>>44203743
Hey you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family, others pick them for you.

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>>44203743
"We need the Rose cultists," you decide at last. "Even with as few numbers as they have they're better than the soldiers we don't have. That means taking out the mercs that are digging near here."

"Those'll be mine," River says quietly. "I was on patrol when we got ambushed. Black Hammer company, currently with two oni attached, supervised by one of Lisa's subordinates."

"She has subordinates?" Nathan asks.

"Yeah. Name's Kelly. Her mother was a traveling minstrel. Her father was a very persuasive rakshasa."

You stare flatly at the elf. "She's a catgirl demon?"

"Yep."

"Amy, next time, we bring booze, so I can drink statements like that out of my life and never remember them again."

Amy flashes you a grin.

"What can we expect?" Nathan asks.

"Black Hammer's hardened troops, but they're scared of the demon and the oni. Take them out, and the rest will probably disperse. Honestly, between Lisa not shelling out for healing and the Keepers being as vicious as they've been, morale is shit. They might just pull out."

"Good to know," you note. "What do you know about oni?"

"Big. Big weapons. Fast for their size, persuasive, ugly as sin, and mean. And before you ask, the only thing I know about Kelly is that she calls men and women into her tent every night and they show up needing medical attention in the morning."

"I don't like it," Nathan muses. "Lots of unknowns. And with the environment this cramped, we'll probably have to turn any attempt at recon into an ambush."

"What if someone assassinated the demon?" Amy proposes. "Fetch or I could do it." The undead chicken preens, proudly.

"Definitely a thought..."

> Try to scout it out
> Send [Amy/Fetch] to assassinate Kelly
> Storm the dig site
> Show up openly, attempt diplomacy
> Write-in.

>>44204020
>Try to scout it out

>>44204020
>> Show up openly, attempt diplomacy
Let's try to get us some minions by making a better offer than "cursed gold and the wrath of heaven". We're the Good Guys, we don't jump to assassinations at the first opportunity.

The second opportunity, though, we will. Have Fetch ready to murder from the shadows.

>>44204020
>Send Amy AND Fetch to assassinate Kelly
> Show up openly, attempt diplomacy
at the same time, get mercenary attention and keep them away from Kelly/Oni. Hopefully this puts Nathan in a good position to get started on the Oni.

>>44204020
>> Send [Fetch] to assassinate Kelly
I think the mercs will pull out if their shitty CO is dead and there's no pay worth the trouble.

>>44204020
>Assassinate Kelly while Diplomancing Black Hammer.

Lisa is using them as fodder and those that survive will more likely then not find themselves with nails in their eyes when all is said and done. worst case it works as a diversion to distract the Mercs away from kelly.

>>44203743
>Does Anon Read These Titles Edition
I do!

>>44204299
I missed that. I think people would be more likely to read them if Vox didn't MAKE THREADS BACK TO BACK HOLY SHIT YOU ___MAN

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>>44204366
UNTIL. AT LEAST. JANUARY.

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>>44204496

>>44204020
>>Send Amy AND Fetch to assassinate Kelly, try diplomacy as a diversion.

who knows, maybe we can get the Oni to bug out as well. or at least learn what their stake in all this is.

Alright, there's enough votes for both assassination and diplomacy that I'm going to call it for the combination.

>>44204576
Too late to vote, but I just want to say this does not sound like a way to be successful at diplomacy.

>>44204706
>maybe we can get the Oni to bug out as we
we arn't diplomacying Lisa, just Black Hammer. their boss a shit and I hope they agree.

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>>44204020
"Okay," you admit. "This is going to be a bit...underhanded. But I think it'll get us out of this with a minimal loss of life. From the sound of it, River, your old comrades are sorta shitty people. But I think maybe you're not too eager to turn on them. That sounds like the sort of thing the person you'd like to stop being would do."

You see a flicker of pain in the elf's eyes, and her gaze lowers so she can hide behind her red, red hair. "...Yeah. They're scum. But they're my brothers."

"So one group is going to approach openly, under the pretense of looking for work with Lisa," you continue. "In the meantime, Amy, Fetch, and the chickens will circle around and try to assassinate Kelly, the oni, or both. Kelly if you can, the Oni if she's not available, additional targets at your discretion. Amy, I'm putting you in charge of that."

"Yes ma'am," Amy says brightly. She grins at Fetch, and the undead chicken 'bawks' respectfully.

"If things go south," you say firmly, "don't hesitate to kill. I want everyone here to come back alive. Retreat if we have to - we can try again later."

"Fetch can let you know if things go south on our end," Amy says helpfully.

"Everyone understand your parts?"

There's a chorus of "Yes ma'am," and "aye".

"Then let's start this off right.

> You are Brianna la Croix, with the diplomacy team.
> You are River la Croix, attempting diplomacy with your former brothers.
> You are Amy the Dungeonbreaker, on the assassination team.
> You are Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, on the assassination team.

>>44204840
What's Nate up to?

Vote will be a bit extended while I take care of some things.

>>44204878
He's with the diplomacy team, but he's not an option for this potential perspective change.

He could have been, but ya'll didn't wanna know what was bothering him earlier.

>>44204840
>> You are Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, on the assassination team.

>>44204840
>You are Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, on the assassination team.
We haven't been him yet.

>>44204840
> You are Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, on the assassination team.

Seems like the team in more danger, and one of the two characters most likely to get updates from the other team. Plus, we haven't been Fetch before, and he's a chicken hydrolisk death knight.

>>44204840
>You are Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, on the assassination team.
Bird time: the sequel: remixed

>>44204840
Unrelated, but what's "and as I am fo muft you be" mean?

>>44204944
>As I am So must you be

Fancy olde english S's

>>44204944
"As I am, so must you be." Those symbols that look like 'f' are actually an old way of denoting that the 's' sound is a long sound rather than a short one. The entire message is a reminder that all people live and die; it is said as if from the dead to the living. "As I [the dead] am, so must you be [as well]."

AFK now to take care of aforementioned things.

>>44204840
> You are Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, on the assassination team.

Vote called, writing final update of the night.

I have to work tomorrow (today?) between 2:30 PM EST and 6:30 PM EST, possibly longer depending on call-ins etc. I will be running between waking up and going in, and then between getting home and going to bed.

Thanks again for reading and participating! Gonna do the early archive thing before I hit bed.

>>44204840
> You are Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, on the assassination team.
Not like I need to vote; we have this on lockdown already.
Still want to squire Amy/Nathan

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>>44204840
You are Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, knight in service to the noble and radiant Brianna la Croix, who gave unto you the gift of life-in-death, and you have a very important job.

Right now, you also have an important mission. Your liege lady has entrusted you with the destruction of her heinous enemies, a task that will save lives and give you the chance to prove your valor in battle. But that is not your important job.

You aren't sure how much your queen's mates have noticed, but she is unsettled, down here in the dark. Some of it, you know, is homesickness; Brianna misses the sunlight, and the songs of birds, and she longs to walk the roads again. Some of it is the home she never really said goodbye to.

But mostly, you think, she needs a good cry. You can feel the knot of sorrow tangled up in her soul, the frustration at the injustice of her life, her weariness, her anger. Your liege does a very important job, and she does it well. She cares for others and tries to do the right thing, and it makes you proud to be her knight.

But she needs some time to cry, and be held, and be told she's done a good job.

Everyone needs that, sometimes.

You bob run alongside your queen's female mate, the half-harpy whose name in the bird tongue is Falling Knives. You aren't in position yet. Maybe you could bring it up?

> Say something
> Mind on the job

>>44205470

> Mind on the job

Better to not distract her; we can bring it up after the completion of our mission.

After all, we are most dutiful birb

>>44205470
>> Mind on the job
what a good bird

>>44205470

> Mind on the job

keep our mind on the job, tell Amy after we are done

>>44205470
>>> Say something
Just tell her we have a favor to ask of her later concerning our liege. After that talk we had about shadows and finances, we should know we're not equipped to deal with all of Bri's problems, and he can relay as much to Amy.

Also mention that it's not an immediate problem. Just, y'know. Something he wants help solving. Maybe also chi(r)p in that we'd be indebted to Amy, so on and so forth.

> Mind on the job

Alright folks, thread is archived and I'm leaving the vote open overnight while I get some PRECIOUS FUCKING SLEEP.

Thank you again for reading, participating, and voting. As always, I'll address questions in the morning, and feedback and commentary are both welcome.

Still kinda tickled pink about those vampire hunter greentexts.

>>44205588
We could keep going, I'm sure. Maybe not with vampire hunters alone though.

What else does the Ia Croix family do that has the potential for delicious misery? So far we got vamps, necromancers, and ghosts to work with.

> Say something

Better to bring it up now so that we don't forget it later. Who knows when we're gonna be Fetch again?

>>44205625
Great, great grandparents harping on their descendants about "how we did things in the good old days"?

>>44205625

Liches? Rose cultists should have some fun interactions too.

>>44205588
Mind telling us more about liches, Vox? I know Bri had a plan to be one, though I'm not sure how that fits with the Ia Croix mentality at this point. Plot hole due to advancing character development?

>>44205588
>>44205682
Nevermind, noticed the bit about answering questions IN THE MORNING a bit late. Sleep is important.

Not for madmen, though
Give me a bit to have fun with writing again.

>>44204840
>So one group is going to approach openly, under the pretense of looking for work with Lisa
waaaaaait wait wait
I fell asleep, but as the first person to suggest it, I thought we were going to try the "Liza drives silver nails in people's eyes, please stop working for her" deal. I mean, still underhanded because we dont particularly care if they agree immediately, but...

>>44205936
I think it's 'pretense of looking for work to NOT DIE HORRIBLY AT ONCE, once in negotiations try to get them to stop working for her'.

>>44205945
So kinda like
>yo guys, I'm not dead.
>this girl saved me, she cool. Think she'd like some work from Lisa?
>She's a necromancer, but the good kind.
>Doesn't drive nails into people's eye sockets while they're alive to make better zombies. Do you know anything about that?
>We can agree that that's bad mojo, right?

>>44206078
Maybe, though I think with more obviously abandoning the 'we wanna work for this crazy bitch'.

>>44205470
>> Say something

Might as well.

Also this is a bit of a sketchy move, at least it should work with minimal loss of life, if not minimal limb loss.

You absolute mad man

>>44205470
>> Mind on the job
Bring it up with Bri herself later

>>44206181
The thing is, the Oni are potentially insane and probably not in a good mood to negotiate.

On this note the merceneries probably don't want to give over a weapon that can destroy fucking gods either. Sure they could make mad cash off of it, but its also something that even they have to know is a retarded idea as that would attract every wannabe evil overlord, evil deity, death cult, or adventurer to recover it and create a giant cluster fuck. Also as a general rule of thumb, if you have to torture and enslave an angel to get it, you probably shouldn't have it or want to have it.

>>44205470
> Say something
We have two jobs at the moment, after all. We would be remiss in our duty to address only one of them.

>Mind on the job

There will be time to comfort the Queen once this threat is past. For now, she doesn't need the distraction, and if it's bad enough it could put her nearly out of action

>>44207407
>The thing is, the Oni are potentially insane and probably not in a good mood to negotiate.

We don't know what oni are like here. It could be any of
>Cruel savages similar to Tolkien orcs, but bigger and armed with metal clubs
>Noble savages similar to Warcraft orcs, complete with nature magic
>People (or other beings) who accumulated so much bad mojo that it warped their bodies, and spread it wherever they go
>Beings with alien minds who are native to Hell and torture evil souls in order to purify them and allow them to reincarnate
>Sadists who are born on Earth but recruited by Hell to torture evil souls, and stay there because they love their job

>>44205470
>Mind on the job
But it is our duty to serve our Lady to the BEST of our ability. We would be remiss to not mention it to Falling Knives afterwards.

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>>44205682
Lichdom is one of the most stable forms of undeath. At its core, it is the process of removing the soul from the body without permitting it to undergo normal 'death' reflexes, usually by binding it to an object of some kind - a needle, a container, whatever. Lichdom is often set up as an emergency safety net for necromancers, so they can get back up when they're killed, and as liches require maintenance rather than preying on the living it's proven popular among those la Croix inclined towards undeath.

This is not to imply there's not downsides. It's very, very easy to lose human perspective as a lich. Time, and the goals relating to time, mean much less. A lich can pass away a thousand years devoting extreme thought to /one idea/ before they decide they've got all the angles covered and get up to do it. Ideas like, "I should make some talismans tomorrow" mean less because, really, what is "tomorrow" when you have /forever/? When there's no need to eat or sleep to disturb your ruminations? Why care about the miseries of others when you feel so beyond your own petty, mortal needs?

As a result, many la Croix that choose lichdom do so in order to accomplish a particular goal, and build in an expiration date to give themselves a sense of urgency. Those that don't generally go the same route as other liches and end up put down by some Hero or other.

Brianna had been considering lichdom in order to finish her training and instruct an apprentice before dying, as well as the ability to die in a place and method of her own choosing rather than submitting to the pitiless swing of death's scythe.

>>44208325
so could you clarify on
>>44205936
>>44205945
>>44206078
>>44206181
?

>>44208325
>. A lich can pass away a thousand years devoting extreme thought to /one idea/ before they decide they've got all the angles covered and get up to do it.
>As a result, many la Croix that choose lichdom do so in order to accomplish a particular goal, and build in an expiration date to give themselves a sense of urgency.
To be honest, I find the idea of there being a handful of liches scattered around old ruins just autismally doing calculations and research for something without ever setting foot in the outside world for thousands of years pretty amusing.

>>44208461
And then just randomly remembering that they've had a family somewhere and dropping by to visit.
"It has been HOW MANY years?"

>>44208534
They probably wouldn't even be able to find the place, all the landscape, rivers, languages and settlements would have moved/changed/disappeared.

"Who are you people and what the fuck is a 'Rome?'"

>>44208461
>tens of liches in an ancient "tomb"
>actually a REALLY dusty library that they never bother to clean up
>Hey, big bro
>Why do you even still call me that, we're 300 years old, a few minutes is hardly a difference
>Why don't we test these theories on live subjects again?
>You KNOW the rules: no zombies in the library. We leave that to our mortal cousins
>But it'd be so much easier to-
>THAT, little bro, is the way or cackling and zombie armies

>>44208632
"Let me tell you, that Ozymandias character has some real drive. He's gonna do great things one day!"

And our favorite ISP strikes again. Hold up folks.

Alright, we're back in action.

Votes called, writing.

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>>44205470
Now is, perhaps, not the time, though you note to yourself to say something to Falling Knives or perhaps the Hero when you get the chance. This mission is important, and it would not do to distract your queen...but she is also very obviously upset about it.

You wonder, as you often do, how it is you know humans this well when you are an undead bird. Dignified indifference to this state aside, you should probably be less comprehending and empathetic. Shouldn't you? Is it a side-effect of your creation?

Your queen will know. Your queen is wise and knowledgeable.

Circling around the dig site proves easy enough, though you have to order your subordinates into quiet so that they do not make unfortunate bird speech during a time of stealth and cunning. The trench here has been widened into an open pit, and you can see soldiers hammering away at the thick stone door of a crypt, with their shirts off and sweat pouring down their flesh.

It is a mark of how exhausted they are, you suppose, that no one seems to care about the mixed-sex shirtlessness. Either that or some wise recruiter made sure everyone in this squad was completely homo-wait, that wouldn't work either. Exhaustion it is!

Below are three tents, one of which is most obviously the makeshift barracks and/or mess - it's easily three times the size of the other two. Of the two that remain, one flickers from within with lamplight, throwing a massive shadow against the cloth. The other has what you are pretty sure are female humanoid mating sounds coming from it...as well as the tang of death.

|Which do you prefer, noble Nightfeather?| Falling Knives asks.

> The shadowed tent
> The mating tent

>>44208990
> The mating tent
Seems like Kelly is there according to the info

>>44208990
>The mating tent
CLUCK CLUCK MOTHER/FATHERFUCKER

>>44208990
>Mating tent
Incapacitate if possible for potential shade material.

>>44208990
> The mating tent

>>44208990
> The mating tent
Intel indicates that's most likely to be our target.

>>44208990
> The mating tent

> Add in some pithy entrance like 'here to deliver a pizza' or something. ... we're a chicken. "Here comes the cock!"

>>44209226
Unfortunately, too crass for Sir Fetch.

Votes called, writing.

>>44208990
>> The mating tent
DEATH WITH SNU-SNU

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>>44209226
>Brianna often strokes her big black cock in front of the others

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>>44208990
|I will face the demon| you declare, resolutely. |Are you certain you can face the oni on your own?|

|Aye| Falling Knives agrees. |Now we wait for the distraction.|

The two of you slide down the dirt walls of the former trench. Your subordinates move in formation behind you as you move into the shadow of the tent.

"That's right, pet," a smoky, female voice purrs. "What do you say?"

The male voice that croaks its answer sounds pained. "Please mistress. Please, I don't want to die. Do whatever you want..."

"I /love/ that sound," the female voice purrs. You can feel the death in the tent dip down further, along with a strangled noise of pain from the male voice. "You know, it's not necrophilia if you're alive when I /start/..."

An innocent...okay, not an innocent, but a man who surely did not choose this is in trouble! But the distraction hasn't arrived either. If you attack now you might alert the camp.

"Mmm...so much blood lost already. So fragile..."

> Rescue him!
> Wait. The plan will save more lives.

>>44209498
> Wait. The plan will save more lives.
I doubt our necrotoxin can kill her before she sounds the allarm.

>>44209498

> Wait. The plan will save more lives.

>>44209498
>> Wait. The plan will save more lives.
I feel for the dude, but if it's as bad as it sounds, then all the more reason for things to proceed as planned so this bitch will die

>>44209498
> Wait. The plan will save more lives.
Kinda not-really sorry for the guy, plus Fetch is a mission-first kind of poultry.

>>44209498
> Wait. The plan will save more lives.

"Ultimately, in the wasteland empathy must be limited."

> Wait. The plan will save more lives.

>>44209498
> Wait. The plan will save more lives.
It is the ruthless calculus of what should be done.

>>44209771
>the ruthless calculus of what should be done

Phrase like that end in zombies, anon.

Admittedly, we're not Bri right now.

Sweet, glorious breakfast.

Votes called, writing.

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>>44209498
You wait, though every instinct says to charge into GLORIOUS BATTLE against the FOUL VILLAINESS. The elf had said the men she took to bed showed back up in the morning. Surely he'll live, yes?

"Hail the camp," the elf's voice calls. "Bet you thought I was dead."

"Hol-ee shit," comes the return drawl. "River?"

"Found a necromancer wandering about. Can you imagine that these corpse-fuckers don't like her for some reason?"

A round of chuckles tells you that the elf has the attention of the mercenaries. You slip in under the tent, holding it up for your brothers, and find that the female voice is attached to a female body, nude and atop a stone altar. She rides the dying man beneath her with a throaty chuckle, even as she digs her claws deeper into his ribs.

Tiger ears, tiger tail, reeks of death and vice. Definitely the demon.

"HAVE AT YOU!" you cry, and then you bawk |Fire!| in your native tongue. You and your undead brethren whip bony quills through the air that pierce the supple ass of the demoness, making her yowl in pain. She rolls off of her victim, hissing and spitting, and drops out of sight.

When she pops up to her feet, she is fully armored and holding a sledgehammer. She glares down at you and blinks in surprise.

"What the fuck is this?" she demands, pointing the head of the hammer at you.

You swell your chest and raise your helmeted head. "I am Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, demon! I have done battle with your kind before. Surrender immediately or face death in honorable combat!"

"You just shot me in the ass while I was busy having sex, you shit."

"I am still a chicken."

"...I don't want to say you have a point, but you kind of have a point." A backhanded swipe of her claws rips open the throat of her erstwhile mate; you wince when you see the blood splatter the tent walls. "You want me? Come and claim me."

> CHARGE!
> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
> SPLIT UP!
> WRECK THE TENT! HOPE YOU DIDN'T NEED THIS PAPERWORK OR THESE IMPORTANT OBJECTS!

>>44210101
>> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
>> SPLIT UP!
Avoid, avoid, avoid, wear her down and then swarm when she's too weak to crush everychicken

> CHARGE!

>>44210101
> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!

>>44210194
> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
> SPLIT UP!
Run around the tent, let her wreck her own tent with her swings.

>>44210101
>> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
>> SPLIT UP!

Let the toxin do it's work. Even if it turns out she's immune, it's never a bad idea to pepper your foe with missiles before entering melee.

>>44210101
> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
> SPLIT UP!

>>44210194
>>> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
>>> SPLIT UP!
>Avoid, avoid, avoid, wear her down and then swarm when she's too weak to crush everychicken

Seconded.

Alright folks, Real Life got me and I'm going to leave the vote open until I get home from work.

Sorry that this thread's been kinda choppy thus far.

> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
> SPLIT UP!

>>44210101
> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
Our queen didn't give us poisoned quills for nothing.

>>44210101
> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
> SPLIT UP!

Collateral damage is acceptable in this tent. Pepper her with quills, play the distance/flanking game, and dash in for claw rakes whenever she's distracted by a different battle-chicken. Utilizing your tiny stature to get out of her hammer's effective arc will be critical, none of them will survive more than 1-2 hits from it.

> Split up. Whomever she goes after evades while the rest pepper her with projectiles. Try to avoid too much damage to paperwork and the like, that's more intel that we need, but don't risk the main mission (killing the demon) just to support a side mission like the paperwork.

>>44208325
A bit late to the party but I have a question. What do liches use as fuel for necromancy? If they're already dead/undead, do they have anything else to sacrifice? Or do they then become completely reliant on sacrificing others to do their spells?

>>44211691
>What do liches use as fuel for necromancy?

The power of Rock.

>>44210101
> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!
> SPLIT UP!

Sledgehammers are scary when you're a chicken, and we need to take her down.

>>44210101
We've already shot her, all we have to do now is keep her distracted until the necrotoxin takes effect.
>SPLIT UP!

>>44212333
Do we know how long demons take to go down? Shoot her while she's all ready for us to come and get her, then move.

>>44212333
She'll probably succumb to the necrotoxin, but we can't be sure of that. How much do we know about half-rakshasa immunities and resistances? Even if not immune, could take a larger dose than normal humans. We don't all have to just stand our ground and let her hit us, but at any given time, she can only be swinging at one spot, so most of us will be in the clear and should keep firing. Only those she's focusing on at a given moment need stop firing in order to evade.

>>44210101
> FIRE, MY BROTHERS!

>>44210101
> SPLIT UP!

Kite + pester; she can't handle three angry cocks at once.

>>44210101
backing >>44210194

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>>44212285

Group aggro, yo.

>>44211741
>The power of Metal.
FTFY
You are now picturing Jack Black as a litch

Off work, heading home to update. Fifteen minutes to vote call.

Votes called. Will write soon, must find food, coffee.

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>>44210101
"What if I don't want you? You seem to eat your mates," you note, haughtily.

"I - I am not a vampire, you idiot bird, I hurt them because it's /fun/. The way they get - why am I even explaining this?"

"Clearly because of a long-repressed need to seek the approval of a distant, unloving father," you opine, fluffing your feathers.

"HOW DARE - you challenged me to battle! What is it you call this?"

From outside the tent, you hear two things - a bellowing roar of pain, and a male voice loudly declaring, "Fuck them anyway, the pay ain't worth this."

"Distracting you," you note, mildly, to Kelly's wide eyes. |FIRE, MY BROTHERS!|

The quills catch Kelly in the face and hands as she vaults the stone slab, making her cry out in frustrated pain and spoiling her leap.

|Scatter! Hunting formation! Lesser skeleton, keep firing!|

"ARE THESE FUCKING POISONED?" the demoness roars, barely missing you with a savage swipe of her hammer. Your lesser brethren run to flank her, the stupid one continuing to pepper her with quills that plink off of her armor and, sometimes, find their mark.

"Envenomed with /justice/, black widow!" you taunt. You flap up onto a table and hop away just in time for the hammer to annihilate it. "You should feel the judgement of the righteous slowing your wicked movements even now!"

"IT IS LITERALLY NECROMANCY YOU INSANE UNDEAD FARM ANIMAL!"

"I should call me a knight, Kelly," you mock, dashing between her legs, just under a downward chop from her hammer. "I, for one, would be ashamed to face the gods and say I'd been slain by a farm animal."

"I WILL RAPE YOUR CREATOR TO DEATH WHILE YOU FUCKING WATCH!"

Your turn and see a lance of fire forming in her hands.

Finally, a challenge!

> Duck!
> Dodge!
> Go for the eyes!

>>44216233
> Go for the eyes!
she won't see it coming, especially after we gouge her eyes out

>>44216233
> DODGE!
We have tactics, follow them!

...that said, getting smack-talked by a CHICKEN has got to be embarrassing

> Dodge!

>>44216233
>go under her legs
>FIRE, MY BROTHERS

>>44216233
> Dodge!
>FIRE, MY BROTHERS

>>44216351
infallible logic

> Dodge!
>FIRE, MY BROTHERS AT THE EYES

>>44216233
>Duck!

Was gonna say "dodge", but then I realised that we're a bird now, so "duck" it is.

>>44216351
GET OFF THE STAGE!

>>44216233
>> Duck!

>>44216233

>Dodge
>Duck
>Dip
>Dive
>Dodge

>>44216233
Seconding >>44216606
changing vote from >>44216605

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQqkQKde_kU

>>44216233
>> Go for the eyes!
SHE CANT HIT US IF HER EYES ARE POISON, HAHAHAHAHAHA

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>>44216774

>inb4 demons are ninjas

>>44210101
>>44216233
By the way vox, I'm just going to say, this whole series of events is laugh my ass off.

Calling in four.

>>44216829
We really need to waifu/husbando for Fetch.

Just, JUST so someone can turn to Bri as they stand in the doorway of the miniature rooster necroharem and declare "You just got your cock rocked."

>>44216913
We should get him a little coffin to rest in, just so we can show people our Cock in a Box.
Bri's mania can be observed via an increased propensity for dick jokes.

Called, writing.

>>44216913
>>44216963
This is the point at which I remind people that way back when ya'll bought these chickens I mentioned they were hens. Fetch was even "she" before acquiring a mind in an attempt to remind you of this fact.

Mind you, after his voice came out all knightly just about everyone involved gave up on it. He's undead, not like his body's bits matter.

>>44217030
heh. Does Fetch know the corpse he was made from was that of a hen?

>>44217173
It'd be quite amusing if he didn't. I'd love to see his reaction.

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>>44216233
You tense, and see the triumph in her eyes.

"Not so smart now, are you?" the demoness hisses in glee. She hurls the bolt at you, and you zip forward, much faster than she was expecting. The flame singes the top of your white helmet - you'll have to apologize to your liege for disrespecting her craft later - just as you cry out in your native tongue.

|Fire for her eyes!|

The stupid skeleton misses, but you knew it would.

The smarter one's quills fly true, piercing the lenses of her eyes and sinking into her pupils. She drops her hammer in pain and shock, screaming at the blood and water flowing from her pierced organs.

You leap as she's sinking to her knees. Your claws dig into her throat and end the screaming, replacing it with the gush of blood and her own pained, strangled sounds.

Then the tent flap opens.

* * * *

You are Brianna la Croix and /holy fuck your bird just killed a demon/.

Except. She's not /quite/ dead yet.

> Make a shadow
> Let her die

>>44217264
>> Make a shadow
Demon shadows probably make good shadows. Also, she just got killed by a chicken, think of the emotions running through her skull.

>>44217264
> Make a shadow
Fuck yea, Demon shadow.

>>44217264
>> Make a shadow
DIBS!

>>44217264
> Make a shadow

>>44217264
A shadow of Indignation? Well, if it's Fetch's shadow...I dunno...

>>44217283
>Make a shadow

Dude, we have Pain, Lust, Wrath, and freaking /shame/ from dying to three undead chickens.

If possible, use the physical remains to upgrade toughness/intelligence on the dumb one

> Make a shadow

>>44217173
Doesn't matter. Sir Fetch is still an honorable knight in service to Queen Brianna.

>>44216233
>DUCK DODGER!
...Waitaminute.

>>44217264
>Make a shadow

This is definitely up there on the list of horrible sudden and emotion filled deaths. Seriously, how many people can attest to being killed by an undead chicken knight

>>44217264
> Make a shadow
Waste not. Besides, the hint of embarrassment is so hard to find in dying people.

>>44217264
We don't know how the fight is going with the Oni outside, but either way, we are getting our awesome infernal shade.
>Make a shadow.

We should also commend Sir Fetch on his excellent performance. I mean, he's beaten two demons so far!
>Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, Defender of Hens and Slayer of Hellspawn.

> Make a shadow

>>44217264
Assuming we have the time
>Make a shadow

>>44217449
>Sir Fetch the Nightfeather, Defender of Hens and Slayer of Hellspawn.
I do love that our undead minion is Paladin as fuck.

Votes called to a hilarious majority.

Writing.

>>44217449
CLUCK CLUCK, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK

GET DUNKED ON, DEMONS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT! SIR FETCH THE NIGHTFEATHER COMETH, SO QUAIL AND DUCK!

>>44217834
So, offhand, what are the downsides to having a demon catgirl shadow that was showing off how well she could alternately give and take a pounding?

>>44218465
Are you having lewd thoughts about an incorporeal shadow-minion?
>inb4 someone makes a joke about black cats

>>44218503
More the other way around. What are we intending to send her on that would play to her death?

>>44218503
what exactly is a shadow again? It's like...a ghost but not a ghost?

>>44218569
Its a ghost created by the emotions experienced at ones end, it isn't a true ghost as it isn't a soul or a fragment of one even. It is more powerful the more emotional the death was. Usually fear is used as thats easy to get, so is pain.

>>44218569
From what I recall, I think it could best be described as turning the echo of somebody's death into a servant and warrior

>>44218238
Cluck cluck watchin' mofuggas duck
>>44218503
>inb4 Nathan shadow-play

Can the shadow manipulate things? Does it hide in other shadows?

I think Nathan needs a hug and a talk.

>>44218618
So an angry demon furious at it's death and desperate for revenge sounds like an excellent warrior shadow.

>>44218569
It's kind of like an imprint of a dying persons soul on raw darkness.
>>44218597
Yup, I think that's about the size of it. If we make a shadow from little miss Crazy Cat, it'll have a mix of emotions like >>44217326 mentioned. It'll be harder to control, but stronger for it.

>>44218697
The poor Hero probably deserves some affection. I wonder if the Money-Changer's stupid power-play antics have reminded him of his mom? That'd explain his sour mood.

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>>44217264
"Hold her right there, Fetch," you instruct calmly. You shake out a fistful of silver fragments and clutch them in your left hand. You feel the metal bite your skin and suck in a hissing breath.

Calm down, Brianna. You've done this before.

Gods, you've done this before.

You put a hand on Kelly's head, between her catlike ears, and begin the incantation. Making a shadow is deceptively simple, you remember. The silver. The death. Your own shadow.

There's blood trickling down your wrist as the spell starts to take hold. Fetch squeezes his prey, releasing a small spurt of blood and, mercifully, the demoness's death rattle. You feel your shadow ripple and change as it absorbs the spell, soaking in the death and feasting on the lingering emotions.

When you look down, your shadow's hat is gone, replaced by twitching cat ears and a long tail. It looks around in confusion, and then draws its knees up to its chest and cries.

"Yeah," you say softly. "That's about what I expected."

Outside, you hear Amy talking. "I've got an axe in its head but it's just going to heal the moment we take it out."

"No worries," Nathan reassures her. "Verve's got it."

There's a wet sound, like slicing ripe melon, and then the splattering of blood against dirt.

Overally, a good mission.

Fetch lets go of his prey and nuzzles against your shin. "Your plan was both cunning and wise, O my queen. What will happen to the mercenaries now?"

"They're going to leave. And if they don't, I'm going to start killing them until the rest leave," you answer in a low voice. "I can smell the suffering clinging to them like booze on breath."

You look down at the shadow and click your tongue. It stands to attention, ears down in shame, and puts its hands in its pockets.

"You'll need a name," you muse.

> Name the shadow

>>44218800
Ashes

>>44218800
Shame.

>>44218800
>Echo

pikachu

>>44218800
Dusk

>>44218800
Midnight
Nemesis
Vesper
Kella
Kye

>>44218800
Too bad we can't recruit the mercs to work for us. We could use the muscle

>>44218800
>Mercy

>>44218800
You have no idea how badly I want to say meowth, but...
>Kat
is a simple classic

>>44218800
>Mittens

>>44218800
Yeah,
>Mittens

>>44218931
Yeeees, even better than Kat or meowth

>>44218931
Mittens
Supported

>>44218800
Pussy Galore. Double double entendre

>>44218931
Mittens is good. I like Mittens.
>Mittens

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>>44218682
>You curl up with Brooks on her small bed, beneath the blankets. She's warm, and comfortable, and hums quietly as she combs her fingers through your hair. On the far wall, you can see your shadows sitting down at the table, quietly holding hands.

Oh my god, that's sick! Who knew they were such perverts?

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>>44218800
Transi

>>44219062
I'd honestly expected more of a reaction to this at the time.

I guess this is what I get for the thread pace?

>>44218800
>Kat

I think that Mittens is slightly more derogatory than is needed.

>>44218800
Bast

Kat, not mittens

>>44219178
Well, it was a very comfy and romantic moment. It would have been improper to mention the shadow lewds then.

give her the choice of kat or mittens

>>44219183
I can understand that opinion, but I disagree. I think this is about the perfect time to start bringing some snark back in now that the red hot part of the rage has started to cool down a bit

>>44219281
That angel must be laughing hysterically at that. Sure all this sucks for her still but she just got to watch a demon officer of that bitch who enslaved her get murdered by an undead chicken.

I gotta hit some dishes real quick, vote extended while I chores.

In other news I've got two days off in a row. Weeeeeee.

>>44219333
COWARD
Also YAY

>>44219333
Huh

How qm died of exhaustion and overdoses before?

>>44218800
Well, it looks like it's between Kat and Mittens, and we really don't need to be /more/ ridiculous, so...

> Kat

That way, the humor can be how embarrassingly uncreative we are.

Princess Flufflebutt

> Kat

Mittens is still a tad /too/ far.

>>44218800
>Mittens

>>44219333
Goddammit! I work the rest of the week.
>Real life responsibilities always cut into my fun quest time.

At least /tg/ knows my pain.

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>>44218800

> katt is decent.

>>44218800
>Mittens
But if not ask her which she prefers

>>44218800
>Nightshade

>>44218800
>Mittens
Kat is pretty generic. Although so is Mittens. Mittens are warm though so they're better.

>>44219520
I don't think its actually sapient.

Its mimicking its owners emotional state in life, it can portray emotions but not actual conversation or thought, I think at least.

>>44218931
Mittens for life

>>44219644
Correct. The shadow both is and isn't part of Brianna; it is more related to her than the death it was imprinted from.

Fetch's creation as an independant being was informed and defined by Brianna's unconscious thoughts and desires; in particular, Fetch comes from that part of her that loves fairy tales, that dreamed of being a knight in shining armor and vanquishing evil, that casts hope into the teeth of despair and laughs its righteousness in the face of base villainy. Fetch is the knight a little girl, in a warm bed with a loving voice reading from the book, always imagined herself being.

Our unnamed shadow instead imprints the feelings associated with the death, drawing on them as strength and to characterize its emotions and behaviors, especially in the absence of orders. It has feelings but not really /thoughts/, as such. Shadows are often so useful in battle because the emotions they reflect and embody from their owners are combatative emotions, but here we have one also colored by lust, by shame, by pride, by fury.

In point of fact, you've made Fetch's mute, obedient opposite.

I think this is like when we were naming Verve. Names are - as Grandpa la Croix taught Bri - not necromancy, but they're damn sure magical. '

So as such:

>Hunter, unless Mittens is going to win out, in which case, Kat.

>>44219800
Our companions are going to be watching our shadow to read our emotions, aren't they...?

>Kat
Even this might be a bit too 'cute' but I can see the desire for Brianna to have a nod to light-heartedness.

But this thing isn't Kelly, it's Brianna's minion to care for as she has all the other minions she's created. It seems very out of character for her to give one a derogatory name, no matter where it came from.

>Mittens
Why are people saying it's cruel? It's literally just a name.

>>44218800
How about Slink?

>>44219894
Well, we can do the same thing with Nathan. His shadow always quivers and reacts when he feels stressed or upset, so he'll probably be even more perceptive when it comes to how Brianna feels.

Votes called, to a narrow victory for Kat.

Also, a reminder: votes not greentexted won't be counted.

>>44219935
Because we're naming the poor thing after a pet cat. It's already fucked up enough from having a bunch of fucking /undead chickens/ burst in on it having sex, shoot it in the ass, and then run rings around it, taunting it all the while.

>>44220001
The shadow isn't the demon we killed, just like a sword isn't a mineshaft. We got the raw materials to make the shadow from the demon, but it's not the demon.

>>44220152
But the emotional content is directly drawn from the demon catgirl's death. And besides, where's the intimidation factor in 'Mittens, have at them!'?

>>44220152
Probably because something something death is a very powerful magical event of transmution, where something goes from a living state to a nonliving state and can be tapped for power. Add additional bullshit fluff words as needed.

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>>44218800
"Your name is Kat," you decide at last. "Should do. Simple. Homey."

The shadow nods; it clings to your ankles, much as a normal shadow would, while you exit the tent. Only its hands still being in its pockets betrays its new state.

Well, that and the fucking ears and tail.

Amy's covered in enough blood to fill a bathtub. Nathan is wiping Verve's blade on the rapidly-melting corpse of the oni; you catch a glimpse of misshapen bones before it fades to dust. Nathan looks up at your expression, then down at your bleeding hand.

Right. The silver. It's useless now.

You let the bloodied, rotten metal fall to the ground. Some of the shards are embedded in your skin, and it takes a long, silent moment for them to fall, one at a time, into the small pile next to you.

Plink.

Plink.

Plink.

"Brianna," Nathan says quietly. "Are you okay?"

Kat peels from your ankles. You watch, with a sense of curious detachment, as it throws itself into the arms of Nathan's shadow and clings desperately to it, shaking, stiff-tailed, and small.

> No
> I'm fine
> We need to report

>>44220318
>> We need to report

> We need to report

>>44220318
>Not really, but there's not much time, is there?

That's a demonic alter in the tent right? we can smash the chains there

>>44220358
No. She just got sick of scrubbing blood out of her bedding whenever she wanted to fuck.

>>44220318
>> We need to report
Business time, breakdowns later.

>>44220358
Double-check first, see if it's a demonic altar or just a demonic-looking altar.

>>44220318
> No
> We need to report

>>44220318
> No
Because really, we're not okay.

>>44220318
Bri is definitely not okay, considering she never actually wanted to create a shadow.
>No

We also need to find some time to have a heart-to-heart with Nathan.

>>44220318
> No
We should be honest.

>>44220318

> No

>> We need to report

We're really fucked in the head aren't we.

>>44220318
>> No
>> We need to report
But it was certainly....interesting....to see a chicken take down a demon.

>>44220318
> I'm fine
> We need to report
You do the job in front of you first. You can cry later.

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>>44220479
Truly she is a...

Fowl necromancer.

> No
> We need to report

>>44220515
YEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Hey guys, what if we started a cock fighting ring as a front for building an undead army, and had people gamble with life force!

It'd be the greatest scheme the world has ever seen.

We could be like that guy who tried to start a skeever apocalypse.
This leads to zombie chicken armies

>>44220515
Vox no

>>44220515
GET OFF THE STAGE!

>>44220515
puns: you know necromancers are down in the dumps when puns are the only things keeping them sane.

>>44220621
>cock fighting ring
>metal talons
>poison quills
dude no, if we did that it would be too awesome to stop before we go too far You can't do it man, you just can't.

>>44220679
Also you could use your winnings and the dead chickens from the fight to make more undead chickens, and gradually build up a glorious undead chicken empire

>>44220722
DONT DO IT BRAH, YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT. I WONT HOLD YOUR BEER

>>44220318
> No
but
> We need to report

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>>44220318
> We need to report

>>44220318
>We need to report
>>44220722
It's too awesome. It should be a down-time regular activity.

Vox you alive?

>>44221185
The real life demon got me. Calling, will write momentarily.

>>44221185
No but his smoked impersonator is, allow me to continue where he left off!


Writing

>>44221233
>>44221231
Damn it!

>>44221233
Pfft. Can we eat you on bagels with cream cheese now, then?

>>44221582
Kinky.

>>44221582
I like this plan.

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>>44220318
You're silent for a long, long minute, with the blood dripping from your hand.

"No," you admit at last. Fetch gives you a concerned look and hands you his tiny, slightly scorched helmet. You squat down and put it back on his head. "...You're a good knight, Fetch. I'll fix your helmet later."

Fetch chirps and rubs your hand with his head before running over to Amy. River comes back from talking to the mercenaries; a spectral cowl covers her head and conceals her face, with only her pointed ears showing.

"They took some persuading," she notes. "But they'll leave. The ghost - Robert - gave them directions...sis, you alright?"

Something childish in your heart does a little backflip, and you smile in spite of yourself. "Nah. But we've got places to be. People to report to."

"Bri..." Nathan trails off, not sure what to say.

"We've got a job to do, Nate," you tell the Hero. You hold his gaze; it's hard to handle the sympathy in it, but you owe him that much, at least. "I promise. Later we can all sit down, and I'll drink too much, and we can hash it out."

"No drinking," Amy says firmly. "You'll set a bad example for you sister."

You see River's ears go red enough to light fires with, and you chuckle in your weary throat. "Okay. No drinking. But we still have to head back."

On the way back, you listen to Fetch and Amy have an extended conversation in bird speak. At the end of it, Amy scoops Fetch up and puts him on her head, where he settles in with great dignity.

You're glad they've become friends.

I can't wait for the moment Bri snaps.

>>44221714
That will be a truly terrifying day

>>44221714
>instantly killed by Lora

>>44221655
AmyxFetch OTP GOAT
>>44221714
Shush anon. I want to see her snap too, but in a different way than you're probably thinking.
The kind of way that has blubbering, intense character bonding, and cuddling.

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>>44221655
Making that shadow took it out of you, and it shows by the time you get back to the family shrine; Nathan supports you while you walk, radiating warmth and compassion. Or maybe that's just his shadow carrying yours. You're not sure.

Why does everything seem so gray?

This time it's Aria waiting up at the gates, with her arms folded, and they don't open up for you. She stares down at you in silent challenge and waits for you to speak.

> Job's done. We need to discuss strategy.
> Let me in. We need to talk.
> A la Croix has come to pay her respects to the family.
> You know what, fuck you. Fuck your attitude. Fuck your condescension. I went bending over fucking backwards to not have to do this but if you're gonna be like that, /fine/. Amy, shove that feather up her ass until she coughs it, and if I hear anything other than 'Yes mistress, how may I please you?', hit her.

>>44221655

>Fetch hands you his helmet
>hands

WHAT KIND OF ABOMINATION HAVE WE CREATED?!

>>44221770
I agree.

>>44221777
>You know what, fuck you. Fuck your attitude. Fuck your condescension. I went bending over fucking backwards to not have to do this but if you're gonna be like that, /fine/. Amy, shove that feather up her ass until she coughs it, and if I hear anything other than 'Yes mistress, how may I please you?', hit her.
Screw this bitch.

>>44221777
Flatly say:
> A la Croix has come to pay her respects to the family.

And then, if she doesn't let us in:
> You know what, fuck you. Fuck your attitude. Fuck your condescension. I went bending over fucking backwards to not have to do this but if you're gonna be like that, /fine/. Amy, shove that feather up her ass until she coughs it, and if I hear anything other than 'Yes mistress, how may I please you?', hit her.

I am tired of these people.

>>44221780
With his beak, anon. With his beak.

...This might be the last update of the night, I dunno. I've kinda felt bad all day. A bit ill. Depressed. Getting worse as the day's gone along, for no real reason I can define.

Still gonna run for the next two days. Just. Maybe sleep will make me feel better. I'll let anon know before I hit bed. With the thread being this close to sage it might be best if I ride it to next thread.

>>44221780
One very clever with his claws.

>>44221777
Ooooohhhohohoho, I think we all know which option we're choosing. And for added effect, let's introduce her to Kat!
> You know what, fuck you. Fuck your attitude. Fuck your condescension. I went bending over fucking backwards to not have to do this but if you're gonna be like that, /fine/. Amy, shove that feather up her ass until she coughs it, and if I hear anything other than 'Yes mistress, how may I please you?', hit her.

>>44221801
>>44221777

This.

>>44221777
> Job's done. We need to discuss strategy.
We got rid of a bunch of merc for you? Are you not happy about that?

>>44221777
>Fuk you, fuk dis, fuk does things, fuk that vase, and fuk yo couch! Ima take a nap!

Flatly say:
> A la Croix has come to pay her respects to the family.

And then, if she doesn't let us in:
> You know what, fuck you. Fuck your attitude. Fuck your condescension. I went bending over fucking backwards to not have to do this but if you're gonna be like that, /fine/. Amy, shove that feather up her ass until she coughs it, and if I hear anything other than 'Yes mistress, how may I please you?', hit her.

>>44221777

Y͝o̢u͜ ͝kno̕ẁ whát,͜ fuc͏k ͡yo̕u.̵ ͡F̴uc͘k ͏youŗ ͘a̛t͜ti̧tude. ̷F̷uck̀ ͏yo҉ur͡ ̨çonde͞scens̸io҉n̷.̷ ́I̢ ͘we̴nt͘ ͜b̢e̵nd̨i̵ng͢ ́ov̢er ̨fuck̢iǹg͢ ͡b͡ąckẁar͝ds ̴to̢ ͡n̡o͢t ͘h͜avé t͞ò d̨o͞ ̀tḩi̕s̀ b͟u͜t͠ if ýou͞'̡r̕e̛ ̷gonna ̡b̧e҉ l͞i̷ke͞ ́t́hat, /̢fi̵ne̡/.̵ ́Ámy͟, ͝sh̛ov͘e that͘ f҉eat̕he͡r up h͟e͠r̛ ̶a͝śs ̡unt͘i҉l ͜sh͠e co̵ugh̀s it͏, ͏a̷n͝d ̀if͘ ̡I he̴ar ͟an̴yt̢hi͢ng̵ ̧othe҉r t͏han 'Ye͞s̨ m̧i̕st̸r̴e͜ss͢, ̧how may ̡I̴ p͢l̸e̕as̀e y͢o̵u?҉'͏,̧ ̵h͜it ͝her̶.͝


>Bri has gone stark raving mad

>>44221777
>Ignore her and call for her husband as if she wasn't there.

>>44221824>>44221807
Chocolate tends to help counter depression like that. So does enjoyable things.

>>44221777

Fucked up that comment badly.

>>44221807
...you need to be adding booze to your coffee. I recommend sambuca, or something else with a strong enough flavor you won't make it too string.

>>44221777
> You know what, fuck you. Fuck your attitude. Fuck your condescension. I went bending over fucking backwards to not have to do this but if you're gonna be like that, /fine/. Amy, shove that feather up her ass until she coughs it, and if I hear anything other than 'Yes mistress, how may I please you?', hit her.

We are so done with her shit right now.

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>>44221839
Ahaha, alcohol requires money, anon. Vox has no money. Vox has negative money. Vox is in fact so strapped for cash that Vox sometimes skips out on meals so he can afford his coffee.

TFW you're too broke to be addicted to more than one thing.

Agreeing with this course of action.

> A la Croix has come to pay her respects to the family.

And then, if she doesn't let us in:
> You know what, fuck you. Fuck your attitude. Fuck your condescension. I went bending over fucking backwards to not have to do this but if you're gonna be like that, /fine/. Amy, shove that feather up her ass until she coughs it, and if I hear anything other than 'Yes mistress, how may I please you?', hit her.

>>44221839
Alcohol is a depressant. It's kinda a bad idea to do that for this.

>>44221777
> A la Croix has come to pay her respects to the family.

>>44221777
>Job's done. We need to discuss strategy.
combined with
> A la Croix has come to pay her respects to the family.

>>44221850
Vox. I know how it is, I'm lucky if I have 80 at the end of the month with normal bills. And I need new tires and a new windshield. Sometimes you have to get that $6 bottle of rum though, because it's that or shoot yourself.

Votes called. Narrow victory for the combination action.

>>44221874
It also numbs the pain sometimes.

>>44221942
Well, the good news there is that I like living. It has all this existence and sensation and shit that appears to be hard to acquire when one is dead.

I appreciate the support though, anon.

>>44221958
Sometimes. Sometimes it just fucks you up. But eh. I'm kinda talking out my ass because the drunkest I've been is on three cups of spiked hot chocolate since the girl I was with wasn't restraining herself nearly as much and one of us needed to stay rational. Since, y'know, having sex on the beach ten feet from her grandparents would end badly.

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>>44221777
You whistle sharply, and your necromantic minions assemble around you; Fetch before you, his brothers to your sides, and Kat stretching out behind you, a long, thin slice of darkness that ripples and sways in the spectral breeze.

You lean on your cane and look up at Aria from beneath your hat.

"A la Croix has come to pay her respects to the family," you announce formally.

"If that's how you're going to play it, fine," Aria answers haughtily. "But the outsiders and the pretender la Croix stay outside."

You're about to open your mouth when you see an old man come hobbling in out of the side of your view, probably from the small stairwell at the wall. Aria turns, noticing him, and catches a backhanded slap across the face that hits so hard she goes spiralling to the stone.

"Petit merde!" the old man swears, making you choke back a surprised sound. "Of all the arrogant shit. You dare turn away guests? Here, in the home of the la Croix, you tell our allies that they are denied our hospitality?"

"She is -" Aria protests, and goes silent when she gets and oak cane right between her breasts.

"You may be elder here but I am still the eldest, girl," the old man says firmly. "You father would rise from his honorable grave to weep at such disgrace. You will apologize to your adopted cousin for your boorish behavior, and then you will discuss the news with our guests. Am I clear?"

"...Yes, grandfather."

"Good! If I hear of you staring down your nose at an adopted la Croix ever again, I will kill you to death, and then I will bury you in dung."

"...Damn," Nathan says slowly. "Can he be my dad?"

>>44221975

Seriously, if you can afford it, get some chocolate. It has chemicals that induce happiness. Literally fucks with your brain chemistry to make you happy.

There's a reason a lot of psychiatrists have Hershey's bars on hand.

>>44222105
>"I will kill you to death, and then I will bury you in dung."

That is awesome.

>>44222121
It does. Which really fucking sucks when you're depressed and too much chocolate gives you migraines. 'WHICH SHITTY OPTION DO I WANT?'.

>>44222121
Don't tell the guy who had his teeth fell out of his face mid thread to load up on the choco

>>44211691
IIRC early thread explanations, being undead draws in the power of Death by itself, so they use it to fuel stuff.

It sounds like pretty sweet deal, in that you won't run out of it in long-term; however it probably has limited short-term availability.

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>>44222105
"What does that phrase mean?" River asks you in a low murmur, while the gates open. She pulls back her ghostly hood, and it vanishes into wisps that fade quickly away.

You grin at the question. "It's what we call children born into the family that think it makes them better than people who were adopted into it, or married into it. There's, ah, a saying, where the family originated from in the ancient past - 'la petit morte', meaning literally 'the little death', but it actually means to orgasm."

River laughs and gives you an 'are you serious' look as you continue.

"So a child that bullies other la Croix because of their parentage or lack thereof is 'la petite merde' - 'the little shit'."

"That. That is the greatest thing I've ever heard."

"We have good ideas sometimes," you say modestly. The gates finish opening, and you lead your group inside, leaning on the oaken cane. Aria waits outside the cottage, looking genuinely contrite, and gestures quietly to River while the rest of you file in. The elf hangs back; the two begin talking in low voices, and you slip inside the cottage to give them some privacy.

After long minutes - you already have the rose hip tea on, as well as some food cooking in a pot on the fireplace because fuck it, you have a fire, eat while the eating is good - River opens the door and finds a seat on the bed next to Amy and Fetch, and Aria slips in after.

"Okay," the Rose cultist says softly. "Do you want the apology first, or business?"

> Apology
> Business
> "I could've been less confrontational too. It wasn't just you."

>>44222183
Coco powder (as in pure coco not hot chocolate mix) will do all the happy chemicals effect, you don't need the sugary stuff it's just the most pleasant way of getting it.
Also if you want the fully pharmaceutical option but don't want a prescription you can always get some saint johns wart tea.

>>44222197
>Business
>I really don't fucking care, and you won't either, when I tell you what Lisa is up to.

>>44222121
Well. Maybe some hot chocolate would do me some good. I don't like most kinds of chocolate - can't stand the flavor - but hot cocoa's okay.

Wonder if I can go for maximal laziness and do it in a coffee pot. Maybe the ex wife can offer advice on that, she's good with that kind of shit.

(There are advantages to ending your marriage on good terms. Life advice is one of them).

>>44222197
>> "I could've been less confrontational too. It wasn't just you."

Let's make peace. Then shove an angel feather up her ass if she's uppity.

>>44222105
This dude probably saw Elf La Croix with Robert in chains and a zombie army at he back as he listened to his grand daughter be a bitch. Yay horrible family history to the rescue!

>>44222197
> Business

>>44222197
> Business
Save the best for last.
I want to savour the emotions as time slowly passes. effortlessly announcing the apology.

>>44222197
> Apology
> "I could've been less confrontational too. It wasn't just you."
might as well clear the air before we get to the heavy shit.

>>44222197
> Business
We're not here because we like each other. We're here because we need to work together to kick Lisa's sorry ass. If River feels that she needs an apology, she has a right to it, but all Aria owes us is her help in this fight.

> "I could've been less confrontational too. It wasn't just you."

Followed by

> Apology

>>44220194
>intimidation factor
We have Sir Fetch the undead chicken. Our intimidation factor is of a definitely absurdist bent.

When we repair Fetch's helmet we need to add 2 little Demonic skull icons or upside crosses to keep track of his Demon banishments.

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Okay. So we can wrap this thread out and also have something to talk about besides me bitching (I'm sorry about that, it's just...been a bad time lately):

We're currently four threads into Part Two (CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU) and you've guided Brianna and her companions to accomplishing a major goal - to wit, you've eliminated a mercenary company and freed up the la Croix forces. How are we feeling about this part so far? The writing and/or characters?

I'm a bit worried that I might be getting whiplashy, but at the same time /life/ is whiplashy, and this entire affair has dredged up old, bad memories for Bri, of rough shit and needful work.

Thank you again for reading and participating!

>>44222197
>Business
>"I could've been less confrontational too. It wasn't just you."
No reason to drag out the drama.

>>44222420
I think it's going well. The perspective shifts are a nice touch, and I like the pace the story's been moving at.

>>44222420
I enjoyed it. Don't have much to say. Although I found it weird that Fetch was noticing the cat demon's "supple ass." More Fetch chapters pls

>>44222197
> Business

>>44222452
Much like him having insight into people, Fetch noting their qualities as potential mates comes from his ultimately human origins.

One's body might be more than a convenient skin sack to hold the soul, but the soul is more than just liquid that conforms to its vessel too.

>>44222420
Your writing is top notch, Vox.

Yes, Bri is having a hard time, but thats cool.

>>44221770
I, too, enjoy scenes in which people having rough times reach out for help when they need it most /and actually fucking get it/.

>>44222565
Those are good scenes. We need to take some downtime with Amy to just.. Be Bri, be HUMAN.

>>44222596
Nathan also has this talent, you know. He demonstrated it when he did the whole date thing like a sane adult.

>>44222629
Yes, but I'm fully in the Bird Camp unless we can go for a poly relationship, and you're not even sure if you're willing to try and go there yet.

>>44222629
But He isn't Amy

>>44222629
As much as I'd like to see more between the necromancer and the Hero, relationship votes on tg always favour lesbianism.

>>44222700
Huh. I wonder why that is. I mean, I like to think I've developed both of the folks lusting for Bri's butt region equally, or at least with good amounts of screen time and interaction.

Hrm...

>>44222729
because /tg/ wants the girl, whether they are acting from a male or female perspective.

>>44222700
If Nathan was the MC Bri is where votes would probably go.
>>44222729
Because most players are straight men and even if they stay IC they will find the girl cuter.

>>44222741
that said, I don't think I've ever seen shotacon from the female perspective in a quest before.

>>44222651
>>44222729
Besides my favoring Camp Bird, Nathan is being a little bit prickly right now. Hard not to see his wanting to be left alone to deal with things on his own as both obviously rendering it unfair to lean on him and him shutting himself off from us. Amy is, at present, simply more accessible for that kind of support, in addition to her obvious tendencies to be so (see: her in Meadow's hospital, with the people she rescued).

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NEW THREAD:

>>44222752
>>44222752
>>44222752
>>44222752

>>44222197
>Business.
We don't have the luxury of time to waste bickering. Lisa and her nasty minions need to go down, pronto.

We also need to contact the Keepers and let them know what's up. They might even have information on the spear.

>>44222420
I, for one, love the interactions between the characters. You've handled the relationships between the three of them maturely (though I do have a small gripe about just how quickly things have escalated in that arena - think about how long they've even known each other).

Also, Sir Fetch is the hot mothercluckin' roast. Sizzlin' man, sizzlin'.