have anything to better prepare our defenses like landmines and turrets, or anything that can strike non-orbital ships.
Oh and of course, the ones doing the scavenging should just be the ones already doing it, just add them into their list so it doesn't look like we're en-masse out there looking for something.
And damn me but I forgot to mention: set us up a meeting with that kid for later, we'll spin his story as their brutality. We want to be seen as the good guy underdog.
seconding the go kill darth deal, it's what we do best

the rest I don't really care aside from maybe seeing our current status on supplies? power food, parts and shit

do we have ledgers on that an all?
You have a lot of credits as future glorious leader, and the academy is self sustainable food and power wise.
but what about rebels are they hurting in any form of supplies?
"alright, get lists of the items needed and split up items between the partolmen and scavengers we already have up there, no need for new scavengers and a larger footprint when they'll help jsut fine"

"Very good sir"

"Also ask the generals for anything defensive wise, landmines, turrets, and anything to stop non orbital ships"

"Also very good, costly, especially since they'll be too paranoid to only give untraceables which cost extra"

"Send scouts to investiage the droid factory, neogtiate if possible and safem report back if not."

"Very good for the third time"

"Are the rebels good for supplies?"

"They're better since we liberated them some arms and armour and have started training, and we fund them and they help get funder money for us, but until you talk to Joe, we know not much else"


"Any more?"

"Send a runner to discuss turning that boy into a semi martyr as proof of brutality, while me and Wulf go take out that Darth"

Wolf tenses, "Now?"

>what do now?
>nah, next wednesday bruv
>nah 5 minutes ago
>yeah rite now
>few short things to take care of first (write in)
>few long things to take care of (write in)
>tomorrow, quite a lot of shit to do (write in)
>write in
>few short things to take care of first (write in)
Go to an abandoned liquor store and get this man a drink, then we can go on. See if he has any objections we can address and remind him we are tough motherfuckers.
We strike hard and fast, they won't be expecting anything again so soon.
Oh and does Gareth have the Darth's location? That'd help, any idea on what the place is like.
sorry about my grammar dying there
also no worries actual action soon if ya wants famalams.
also remember "timeskip" and "get off this rock" along with whatever else are always valid options.
Gareth's given you the location, but doesn't have details, it's the fourth floor on an abandoned office building in an abandoned district filled with the homeless and like 1 week long fighting refugees.
>yeah rite now
do we have any slug throwers?
>Wanting to give up instead of winning the war
It's personal! At least until we're sure there is no way to win.
>>yeah rite now
The hell you chicken? You talk all big and bad but give up when it's a decent fight?
trips of reason
Nah, you could buy one before attacking him though if ya want, trouble is where to find one.
just grab a couple grenades and a slingshot, what could go wrong?
or a railgun homemade
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"Yeah right now you pussyhole, you chicken turbo manlet?"

You can feel he wants to slash your throat, but the only thing stopping him is the memories of the glass in his head from last time. Good, you want him angry.

You get in your car and head to the abandoned district parking outside an abandoned liqour store.

It's looted, but an unopened safe in the back you coaxed open had some of the good shit which you take alight sip from and offer some to your homie who takes a significantly larger gulping

"So what's your damn problem anyway Wulf, what's with the cold feet?"

"Because as much as a love a good payment and a good drink, I enjoy the life which allows me to enjoy these."

"You've seen me and i've seen you, you can take him by yourself, and with me it's a piece of piss. Why the apprehension? Because it's a Darth?"

"No, because of the Darth's apprentice."

"Come again?"

"The darth might not be the most adept swordfighter, but he doesn't enjoy it, meaning everything is some calculated mess instead of a dance, and his force powers are off the chain, but his apprentice will surpass him."

"How do you know this?"

"A dream, haven't had one in a while, thought it was just a hangover dream or something but then he was brought up at the meeting. Funny, don't evne know his name but I know parts of his future and what his taunting face over my corpse would look like"

Hmm, well you plan to avoid that for a start. You check to make sure your mega shrapnel grenades and slingshot launcher for them are safely in your belt, before patting Wulf's shoulder and standing up.

The abandoned office is just across the road, and he's apparently fourth floor

>complete plan of what do?

>We strike hard and fast
you mean to shoot first?
It always works.
ask him if he can die fo just a lil bit and come back, afterall he has regen and all.

gotta get onto this really carefully, take out any possible backup they might get and then survey the insides of the place

odds that the apprentice really dislikes his current life?
"Hey Wolfy"

"Don't call me that"

"Can you come back from the dead?"



You decide the best thing to do from this point is to sneak onto the fifth floor and strike from above.

The building is entirely empty from the bottom up to the fifth floor, but you can feel people below you.

You position yourself above them.

Roll 1d100 along with any change of plans+specific airdrop tactics.

Middle/average of three rolls
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Rolled 40 (1d100)

Set if you can find a floor hole, drop a grenade or two.
If not, then make a hole using that good old cartoon routine where you cut a circle on it. Yell "SURPRISE MUTHAFUCKA" and have wulf take out the goons while we distract the bigshots.
Rolled 80 (1d100)

see if irene can drop on then from above while we acrobatics our way through the window firing the slingnades
nice censor bruvva, have a ghetto meme as a reply.
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Rolled 27 (1d100)

One more for best-of-three.
Have some Muh Phoenix.
Rolled 1 (1d5)

1: mean
2. median/middle
3. range
4. lowest
5. highest
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No, YOu'RE mean
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Well so much for using the right picture.
i did say middle roll
mean gave you a plus 9 to that
i'd say it's nice instead of mean
was wondering

You flash some sign language you partly remember at Wulf and it appears he's full operator right now

He's even smeared some ink from a broken pen nearby on his face as black camo lines, hardcore.

You carve a circle into the ground, and when ready push it through the ground to land on/near him.

Unfortunately, they were a little ready.

The Darth you assume already has a saber drawn and their apprentice, a hulking figure in full cortosis, no gaps anywhere, is sleeping.

Well, until your grenade goes off spraying everyone in it including you, the darth, Wulf, and the apprentice in tiny spikes.


Now it's a two V two.

And Wulf launches himself at the Darth's saber claws first.

Now it's a one V one.

And the apprentice launches themself at you fist first.

Holy fuck they're a biggun, thought sith were all meant to be rats.

>what do, both of ya
>with 2d100+10, first die is best of three, second die is middle of three
Rolled 13, 47 + 10 = 70 (2d100 + 10)

do like the new movies and make us hyped then flop terribly

or rather just strike him with the sith blade and try to use our agility to avoid this hothead big guy

who is the +10 for?
Rolled 65, 58 + 10 = 133 (2d100 + 10)

Try to find a way to use his momentum to throw him off so we can gang up on the Darth.
Say, get him to rush us, dodge, then force push him out?
If that fails dance around him a while and try to cut into the armor with something-non-lightsabery, if only to slow him down.
Keep the speed up, don't let him hit you cause that's gotta hurt.
>For Wulf:
Well he's a close ranged type, so he needs to avoid the master's force use and needs to keep the pressure, keep striking up close. If he can he (or us) might as well use the master against the apprentice by having the lured into striking each other!
Rolled 39, 73 + 10 = 122 (2d100 + 10)

May the force damn you

>absolutely... average
Well fuck me too.
Rolled 22, 36, 49, 17, 93, 1 = 218 (6d100)

still haven't seen the new movie
spoiled to fuck though

hey wynaut are all the grenades frags?

did we get too injured or what?

eh I liked it to be honest, I mean, it's not awful, it doesn't deserve all the money it's getting but it's entertaining enough.

at least it didn't have pod racing.
Are you using the same rules for our rolls for theirs?
>hey wynaut are all the grenades frags?
>did we get too injured or what?
yup my high friend, but veryone has a spike or two in a tendon

>at least it didn't have pod racing.
but that along with child anakin are the best parts of star wars blud, kmt

you+10 and wulf default = 75, 58
apprentice default and darth default = 93, 36 but one makes a critfail
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>that along with child anakin are the best parts of star wars blud
Jar Jar was pretty great too, everyone loves Jar Jar.
Rolled 94, 15, 95 - 5 = 199 (3d100 - 5)

You pull the shank in one hand a clear hand with the other

This isn't only cortosis, it looks super thick, and covers everywhere, so no saber until you know it won't just get in the way

You'd be dodging these punches a lot better but a spike in your knee crack is really fucking you up, you take a sec to pull it out but get knocked down when you do, and your arse lands on a spike, making your sore cheek even more sore.


You know what else is painful? That boot.


Bruised rib right there.

You keep distance and start making superficial wounds and breaking off cortosis, but you're really on the defensive, if not for Wulf surprising the Darth with his gloves sabers for an easy win coming to make a distraction, you wouldn't have stayed awake through that punch, though you think Wulf may need a new kidney.

There's a few gaps in the armour leading to a bodysuit and green skin underneath with light probed lacerations covering it in blood.

They raise their fists and prepare to advance.

>what do now nigga

Rolled 41 (1d100)

Force push snigga!
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Jar Jar was my favourite character ever
Meesa fuck your bitch and carve a J from the corner of your eye to the corner of your very baddenings mouth if you don't get mi my credits

favourite deleted scene that was.

94, 15, 95

Don't fret

depending on your actions, depends on which one or ones I pick.

also u may beat it, who knows?
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Rolled 38 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

Is it possible to force lightning him and heat up the armor? Also, Cortosis is brittle as fuck, maybe do like Sleepy said and force push him into some blunt object to make an opening for Wulf to cut.
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So how about a bribe in the form of a pic?
Rolled 55 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>deez rollertrons
gonna support force pushing, armkr breaking or heating and maybe we can jam a grenade on one of the armor holes then go for cover?
Let's pray that Irene rolls better kek
Rolled 2 (1d5)

...Seems possible?
I know absolutely fuck all bout star wars so maybe
depends how good the final roll is.
Nice pic.

improved modifier, decent pic.

Irene is kinda recovering right now
he took a mighty hit for ya


deciding enemy roll

1: mean
2. median/middle
3. range
4. lowest
5. highest
Rolled 68 (1d100)

Hahahah, so we have 60 vs. 89 cool
>don't know about star wars
"Cortosis ore was a very rare, brittle, fibrous material whose conductive properties caused lightsabers to temporarily short out upon contact. This effect made cortosis a useful material for anti-lightsaber melee weapons, though with repeated strikes, a lightsaber could still cut through it. Cortosis, due to its energy resistant properties, was also resistant to blaster fire. "
Conductive, brittle, etc
Rolling for no reason.
You stare them down, their helmet giving no tells.

You basically killing time till Irene's up, circling around each other.

They move, you dodge, you cut, you take a hit, you roll, you go for a punch purposefully bad and take a gut punch, while delivering one of your own, a grenade shoved into a pocket, before force pushing them flying backwards and diving behind a desk.

You peak your head over.

Apart from a porcupine angry looking Wulf, there's not much out there.

Nice job Big K, not so bad yourself Big K, why thank you Big K-

Well you destroyed the cortosis mostly, and part of the black bodysuit, giving way to the tightest abs you've ever seen, tensing as hard as you've ever seen a muscle tense, skin and flesh becoming temporarily hard enough to block dozens of pieces of shrapnel from scratching, let alone piercing.

And you throw a left hook towards the helmet knocking it off, and get bitten on the hand

Jesus fuck that jaw strength

You're in too much pain to do much else apart from scream, but you keep your senses enough to know that they have one arm on your one hand, one mouth on your one hand, you're split apart, and they have a free hand

The danger sense that spikes through you when you notice the arc of that arm heading towards your prized possession, you've never felt anything like it, you know that you're surviving this intact, because any scathing will be death,

You can do whatever you set you're ind to, you're Kyran motherfucking Ollis.

>what do
>all these actions will have differing DC's, so pick wisely
>you may pick multiple or a write in
>aim hips to dodge
>aim to hit your solid belt buckle above your crotch
>what's harder fist or dick, i.e, instant harden and thrust the fist at the right time
>bite their arm holding your free arm and use the new lack of grip on you to move
>force with a part of body not hands (write in)
>force with held hands (write in)
>talk, intimidate, reason, beg (write in)
>depend on Wulf
>write in
knew that
know enough to run a pseudo star wars quest
just didn't know conductive factors of cortosis
also Big K can't use force lightning anyway, he's tried, but tis never good results.

He's still not allowed to live down the last attempt.
Wait is he biting our hand?
Does that mean we can force push inside his mouth? BLOW OUR LOAD to distract him and increase our odds of dodging
>aim hips to dodge
Just jump up enough to straddle his arm and use the free hand to stab our new mount with the knife.
When we get freed, backstep and rush to give him a lightsaber induced gastric cleaning throug his abs
use force harden on dick and think of all the chicks we fucked having an orgy, then thrust

remember to pray to space ron jeremy
Biting down on the wrist, so you can blow face, but not in mouth.
space ron jeremy is ron jeremy, he transcends time and space, the greasy hedgehog fuck.

Oh yeah, also,

>Roll1d100, forgot
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>Ron Jeremy
You know what?
Why not.
Rolled 74 (1d100)

Rolled 59 (1d100)

i need an adult
Rolled 93 (1d100)

This does not bode well.
>i need an adult
are you okay man
did you drop your spliff and set your house alight or something?
looks like it bodes just fine
I aam careful with those things you know? only time I almost burned the house was burnin paper boats with alcohol
I AM an adult!
That's what she said. Turns out she was lying, and this is why I'm serving 20 in the statepen.
You have several things to do here

Attack, defend, dodge.

You can do this.

You shoot off a force push into her cheek, and although she keeps her teething your flesh, her other hand loses grip slightly, and you dodge the first nutshot between your knees, hitting a knee to her chin, which gives your wrist a lot of temporary pain, but her grip is now weaker.

The next hit though, not possible to dodge, positioning is too good.

So you pray.

To the god of cock in all space time, Space Ron Jeremy, you focus all your might, your hate, your lust, your balance, your fun, your survival, you channel it all into one boner to rull them all.

You swear you're like an extra 1/2 an inch longer than normal at least, exploding out of your zip and swinging into her oncoming knuckles, seeing the shockwave go through her wrist, dislocating it and shattering her knuckles, you quickly note the fear in her eyes and go for a jumping cockslap, which she front rolls away from, jumping up right into a superman punch from Irene knocking her senseless.

She goes for a swing, misses and gets spun, and kicked in the back toward you

So you hit a superman thrust, slam dunking her forehead into the ground, through four layers of floor onto the ground floor in a bloody, but still breathing mess.

You look at the exogorth.

You swear it's glowing right now.

Wulf just pats you on the back and takes the stairs down

>what do now

then why do you need an adult oniifam

if you were, you wouldn't be here tbf
If you know she's lying you can't use it as an excuse bro, psh, fucking newb.
Force Dick confirmed. Force jump down and interrogate, but not before making sure she is too fucked up to react at all. Would be a good time to give her some MDMA
>and remember to collect their lightsabers
thank you Ron Jeremy
acquire sabers for dem achievements and then go finish this fucker, unless she can somehow convince us not to? or we convince her not to be killed?
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You usually find out about these things once they come to tickle your rectum.
You hold your head.

You look up to see Irene on the ground, and the Darth jumping down the hole.

Ah, guess Wulf didn't finish him off, or jsut thought he did.

You drag yourself to the hole and see the Darth cradling his apprentice, and she then brains him with a piece of rubble without leaving her spread eagle recovery position, before your force hearing picks up "i'm the master now asshole"

Looks like this mission was unnecessary since he was going to die anyway.

You drag yourself into the hole and fall down 5 stories, sticking the landing next to her, her eyes barely following your movements up to her, clearly two steps from LaLa land.

You may have went too hard, that would've killed any ordinary bitch.

She doesn't have a lightsaber, but you shame filledly take his, putting you at 24 altogether

"....Warg...warn.... KO"




>what to do say do? with 1d100 if you'll please.
Not knowing everything including but not limited to her social security number, her first pets name, and how many follicles of hair are on her head before you smash

At least give a fake name like chad thundercock so bubba doesn't have to clear some space in in ya batty to help him get off and to help you smuggle in cigarettes.
do you like being a sith? she could be the colossus to our wulf irene! fastballspecial!
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Rolled 21 (1d100)

"What's your stack sis?"
As in what steroids she uses, or is that natty? No way it's natty.
Banter a bit and gauge her physical situation, wait up on wulf.

And gauge her loyalty llike anon said!
Rolled 24 (1d100)

Rolled 43 (1d100)

One more, this time with love.
>"What's your stack sis?"
>As in what steroids she uses, or is that natty? No way it's natty.
it's gamma rays
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>tfw no shulkie gf
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Oh and I think this is the guy on that gif after the event.
You look down at the once behemoth who towered over you, now lying bleeding on the ground at your feet, sent head first through five stories onto her back, chest heaving heavily with a constant survival rhythm.

"Do you like being a sith?"

"...fine and dandy... i'm the master now"

"You look the par-"

She spits blood, but most hits herself ineffectually, some hits your dick, some your face.

You should probs put your dick away.

"Well, what do you use to get so big anyway?"


"Well... Sometimes mistakes are miracles eh?"

"Fuck youuu"

"well you could always be the big one in our squad, if you live that is"

He eyes go wide

And tears come out

And she's blabbering

"P-p-please don't let me die! I... I want to live, please, please, auraruhuahahg"

she just devolves into crying screaming

Wow, big girl, really ready to be a sith master.

>what do now

and lmao
"Just... how old are you?"
I have a feeling this wasn't voluntary and this might be just some kid they took up and fucked with.

Ask her if she likes candy and take her to the Big K van, tell Wulf he has a new friend to play with! He also has dibs on anything still lootable in the building aside from a lightsaber.
ask her if he wants to come with the nice man and the short guy to help kill bad guys

can we sense her force aura or eatever?
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"Just... how old are you?"

She keeps sniffling and crying but chokes out she's called Sheulk and she's 18

"Do you like candy, girl?"

"Ohgod, please help... PL-"

"Do you like candy?"

"Y-y-yes i like candy, now please!"

You pick her up and hear a crack and a scream when you do


You couldn't tell what bone it was but it sounds like it hurts when it breaks so you'll have to avoid it.

Though your bruised chest seems to be handling carrying the giant pretty easy.

You get her to the Big K van while Wulf loots, and you stop the bleeding.

She keeps crying and sniffling softly but she's no longer screaming

She nearly falls asleep but you slap her wide awake telling her if she falls asleep now, she dies, and give her a soft sweet.

You try to ask if she wants to come with and she just dirty looks you like "i'm in your fucking mystery machine aren't I you prick" so you slap the look off her face.

If you're saving her life you aren't taking any shit, you ain't mario.

Her force aura is a bit of dark side but pretty close to neutral.

Also your exogorth has literally only just calmed down after all that, and you push it back in to your boxers and zip up the broken zip to keep it in.

>what do now
Wait for wulf then drive back home, talk to her while we do so and do first aid, etc.
Ask how bad that Darth was to her.
When we got to the base/academy get her a doctor and then explain to the others. Do personal surveillance on her, to make sure she is acclimatised.
what the other guy said, but maybe get KJ to help out since he is a former sith
Bro, did you died?
bumpp of hope
one more for god and queen

i feel as if wynaut scored some poosy/dick and left us, if that's the case then I am happy
I'm giving one bump too, and then heading out.
fuck i fell asleep
oh well, resuming
Oh hey. Welcome back.
"So, how bad was that Darth to you?"

"He, wasn't. You probably saw him cradle me... holding injured me tight... till my hand came from behind with a rock."

"Yeah I saw, why the fuck did you do that?"

"...Rule of two baby"

Wulf arrives with a dufflebag full of shite and jumps in the drivers' seat and dirty looks you seeing your passenger.

You shrug and he starts driving.

You poke and prod her more and find out she loves to fight, work out, and her new master position. and that they weren't here to fight you but instead just to subjugate, but she leaked their location in order to fight and in order to kill her master easier too.

You get back to the temple while everyone's eating dinner and pull the nurse away from their food in front of everyone while princess carrying this very heavy and large prisoner around, before she gets taken to the infirmary.

>what do now

wargwarn blud
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if only famalam, it was 7:30 am, I passed out
Try to figure out how "rule of two" factors into anything given all the Darths we've mauled. Set up a plan for where we need to hit next.
Either bring She-Hulk here round to our way of thinking or put her down.
Who knows we might be able to avert Wulf's vision by setting her up as Not-Wolverine's legal "adopt-a-chick".
Guy used to be Sith, he might know how to talk to her a bit better than us. Or at least get us on the right track.

That said. We do need to figure out what's up with Joe. Probably shouldn't go it alone for that for reasons.
You leave her to rest a little while the nurse begins to do her work and find Wulf counting out his new credits with his duffelbag of loot.

"Hey Wulf, you should raelly go to the nurse too, you're still bleeding."

"As are you"



"Anyway, I was wondering if you have any advice considering our new friend."

"How would I have advice?"

"You used to be sith right? How does this rule of two work? How can I avert your vision?"

"Firstly, I never understood anything in the sith other than emotion based fighting, but, rule of two means there can really only be a master and a student, and a lot of Sith kill their master to be the new one. And you can avert my vision by...Well... making sure the darth who's grey matter is still splattered on your friend to not come back to life. As I said, my visions have never been accurate, just what could be."

"Okay, well, we'll need to acclimate her, can you adopt her?"

"Can a rogue jedi adopt an adult sith during a war? No."

"At least come with me to talk to her now"


5 minutes later

You arrive at the infirmary and the nurse begins pulling bits of shrapnel from your face and legs you forgot was there, aswell as pulling the back of your jeans down and putting a plaster on the shrapnel wound on your buttcheek tattoo

Tattoo? Nevermind, later.

She's not in her bed, but is instead doing pull up son the curtain bar, bandaged like a mummy.

she sees you and smirks

"You got lucky earlier, but I was right to leak our location to the cops, that was pretty fun"

"I wouldn't call slamming you through 5 floors luck"

"Having a dick that reflects hundreds of pounds of force is luck"

"All skill"

"Whatever, it's getting the way of my set"

At this point you notice that she's only really using one arm since you shattered the other wrist, you'd find the manacles tied around her legs hot if she wasn't covered with debris and gore.

"Anything else slugger?"

>what do
>Implying the debris and gore isn't the best part
"So, still on that whole 'subjugate' thing? I mean what was the plan supposed to be? Turn me over to the Hutts or whoever?"
"I'm just saying there's probably better fights to be had on this side rather than working for them."
"Oh, hey, you know where the drop off point was supposed to be?"
>After a bit
"Either way, glad you're feeling a little better anyway."
Then maybe duck out and plot.
Probably smoother ways to do that but I need caffeine.
>Implying the debris and gore isn't the best part

"So still on that whole subjugate thing?"

"I never was, i'm here for fun. At the very least I'm currently your prisoner either because of you liking what you see" she says wiping sweat from her brow with her gimpy hand, "or because you like what i know"

"Something like that"

"Well if it makes you feel better, you're kinda cute, so I'll let myself stay a prisoner in these shackles you keep staring so hard at you vanilla kiddo, until i get bored and leave since we both know i won't be stopped.

So depending on the fun factor, the timer on her is different.

"Just saying the fights on this side are better"


"Where was the drop off-"

"Are you ever anything but boring?"

"Glad you're feeling better anyway"

"Sad you're still here and being boring"

There's someone staring from the doorway you can feel, and Sheulk's laughing at her parrs on you, and Wulf looks uncomfortable obviously not wanting to be insulted so he's gonna have to fight to defend his honour.

>what do now
Phone posting and need caffeine so shite quality right now, like the quality was ever good tho lmao
Forgot name
sup, just woke up again. ask her if she ever threw a little guy at another guy so the little guy could fuck shit up faster
Go plot, check up on Joe and get ready to murder more dudes I guess.
oh and tell wulf he just got a raise of "you get ferst picks on the alcohol"

gotta know the story on that regen 2, was it the same that gave she her power?
"One queation, you ever thrown a little motherfucker at another motherfucker?"

"Hmph, never pegged you fo-"

"This is an academy that teaches fun, we have a class that teaches fancy moves"

"Of fun eh? Nice, i'm gonna have some fun then" she says pushing past you, "oh yeah, one more thing, trust Wulf only as far as I can throw him."

"Pretty far then?"

"Nope off a cliff" she says sashaying away.

You look at Wulf and you can just feel he wont elaborate, so move on to joes by yourself with a lot to think about.

Like why the fuck did u wake up with a tattoo and highlights, who'd you fuck last night, why are you so fearful of checking your comm, and why do you feel like you were followed to joes despite sensing no one?

You get to the underground base and meet with Joe.

"Welcome child, I assume you're well after last night?"

"Enough. What can i do ya for Joe?"

He hands you carbonata which you dutifully munch on.

"The owner of the factory wants to meet with you, we need someone to go meet with a general to go pick up supplies, and an assassination of one of randall's lieutenants"

"Why not capture him?"

"He knows nothing but must be taken care off, he's as brutal as he is stupid"

>what do
>and assign someone specific to an activity?
>Wulf gets assassination
>Violet gets retrieval because CRAZY stealth to bug out as needed.
>Wulf should probably be told we prefer alive over dead for questioning but not to worry too much.
>Check comms
Until we've a better handle on who exactly the lieutenant is, better to not risk Violet on ??? infiltration.
We can also check with the new girl if she wants to fuck somebody up.
If by new girl you mean sheulk, shes having fun not on a mission right now.
Fair enough
I'll agree with the other anon, and maybe invite wulf for a lil drink and chat, play darts or watever space canadians do

when are we getting a soldierboy with a light-shield
The second we shoot up one of our brightest but physically shittiest padawan-likes with cultivated midichlorian doses we steal from the Sith and activate with Force Lightning.
that... is crazy enough to work, they wanna play weapon i to x project?

we can do that

oh yeah and bribe him with a redhead
Rolled 3 (1d5)

You check your comms.

Message from an unknown saying hi to your personal comm several hours ago.

You reply hi back and instantly are assaulted with a barrageof different smiley faces and asks of hpw you're doing.

Youre not dealing with that right now.

You assign wolf to the assassination and put Vi to the retreival. You set a meeting time for a few hours and invite wulf for drinks.

You go to a bar in neutral territory slightly disguised and sit with him at the bar.

You drink peacefully a while.

You feel a tap on your shoulder.

>what do with 1d100
>we shoot up one of our brightest but physically shittiest padawan-likes with cultivated midichlorian doses

What is this, darths and droids?

Also no light shield soldierboy this time
Rolled 27 (1d100)

Make your best cowboy impersonation and say "howdy partner, what can this old dog do for ya?"
Rolled 72 (1d100)

They do that in Darths and Droids?

Aw bollocks
Rolled 63 (1d100)

"Please be good news or a drinking buddy."
Rolled 56 (1d100)

Important side note: man we oughta find out who those comms come from.
Probably the same person that did our bangs and got with us last night.
Holy fuck hahaha
>hey Kyran, did I ever tell you how your brown hair looks kinda red from an angle
>; -)
"Howdy partnwr what can this old sog do for you? Personally id prefer it to be good news or a drinking buddy"

They tap you again and you turn to see a woman with a notepad which reads "hello k" with a lot of other crossed out sentences.

You say hello and she starts writing more.

And more

On the paper is a long spiel detailing last night, that you got drunk with her, were her first through 12th, had makeovers, and got tattoos of gyro on your butts together, broke into some apartments, got back, and passed out.

Oh yeah, she's in a wheelchair too, though you cant tell why.

You give her a drink and she can finaly talk.

"...sorry for following you..."

"Its fine, im used to it"

"...thanks for the drink..." she says turning to leave

>what do
>buy a nice hat online
>write in
Unfortunately for wulf you're pretty manly looking and your hair's too dark
Stop her
"Hey what's your name? Come on we got matching butt tattoos let's at least chat"
"Sorry for asking, but I blacked out. Remind me what your name is?"
Nice dubs for us breh.

Anyway an addendum:
After asking her name/who she is, tell her we can chat later on if she feels like it. Gotta keep that stock full if you know what I'm saying?
Anyway, drink and chat with wolf about random stuff like women and eventually ask about what happened before with the big girl, tell him it's kay to open up we don't fuck up affiliates. That'd be bad pr
Might need to put it a different way, but if they're both sticking around we at least need to know if their past acquaintance or whatever is going to cause problems.
Yep, nothing more dangerous than secrets.
"Sorry for blacking out, but whata your name?"

"...number 7..."


"So number 7, come drink with me! We have matching butt tattoos and everything"

"...no thanks...there's no spare stools-Ah?!"

You force her out of her chair onto your lap and buy her deinks, and she gets looser and looser with each one, easing up nicely

10 minutes later

Easing up too nicely, she wont stop bouncing on your leg and crotch to the beat, shouting the tale of last night in explicit ear shatterinf detail.

Wulf snuck out a minute ago and you don't blame him, no wonder you apprehensive about opening the comm.

As she details the sounds of your ecstasy you seriously consider glassing her.

>what do
Wulf measages you that if you ask about muscletits then he'll kill you.

Nice to know.

You reply asking what type of women he likes, green?

He tells you to fuck off and that if you really need to Know, redheads, and to stop the questioning since past is past.

Now back to the matter at hand

>what do
Rolled 8 (1d100)

Why's her name number 7?
Chit chat for a bit, go for the kill THEN we go and have our talk with our buddy Irene.
Aggh we keep getting sidetracked by the monster in Ky's pants kek
Go for the kill?
Elaborate nigga

Oh, well that settles it. Send him that redhead folder you've certainly acquired over the yars and get back to the matter at hand. We can learn more about the past in other ways.
Do her.
You send him your redhead folder and he says that between this and the assassination he'll be busy, so later mater
Maybe get #7 to talk about herself a bit.
Get to know muscletits. Hopes. Dreams. Past. Super intimate shit like her name.
Although that might be a bit backburner.

Probably continue calling her muscletits muscletits despite knowing her name.
Dude, can we not focus on indescrimenant dicking right now? We oughta be Shadowrunning a bit.
It's fade to black, jesus. This is an essential part of the character, even if it isn't shown explicitly.
FTB, loving tenderly.
I get that. I just feel like right now we gotta be smarter with our time.
"So, what's your name?"


"I mean your actial name" you ssy nibbling her ear with a method that guarantees answers, "you can tell me" you say with your hands trailing her thighs.

"Uhn, i'm not sure" she moans, "maybe if i got to know you a little better" she says reaching back and freeing your member, letting it stand hidden between your torsos, leaning back onto it.

Wow is she serious.

No more drink for seven

"How about it?"

>what do
>put her in her chair and wheel her to poundtown
>fug right here
>pseudo fug right here
>chair and dash
>throw her off and dash
>"im gonna go check on wolf" and dash
>glass her
>write in
Include lots of deets with your options and write ins
Use the force to see if Ackbar wad right (its a traaap)?

If yes dash and find Wulf.

If not, woah calm down nelly! I'm not a slut, take her somewhere more secluded and acquire the information. No need for details, just do what you do best.
Then return to the academy to continue our operations, possinly ask Vi or KJ if they know anything about experimental sith human weapons.
>put her in her chair and wheel her to poundtown
>Cry a lot

Nah, I'm just kidding. Let's use that afterglow.
Personally I feel like it's better used on muscletits at the moment to figure her deal out but whatever.

>Wheel her to poundtown
Brace against a wall or something to give it to her standing
move to a bed, take her from behind
Whatever really, but we're working her over until she gets the feeling back in her legs.
Ending the thread here due to real life business, but will stsart next thread with this choice.

I cant archive right now so if someone else does it for me i'll be mucho grateful
T'was already archived yesterday.
See you next time, bruhva.

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