>>43921283

YES.

YES.

YES.

HYPE.

Ring dorf's doorbell, leave Bare outside. Observe reaction.

>>43921302
>>43921283
Let's get us some Dorfs!

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You approach the entrance. Seems like someone is hanging around out front.

>>43921411

Holy shit. These dorfs have their shit together.

The real question is, should we run them out of house and home, redecorate the statues, and turn this place into ORC VEGAS?

Play cards with the doorman.

>>43921411
>Inspect someone

>>43921411
trade knowledge of superior ork card games for fine weaponry

>>43921411
We must first CLOSEly ins[ect this individual

>>43921631
Arrest him and inform the Dwarves inside that they caught a bandit, ask for a reward in payment of beer.

>>43921631

Wow, is this guy the world's worst spy or what? Apprehend this knave! The orks of ORC VEGAS do not tolerate unfair play!

Bring him to the beard midgets as a gift.

>>43921631
Ask skinny dorf for directions

>>43921631
Challange this swell guy to a Card Game! If you win he is now your property (to sell to the dwarfs)

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Im still holding out for ork casino. Fine fucking threads op

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>>43921723

that pic

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Look at this guy's big smile. Clearly he can be trusted. Ask him what he knows of dorfs.

>>43921723
pfffhahahaha

>>43921723
I love you Anon

>>43921631
Introduce him to the bliss that is the Katamari Bear!

>>43921631
ask this elf why he does not just fly into the fort.

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>>43921662
>>43921673

>>43922098
Lefty fucked it up again. Good Job Lefty
>Throw Lefty at Elf

>>43922098
HE'S A WITCH, RUN

>>43922098
Quick, kick the ball so he falls and gets stuck!

>>43922098

SNEAKY SNEAKY ELF.

Kick bare katamari, maybe he'll get stuck to it.

>>43922098
Tell Bare to grab that cheeky asshole.

>>43922098
He stands upon the sticky ball. His doom is complete

>>43922098
accuse lefty of being a secret elf.

>>43922098
Laugh as he(?) has just sealed his doom by standing on our bear trap

>>43922098
He better not fly away with that elf ball

>>43922098
>>43922146
This. Secret bare attack, go!

>>43922126
>>43922145
>>43922146
>>43922152
>>43922181
>>43922228

I fear this fellow may be too slick to stick to our BARE TRAP, but I feel we must at least make an attempt at capturing him.

>>43922311
He doesn't have to stick to it, he just has to not realize that there's a bear under all that honey and elf ass that's about to maul his face off.

Harness the collective magical power of all the elves stuck to the Katamari Bear. Use it to stick thief to bear.

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>>43922126
>>43922145

>>43922381

Skullcrotch is top smug.

Bare katamari is our carriage now. Let's see if Lefty and Righty can roll us to the dorf door.

That was a 10/10 dropkick btw

>>43922381
jump out of the bare

>>43922381
ask our new katamari material if he/she is willing to play card games

>>43922381
genuss

>>43922432
second

>>43922381

Find puckish rogue. Remove his mask. Add it to skull codpiece.

>>43922432

YES.

You are now under the control of the ork warband. And you. Will. Gamble.

>>43922381
>>43922432
Yes. As long as we're stuck here, might as well play a game. We can use this to teach trollcat how to play, as well, let him watch us to pick up some tips.

>>43922381
apologize to bare for kick

>>43922381
Remove rogue mask, add to face for the stats
Then play cards with him

I wonder if we can ask the dorfs to coat our Cards in gold?

>>43922381
unmask the rogue.

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>>43923015
>>43922454
>>43922454
sorry about the wait

>>43923115
This is an unexpected twist. I blame lefty

>>43922454
Definitely this. We need something to mark our progress.

>>43923115
So... it's an elf. Shock and awe!

NOW can we play some damn cards? Trollcat's not gonna learn how to play if we just sit here fucking around.

>>43923115
put it back

>>43923115
Ask if it's a guy or a girl

>>43923115
Montage of multiple facial reactions from everyone there, even the skull codpiece because of the reveal.

>>43923115
Draw a skull on his face to make him look more rad.

>>43923115
Put in mask and play cards so troll cat can learn.

>>43923115
make a card with a picture of her face on it. She shall be the first of the ultra rare waifu series cards.

>>43923160
seconded

>>43923156
It's an elf, the answer to that question is "yes".

>>43923115
Found our first brood mother.

Play cards with her. If she wins she becomes chiefs mistress. Is she loses she becomes hordes mistress.

>>43923115
Jesus man, that elf is a qt

Keep her on the ball for safekeeping

>>43923115
ask her to teach us the magic that makes her face so. we need it in order to help market the ork-sino.

>>43923115
Defeat in game of cards, acquire the booty

>>43923196
seconded

>>43923125
>>43923135
>>43923166
>>43923163
This

>>43923115

The tricksy elf can't hide it's face for bluff advantage now!

Time for cards. Cards with our new PIRATE SKULL CODPIECE buffs.

Maybe have Trollcat knock on the BEARD MIDGIT door.

>>43923115

We found our first casino waitress! Hopefully one of many. Good work, boys.

Bare deserves a treat.

>>43923220
Bare can take a regular boring elf. But the she-elf belongs to us

Shifty Elf lewds when?

>>43923255

Elfs is tricksy...we don't know if it's a girl elf yet.

Then again.........maybe that doesn't matter.

>>43923255

Whaaa.

I meant give him a rabbit or scratch behind his ears.

Jesus man, we aren't gonna FEED her to bare.

>>43923304
It's an elf, that means it's a girl. Even if it's a boy elf, it's a girl. How many times do I have to say this?

>>43923306
You must be new. Bare is covered in regular woodland elves.

>>43923160
this

>>43923160
This should be cool.

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>>43923160
>>43923174

Commence card games.

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>>43923473

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>>43923473

That reaction montage. I can't breathe.

>>43923473
We have to Finally Mark Lefty
Draw a big L on his Head with Honey.
Then beat the Elf in Card game to show dominance

>>43923473

Have Trollcat pull us out of bare katamari.

We have beard midgets to talk to.

>>43923473
Can somebody give Bare a hug so he won't be so sad?

you play CARDS with the ROGUE

>>43923546

Seconding moral support for Bare. He masterminded operation ork katamari,

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>>43923583
Just look at the poor guy. He needs a hug or something to get him out of bear-depression. Orks should find a she-bear.

Bear vs. Rogue card game. During this, teach the Bear how to play, hug it, and make it happy.

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>>43923473

Holy shit. I'm dying.

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Make she-elf new cheerleader of warband

>>43923693
SECONDED

>>43923693
This, but also the banner holder/bare hugger

>>43923693
thirded

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>>43923505
>>43923556

>>43923738
Well, who won? This is very important!

>>43923738

Beautiful.

We need to make a wager here, don't we?

If she wins, we give her back her rogue mask.

If she loses, she becomes the warband cheerleader / dedicated hugger of Bare and Trollcat.

>>43923757
Seconded.

>>43923757
>>43923751
dice+1d100

roll a d100 high for victory

>>43923738

>Dat ear-wiggle

Elf has a tell. Exploit this weakness for max damage.

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>43923775
Exploit the tell!

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>43923775
oops

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>43923775

>>43923738
That look is a look of sheer determination. I think we might actually have to take her seriously as an opponent.

That left ear's twitching, though, I think she has a tell. Use that to our advantage, and show trollcat how a real pro plays.

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>43923775

>>43923789
Well shit, it's her warband now.

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>>43923789

>Skullcrotch begins to laugh maniacally while looking at his hand
>He falls over backward and dies of internal hemorrhaging
>Dr. Bare declares his death is due to gambling overdose
>ORC VEGAS is outlawed forever
>the warband belongs to elf qt now

I hope you're proud of yourself, anon. You killed the dream.

>>43923757

Plus she must wear micro bikini if she lose...

>>43923790
She probably cheated! Sneaky-types do that right?

>>43923775

>>43923797
>>43923810
Does this mean that we're the cheerleader now?

>>43923814
Lefty's giving her signals behind our back.

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>>43923789

>>43923825

Skullcrotch must be granted two additional skulls for his bikini top!

>>43923789
>>43923797
Ork Quest is now Elf Quest. Cutest warchief will now take control of the horde.

>>43923853
It doesn't matter who leads the warband, so long as they have the Katamari Bear and the dream of establishing Vegas.

HEZ DA KUTEST HES WARCHEIF

Rolled 39 (1d100)

Rolling to win back our title in the 2nd round

Rolled 40 (1d100)

If we lose, we will seduce the elf rogue with our orc charm.

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>43923902
Well I mean it can't get much worse can it?

>>43923919
I think we won. I mean we did write the rules after all

>>43923789
This calls for a secret inversion play! The loser is now the winner!

>>43923926

That, and if the ear-tell does help, we can always resort to the greatest of Orcish strategies: WE CHEAT.

Rolled 92 (1d100)

Rolling to seduce if we lose the cardgames

We ought to be fine if the highest roll is used rather than the first.

>>43923926
>>43923938
"But i won fair and square?"
"Datz ze rulz . D'ork winz every time!"

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>>43923789

>>43923957
But it's best of three!!

>>43923957
Switch perspective to elf. Add defeated warchief to the Katamari Bear.

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>43923957

I think we activated her trump card, guys.

Roll to seduce?

>>43923957
Reveal our trump card!
Alternatively try to make a trump card while she's distracted. It's our card game after all.

>>43923957
EXODIA! OBLITERATE!

>>43923957
Continue Quest to get out of the Shadow Realm

>>43923957

Well. I think we might have died. If not, cheat.

>>43923977

Make a trump card with DOBBY'S NOSE.

There is no counter.

>>43923957
She has won. Which means she becomes the chieftans mistress instead of a plaything of the horde.

Point out that she cheated. But it was a pretty good cheat so she is forgiven

>>43923957
ALL HAIL CUTEST WARCHIEF!

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>43923957
MY (stolen) DECK HAS NO USELESS CARDS!
Heart of the Cards power activate

>>43923957

This is the most intense game of Yu-Gi-Ork! ever. Keep him/her as your card waifu in the BARE KATAMARI.

>>43924091
Guys we won back our title. But the she-elf has our respect now

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>>43924093
>Yu-Gi-Ork!

>>43924064

Do we give her the codpiece?

>>43923957
She activated the trap card M.A.D.

>>43924124
It's only proper.

>>43924124
>Do we give her the codpiece?
Of course. It's the mark of office, after all.

>>43924145
>trap card
All elf cards are trap cards.

>>43924221
Even in poker.

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>>43923967
ELF ROGUE QUEST

You heard a rumor that the Dwarves have some sweet gems and you want them. What do?

>>43924124

I think the first anon to suggest a wager for the game proffered her facemask back as a reward.

>>43924233
Command new Orc Army to open break open the Door.

>>43924233
Get Warband to distract dwarves with card games. Sneak Katamari Bear in, and have it roll all the gems onto itself.

>>43924233

Bowl Bare katamari in there like a sticky ball of doom and destruction.

>>43924239

DISREGARD. Make orks and trollcat open door.

>>43924233
Compose a poem about how you're going to steal jewels

>>43924233
>>43924250
Brilliant plan!

>>43924233
You've got minions now. Tell them to figure it out.

>>43924246
>>43924250
>>43924252
>>43924253
Stop thinking like an orc. We elf now.

>>43924233

Who needs gems when you can get a dope skull codpiece and ribcage armband?

There are beard midgets behind those doors that have yet to be introduced to the wonders of Yu-Gi-Ork!

>>43924233
Use your warband and gamble the dwarves into giving you all their stuff

>>43924233
Hug the fucking bear.

Or fuck it if that's her thing.

>>43924281
We are an elf with a Katamari Bear. The solution to everything is therefore Katamari Bear.

>>43924297
Katabeari. Jeez, it's like you people don't even live on the internet or something.

Obviously we regenerate using amazing orc genes, sneak attack, reclaim warband and get going.
i didn't sign up for female elf quest, baka

>>43924337
same, not digging this change

>>43924337
>>43924350
Screw you nerds, make your own quest

I for one, welcome our new Elven overlords

>>43924337
>>43924350
Then leave, cry babies. Deal with our failure or get the fuck out.

>>43924354
Overlord. Just one: Cutest Warchief. Those other elfs can go fuck themselves. Which, judging by the moans, is what they've been doing since we left the forest anyway.

>>43924233
Use the troll to open the doors.

>>43924375
use door to open troll.

>>43924337
>>43924350

>roll a nat 1 on 1d100
>waahhhhhh consequences

That was the roll of the century, anons.

ORC VEGAS is about a dream. A vision for the future, where gambling habits can be stoked and fanned like fire! It is not about the pride, or even the legacy of one mere ork that defines everything that is ORC VEGAS. ORC VEGAS is a concept. It cannot be bound by your petty sense of protagonist, antagonist, and natural crits. It supersedes all these things.

ORC VEGAS lives on in the hearts of everyone who gambles for stakes they don't really feel like paying. ORC VEGAS lives in all of us.

Including Cutest Warchief.

ROB BEARD MIDGETS

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>>43924246
>>43924253
>>43924250
>>43924262

>>43924398
Dang this warband is already paying off!

>>43924398
console the orcs for what to write next

>>43924398
Hug Katamari Bear.

What happened to the old Warchief anyway? Did he pass out from us pulling out Exodia in the middle of a game of poker?

>>43924398
ahaha nice
>>43924394
I didn't roll 1d100 blud
and that's what i'm annoyed about
why play some animal elf gem fiend when i could be ruler of ork vegas
>>43924405
seconded

>>43924408
You can see three dark shapes (our orks) opening the door. Old Chief is still around, he has simply acknowledged his superior.

>>43924398

QTest Warchief: Acquired.
Dorf door: Opened.
Poetry status: fire/10.

TIME FOR TACTICAL ORK WARFARE. DEFEND THE WARCHIEF, ACQUIRE DORFS ON BARE KATAMARI

>>43924419
>why play some animal elf gem fiend when i could be ruler of ork vegas
Who says Cutest Warchief can't be ruler of Ork Vegas?

>>43924430
Exactly.

>>43924430
Me
Also "ork vegas"
>>43924436
y'all just wait till the orks back in charge

>>43924398
>>43924405
Consult*
Then, sit on troll's head, have troll roll elfball and ride into dorf fort, for filthy lucre!

>>43924441
>Me
You're wrong.

>Also "ork vegas"
We're elf now, gotta be civilized.

>>43924441
The wheel will turn, friend. Soon, the orks will reemerge as the rightful leaders.

>>43924398

"At card-games I rule"
"Took this Orc to school"
"And made him look a fool"
"There's two 'U's in 'Zuul"

>>43924446

This is a great idea. Trollcat is our new mount.

>>43924449
>We're elf now, gotta be civilized.

>implying ork vegas was ever going to be anything other than the classiest gambling venue in all of fantasyland

2 0 1 5
0
1
5

>>43924451
Orks are NOT the rightful leaders. Katamari Bear is. It's kinda like a Church really, the Popes can change, but God does not.

>>43924441
>Also "ork vegas"
Nah man it'll be just like how countries ended up with foreign dynasties in charge all the time.

>>43924457
I love it

>>43924430
I just want to go on a rampage/quest with my ork buddies in the pursuit of the dream that is ork vegas

>>43924471
We kinda are already. We're just gathering the funds needed to start it.

I mean remember, we're playing as an elf who agreed to a card game where we bet our freedom and our opponent bet our old facemask. I really don't think we are opposed to gambling.

>>43924479
If anything, we might have a SLIGHT gambling addiction. We elven head of orc mob now.

>>43924471
We need to get the orcs pinstripe suits.

>>43924471

>gambling's only cool so long as i never lose

Aaaaaaand we found the anon who has never gambled before. Luck always turns, friend. Skullcrotch will rise once more, with a vengeance.

In the meantime, come enjoy CUTEST WARCHIEF with us. Let's rob some dorfs blind and get seed money for ORC VEGAS.

Oh, and hug Bare.

We just need to remember to only ever bet the title of Warchief.

Since we control the Warchief, that means that even if we lose, we'll just switch characters while keeping all our progress.

Ork Vegas is inevitable. The Katamari Bear wills it.

This band of orks have so valiantly brought reinforcements. Set them free inside and have trollcat chase them. While that is going on orks roll Bare through barracks to mop up sleeping beard midgits. Leader steals shinies.

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anybody home?

>>43924526
Won't work. Trollcat is mount now.

>>43924532
go forth and disarm the traps like the good rogue we are.

make sure to pickpocket everyone we pass on the way there

>>43924532
Hug Katamari Bear and let it take point. If anything attacks, it's weapon/projectile/spell will just get added to the Katamari.

>>43924532

This smells like a trap.

Make Lefty go first.

>>43924532

Do these orks have darkvision? What do our beady Orc eyes see? Peer into the void to survey this cavern.

>>43924532
Orks- sneak like the sneakiest sneak that ever sneaked

Elf - puzzle over how to climb trollcat

BARE- link honey off paw

trollcat- poke statues

>>43924550
Lefty- pick up bearded midget

>>43924504
It wasn't my roll, hell I didn't even vote to gamble with the rogue. no point in me staying salty though, It's still entertaining

>>43924532
Welp, dorfs dug too deep. Time to add Balrog to the horde.

>>43924586

>time to geek balrog at cards

ftfy

>>43924592
Well, obviously. How else do we add someone to the horde?

>>43924532
Attempt to construct a torch using a portion of the warbanner, the elfs bandanna and residual bear honey as a binding agent

light via scraping of cat troll claws against wall to acquire sparks.

>>43924598
Bribing with honey. Katamari Bear. Seduction rolls.

>>43924602
Why would we burn our pimpin BANDIT MASK? Without it we're a hentai elf

>>43924550
>>43924562
Seconding all of this

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>>43924547

>>43924673
Card is obvious trap. Send Lefty to get it.

>>43924673
Roll Katamari Bear over the departed soul of the corpse. It shall become the Katamari Phylactery Bear. A self contained afterlife of gambling and cardgames. Upon this corner-bear we shall establish Orc Vegas.

>>43924673
GET THAT RARE CARD! ADD IT TO DECK AND REMATCH WITH STUPID ELF LADY!

>>43924673
Ork- take card

Lefty- wander off towards noises

>>43924673
This card must be approached with caution. But remember, you could use it to win back your position as chief!

>>43924673
Claim card and sord for self, make other orks carry torches.

>>43924673
Ninja-guardian mode! Somersault towards the sword, swoop it up with your feet and dive towards the card, defending it from every angle!

>>43924673
TerminatOrk 2: Card Harder

>>43924673
>Terminator-vision
Holy shit you beautiful bastard

>>43924688
>>43924689
>>43924692
>>43924693

Card is priority. Have Trollcat escort you, approach it with caution and claim it. Post up other Orcs facing the smelie and noysie halls.

>>43924673
Arm bare with sord

>>43924466
I know
doesn't mean I have to be happy about it though.
>>43924471
we can only hope so friend
>>43924673
Have lefty retrieve skull crotch card
elf loot bodies
troll and last orc check out noises

Get Trollcat in as backup. Trollcat stronk

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>>43924742
>>43924689
>>43924688
>>43924692
>>43924693
>>43924723
>>43924733

>>43924924
like a boss.

>>43924924
Challenge the concept of Death itself to a card game. If it wins, it "only" has to resurrect the corpse and return its soul. If it loses however, it must become our cheerleader.

>>43924924
>That pose

Dramatic reveal of the card! IS IT RARE?! IS IT SHINY?!

>>43924934
DO IT. We need Dorf Follower!

>>43924934
I don't think we can manifest the concept of death.

>>43924924
Sunrays, doves and explosions of awesome to go with that sweet dismount and pose!

>>43924947
We can certainly try.

>>43924934
>>43924947
Do you think Death is still taking game challenges after his last match of Catan?

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>>43924924
>>43924952
Pic Related

>>43924941

Inspect our prizes for awesomeness.

>>43924947
What do you think our new card is for?

>>43924991
If we don't look, maybe revealing it dramatically in our next card game will help us win it?

>>43924991
MEGABARE CARD! TRANSFORMS BARE INTO MEGABARE!

or not

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>>43924924
>sword is glowing because orcs is nearby

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>>43924941

>>43925074
Duel it into submission through a card game!

>>43925074
OH FUCK

>>43925074
oh nice, I hear the Japanese foils usually go for a higher price then the regular ones

>>43925074
Seems like a fine card! Put it in our deck and carry on!
Use dead Dorf as Dorf-disguise

>>43925074
wave back to the creature within.

>>43925074
TIME TO D-D-D-DUEL (the card)

>>43925089
THIS.
Be friendly to the cards, trust in the heart of the cards.

>>43925074
wave back and duel it if necessary
don't re challenge the elf with it, it might take our soul/warband

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Alright I really need to sleep. Ork Quest will continue on thursday evening (-8 GMT)

>>43925172
Thanks for running.

>>43925172
Thank you OP.

>>43925172
Egads, a macaroni wizard.

Thanks op

>>43925172

Godspeed, and goodnight, Based Anon.

Also, that man has macaroni in his beard. Let us hope he's nothing more than a friendly Pasta Wizard.

>>43925172
Probably the best thing I've read on /tg/ in months. Quality work my friend.