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/tg/ - Traditional Games

Welcome one and all to Star Wars A New Quest #4 Avoiding Prison Showers edition

Firstly a big thank you to anon who archived (even though you did it wrong senpai)

New image due to old thread still being up.

I doubt 9am GMT is a good starting time, but i'm going for it anyway.

Where we last left off, you had a hard time in prison, but then you'd met up with the captured padawans you once absolutely destroyed, inside the prison cantina, and started your discussion of why they shouldn't just hurt you.

And this is where the tale resumes.

new qm twitter: twitter.com/WynautQM
previous threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Star%20Wars%20Murderhobo%20Edition%20Quest

You think, and prepare what they want to hear, and what they need to hear.

"Because I'm your best hope of getting out of here without being indoctrinated into sith rape machines, or getting destroyed by these brutes.
Also because as much as I hate to admit, right now I hate the sith a tad more than I dislike the Jedi.
Plus I'll help you get your sabers back."

They slowly consider your proposal, and nod along. "Alright, so what's your plan then?"

You explain that you want to all focus on one shock collar, i.e, yours first since it's your plan, and break the limiter, and once that's done, you can break the limiters on their collars. From there we'll break the shock mechanisms, start a fight, get everyone electrocuted apart from us, pretend to be electrocuted, and when they come to scoop us up, we take them out, disable all the shock collars, and ride the wave of riot out of here

They want to argue about your limiter being disable first, but they never though of it first, so they'd be at square 0 without you, meaning they begrudgingly agree.

You all focus on your collar, navigating through it, and with a PING the limiter is disabled, and you feel your energy slowly return to you.

You begin working on the padawans' collars, and in a few short minutes you're all out.

"Hey crowd!" Shouts a random balding guard on an overlooking ledge, "Disperse or take a seat where we can see what you're doing"

You're considering deviating from the plan, when you don't have to, as the lights go out.

A power shortage? And then the lights go back on again, and on and off, and wookie rave music starts.

Oh no.

All the locked doors open and the guards' controllers stop working, and when realising this after failing to start a lock-down, run.
Rolled 21, 60 - 20 = 61 (2d100 - 20)


You go the way that the least amount of people are going as not to get stuck in the crowds, plus you know which path the main force of the riot squad is going to be, and you're going around them.

After a while you come across two riot troopers in big black armour and helmets with shields and electro staves, discussing how thankful they are that they got the easy job away from the main force.

"I'm just saying Bill, consider it a blessing in disguise, if we fucked up again we'd lose our pension"

"Yeah, but the speakers are too loud here, and this shite music in time with the flashing lights is really getting to me."

"What? You don't like wookie techno? You're a nerfherder, not a true patrician like me Bill, I love all music"

"Shut the fuck up and pay attention Frank" he says turning to you and your apprentices in deer eyed shock.

Oh great, they're in the way.

>what do? talk? spar? parr? run far? do whatever you want, the galazy's your oyster?
>whatever you do roll a 2d100 for it
Good morning bruhv, just lett me read your posts
Morning to you too bruv.
Rolled 22, 64 = 86 (2d100)

Force-push them against each other before they have the chance to react, then rush them with the jedi.
Rolled 76, 23 = 99 (2d100)

force-charge them w/ the kids
Rolled 53, 3 = 56 (2d100)

>these rollerinos
71 for you and 64 for the padawans VS 21 for bill and 41 for frank.
good success

The guard on the left that sees you first, tries to react, but is hit by his friend flying into him, however neither are dropped.

While they try to recover though, the padawans rush them, two to a guard, and take them to the ground non lethally with knockout blows, before two take an electro staff, and two take a shield each.

Well that went well, and though don't need to be well armed, it would help, for now you can just order them around like a little jedi master.

Now you've gotten past them, you can decide your next route. There's a vent which leads to the ventitalation system on the roof, a sign pointing out a route to the armoury, warden's office, reactor room, and entrance.

>what do and where go? along with a 2d100
Rolled 56, 72 = 128 (2d100)

Oh boy, murderhobo quest!
The amoury
Rolled 49, 67 = 116 (2d100)

Armory I guess, probably where our stuff is at right?
We've been less murderhoboy of late, but weaponuru getto
Rolled 20, 100 = 120 (2d100)

frogot roll
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>nat 100
Nice indeed

You decide that it's probably a good idea to have more than just 4 half equipped students against whatever prisoners or riot armies you run into, and head to the armory.

While there you don't find much for yourself way of defense, but the padawans outnumber you, and thus find stuff 4 times as fast, bringing prison guard disguises, riot armor, more staffs and shields, and even some vibro swords.

You prepare yourself for the best plan you can think of. Dressing up the two male padawans in riot gear, and the two females in standard guard gear, while you yourself remain dressed as a prisoner, since they could bluff it they've captured you and are moving you somewhere secure. Though you still have a small blaster concealed on you incase things go wrong.

Three padawans are ready to leave, but one is frozen in place, looking at a pile of scrap in the adjoining room.

"Athena? Get you and your pink hand over here, we're going!"

But she doesn't respond, instead she just saunters in and starts diving through the scrap letting the force be her guide, and doesn't find anything.

So instead she stars meditation, and while the other padawans just look confused, you can feel the force emanating from where she is.

Out from the pile of scrap comes several pieces of machinery, circuits, and finally an old wooden saber hilt.

They combine together in midair, and form a mishmash saber, but one that truly belongs with it's new owner.

It extends into a short white blade, and a few practice swings are had before she turns it off and pockets it.

"Sorry about the wait, shall we be off?" She says to a chorus of silence and blank faces.

She's right actually this is a timed operation.

>Where go now?
The reactor room
The Warden's Office, gotta shee if he's got cool stuffs
Also, nice work Athena, she's pretty skilled... for a jedi
Rolled 65 (1d100)

They're all pretty skilled, but yeah, the will of the force works in mysterious ways.
Two different votes, and the warden's room is closer, and i assume reactor room since you wanna blow it up which you can't do before looting obviously

They're no longer the padawans you met on Korriban that's for sure, they've changed a lot in a few days.

But they're still undisciplined.

"We're going, let's check out the warden's office, see if there's any cool shit there"

They are apprehensive as ever, but trust your judgement, and follow you.

The way there is uneventful, and without a hitch, and once you get in there.

In the office though, there's some goodies.

In his desk are;
1 Engraved Blaster
Family Photos
various keycards
A work holopad
A personal holopad
A prototype three handed artillery weapon called a "force cannon" according to the manual with it, the power source to fire it being in the reactor room
A fancy hat

>What do you take? Then where do you go? also roll1d100 with your choice
Rolled 1 (1d100)

The hat, the blaster, the artillery weapon, the keycards and the work holopad
try to use it to find where our shit's being held.
Rolled 4 (1d100)

1 Engraved Blaster
various keycards
A work holopad
A personal holopad
A prototype three handed artillery weapon called a "force cannon" according to the manual with it, the power source to fire it being in the reactor room
A fancy hat
File: 1421541430555.gif (820 KB, 444x360)
820 KB
820 KB GIF
You know your shit is in the place where you get registered, in a little box on a shelf with your name on it.

Also that fuckin roll

You better hope the next rolls are better.
Rolled 33 (1d100)

this but without that roll

jesus christ
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7 KB
Rolled 43 (1d100)

i hate to see the next roll

that's fine.
i'm fine.

best of three, so 33 it is.

It's more a random encounter roll than an action roll, but it gauges how difficult the random encounter will be to pass so,

You take everything that isn't nailed down (except for the family photos) and skedaddle the fuck out of there.

Well, you try, until someone gets force pushed through the door and flies onto the desk and quickly bolts right up brushing themselves off.

Looking through the doorway you see no one, guess whoever threw them in here ran off.

"Sorry for the intrusion Mister Wardeeeen? What's going on here?" they shout raising their saber- Oh fuck special forces, "Why are you moving that weapon out of here when that prisoner is priority number one? Why haven't you reported in?"

Well this is a nice fuck your greedy arse has gotten you in.

>what do? something yourself? nudge the jedi to do something? and if so what?
>also roll1d100 with whatever choice you write in
Rolled 26 (1d100)

Use the engraved blaster and shoot down these guys
Drawing and shooting and hitting a wary special forces saber wielder witha blaster... on a roll of 26...

>my fucking face when

more rolls/votes please
Rolled 28 (1d100)

Rolling to shoot the guys. probably worse but eh.
one more roll for the best of three
no third roll? okay, fail it is.

You quickly pull the engraved blaster and fire a shot which is easily deflected, and with her spare hand attempts to force pull your blaster away, but when she does try it, you pull the concealed blaster and shoot her force hand, to slightly chipping the armour.

You try to fire more, but how many shots do you expect from some shitty holdout blaster found in the confiscated section?

"Well that wasn't a good idea" she says force choking you, "you're going to a different prison, this time one that's nothing but chains and shackles"

She unleashes lightning into you, and you drop down seizuring, being helped out by two padawans.

The padawan with the saber attempts to engage and is caught in a duel with the special forces officer, you know she'll probably lose eventually, but it's a good distraction for now-

What was that noise?

You look to your left, and see the only apprentice you haven't spoken to you yet, but one witha cybernetic hand nonetheless, fire the force cannon.

You fucking what m8?

Everyone in the room has the exact same expression on their face. Fear.


Oh yeah, ti doesn't have a power source-

Then why is the wielding padawan screaming? probably because he just got nearly completely sucked dry of force to fire the weapon.

So the force cannon runs on force, good to know.

It's also good to know that the shot is not a force blast like when it has a magazine in it, but more of an exploding at a 180 degrees angle of the barrel, blasting everyone in the room onto the ground or into the walls. Or through them in the special forces officers' case.

You stand up barely and add another red saber to your collection (hitting a total of ten, five more until an unlockable is reached!) and relegate the two injured padwans who were holding you to now hold the two unconscious padawans while you lead the way since you're the least injured (still quite a bit) and the most skilled. you also pick up the engraved blaster again to use with the red saber, and head out.

>where to? still the reactor room or elsewhere? your stuff near the entrance? the roof?
Is someone big running or something?
3 peeps to 0 in the space of an hour, shieet.
Reactor. Just woke up matey relax.
Good morning bruv, and I'm relaxed lad, shitposting in a general and watching ainsley harriot.

You lead your rogue squadron towards the reactor room, and tell the padawans to wait by the door as you peek around the corner.

There are two riot guards chatting away, blasters no longer set to stun in their hands, and tazer shields on their arm.

Guess they want to guard the reactor decently if they're risking a worse jailbreak by segmenting off guards.

On the table next to them you notice a weird cuboid, and behind them is a control panel with loads of numbers, and a closed door next to it.

>what do with 1d100
Rolled 92 (1d100)

The four Jedi walk in distract the guards. Hopefully get behind one or both of them then you walk around the corner and they take them out with your help.
Two of the jedi are unconscious, but the other two can do that.

writing, and oh look, a decent roll for once.
No one's at 100%, so you decide that the best way to take these out is with a surprise attack.

You rest the two knocked out jedi against the wall, and send the two fresher ones in.

"Help," they moan out "Rioters, beat... us" falling over

The guards look at the two jedi resting face first on the ground to their side, turning their back to the doorway you're in.

Stealthily, but with a little channeling of the ghostly gazelle, you lift off their riot helmets mid sprint and double dropkick them, one foot in the back off each one's head sending them flying into the wall.

Checking to see if they're KO'd, you help the jedi up and bring in the ones resting on the wall outside into the reactor room.

Now you're in here,

>What do?
Take ones Armour and shut down the reactor.
Enough wearing a prisoner outfit, you're putting on one of their riot suits, and spend a short while getting changed.
The one conscious female Jedi is blushing a little at your scrawny rat bod since you're now PRISON JACKED, but the male just huffs.

"When are we getting out of here? We should've escaped long ago!"

"calm down kid, your order teaches you patience, now use it" you say smirking. He'd start under normal circumstances, but everyone's still a little fucked up.

You get to work on the security console and quickly hack it to set the reactor to stop working and... self destruct? Oh yeah you didn't have the key-card needed to shut it down normally so you guess something got triggered.

>what do? keep exploring reactor room or elsewhere, or leave the prison, and which way would you leave, through the roof, or through the entrance where your stuff should be?
Get our stuff then run like hell.
You tell the jedi to carry their own and make haste, since the need to get out of here has increased by tenfold, you start channeling the ghostly gazelle to avoid and quickly dispatch of guards you run into with blaster fire and saber strikes.

Getting to the storage room for prisoner items, you find that your box is empty except for a commlink and a note saying "call me when here - from gareth"

Fuckers, well at least the jedi have got their shit back.

You use the comm left over and phone the only contact, which when asnwered is revealed to be Glenda.

"You didn't think we'd just leave you here to rot did you?" she says in her usual jovial tone

"I had everything under control"

"I'm sure you did, now listen, we've got your shit, we'll meet you now" and the comm clicks off

Suddenly you feel a danger spike coming from the left, but there's a wall to your left?

>what do and roll 1d100
Rolled 83 (1d100)

Move!!!! Dodge dip duck and dodge!!

Going out for breakfast in a little so your losing me.
Aight, I waited two hours I can wait some more.
just gives me time to make the quality better, which I won't.

Your danger sense doesn't lie to you, so when the padawan next you just looks at the wall like,

"what the fuck danger sense, it's a fucking cream wall, it's not gonna hurt me" you grab her around the waist, and before she can react, you jump as far back as you can as quick as you can, just in time to avoid the wall exploding into debris and dust.

When the dust finally settles, you can see the boarding ramp of the mando ship, with everyone but Gareth on the boarding ramp.

"Come aboard one and all, any friend of Kyran is a friend of mine!" and you jump aboard with the 3 padawan and one unconscious padawan, and fly away, just to see place explode in blue flame. fancy.

"First things first, a hug!" and glenda jumps and bearhugs you where it hurts, fucking mandos.

"next things, next your stuff" she says dropping your suitcase at your feet, along with a plastic baggy filled with your things from the police station.

"Well we've already taken the hat off to our cleint and gotten megapaid for it, 50,000 credits being your share including what we took from the bank, and we still have yet to launder the physical assets we stole. But for now, the galaxy's our oyster!"

The jedi want to go to the jedi temple/jedi academy and report in, while the mandos don't mind where they go as long as there's good drink and a promise of work.

>where go and what do on the hyperspace journey there?
Shit post on Sith41chan that th Ghostly Gaselle has escaped!! And Kyran is not the Gazelle. No way a scrub like him could be the gazelle. Fastest route but we are not getting of the ship.
Go to the jedi academy and let's do some work in the underworld of that planet.
Give them the saber on the condition they all add us on spacebook and share our posts to everyone they know.
Piss and then Writing
You decide to spend a few hours shitposting on various image sites, including your normal dumping grounds Sith41chan and Sith42chan, mostly about the state of the mpire that they can't even keep a prison on endor not blowing up.

Also that the ghostly gazelle has escape, but that despite it being proved, Kyran Ollis is not the ghostly gazelle in legends, but he is that epic juggler and you should totally add him on spacebook and share his shit.

All the padawans are now in the living area of the ship, sleeping on the sofas or mattresses on the floor for now since they don't have rooms.

When you approach, the one knocked out by his own force cannon blast thanks you first

"Thanks for getting us out, and taking care of us and that"

"eh, it's whatever man"

"uhm, okay"

So giving their lightsabers back, it saddens you to do this, but still,

they look real thankful to get them back. The dual blade kid you fought taking back both his blue sabers, the other guy taking his green saber, the reluctant female you mind crushed to get her saber taking back her orange saber with a tug as if to say "you aren't doing me a solid, this was mine to start with" and now all you have left from them is a yellow saber.

You offer it to athena but she declines it.

"I never liked yellow, I never liked the hilt, it wasn't even a crystal I had to go through a trial to get, it was a found one.
That wasn't my real lightsaber, this one is"

Ugh, sure. You guess she doesn't want to dual wield. At least you get to keep a saber from them as a memento.


You spend a week getting extra prison jacked and get to know the crew and padawans better, the dual blade arrogant fighter called Jaysun, the meeker guy who ko'd himself and Athena being called Symoen, and the final girl who snatched her saber back being called Trayce.

You feel your physicality getting stronger all the time, especially with the stupidly high mando gravity settings on this ship.

You also make sure everyone on the sip (including gareth) adds you on spacebook

Lots of choices post, it's effort but we have to do it

You finally land on Coruscant, and step off the ship onto fresh ground. Feels great to have dirt beneath your footwear.

talking of clothes,
>what are you wearing?
You own the heist outfit which is smart civillian wear, a set of riot gear, a fancy hat, an apparently mandolarian helm, your trusty bounty hunter outfit, unfortunately you've lost the gimpsuit but the way Gareth squeaks while walking around, you think you wouldn't wear it even if you found it. You can always get new clothes when out.

You have one concealed blaster holster, and can put either a plain high capacity mid rate blaster, your .66 6 shot low rate handblaster, or your new engraved blaster which you don't know the stats of, with you.
>which one if one at all

You can also take two sabers with you, along with your bowie knife,
Pink dueling dildo saber, purple jedi saber, yellow jedi saber, two red grey hilted sabers, and one red black and white ornamental saber
>what do you take?

You could also decide what the character looks like cos all we know is that he's a skinny human male but that's just choice


You consider going with the Jedi who want you there to report in to the temple, but the mandos want drink now and want you to have the first drink with the, mind you, you also want to check out the crime scene, get a feel for work

>where go and what do where going?
My connection died, let me catch up
>high gravity trainning
We DBZ now
i started the clone wars cartoon, but I heard anakin's voice, and turned it off.
I'll watch it at some point

And yeah bruv, DBZ mando prison jacked now, though only a week's worth.
Could we put our regular bounty hunter gear with some of the riot protection, as well as the mando helmet.

Take the .66 blaster, we should test out the engraved one later on.

Take the purple and yellow sabers..

How about brown hair and green eyes, pale from all that time spent shitposting from his basement, 7.5/10 face but dose eyes tho.
Also, is he still scrawny after the training?
Oh ok that answers it, one month is only very little gains.

Anyway, we should probably ask any of our crew if they have any plans down here. We could always go find a new job or maybe find a pod racing contest (hahah. No) or hang out with the jedi and try to find out if theres some secret jedi web with their training secrets and tutorial videos. Or hust holocrons
Scrawny+1, and with more toning now due to mando's not letting you shitpost all day.

Purp and yellow, aight, respect that. 66, okay.

Your standard bounty hunter gear is just slightly padded loose or tight where you need it smuggler gear, but yeah you appropriate parts of the riot gear padding for extra defense losing a little bit of maneuverability.

Also yeah, no sun in the underworld so pretty pale, green shiny eyes is fancy so yeah, 7.5/10, pretty enough when you need it but bland enough to not stick out of a crowd.

The mandos plan to get extremely pissed with their share of the loot and live in luxury for a bit, and then when it slows, launder the rest of the goods, then luxury a bit more, then working only when they run out of money or it's a job with a fight.

No pod racing, but there are similar racing events that aren't as deadly.

You could always explore and find this shit.

Some secret jedi web? you've already found most of it on the surface though, and the shit is really restricted for in person only normally, maybe, they are going to report in to the council right the second you tell them whether you're going with them or not so, you could always try at the temple or once they're done there get them to take you to the academy for teachings, even if it's unofficial, they do kinda owe you.
Eh go with them to the academy. Let's see how it compares to the sith one, and what kind of porn funds their endeavor.
"and what kind of porn funds their endeavor" kek

I love how Kyran's view on jedi is so twisted that his first thought about them is that

You decide fuck it, where's the harm in visiting the jedi templed?

Apart from the fact you killed a jedi, and assaulted 4 padawans. but you did break said padawans out of prison, so all's forgiven right? exactly.

"Yeah, take me to the meeting then, i'll go with"

"Yeah if you can keep up that is!" They say bounding off in the direction of that giant temple, "See you there!"

Time for a lesson in humility you guess, you think Ghostly Gazelling past them.

By the time they get there you'd already sent the Togrutan Master you met over comm on korriban a winkyface and nothing else on spacebook since she's there master, she'll be there on the report in.

They arrive sweating and tired, "Let's... Let's just get this over with" they whine "K" you reply.

"Now we're going to go in an talk to the masters, wait out here, and when the door opens, come in, bow, and let us talk unless you're addressed"


"okay, see you on the other side then" Athena says leading her squad in.

>So how will you act? Pranks and jokes? Humble? Arrogant? flirty? like you don't give a fuck? sarcastic? like you actually care? Strong and silent?

>Also what specific questions will you ask and what specific things will you say?

also: mention the jedi master you killed or no?
also: mention you're the ghostly gazelle/lightsaber guy or no?
Don't mention anything let them and we react. Put up a stoic and serious facade for fun, and to confuse them
When the door finally opens after a few minutes, you stroll as serious as you've ever been, you feel like a man, not that you let your glee at their reactions visible.

Hiding emotion is necessary for someone in your line of work.

The start is pretty uneventful, mostly just fully detailing out the entire mission, you're just there to confirm the part about yourself you guess. and finally, it comes up.

"And that's when this man fell from the ceiling, in front of us, shouting greetings and stating his intentions and calling himself the 'Great detective, gazelle, bounty hunter, and force warrior extraordinaire' "

You struggle to keep you solid composure, but manage to keep not even a hint of a smirk escaping

When we enquired his intentions he stated "I don't really care about the jedi or the sith, I mostly just want to have fun!" and that he thought it would be funny if he dropped down while we were talking about him.

"What happened next?" some random long necked albino weirdo alien asked

"Well, due to his dark side aura, we refused to believe in and Master issued the command to detain him"


"We tried, but,"

At this point the three hit by the saber throw all showcase their cybernetic hands off

"This happened. He then engaged Jaysun in single combat defeating him, and hitting him with some kind of force power he later hit Trayce with"

"What power was this?"

Trayce speaks up

"It was something that put us to sleep, but not painlessly, by the force, not painlessly at all, I seizured for at least 5 seconds before falling into unconsciousness"

"That sounds horriffic, i've never heard of a force power like that"

The tiniest hint of a smirk breaks out of pride and the masters' demeanours change, either feeling your change or just nervous at the recanting of how bad it is

"well, yeah, he does it, and it's not pleasant" she says shivering.

"Well, why did he spare you?"

"master begged him to spare us, and his demands were simple, not that we had a choice"

"and his demands?"

Their master shuffles a bit in her throne chair thingy, obviously feeling awkward.

"That master add him on spacebook, and when she did, he took our lightsabers and left us"

"that's all?"

"well, he did lecture our master and how she shouldn't send her students against an unkown threat if she wants us to live, but yes, that's it"

Well this has been eventful, you've got 9 jedi masters gazing at you, all judgingly.

You don't know whether to ghostly gazelle out the window or tell a joke to break the ice, this is uncharted territory.

"And you" Some brown jedi asks "Is all this true?"

You ponder his question for a moment, and stare him down. The fuck does he mean by that?

"Of course it's true, why would I waste my time standing here with a fake story?"

"U-um i suppose that's true"

"Yes it's true, I took out your for padawan and then broke them out of prison"

"... Okay, well do you have anything to add or ask of us?"

>what do/say/ask bruv?
>Well, I am not really sure, what do you guys think about this whole thing?
>Maybe tell me why you guys wave your hand at people? When I try it all I get is wookie techno in their heads
>why do you guys and the sith not get along? Is it a... Difference in "tastes"? *cough cough*
>Do you guys have dental care?
>Any training facilities I can go have a go at?
Also ask if they have any jobs, bounty hunter yadda yadda
"Why do I have to say or ask? Fuck if I know" Looks like we're being a prick again, reall ca't help it with these jedi scum though, "Why do you guys and the Sith not get along? Is it a... Difference in "tastes"? *cough cough*"

Only one person in the room laughs, a master on the far left in a seat that doesn't fit him quite properly, he must be the replacement for the master you killed, and he's a massive junkie by the looks of his glazed eyes.

"What i'm essentially asking is why do you hate the sith? is it for reasons unknown to me or is it because you do a different kind of porn to fund your organisation, what kind of smut do you do anyway here? And can I apply, and if not, i'll take any jobs you have available."

That master on the far left has basically force bubbled his own head to stop his ear rupturing laughter stopping the meeting.

"Firstly, the jedi don't do that kind of flith" buzzkill, "and it's because they are of the evil dark side and we're of the good light side" arrogant cunts, "and no jobs as of right now, maybe int he future"

"Do the jedi have dental? Because that's real important to me since because sith breath is on par witha hutt's vagina when it comes to stench"

"Thank you for the colourful analogy, and for enrolled students, which you are way to dark and old to do by the way, we do have dental" Damn, no dental for you.

"What do you lot think?"

"Well, you could do what you've done to everyone you've met so far, demand their spacebook adds" Athena says winking, "Though i'm sure some in this room would like to see you spar or demonstrate your skills to gauge your strength"

"Yes" a master interjects, we'd love to see what you can do, so you're welcome to train whenever.

"Hmm maybe, I do kind of want to know why that hand thing won't work"

The brown jedi from earlier speaks up "What hand thing?"

"That thing you do when you wave your hand at people and they do whatever you say? Whenever i try that I jsut get wookie techno"

"Oh the mind trick? What do you mean wookie techno?"

"oh i'll show you" you say focusing and waving your hand at Jaysun. he sees it coming and you can feel the fear and pain as he tenses and drops to his knees, driving his face into his hands
"You fracking nerfherder cunt!" He screams out in pure pain

"Oh, normally that knocks someone out, I guess your little padawan has grown quite a bit since the last time I hit him with that. Nice work Jaysun."

"Fuck you shithead!"

"That's nice you say" turning to the masters, 8/9 now standing and the brown one having drawn a saber and screaming at you to back away from him while advancing inbetween you two.

>What do? Put a 1d100 with your option.
What? I literally don't know what's wrong with it, isnt that how that power works?
Jesus if you guys want to complain at least make some decent manuals available
Jesus you guys are more trigger happy than I am!
>put your hands in the air like you a nigger seeing the popo
While Im confident in our mary sue I don't want to start a fight in the middle o the jedi academy

Also stop wookie technoing him, maybe give him twilek tongue-job feels?
Rolled 38 (1d100)

Forgot daissu
Rolled 83 (1d100)

Aaaaaaah fuck you dice gods
One more to get the caballistic trio.

Also athena is such a cheeky little trollop, should poke her in space book, and out.
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>put your hands in the air like you a nigger seeing the popo
holy kek m8

>While Im confident in our mary sue I don't want to start a fight in the middle o the jedi academy
yeaaaaaah, that's kinda 8 maybe 9 masters at once, unless you employ movement, human shields, and dirty tricks, you won't get through one let alone them all.

nice roll


also adding my own little thing i thought was funny based on what you said
That's cool, kek
"Hands up don't stab!" You start shouting repeatedly until he stops inching forward, "Now that's more like it, now for my demands-"

"Your demands?!?"

"one second mate" you say pulling out your comm and opening spacebook and poking that cheeky little trollop Athena, before dialing the local constabulary "hello police? yeah, i'm at that fuck off temple and some crazy robe people are trying to attack me with laser swords. yes i'll hold" you say before just turning your comm off.

"Okay... Yes my demands, firstly, don't be such cunts yeah? Jesus if you guys want to complain at least make some decent manuals available, if I don't know what's wrong with my power then tell me what's wrong with it instead of launching forward to attack, damn, you guys are more trigger happy than i am and angrier than the sith!"

Boy he didn't take that well

He's many leagues above that jedi you fought in Pizza the Hutt's bar, but it seems he isn't trying to hit you, just get you to move around a bit, and swinging where you were, hey, maybe this is your test, they did just say they want to see you fight.

"Damn, and I thought the Sith were bad"

at this point he goes for a killshot but stops before the blade hits you when you elect to not dodge

"Can't do it eh?"

"Why won't you fight back you scummy bastard!"

They don't make jedi like they used to

>what do?
Uhh cuase your an asshole? And I don't deal with assholes so kindly fuck off yeah?
"Uhh cause your an asshole? And I don't deal with assholes so kindly fuck off yeah?"

"Come on hit me, just once, just even draw, I want to see you fight, if not right here we could take it outside or?"

he gets closer and whispers in your ear

"please, i haven't had a good fight in years, they keep me on this fuckiong council in a chair listening all day, it's hell"

"Fuck off mate"

"Please!" He shouts lunging at you

>what do fammo
"Hmm sure, but only if you promise to add me on spacebook"
Go fight him in the courtyard
Start off simple, to gauge his style
Jesus forcemas!!! The hell have you done to this guy I'm out!!! Fuck you and your good and dark sides!
Both are great.
I'll combine them

"Jesus forcemas!!!" you shout quick-drawing your bowie knife and blocking since on that one you could tell he was gonna follow through, "The hell have you done to this guy I'm out!!! Fuck you and your good and dark sides!"

But then you see the look in his eyes, like a zeltron marooned on a planet for 20 years and all of a sudden there's dick in front of you that's refusing any advances.

Fuck, you're gonna regret this later.

"FINE, meet me at the courtyard" then likkle puppy's eyes light up

"T-thank you!" He says sprinting off

You look at the room, Athena has been chanting fight the entire time, and they seem more perplexed by you sword than by anything else.

"Guess i'm off then" You say, leaving with a big line following behind, stopping once about every seconds jsut to hold up the line and take the piss.

Finally you get to the courtyard and see him, saber drawn.

>How do you fight Dual saber or Single saber?
>write in fight strategy
>roll 1d100 with your choice
Rolled 98 (1d100)

Dual saber
Strategy is to focus on assymetrical parrying (keep switching and focusing on one side more than the other every now and then), switch our stance alongside that and keep mobile primarily lateraly, so you can use parries as striking opportunities with the open lightsaber.
Don't go lethal, this is just a playfight.

ask him mid duel if he ever had a boxing match? FORCE FISTICUFFS? FOR GENTLEMEN?
Did I activate your trap card?
Oh by the way, I take back the dual saber thing, use just the yellow one.
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9 KB
Rolled 66 (1d100)

Also more dice for you.

I reaaally want to have Big K not be hated by at least one group even if it's temporary kek
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Use the Sith Bowie knife aswell or just pure yellow?
Don't worry Special K's head with more rolls and talk of hate you fun ruining wasteman, kmt
Just pure yellow, go with a parry and counter tactic, so we don't deviate much from the original plan.

Rolled 14 (1d100)

wht not use the purple....... ooooh, qm is sneaky breeki
raggle fraggle rumble grumble
Trap evaded! One edge(lord) point gained" These can be used to reverse critical fails to normal fails, or normal fails to a draw. Current total = 1 point
>Rolled 98, or 19.6 on a nat20, crit success.

You first think of going full dual saber, but you only brought your yellow saber and the purple saber, and the purple saber would be a terrible option likely resulting in the only faction that doesn't hate you hating you, and the knife has an unfair weight behind it, so you elect for just the yellow.

"You ready kid? My master taught me this move" he says as he goes to swing and triple feints into a leg sweep which you jump over with no problem and swat away his saber and turn it into a spinning kick to the right shoulder

"Heh, not bad, see if you can handle this" He says unleashing a barrage of quick shots with force speed all designed to leave no opening, but you exploit the lack of opening by force pushing his knee back and nutting him when he slips forward, clashing sabers to prevent your face being burned off.

youngling shit.

So you turn off your saber and engage with fisticuffs,

"have you ever had a force boxing match mate?"

He doesn't answer, only deactivating his own saber

"I've punched out several randor lad, this is a mistake you'll pay for" he says spitting out a bit of blood.

"ROUND 1" Shouts athena, and you dash in, throwing off mostly rights and using your left arm as balance, since you don't need it, then at one point he surpises you with point blank very powerful force push at point blank, to avoid you shootout force blasts out of your hand into the air and go into a bridge, kicking your leg out with the momentum and catching him straight in the jaw into the air, which you then pull back down straight into your knee.

"ding... ding?" athena adds

Wow, that was fun

>what do now? leave? claim a prize? talk more? go suck dick for death sticks? go pimp hoes to run a deathstick empire?
Ask the jedi if we cool? Of we cool tell them they can contact us any time. Wink at athena and bid them all farewellx gotta go find our old place and see if our stuff is still there
You look across at the stunned crowd, reaching out with the force the feel the emotions, mostly surprise, mild annoyace, and a bit of lust? Wonder who that's from.

"We cool? well? We cool or not Jedi"



"yeah we solid bro" says the master of laughing you saw before, just before stuffing space space snacks in his mouth "totes chill"

"alright" you reply, "then just letting you know that you can contact me any time" you smirk, eye contacting all the females there before winking at Athena and walk off

"farewell!" you shout waving behind you

Well that's annoying, official lightsaber fights suck since you can't just take their lightsaber. I mean, you could, but you risk assault or arrest doing so, unlike in Sith territory.

You drop a quick message to the togrutan master to let her know to spread your name around so you get those spacebook adds, and also leave a suggestion she should upload more pics and wear less robes and pocket your comm, and get into a taxi for your old yard.

When you get there, you notice that the door's slightly open and there's noise coming from inside

>what do?

(also you stopped off at the ship to switch the purple saber for the dildo saber since you caught out it's unsmart to carry it here)
Is it moaning?
Also get in while being cautious, try to feel what's up, and remember to shout real loud "Papa's home!" Is nothing is amiss
You try to feel what's up, there's a person and underneath a droid in your living room, and apart from that you don't detect anything, so you enter and shout "Papa's home!"

First things first, your protocol droid speaks to you "terribly sorry sir, but I appear to have gotten stuck in this man when the buzzsaw in my chest malfunctioned after it entered his chest."

You look at the man trapped underneath IC-1D, he's wordlessly screaming for help, and just allowing his collapsed lungs to fill with more blood and he drowns looking into your eyes. "oh dear, it happened again didn't it sir"

"yes it did Icy"

"At least his friend and tied up friend are still fine I think"

When this line is said, you feel anger and stress, but you can't tell where from, almost like their location is shielded. Fortunately you know this shithole better than anyone and when the porch creaks like that it means someone's put weight on the kitchen doorway, so you look up and see a certain terrible togrutan bounty hunter than belongs to Pizza just hobbling towards you with bound hands and mouth, but you know someone else is here, so you remain cautious.

>Choose your action and basic plan for the rest of this encounter (including if there happens to be combat) and roll a 1d100
Untie his mouth and ask him what he's doing here.

Be on your guard, if anything happens just evade and light up our yelliw saber for a fight, it's closed quarters so try to use over-reaching swings that block movement (sabers dont get stuck) and forc slushes
Rolled 48 (1d100)

Gareth what the fuck man!!
Not Gareth i'll tell you that, he's getting drunk with the mandos
her, her, she's*

writing, don't stop rolling though
Forgot d100
forgot it twice m8
>mfw op pic
Rolled 20 (1d100)

Rolled 1 (1d100)

Forgetful as fuck
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537 KB PNG
Rolled 71 (1d100)

He was a good friend.
You get to work on one handed untying of the bounty hunters mouth, when it's off she takes a deep breath.

"hey", she gasps, "baka's looking for you, he sent me to... come pick you up"

"A call or a spacebook message would've sufficed"

"He doesn't... have you added"




"anyway, there's someone else he-"

"I know, he's behind me" you say drawing the yellow saber

"What the fuck?" the shouts confused because he so obviously isn't behind you

You knew he wasn't, you just wanted to be badass before the boring close range fight scene comes up since you're at close quarters.

Rolled: 48+10=58

"Ah, there you are" you say thrusting your saber through a wall and hitting someone hiding in the bathroom in the thigh, eliciting a high pitched squeal another girl? No, just a little bitch you think.

Ah, footsteps running up to you and right into your proximity, clashing a pink saber with your yellow saber

"LET ME AT THE CUNT" shrieks icy from the floor

>what do?

That was the third so it was the decider, but i've already finished and i can't be arsed to rewrite it all you bludclart
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>force push and immobilize
Also we have a tied up female at our house, try not to get a boner.
and fail
is there any way we can get the high ground to more easily overpower this cunt?
Rolled 47 (1d100)

damn dice
92/10 = 9.2 inches monstrosity confirmed
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>and fail
I forgot that was one of our guys supposed kinks, nice catch, fighting with a boner we go, intimidating or creepy actions or force repulsion get a +5, while dextrous maneuvers get a minus
stairs, could push him to them then spin em and get on the other side so you're on the steps.
Let's go with that then


"Error: You are temporarily blocked from posting for violating Global 3 - Garbage Outside of /b/.
This block will expire in 11 minutes.

You are not banned
You are not currently banned from posting on 4chan."

well at least it gives me time to write I guess.

Wow, when you first bumped into this togrutan you paid her 0 attention, but now, all tied up, you're getting hot and bothered having her like that,y ou should end this fight quick before it gets weird

and while saber clashing your monster pokes his leg, "what the fuck dude" great it got weird quick.

Your force repulsion activates on instinct of his disgust.

He tries to get distance from you and in fear runs into the wall knocking himself out. Great. You cuff him with some spare shackles and turn your attention to the bounty hunter, who's staring hard at your monster while breathing heavily, and with a blush you can see even on her orange face.

>what do? lewds? go see baka? go elsewhere? the galaxy's your oyster.
"Ayy baby, wanna have some fun fuck
Give her the Exogorth, give it now, in front of her companion.
Then go see Baka, after releasing them both on the streets, rememebr to add the chick on space book.
File: exogorth.jpg (276 KB, 665x970)
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In case you don't remember the exogorth

Just as thick
Just as long
Twice the musk
Once you go Kyran you never want another man


She doesn't have a companion here
apart from the exogorth
Firsto luuuwdo writeuruuu
You look over to where she's squirming on the ground and get down by her ear, whispering that so only she'll ever hear it "Ay bby" and her eyes go wide, this is it, once this is done, she's yours "want some fuuugg?" and before you know it you hear a little pitter patter of wet slipping out of her shorts and hitting the murky floorboards.

You undo her hand bindings but leave the leg bindings on, and just slip through them so she's wrapped around you, and you whip out the exogorth, the beast that hunts all kinds of cat, and is the only thing to ever completely wear out a Zeltron. Her eyes just open even wider than they already were, and through nerves you guess, covers her face, not even peeking through her fingers.
face with her hands, leaving her completely unknown to what's happening next.

You line up your meteor dweller against her entrance and get a feel for things. You don't know if she's too tight, especially since she's a scrawny togrutan rat. But as you know, nothing rejects the exogorth, and you plunge in almost to the hilt resulting in an exasperated squeal capable of being heard in the club upstairs, her hands leaving her face and instead finding your shoulders to do into.

You start with longer slower strokes just to ease her into the pleasure portion of the exogorth, and before too long her tongue's hanging out and her eyes are glazed, lust the only feelings reflecting in either of your eyes as your lips with the same feelings meet, completing the union of the upper and lower of your bodies.

After several seizures from her, you feel yourself nearing your end and rip her shirt off seeing a bit of disappointment in how small they were and plant your mouth between both dark chocolate baby feeders, grabbing the tips of her horns to get leverage to hammer out like you were untouchable for the final stretch, at which point you push fully until your tip is invading her womb, and several thick ropes are shot out into her inner incubator, her spasms drawing out even more in, and when you finally pull out, the exogorth stakes his claim by shooting up over her, from her belly button to her horns and everywhere inbetween covered with at least some of your midichlorian infused jism.

looking down you see a little bit of red in the children's pool of spunk, guess that's why she was so incredibly tight, and why she's now orgasmed herself comatose. people on the virge can't handle the exogorth, she should've known better.

You pant there staring at her in her ecstasy for a while calming down. As your brain functions return. you undo her leg binds and throw a towel at her

"You're fuckin filthy, go wash up, shower's in the back"

She's unresponsive even as the balled up towel strikes her in the cheek and drops to the ground.

Oh the unconscious guy woke up. Guess the screaming was too loud.

>what do with the Sith sent to get you? execution? leave him for now? turn him in? what?
No matter what you pick now, the next post will be about dealing with the guy, and the Baka's club.
>Ask him if he wants to follow Kyran around and learn how to be a real badass that juggles sabers and fucks bitches
>point at the orgasmed to coma togrutan
Hey if everyone has apprentices might try too.

If he says no, tell icy to grab the Exogorth sculpture we made in our own loins honour and shove it in his asshood, then send him back to the spaceport with eniugb creds to go back to the sith academy
Fuck it get some money if theres a bounty.
Actually all of my yes. So forgoet about bounty. Do that.

Roll 1d100
This guy was going to capture you in the name of the emperor, so roll well, write in speech options and extra ideas apart from what's already put we'll better your roll modifier wise
Rolled 34 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

"So you cooperate and be my apprentice or get the Exogorth?"
Rolled 89 (1d100)

1. We beat jedi and sith alike, if he wants power then he should look no further.
2. We are not constrained by the regular boundaries of Sith and Jedi
3. We also have mandalorian contacts and a cool ship
4. We won't send him on suicidal mission and will let him accompany us on crazy shit, such as orgies with Zeltron/Togrutan/Twilek bitches or battles
5. We have dental. Ok we don't but we can arrange for it
6. The sith are a bunch of backstabbing shits, and he can be sure we don't backstab friends. Only enemies. But then again, that isn't really backstabbing is it?
Rolled 15 (1d100)

nice rollinnnnng
>rolled 104

"Hey kid"


"Do you want to follow around Kyran Ollis, most badass man in the galaxy, and be taught how to be a real man? One who juggles sabers and fucks bitches like that nice piece of poon passed out over yonder"

"M-maybe, but i'm a sith, i'll get those things n-naturally" he says, unsure of his own words., "Why should I?"

"Hmmm" you ponder, "why should you? Well firstly I won't jam that statue of my exogorth over there right up your battyhole"

"oh jeez"

You list off all the qualities of life that he'll receive working under you; 1. We beat jedi and sith alike, if he wants power then he should look no further.
2. We are not constrained by the regular boundaries of Sith and Jedi
3. We also have mandalorian contacts and a cool ship
4. We won't send him on suicidal mission and will let him accompany us on crazy shit, such as orgies with Zeltron/Togrutan/Twilek bitches or battles
5. We have dental. Ok we don't but we can arrange for it
6. The sith are a bunch of backstabbing shits, and he can be sure we don't backstab friends. Only enemies. But then again, that isn't really backstabbing is it?

He looks at you

"yeah, YEAH, i'll do it, make me your apprentice master!"

"okay, student...
>insert name here
welcome aboard! your first task, pickup and dislodge my protocol droid, dispose of the body, then we're going out, and be quick about it

"y-y-yes master!" he shouts sprinting off.
lackeys you gotta love 'em
Kyle Starkiller
Jek Tainer
Garik Loran
Rolled 1, 1, 2 = 4 (3d2)

Dice rule his name is now Kyle Jek Loran or KJ for short.
You take the togrutan's comm and add yourself to her spacebook, she'll probably be her when you wake up

"oh, her name's Kuhma" you say, laughing a little bit, having fucked someone out you didn't know the name of, not the first time though, and it won't be the last.

Since she hasn't even woken up from her fuck haze yet, you assume she won't accompany you to Baka's, so you grab your own towel, apply a heavy case of deodorant to get the smell off of you and look around.

Well that dead person is now dealt with, and KJ gives you his dead comrade's lightsaber as a show of respect (11 in total collected, 4 more for an unlockable!) and now it's time for Baka's

You walk through the streets with your apprentice, passing old friends and nodding, old landmarks and smiling, it's barely been a couple of weeks but you missed the nostalgia of this place.

Finally you come across Baka's with two new guards on the door, two Trandoshans with Big helmets on, similar to special forces helmets, but not official, almost black market.

What do to get in?
>do yourself? and what? repeat of last time? stab? shoot? talk?
>get your apprentice to do so, and how?
Baka wants to see me. I don't think he particularly likes waiting.
"Baka wants to see me. I don't think he particularly likes waiting."
"Kyran Ollis"
"not on the list"

oh yeah, baka likes things quiet and off the records, probably how no one's investigated him for a dead jedi yet.

>what do now
Okay you might not remember the last time but when i was here the last assfuck that stood in my way got sent to the hospital. you want the treatment?
"Okay you might not remember the last time but when i was here the last assfuck that stood in my way got sent to the hospital. you want the treatment?"

The two trandoshans puff out their chests and stare you down

"You wanna do whatever you did to the guards we replaced? just try it, we aren't no fishfood, we're dragons nigga!"

>what do now?
Rolled 41 (1d100)

No your giant fucking lizards. Now. LISTEN TO THE WOOKIE RAVE PARTY!!!
"You're not dragons, you're just big fucked up lizards, now enjoy the wookie rave party!"

You wave your hand

and again

and again

what the fuck

"Special forces helmets, brought over from Korriban by Baka's smugglers specifically to stop jedi tricks, you've been had you righteous prick" the talky one shouts as he leaps at you, while the other leaps for KJ"

Rolled 44, 82 + 30 = 156 (2d100 + 30)

64 and 92

writing, though more rolls will change the outcome

also specifying an option will help
You deftly slide in between and out the way of any attempted grapples and strikes, but can't seem to get any good strikes in, when all of a sudden, the trandoshan that KJ is fighting's helmet is torn off and thrown at your trandoshan knocking his helmet off.

You smile, and invoke the sweet sweet wookie rave party in their head, and then again, and put them into seizuring with the third wave. good natural resistance. almost jedi like. It's a shame.

You step over their frothing limp bodies and into the bar, the PTSD bartender immediately recognises you, putting a bottle of space tequila and two glasses on the table. and calling to a temp staff member to deal with the bar while he goes and has a panic attack in the backroom.

You sit at the bar with KJ and take a shot each. "See KJ, you want people to not fear you, but to know that you're capable enough to fear. actual fear causes desperation, including running to the enemy and crushing under pressure" He nods, like your words aren't out of a 16 year old street rat, but out of a wise sage.

You feel Baka's presence upstairs along with a few force sensitives, you could push through upstairs to meet him, or ask someone, or just chill for a bit since he likes to dance so he might be down later. you also like the song on, and it'd be kind of a waste to break the bottle of space tequila over someone's head

>what do
Drink a few shots then take the bottle upstairs. Kj have fun try to get laid.
This is good enough, tell KJ to follow us/skeedaddle if we give him the signal. The signal being any really loud noise.
first off my internet's being shit so if it cuts off i'll be back in the morning or whenever it's back on i guess
already archived and shit so it's fine.

You pour both shots for KJ and pick up the bottle, taking a swig.

"Zeltrons and twi'leks will be the easiest, just dance, have fun, follow your instincts, don't go overboard or slip some chick on the dance floor, unless I signal you with loud noises, have some fun. by the way, anything with horns and tentacles likes it when they get rubbed. later mater"

He waves you goodbye, and takes his shots and heads to the floor, first bobing softly to the music, but when a local girl grabs his arms and starts swaying him, he gets into it. God you can just tell he's gonna be in a drunk tank until morning unless some zeltron with an autist weirdo fetish comes along who finds his fuckups endearing. So 50/50

You head for the stairs bottle in hand, and it looks like the inside guards have been informed of you coming, or simply remember your last visit.

When you get up to the top floor you see two identical packed women, wearing weird collars staring you down before you've even gotten into the room, before Baka claps calming them down and starting up
"Kyran Kyran Kyran, we have much to discuss, but you're in my home, so please, remove your headwear and sit down!"

>headwear removal only
>sit only
>both headwear removal and sit

"Okay, you understand i'm an important man right? One who plays both sides in every conflict since i've been alive, and who only lives down in a dump like this because he's a degenerate? Well yeah, you know things that are dangerous, but you're also a good ally, so don't get caught out about having done what you did last time you were here, because if that trails back to me, it's bad business. Also, how's my favourite bounty hunter doing? The togrutan not you, not to say you aren't decent" He chuckles, having amused himself.

>what say

"And what of the sith attack squad sent to kidnap you? the main reason I tried to get you here first to warn you?"

>what say

mostly checks to show how you feel towards baka and change his outlook on you for pure character development on both sides, and speeds' sakes.

"Well, i've always got work should a young capable man like you need it, however it's all stealth related, can't have myself associating business wise with an imperial enemy or i'll lose half my business, you feel me bro" he says swigging a bottle with an alcohol percentage on it quadruple yours.

>stay and do what?
>leave and do what?
>headwear removal only
>don't wanna sit, my butt's killing me, prison time, etc, big rodian dick jokes

>what say
"She's doing well, must be really glad she finished her mission as well as she did"

>what say
"That sith squad? One's dead and the other turned his back on the sith"

What's the job? We can always use more money
You remove that hat from the top of your helmet and remove the helmet too

"Sorry but I don't want too sit, my butt's killing me, just got out of jail you know"
+1 friendship +1 connection

"She's doing well, must be really glad she finished her mission as well as she did"
-1 friendship +1 connection

"That sith squad? One's dead and the other turned his back on the sith."
+1 connection, harder mission unlocked

Can't be arsed to explain what those mean since they're simple enough anyway but if you really want i'll type it

"What's the job? I could always use more money" 150,00 credits isn't enough to satiate your hoarding fanatacism, perfectly crafted dick sculptures aren't cheap.

"I was gonna give you some easy shit, but you've made yourself seem too competent for that, and competent enough for another role. This is a two man job scheduled for next week. We want the footprint as low as possible so less people, i'm sure you understand. From what I heard you used to work in a team, made some pretty good runs for some of my competitors"

Huh, you'd almost forgotten about your smuggling days. It's a reminder to stay humble.

"Basically, an important figure will be visiting town, I need you to kidnap them without yourselves being seen, but they need to be seen being kidnapped. Maybe a hovercar drive by or something I don't know, figure it out. Job pays 80,000 unmarked credits upon completion. Sound good?"

"Seems good, who's the target? Any special precautions I should take? Any security detail? I want to pull this off without a single hiccup"
Also, sure explain, I can kinda guess but having it 100% sure is better.
Baka pushes you out of the room telling you one of the sisters will comm you the details, and gets freaky with the other one right in front of you as the door leaves. You don't want to know what kind of mind control or blackmail he has on these bald scarred up collared force sensitive twins, but to to french kiss a hutt, it's got to be powerful stuff, makes you feel weird about the whole thing.

Just as you're walking down the road you get a ping from the one who wasn't snogging up that fat slug.

"how'd baka get my comm number anyway?"

"he bought it."

"he bought it?"


"okay, fine, what are the details?"

"8 da ys from now a m-o-v-i-e star in a dress that's the inverted colour of green will turn up at the plaza 10 square feet times 100 to the west of the temple. from there, nullify her security team of 1, 2, 3, 4, and make sure she's kidnapped in sight of the cameras. We can provide a sni per bla ster, and a tin ted win dow get aw ay vehicle"

"why are you typing so weird?"

"people can't manually go through every comm transmission, so certain words and phrases bring up alerts. i'm avoiding that."


She doesn't respond to your next message so you assume that conversation is over

When you get get home you realise something.

You forgot KJ.

>what do?
>go find him and tell him we got a job
>ask him if he's ever fucked a movie star
Think we can use good ol' Exogorth to entice her and have a really clever kidnapping?
>Think we can use good ol' Exogorth to entice her and have a really clever kidnapping?
"I need you to kidnap them without yourselves being seen, but they need to be seen being kidnapped."
I don't see it being possible, but you have 8 days to plan it.
If you get seen, basically pay is nullified and Baka will fall out with you, and the Jedi won't take to kind to your kidnapping either.

You first use the force, reaching around, and can feel him in the hotel across from your place. Will he be staying there?

Seems like he's having fun. Seems like his sensitivity is good, since he can apparently feel you watching him, and thumbs up mentally.

Shit, he did it you guess.

>still go to him (sneak up or burst in)
>just contact him (saying what)
>go somewhere else (what)
>do something else (what)
>get seen
You can always wear a disguise.

Put on a fake mustache, a wig, some make up, pretend to be a slightly overweight porn actor, etc.

>do something else (what)
See who he's banging, don't just mess with his shit but do find out what he scored
As in, you'll see why, but they can't know a single thing about who kidnapped her. Whether you tractor beam her into an unregistered ship, and drive by and pull her into an open, car, they can't even know anything about you. Pure stealth.

They'll be time for moustaches and fake disguises later.

You've got to admit, you're very confused on how he managed to score so quickly.

You hop a couple of fences and sneak up to the window with slightly open curtains, the room you detect he's in

roll a 1d100
Rolled 27 (1d100)

poon for the poon god
also sorry for late roll
Rolled 72 (1d100)

Shit's k blud, you've no obligation for shit or w/e

you're gonna need to roll again if you don't want your new apprentice taking it up the jacksie from a gruff toydarian though, 2 more rolls to be exact.
Rolled 64 (1d100)

But that woulda been funny.
He scored nicely
Too bad you carried on rolling/rolled decently. Maybe on your next excursion, or on your next apprentice.

Suspicions have really grapsed your mind now, and you fear the worst.,

You peak through the window, masking yourself as to not be detected with the force

He has no shirt on, that's a good sign.

But she does, Not a good sign.

But it's his shirt, that's a very good sign.

But they're playing board games. horrible sign.

Oh wait, there's cum dripping out the side of her udnerwear, that's a fantastic sign.

Now to inspect his booty... and it's a Twi'lek, purple, with a 7/10 body and an 6/10 face. Not too fucking bad KJ. But why is she fucking him and then playing board games?

She doesn't look too satisfied, but then again, no one meets your links' level of satisfied.

Maybe he came once and early and she started playing board games with the kid out of pity, or she's a sket just hopping on the first dick on the dance floor, or maybe she's a whore.

Nope, this is the worst cast scenario. He went and got himself a girlfriend, the fucking mug.

The signs are obvious, sharing clothes, that sickening stench of love or at least the illusion of it leaking out of the cracks in the walls? the playing fuckin board games. Aye aye aye. Not the way you do it, but perhaps not everyone's meant to be a Kyran. not everyone's as blessed or talented as Big K, and that's fine by you.

Well, at least he's no longer on the verge and all, but girlfriend's, man you can't ever seeing yourself doing that, fuck, constant messages, can't just leave the planet for two weeks randomly, can't just fuck an zeltron poon you accidentally bump into, hell on earth, Maybe he'll enjoy that hell, who knows.

>what do now bruv
Send him a text that we have a job and that we'll discuss it with him tomorrow
Then go out to the night, look up some cool places like stores or nightclubs or death stick vendor huts
Rolled 1 (1d3)

You shoot him a quick text letting him know you have a job that you'll need to discuss with him tomorrow.

rolling 1d3 to decide 1= store, 2= nightclub, or 3=death sticks vendors first

>which ever one I roll, write in the general theme of your original approach to the place. To rob, to buy from, to kill the manager and steal the deed, to look for poon, to help out people in need, to get pissed, w/e, and i'll tailor the situations and Kyran's dialogue to fit that theme.
To bargain for stuff that we don't really want to buy. That's how you increase your bartering skill right? Riiiiight?
No but really.
1. Look for cool stuff to purchase
2. Argue pointless shit with vendors
3. Look for hot vendors to fug
Rolled 52 (1d100)

Aight, goals are set, and we're off.

rolling to see what tier of shops we find
Pretty average
Above average. Not bad.

You pass over a couple of stores that are mostly uneventful.

You walk into a restaurant and sit at a table and call over a maitre'd demanding to receive the food you received earlier , or some free breadstick while you wait, and when you get the breadsticks and he runs off in panic you take the breadsticks and leave.

You also meet a cutey milf cashier, unfortunately your wooing isn't 100% effective as if you said ay bby want some fug in here you'd attract to many women at once. She tells you that her son is with a babysitter right now, and as soon as her shift is done (she really needs this job by the way) she has to go home to him, but she adds you on spacebook.

eventually you walk into a nicer area of the underground and pass into a pawn shop to meet a gruff Zygerian behind the counter.

"Ah, a discerning customer I can tell. come in, come in, now tell me, what are you looking for specifically? I sell some of everything!"

>what do
Cloaking Devices?
Smoke Bombs?

"First off, what jetpacks do you have?"

"That's a specialist item my friend, the onyl one i have in is defunct, but an amazing defunct product, but a bargain, since it will only activate with a large boost for two seconds and then have a ten second cool down. It's solar powered though, 30 minutes will fully charge it for it's 15 uses, but if you're outsidein the sun there's nothing wrong with the product and works as a normal jetpack.

20,000 credits for that


"Ah, those I have a standard model of in stock. Nothing fancy, runs on fuel, top speed of 40kmh/25mph. Doesn't fly keep in mind, just hovers"

20,00 creds

(cont) if my internet stays alive
Y for jetpack
N for hoverboard
damn we should look for some kind of vehicle though, but it's probably better to steal one, so nothing links us to this
"Cloaking device-"

"Are illegal, and this is a high end joint so this line onf conversation never happened"

Okay, no cloaker then.

"Smoke bombs?"

"Now those I can do! 5 for 5000 credits! You can buy more if you choose too, but not too many since i have other customers."

Also Baka is giving you a vehicle if you so need one for the kidnapping, and after it's done, the completely black hovercar with tints and no registration of any kind will have it's body reassembled, normal windows put in, and a new paint job to make it unrecognizable and unlinkable.

You could persuade him to lwoer the reward and gift the car, but it's avery nice car, so either giant pay cut or high persuasion roll.

Alternatively, you could try junkyards for vehicles that can be refurbished, or even buy a hoverbike instead.

Buy smoke bombs, no vehicle then.

Could we haggle?
Bombs and jetpack
Zygerians don't haggle, well, not this one at least, everything is at perfect mark up from how much they paid to make a succint enough profit. They'll include delivery prices and the time of theirs you take up in it since they're fair.

And you came in with 150,000 in the bank, you'll be fine for now.
"i'll take just the jetpack and smoke bombs for now. I don't have the creds on me, but deliver it to my apartment and i'll pay for it there"

"That could work yes, quite a few instruction booklets with that jetpack, mostly on how not to blow it up or crash, and a small crate of bombs. but it's alot, i'll deliver it to your address"

"Thank pawn shop guy, peac-"

"Wait one second please? You're a bounty hunter Right, my wife has a... stalker problem, and the police aren't doing anything, c-could you help me? i'll pay, and throw in a few armour modifications since my wife's a mechanic!"

>what say/do?
remember, everything is a legitimate vote, i'm still tryng to get over the stresses of bane in a gimpsuit and my first lewd, christ. QMing's hard.
Sure, let's help this dude out, ask him for details.
Does he know the guy?
Shut up you love it!!!!!

Also let's hear it. There is a very expensive fee now.
Rolled 49 (1d100)

I really do bruv, I really don't
"Sure i'll help i guess, i'm not cheap though famalam"

"Like I said i'll pay, I just need your help"

"Fine, do you know the stalker?"

"No I don't think so, but she's getting weird messages on actual paper, and is following her, and starts chasing her in if she goes through an empty area, luckily she used to be an athlete before a mechanic!"

"uh huh"

"Look, she lives in constant fear. and i need your help resolving the situation, the sooner, the better."

He's told you her work place, her appearance, and the general route she takes home.

she's still at work since she does nights to fix cars till midmorning.

>deal with it now and how?
>later, do what else?
Later call in the Mandos. Feed the exogorth.
Do it now
Call in the mandos, and feed the exogorth, or feed the exogorth with the mandos? cos that's gross bruv, they're 60+ all of them, essentially your grandparents.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Call the Mandos then feed the exogorth someone else.
The cheapskate's wife can wait, it's probably just a scared admirer, which is why her defiled body chunks aren't disolving in a plastic bucket right now.

Instead you call up the mandos and are greeted by Percy's voice
"Hey kyran what's up?"
"You sound suprisingly sober Perce"
"Well yeah, i'm designated driver tonight"
"Weren't you designated driver last time?"
"Yeah, so?"
"No, no reason. So anyway where you guy's chilling tonight?"
"oh, some club at these co-ordinates, come on by man"
"yeah i will, later perce" you say disconnecting the call, and holler a taxi to drop you off at Rosh's Romper

five minutes later you stroll past the bouncers after you see this place's bouncers are unconscious, and look around.

Where do you go first?

>the bar
>group of girls
>singular girl
>hooded girl
>the mandos
>the dance floor
>the bar
>where else could you go in a bar bruv?

I thought so mate, got my eye on you though.
>>singular girl
After chatting with the mandos
You saunter over to the mandos, joining in their drunken cheers, and grabbing the drink with your name on it.
Guess Percy pre ordered for you, top guy.

"So what brings you here Kyran?"

"You know me, good companionship, good drink, and good comPOONionship amirite lads?"

"AYYY!" they cheer, with the length of the laughter letting you know exactly who's the drunkest here, and it's as normal, glenda is wasted, beatrice is semi drunk, percy is sober, and Gareth? You don't know, probably sniffing spice off of a toilet seat in the bathroom just to sniff the seat.

You thank the for the drink and make your way over to the singular girl, and without even looking at you says "i'm waiting for my boyfriend"

>what do? roll1d100 with your prefferred speech or action too
Rolled 90 (1d100)

Yeah well okay, I'm waiting for your boyfriend too.

Roll to seduce her boyfriend
Rolled 49 (1d100)

Hell yeah.
You see, by asserting dominance over her male partner you'll define yourself as the truly alpha male in the room, when she sees that she'll be open to taking it from Kyran. That and she'll probably break up with the dude for being a prancing lala homo man.
>Roll to seduce her boyfriend
kek, there is no boyfriend but you can say that, this was more of a perception/speed/smarts/roll
Rolled 35 (1d100)

Oh, well good enough
By the way, can we seduce this one then go for another hunt?
Might as well make it worth it.

And if you don't mind we could fill Kyran's ass up with energy drinks and have him go do that job while hopped up
"It's okay, i'm waiting for your boyfriend too"

She just groans and goes back to surveying the plac- oh what's this? Did she think that no one would notice the hidden hand signals her right hand is doing? Those are very light hand signals though, but this is good news!

Bounty hunter poon may sometimes be a little used, but they're tight and perky and fit and those kegel exercises they do keep the pussy tight as a mf. Maybe you can use this...

"Oh wait, I think I see your boyfriend! Yeah the one that you just flashed to let him know to go upstairs" She tenses up considerably "Not nice of your boyfriend to go upstairs with another woman, especially another bounty hunter. Maybe you should get even huh?"

"Alright, who are yo-" She stops. Either she sees the bulge of the hungering exogorth, or she recognises you "Just w-what do you want?"

"Just to talk to you, what I originally came over to do. your team will be fine right? you've done whatever job you needed to do right? What you say we get, acquaint you with the monster huh?"

"I..." Yeees "I-I...." Yeeeeeeeeees "I can't leave my post!"


"though, we could... just do it here, my contract says to just stand here and keep watch, i can multitask"

She's either an exhibitionist, a workaholic, or that really is her boyfriend she's trying to 1up when he comes back to see.

>what do? to fug or not to fug? to muffle her screams in some way or nah get a crowd?
>write ins on specifics of what to do/say would be very much appreciated.

sure, after this, do that job while hopped up.
Muffle the sound with his mouth, just tease her about her work and try to keep it discrete. I mean people will notice but just don't put up too much of a show.

call Gareth and ask for a distraction, promise to reward him at a later date
Gareth's not here
You don't want to know what he's doing, trust me, but he's back on the ship.

keep it discrete
as in force wise, or angling wise, or just go slow and small movements? try to make it look like dancing/swaying to the beat, from behind or from the front so it just looks like making out with the back of her trousers raised or that she's grinding on you almost twerk style?

I need specifics anon! and pictures of spiderman too
Try to make it look like dancing while grinding and do it to the beat.
Just fug in the open.
You spin her around and put your own back to the wall and bend her down in front of you.

You hear her gulp in fear and anticipation when you slam it on her back, pulling down the back of her shorts, and slipping it into her folds.

You pull the back of her hair until she's looking you in the eyes, and then join lips so she screams into your mouth when you ram it on the bass drop.

Thank the force it's so loud in here.

You release your grip on her tongue, and let her head flop back down so it at least looks like you're dancing, but she's kind of.. a bit off, since she's too deep in the fact that you're too deep to think about hiding it, and while she just moans loudly for a while in the open, you decide a good way to quiet her a little bit is to hook her mouth and pull her head back, aswell as netting a little more leverage to go faster this way.

You carry on like this for a while, when you hear "Look I told you guys, the lightsaber juggler man from korriban is fuckin some punk chick on the dance floor" "with a monster cock too damn, can she even take that?"

It seems with each new addition to the crowd and each new voice she tightens even more, the kinky sket. You decide fuck being quiet about it, and park your arse down, letting her reverse cowgirl with you sitting up, with her arms and legs in a full nelson hold, showing herself off to the entirety of the crowd watching

after her third and most powerful vaginal seizure on your beast, you decide you've had enough for now, and with one final thrust, shoot millions of force sensitive spermatozoa deep into her, covering her vaginal walls.

Letting go of her arms, she collapses forwards and is hit directly in the forehead with your felshy blaster as you pullout, not that she seems to notice. You've only gone and knocked them out again.

You leave her there, stand up, shake your dick off, put it in your pants and walk off.

If you weren't a role model before you were now

I wonder how many illegitimate children this 16 year old has fathered
holy shit lewds are hard to write, especially at 2:30am when you've been up since 7am
not just hard on muh dik either, damn, shit's effort.

Next thing on your itenary while you still have some energy left, it's 4:30 am, and you want to help that woman out.

You know she gets off work soon.

>Do you head straight there or stop off somewhere first to pick something up? if so, where?
Straight there for our stake out, got all he needs on him anyway.
Also, make a mental note of all the girls that seemed impressed or checked out his performance. Any from that previous list? Any new ones? For science.
Force sensitive, can easily tell when a safe day is or when it isn't, doesn't mean he cares either way, but he'll pull out if he knows he has to, normally.

though we are leaving genetic material everywhere, not a great idea in star wars.

Depressing factoid That particular bounty hunter didn't have a functional womb, and it's her dream to have kids ;'(
bet i made you feel bad for making me write gimp suit and lewd ya prick.
God... godamn you actually made me feel bad.
Are there no womb implants? Can't she like, clone a new one?
Jesus Star Wars get your shit together.

make a kickstarter "new womb for this sex bomb"
most girls in there that were affected picked the biggest guy they could find to go home with, assuming bigger dicks, because they wanted what she was having.

Most were too awestruck to stop you on your way out.

No one there you recognised as friends with you on spacebook or having met them before since that was a new club to you.

she has no womb since it was removed during a her 4rd childbirth due to a complication.
shes a loving single mommy of three kids and does low risk low pay jobs to keep food on the table.

like she weren't your age, at least 26, but she had a really young look due to her punk outfit and half shaved head.

and vagina like it had never had anything in it before, corr blimey, it wasn't exactly scrawny togrutan tight, but you felt it, especially once the crowd gathered.

writing anyway
Rolled 2 (1d4)

It takes a while but you find her workplace, just as she's finishing up and closing shop.

You follow her on the way home and it doesn't take any time at all before the stalker appears, or at least someone following her, ducking into alleyways or acting casual when she turns around

>what do? roll1d100 with your choice
Rolled 54 (1d100)

Anal rape!!! I just got outta prison and your ass looked tasty!
what the fuck brah
that legit anal rape or intimidation tactics?
shiet, i'm too old for this shit.
Rolled 72 (1d100)

Anyway, just threaten him with anal rape if he keeps doing it I guess?
Beat him up a bit, possibly get his id info and send it to our employer
Rolled 8 (1d100)

wan moru
Plot twist number twoooo
No it's legit. No one will follow her if they get an ass rape. Just go in dry and tell them to bite the pillow we totally brought for just this occasion.
You sneak up behind the fucked up stalker and shout in your best deilverance voice

"Wooooweeeeee!" they freeze "I just got outta prison and your ass looked mighty tasty"

"What the fuck?" they say, turning around to be a girl stalker? maybe this isn't the stalker and just some thief sneaking up on her, but either way, you''re putting the criminal to justice

You engage in an impromptu wrestling match, pinning her up against the wall, shouting "it's been too long since i've had a nice ass like thissun?"

"Wait, please!" they scream turning into a male shapeshifter, you knew all along by the way they weren't instantly turned on at the sight of you, and that overly masculine stance, but you carry the act to the end

"A shapeshifter is fine too, when it's a dirty stalker like you!" "Please no, please, i'll never stalk again I swear! I'm over her!"

>what do also roll a 1d100
Rolled 99 (1d100)

Diceu rollu
Rolled 78 (1d100)

Are you suuuure you're over her?

Fuck it show him the Exogorth and see how he reacts, then repeat the question?
Ask him for his ID and tell him if he does anything, the Exogorth will know.
And it will hunger.
Commence the raping. Forgot that very important part.
Rolled 40 (1d100)

jesus fuck my shit up
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290 KB
290 KB JPG
Rolled 74 (1d100)

Are we really raping a dude?
It's a shapeshifter. It's anything we want. At the same time! It could even be a girl!
Well you rolled so well it's probably not gonna be rape, for long.

Might even get a shapeshifter companion out of it. Just... hope nobody asks many questions.
Rolled 79 (1d100)

did op die from the shock of the anal rape?
"Name" You order.

"Thomis Pratch, I swear, my ID's in my back pocket!"

You check it. It matches up.

"Now" you say making him look at the exogorth, "are you sure you're over her?"

"Aaah yes, i'll never look at her let alone think of her again"

"well that's just too bad, since i'm already here, might aswell drill the idea into you!"

"NoooooOO00oo" he screams, the stress finally hitting it's crescendo, and his biological makeup melting into some viscous jelly in the alleyway. Thank god you pulled that off in time, you wasn't sure he was gonna crack and you'd have to do something. you can't fuck a man's ass, even normal girl ass is too gross for you, Big K is a poon man only.

"Stop, police!" Shouts a droid at you

"It's okay, citizens arrest, override code 6A-42, but you guys can handle the arrest from here

"Certainly sir" it buzzes, scooping him up into a little evidence baggy.

Well that was an adventure, you text the store owner letting him know the stalker's taken care off, and is now too traumatised to leave his own house at night, let alone stalk.

>what do now?
When i said you have freedom and could do what you want, I left male anal rape lewd out of the constitution. Sorry man, this shit's hard enough already.
Go back to the lady meet and give an encore scene. You don't have to write it. I was just wondering how far I could push the envelope. Though I do find it funny we call our peen a giant space worm.
Merc not meet autocorrect you bastard.
Go check out Ranlis' place, see what she left behind before having o move to Korriban. Also, I wonder why she felt depressed.

Anyway go do that
If tthere is no write up then it'd be him just acknowledging it happened, so might as well pick another action. Also really why go fuck the same chick again?
This is what the third sex prompt?
Which lady meeting?
Oh, she's gonna be unconscious for at least until daylight.
And you envelope pushing motherfucker.
God I was racking my brain trying to figure out a way to make that work, damn, been running for like 18 hours with gaps, so i'm slow right now.
Do you wanna take a break bro?
>This is what the third sex prompt?
Can't tell if you're one of those vehemently anti lewd peeps or you just want to continue carrying on, but I thank you regardless.
nah blud
full ham until i pass out, i'm unemployed until January something.

back to writing
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93 KB
Yes yes I am the envelope pushing motherfucker. I have Ph.D. In it.
With all this poon floating around you right now, you start thinking back to your first actual poon.

Ranlis, and god is that thought depressing you,

Shut the fuck up conscience, puberty is a weird time.

Yeah yeah you still regret everything that's happened, and you just want to get to the bottom of her depression. Right now you're just interested in what happened between the last two times you saw her, so you check out the last place you remember her inhabiting, that old run down small food storage unit that produced heat instead of AC.

You may of spent a winter or two in here when the usual squats became too cold.

And force, it's like a trip down memory lane, wall carvings, only scraps of wrapper from the high energy shit taste bars you'd buy.

No signs of her, obviously, though you find a note.

"Hi Kyran, it's me, i've got a lot to say and simultaneously nothing to say, so i'll take the middle ground here

i'm getting my contact on Coruscant to leave this note in our spot while you're in prison, where we first huddled for warmth together those years ago.

No longer am I picking up scraps of crime bosses and colliding with you due to different employers, i've got a promising bright future in the imperial military as a sergeant.

No longer will I be dreading running into you on runs so you can say those crappy one liners I punch you for, and have to look into the face I fall for every time I dream, and have to break my heart again attempting to forget you and all we went through for the day.

I still don't know why you are how you are Kyran, maybe one day you'll no longer be yourself, and I won't have to love such a toxic person for me anymore

Yours regretfully,
Mrs Kyol.

PS: I told you at that bank i always considered it sex, but not that i think about it, it was only that way for me, for you, it was masturbation, you wanker"

well that was not a nice thing to read, and you're further from closure than you started at.

You jam the note into your pocket, folding it up being something that would take too long and result in you having to look at the words on the page again.

So you trudge through the rain to an area that taxis service, wait for a taxi, take the taxi home, get home strip and hop into bed.

Oh wait there's someone in your bed.

Well you'll kick them out in the morning, for now though, you could really do with something to hold onto tight while you sleep.

You dream running down a dark hallway, the walls shrinking as you get closer in, with the arms in the walls stopping your path and pulling you back more and more the deeper you got and the morning the walls shrank.

Eventually you reach a dead end and reached a hole in the wall, looking back you realise the hands are all the same as yours

And you wake up

What to do today, well, kick that scrawny rat out of your be- oh she's gone.

No note? perfect. that means a lie in-

Well fuck it's 3pm, time to get up.

>what do today? breakfast? kj? pawn shop guy? paint your armour?

Well I have a ph.D in your mom's butt

speaking of D's in butts, which other QM you know go from lewd, to alley shapeshifter stalker ass rape, to dramatic exposition and background development of our character?

None nigga, none. Bow down bruv
Find out if she left or is in our bathroom or kitchen. Is she's in the kitchen be like make me a sammich. Now the fuck ya still doin ere?
You scan the house with your force, nope, not here, she left through the front door about an hour ago, but stuff (buttstuff hehe) has been cooked though.

Infact, there's a dewback strip sandwich wrapped up in the kitchen, you feel it.

So you go and get it, to find a slightly greased note under the sandwich, that reads

"Thanks for last night and the nights to come! made you a sandwich sleepyhead!"

Fuck, you remember why you you used to check for virgins before hand, otherwise this happens.

Before you know it, she'll be annoyed with you too.

The thought slightly sours the taste of the sandwich, but it's a nice sandwich made with your nice ingredients so you still enjoy it.

>next on the agenda?

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