Before I start this off, thank you like 8 times to the anon that archived yesterdays thread, which is here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Star%20Wars%20Murderhobo%20Edition%20Quest If you caredThe story stars with our neither hero nor anti hero, just murderhobo'ing Gary Stu, Kyran Ollis lying in a hospital bed after a rather fierce clash with Sith Master Fieri, trying to prove your worth. The fact that you nearly killed each other (he still hasn't woken up while you have) lingers on your brain, and you wonder your status here.more writing of anon from last thread's final choice
>>43980774Might aswell see what how you can entertain yourself with while you're here...You inquire with the nurse "Do you like butt stuff?"Normally that line always works %5 of the time, but she just sneers. Fucking sith, thought the jedi were the ones with a stick up their ass?Realizing you're a tech savvy guy, you try your luck with the droid."You into buttstuff?"Servos whirr and beep, and her face lights go red"I'm afraid my ejection port is exit only, b-baka!""Enough!" Shouts the nurse, "I won't have some scum off the streets attack our Sith and fuck our droids. Come on XC"You use the force to make your stomach growl loudly,"But, i'm hungry!""The cantina droid will be along shortly, now be quiet"Rude.YOu wait 10 minutes and sure enough, a small utensil covered droid wheels you in a plate of >write in foodthen>write in what to do after food.
Same as last time, this is your quest, you decide where to og, who to join, what to buy, post pics/links of shit you want or want to meet.Old Republic Era btw
>>43980795Food is boiled red seaworms and gungam brains.Eat it of course!Meanwhile, try and move the food to our mouth using the force, like a slob.
>>43980836A nice plate of boiled red seaworms and gungan brains, your favourite! How did they know? The sith aren't so bad after all!You relieve the cantina droid and act like a hutt, getting someone else to feed you the food.That someone else being the force.You spend a moment thinking of whether or not this is disrespectful, and then discard said thoughts in name of enjoying your food, and finishing said food.Now your plate's clean.>What do?
damn this started slower than yesterday's thread...
>>43980993Sorry I had to go take a dump
>>43980858Check injuries, go for a walk if possible
>>43981051How hard is it to develop the ability to send telepathic messages to your computer from your shitter? I learnt that when i was three years old senpai.>>43981063Feeling with your hands and with the force, you can tell that you're pretty badly banged up. You think you're able to stand if assisted, maybe with a cane or a wheeled table, or using the force like a madman.You know that after that punch you took however many days ago though, that you're gonna be concussed for a while.Conclusion: Nothing permanent that time wont' fixYou check your charts for a second opinion."Permaneny lightning burns on 20% of subjects' back"Ah, that would explain the stinging.>What do>
>>43981101Use food droid as a walker, go explore, ramt about this generation and about how back in the day thinfs were much nicer.
>>43981141You drag the food droid towards yourself and use it as a walker. It makes shallow unheard protests in droid speak as you push it along to your destinations.You pick up a bag with your gear in it! Woo for you, and go exploring with your new food droid. The droid points out places like supply cupboards and the like while you engage in reminiscing about the past generation."Back when I was 14, about 2 years ago, a bit before your time little droid, everything was much nicer. For starters the nurses wouldn't threaten you, or not let you make a move on their droid, or leave you alone despite your curiosity. Not just that, look at these walls? So drab. Thought you sith were supposed to express yourselves at all times.The droids logic servos try to comprehend what you are saying, but gives up a minute in, and instead goes back to tour guiding you around.>What do? any particular location?
>>43981180Training grounds, that or find the nearest instructor
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>43981201writing
>>43981219You stumble through the halls, looking like some crazy asshole in a hospital gown, since well, that's what you are.After a while, you stumble upon an instructor at the academy, well, you think she is since she's shouting at a bunch of youngers with vibroblades, but you can't really tell. When everyone's gaze averts to you, so does hers."Are you lost boy?" She says, almost pity in her voice."No, i'm just looking for an instructor""What you should be looking for is a route back to your hospital bed, why're you looking for an instructor anyways?">what do along with 1d100
>>43981255We're here to practice force powers. Our body may be weakened but our soul has UNLIMITED POWEEEERUse the glowy gazelle power for effect
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>43981293>>43981255Forgot dice
>>43981293>>43981309"Well, to show off and practice our force powers. Talking of that, check this shit out"She stares oddly, almost oddly enough to out you off. As you focus, you can feel yourself vibrate, and you can see yourself flash in and out of existence, and glow.You don't know why she looks confused, you thought all force users could pull this off?All those stares from her students are offputting aswell, their agape jaws filling you with pride as you bounce sprint every where.... Right into your makeshit walker droid. You upright him, and then finally yourself, and you feel abit of blood trickling down your back, however, you're not sure whether you reopened a wound or simply impaled yourself on one of your new friend's many many untensils."Wow. Super impressive" She remarks>What the fuck do now that you've yoda'd up the place?
>>43981350Ask if they've never seen anyone go full twilight before, jeez n-no need to stare.That and ask if we"re in their secret club now?
>>43981377"What's with the stares? Have you never seen anyone go full Twilight before?"A couple of students laugh, but she just blinks, the pleb. what kind of person hasn't seen the film about the ghostly gazelle flashing and running to find it's mother? You feel like you've wasted a top notch one liner. You'll have to remember it for later."Anywho, am I in your secret club now?"More blank stares."I-i assumed you already were, though we don't have any classes that teach whatever nerfherdery you just performed""I mean are you accepting me into the academy?""What? I don't even deal with enrollments, and you are way beyond my specific class of teaching anyway, now leave. You really want to sign up, go speak with Master Fieri"Huh, she hasn't found out you comatosed him yet, guess you weren't out that long then.>what do
>>43981429Go get our wounds checked again then talk to this Fieri dude. We have an offer he can't say no to
>>43981429By the way a good way to keep your players informed of playtimes is to have a twitter, check timezones etc.
>>43981429"he has been unavailable lately, is there anyone else I can speak to? "
>>43981497Oh right I forgot, derp
>>43981478Good idea, i'll have to make one at some point.>>43981497"He's... Indisposed, is there anyone else I could talk to?""Well, you could always try with reception, I mean, they might have some forms for you to fill out"Bureaucracy, gross.>>43981459You head back to the nurses office and the only person there is a plain medical droid. You get your wounds checked out again and a fork removed from your back, and apart from that you're fine, apart from a stern lecture about safety and taking it easy destroying your ears.Now that's done, you scope out the other rooms to figure out where the guy you fought is.roll1d100
>>43981521If you want to change the choice to go check at the desk instead of checking to see if this guy's awake yet then let me know.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>43981521press f to pay respectsBy the way, we still got our helm on?
>>43981521Let's head for the front desk first, sign up to be in the academy before we attempt to murder fieri.
>>43981560This works also, I just don't want to continue the murderhobo theme of yesterday
>>43981605That's completely up to you guys.>>43981560It's in your bag, no one wanted to put clothes on so hospital gown it is for now.You lightly rap the door and enter.the fact he's not hooked up to life support means it wasn't as bad as you thought, he's probably just sleeping off the exhaustion the force left on him.You call his name and even slap him a few times, and he slightly reacts, so he's fine, but he needs more sleep.So you leave for now.After pressing F to pay respects that is, by which you mean dropping a credit on his pillow.>>43981592You head for the front desk and clear your throat, an obnoxious looking sith pureblood stares you down."What""Well, i'd like to sign up. I was told that there's forms here I can sign to do so?"She stares you down harder, maybe trying to gauge your power, who knows, maybe she just really likes your bedhair"You know you shouldn't just walk into the grand halls of the sith wearing next to nothing demanding entry, urgh, fill these in and then get back to me"She hands you a block of papers, most of which are at least 80 different signatures that make your death by accident or otherwise your fault and your fault alone.You feel in those and the other details.But you come to an area you're not sure how to sign.References:How you found out about us:What's your star sign:Where do you see yourself in ten years:>What do? keep signing? truth? embellish? kill yourself?>choose
>>43981674References: Fieri?How you found out about us: Extreme BDSM porn on GalaXtubeWhat's your star sign: GoatWhere do you see yourself in ten years: probably not here
Rolled 9, 2, 6 = 17 (3d10)>>43981738>>43981674Oh yeah and embellish humorously, bureaucracy is for losers
>>43981674References: the Jedi I left dead10 years: being a sith assassin ( in terms of abilities and whatnot, as well as a line of work) How we heard about them: well known sith Academy, how didn't I hear about this place?
>>43981738>>43981754You smile at your handiworkWill reception bitch see it the same way as you?You can only hope so as you hand her the stack of documents."Ugh, you again? i really hoped you'd have just given up, or simply not know how to read. Would've made my job a lot easier.Now let's see here..."---Oh great, you're being choked again."do you really think this is funny? From 4 knuckles deep in the inner rim? Found out about us through extreme BDSM porn?The sith are not to be taken lightly child, do not test my patience" she says as she throws another stack of papers at you. Do it right this time, or frag off back to where ever you came from!">What do?> fill it in like >>43981759> or what else?
>>43981814Aldo, let's get dressed
>>43981814Fill in like dude said. I like the ambiguousness of "sith assassin" but misspell our name
>>43981844Heh, i didnt even think of it that way while typing it. Nice catch
>>43981843You get a few disgusted errant stares as you jump out of your hospital gown and into your slightly bloodsoaked clothes from yesterday, but fuck them, you like these clothes. Plus you feel more at ease with your helmet on.>>43981844References: the Jedi I left dead10 years: being a sith assassin ( in terms of abilities and whatnot, as well as a line of work) How we heard about them: well known sith Academy, how didn't I hear about this place?is put down on your forms, aswell as a disgusting misspelling of your name Kyran Ollis, that you actually put in correct last time.You hand her the papers."Did you manage to not fuck up this time? We'll see"---She eyes you very suspiciously, like she's not sure if you're dangerous or retarded, and the only stick she has to poke you with to test which one is an antique."A sith assassin huh? hopefully that means killing for us, as the other way won't work so well for you. Honestly? You killed a jedi? Which one? and how?">write in
>>43981915Tell her the story of the Jedi, but leave out the confidential details baka would like you to keep secret.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>43981977You regale her with the tale of you trying to enjoy a quiet drink when the Jedi stopped you by exploding your glass like a bit of a cunt, because he thought you were Sith.You give a description of the Jedi's appearance and fighting style, how you danced around him using human shields, scoring superficial wounds, and finally finishing him off with a push, a punch, and stabbing his unconscious form with his own saber.She's not sure what to think you can feel her hesitation."Well if you're telling the truth, which I think you aren't, that was Jedi Knight Danny Dippo, a very aggressive and dangerous jedi."You smirk, you assumed it was just some shit street jedi, not the real thing."there are a few problems with your story though"Here we go1. We have a Sith Padawan on the planet who is meeant to report in anything odd that happens, and she hasn't yet2. what proof do you have other than your word3. You are on the level of a graduated sith if this is true, so why study here?4. why did you come to me instead of master fieri?>write in, be real specific about exactly you want to say/do, and include a 1d100
>>43982095It was in a place that didn't want anyone to know about Jedi being killed. Why would this padawan know about it? Show his lightsaber as proof. While I may be powerful, but I feel my powers are unrefined. I have tried, but Fieri is unavailable right now.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>43982095That sith's a weakling, some bounty hunter dropped her
>>43982183Ahahahathis can only end well.gonna add it onto>>43982181what other details do you want to include on the bounty hunter? pin it on someone you know? say you killed the bounty hunter who did it?writing
>>43982181>>43982095Tell her to check fieri in the hospital, gee we sure hope she appreciates our testing performance
>>43982215Our rival, Ranlis Kyol, who is also our clone.Nothing weird for star wars so far.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>43982095>>43982230>>43982218Well, let's start in reverse order you guess."Firstly, that guy is unavailable right now since he's taking a nice nap in a hospital bed after he wanted to see what my mettle was made out of. You can go check if you want"She looks almost scared at that but remains cool, she probably doesn't believe you right now, but you can feel her unease, and you know for a fact that after she's done here she's gonna go running to the nurses' office."Secondly, as powerful as I am, hitting of ghostly gazelle shit and mind crushes, I feel that my powers are unrefined, dangerous to myself, and very draining, and I would like to learn to wield them like a true force user"She nods."Lastly, this happened in a place that didn't want anyone to find out about jedi being killed, so why would she have found out? Exactly. Actually, now that I think of it, I saw a sith on coruscant. She got brained by a two bit bounty hunter, a clone of me named Ranlis Kyol. twilek right? Dumb looking saber?And proof we killed the jedi? how about his lightsaber *schwooon* right here?"---
>>43982313Obviously this is a lot to take in.But she's a pureblood? Maybe she's kept up with the story?You've had fly through takeaways get longer orders correct, shouldn't be this hard lady.Extreme exasperation comes out of her throat."So you kill a jedi, fly to korriban, and hospitalize a master after viewing his apprentice be killed by your clone..."---She thinks and thinksYou can feel the rainbow of emotions, she doesn't know how to call someone stealthily enough without you seeing, she doesn't think she can take you, and she's not sure if any backup brought will be able to take you. You know these things.---Five minutes have passed when she finally decides to speak up."I'll put your application in the pile. If we need to speak to you further we'll call you on your comm, so make sure you stay on world for a while okay? if you really have to left we'll galaxy mail you or actual mail your address on coruscant.Have a nice day!" she says through gritted teeth and fear---You've never had a job interview before, well, you have for jobs, but not for actual job jobs.You think that went well.>what do now senpai
>>43982367Go rest till we healMaybe use the force to heal faster?Was wolverine sith/jedi?
>>43982473Wolverine was a hairy canadian manlet with a bad temper.Also he went SNIKT not SCHWUP---You check into some shithole hotel and look at forcetube videos on how to heal yourself through meditation
>>43982511you can't quite figure out exactly how to force heal since it's a much more refined ability that needs focus to use, but you figure out just meditating normally helps your body heal faster, so you rest up a bit until you no longer feel like there's glass in your ribs when you walk.You wake up for a new beautiful evening.>what do?
>>43982528Find your companions, see what theyre up to
>>43982564>>43982528Go explore, find a tavern or something.
>>43982528Acquire food, try not to be murdered.
As filling as that meal you had earlier was, it was earlier, and this is now.You wonder around until you find the closest tavern/pub/bar that serves food and drink.Boy is it a shithole, but one with actual character, unlike that dump on mos eisleyYou order the house special and a shot of whatever the barkeep recommends"to what table sir?" he asks>The one with the people in robes>The one with... hey it's your friends>The one with randoms>The one with no one>eat out back by the bins>Write in
>>43982720>The one with the people in robes>Ask them if they came to participate in the Great Tournament
>>43982760"take it to the table with the people in robes thank you very much"You head over to them and plonk yourself at an empty seat"Sup fellas?""Who are you, if you don't mind, this is a...personal conversation""Well I was just wondering if you lot came to participate in the Great Tournament""the what""The great tournamentthey hold, I mean you guys are entering it aren't you?""what the fuck are you on about?">write what kind of food and beverage arrivethen>write in what do
>>43982817A purpleish liquid with the consistence of yogurt and the smell of rotten eggs.The rest is the usual (same as our other meal).>what doSense if they ping for force-dudes like the sith or jedi, then make up some bullshit about a tournament being held with the prize of some really rare jedi/sith holocrons worth a lot of cash.
>>43982908"here you are sir" says the barkeep as he puts down your food and drinkNow you know what the food is, obviously your favourite meal is just a staple food on this planet, and your sense of smell picks up new spices in this one.You're not sure you want to drink whatever that is though, jesus fuck, get that away.you force lift it and drop it on someone else's table, and the hooded gents all tense up when you do. You check to see if they feel like force users, and they do, but not by much, and you can't tell if they're jedi or sith since neither dark nor light force mean anything to you right now."You lot didn't know about the tournament basically there's a biiiiiig tournament where people use all sorts of weaponry, and the winners get larger prizes the better you placed, including jedi and sith holocrons, artificats, and cold hard credits baby"They're not sure what to think"Ooh yeah, that tournament, yeah we're here for that tournament" One of the hoods calls out, earning annoyance from the rest.Force, your sense is getting better all the time."But we're planning for it right now and it's secret so if you wouldn't mind leaving now?">write in
>>43983013Sure sure don't mind me.Go find your buddies but try to listen to these guys? What would that take, amplificating sound waves?FUCKING HOODED MEN WHY DO YOU NOT MAKE THIS EASY FOR US
>>43983080BECAUSE THEY'RE SITH OR JEDI, AND IN YOUR ESTIMATION, BOTH ARE GRADE A CUNTSyeah you can do that force listen shit
>>43983132What about when a sith and a jedi have a baby? Did he ever wonder about that?Does the douchyness get negated or do they double it up?Are the Sidi or Jeth?
"Heh, I'll see you enforcers at the tournament then, toodles"as you leave plate in hand, you don't even have to reach out with the force to feel their apprehension. have they been outed? are you a spy?nah you're just a guy who wants boiled red seaworm and gungan brain stew.You walk over to your friends table meeting glenda and her merry band of mando money makers going for the traditional mandolorian diet of shit to get swole af for battle, proteins out the arse."Heeeeyyy it's our favourite (fuck off you yankiedoodle autocorrect, favourite has U in it) magic bastard!" She yells as she pulls you into a hug, nearly making you drop your food. She needs to be careful in the future."I guess you survived whatever it was then!""Yep, mind if I take a seat?""No problem at all lad"While you eat with them, you listen with one ear to the adventures they've had in their short time here, getting paid and getting pissed mostly, and with your other ear you eavesdrop on the hoods' conversation"Do you think he could tell we were jedi padawan?""of course not, there's not even a single part of us visible, and these aren't jedi colour""yeah well, the trickery of the sith knows no bounds athena""enough arguing, how long until we complete our incognito trial and are allowed back home?""just one more week, praise the force"interesting>what do? talk to friends? talk to hoods? murder everyone? piss yourself and die? the galazy's your oyster>>43983175I don't believe in original sin, so until it is trained in either, it has douche potential, and when it's trained in either, it gains the mantle of cunt.
>>43983279Talk to friends for a while see if they have any good jobs to do while here, oh and.. wait until Jedi leave to stalk them.
>>43983279Ask mandalorian companion about mandalorians, how do we get into that club?
>>43983375"About mandolorians", you start "How do I get into that secret club with you lot? what do I have to do?"Glenda looks a little confused, we thought you were cos of your helmet and all.The only thing your deadbeat father left you and your mother was a mandolorians helmet? either you're part mando or he'd killed a bounty hunter in his time, interesting."Whatever, we consider you part of the crew anyway, you've already proved yourself to us beyond leaps and bounds">>43983306"So, glenda, has any work popped up while you're here? anything I could help with for instance"She looks a bit more serious."We have two missions lined up, and we can pick either. Two votes for each one, and since we consider you a part of the team, you get the deciding vote. of which job to take.The first job is this, a Sith Lord is moving to a larger mansion, and we'd occupy the train moving his possessions to make sure that nothing is taken. fairly simple.The second job is a bank heist, but don't let that fool you, as much as you are guaranteed action in this one compared to the other, we know how many credits are take-able, and the pay ends up as less."You mull your options carefully, while still keeping an eye on the now standing up Padawans>First job>second Job>Neitherand >Follow padawans>Don't follow>execute murderhobo.exe (although i'd rather you didn't)
>>43983463>second Job>Follow padawans
>>43983463Id be inclined for neither but to be honest, whatever.>followDo we have any way to contact our companions?
>>43983650Comms and shit>>43983569So if we decide we want to do job when job date comes, then second,For now, follow timeI didn't even think of where they'd be goingwriting
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>43983683"well, i'll think about it, but i'm leaning towards the second one if I feel like it and nothing else comes up""Well don't be a stranger anyhow, they're not for a while, and bank heists can always be rescheduled for whenever!"You wave goodbye, and get to following the padawans, they'd see you following, but you're a small stealthy guy, so you follow them through the winding streets with no problem.eventually they come up into a warehouse district, and open upa awarehouse and file inside, checking to make sure nobody's followed them, not very well, and go in.This place is 20 feet tall, ahs several doors and openings, several access panels, and ventilation systems.>what do? be very specific, you want to burst through the wall then tell me if you want to shout "Oh yeah!" or "boogedy boo i'm the ghostly gazelle!">oh yeah, roll a 1d100 with your write in
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>43983791Find their exact location, wait to listen to their plan and then we actif they don't talk about it reveal yourself"Aha it is I, the great detective, gazelle, bounty hunter and force warrior"
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>43983825Shit roll desu senpai
Rolled 64 + 100 (1d100 + 100)>>43983842
>>43983842>>43983791try to pirouette from a ventilation duct and right in the middle of their groupTada!
>>43983846>>43983842>>43983825two shit rolls and a decent roll tbqh famalam>>43983868combining and writing
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>43983868You see a vent that looks big enough for you to climb in, and you do so, navigating the mess of metal and air until you get to an exit. You can see the three padawans disrobed (not in the buff just not in burkas anymore) and relaxing on edge, while another one stands in front of a hologram of a really authoritative looking Jedi sket."oh you must find peace and never lust blah blah blah" but then you wear that skimpy shit in front of the males, cunts.For a while, you listen in on their status report, boring stuff about guard schedules, and close calls with sith by masking their alignments or by using invisibility like they were taught.after awhile though, the conversation turns to you surprisingly"the last sith we saw was at a local watering hole"oh shit, this is gonna be so dramatic if you pull it offCharging your energy up, you leap from the vent in the wall and hit the best pirouetting of your life, must've spun at least 20 times in middair"Was it the same one flying towards you now?""ha ha very funny mast-"Two jedi including the one you cut off have now drawn and the others are jsut in shock"Well fantastic greetings to you all, for it is I! the Great detective, gazelle, bounty huner, and force warrior, extroadinaire!""Yes that's him master, the one who somehow rumbled us"You are having a hard time not re opening your wounds from laughing right now, but then the hologram speaks"What re your intentions towards my padawan and the jedi in general boy?">write in and roll 1d100
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>43984003To have fun and see the Galaxy!
>>43984003>>43984003I don't really care about the jedi or the sith, I mostly just want to have fun
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>43984003Don't really care about them, I was just curious. That and I saw a great opportunity for a joke, haha!are we the joker?
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>43984067Forgot dice
Rolled 5, 6, 8, 4 + 1 = 24 (4d10 + 1)You could lie to her.You could, but you instead tell the truth."I don't really care about the jedi or the sith, I mostly just want to have fun!"Blank stares all around"To have fun and see the galaxy!""Is that so?" Jedi Master Douche replies, "If that really was the case, then you wouldn't radiate such a large darkside aura, and you wouldn't have followed the padawans here"This cunt, Sith and Jedi alike, believe you when you lie, and interrogate you when you tell them the truth. You can't win."Honestly, I really couldn't care about any of this, I followed out of boredom and saw a good joke in the making. You have to admit, that shit was pretty funny"She chuckles, but you get the feeling it's more at you than with you."Well either way, we're going to have to detain you, you know too much. Padawans."Two more lightsabers are drawn and battle stances are taken.>write in what do? fight? surrender? more ghostly gazelle shit? not murderhoboing for once? murderhoboing everything?>write in with a 3d10 motherfucker
>>43984202Throw our pink dildo like a force boomerang to disarm them.Literally."Hey come on, I came here to have fun and you treat me like that? Is darkside just a codeword for 'stuff that ain't jedi but has the force'? You guys seem a bit prejudiced"
Rolled 6, 9, 7 = 22 (3d10)>>43984251forgoto daissu
Rolled 4, 5, 5 = 14 (3d10)>>43984202deflect their blows and play around for a while, ask them if they aren't being a bit agressive for a bunch of pacifist monks
Rolled 10, 3, 3 = 16 (3d10)>>43984298>>43984275>>43984202it's best of three right?
>>43984275>>43984251WellYou now know there padawans in desperate need of a cybernetic hand.the one padawan not affected steps up by this steps up and tells everyone to step down, that he'll handle "this sith trash"woo big words"hey come on now kid" you say to the padawan just a little under than two years older than you, "I come here to have fun and you treat me like this? Is "darkside" just a codeword for 'stuff that ain't jedi but has the force'? You guys seem prejudiced" Finishing off with at the hologram, spurning the padawan into actionHe's more than easy enough to handle, trying to exploit your fake openings, clashing his two sabers off your blade and saber repeatedly"For a bunch of pacifist monks, you guys are quite aggressive you know" and all it seems to do is make him hit harder and faster, not really a challenge though, as you knock away both of his lightsabers, and mindcrush him into a shouting heap on the floor, at your mercy."You've proven your point, just let them go!" General Thundercunt shouts at you from her comfy safe part of space through the hologram.>what do? could make jedi bitch do whatever you want, could just leave, could take every lightsaber in the room with some resistance, could kill everyone, the galaxy's your fucking oyster m8>also roll a 1d100 for whatever you do>>43984321yup, first roll passed crit'd three and kinda passed the last. other rolls didn't come close.
>>43984414three padawans*the one padawan not affected steps up and tells everyone else to step down*finishing off with winking at the hologram*damn embarrassing
>>43984414"Whoopdeefuckingdoo now they die! Nah just kidding.Hope your health plan covers prosthetic hands"Take the lightsabers and skeedaddle"You know, shouldn't you as their responsible be less eager to throw them at an enemy whose powers you aren't aware of? Jeez" Parting words!
>>43984414Tell her if she wants them to live she'll add us up on SpaceBook.
>>43984531ahaha>>43984489"If you really want them to live, you'll do something for me."W-what?""add me on spacebook. and don't remove me as soon as I leave either, cos i'll know, and i'll kill 'em for real"She's more surprised than anything, but she obliges, checking you comm, you accept her request. You can't pronounce her name due to the amount of accents and symbols, but yeah, definitely Togrutan in origin."Alright, i've added you...kryan, now let them go!""Whoop dee fucking doo, now they die!"Your grin goes to unknown lengths, and you savour the fear and despair in the master's eyes as you raise your saber... and then deactivate it."Nah just kidding, hope your health plan covers prosthetic hands you lot"The unconscious padawan's two lightsabers are added to your collection, aswell as a lightsaber each from two of the conscious padawan. However the last padawan, the unruliest refuses to just, HAND it over."I went through great trials for my lightsaber crystal! I'm ready for knighthood and everything, you can't do this! It chose me!""Well obviously if you were ready I wouldn't be taking it now would I?" you say as you wave at her, taking her saber. The funny thing about the two mind crushes you practiced today, with each one done, you felt the master writhe in pain as well, guess that's the master apprentice connection you've heard about."You know, since you're responsible for them, you shouldn't be so eager to throw them at an enemy whose powers your'e unaware of, jeez. Toodles!"With that you leave 5 lightsabers, 1 spacebook friend, and a bundle of fun richer.>what can you do now that could ever surpass that?>seriously though, write in what do
>>43984674Go find our buddies and practice lightsaber juggling, see if they're up for that heist
>>43984674check the masters space book pictures, kek
>>43984739Calm down general cheesus>>43984769there's nothing more you need to see really, but she does dress liek a stih, i.e, skimpy as fuck. Literally, the few bikini pictures she has on here actually show less than what she normally wears. Out of all the females of all the races, Torgrutan ones are the worst. Followed by bald ones, and then Zeltrons, but Zeltrons got that poon from the heavens so you can forgive them at least.---writing
>>43984860You currently have 7 lightsabers, ranging from weird pink dildo saber, to purple saber, to 5 of the assorted colours from the padawans. Also a sith bowie knife blade. You think that when you get back to the group, you'll attempt to juggle them all except the knife like some kind of street performer when you get back to your friendsarriving at the watering hole, you see Glenda simultaneously beat two people at arm wrestling at once, while pissed.This'll be good"Hey glenda, I think i'm up for taht heist, but come outside first, i got this real cool trick I wanna show ya""ffin surer lahd, eyll cum see iht"Wow, she really is drunkRoll 1d100 you juggly pricks
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>43984946BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>43984946Witness me
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>43984946
>>43984983>>43984973>>43984963Wheey, most important roll of the quest so far and you succeededI'd say sleepy anon did it but nahkeked out by one---writing
>>43985014Sleepy's roll was necessary to achieve even higher heights.
>>43985040Best of three bruv---You pause.You focus.You let your heartbeat by rhythmic and your hands be steady.You make the force your guide.You start juggling between two ACTIVATED lightsabers. Pretty impressive right? Glenda seems to think so. But we're not done yet.One after another, lightsaber after lightsaber goes into the juggle until 6 lightsabers spanning the hue of the rainbow are flying through the air.You slip out the pink dildo saber and throw it up aswell, keeping it suspended and spinning in the air with the force in the middle of the ring of sabers bouncing around it.You're sure it looks beautiful, but you're putting a lot of effort into not cheesing this with the force and using legit skill, so you can't tell.A couple of onlookers take photos, maybe you'll add them to spacebook, this'd make a great PFP."FUCKIN WOW MUSH, dat wassshhh top lyikeh, u neeeed to du it ugen sumtime" glenda remarks as she pukes and then passes out smiling. Thankfully the rest of group picks her up with a limb each as her designated jetpacker and flies off after telling you that you can meet tomorrow for heist planning.You saulte as they fly off, and ask some onlookers to send you their photos, and boy, do they look wizard.>what do now?
>>43985145Go find a place to rest.It was a fun and full day.
>>43985247You decide that this being such an eventful day, creating a viral video (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL) aswell as incapacitating a bunch of padawans and jacking their glowsticks, that you can now rest.You lay your head down and dream sweet happy dreams. Well you attempt to.You wouldn't be a ghostly gazelle without dreams of precognition would you.everything is real blurry, but from what you can make out, a cybernetic eye looks at your viral video, recognises one of the lightsabers, and is thrown into a fit of rage, calling for your head.wow, spooky dream brah.It's about 9am, or Korriban's equivalent, and it's a bright sunshiney day out, what do?>sith shit>heist shit>fun shit>write in shit
>>43985353>heist shit>fun shit
>>43985353>>write in shitLet's see if that teacher is up and show him all our new toys.
>>43985417And that receptionist, "Hey look, I killed some more Jedi!">She just sits there in absolute fear.
>>43985417>>43985433Later, you're outvoted for now, as funny as that would be.>>43985388>>43985380writing
>>43985433She probably saw the video.Actually, the whole sith academy saw the video.When we go back there I'll second your sugestion
For now you check in at the local watering hole with Glenda and the rest of her merry band of money making mandos to talk about progress on the heist job planning"Hey guys, how's shit going?"Surprisingly your shouting does nothing to unnerve glenda, either she has ear plugs in you can't see or she gets over hangovers pretty quick."Well, basically, we aren't after the money. well we are, in order to cover up what we're stealing. A really fancy hat from a safety deposit box. Apparently when a military officer caught a certain bounty hunter he took his hat as a memento. But the bounty hunter only got caught to break someone else out, and feels like a dickhead without his trademark hat. So he's paying us a small chunk of his fortune to get it back for him. So, we go in, tell the people to get down, you use your powers to scope out who's carrying and prevent them from carrying, we locate the lock box and scoop money while you work on crowd control and keeping any military or police from reaching us, and covering our escape"Huh, not so simple as hey first made it out to be, but okay."When are we doing this?""Tomorrow, we have an inside source who's given us the shutter codes to keep police away for as long as possible, but they only work on that day."So you've a day to prepare for the heist.> Any more questions, or actions, or straight off to the academy?
>>43985653"Sounds good." Off to the academy for fun times and receptionist harassment!
"Sounds good, glad I don't have to do any actual planning myself." You remark"can't let the new muscle of the team be the brains aswell, hurts our brand image"You wave goodbye and head off for a nice walk to the academy for some good old receptionist harassment.When you walk into the main lobby, stares are completely focused on you, and whispers fill your ears. Noticing the commotion, the receptionist looks up to see you leaning on the desk."So...">Write in +1d100
>>43985793"I have new toys now, wanna see?"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>43985793Wan sum fug?Only thing that hasn't happened in quest yet.
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>43985793"You know what's better than two sabers? Seven. Man these jedi just keep getting wrecked by me"Clean off sweat and sigh
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>43985843fucking laptop
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>43985845>>43985848>these rollsDisgusting
>>43985867>>43985862>>43985848>>43985845well 65 is above average
>>43985845Only thing that hasn't happened yet because 1. the force hasn't willed it yet, and B. there hasn't been a hint of zeltron since coruscant>>43985843>>43985845>>43985848>>43985862>>43985867writing, but anymore write ins will be put in if there's any>>43985884that pic tho
Rolled 57 (1d100)"Hey...""W-what??""I have new toys now, wanna see?"Should've expected to be blank faced by that."By which I mean, POW " you shout as you open up your coat, revealing your new gains, "what's better than two lightsabers? five more! These jedi scum just keep getting wrecked by me, it's not even funny anymore" You say wiping your sweat from your brow.Heh,y ou can feel the lust coming from her, just a little bit more and you're in, time for the final magical wordsYou lean in"Ayy bby" You proclaim, you can hear the level opening the floodgates now, just 4 more words until she splooshes for millenia and you ride that wave to flavourtown.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>43986035Im-Impossible, it works?
>>43986035You lean in even closer until your lips are nearly touching her ear"U want some su-""Hey Clatia, we've got that task force assembled to hunt down that weirdo, on your sig-"Deer in headlights all around.from her for being caught out gallivanting with the 'enemy'from the leader of the anti kyran task force meeting kyran face to face while he schmoozes the organiser of the anti kyran task forcefrom you for holy fuck m8 could you pick a worse time to come barging in about shit no one cares about saber blocking me like that, like holy shit bro. Who even is this nerfherder? You don't really care. Poon one day, gone tomorrow.>Should've rolled better>ahha what do blud? also roll 1d100
>>43986035Incoming force choke
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>43986119"These are not the weirdos you're looking for"
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>43986119"Wow you made a task force just for me? Are you like, my stalker now?"We should leave before everyone recover, time to run!
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>43986119Do I seriously have to keep beating people until you guys respect my shit?This is fucked up yo>utilize our force and juggling skills to make the fabled death circle of boomerange lightsabers
>>43986180>>43986158>>43986151I don't see a way to combine these threeW8in for another vote
>>43986210I'll just change mine to anon's..>>43986158
And I looked at himAnd he looked at meAnd I looked at himAnd he looked at me"Wow. You made a task force just for me? damn, are you like my stalker now?"He just keeps staring, still not sure if what he's seeing is real."wait wait, let me try something. I am not the weirdo you're looking for" you say as you wave at him, sending him into the territory of needing some heavy painkillers to the headache you just inflicted, shouting "holy emperor's anus!" on the way down. Oh yeah you can't do mind tricks, just mind crushes. guess he isn't looking for you right this moment anymore.while the two stooges who i conveniently forgot to mention help their leader up, you shout "i'll call you maybe" to the receptionist, and activate ghostly gazelle to get out of there.Fuck do you run.you've never had your own task force before, how quaint.>what do now?
>>43986344Write "Kyran wasn't here" on a wall, using our saber, then a few more in the same direction, then turn around and go in the different direction, write "Kyran went the other way" a couple of times.When done, run to a third direction and go find your buddies.
>>43986443I really admire this write inEdge point for a fuckup gainedI really don't know how to write it thoughlemme tryAfter running for a while, you come across a fork in the road. You come up with the world's most dastardly plan. This is evil genius tier?You begin carving "kyran wasn't here" on the walls in one fork, and "kyran went the other way" in a different fork. and then stroll your merry way down a different path, sure of yourself that nothing can get you.>what do now?
>>43986622Find the Mandos and gtfo. Also find some mothefucking gyro.
>>43986622Moonwalk away while laughing
>>43986661>gyrogrossYou moonwalk away with boisterous laughter and then realise, you're a wanted man, and a man left wanting.You send a message to the mandos to let them know to prep the ship since you're a wanted man in the eyes of the sith and all, and to get ready to head to orbit.But for now?Your'e for some fucking gyro>where/how do you acquire gyro, specify hard>write in>tricks>contacts>pub crawling>find any girl on the street that takes ya fancy
>>43986804Use you hacking skills to be super edgy and broadcast yourself on every monitor on the planet, setting the authorities on a wild goose chase while you leave.
>>43986874roll 1d100 senior cockblock
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>43986874
>>43987063>under a fifthokayWellIt takes you a while but you finally manage to find an access panel near a comms towerWhen you start broadcasting your message however, you realise that silent alarms have been tripped for your location, and you only streamed to the sith code bashing emperor network, and only at 480p so your face looked a bit pixely. In any case the sith now have an idea of where you are making your earlier brilliant diversions worthless, and they're angry.>what do now
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>43987172Disrobe and run around naked screaming the pudding!! Before stealing a gyro and leaving the planet.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>43987172Challenge the sith.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>43987172Moon the screen and call the Sith "absolutely disgusting" while reciting a modified navy seals copypasta
>>43987216>>43987228>>439872471, 13, and 69ugh okaywriting
You decide to challenge the sith once and for all, by mooning them on their own channel."This is my ass, the one that's taken the fight to you, and the one that's avoided any consequences. what are you gonna do about it, you absolutely disgusting red jedi?I'll have you know i've been in numeral imperial raids, and have over 300 confirmed lightsabers...."---a minute later, you duck on instinct and see the panel you'd so amazingly hacked sizzle out, bolted to smithereens.---Well i'm lazy so here seems like a good time to stop.Next run probably mondayI made a twitter to update if you actually care here: https://twitter.com/WynautQMi'll archive it now
>>43987402ArchivedGoodnight any and all, thanks for playing.seeya round