File: mo moe mo problems.jpg (202 KB, 1191x670)

202 KB JPG

>>43380412
"Whoa!"

You feel a jolt as Mojang grabs your arm; she's slipping fast, but that moment's all you need. Gritting your teeth, you morph your other liquid metal gauntlet into an axe blade and slam it into the wall, lodging it fast. That gives you enough purchase to pull yourself up, and you just sort of sit there for a moment, catching your breath and trying not to contemplate that close call-

"Whew. Close call, huh?" Mojang collapses next to you, her hood down; she swipes her tousled red hair away from her eyes and gives you a shaky grin.

You squeeze your eyes shut and nod, trying not to murder her for that flippancy. Gotta remind yourself that SHE'S perfectly at home with jumping up mountains, while YOU can't even climb a one-square wall without getting stuck half of the time. But yeah... you owe her one for that.

Your surrogate little sister waves a hand dismissively. "Aww, come on- we've known each other since forever. All water under the bridge!" she chirps, getting back to her feet. "Come on, we're almost there, oneechan!"

Shaking your head, you follow after her while grumbling dourly to yourself. Next time, you're digging. You don't even care that the gravity could change the moment you break through a wall, sending you both tumbling into the void. No more of this clambering across the underbelly of your realm, Endinomon- you're digging straight through the fucker.

Hell, you don't even know why you're even going through all this trouble- or who for. See, you're tracking down one of the many adventurers also stranded between dimensions, going by the logic that you've got a better chance of surviving with more people staffing your motley dungeon. Problem is, you're going with the mystery box option. Dwarf Therapist had just been upgraded, and you're going after the one adventurer with a name your little utility couldn't process.

(Cont.)

File: goodsuit.jpg (57 KB, 351x471)

57 KB JPG

>>43380412
Yay, I caught Blorp!

Have a sword raised in your honor!

File: 1328151538783.png (14 KB, 297x300)

14 KB PNG

>>43380433
The closer you get to your quarry, the worse your doubts become. For one thing, this adventurer seems to phase in and out of reality- and now that you're closing in, you're starting to realize that she's /explosively/ phasing in and out of reality, from the staccato 'boom's. For another thing, you can swear you can hear snippets of her voice; you can't make out the words, but her rough, rasping voice sounds... a little unhinged, to be honest.

You and Mojang stop on the one ledge between you and the hyperdimensional abyss, concealing yourselves behind a mossy rock outcropping. Down on another chunk of land (floating through the void, as everything here seems to do), your mystery adventurer is similarly concealed, underneath an overhang and just behind hanging sheets of what looks to be algae. She paces back and forth, muttering incessantly to herself and glancing around in quick, twitchy motions.

... yeah, this's gonna require some real fucking delicacy.

[ ] [OBSERVE] Watch little miss ??? for a while longer. See what she does, and see if she's really as unhinged as she looks.
[ ] [SNEAK FORTH] Try to sneak closer to this adventurer, and see if you can't make out what she's saying to herself.
[ ] [MOJANG ALONE] Have Mojang reveal herself and talk to this person. She's the more diplomatic of you two.
[ ] [DUAL REVEAL] Get where she can see the both of you, and try to communicate with her from where you stand.
[ ] [FORGET THIS] You've seen enough. Whoever this adventurer is, she's clearly bad news. Last thing you need in your fortress is a(nother) killer psychopath.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43380466
>[ ] [DUAL REVEAL] Get where she can see the both of you, and try to communicate with her from where you stand.
If she is bad news, you can always just channel magma to her position.

>>43380466
>[ ] [OBSERVE] Watch little miss ??? for a while longer. See what she does, and see if she's really as unhinged as she looks.

>>43380466
>[ ] [SNEAK FORTH] Try to sneak closer to this adventurer, and see if you can't make out what she's saying to herself.

>>43380531
who is she?

>>43380466
>[ ] [OBSERVE] Watch little miss ??? for a while longer. See what she does, and see if she's really as unhinged as she looks.

>>43380466
[X] [WRITE-IN] Give Mojang your ranged weapon and approach the girl yourself, Urist

>>43380575
Miss Mistery (???) of course.

File: seriously.jpg (76 KB, 500x750)

76 KB JPG

>>43380622

>>43380466
>[X] [OBSERVE] Watch little miss ??? for a while longer. See what she does, and see if she's really as unhinged as she looks.
The infinite void is a good place to take the cautious option.

>>43380466
>[ ] [OBSERVE] Watch little miss ??? for a while longer. See what she does, and see if she's really as unhinged as she looks.

>>43380466
>[X] [WRITE-IN] She seems twitchy. Maybe we should start a conversation of yells out of sight so she doesn't immediately attack us. Get a handle on things.

>>43380636
Well, you got me thinking...
I'd change my >>43380531
to
[ ] [WRITE-IN]: Construct floor beneath us. Construct safety railing (fortifications), construct/dig escape route, just in case.

>>43380412
Wonder what tonight's bonus will be?

>>43381094
NOTHING

>>43380466
>[X] [OBSERVE]

If you'd spotted someone like this back in Gamindustri, there's no question about it: you'd have turned on your heel and gone the other way. With all your glitches and bugs, you've got more than enough shit plaguing you to get wrapped up in the problems of someone with even MORE issues than you.

Here, though? Mojang aside, this's the first other adventurer you've seen here, period. It's proof that you and Mojang aren't the only sad, unlucky bastards stuck out here in the hyperdimension, and you're gonna cling to that sliver of hope like a seven-dwarf fortress clings to its only military dwarf in a terrifying biome.

You glance at your surrogate little sis, putting a finger to your lips; she nods quickly and copies your gesture, her brown eyes completely serious.

Over the course of a few minutes, your little mystery adventurer keeps pacing back and forth, almost moving fast enough to carve a groove into the rock. From what glimpses you catch, she's in some very battered green armor, some kinda futuristic space stuff, which is a helluva contrast to what look like equally battered cargo pants; some compulsive tic makes her run a hand through her unruly brown hair every few seconds, making it stand up in spikes.

Now that you're focusing, you can hear her talk. To herself, in broken interrupted sentences.

(Cont.)

File: 1321826532741.jpg (74 KB, 600x579)

74 KB JPG

>>43381379
"- always something. Always some goddamned thing. I- no, you shut up. Who's awesome? Who do you think is awesome?"

Pause.

"- well, fuck you too, I've got myself in and out of shit you won't believe. You shoulda been there. It was brilliant-"

Pause.

"Oh, of COURSE you been there, huh? This shtick's getting real old, pal, and I'll have you know- oh, it's all about me, is it?"

Pause.

"Well, excuuuse me, Ms. Big Leagues! Just my luck. Couldn't have left you behind in that space. Feels like I left my brain behind, but who needs that shit? Just point me to more creatures to blow up, and-"

Pause, and then she lunges and cracks her knuckles against the wall.

"Hey, screw you too, voice in my head! And you too, immovable object! Oh god, oh god oh god oh god." She sinks to a half-crouch, hissing in pain. "I needed those knuckles for ripping shit apart. Oh god."

... jeez. She's got bats in the belfry. Hell, the way she's going on, she's got belfries in her BATS.

(Cont.)

>>43381399
"Oneechan..." Mojang whispers, eyeing the adventurer with that look she gets whenever you do something particularly worrisome. "Maybe... maybe we should just leave her alone."

Well. On one hand, whoever she is has got more problems than you care to deal with right now. On the OTHER hand, your fortress is so short-handed that it's missing both arms, and beggars can't be choosers and all that shit-

"Oneechan!"

You look up at Mojang's urgent hiss. Immediately, you spot more of those damned will-o'-wisps- balls of light that shoot fucking explosions- leisurely floating across the adventurer's little island, making a beeline for her hideaway. She's stopped talking to herself, freezing in place and cocking her head to one side.

Well, you're out of time.

[ ] [HIT FAST HIT HARD] Unleash ranged weaponry HELL on those will-o'-wisps. Payback time, assholes!
[ ] [SHOUT A WARNING] Clue her in on the approaching enemies, and maybe get her out of the way or get her into the fight!
[ ] [WAIT AND SEE] The last thing you need is another swarm of will-o'-wisps to fight. See how this adventurer handles this shit.
[ ] [BACK AWAY] Okay, it's high time you got on out of here.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43381418
>[ ] [WAIT AND SEE] The last thing you need is another swarm of will-o'-wisps to fight. See how this adventurer handles this shit.

>>43381418
>[ ] [SHOUT A WARNING] Clue her in on the approaching enemies, and maybe get her out of the way or get her into the fight!

>>43381418
>[X] [SHOUT A WARNING] Clue her in on the approaching enemies, and maybe get her out of the way or get her into the fight!

Maybe we can bond over combat.

>>43381418
>[X] [WAIT AND SEE] The last thing you need is another swarm of will-o'-wisps to fight. See how this adventurer handles this shit.

>>43381418
>[ ] [SHOUT A WARNING] Clue her in on the approaching enemies, and maybe get her out of the way or get her into the fight!

>>43381418
[X] [SHOUT A WARNING] Clue her in on the approaching enemies, and maybe get her out of the way or get her into the fight!

>>43381418
>[ ] [HIT FAST HIT HARD] Unleash ranged weaponry HELL on those will-o'-wisps. Payback time, assholes!
My initial thoughts were Borderlands and her phasey shit was Siren shenanigans, but what ant the talking to herself?

Oh, and don't forget
R;B3 TODAY NERDS

>>43381602
The green armor and brown hair make me think it's doomguy/girl. With her personality somewhat taken from the comic.

>>43381418
its doom chan!
warn our poor bat shit insane marine lady.

>>43381418
>[ ] [HIT FAST HIT HARD] Unleash ranged weaponry HELL on those will-o'-wisps. Payback time, assholes!
FIGHTAN xp!

....wait, can Mojang even level up in any way?

File: Spoiler Image (160 KB, 1008x1236)

160 KB JPG

>>43381418
>[X] [SHOUT A WARNING]

You grab the back of Mojang's hoodie, stopping her from charging and drawing her bow, and belt out a warning to the adventurer below, something to the effect of "ABOVE YOU, DINGUS!"

That's all she needed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSsfjHCFosw

You barely make it past the first word before she's hurtling outside, swiveling on one heel to face down the will-o'-wisps. By the second word, there's some sort of ghastly giant-barreled chain-gun slung in her arms. Both wielder and firearm give voice to twin throaty roars that almost drown out the background explosions always thundering through the void.

She couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with that thing, but she sure as hell doesn't need to. Before they can even fire off a retaliatory shot, half the swarm disintegrates under the hail of bullets anyway, shredded scraps of light flaring briefly before dissipating. The rest of the will-o'-wisps dance backward in alarm, scattering into ones and twos before taking off like a shot, clearly having enough of this shit.

'Course, the soldier isn't nearly finished with them. "The hell do you think you're going!?" she bellows, swinging her firearm around. It clicks sullenly, out of ammo, and she unsummons it before just... charging after the will-o'-wisps, her hands extended like she's going to tear them to shreds personally. "I am the ballerina, and you are my toes! In pursuit of my glorious art of the dance, I will BREAK each and every one of you!"

You squint down at them. It... it took you and Mojang a while to break up a swarm of will-o'-wisps, and this psychopath took 'em down in the time it took both of you to fucking /breathe/. Seriously, life just ain't fair-

(Cont.)

File: mojangfuu.jpg (155 KB, 652x767)

155 KB JPG

>>43382371
Mojang starts forward. You'd forgotten to let go of her hoodie, and she simply starts dragging you along. "C'mon! We're going to lose her!" she says impatiently, gathering herself up to leap across the void to the next floating island.

Do we WANT to keep track of her, though??

"Of course! Out here in the hyperdimension, we're all working toward the same goal, right?" she says brightly. "Besides, she's really, really strong!"

... okay, yeah, that's a good point, but-

You're interrupted by ANOTHER roar, one that stops you right in your tracks. The green-armored soldier's stopped at the edge of her floating island, her progress blocked by... well, it's probably another one of the hyperdimension's indigenously horrifying monstrosities. Where the will-o'-wisps were all light and no substance, this fucker is ALL pitch-black substance, looking like some sort of torpedo-shaped shark with no fins, ghoulishly large white eyes, and a gaping maw that takes up more than half its length.

Worst part is, it's large enough to easily fit an adventurer in its mouth, though any poor bastard who passes through won't survive all those teeth.

"Oh? You wanna piece of me, pal? You wanna piece of me?" The soldier grunts, glaring cockily up at the monstrosity with the confidence of someone really brave or really, really goddamned stupid. She cracks her knuckles, ignoring how she sort of broke them just half a minute ago, and squares her stance. "C'mon, let's you and my fists fight, huh? You hard enough to come at me, huh? Huh?"

Fucking goddamned- Armok's left arm, she's gonna get herself murdered out there!

(Cont.)

>>43382389
"Don't do it!" Mojang yells out, struggling to make herself heard over the void shark's howls (and the adventurer's own boasting). "Wait for us! We'll back you up!"

Like hell you will!

The Minecrafter whirls on you, staring at you beseechingly."Oneechan-!!"

You shake your head, pointing up at the 'sky.' No! Seriously! Look at that damned thing!

Mojang follows your gaze, and she blanches as she cranes her neck to look up, and up, and up, because the void shark brought company in the form of a goddamned distant tidal wave- no, not a wave. It's not really coming from any one source; it's just one massive, solid wall of water, like someone decided that the hyperdimension needs to be underwater and broke out a goddamn paintbrush.

You are looking at a solid wall of water sweeping in from some unimaginable distance away. If you don't move fast and get back to your fortress within the next... what, ten? Fifteen? minutes, then you'll all be underwater in no time flat.

[ ] [BATTLE VOID SHARK] Take down that fucking thing. Both to help the soldier, and because you can't have that thing anywhere near your fortress.
[ ] [ARE YOU AN IDIOT] Go in, grab the soldier, and get the goddamned hell OUT of here, because she's gonna fucking die to everything if she stays.
[ ] [NOPE NOPE NOPE] Okay, no, this girl can take care of herself. You and Mojang need to get moving, and can't stop for anything.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43382371
oh armok please let us find adamantium, please let us find enough to give doomchan a chainsaw and please dont make us have to sacrifice her to you..

>>43382420
>[X] [BATTLE VOID SHARK] Take down that fucking thing. Both to help the soldier, and because you can't have that thing anywhere near your fortress.

I mean, seriously, what other options do we have? DON'T battle a Void Shark? Who do you think we are? Undertale-chan?

>>43382371
>"I am the ballerina, and you are my toes! In pursuit of my glorious art of the dance, I will BREAK each and every one of you!"
solid gold right there

>>43382420
Can we deploy a minecart or boat and just GOFAST away, picking up our mystery soldier?

File: Spoiler Image (84 KB, 300x300)

84 KB PNG

>>43382420
>[ ] [BATTLE VOID SHARK] Take down that fucking thing. Both to help the soldier, and because you can't have that thing anywhere near your fortress.

>looking like some sort of torpedo-shaped shark with no fins, ghoulishly large white eyes, and a gaping maw that takes up more than half its length.

This better not be what I think it is

>>43382420
>[ ] [ARE YOU AN IDIOT] Go in, grab the soldier, and get the goddamned hell OUT of here, because she's gonna fucking die to everything if she stays.
We'll fight it when we aren't about to get drowned

>>43382420
[ ] [BATTLE VOID SHARK] RIP AND TEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>43382420
>[ ] [ARE YOU AN IDIOT] Go in, grab the soldier, and get the goddamned hell OUT of here, because she's gonna fucking die to everything if she stays.

Time to Bug Out Soldier!

>>43382420
>[ ] [BATTLE VOID SHARK] Take down that fucking thing. Both to help the soldier, and because you can't have that thing anywhere near your fortress.

>>43382420
[ ] [ARE YOU AN IDIOT]

>>43381094
>>43381115
ACTUALLY, there will be something!

>>43382261
In Gamindustri terms, she can grab powerups from dungeons like any other adventurers! In Minecraft terms, uh... she can use her exp to enchant stuff?

>>43382475
Minecart? Possibly. Boat? That would end extremely poorly, since there doesn't seem to be an upper limit to the water coming your way (and if there is, the distance it'll put you from your fortress will probably be measured in light years).

>>43382486
kek

>>43382420
>[ ] [ARE YOU AN IDIOT] Go in, grab the soldier, and get the goddamned hell OUT of here, because she's gonna fucking die to everything if she stays.

>>43382420
[X] [ARE YOU AN IDIOT] Go in, grab the soldier, and get the goddamned hell OUT of here, because she's gonna fucking die to everything if she stays.

File: ROLL 'EM.png (61 KB, 300x300)

61 KB PNG

>>43382420
Right, looks like [ARE YOU AN IDIOT] narrowly squeaked out a win, so-

>Urist Twelfthbay tries to break through the Human Soldier's thick skull!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 85; BONUS: +15

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>43382902
Geh

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>43382902
rolling!

Rolled 36 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>43382902

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>43382902
>>43382922
Well alright then

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>43382902
>roll one
>soldier breaks through Urist's thick skull

>>43382920
>>43382922
>>43382940
Passably done

>>43382952
DYNAMITE!

>>43382952
Doomgirl sees that we are small, and wants to see our small guts.

>>43382922
We passed. Kinda.

File: urist cancels think - int(...).gif (496 KB, 320x180)

496 KB GIF

>>43382420
>>43382902
>>43382922
>[X] [ARE YOU AN IDIOT]
>DC: 85...............
>PASSED!

Somehow- and you're not really sure how, since YOU half-raised her- Mojang got it in her head that good deeds gotta be done, for the principle of the matter or whatever the hell. Hasn't gotten you and her in a lot of tiffs yet, but then again, you're not that much of a goddamned kitten-eater yet.

What you're trying to say is, you and Mojang sort of just shoot a meaningful glance at each other before taking off toward the soldier and the void shark, WITHOUT any intention of getting your dumbass selves horribly killed.

You roar at the doomed marine, cutting her off mid-battle-boast. C'mon! C'mon, we're getting out of here!

She glances back over her shoulder at you. "The hell?"

"Hey! Excuse me! Miss, um, adventurer?" Mojang hazards, pulling up alongside you. "Please, you have to come with us!"

"Yeah?" The marine sniffs, so damned casual that you could half-believe that she's forgotten about the void shark, despite how its growls reverberate through the air. "And why's that, short stuff?"

You grit your teeth. 'Cause you're gonna get eaten!

"Part of the plan," she shoots back breezily, baring her teeth in a savage grin.

"And then you'll drown! And that's terrible!" Mojang adds, maybe a bit redundantly.

The marine yawns. YAWNS! "Hey now, I've gone swimming in radioactive waste. A little water can't hurt me. It's the elixir of life, from which all biological organisms were born." She sniffs again, thumbing her nose. You can't help but notice the blood. "'Sides, I DRINK the stuff."

Goddammit, what is this bitch's brain MADE of!? She's gonna get eaten and THEN she's gonna drown! Bitten! Mangled! Masticated! Asphyxiated via water-

(Cont.)

>>43383456
"Shit! Are you serious!?" She's suddenly a nervous wreck, her eyes flitting back and forth as she tenses up into a fight-or-flight stance. "Eaten... THEN drowned? No! Anything but that!" she wails. "It's my only weakness! Oh no!"

You stare at her for a heartbeat. If you weren't standing right in front of her and hearing her voice, you'd have thought she was being completely sarcastic.

"Move it, move it!" The doomed marine shouts, shoving you and Mojang forward before breaking into a full-out run. "We can't let that happen! That's not righteous at all! To the teleporter!"

You stare at the dust cloud she's kicking up, before taking off at a run right behind her. What the hell is this person's PROBLEM!?

Mojang looks a little shell-shocked herself, shaking her head in wonder. "She's... she's a colorful character, isn't she, oneechan?"

Anything you might've said in response to that is cut off by the void shark's roar. There's a flash of light, and something explodes far above your head and godDAMMIT, does everything here shoot high-yield explosives or something!?

You risk a glance behind you. The void shark swims through the air at a leisurely pace, its wide mouth gaping even wider as it appears to take aim out in front of you- probably aiming for the marine? Or the sheer cliff wall in front of you-

(Cont.)

>>43383476
The cold fingers of dawning horror creep down your spine. To get here, you and Mojang scaled down the side of your fortress's floating island and hopped down a series of floating rocks. Climbing back up that way- the SLOW way- will leave the three of you sitting ducks.

The hyperdimension continues to flood with water. It will reach your position in ten to fifteen minutes, and it's not noticeably closer... yet.

[ ] [DIG FOR YOUR LIFE] Carve a tunnel into the underside of your realm, Endinomon. Risky for many reasons, but the fastest way to get out of the line of fire!
[ ] [TELEPORTER] The doomed marine mentioned some sort of teleporter- if you can trust her word, her sanity, and the hope that if it DOES exist, it won't dump you into the void.
[ ] [NONE PURER] Try that- that hand-holding shit with Mojang again! If there was ever another time you could use another ace-in-the-hole, it's now!
[ ] [FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT] You'll die if you run, but you stand to gain a lot if you can take down that void shark- but only if you kill it in time.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43383493
>[ ] [NONE PURER] Try that- that hand-holding shit with Mojang again! If there was ever another time you could use another ace-in-the-hole, it's now!

>>43383493
>[ ] [TELEPORTER] The doomed marine mentioned some sort of teleporter- if you can trust her word, her sanity, and the hope that if it DOES exist, it won't dump you into the void.
She was using it before right?

>>43383493
>[ ] [DIG FOR YOUR LIFE] Carve a tunnel into the underside of your realm, Endinomon. Risky for many reasons, but the fastest way to get out of the line of fire!

>>43383493
>[ ] [FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT] You'll die if you run, but you stand to gain a lot if you can take down that void shark- but only if you kill it in time.

>>43383493
>[ ] [DIG FOR YOUR LIFE] Carve a tunnel into the underside of your realm, Endinomon. Risky for many reasons, but the fastest way to get out of the line of fire!
We'll fight it on fortress ground.

>>43383493
[X] [TELEPORTER] The doomed marine mentioned some sort of teleporter- if you can trust her word, her sanity, and the hope that if it DOES exist, it won't dump you into the void.

digging is probably a super bad idea, partially because things can follow us

>>43383493
>[DIG]
STRKIE THE EARTH!!! It has HUGE GUTS!

wait, if Endinomon is a floating fortress island, can we find adamantite if we poke around the bottom?

>>43383493
>[ ] [NONE PURER] Try that- that hand-holding shit with Mojang again! If there was ever another time you could use another ace-in-the-hole, it's now!

>>43383664
Well, it IS an entire Dwarf Fortress world/region/embark area crammed into one floating island.

There's a good chance it goes down real deep, with all the good and bad things that implies.

>>43383604 replacing this with
[X] [WRITE-IN] DIG TO THE TELEPORTER WHILE HOLDING HANDS

>>43383685
But if it's floating, we just need to skip over to a different island and look from below.

.....into the terrifying maw of !FUN! Hell.

>>43383493
>[X] [DIG FOR YOUR LIFE] Carve a tunnel into the underside of your realm, Endinomon. Risky for many reasons, but the fastest way to get out of the line of fire!
digdigdig
Wait. This teleporter. Is it movable? Could we haul it into our tunnel?

>>43383727
That's certainly something to think about! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

>>43383493
>[ ] [DIG FOR YOUR LIFE] Carve a tunnel into the underside of your realm, Endinomon. Risky for many reasons, but the fastest way to get out of the line of fire!

File: 1391572189171.jpg (37 KB, 752x375)

37 KB JPG

>>43383493
Alright, looks like DIG is the winning vote, so-

>Urist Twelfthbay and Mojang strike the earth! Again!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: variable, 85 for flawless success; BONUS: +20!

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>43383869
goooo miner dice

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>43383869

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>43383869

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>43383869
the miners fail at mining!?

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>43383869
dice...

>>43383879
>>43383890
>>43383904
Mediocre/10 would not WITNESS

>>43383879
>72
I guess

>>43383932
Hey now, 52 + 20 is still a miner success.

>>43383960
FUCK YOU CARLOS

>>43383960
Carlos eat a dick

File: 1372736130883.png (999 KB, 1010x692)

999 KB PNG

>>43383493
>>43383869
>>43383879
>[X] [DIG FOR YOUR LIFE!]
>DC: variable.........
>Reasonably great success that totally won't come back and bite you in the ass at some later date!

If it was just you and Mojang? You'd have pulled it off flawlessly. Not the digging part, since the both of you can do that with your eyes closed; the part where you manage to lose the giant horrific void shark so that it doesn't know where you fucking /live/.

It's amazing what a little mortal terror can do. While the void shark's got its attention on the doomed marine, you weave between the islands and, in one running leap, the two of you slam into the cliff wall of Endinomon like a goddamn drill bit, mining picks at the fore, and immediately begin chewing a tunnel straight through the rock. Ignoring the loose debris scratching down your forearms and getting into your eyes, your mouth, and your nose, you dig as fast as dwarvenly possible; Mojang's right beside you every step of the way.

Right. Tunnel's probably long enough, and there's no damn way a void shark that big will notice an entrance hole this small. Surrounded by the comforting darkness of the underground, you lean against the wall and just start to relax when you suddenly remember that you've got a /third/ member of your party still out there.

(Cont.)

File: 1419268984887.gif (3.02 MB, 230x269)

3.02 MB GIF

>>43384233
Spitting out a curse, you scramble back through the tunnel and poke your head out. Standing not one foot away from the entrance, on an outcropping of rock scarcely big enough to fit someone her size, the doomed marine has her pistol out and plinks away at the void shark, screaming senseless battle cries as the monstrosity rears back for another blast-

You grab the marine's calf and pull her down into the tunnel, ignoring her roar of protest. You get her stupid ass further in by a mixture of prods, shoves, and growled threats- and THEN you take a loose rock and start sealing up the tunnel behind you.

Just before you do, the entrance to your tunnel is momentarily blotted out by the void shark's huge unblinking eye, and you swear you see it narrow in vengeful hatred before your view's blocked by the newly-constructed wall.

NOW you lean back against the wall, feeling your legs shake from a mixture of terror, adrenaline, and alcohol deprivation. Goddammit, you don't get paid nearly enough for ANY of this shit.

"Amen to that, my friend," Doomgirl nods sagely.

You squeeze your eyes shut, count backwards from ten, and proceed to kick her wildly in the shins regardless.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

>>43384274
>>[TO BE CONTINUED]
And everything was okay.

File: end.jpg (17 KB, 512x512)

17 KB JPG

Right, gonna end it there for the night! Next time, we'll pick up on November 2nd, Monday, at 9:30-ish pm EST! As usual, updates'll go on https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest!

Thanks for participating, guys, and hope to see you next time!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S ACTUALLY MORE THIS TIME! Enough for a post or two, at least! So please bear with me for another 15-20 minutes! -ish!

>>43384316
so, half an hour?

>>43384333
You mean hour.

>>43384295
>Just before you do, the entrance to your tunnel is momentarily blotted out by the void shark's huge unblinking eye, and you swear you see it narrow in vengeful hatred before your view's blocked by the newly-constructed wall.

>>43384376
AND EVERYTHING WAS OKAY.

>>43384295
>And everything was okay.
>everything was okay.
>okay.
cryingdwarves.cat
It's the dwarf fortress moe personification we talking about. Everything will be NOT okay.

>>43384405
It'll be fine. When we're forced to pick up Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber at Mojang's insistence, we can leave them to fight it.

Hmm. Maybe we should go after them next.

>>43384428
I say we need to find builders first. Like Thirteen-chan

>>43384464
Well, if she shows up on our list of adventurers in range, we'll surely go for her. Gotta work with what we have, though.

>>43384464
Picking up some dedicated ed muscle would probably help us if this shark has any intention of coming back.

For Urist and Mojang are good enough for builders for what we have.

File: White_Heart.png (186 KB, 311x839)

186 KB PNG

You are Blanc, the patron goddess of the glorious nation of Lowee. You're also known as CPU White Heart, though that mostly refers to your HDD form. Honestly, when you started out, your favorite color wasn’t white- you were always more partial to red- but in your young and foolish days, you couldn’t help but marvel at the snow blanketing your nation year-round and gave yourself that name for whatever reason. Well, at least it grew on you.

Your favored weapon is the ludicrously over-sized war hammer, both out of preference and because Lowee’s native ore (Nintendium, rare but nigh unbreakable) gives it the heft and density perfectly suited for perfect smashing power. It's patriotism and functionality all rolled into one happily oversized bone-breaking package that just so happens to be bigger than the average person, and /much/ larger than you yourself.

You are not compensating for anything, of course, and you will demolish anyone who even hints at it-

"Where'd she go? She was just here a second ago!"
"Up, my comrades! Look up!"
"CPU White Heart! Oh, glorious day!"

Of course, even though your base of operations looks like an overlarge church, being a Gamindustri goddess isn’t all prayer-mongering, belief-gathering, and grand public appearances in and out of HDD form (and, when the need arises, copious amounts of violence). Goddesses are expected to deal with matters of state or, in Neptune's case, at least exert enough energy to nod “yes” or “no” to government-type people asking questions about important things that you can’t be arsed to care about. Deep in your heart, you sympathize with her, because you've got much better things to do with your time, like writing stellar short stories about chosen warriors with tragic pasts and cursed powers and-

"Don't let her get away! We almost nailed her this time!"
"Please! Let us show you our respects!"
"And then you shall be immortalized in the annals of our order, Lady Blanc!"

(Cont.)

File: Pulque.jpg (70 KB, 600x600)

70 KB JPG

>>43384780
Anyway, your goddess-ly duties include keeping an eye on up-and-coming groups and underground movements. You count yourself very lucky in this regard. In other more realistic universes, goddess-led nations surely have to deal with the threat of insurrection and/or fanatics who want to kill goddesses (or at least punch them in the face).

With how Gamindustri is preternaturally geared toward gaming, cute girls doing cute things, and wacky fanservice shenanigans, you and your fellow goddesses don't have to worry about that kind of thing, save for the odd incursion by Arfoire and her ilk. The only groups you have to keep a tight leash on are things like the 2DPD Brigade ("Two-Dimension Pig Disgusting," which rejects the big-eyes-small-mouth archetype to idolize some fantastically grotesque thing with pronounced noses and wide mouths), or the Miniskirt Crusaders or the Ponytails Are Justice Group (whose aims are self-explanatory), and THAT consists of making sure they don't get too excited-

"Fire at will! FIRE AT WILL!"

... on the flip side, you have to deal with groups that take their passions to a whole other level. Groups like the "What Is The Identity Of This Mysterious White Liquid?" Order.

You twirl through the air, dodging thick streams of viscous white liquid that's the bastard child of some fermented alcoholic sap and whatever other nasty shit they're packing in it. Dammit, that was way too close. Whatever goddamn rifles or cannons or hoses they're using have got /range/; you thought you could outdistance them at this height, but you're just a big target. And say what you will about this perverted order, but they've got members to spare and the strategic knack of guerrilla fighters- spotters on the rooftops, snipers nested in higher floors, and photographers all over the place, ready to immortalize you the moment you get covered in ~mysterious white liquid~ (everyone knows damn well what it LOOKS like, even if they don't know what it is).

(Cont.)

>Dog Days quest, HDF quest, and RB3 all on the same day
What a good day.

File: murder heart.png (449 KB, 901x506)

449 KB PNG

>>43384802
You grit your teeth, shoving down the urge to rampage through them and destroy them all. They're all over Lowee. LOWEE, goddammit! This isn't a travesty, this is an embarrassment!

You COULD fly further up, outpacing their hoses and losing them completely, but they'll just turn their attention on all YOUR adventurers, splattering them in ~mysterious white liquid~ (the drink's called pulque, although the WITOTMWL Order adds enough culinary ingredients to turn it into an even fouler-smelling cocktail) and taking THEIR pictures. That's why you even deigned to expose yourself in the first place; ever since Vert was dumb enough to get splattered, these assholes have been on the rampage, and they've made it their life goal to catch the other four goddesses.

They got two-and-a-half out of four. After Vert, Noire was hit next, and she's been holed up in the Basilicom ever since. Neptune, through stupid good luck, has never been hit, mostly through freak coincidences and Iffy and Compa accidentally getting in the way, and so the Order's delaying her "hit" until later.

And that brings you to today. One way or another, this nasty otaku blitz will end in Lowee, with you.

You take a moment to choose your target- a particularly broad thoroughfare filled only with WITOTMWL lackeys, and the old road is slated to be repaired anyway- before flexing your 'wings' and dropping into a steep dive, eyes narrowed. You're going fast, too fast for them to redirect their hoses, and their panicked shouts are music to your ears- ESPECIALLY when you pull out your hammer at just the right moment to make them realize they've got nowhere to run.

(Cont.)

File: Nepuilme49.png (158 KB, 254x257)

158 KB PNG

>>43384944
The Rumble Pak slams into the aging pavement with enough force to turn it into a crater, and the sorry bastards go flying every which way. No casualties, because when all's said and done, this would still be the absolute stupidest thing to kill someone for- that's why you CHOSE this weapon for this mission.

Bellowing something unprintable, you bring your hammer around and demolish a tank of their Mysterious White Liquid; that's all you've got time for before you're forced to retreat, flying between buildings with reinforcements hot on your heels.

[TO BE CONTINUED]


Aaand that's all I've got time for! Will post the rest either next time or the time after that and then it's probably going to be time for ANOTHER bonus scene, tohoho. Hope you guys enjoyed this... scene? thing?, and catch you all later!

File: 1438160129067.jpg (28 KB, 426x346)

28 KB JPG

>>43384944

>>43384944
>and they've made it their life goal to catch the other four goddesses.

Other three goddesses, I mean! Or all four goddesses.

File: 1442025200287.jpg (1.83 MB, 3267x4178)

1.83 MB JPG

>>43384959
I liked it

>>43384959
>Ponytails Are Justice Group
What fags, everyone knows it's twintails or bust.

>>43384959
Thanks for the thread as always Blorp, can't wait for next time.

>>43384959
Kinda odd, pretty amusing. I wanna see Blanc covered in white liquid and on the verge of tears.

I MISS OUT ON EVERYTHING
Fuck

>>43384983
Nah, it's hilarious to have them lie in wait for Arfoire to pop up and then splatter her.

Spent all day playing RB3.

Fuck.