You're Big Tink Zognik da Githog, just recently you have made some preparations for new big day. And now, in the presumably middle of the night, you're in the middle of your 'party' that just reached new height in a sense. Because now there's a tower that shoots lightning bolts at everyone around it, and you want it. Now.After bringing morale back of those who got scared of something as puny as lightning bolts that appear nilly willy, you find yourself around your boyz yet again. The barn that was used as a frontier base is now being taken by your orks, this signs your first step towards overtaking the city, but you still have much more to do to actually take it as your own.What do you do, Boss?>Rush straight in for the tower.>Take your time, wrap your army around the tower.>Something else?BRUTAL CUNNIN ACTION (4 points: These are used to make something particularly CUNNINGLY BRUTAL or BRUTALLY CUNNING by orkish standards, depending on severity, more points may be used. They also can be used as rerolls)>?>Your boars are at 20% energy.>Your forces are at 78% total>4 barrels left.
>>44322344>Twitter: https://twitter.com/OrkQuestQM>Character sheet(Beta): http://pastebin.com/sjG6yS4f>Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Daboss>ask.fm: http://ask.fm/OrkQuestQMHere's the surprise, back for a bit.
>>44322344>Rush straight in for the towerGIT DEM WHILE DEY STILL MUKKIN ABOUT!
>>44322344>>Take your time, wrap your army around the tower.
>>44322344>Rush straight in for the tower.
Going in for the tower wins.Writing.
Ah yes.Use the the chariot?>y/n
>>44322616Why do you even bother to ask OP? We are orks from the kult of speed are we not, and we are going to be the biggest AND the fastest around!
>>44322627Just making sure, they're getting low on energy hence I asked.
>>44322616Y Also nice to see ya back.
>>44322644By the way OP. Are the wheels on our chariot painted red? If not then do we have time to paint them?
>>44322690They're already red with blood, as is the chariot and boars really.
>>44322344The tower, while you want it for purely greed related needs, is also the main source of damage to your numbers, something that you can't allow to keep happening. Besides, you really want that tower. Hopping onto the skull chariot, you raise your arm and let out a vicious growl, the boyz automatically rally underneath you and follow in haste as you speed trough the tight alleys towards your new destination, making drive-by's on those who were unlucky to come across you.You reach the place and in an instant you spot how actually bulky the tall building is, you don't know how, but from the distance the tower seemed much more sleek and thin. Of course not that bugs you at all, the bigger the better. But the wall of pikes and rain of arrows forces you to slow down and turn into alley, hiding from the projectiles for a while before emerging from different side, just in time as well because a streak of lightning seemingly punched the ground where you have been mere moments ago.Now being able to see again onto the place, you spot the humongous, metal doors leading inside the tower and the military protecting it. These are not like from previous raid and are all hiding in metal armor and show signs of competence, blocking roads and not letting your army get close enough for melee puree.>Your boars are at 19% energy>Your forces are at 76% total>4 explosive barrels left>Rush in with the car, break trough the wall of spikes and let your boyz spill in.>Barrel bombardment.BRUTAL CUNNIN ACTION(4p):>?>>44322651Thanks.
>>44322752>Brutal kunning plan:>Fill chariot with barrels, let it run towards the gate and (hopefully) a lightning bolt will hit it and create an opening in the defences so our boyz can overrun them
Fuck yes, welcome back dude.
>>44322752Use a barrel or two to make an opening on one side then take the chariot and crash through the opposite side.
2 for barrel bombardment, 1 cunning action.Well, bombardment wins, but how many barrels you want to use?
2 it is.>3d6Good point to mention, after this city, I'll be reworking/changing the dice system.
Rolled 2, 2, 4 = 8 (3d6)>>44323085DAKKADAKKADAKKA!
Rolled 6, 5, 2 = 13 (3d6)>>44323085
Rolled 6, 4, 3 = 13 (3d6)>>44323085
>>44322752Thinking at a mediocre pace, you come to conclusion, you have to spew chaos. Immediately on the spot you ready the lobba on your chariot with the barrel, set it on fire and launch. The primitive grenade twirls in the air before crashing onto the ground, bit off target as it lands further than you wished for, but the effect you wanted happened; The humans all shocked dispersed away from the explosion, at least those not with shrapnel digging into their flesh. This allowed your boyz to make quick dash inside and pummel away at the retreating archers before being met with the shock troops that stationed in the middle of the humongous place.In a super high mood, you whip the reins and the boars move, turning around the building and slipping past the human knights as you prepare another barrel. Placing it on the lowered arm of the catapult, you once again fire it, this time missing the target even more. The projectile hit a corner of a building, above another wall of pikes, it definitely caused an upset in the ranks, it wasn't just enough to let you push in as most of the shrapnel bounced off into different direction or got reflected by the armor.As you think as to what to do next, you're forced to maneuver to the side, away from the building you were driving along as another bolt of lightning punched the house, debris falling on your massive body. And since you turned inwards, your way is now suddenly blocked by a mass of approaching warriors, all armed with spears and definitely not happy with you being here.>Turn sharply to the left, breaking the line of humans from the second shot.>Turn sharply to the right, following your warriors inside.>You're the boss, you can take on these 20 warriors by yourself!>Your boars are at 14%>Your army is at 74% total.>BRUTAL CUNNIN ACTION(4p):>Speed up and jump off, ramming your chariot into them, maybe set off the remaining barrels.>Something else?
>>44323296BRUTAL CUNNIN ACTION:steer the chariot so it rams into the human warriors, but at the last second you jump of and start to beat at the knocked over defenders
>>44323296Let's do this.>>44323358
Well then. BRUTAL CUNNIN point used.>3 BRUTAL CUNNIN points left.>3d6
Rolled 3, 4, 1 = 8 (3d6)>>44323521
Rolled 2, 5, 3 = 10 (3d6)>>44323521Fuck yeah your back. Ive been thinking about you under my covers mang.
Rolled 2, 6, 5 = 13 (3d6)>>44323521
13 a highest. Writing.
>>44323296On the spot, you speed up, entering ramming speed just before putting the brutally cunning plan into motion: At last moments possible, you tug the reins and flip over out of the chariot, in moments it gets parallel to the line of soldiers and crashes into them, crushing those very unlucky underneath hefty weight and spikes. The plan of course backfires in a way that your boars are stuck and now try to fend off the jabs made at them.Thankfully not for long because your mighty hammer crashes into a helmet of the closest soldier, the red and pink pulp erupting from within the gaps of the helmet and causing the body to fall, ejected to the side from your blow. Undeterred, the spikes are now aimed at your massive body. With a growl you block a few jabs with your arm, forced to take few steps back and let them partially surround you. Of course you just don't let that happen and an opportunity arises; grabbing one of the spears that didn't manage to be pulled back in time, you yank it towards you, pulling the human which you promptly smash back with the same fist that pulled him in. And as just that happens, bolt of lightning strikes into your army, sending charred bodies flying to the sides, away from impact.>Charge trough and break the half circle.>Grapple someone and slam them into everyone else.>Something else?BRUTAL CUNNIN action (3p):>Call in Boar cavalry.>Yell out for your Nobz to do their job of being near you.>Your boars are at 9%>Your army is at 69% and wavering!
>>44323818>Call in Boar cavalry.>Tell da nobs to get in dat towah and STOP DAT LIGHNTIN!
>>44323818>Charge through and break the half circle.>Call in Boar cavalry.
>>44323818Well, using a point.>>44323855wins.>2 BRUTAL CUNNIN points left>3d6
Rolled 4, 2, 3 = 9 (3d10)>>44324030
Rolled 6, 6, 5 = 17 (3d6)>>44324030
Rolled 3, 3, 1 = 7 (3d6)>>44324030
>>44324036Holy shit, MORK IZ WIT DIS NOB! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
>>44324036Gork and Mork intervention.17, a crit!Writing.
>>44324036I never roll this well in quests starring puny humies.
To make sure I don't get any buts or salt.>Follow your nobz into the tower.>Stay outside and clear out the humans.
>>44324147>Stay outside and clear out the humans.Our boyz need da elp!
>>44324147>>Stay outside and clear out the humans.
>>44324147>Follow your nobz into the tower.
Staying outside it is, returning to writing.
>>44323818You don't have time for these lame squabbles! Your boyz are supposed to take care of such thing! With a whistle, you yell out. "OY YA BOAR GITZ! GET OVAH HERE! I DON'T HAVE DA TIME FOR DIS!" And almost on a whim, you hear the huffs of boars coming close extremely fast. In mere moments the wall of pikes is sent flying in screams of agony as the cavalry arrived. There's not a whole lot left for you to fight because everyone ends up with broken limbs or outright dead after crashing onto the ground from the charge. Not that you mind, there's still a lot left.And as you turn your attention to the tower, your heavy units are already working on it as if reading your mind. In fact, as you look up to the windows at the very top and notice flash of blue light, a rock and other various debris is thrown in there, stopping the bolt from appearing, soon after that, the nobz rush in trough the door, bashing it down in mere seconds.To make sure they're not easy targets, you charge in and turn towards the nearby, advancing formation of humans, set to stop your commanders. With a heavy crash you break the rank and swing wildly, routing the unit back with heavy losses as gory explosions and caved body parts cover the close area within you. Tracing them, you spot the one human who must be ordering the whole defense. You know this because of the fancy hat with three humongous feathers set atop of his helmet, in addition to him yelling and pointing everywhere.>Your army is at 66% total and no longer wavering. Some boyz will follow you as they got their hands free.>Charge into the guards and deal with the captain.>Deal with his 'resources' he's ordering about.BRUTAL CUNNIN action(2p):>Return to your cart and throw the barrel(s) into him.>Something else?
>>44324388>Charge into the guards and deal with the captain.Smash the enemy boss, we can add his fancy hat to our chariot... once we fix it.
>>44324388Roar a challenge at the plumey uman.OI ye grog licking squig!! Come over ere soes I cans bash ye!!
>>44324388>Charge into the guards and deal with the captain.>YELL OUR LOUDEST WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charging in wins.>3d6.
Rolled 5, 2, 1 = 8 (3d6)>>44324549
Rolled 6, 2, 5 = 13 (3d6)>>44324549
Rolled 5, 5, 3 = 13 (3d6)>>44324549
>>44324388You can't let someone out-boss you, even if that's a boss of you enemy. Stomping with all your might on the ground before yelling out as loudly as you can, rallying your boyz and getting the attention of your target. Yelling out the most massive WAAGH you could, your stompy body charges onwards, gaining speed and closing the distance between you and your target more and more with each stomp made.Arrows, bolts and other projectiles fly past your figure, ever so often digging into your armor or exposed flesh, but the pain does very little in stopping you, if anything it makes you more vivid to get closer. And once you get close enough, you let your arm take in all that speed you gained and turn it into a swing that crashes itself into the first one to stand in your way.The line of pikes is broken immediately and the hole is widened further by the boyz inspirited to charge behind you. Pressing your advantage, you step on top of bodies and reach out with your other hand with a brutal grin towards the captain, only to be stabbed in the finger with a sword from him.Enraged, you pull the hand back, grab your smasha and wind up an overhead swing and drop it, it all took too long to hit and he moved to the side, not pushing in his advantage of dodging and instead backing away. You follow, anchoring your weapon where it ended on impact and make a winded up overhead smash again with a circular motion, speeding it up, yet still not enough. And the captain did not follow in after attack as well, he just stepped out.Looking behind him, you see his target, the tower.>"What's da matter 'umie!? Scared to fight!? HAHAH!" press in, you're bound to hit him.>"YARRGH! GET CLOSER 'UMIE! BOSS ZOGNIK WANTA A HUG!" grapple him.>"What's in dere!? I WANNA KNOW!" Charge into the tower.BRUTAL CUNNIN action(2p):>"Oy ya gitz! stop 'im!" Tell your army to cut him off.
>>44324844>"Oy ya gitz! stop 'im!" Tell your army to cut him off.>"YARRGH! GET CLOSER 'UMIE! BOSS ZOGNIK WANTA A HUG!" grapple him.
>>44324844>>"What's in dere!? I WANNA KNOW!" Charge into the tower.But only to force him closer to us. After a few steps turn around and bash the puny uman.
>>44324844Seconding >>44324963Which is probably a BRUTAL CUNNIN action, I'm guessing.
>>44325034Sadly yes, if you had more cutthroat-ish experiences, that wouldn't be an issue, but so far your tactics were mostly rush in and brek shit.waiting 5 more minutes after this post, if nothing changes, I'll get to writing.
Rolled 2, 2, 2 = 6 (3d6)>>44325218
Rolled 5, 2, 1 = 8 (3d6)>>44325218
Rolled 6, 5, 6 = 17 (3d6)>>44325218
>>44325245It begins it seems.17, a crit, writing.
>>44325293Your welcome boss!
>>44325293DA BIGGESTDA KUNNINESTDA BLUESTZOGNIK DA GITHOG
>>44325361NOT DA BLUEST YA GIT! DA REDDEST! RED WUNZ GO FASTA!
>>44325408YA LANKY GROT, WEZ DA BLUEST TOO, YOU SEE DAT BLUE ARMBAND. THAT MAKES US DA BLUEST, AN WE'LL KRUMP ANY GIT WOT SEZ UVVERWIZE!
>>44324844A plan so cunning as you're fast forms inside of your head, and with a devious grin worthy of a praise of the most backstabby person, you look more directly behind him at the tower."What's in dere!? OY YA GITZ! STOP 'IM!" You yell out before stomping your way onward, not towards the captain, but the building. And as you planned, you got a reaction from him. As some of your boyz start to wrap around both of you, he lunges onward with extreme dedication. His arm bending back towards his body and lounging outwards in a swift slash towards your side, but all of this was too late because you yourself began your tricky trick.Mid step, your entire weight shifts in circular motion as your fist arched from top left to bottom right, and before the sword connects, your imprint is left on the side of the helmet and the eye closest to your limb pops out with gore mid air and then turns into fine paste as he drops dead down the ground. The bloody connection between his skull and the organ snapping once the eye hit the ground and spilling more juices.This is crucial victory as the humans rout all around without a chance to save their leader, they all retreat to the other end of the city and your army following them in a wicked chase.But now as the rush of battle calms down, you spot a very interesting detail, or rather lack of thereof. There is NO nob around. All of those that entered the tower haven't returned. As you step closer to inspect it, you hear a yell of pain and.. Falling down, that's because one of your Nobz happens to be flying out of the windows at quite high velocity.He's also set on fire.>"....WOT YA LOOKIN AT!? GO CHASE DA 'UMIES!" Join them.>"....Wot, da, ZOG." Go up the tower.>Bomb the tower.>Something else?BRUTAL CUNNIN action (1p)>?
>>44325565>Bomb the tower.
>>44325565>>"....WOT YA LOOKIN AT!? GO CHASE DA 'UMIES!" Join them
>>44325565>"....Wot, da, ZOG." Go up the tower.
>>44325565>>"....Wot, da, ZOG." Go up the tower.
Going up the tower wins.>No roll :^).
>>44325798>No roll :^).>:^).EMOTICONS ARE DONRIGHT UNORKY!
>>44325820>AT LEAST GREENTEXT IS DA ORKIEST TEXT!
>>44325565"...Wot, da, ZOG!" When you come to realization that up in this tower there's something that can do THAT, you're in awe and go full greed. Rushing into the tower, 3 boyz follow you, one loaded with rocks, the rest finds being not sent flying and set on fire much more appealing that having that happening to you.The inside of the tower, despite having a lot of room, is cramped, because there's a huge stone pillar inside on which stairs wrap around upwards. Saddening to say but you cannot fit two orks next to each other and you must go in line.Hauling yourself up the seemingly never ending staircase, you're about to regret the decision of heading up her e before hearing the sounds of battle, invigorated again, you speed up to finally close the distance and SEE what causes this tower to be so shockingly awesome.(cont.)
>>44326073Entering trough busted doors, you spot your nobz, slowly shuffling away from.. A human, in fact you're not even sure if that's a human because it's even more puny than any other puny human. It's like the human with big chest but small figure, but even more punier, his face looks like a face of THE puniest 'chest human' you could ever imagine, he's also extremely tiny and you're surprised that he's capable of holding a staff that's twice as long as he is. The staff itself is not worthy of a note besides a shiny, purple glowing rock set on top of it. Again, you're surprised to see him holding it because, apparently, all of his shoulder and arm muscles went to the middle of his body."...Wot da zog is dis! D-Dis puny.. PUNY 'UMIE IZ STOPPI-WHOAH!" Barely dodging to the side, the lighting from the end of the staff punches the circular wall next to you, but it surprisingly doesn't crumble. A sturdy building. "I'm... I'm... I'M TENEBROUS BLACK! MY MASTER ORDERED ME TO PROTECT THIS CITY WHILE HE'S OUT DOING IMPORTANT THINGS! I WILL NOT FAIL MY MASTER YOU.. WRETCHED GREENSKINS! I SHALL DESTROY ALL OF YOU WITH MY POWERS!">"I... Uh.... I KILLED YER WATER 'UMIE!" Charge.>"..Wrong building." Go back, you got better things to do.>Something else?BRUTAL CUNNIN action (1p.)>?
>>44326096HUMIE WEIRDBOY! THROW A ROCK AT 'IM!
>>44326096Gotsta gree wit dis one. Ya don mess wit da wierdboys>>44326136
>>44326096>"YOU HUMIE! YOU FOIGHT LIKE AN TRUE ORK! YOU WANNA JOIN US?"If he refuses>"TO BAD THEN! LET'S FOIGHT!"
>>44326136>>44326163DATS UNORKY YA GROTS! WEZ DA BOSS!
>>44326168>LETTIN A HUMIE JOIN UZ>A HUMIE WHO IZ SCRAWNIER EVEN DAN REGULAR HUMIES>DISGROT.GIT
>>44326205DAT HUMIE KRUMPED ALL OUR NOBS! DATZ RIGHT ORKY! ALL WEZ GOTTA DO IZ PAINT EM GREEN!
>>44326221NAH WE KRUMP IM AN WAIT FOR PROPPA WEIRDBOYZDIS AINT SUM ZOGGIN MULTIKULTURAL GITFEST, ONLY MULTI FING ERE IS MULTIKRUMPIN LOTS OF GITS AT ONCE WIV OUR WAGON!
>>44326280my sides are gone.
>>44326300I think I found'em boss!!
Writing.Holy shit.>3d6 before I start writing though. roll high
Rolled 5, 2, 2 = 9 (3d6)>>44326443
Rolled 1, 2, 5 = 8 (3d6)>>44326443
Rolled 1, 5, 3 = 9 (3d6)>>44326443
>>44326443Spend a brutal cunning on reroll.
Do you wish to spent your last point for a reroll?>Y>N
Well shit, sudden stop.>3d6.
Rolled 6, 2, 3 = 11 (3d6)>>44326792
Rolled 5, 4, 1 = 10 (3d6)>>44326792
Rolled 4, 1, 5 = 10 (3d6)>>44326792
11 is highest, writing.
>>44326096Without saying anything, you reach back, grab the ork behind you and drag him in front. He's clearly not wanting to stand in front of the boss despite being loaded with ammunition. Hesitantly, he picks up a javelin, looks at the tiny, butt-wide human and winds up a throw. However, the moment the projectile gets close to the staff, it glows after being raised and the projectile stops mid air. Then it turns around towards you and is hurled at even faster velocity than before.Making smart use of your boy, you duck under him, and with a wet, stabbing sound, he drops down with the piece of wood flopping around in between his eyes.Mad at the incompetence, you pick up one of the rocks your ork dropped, throw it into the air and swing with an angry yell, slamming the rock with your weapon like it was a ball and your hands were holding a bat.The ball of rocks flies faster than the javelin, but yet it stops right in front of his face and it levitates there before turning bright red, heated up it's flung to the side to another nob, he barely deflects it with his hand. burning flesh steaming from the back."I WILL DEFEAT YOU BECAUSE MY MASTER BELIEVES IN ME!>What do, boss?>There's 2 simple boyz and 3 nobz capable of fight, morale is low.
>>44327164Whops, completely forgot to format the text.
>>44327164Boyz time ta Waaaaghh!!! like we've neva done befor. Charge!
>>44327164Pick up the boy'z body and use 'im as a shield. Once the electricity hits 'im, throw him away and charge the humie from the side.
>>44327164Use a boy as a shield and charge the humie weirdboy. Krump him with whatever's left of the boy.
>Mfw I gotta go.Perfect. Fucking. Timing.Really sorry guys for ending in such place but I gotta. I will continue later, possible after tomorrow.Can somebody archive the thread? I don't have the time, even for QnA.Sorry again.
>>44327296S'all good boss, thanks for the thread. Good to have this thread back again.
Archived it for ya, Boss.>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/44322344/