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How big is a dragon? And I mean exactly, to the inch, and it MUST be true of EVERY dragon in EVERY setting. I demand a single correct answer that applies to everything. Dragons cannot be different sizes.
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>>43578770
Exactly as big as it needs to be.
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They increase in size as they age.
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As big as my dick.
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>>43578770
>Dragons cannot be different sizes.
I feel like this raises a lot of questions about their reproductive cycles.
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It's true OP, every Dragon is exactly the same size: 3.5 inches x 2 inches

It's just that Magic is very small so every race of people to encounter one is actually really really tiny
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>>43578810
I didn't know they made faerie dragons that small.
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>>43578791
>>43578799
NO TELL ME TO THE INCH! OBJECTIVELY! I DEMAND A NUMBER!
WHAT IS THE EXACT NUMBER OF INCHES THAT ALL DRAGONS IN ALL SETTINGS ARE?
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>>43578817
>dragons lay eggs like kiwis
>80% of their body is dedicated to laying eggs as large as themselves
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>>43578836
so what, like 10% is breathing fire, 10% is flying and they draw sustenance directly from the tears of biologists via osmosis?
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>>43578823
381
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>>43578836
>All Dragons have an exoskeleton they eventually wear off and replace
>Place an egg into the old exoskeleton
>Egg foams up until it fills the interior and becomes the exact same kind of Dragon
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>>43578864
Exactly 381 Inches Squared.

Next question OP?
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>>43578823
Seventy twelve.
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>inches
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>>43578823
Depends on where and how you measure. By length? Including the tail? By width? Including wingspan? Height? Including the ridiculous crest?
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It does not matter how big a dragon is.

What matters is how big it is for you.
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>>43578865

>unethical bio-mancers design customers dragons by crafting false exoskeletons and then using magic to force the egg to foam up anyway.
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>>43578860
Can confirm, am biologist, am crying.
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>>43578770
How big is a dragon's dick? And I mean exactly, to the inch, and it MUST be true of EVERY dragon in EVERY setting. I demand a single correct answer that applies to everything. Dragon dicks cannot be different sizes.
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>>43578913
>different sized dragons
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>>43578913
Suddenly every Dragon in Legend of the Dragoon makes sense
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>>43578975
I'm pretty sure one of those isn't a dragon dick. There seems to be molded fur on that ball sack.
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>>43578939
Every dragon is 381 inches

So every Dragon Dick is 380 inches . . . squared
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>>43578986
what you've bever seen a dragon with hairy balls?
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>>43578987
So dragons are a line with dicks that are squares?
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>>43579011
I have never seen a dragon with hairy balls from a beaver's perspective, no.
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>>43579028
With very precise measurements.

Very very precise measurements.
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>>43579042
what if dragons aren't horrible monsters, what if they're just very large, autonomous units of measurement? what if every dragon is exactly one dragon large?
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So, this is the thread where all the idiots of /tg/ gather?
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>>43579067
Then maybe Dragons were some sort of Measuring Tool sent by the Gods in order to build something.

But what do you build by measuring with Dragons?

Giant Space Warships?
Bigger Dragons?
Giant Fantasy Castles?
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>>43579067
Is a dragon a unit of length? I think you could probably make them a unit of power or mass or some shit as well.
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>>43579069
Exactly how many idiots are we talking about here?
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>>43579107
what about dungeons? I mean, if you tell someone you've got a 10 dragon dungeon I bet they'd shit a brick. very intimidating, that.
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>>43579125
Yeah, we need the exact measurement of these idiots.

After all, every idiot is the same.
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>>43578823
1 dragon-length-unit exactly.
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>>43579136
"We need to make this Dungeon 22x37 Dragons, and 17 dragons deep"
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>>43579125
And I mean exactly, to the idiot. and it must be true of EVERY thread in EVERY board. I demand a single correct answer that applies to everything. Idiots cannot be in different amounts.
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>>43578823
The exact number of ALL dragons in ALL settings?

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>>43578770
The fact that people haven't figured out that this is meta-comment on those threads that pose vague questions to which we can only reply "depends on the setting" astounds me.

That said, it's still a whiney meta-thread, so fuck you.
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>>43579171
1 idiot who is 1 idiot long
There is no one else on this board.
If you argue with me you're an idiot.
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>>43579158
wait do dragons measure length or volume?

what if they're a less obvious measurement, like a metric for lethality? makes that 10 dragon dungeon sound even worse
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>>43578770
Two cubits.
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>>43578770
1 cubic Dracometer
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>>43579069
Yes.
Welcome home.
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>>43578770
About tree fiddy
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If you are bigger than an elephant then you are a modern dragon
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>>43579205
>dragons
>measure of lethality
We One Punch Man now.
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>>43579205
>length or volume

Anon, they measure everything.

What do you think the "d" variable stands for in every math equation?
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>>43579183
We do realize that.
Which is why it's still full of non-answers, like "1 dragon-unit" and 1 dragon, where "dragon" is a unit of measure equal to the length of a dragon.
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>>43579301
You. I like you.
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>>43579371
How much? And I mean exactly how much?
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>>43579442
1 dragon.
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>>43579452
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>>43579300

Where are all these dragons getting crowns from?
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>>43579200
But...
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>>43579590
From eating kings.
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Relativity is a lie, everything is measured by the length of the setting's dragons, from nose to tail. Everything else is just larger or smaller to accommodate what appears to be differently sized dragons. In settings where dragons appear to be more than one size, they are actually bending space around them to appear larger or smaller.

This may also be how dragons breathe fire and fly, more research needs to be done.
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>>43579611

Who would even be a king if these fuckers apparently have it so easy they've got one for each head?

Could I deter a dragon by leaving a crown outside my window at night or something?
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>>43579709
Maybe it'd deter them, but it'd be a better idea to put decoy crowns on scare crows, livestock, and prisoners. Then the dragon may be fooled into thinking it slayed a king.
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Why the fuck does this thread have so many replies?
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>>43579779
It's people mocking OP for being a fag and having fun.
You do know what fun is, right anon?
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>>43579709
Lots of kings in medieval Europe. And who knows, it could work, assuming the crown has the exact correct measurements.
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>>43579801
It's Taiwanese food, right?
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>>43579823

How big is a crown? And I mean exactly, to the inch, and it MUST be true of EVERY crown in EVERY setting. I demand a single correct answer that applies to everything. Crowns cannot be different sizes.
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>>43579829
No, I think that's badwrongfun. apparently it's not good gaming food?
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>>43578770
They're different because people are different and created different settings with different sized dragons.
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>>43579829
Not just Taiwanese. Fun si is a type of rice vermicelli that is often used as Chinese foodstuff in traditional hotpot style cooking. It represents longevity of life and is often included in meals at New Years.
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>>43579856
Maybe that's why dragons are so angry and kidnap princesses and such all the time. They're trying to force the kings into getting the crowns right.
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All dragons are 4.13 inches in height, 6.12 inches from snout to tail, and have a wingspan of 10.25 inches from wingtip to wingtip.
Dragons are the standard metric for which the rest of the dimension they reside in is measured, the universe becoming bigger or smaller to fit. (Ie. If a dragon is the size of a house exactly in a given world, the house is 10.25x6.12x4.13)
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>>43580211

THANK YOU. Geez, it's about time.

Now how about crowns?
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>>43580258
Crowns actually just have a constant moment of inertia of 100 kg * m^2.
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>>43579300
>not taking dragon size from Norse mythology
never going to make it.
I bet you take French Fanfiction seriously when reading Arthurian tales too.
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>>43578770
Every setting means it includes real life. There's been one documented dragon attack in real life, see photograph attached. This was recorded by a Christian, so it has to be true because Jesus never lies and Christians are, like, fragments of Jesus.

Using MSpaint and basic trigonometry gives that the dragon in this photo is 746.069 pixels long. Given that everyone in the past was a manlet and that St George clearly has tiny little baby girl feet I'm assuming he has size five feet. People with size five feet ride using 4.5" wide stirrups, maybe 4.75" with boots. The stirrups are 15.13 pixels wide, but with some degree of parallax. Assuming the foot is turned 60 degrees away, the stirrup is actually 30.26 pixels wide.

Combining all of this information and using six hundred cycles of machine learning to compute something, gives that the dragon slain by St George was 117.09 inches, or 9.758 feet, long. Thus, unless you're a dirty heretic who doubts the truth of the Lord, all dragons in every setting are 9' 9" long when fully extended.
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>>43580462
/thread
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>>43578770
You do know that question isn't possible to answer for real life animals, let alone fictional ones.
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>>43578770
About tree fiddy
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>>43580462
>Given that everyone in the past was a manlet
Except that is a Victorian perpetrated myth, and both archaeological and material records have your average Western European man of lower class around 5'10".

And you also have to take into account that scale and depth theory was still relatively new in the 16thC, and later artists (such as Raphael) have to interpret their scale around it.
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>>43578770
Exactly 720 inches in every world.

But remember the length of an inch varies from world to world. Even if the total remains the same.
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>>43581017
I still can't quite comprehend how artists back then had such a hard time drawing to emulate life compared to nowadays, like damn look at that king and queen or whatever who are taller than their castle.
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>>43579300
>>43580327
Considering that norse mythology (along with greek and such) was common story fodder in the middle ages.... Pic related.

>>43579590
>>43579611
>>43579709
Those are Basilisk, not dragons. Basilisk -the king of serpents- are common imagery for disease. This illumination is an allegory for the Christians and Muslims joing forces to control the spread of Plague in Jerusalem. Note the Saracen with his evil looking sword and exotic armour.
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>>43581059
We're talking modern measurements of surviving skeletons. City dwellers tend to be shorter than rural folk, and access to better food (farmers and monied people) tend to be taller than those with poor dietary options.

>>43581064
Art is a luxury, and getting multiple artists in one place to do nothing but work on art and study theory is not going to help someone survive. Once the food production surplus of the Renaissance happens, people are able to focus and patronize higher pursuits.

Read even just a bit of art history, and you will be frankly shocked how fast and how far it developed in a few short years.
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>>43581107
>those are basilisks

No, those are dragons.

>This illumination is an allegory for the Christians and Muslims joing forces to control the spread of Plague in Jerusalem. Note the Saracen with his evil looking sword and exotic armour

Are you fucking retarded?
That's from the Alexander Romance!
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>>43581233
>Obviously never studied medieval art theory
>Obviously doesn't know about the artist changing famous scenes to represent current or major events

Technically, we're both right. It is ONE artist, using an interpretation of a famous battle from the Romance of Alexander to represent an important event in his life time.

Its the same reason that Alexander is wearing early 15thC armour, and bearing the arms of a Duke from the period. Its why there are biblical images that us Vlad Tepes as Lucifer.
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>>43581233
>>43581233
Another example of secondary commentary/allegory: Lucretia Borgia as Salome, with the head of John the Babtists looking an awful lot like her ex husband.
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>>43580963
A bit late there hombre
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>>43581353
>>43581397
Its easy to forget you're an educated guy in between your shitposting.
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>>43578770
Nonexistent because dragons aren't fucking real.
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>>43581500

Found the dragon.
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>>43581537
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>>43578823

42
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>>43578823
tree-fiddy
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>>43578770
As long as an extremely angry piece of string.
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>>43583156

It was a-bout damn time I realized that the dragon was 8 stories tall and a crustacean from the Mesozoic Era!
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>>43578770
Dragons aren't real.
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What do dragons do to past the time while adventurers try to break into their house and steal all their shiny shit? Do dragons like to read? Is there a dragon version of the internet where dragon shut-ins argue with each other over stupid shit like how to properly burn down a village of peasants? Do dragons play vidya? And if so, what kinds of snacks do they eat while playing vidya?
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>>43584832
They sleep and act like massive faggots on dragon-/tg/
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>>43583680
GOD-DAMN LOCH NESS MONSTER
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40km wingspan
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>>43580462
I can't get over his tiny feet. Those feet are 28 pixels long and George is about 300 pixels tall. Those feet are about 6.4 inches long. That's not an adult foot at all, that's children's shoe size ten. His feet aren't 4 inches wide, they're closer to two inches.
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>>43578770
I'll tell you, but first you need to tell me the exact size of all bears.
In milimeters.
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>>43579332
>Which is why it's still full of non-answers, like "1 dragon-unit" and 1 dragon, where "dragon" is a unit of measure equal to the length of a dragon.
38 parrots disagree
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>>43579858
Because it comes from Worst China. Think about it. Would you rather serve a great leader from Best Korea or Worst Korea? Now think about if you want Best China food or Worst China food.
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A dragon's true form is always exactly one cubic inch and resides primarily in the 5th dimensional plane.

Over time dragons are able to project ever-stronger manifestations of themselves to the 3rd dimension in order to feed, which may create an impression that they are growing in size, but this is never truly the case. This manifestation is vulnerable to mortal devices and thus dragons are largely considered fragile creatures of their 5th dimension.
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>>43578770
Exactly (dragon size/inch) inches.
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>>43589422
>Cubic
>Fifth dimensional
>Arbitrary unit of an inch instead of "the amount of distance light travels in a vaccum in the period of time it takes an electron to orbit a hydrogen atom"

You blew it mate.
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>>43579143
Underrated post. If all dragons are the exact same dimension it stands to reason their dimensions would become THE standard measurenent of lenght, weight, volume etc.
We have a setting with a dragic system instead of a metric system.>>43579171
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>>43578770
Bigger than you needed
Smaller than you hoped
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>>43579653
What if a dragon's length is the only thing that remains constant despite space dilation due to speed?
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>>43597812
Then dragons are gripped by existential dread, knowing that every moment they live they become gradually smaller and more insignificant in a cold, uncaring, vast universe.

This is why dragons hoard so much gold and treasure. Only the filthy lucre can distract them from the terror that eternally grips their shrinking hearts.
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>>43578770
>cannot be different sizes
>must be the exact same size
>I don't understand that biology still applies to fantasy.
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>>43597872
But imagine the possibility anons!

There is a consistency in all the chaos of relativity.

But that must also mean dragons exists in all time frame at once.
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>>43578770

Easily calculated with the dragon arc length integral. The length of your dragon L is equal to L = ∫ ds where ds is an infinitesimal slice of dragon length equal to the square root of 1 + the square of derivative of your dragon function, or √(1 + [y']2) dx.

Duh.
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>>43578819
Are they always that small though?
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>>43578770
Your question is like a hydra with one hundred heads, each one horribly stupid in its own unique way.



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