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>>43680358
Doomgirl's ugly laughter cuts her off. "Hah! You can't count."

Myrra's too taken back to even look affronted. "... what?"

"Two favors, sweet cheeks." The marine holds up two fingers, waggling them side to side. "Pretending I didn't insult you, and giving me a warning. One, two. Two favors. Shit, Myrra, your ego's pushing all them numbers out your brain. I expected better from a fellow veteran."

Arfoire's lackey starts turning red, then purple, and you're suddenly glad you're perched a dozen yards above them instead of sharing the asteroid with those two. Still, you use this silence to grab the miniature hammer emblem dangling from your neck, and scream at Doomgirl through Dwarf Therapist.

>Fuck's sake- what're you doing!? She's a goddamned spellcaster, AND she's stupidly strong just by being Arfoire's ally! Shoot her with guns!!

"Shut up!" Myrra shrieks, utterly shattering her cool composure by shaking her fists like an angry child- for a panicked moment, you think she hears you, but she's clearly screaming at Doomgirl. "I'll! I'll end you, you- you pathetic wretch! Wriggling worm! You're nothing more than a random encounter on an easy-level map!"

"Nah, nah, I know what I'm doing," Doomgirl says soothingly, ignoring the spellcaster- she's talking to you. Maybe. "I can take her. I can totally take her."

"Stop that!" Faster than a Wild West gunslinger, Myrra casts and hurls a fireball in one fluid motion, forcing Doomgirl to sidestep. "I won't fall for your crazy act! You AND your voices will grovel at my feet before I'm done with you!!"

(Cont.)

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>>43680382
((C'mon, Urist, we aren't gonna watch them banter all day, are we??)) You wince at Neptune's voice ringing through your head. Armok preserve you, you NEED this goddess outta your brain. ((We gotta help her! She's your friend! And you're the main character!))

You just met her yesterday, you growl in response. It's half-hearted, though, because she's right- you've got to do SOMETHING.

... come to think of it, you came here to save an adventurer, right? Tiff, who wields one mean (and inaccurate) bazooka. You don't see her anymore; maybe she's still crawling around the inside of that hollow asteroid Doomgirl and Myrra are fighting on. Hopefully, she isn't planning on running for the hills; you can SENSE her with Therapist, but you can't tell her that you're here to help.

[ ] [CROSSBOW SUPPORT] Myrra hasn't seen you yet, and you're sitting in a good sniping position. Give Doomgirl some fire support, and fill that fucking spellcaster with crossbow bolts.
[ ] [SUMMON SOMETHING] Maybe this time, your summoning powers will have adjusted to the hyperdimensional void; either way, Doomgirl's job will be made easier by a critter chewing on Myrra's ass. Third time's the charm.
[ ] [SEARCH AND TEAM UP] Go into the hollow asteroid while Myrra is distracted and look for Tiff. Get her to work with you and Doomgirl. If Tiff flees, then all this bullshittery will be for nothing.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43680399
>[x] [SEARCH AND TEAM UP] Go into the hollow asteroid while Myrra is distracted and look for Tiff. Get her to work with you and Doomgirl. If Tiff flees, then all this bullshittery will be for nothing.
We'll start with a sneaking mission, of which dwarves are so famously capable of... wait, they aren't?

>>43680399
>[ ] [SUMMON SOMETHING] Maybe this time, your summoning powers will have adjusted to the hyperdimensional void; either way, Doomgirl's job will be made easier by a critter chewing on Myrra's ass. Third time's the charm.

>THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM!

It's gonna work this time, I can feel it.

>>43680399
>[ ] [SUMMON SOMETHING] Maybe this time, your summoning powers will have adjusted to the hyperdimensional void; either way, Doomgirl's job will be made easier by a critter chewing on Myrra's ass. Third time's the charm.

No way this will backfire. And if ti does, we're sitting out of reach. Hopefully.

>>43680399
>[x ] [SEARCH AND TEAM UP] Go into the hollow asteroid while Myrra is distracted and look for Tiff. Get her to work with you and Doomgirl. If Tiff flees, then all this bullshittery will be for nothing.
lets rescue tiff, doomgirl totally has this covered

>>43680399
>[ ] [SUMMON SOMETHING] Maybe this time, your summoning powers will have adjusted to the hyperdimensional void; either way, Doomgirl's job will be made easier by a critter chewing on Myrra's ass. Third time's the charm.

>>43680399
>[ ] [SEARCH AND TEAM UP] Go into the hollow asteroid while Myrra is distracted and look for Tiff. Get her to work with you and Doomgirl. If Tiff flees, then all this bullshittery will be for nothing.

>>43680399
>[ ] [CROSSBOW SUPPORT] Myrra hasn't seen you yet, and you're sitting in a good sniping position. Give Doomgirl some fire support, and fill that fucking spellcaster with crossbow bolts.

>>43680399
>[ ] [SEARCH AND TEAM UP] Go into the hollow asteroid while Myrra is distracted and look for Tiff. Get her to work with you and Doomgirl. If Tiff flees, then all this bullshittery will be for nothing.

Getting between the embodiment of range and lady "I shit spells from every orifice" seems like a bad idea.

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>>43680399
>[ ] [SEARCH AND TEAM UP]
Reposting this from last thread. It's a shitty photoshop job made in only a few minutes, but I like it.

>>43680399
>[SEARCH AND TEAM UP] Go into the hollow asteroid while Myrra is distracted and look for Tiff. Get her to work with you and Doomgirl. If Tiff flees, then all this bullshittery will be for nothing.
So is Myrra hunting down Tiff in revenge for a jar of piss to the face?

>>43680665
That is fucking horrifying.

>>43680665
>and when you gaze long into the Nep, the Nep also gazes OUT OF YOU

>>43680665
>JesusChristHowHorrifying.png

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>>43680665
Oh god, she really is Neptizing!

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>>43680665
anon

anon, why

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>>43680718
Because of the memes, Blorp. The memes.

They control everything we do, don't you see?

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>>43680697
In the forsaken realms of the hyperdimension, there are only Neps.

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>>43680816
I prefer the original edit. Less clutter.

>>43680816
Jesus that's terrifying.

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>>43680665

In hyperdimension no-one can hear you Nep.

>>43680399
>[X] [SUMMON SOMETHING] Maybe this time, your summoning powers will have adjusted to the hyperdimensional void; either way, Doomgirl's job will be made easier by a critter chewing on Myrra's ass. Third time's the charm.

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I'm too easily amused by these spritesheets.

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>>43680399
>[X] [SEARCH AND TEAM UP]

You think back to both times you sensed Tiff through Therapist: she was running, and she was running /fast/, bouncing across the floating islands of the void like a hyperactive pinball. Once the fireworks start between Myrra and Doomgirl, you have a hunch that she won't stick the fuck around, and wouldn't THAT be the kicker?

Neptune whines in your head a little more. ((Uuuuuriiiiiist-))

Goddammit- calm down, you'll be back for her in a bit, you'll just- you're gonna go check on that other adventurer, alright? For... for glorious team-ups, you and your new friend swooping in together to save the day!

((Ooh, now THERE'S an idea! Go forth, my trusty steed, and show them the meaning of Nep!))

You slap yourself in the face.

((Ow!))

You slap yourself in the face again.

((Owww! That's not fair! Stop hitting yourself, Urist! Fine, fine, I'll stop backseat driving!))

You shake your head, cheeks throbbing. Sheesh. You liked it better when you didn't have to justify your own damn choices to the goddess hitchhiking in your brain.

Time's a-wasting, so you slide down the side of your floating island, trying to skirt around Myrra's field of vision, and make the short jump to the asteroid. Not that you need any help sneaking around; she's spitting mad and hurling all sorts of destructive spells at the dodging marine, and the concussive forces all but muffle the sound of your movement (though it does nothing to mask the sound of Myrra's enraged shrieks).

You have no idea what Doomgirl's plan is, but she's certainly pissing off that bitch to no end, huh?

Soon enough, your boots crunch against the craggy surface of the asteroid's interior tunnel. Cursory examination doesn't reveal any ores or any reason for the damn thing's existence OR why you're still able to breathe here, but that's perfectly fine with you.

(Cont.)

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>>43680816
Son you ain't seen nothin' yet

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>>43681163
for the peace of mind it gives you, you're perfectly willing to buy into the imperfect illusion that you're underground again. Even if it IS an underground that's being shaken by the apocalyptic battle taking place ABOVE ground.

Breathing in deeply, you take one step forward and nearly get your head taken off by a hail of bullets- you catch a glimpse of some sort of turret before you duck back behind the wall.

"Watch your step there, partner," a low voice drawls, in an accent wholly different from what you'd been expecting. "I've got this whole place on lock-down, and it'd be a real pity if you got a few more breathing holes. You still gotta preach the word of Arfoire, and THEN I get the satisfaction of shooting you."

... well, that's good, because you're not WITH Arfoire.

There's a chuckle from the unseen Tiff, her voice changing again. Where the hell IS she...? "Talk's cheap, so how about we settle this the old-fashioned way?"

Suddenly, it gets very, very hot-

(Cont.)

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>>43681184
>Urist Twelfthbay rolls to roll!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 70; bonus: +5!

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>43681199
Welp

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>43681199
This will end well

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>43681199

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>43681199
>>43681199

>>43681199

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>43681199

blorp dice everyone.

>>43681205
>>43681209
>>43681213
31 plus 59 plus 10 makes it over 75, right? Right!

>>43681209
>64
Could have been worse

>>43681218
roll faster damn it, we need to smell less like magma.

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>>43681205
>>43681209
>>43681213
Well shit

>>43681218
Why

>>43681163
>You slap yourself in the face.
>((Ow!))
>You slap yourself in the face again.
>((Owww! That's not fair! Stop hitting yourself, Urist! Fine, fine, I'll stop backseat driving!))
Neptune and Dorf share senses.

We must find a way to get our hands on some eggplants, stat.

>>43681218
Okay, whose job was it to make the weekly sacrifice this week?

>>43681233
>Why
Because Nep

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>>43681299
You know it didn't have to be like this

>>43681320
Don't call it a grave...

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>>43681199
>>43681184
>DC: 70; bonus: +5
>59...........
>FAILED!

And just like that, you're on fire- or rather, you're currently !!Urist Twelfthbay!!. Through the flashing red-and-yellow lights, you see Tiff cackling at you- looking completely goddamned different now, a part of you notes- as you flail around aimlessly.

"Oh, c'mon now!" Tiff capers around you, holding her flamethrower above her head like a goddamned baboon. "How're you gonna fight that caster bitch if you can't dodge a simple flamethrower blast, huh? How're you gonna fight ARFOIRE!? Here, lemme give you some more of this-"

And then, good news! Another voice cuts in, interrupting her. The bad news is, it's also coming from Tiff's mouth. "Come ON, you idiot! We don't have time for this. Put the Fräulein out, now, and let's get back to business at hand-"

(Cont.)

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>>43681431
It is the future you chose

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>>43681473
It's like a floodgate has been opened. The effect is a little disturbing, as Tiff's head twitches from side to side, hopping from accent to accent as she debates with herself.

"Hey, c'mon, she's got a point, right? If she ain't fast, she can't keep up with yours truly-"

"You fool! She can sneak, no? If she made it here unnoticed by those up above, then she can recover our briefcase-"

"Hah! She is a tiny little baby. What chance does she have at finding the briefcase? I say, we find another group to ally with, see if they can't find Dao-"

"Nah. For all we know, partner, she and her friend up there are the only ones out here. If anyone has a chance to find Dao, it's them."

"I agree. No more running, maggots! We stand and fight right here, right now, and take back what's ours! Now are we gonna vote democratically, or are we gonna lay about like a bunch of filthy commies?"

... maybe... maybe you should say something here.

[ ] [AAGHHAHHAHAHAHAAGH] FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK, EXTINGUISH THIS !!FIRE!!.
[ ] [ARFOIRE] If Tiff wants a crack at Arfoire, then she'd damn well better join your group. You're the best chance she's got. Probably.
[ ] [BRIEFCASE] Fine, fine! You'll help her grab this briefcase of hers.
[ ] [DAO] ... as much as you hate to say it, you CAN help her find Dao. Even though she's a dumbass.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43681473
>Put the Fräulein out
Oh shit. I don't know if not-so-mysteriously white milk is better than the alternative.

>>43681491
> [DRINK] WAIT NO ALOCHOL FIRES BAD
> [BASE] We have a base, you don't.

>>43681491
[ ] [AAGHHAHHAHAHAHAAGH] FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK, EXTINGUISH THIS !!FIRE!!.

>>43681474
When did Chika wear this?

>>43681491
>[x] [AAGHHAHHAHAHAHAAGH] FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK, EXTINGUISH THIS !!FIRE!!.
>[x] [ARFOIRE] If Tiff wants a crack at Arfoire, then she'd damn well better join your group. You're the best chance she's got. Probably.

>>43681491
>[X] [WRITE-IN] PUNCH her in the Armok-be-damned FACE.
Bitch lit us on fire.
Let's play it off like it ain't no thang.

>>43681491
>[ ] [DAO] ... as much as you hate to say it, you CAN help her find Dao. Even though she's a dumbass.
>[ ] [DRINK] While on Fire.

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>>43681557
I think it's a Senran edit
Speaking of Senrans...

>>43681491
>[ ] [AAGHHAHHAHAHAHAAGH] FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK, EXTINGUISH THIS !!FIRE!!.
>[ ] [DAO] ... as much as you hate to say it, you CAN help her find Dao. Even though she's a dumbass.
Fire or else we can't drink.

>>43681491
>[ ] [DAO] ... as much as you hate to say it, you CAN help her find Dao. Even though she's a dumbass.
"It sure is fuckin' hot in here!"

>>43681491
[AAGUUUGAHHHJHH]
It's hard to deliberate options while aflame. Quick, douse it with your flask!


Man, people from games with multiple classes just do not have a good time, do they? Is this multiple personality thing Tiff and SS13 have normal, or is it something that adventurers like this overcome in time? I mean, Final Fantasy and XCOM have classes and their representatives seem fine. I'd expect it all to blend together eventually to form the adventurer's unique personality or something. (That said, it probably works to their favor later on when they get their personal "summon minion" ability, since they get more variety and intelligence in heir minions.)

Can Urist still burn off all her skin to become immune to fire? What's Mojang going to say about that?

>>43681491
>[ ] [AAGHHAHHAHAHAHAAGH] FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK, EXTINGUISH THIS !!FIRE!!.

>>43681624
>Final Fantasy
Old enough to know how to control it.

>XCOM
Psionic training to know how to control it.

>>43681491
>[X] [BRIEFCASE] Fine, fine! You'll help her grab this briefcase of hers.
>[X] [AAGHHAHHAHAHAHAAGH] FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK, EXTINGUISH THIS !!FIRE!!.

>>43681643
you mean melt the fat, not burn the skin

>>43681643
Can we become the adamantine cyborg?

>>43681752
So it is just an issue of learning to manage it, then. That's good, we need to try and limit the amount of psychosis in our circle. Everyone here except Myrra has voices in their head, for pity's sake.

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Anyway, you guys thought Neptunized Urist was a terrifying Thing That Should Not Be?

I made something much, much worse.

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>>43681971
Dream on, Blanc.

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>>43681971
>>43682047
Sure, let's continue with the dream.

>>43681971
>>43682096
It legitimately looks bad, she should aspire for a more natural size.

Didn't Blanc get big bazongos in V-II?

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>>43682133
I honestly think she doesn't want bigger breasts so much as to look more mature. She's the oldest goddess, yet she looks barely older than the brats she's taking care of. She wants the respect that her seniority commands but doesn't get any of it.

Personally I like short girls with nice racks.

>>43681491
>[X] [AAGHHAHHAHAHAHAAGH]
>[X] [DAO]

You cough, eyes watering from all the smoke you're giving off. On hindsight, you always wonder why you're always able to stay so damned CALM whenever you start burning- somehow, the smoke bothers you much more than the fire itself.

That's not to say that it doesn't HURT, which it does. Like a bitch.

"- holy hell, will you stop SCREAMING, little girl?" Tiff growls, rolling her eyes. "It's just a little fire. Don't be so dramatic, sheesh!"

... Neptune, please stop screaming. They can hear you.

((I can't help it! I'm too hot to handle! I'm burning up! You're supposed to burn goddesses and authority figures in EFFIGY, not in PERSON! Gosh!))

"Alright, you heard the lady. Goddess. Whatever." Thankfully, Tiff seems to be taking all these voices in stride, although she's side-eyeing you a little.

You ignore it, since you're technically not the one claiming divinity. Armok dammit, isn't ANYONE in these parts normal?

The pyromaniac aims her flamethrower at you again, but before you can gut-punch her, a refreshing blast of compressed air washes over you, extinguishing you posthaste. Yeah, well, thanks for THAT, asshole.

"Don't sweat it. What's a little fire between pals, huh?" Tiff grins, elbowing you like it's all part of some sick, twisted joke that just so happens to involve you being on fucking fire.

You bat away her arm, scowling in annoyance. Alright, look, if she's really so keen on finding her friend? On finding Dao? Then she'd damn well better stop kicking you around, and focus.

THAT gets Tiff's attention. "Dao? You know her? And you can find her?"

(Cont.)

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>>43682215
You nod, biting your lip to stop yourself from cursing that dumbass who'd caused you so much trouble. Tanned redheaded swordswoman roughly this tall, shirtless, hangs around with an idiot? You can find her just as easily as you found Tiff. It's one of your, uh, micromanaging abilities.

"Shit." Tiff scratches her head, before holding up two hands balled into fists. "Okay. Working with this girl. All in favor?"

Nine 'ayes' escape her mouth, and nine fingers uncurl. Huh. Unanimous vote. The Team Fortress cracks you a grin, giving you a mock salute as her main(?) personality reasserts itself. "Looks like we're throwing in with you! Just so long as you find us Dao, though, otherwise all bets are off. Got it?"

You nod, scarcely believing your luck and not trusting yourself to say anything. You... you're kind of afraid to ask WHAT their relationship is; depending on the answer, telling Tiff that you gut-punched Dao a few times might not go over so well.

"Well, that settles it!" She swings the flamethrower up, the pilot light reflecting in her eyes. "Let's go burn us a mage, girl!"

((Agreed~!)) Neptune chimes in. ((We'll show that mage what for! With our sword!))

[ ] [HEAD-ON ASSAULT] Follow Tiff and Neptune's plan- charge in with guns (and sword) blazing, and together with Doomgirl, overwhelm Myrra with force of arms.
[ ] [STEALTH IS KEY] Nah- sneak up on Myrra, and take her down while she's distracted by Doomgirl. And for the love of Armok, keep Neptune quiet.
[ ] [UNDERMINING] Let Tiff charge up alone- you'll dig the fuck out of this asteroid. Myrra had better watch her step.
[ ] [YOU AS DISTRACTION] Make Tiff hang back while you go back up Doomgirl. Tiff's got something up her sleeve, right?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43682227
>[ ] [HEAD-ON ASSAULT] Follow Tiff and Neptune's plan- charge in with guns (and sword) blazing, and together with Doomgirl, overwhelm Myrra with force of arms.
Who was Dao, again? Also, are flamethrowers something that happen, or could happen, in Dorf Fort? I'm pretty sure they are.

>>43682227
>[ ] [HEAD-ON ASSAULT] Follow Tiff and Neptune's plan- charge in with guns (and sword) blazing, and together with Doomgirl, overwhelm Myrra with force of arms.
Let's have !!FUN!!

>>43682227
>[ ] [UNDERMINING] Let Tiff charge up alone- you'll dig the fuck out of this asteroid. Myrra had better watch her step.
Even Neptune can't blab through 10 inches of rock. 5, though...

>>43682227
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]

Uber-Charge the drunken dwarf-charge!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36lSzUMBJnc

>>43682246
She was DOTA

>>43682257
>ubercharging
>accelerated heart rate
>toxins spread faster
>nepvoice still in there
10% NEPTUNIZED

>>43682227

[X] UBERCHAAAAAAAARGE!

>>43682282
more like 14%
>>43682227
[X] [HEAD-ON ASSAULT] Follow Tiff and Neptune's plan- charge in with guns (and sword) blazing, and together with Doomgirl, overwhelm Myrra with force of arms.

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>>43682227
>[ ] [HEAD-ON ASSAULT] Follow Tiff and Neptune's plan- charge in with guns (and sword) blazing, and together with Doomgirl, overwhelm Myrra with force of arms.

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>>43682096
How big is too big?

>>43682227
>[X] [HEAD-ON ASSAULT] Follow Tiff and Neptune's plan- charge in with guns (and sword) blazing, and together with Doomgirl, overwhelm Myrra with force of arms.

>>43682257
>>43682312
>[X] ÜBERCHARGE!

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>>43682343

The Game.

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>>43682227
>[X] [HEAD-ON ASSAULT]

No time to plan, no time to lose- ANY of Arfoire's lackeys can easily take on a handful of adventurers at once, so you don't have any clue how long Doomgirl'll last against someone as stupidly powerful as Myrra.

All in, motherfu-

((Urist, no! You're going to bump up the rating if you keep using that language!))

... fine. Mother... fudger. Better?

((Yup! Now let's go carve up that sunnovabitch!))

Tiff pats your head consolingly. "Don't worry. You'll get the hang of having voices in your head someday. Just like me!"

You shudder. Armok, no, you SINCERELY HOPE you don't ever get used to this.

The two of you clamber out onto the asteroid's surface, and just as you break into a straight dash, you have a moment to take in the situation. The asteroid is a LOT more pitted than before, the constant barrage of spells wearing away at the rock. Eyes glowing gold and hair streaming out behind her, the floating Master of Magic doesn't look at all diminished by the sheer power she's throwing around, but neither does Doomgirl look at all affected, apart from a few singed patches on her armor.

Most worryingly, Myrra is much calmer than before. Gritting your teeth, you turn your liquid metal gauntlets into a sword and put on a burst of speed.

"- if I cannot capture builders for our citadel," you hear her saying, "then I'll just have to capture more soldiers for Arfoire! Black Slee-"

She whirls around just in time to parry your overhead slice, summoning and drawing some sort of flowing bladed weapon in a flash of light. Hell, the scrawny mage even manages to hurl you aside, but you're not done yet! Showing almost divine agility, you land like a cat, kick off the ground, and hurtle at Myrra, bringing your two-handed sword (wait, don't you use a sword-and-shield combo?) around for another cut-

(Cont.)

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>>43682650
>Urist Twelfthbay charges forward!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best TWO of FOUR!
1st Highest Roll DC: Attack: 60; Bonus: +10
2nd Highest Roll DC: Defense: 75; Bonus: +5

8.5% Neptunized

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>43682661

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>43682661
Shit

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>43682661

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>43682661

>>43682661
Attack, really good.

Defense. not so good.

>>43682650
>, bringing your two-handed sword (wait, don't you use a sword-and-shield combo?) around for another cut-
>>43682661
>8.5% Neptunized
AHHHHH

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>>43682661
>8.5%
IT WON'T STOP

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>43682691

Attack was 98 Ouch.
Defense was 74, very good, just short.

>>43682673
>>43682674
Fucked her up, but fucked up in return.

>>43682661
>8.5% Neptunized
I wonder if Nep is getting Uristed in return

>>43682650
>almost divine agility
>8.5%
Crap crap crap Neptune is going to kill our personality we gotta do something now

Because I seriously doubt it has to hit 100% before any irreversible issues come up. Surviving this with lingering Neptune-esque tendencies is barely better than dying.

>>43682775
>Surviving this with lingering Neptune-esque tendencies is barely better than dying.
That's what we call a win in Dorffort

>>43682760
If the corruption spreads too much, I vote we wait it out until it hits 100%, in the hopes that we basically just swap locations with Neptune (even though it would really be us but that starts getting into cloning debates and souls and stuff).

>>43682760
I am not sure which is more horrifying for Gamindustri on the whole.

>>43682796
There's no such thing as a win in DorfFort. The best we can hope for is that we're having fun while losing.

>>43681885
>W-wow Urist, you sure take this diet thing seriously. Don't you think it's a little TOO hot, though?
>Of course not, it's not even high enough for the fat to start sloughing out my body. Grilled Eggplant?

>>43682661
We should try to make some better armor soon.

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>>43682650
>>43682661
>1st Highest (Attack): PASSED

For the space of one heartbeat, you have a moment of clarity, one strange little moment where you feel... detached. You can tell that Neptune certainly doesn't mean this, and she certainly can't control this, but you can almost feel another hand guiding yours, a feather-light touch of divinity promising the speed and strength you'll need to connect your attack.

All you'd have to do is relent, just a little. Just give into a goddess's instincts, just accept a little power now for a little headache later.

So you do what any normal dwarf would do and scream your defiance, clenching up so hard that the muscles in your arm shoot liquid magma up your nerves. You stubbornly throw your weight into your swing and /will/ it to connect-

- and connect it motherfudging does.

Whatever your opponent's done to herself stops the blade from even drawing blood, but Myrra chokes off a scream as her body /bends/ over your sword. The force of the blow slams her into the rock hard enough to shatter bone, but somehow, she's twisting around even as she coughs up blood, bringing her magic-wreathed hands around to burn your overextended arse from point-blank range- and you flinch, expecting to get engulfed by, by DOUBLE fire-

[X] [UBERCHARGE]

- and suddenly, you have ANOTHER moment. No clarity, no time for introspection- instead, your heart seems to grow three sizes as your world is bathed in a blood red haze-

>Urist Twelfthbay enters a martial trance!

- and the quick-cast firebolt slides off your skin like a !!gentle breeze!!, leaving you absolutely unscathed. Just as quickly, the red haze lifts from your eyes, and you spare a moment to glance back over your shoulder.

(Cont.)

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>>43683220
White doctor's overcoat flaring dramatically in the breeze, Tiff raises that- that monstrosity of a firearm and bares her teeth at Myrra. "Hah. Not today," she snarls, adjusting her glasses.

You're too stunned by that close call to press the attack, and the Master of Magic clambers back to her feet, spitting out bright-red blood. "What trickery is /this/?" she hisses painfully, staring at you with feverish eyes. "You're different from the last time-"

"KNOCK KNOCK," Doomgirl howls, hitting Myrra with the business end of her shotgun, and hard enough to make her stagger. "Oh look! Someone's there! Better open the door with BULLETS," she snarls, punctuating her statement with a point-blank shot that sends Myrra tumbling halfway across the asteroid.

As the three of you regroup, the Master of Magic once again gets back to her feet, her eyes flaring angrily. "Enough. I cannot go back to Arfoire with this many failures under my belt. If I cannot win..."

She clasps her hands together, and a sickly orange light flares around her, raw chaotic energy pulsing hard enough that it's not only visible to the naked eye, but actually pushes you back with the force of a hurricane-force gale.

"Then NOBODY wins!"

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, SHIT-

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [ALL IN] Charge Myrra with your allies. Take her down before she finishes casting whatever it is she's charging up!
[ ] [SCATTER] Go your separate ways to avoid a clusterfuck. She can't hit ALL of you at once.
[ ] [UBERCHARGE SHIELD] Have Tiff blast Doomgirl with that red stuff (your heart can't handle it again so soon) and hide behind the human shield.
[ ] [DIPLOMANCE THIS] What the heck is Myrra's deal? What could be so important to her that she'd throw her lot in with Arfoire?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43683238
>[ ] [ALL IN] Charge Myrra with your allies. Take her down before she finishes casting whatever it is she's charging up!
No fuck you bitch, you're just a mid-boss at this point

>>43683238
>[X] [ALL IN] Charge Myrra with your allies. Take her down before she finishes casting whatever it is she's charging up!
I don't know what organ controls magic, so we'll just have to STAB THEM ALL.

>>43683238
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
MAKE A ROOM
I mean literally, make a cubical minifort and hide in it.

>>43683238
>"KNOCK KNOCK," Doomgirl howls, hitting Myrra with the business end of her shotgun, and hard enough to make her stagger. "Oh look! Someone's there! Better open the door with BULLETS,"
Doomgirl is the best.

>>43683238
>[ ] [DIPLOMANCE THIS] What the heck is Myrra's deal? What could be so important to her that she'd throw her lot in with Arfoire?

Do this with a mix of Dwarven and Australian (TF 2 type) diplomacy

>>43683238
>[x] [ALL IN] Charge Myrra with your allies. Take her down before she finishes casting whatever it is she's charging up!
Geronimooooooooo!!

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>43683238
>[ ] [ALL IN] Charge Myrra with your allies. Take her down before she finishes casting whatever it is she's charging up!
None of our companions is a good diplomancer. Neither are Urist or Nep.

Also, about the rating, Blanc DID say "shit" a couple times.

>>43683238
Throw cats at her. make her lag.

>>43683343
Agree with this.
[2CAT]

>>43683238
>[ ] [ALL IN] Charge Myrra with your allies. Take her down before she finishes casting whatever it is she's charging up!
Pray to the fucking dice gods.

>>43683238
>[ ] [ALL IN] Charge Myrra with your allies. Take her down before she finishes casting whatever it is she's charging up!

Time to be brave

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Right then, it's getting late on a weekday, so gonna have to stop here- we'll pick up next time with [ALL IN] and its potential consequences!

Next thread will (hopefully) be on SATURDAY, 11/21, at about 9-ish pm EST! As always, schedule updates will go to https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest!

As always, thanks for participating, and I hope you enjoyed the thread tonight! As for the bonus scene-

... y'know what, I haven't finished it yet, but I'm going to take a crack at doing so tonight. INCOMING

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You are Blanc, the patron goddess of the glorious nation of Lowee. You're also known as CPU White Heart, though that mostly refers to your HDD form. Honestly, when you started out, your favorite color wasn’t white- you were always more partial to red- but in your young and foolish days, you couldn’t help but marvel at the snow blanketing your nation year-round and gave yourself that name for whatever reason. Well, at least it grew on you.

Your favored weapon is the ludicrously over-sized war hammer, both out of preference and because Lowee’s native ore (Nintendium, rare but nigh unbreakable) gives it the heft and density perfectly suited for perfect smashing power. It's patriotism and functionality all rolled into one happily oversized bone-breaking package that just so happens to be bigger than the average person, and /much/ larger than you yourself.

You are not compensating for anything, of course, and you will demolish anyone who even hints at it-

"Where'd she go? She was just here a second ago!"
"Up, my comrades! Look up!"
"CPU White Heart! Oh, glorious day!"

Of course, even though your base of operations looks like an overlarge church, being a Gamindustri goddess isn’t all prayer-mongering, belief-gathering, and grand public appearances in and out of HDD form (and, when the need arises, copious amounts of violence). Goddesses are expected to deal with matters of state or, in Neptune's case, at least exert enough energy to nod “yes” or “no” to government-type people asking questions about important things that you can’t be arsed to care about. Deep in your heart, you sympathize with her, because you've got much better things to do with your time, like writing stellar short stories about chosen warriors with tragic pasts and cursed powers and-

"Don't let her get away! We almost nailed her this time!"
"Please! Let us show you our respects!"
"And then you shall be immortalized in the annals of our order, Lady Blanc!"

(Cont. - repost)

>>43683551
Yet another cliffhanger. Oh well.
Thanks for running blorp!

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>>43683563
Anyway, your goddess-ly duties include keeping an eye on up-and-coming groups and underground movements. You count yourself very lucky in this regard. In other more realistic universes, goddess-led nations surely have to deal with the threat of insurrection and/or fanatics who want to kill goddesses (or at least punch them in the face).

With how Gamindustri is preternaturally geared toward gaming, cute girls doing cute things, and wacky fanservice shenanigans, you and your fellow goddesses don't have to worry about that kind of thing, save for the odd incursion by Arfoire and her ilk. The only groups you have to keep a tight leash on are things like the 2DPD Brigade ("Two-Dimension Pig Disgusting," which rejects the big-eyes-small-mouth archetype to idolize some fantastically grotesque thing with pronounced noses and wide mouths), or the Miniskirt Crusaders or the Ponytails Are Justice Group (whose aims are self-explanatory), and THAT consists of making sure they don't get too excited-

"Fire at will! FIRE AT WILL!"

... on the flip side, you have to deal with groups that take their passions to a whole other level. Groups like the "What Is The Identity Of This Mysterious White Liquid?" Order.

You twirl through the air, dodging thick streams of viscous white liquid that's the bastard child of some fermented alcoholic sap and whatever other nasty shit they're packing in it. Dammit, that was way too close. Whatever goddamn rifles or cannons or hoses they're using have got /range/; you thought you could outdistance them at this height, but you're just a big target. And say what you will about this perverted order, but they've got members to spare and the strategic knack of guerrilla fighters- spotters on the rooftops, snipers nested in higher floors, and photographers all over the place, ready to immortalize you the moment you get covered in ~mysterious white liquid~ (everyone knows damn well what it LOOKS like, even if they don't know what it is).

(Cont.)

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>>43683576
The Rumble Pak slams into the aging pavement with enough force to turn it into a crater, and the sorry bastards go flying every which way. No casualties, because when all's said and done, this would still be the absolute stupidest thing to kill someone for- that's why you CHOSE this weapon for this mission.

Bellowing something unprintable, you bring your hammer around and demolish a tank of their Mysterious White Liquid; that's all you've got time for before you're forced to retreat, flying between buildings with reinforcements hot on your heels. Not a damn problem; those WITOTMWL assholes are weighed down by their heavy equipment, and you’re moving too fast for their snipers to get a bead on, so you can out-distance them in no time flat-

Gamindustri has a sick sense of humor. The moment that thought crosses your mind, you’re nearly splattered. Only a last-second swerve saves your ass from an inglorious fate, and you curse angrily as droplets of Mysterious White Liquid hit your Rumble Pak. Your curses grow even MORE unprintable as you hear the revving of engines behind you, and your mouth becomes /absolutely filthy/ as you spot the bulky shape of a stolen Leanbox Warthog-type vehicle burning rubber as it closes the distance.

Forget those big storage tanks, forget those otaku-snipers- you’re gonna MURDER the Basilicom security team for not noticing ASSAULT VEHICLES being smuggled into the damn capital city of Lowee!

You glance back over your shoulder just in time to see its jury-rigged turret swing in your direction- before it can unleash another salvo of Mysterious White Liquid, you put on a burst of speed, holding nothing back this time. Almost immediately, you’re forced to jinx to the side as another sniper takes a potshot at you, turning someone’s clothesline into a hideously suggestive mess. There’s another glint at the edge of your vision, and you pull into a dive, narrowly avoiding another pinpointed spray-

(Cont - 15-20 minutes!)

>>43683238
[ALL-IN]
No time for fancy plans, stop her before she blows up the chunk of rock from under your feet!

Too bad we can't meta, I feel like Tifa might be able to use something like the Pomson as an antimagic weapon. Failing that, getting headshots with the Huntsman is the most effective way to beat Merasmus.

>>43683576
>>43683588
I want to spray Blanc with Mysterious White Liquid!

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>>43683588
There's only one way this is gonna end.

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>>43683588

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>>43683588
With how this day’s going from bad to worse, you’re hardly surprised when you’re suddenly tackled out of the air, smashed into a nearby alleyway with enough force to jar your teeth.

A red mist clouds your vision- like HELL are you letting these fuckers take you down without a fight. Howling like a wild beast, you vault to your feet. You throw your forward momentum into your hammer, swinging like a particularly deadly golf club- the alleyway’s too damned narrow to allow for anything else- and you’re briefly rewarded by a panicked yell.

“Whoa! Easy there! It’s just me!”

Wait. What?

You slam your foot into the ground and /heave/, embedding your hammer into the wall instead of in the blonde’s face- not that you ever need to worry, not with this adventurer. The nimble robot girl easily dodges your attack, vaulting atop a dumpster and flicking her straw-yellow ponytail back over her shoulder. Lively blue eyes stare right back at you, twinkling with good-natured humor, and Rokko gives you a casual wave. “Reporting for duty, Lady Blanc. It's been far too long.”

It’s the Blue Bomber, the Super Fighting Robot of Lowee- well, Lowee /and/ Lastation (though you don’t hold that against her anymore), and holy fucking hell, you have NEVER been happier to see her in your entire life.

Rokko cracks a self-conscious grin, scratching the back of her head. "To be honest, I've been chasing these guys ever since they hit Lastation. And when I figured out which way they were going... well, I couldn't just stay away, right?"

(Cont. in 15-20 minutes!)

>>43683703
>pre-broken Rokko
oh no it's happening all over again

>>43683703
>happy carefree Rokko
Woah this hurts way more than I thought it would

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>>43683703
You've known Rokko for a long, long time- nearly as long as your Ascended, to be honest- and you still can't help but marvel at her... her /liveliness/, for lack of a better word. For reasons still unknown even to you, she's the first fully robotic adventurer, and quite possibly the hardest working girl in all of Gamindustri. Rokko may as well be the LAST fully robotic adventurer; few other robots can match her when she's in battle, and out of battle (and wearing something other than that armor), none can blend in as seamlessly as she can.

It's almost like Rokko has the spark of life in her. You're figuratively speaking, of course- though for all you know, there's LITERALLY something inside her that makes her this way.

Right. Back to the present. You shake your head, unable to keep the grin off your face. Rokko's timing is as perfect as always. Time to crack some damn skulls, right? Just like the old days?

To your surprise, the Blue Bomber actually shuffles her feet, glancing from side to side. It's an endearingly cute motion. "N... not exactly," she hedges, a barely audible static buzz entering her voice- one of the few robotic tics she's got, and by far the most worrisome. It means she's very, very nervous. "I've got a trump card up my sleeve. Going by what we know of the WITOTMWL, this should blunt the cohesion in their order, but on the other hand-"

Alright already! Just- out with it, okay? You'll do whatever needs to be done to break these assholes for good.

Rokko nods, looking far from convinced. "Okay. In that case- query: ..."

And in the form of a question, she tells you what you need to do.

(Cont.)

>>43683882
A half-second later, you hurtle straight into the sky and pour on the speed- the WITOTMWL immediately spots you and reacts with terrifying alacrity, but you ignore all the surprised shouts and near-misses. Because frankly, you're trying to get as much distance between you and Rokko as physically possible because HOLY FUCKING SHIT you are NOT doing that!

The Blue Bomber may seem human, but her reaction time is anything but. She's hot on your tail, surfing on the back of her trademark Rush Jet. “It’s not as bad as it sounds!” Rokko insists, swerving and even /jumping/ to avoid jets of Mysterious White Liquid- compared to the hail of energy blasts she's faced down in the past, these projectiles are nothing. "I promise you! It'll be over quickly! They won't be able to-"

You absolutely do not care! Trading one liquid for another does /not/ fill you with any goddamned confidence!!

"It's our only chance! You'll get hit sooner or later!" Rokko shoots back. Turning at the hip, she fires a stream of lemons- er, energy blasts- and effortlessly dissipates a stream of liquid that would've resulted in a real skeevy pinup if it had hit its mark. "It's the only place you can HIDE that would stop them from going on a rampage!"

No means no! Dammit, Rokko, you're not going to risk your unsullied reputation just because of a hunch-

And of course, because Gamindustri absolutely DOES have a sick sense of humor, some asshole sniper chooses precisely that moment to get lucky and nail you a potent blast of Mysterious White Liquid before you can bring your Rumble Pak up to protect yourself.

(Cont.)

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>>43684055
>Blanc is hit

>>43683703
Wow. What the hell happened to her to put her in the state she was in when Urist met her?

>>43684143
Capcom stopped making Mega Man games.

>>43684143
They ripped out her spark

>>43684143
>>43684156
Also someone fucked her up

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>>43684055
>some asshole sniper chooses precisely that moment to get lucky and nail you a potent blast of Mysterious White Liquid before you can bring your Rumble Pak up to protect yourself.

>>43684156
...Jeez, imagine what state Half-Life must be in.

>>43684177
Half Life is in a coma and everyone is just waiting for her to wake up.

>>43684177
Halfi is just sleeping

>>43684143
>>43684156
>>43684162
>>43684170
Giving birth is a hard experience guys. Mighty #9 didn't come easily.

>>43684189
I think shes confused.

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>>43684055
Later, you'll reflect (very grudgingly) that it's a good shot. You'd thought yourself just outside the range of their rifles, and you were /right/; it's just that for their purposes, there's a small window where the liquid nature of their payloads turns into a VERY effective splatter.

In the moment, of course, it's a horrifyingly nasty blast of warm viscous liquid that impacts right on your chest (because Gamindustri is a jerk) and spatters up your /face/, making you flinch instinctively. YOU were lucky that some of it didn't land in your open mouth; you know damn well it's a potent mix of pulque, mayonnaise, salad dressing, or whatever else those creeps throw in, saving you from the taste. Even then, that doesn't prepare you for how /awful/ it smells, and NOTHING can stop you from making a horrified face at this AND at the cheers resounding up from below.

Okay, you're doubly lucky; despite being hopelessly belated, you'd instinctively raised your Rumble Pak in a guard position, blocking any pictures from being taken for the moment. Not that you FEEL that way, and you're already livid, cursing up a blue storm at yourself, at those otaku who won't live long enough to enjoy the moment, and at-

"Lady Blanc! Forgive me!"

Soaring through the air, on the verge of getting hit by a crossfire of Mysterious White Liquid streams, Rokko hurls something at you, and your world is engulfed by the color yellow.

* * *

Some hours (and about five baths) later, you're standing in the Basilicom, your arms crossed. You're out of your HDD form, but you're just about angry enough that you'd probably sound like CPU White Heart the moment you open your mouth.

Rokko is kneeling in front of you, legs folded underneath her thighs- a position that would be thoroughly uncomfortable to anyone BUT a robot, but one that conveys her regret anyway. Her helmet sits to the side, revealing her messy blonde hair as she bows her head.

So. She must have seen the pictures by now.

(Cont.)

>>43684252
...OK, did Rokko just use her Weapon Copy across storylines and acquire Tiff's Jarate from the main plot?

>>43684274
Rokko probably didn't throw pee all over Blanc.

That'd be like putting out a fire by destroying the building

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>>43684252
The Blue Bomber scratches the back of her head again, avoiding your glance. "I-I have, yes," she murmurs. "I'm sorry! I underestimated the skill of their photographers-"

Rokko flinches as you lash out- but it's only to toss three newly downloaded, newly printed photos onto the floor. They're all of you, all from different angles, but all of them showing roughly the same scene:

You, already splattered with Mysterious White Liquid, mouth open and shrieking in enraged horror as you're rapidly engulfed by a viscous YELLOW ooze, with tendrils snaking up your shoulders and face.

There's really no way for you to do ANYTHING but understate this situation, but. Still. You lean down and growl, trying to keep your temper in check: this shit right here is really, really, REALLY not an improvement.

"Um," Rokko replies carefully, shifting in place- you KNOW this and the 'um' are just for show, and that she's already got her defense lined up. You don't know if it's just pre-programmed tics to appear more human, or if it's a routine she's honed over the years. Does it matter? "Once it engulfed you entirely, the Yellow Devil DID prevent any further photographs from being taken...?"

The Yellow Devil. You... you had no idea it even HAD an ooze form, but you really shouldn't have been surprised. You know what it can do.

You nod, crossing your arms behind your back. Yes. That's true. On the OTHER hand, you're already hearing people calling these The Pictures That Have Launched A Fleet Of New Fetishes, so you'd /really/ like to hear her thoughts on that.

"It was a calculated risk," Rokko replies, looking up at you with those bright unflinching eyes of hers. "But it worked. They've fractured into various factions now! And they don't have cohesion or pooled resources anymore- it's nothing but infighting!"

(Cont.)

>>43684353
>>43684343
So Rokko destroyed the building

>>43684378
With the arsonists still inside, sounds like.

>>43684378
>>43684396
She did it in a way that made the arsonists worship the destruction

>>43684421
And Blanc is still homeless in the end

>>43684425
She can move in with nep then

This was a really good analogy

>>43684434
>>43684435
I think got away from us now

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>>43684434

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>>43684353
You rub your temples. Right. "Factions." Holy hell, there's the original Mysterious White Liquid Order, the Mysterious /Yellow/ Liquid Order, the Let's Band Together To Cover Girls In Slimes! Syndicate (you briefly feel sorry for the dogoos), the Oozing Tentacles of Bondage Brigade... are you missing any?

Rokko shifts again, shaking her head, her ponytail bobbing with the motion. "I'm afraid not, Lady Blanc."

You sit down in front of the Blue Bomber, feeling exhausted. For a few moments, you simply drum your fingers against your knee; when you let out a sigh, the robot doesn't /twitch/, but the light in her eyes flicker again.

When you crack a small wry smile, she DOES twitch. "Lady Blanc...?" Rokko hazards.

Listen to yourselves. You're arguing over a bunch of stupid perverts and their stupid perverted pictures, the likes of which have been taken and disseminated all over Gamindustri since the beginning of time. Sure, you /do/ have your pride, but this may be the dumbest thing to ever (further) ruin a good working relationship.

The sheer ball-busting rage of CPU White Heart no longer speaks through you, so you take a calming breath. Rokko.

"Yes."

(Cont.)

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>>43684482

>>43684353
clearly Rokko should have used a Falcon/Zero ultimate that blankets the screen in camera-ruining lasers, collateral be damned.

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>>43684482
She'd better take responsibility for this mess, because she's cleaning it up right beside you.

Those green eyes blink in surprise. "Y... yes!?"

She heard you correctly. If those cults are splintered and reeling, then this is the perfect time to strike fear into their hearts via copious amounts of hilariously brutal violence.

Rokko sits there, not daring to move an inch.

You sigh again. Rokko hasn't been back to Lowee ever since she moved to Lastation- maybe she was worried you were going to flip out at her, like you did with Estelle and Ein during that last war against Arfoire. So you reach out to the robot, and you finally, FINALLY, put those damn fears to rest with your next sentence:

Come home, Rokko. Let's kick some ass together again, just like the old days.

The Blue Bomber's smile is so damn radiant that it very nearly blinds you, and she clasps her hand in yours, eyes glittering in relief. "Yes! I... I'm sorry, Lady Blanc! I thought I'd-"

You cut her off, reeling her in to grab her other hand. Her shiny armor perfectly reflects the hellish red light illuminating your eyes as you let your simmering rage boil over, just a little. Yes, you DO forgive Rokko, but did she really think she was going to get away so easily?

Rokko pales, and she desperately tries to tug her hands away- but your arms only LOOK as noodly as those of the other goddesses, and you hold her fast. You don't even bother looking over your shoulder to your head of security.

"Kong? Please get me a few eggplants," you say sweetly.

It's said that Rokko's horrified shrieks echoed through the Basilicom that day, and you're reasonably sure that those poor stupid cult otakus shuddered in their hideaways, clutching their hard-won pictures in the vain hope that they would protect their holders.

'Course, you do know better, right?

[END, good night!]

>>43684540
Thanks for thread Blorp!

See you next time

>>43684540
Oh god. the eggplants.

Night Blorp.

>>43684540
Good night and thanks for running!

...Can someone explain the eggplant thing? I'm missing something, I just know it.

>>43684540
>ERROR, ERROR, CAPACITY OVERLOADED
>EVACUATE ORAL CAVITY EVACUATE ORAL CAVITY
>ERROR, EROOR, BOOBLIGHTS DEPLOYED

>>43684559
what are eggplants shaped like my dear anon?

and what do filthy otakus love more than MWL covered goddesses?

If you answered the bluebomber sucking on a phallic object, you'd be correct.

>>43684540
Thanks for running Blorp!

>>43684559
I'll actually second this question. I figured it was some Nep's thing, but now Rokko and Blanc?

>>43684559
Eggplants have a... suggestive... shape.

Other than that, Neptune hates them.

>>43684572
>>43684574
I honestly find it strange that Rokko can't just crush the eggplants, symbolism be damned. Robo-jaws, do not fist androids, etc.

I mean really, this just raises more questions about BLANC if she enjoys this type of punishment.

>>43684572
>>43684574
>>43684580
What, that's the whole explanation? Holy crap, Blanc, are you some kind of massive hypocrite or what? My respect has plummeted.

>>43684585
>>43684614
something something saps the will to resist. I dunno man, it was pretty freaking lewd in the anime.

>>43684634
That doesn't change how hypocrital it is, unless there's actually TONS of subtext between Blanc and Rokko.

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>>43684559

>>43684650
Blanc and Rokko go WAY back. Sure there's some >subtext

If you want to see it at any rate.

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>>43684540