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“Oh, Princess, I can’t believe it’s actually happening!” I embrace Ava. “After so many trials and tribulations, fights and flights, we’re finally going to make love!”

As I snuggle her, I absently notice that the Princess’s face is oddly sticky and sweet today.

>>43016155
LICK IT

>>43016155
Give her a smooch.

you seem to be humping a giant lollipop.

that seems to be a giant lollipop.

>>43016155
That's a giant lollipop, I say!!

Holy shit op where have you been.
Kiss the girl!

For reference, Raban's gonna dream about fucking the princess and there's nothing you could do to stop her.

What the fuck is the objective of this quest?

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I go in for a deep, romantic kiss. Then I move on to sensually licking her face.

It's only then that, with a shock, I realize that this isn't the Princess at all! It's just a giant novelty lollipop designed to LOOK like the Princess!

How could this be?! Did I fail to notice Ava's true confectionary nature up until this point? No... No way! No oddly-sized candy in the world could possibly have her sweet, sexy curves!

There must be something else behind this. Something horrible and sinister. In fact, there's something clearly off about this whole situation. I'm just not entirely sure what it is.

>>43016512
Ponder the nature of this conundrum while tasting the princess lollipop. It'll be practice when we get to the real deal.

>>43016512
Well, you got a free lolli. Enjoy it while you can.

>>43016503
Fucking the princess.

>>43016512
Examine lollipop for clues.

where is the rest of the group?

>>43016512
Look around, where are you? Maybe the princess is nearby.

>>43016503
There's a princess. There's a lot of assholes and morons who, consciously or not, try to keep the MC from fucking this princess. We must persevere.

We're never going to fuck the princess.

>>43016512
is the lollipop heavy? if not carry it with you when searching for the princess. sugar will help.

>>43016616
Don't be such a pessimist anon. We'll fuck the princess soon enough, you'll see! These interruptions can't last forever.

>>43016616
That will be the series finale. It happens off camera.

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I examine the lollipop, searching for clues. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. It's just a large piece of candy.

I take another lick. Wow! It really IS royally delicious! Still, I can't get distracted.

I peek out from underneath the giant mushroom, trying to get my bearings. I spot Yew on a small cloud. She's deftly fighting what seems to be a bandit.

After a further bit of searching, I notice Will on another cloud. He's talking to a dangerously sexy lady who seems very familiar, though I can't quite remember where I've seen her before.

shit! watch out for owls!

>>43016669
Go help Yew!

>>43016648
Has anybody thought that we're not going to (literally) fuck the princess because the princess is (figuratively) fucking with us?

Or that she'll be the one doing the (literal) fucking?

>>43016669
Sexy lady you say??
No, not yet. Find your way to Yew and see what her altercation with the bandit is all about.

>>43016669
check out Will's sexy lady

>>43016713
>Or that she'll be the one doing the (literal) fucking?
T-that's preposterous anon! Raban is the smooth, suave, experienced lady in this equation!

>>43016669
I'm sure Yew will be fine. Go see who Will is talking to.

>>43016669
Cheer on yew under your badass mushroom. Lick lollipop. Yell at Will to ask where the princess went off to.

>>43016713
No, no. That wouldn't work grammatically you know? Probably. We're gonna fuck the princess real good.

>>43016775
>T-that's preposterous anon! Raban is the smooth, suave, experienced lady in this equation!
Oh, God, the princess is going to ravage us sexually, I can feel it in my bones... There's got to be a twist to all of these failures with us trying to bone her.

>>43016669
Save Yew, dammit. You can fly, I'm sure.

>>43016860
You're just being paranoid, I mean she SAID she was inexperienced! You don't trust the princess anon?

Who'd want a hot, authoritative princess to fuck them anyway?

>>43016669
Reach for the skies.

wake up

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I fly over to Yew's cloud.

"Hey, Yew, what's going on?"

"Get back, Raban! Can't you see that I'm fighting an enemy to the throne?!"

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“Nyargh! I’ll steal yer thrones!”

But Yew, you are fighting the throne.

DUN DUN DUN.

>>43016977
Need help with this guy, Yew?

>>43016963
Yeah, but can't you just clown him? It's just a bandit.

>>43016977
Give Yew some ranged support.

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"Such a terrible fiend..." Yew sheds a single tear. "But don't worry, Raban. I'll protect you and the Princess!"

>>43016977
Excuse me good sir, would you happen to have seen a princess? About this tall, hot as hell, going to fuck me soon?

compliment his stylish fu manchu + goatee combo

>>43017009
Ask if she's seen the princess. And if she knows how we got here.

Ask the man with bad written on his shirt why he is out to steal thrones. I suppose you could sit in one when you get tired, but they are heavy and inconvenient to carry with you.

>>43017009
Tell her she's very attractive when defending thrones and/or princesses. Speaking of the latter...where's she at?

>>43017009
It's just a bandit...

Wait, was Will chatting up with US on his cloud? while were actually standin under a mushroom with a piece of candy on a stick?

>>43017230
That's preposterous. But who knows in this strange realm. We'll have to investigate once this, uh, bandit-problem is handled.

Can Yew fuck the princess?

>>43017383
Raban will fuck Yew if she tries.

>>43017580
Uuuuuh, we certainly didn't lose the princess, no sir.

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I wave to the bandit. “Excuse me, good sir, would you happen to have seen a princess? About this tall, hot as hell, going to fuck me soon?”

“The only princesses I’ve seen are the ones I’m gonna steal, along with their thrones! Nyargh!” The bandit twirls his mustache.

“Why would you steal thrones, anyway? I mean, yeah, they’re comfy to sit in when you’re tired, but they’re all heavy and inconvenient.”

“Because I’m just that evil! Nyargh!”

“It’s no use, Raban! You can’t reason with an enemy to the throne. They’re too evil!”

“Uh, okay. Say, Yew, do you have any idea how we got here?”

“Huh?” She blinks, confused. “The usual way, I guess. Stuff happened, and now we’re here.”

“What stuff, though?”

“That’s… that’s not important right now, Raban! I’m busy protecting the throne!”

“You do know that that’s just a bandit with a nice mustache, right?”

“Thank you for the compliment! Nyargh!”

“Oh, come on, Raban, don’t be nice to enemies of the throne! That’s, like, SUPER treason!”

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine, I’m pretty sure everyone gets a free pass on their first treason.“ She shrugs. “Besides, you’re friends with the princess, so you’re probably immune to all criminal urges, right?”

“…yeah, totally.” I nod. “Hey, while we're on that topic, do you have any idea where the Princess might be, Yew?”

“What? Isn’t she with you?”

>>43017619
Naah, that was just a lollipop. Must have been the work of some enemy of the throne.

>>43017619
Haven't seen her. Forget about this guy, we got bigger fish to fry. Help me pry Will away from that sexy lady over there.

beat up the bandit fast, then search for the princess, she's more important than thrones

>>43017619
Show our lack of treasonous tendencies by fighting this enemy of the throne in Dynamic Combat.

While we're fucking the princess, Yew will make a good guard.

>>43016512
>>43016669
Go back to /a/, you lollicon.

>>43017619
What happens if you're nice to an enemy of the throne but you don't know they're enemies of the throne?

>>43017846
This pun is treason anon.

>>43017846
/sweets/ board when?

>>43017619
"I thought she was with you!"

>>43017619
You're the one supposed to be protecting her, I just live here

>>43018033
Well, I don't think Raban lives HERE here. Just in the kingdom generally.

>>43017885
It's his first one, so he gets a pass.

>>43018285
I can't argue with that. But I'm watching him!

OP please no dying

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“No. I thought she was, but it was actually a… very convincing imitation. She isn’t with you?”

“No.”

“Come on, then. Drop the bandit and help me find her. We can go ask Will, he might know where she is.”

“I can’t just abandon my duties, Raban!”

“That’s not what I said. I said ‘drop the bandit’.” I wave to the bandit, then point. “Hey, look, a throne!”

“What? Where?!” The bandit turns, searching, and I quickly shove him off of the cloud. “Curses! Nyaaaaaaaaaarrrrggghhh~*”

“See?” I grin.

"Oh."

“Alright, now let’s go.”

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“…and, of course, communicating with kindness and compassion is integral to success in life.”

“Wow! Please tell me more, Will!”

“Heh, maybe next time. Anyway, I think you’ve finally started to understand the general concepts I’ve always been trying to get across to you. Am I right?”

>>43018905
Nah.

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“Yeah! You ARE right! About everything!”

“Yes, yes, I know.” Will laughs. “So, Raban, can you tell me what you learned today?”

“I learned that I should listen and communicate my plans and ideas clearly, especially when I’m talking to people like you, my best friend since childhood! I also learned to respect other human beings, rather than objectify them and treat them like objects like I always used to do!”

“And do you have anything to say to me?”

“Yes! I’m so, SO sorry for turning you into a woman, Will! I’m even more sorry that I caused you to become an accomplice in high treason just so I could have sex with a princess I barely know! I promise that I’ll do everything I can to help you get through this difficult, emotionally traumatic situation, and I won’t grope you or try to proposition you ever again! I’ll also respect your manliness and not force you to wear frilly dresses that you secretly think are super comfortable even though you act like you don’t want them!”

…

…wow.

>>43018929
Make Will turn into a girl again with your mind.

>>43018929
Grab will by the crotch and quietly jerk him off.
For reasons.

>>43018929
Confront this terrible, terrible version of ourself. Has she no self-respect?!

>>43018929
Corrupt dream you and get her help finding the princess

>>43019025
ew gay

>>43018929
make out with Dream!Raban

>>43018994
And give him a frilly dress

>>43018929
Yeah, we don't need Will for this. Off to find the princess with the two of us!

>>43018929
Make out with that sexy beast Raban

>>43019056
Why not make him nude?

>>43018929
Objectify yourself

>>43018929
Turn him back into a girl, and you back into, well, you. This is gonna teach Will an important lesson. Not sure which lesson, but it definitely will.

>>43019136
Raban does that every day, anon! Of course, she doesn't always meet her own clone...

>>43018929
I'm sure there is an important lesson we could learn here, but I can't quite seem to figure it out.

>>43019197
Will is a traitor to the throne?

>>43018929
This is probably the only chance you'll ever have to molest yourself.

Don't waste it.

>>43018905
That's not Will, he's way too masculine. And I'm not talking about his re-found genitals here, thread 1 he was pretty damn girly. Point this out to this impostor!

>>43019233
No no, we're not Yew. It was something else.
Well, if it's really important I'm sure it'll come up again.

>>43019294
For sure. That's how it works.

>>43018929
This other Raban is really cute, if sadly being brain-washed.

>>43018929
My own clone! It will do until we find the princess.

>>43019376
>his other Raban is really cute
I bet that's what normal Raban would look like if she weren't a huge pervert with no respect for other peoples wishes or boundaries.
It would be fun to corrupt her until they are exactly the same.

>>43019463
I assume this is our plan.

imagine it, a three way with the princess.

>>43019500
Yew can join too if she wants too.

>>43019481
I get it, so the plan is to make Will wake up screaming, and then have his screams wake us up. Brilliant!

>>43019543
That would be incidental if anything. At any point assume the plan is to fuck the princess, and any other attractive woman we come across. Nothing more specific is needed.

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“Why hello there, sexy.”

“Huh? Whoa, you look just like me!”

“Yes, yes I do. My, but you’re very attentive, aren’t you?”

“I try to always do my best!”

“Excellent, excellent. Pay close attention. Now that Will’s finished with his silly little lectures, I’m here to educate you about the more important things in life.”

“Ooh, I love learning! What kinds of things are you going to teach me?”

“Well, I was thinking we could start off with a participatory lesson on something I call ‘complex masturbation’…”

“Golly!”

>>43020005
Raban knows best!

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“Um, why are there two Rabans?” Will blinks. “I don’t get it.”

“Oh, shush, Will." I idly wave my hand at him. "Just be a woman again, would you?”

“Wh- HEY!” Will stares down at himself in shock. He fills out that frilly dress pretty nicely. “Damn it, Raban, why the fuck did you do that?! Wait… HOW did you do that?”

>>43020038
Well he's never looked all buff and scruffy like that right? It was probably some kinda anomaly that self-corrected.

>>43020038
Give the fella a boob honk.

>>43020038
Who knows. Hey, you seen the princess?

>>43020038
Pretty sure some magic shit is happening.
Like 98% sure

>>43020038
Make out with other-you, to power up. Then split to search for the princess, Will can take Yew. You gotta teach the clone all about how to Raban.

>>43020038
Probably some kind of dream.

>>43020038
>Same way you summoned some disgustingly doe-eyed copy of me to lecture at I'm guessing.

>>43020038
Isn't Will cuter like this, alt-Raban?

>>43020038
Is that a new dress? Cool.
We should try imagining ourself in a more befitting outfit. Maybe with a crown and cape.

>>43020309
Lets not get too sidetracked. Still gotta find the princess.

>>43020329
Wonder if we can imagine that too.
Try focusing on a red thread between Raban and the princess! One we can follow.

GATAI with yourself. become ultra mode.

>>43020360
>GATAI with yourself
>Gatai with moe Raban
>Gain her power and knowledge
>Learn what an ass we've been
>Still don't act any different

>>43020615
>Can now make mightily convincing doe-eyes capable of melting the heart of any maiden

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“I’m not sure.”

“Yeah right.”

“Okay, then explain how you made a disgustingly doe-eyed clone of me.”

“I, uh…” He blinks. “I’m not sure.”

“Exactly.” I give my clone a kiss, then glance back at Will. “I think this is all either magic shit or a dream. I’m leaning more towards dream, though, since I apparently have imagination superpowers now.”

“Figures.” Will sighs. “I guess that explains why you were actually listening to me for once.”

“Hm? Sorry, didn’t catch that. Hey, sexy second self, don’t you think Will looks cuter like this?”

Clone-Raban stares at Will. “He IS pretty cute…”

Will groans. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, would you please stop corrupting yourself?

“Never!” I grope my clone a little bit. She squeaks in surprise, startled. “Fuck, this is awesome. Hey, wherever we are, can we just stay here forever?”

“But Raban, what about the Princess?” Yew speaks up.

“Oh, right. Let’s see if I can put these superpowers to good use.” I imagine a red string connecting me to the Princess, and it appears. “Come on, let’s follow that trail!”

>>43021376
Fuck yeah, we're great at this.

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After a short bit of flying from cloud to cloud, following the red string, we turn a corner and spot Ava. She’s tied up, and a familiar-looking oddly-dressed man is standing guard.

“Wait, why is Yew’s bandit here?”

“You! You threw me off of a cloud!” The bandit seems lost for a moment, then jumps into a pose, throwing his arm in front of the Princess. “Never mind. You’re all under my spell, and there’s no escape for you now!”

“Uh, what?”

“It is I, Zixzaxzoziomoriatto, second of the Princess Retrieval Attack Team Specialists!” He flourishes. “I have trapped you all within the world of dreams. The authorities are on their way to collect your physical bodies as we speak!”

“Why do you guys keep doing this?” Ava sighs. “Just let me have sex with my hot peasant maybe-girlfriend, already.”

“No can do, your majesty! Clearly, you’ve been put under the sway of mind-controlling magic, so I’m afraid your words are meaningless to me.”

“Ugh. Fine, whatever. Hey, Raban!” Ava calls out. “Do your thing! Kick this guy's ass!"

>>43021425
You look nice in ropes, Ava! No half-assed bandit is gonna keep me away from you!

>>43021425
Imagine the bandit is tied up in a sack. That should do it.

>>43021425
This guy is probably able to counter any dream magic, so let's try to imagine the Princess untied. As a test.

Also, give the princess a hero's sword and armor.

tie him up with red string. control it like a snake.

>>43021425
Ask him what's on his shirt. Then, when he looks down, uppercut!

>>43021480
Or imagine him off another cliff

>>43021425
Poke him in the third eye

And change the ropes into a better configuration.

>>43021425
Imagine we don't completely suck at fighting.

>>43021425
Imagine a creature in a box that is fiercely loyal to you, extremely effective at causing mind damage, and unable to be constrained, harmed, or limited by any imaginary constructs.

Notice that it is no longer inside the box.

>>43021425
>>43021508
I like this idea to start, supporting!

Imagine he's a cute girl.

>>43021425
Tell him his moustache is dumb then suckerpunch him.

>>43021541
Imagine something that you didn't copypaste from xkcd.

Make out with Dream Raban to confuse & distract dream bandit and arouse the princess.

>>43021625
We gotta do it afterwards if not now. Ava is a luck lady.

>>43021425
Challenge him to a duel! Whoever can make Will blush first, wins.

Gonna admit, this made me gain a selfcest fetish.

>>43021799
You didn't already have one? What a plebeian. I bet you aren't into autoimpregnation either.

>>43021799
It's alright anon. That's only natural.

>Clearly, you’ve been put under the sway of mind-controlling magic, so I’m afraid your words are meaningless to me.
Technically, haven't YOU put us under mind control dream magic here? Doesn't that make you guilty of treason against your princess?

Now, if you'll excuse me, the princess and I need to go off and dream-fuck, since I'm pretty sure that stupid vampire curse is gonna keep real-her asleep for days.

>>43022331
Sadly, our antagonists all seem immune to reason and charm. No doubt he'd explain it away with some inane excuse.

>>43021425
kick him in the dream dick

>>43021425
Use dream clone as a distraction to keep talking, and then get him from behind

>>43022991
Raban would probably rather get Ava from behind...

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“You look nice in ropes, Ava! No half-assed bandit is gonna keep me away from you!”

“Thanks, Raban!”

“No problem!” I turn back to the others. “Hey, clone! Come here!”

“Huh? Okay. Why, what is- mmph!”

I vigorously make out with Dream-Raban.

“Wow, Raban.” Will raises an eyebrow. “You certainly have Interesting priorities.”

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After a short while, I finish kissing myself.

“Wow, uh…” Zixzaxzoziomoriatto looks confused. “Was that supposed to be a battle tactic, or… wait, why does my voice sound funny? And, hey, are my clothes loose? What th- oh, son of a bitch!”

“Hah! Got you!” I grin. “Nice. You look even cuter than Will.”

“That’s so unfair! I want my mustache back!” The dream bandit wobbles a bit on his new ladylegs. “Stealing someone’s manhood while he’s distracted?! That’s playing dirty!”

“I know, right?” Will yells. “It fucking sucks!”

“Wow, Will.” I raise an eyebrow. “You certainly have interesting priorities.”

“Shut up.”

“Nice one, honey!” Ava yells. Her ropes are gone, replaced by a suit of armor. A sword shines in her hand. “Wait, is it too early in our relationship to use nicknames?”

“I’m fine with it!” I yell back. “Are you cool with me kissing another woman like that?”

“I think it’s okay? I mean, I’m not sure how cheating logistics work when it comes to clones!”

“Me neither! Say, would you be interested in possibly including my clone in-?“

“Would you two please focus?!” Zixzaxzoziomoriatto sounds annoyed. “This fight’s not over just because I’ve got ovaries!”

“One sec, honey!” Ava calls out. “Let me just decapitate this guy, and I’ll be right with you!

>>43023111
>“This fight’s not over just because I’ve got ovaries!”

No, it's definitely over.

>>43023111
This is going well!

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“I don’t think so!” Zixzaxzoziomoriatto conjures wildly. Within seconds, he’s on top of a large stone tower. A cannon aimed by a dream-cannoneer is pointed at my head. “You might have gotten the drop on me - I certainly wasn’t expecting you to be a lucid dreamer like myself - but you haven’t got a chance in a fair fight!”

The cannon’s fuse quickly burns down.

“Surrender now, and maybe I’ll go easy on you!” The dream bandit pulls his now ill-fitting mask off so he can see more clearly. “If you die in this world, you’ll never return to your real body, after all!”

>>43023163
use your dream powers to aim the dream cannon at her face and kill him with a dream cannonball

>>43023163
Fill cannon with confetti!

>>43023163
Imagine all of us standing on the tower right behind her instead.

>>43023163
Summon up a U-bendy tube to redirect the cannonball at him.

the cannon is actually a pile of kittens!

>>43023163
Zix is in the cannon

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>>43023163
Give Zix some better fitting clothes. Really girly ones. A bikini

Also turn cannon into a tiny squirt gun.

And turn the castle into a sand castle.

>>43023163
Wow, less than a minute into womanhood and you're already erecting tall, hard towers and trying to shoot off balls.

>>43023163
She is actually aiming 90 degrees off-target because her sight's gone wonky.

>>43023163
Make the cannon shoot out a little "BOOM" flag

>>43023332
Hey, this is the most understandable moment of penis insecurity there could be, anon.

>>43023163
Think with portals.
Blue portal in front of the cannon, orange portal behind Zixzaxzoziomoriatto's head.

>>43023332
GAAAAAAAAAY

>>43023163
>>43023329
I like anon's idea, backing. In fact, bikinis for everyone! Except Ava who needs her armor.

>>43023415
Maybe we'll get a beach episode one of these days.

>>43023163
Zix now has a clone of her own that also wants to do selfcest.

>>43023332
Nice, I'll support this.

>>43023402
>>43023385
>>43023332
The cannon is a penis metaphor. If it shoots you, you'll wake up pregnant.

>>43023441
Oh lawd

>>43023441
>give her a male clone
>too busy exploring her newfound womanhood to want to steal our princess

>>43023163
Without her mask femZix looks kinda cute. Not as cute as the Princess, but enough to warrant a complement.

>>43023496
>wakes up confused, nauseous, but with a strangely fulfilled glow

>>43023579
I'm kinda hoping that whatever happens to the dream bandit in the dream also happens in real life.

I mean, how was he supposed to kidnap the princess if he couldn't affect her physical body?

>>43023562
If we're going to complement anybody I demand we call them dreamy.

So... Raban's ego and imagination are actual superweapons we can use in a dream world? Cool.

Can he even keep us trapped here? Won't we get woken up no matter what when the vampire blood we left all over the street explodes when the sun rises?

>>43023163
Dream up a giant dildo shoved down the canon, so when it goes off, it explodes.

>>43023692
Puns are treason anon.

>>43023692
Only the princess is worthy of being called dreamy.

>>43023163
"If you survive, remember to tell the others the princess ordered me to fight you."

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“Wow, less than a minute into womanhood and you're already erecting tall, hard towers and trying to shoot off balls.”

“Yeah, I - wait, what?”

“I mean, I get it, I do, this is the most understandable moment of penis insecurity there could be, but still.”

“What?! No, I just - this was the most intimidating thing I could think up on short notice, that's all!”

“Oh, yes, I’m sure it was.”

“What exactly are you trying to say? Is this some kind of mind game?!”

“No, no, I'm just calling it like I see it. Big, scraggly bandit suddenly turns into a small, beautiful girl? You’re trying to safeguard your masculinity. I understand.”

>>43024874
Poor bandit-chan.

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“…n-no one’s ever called me 'beautiful' before…”

>>43024874
Bandit-chan had a tough life.

Too bad we can't take her with us, but we already got a full party of four.

>>43024906
M-moe...

>>43024906
"Oh, come on, I'm sure you've been called beautiful lot's of times."

Oh god, what if we convince her she steals men's hearts in dreams or something.

>>43024922
She can be a semi-regular contact. Or Will's familiar.

Don't get shot by the cannon during the touching moment. Dreamtime means the fuse can stop mid-burn, right?

>“If you die in this world, you’ll never return to your real body, after all!”
>“…n-no one’s ever called me 'beautiful' before…”
Wait. If death carries over to the real word, does being transformed into a girl carry over? Can we make the bandit beautiful forever and recruit them?

(And conveniently forget to use dream magic to fix Will, of course).

>>43025060
Maybe turn the cannon into something else while she's distracted?

And turn her into a princess or lady thief?

>>43025060
Yes...'forget'

>>43024906
Really? Do you like it?

I mean, if you want you can definitely get turned into a pretty lady. Ask Will about that.

>>43024906
Really? I don't know why. In this dreamworld at least, you being beautiful is absolute cannon.

>>43024906
That can change, from now on.

>>43024906
I'm sure there's no need for a lovely gal like you to fight other lovely gals like us. Why not call a truce?

Thanks for running, sleep calls.

>>43024906
Time to imagine Raban up there, putting on the moves.

>>43025413
>we give her the clone

>>43025449
It would be sad to part with her before the threesome...but it'd be for a worthy cause.

Huh, can't say I don't love how Raban's libido is constantly at 1000% of what should be healthy.

>>43025542
Not to mention her charisma is infectious.

>>43024906
I told you we should have called her dreamy. Now QM us dead. Surely the fuse has burnt down by now.

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“Really? I don’t know why. Come on, I’m sure you’ve been called beautiful lots of times.”

“No, never.” Zixzaxzoziomoriatto shakes his head. “Not even when I was little.”

“Well, Zix - can I call you Zix? - I think you’re beautiful.”

Zix bites his lip, embarrassed. “Thanks.”

An idea crosses my mind. I go with it, deciding to trust my instinct. “You know, if you want, you can definitely get turned into a pretty lady in the real world, too.”

Zix’s eyes widen a bit. “Th-that… I mean, um, I don’t want that.”

“Are you sure?”

Zix goes quiet. “…No.”

“Before, you said that death carries over into the real world. Does that mean that other stuff might carry over, too?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. Dream magic is kind of unpredictable.”

“Well, even if that doesn’t work, there are other ways. Just ask Will here.”

Will rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, but…” Zix trails off, seeming unsure.

“Say, it’s hard to hear you when you’re all the way up there. Why don’t you come on down?”

“What?! No way! You’ll kill me!”

“No we won’t!” Shouts the Princess. “Promise! It’s a truce!”

“But you’re mind-controlled!”

“No I’m not! Come on, do I sound like I’m brainwashed?”

“…no.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, Zix. We’re not going to hurt you.”

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“O-okay.” Zix gestures, and the castle turns to smoke. Zix falls and lands gently in the clouds. “But this better not be a trap.”

“No trap. It’s a truce.”

“Do you really think I could stay like this?” Zix sounds nervous.

“Sure!”

“But… it’s weird, isn’t it? For me to want to be a… you know?”

>>43026529
I'm gonna feel real bad when Yew shanks him/her for being a bandit cunt

>>43026556
There's no reason you can't keep your dick

>>43026587
Get out.

>>43026556
No, it's not weird to want to be a girl.

>>43026600
I'm just saying, a dick is a man's best friend. One shouldn't abandon a friend over a few honeyed words.

Maybe just make it detachable and store in the medicine cabinet or something.

>>43026622
Yes it is.

He should be wanting to be the little girl

>>43026556
"Naw, girls are AMAZING.
Two words: Multiple. Orgasms."

>>43026556
"I'm a raging lesbian, she's actually a slightly crazed monster hunter, the princess looks way too good in that armor and we're all having this conversation while probably drooling on the floor. We all passed weird a while ago."

>>43026556
Well it's unfortunate and unusual, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

>>43026556
Probably. But there's nothing wrong with that! Weird can often be quite nice!

And what's not weird at all is wanting to be happy. If this will make you happier, then why not?

>>43026556
Nah, the world always needs more beautiful women!

>>43026736
This x 1000

>“But… it’s weird, isn’t it? For me to want to be a… you know?”
Naaaah. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be beautiful. Some people would say who I'm attracted to is weird. I say screw it. There's nothing wrong with doing what makes you happy.

Uh, unless what makes you happy is doing horrible things to people or something.

Waaaait... if we're befriending the dream bandit maybe we can convince them to let the dream last for a while so we actually CAN dream about fucking the princess?

>>43026840
Don't press your luck.

>>43026840
Nah, we need to get back to the real world soon, because there are supposedly authorities coming to abduct our physical bodies.

>>43026840
He said he informed the authorities about us. We need to wake up ASAP

>>43026556
Will: "Does that mean I can change into a buff guy?"
MC: "No. You're a girl forever."

>>43026970
Will x Yew forever

>>43026994
Bandito forever alone?

>>43027008
She's cute enough to find a girl on her own.

>>43027020
Only in her dreams

>>43027008
We'll add her to the royal harem we're establishing here. Raban gets to be the founding member, and in charge of all the other girls, of course.

>>43027053
I don't wanna fuck a harem. I just want to fuck the princess.

>>43027109
We never will, so we may as well settle for her harem

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“No, I don’t think it’s weird to want to be a girl. I mean, even if it was weird, what’s wrong with that? I'm a raging lesbian with an insatiable libido, Will’s actually a slightly crazed monster hunter, the Princess looks way too good in that armor, and we're probably all having this conversation while drooling on the floor. We all passed weird a while ago.” I grin and wrap my arm around Zix’s shoulder. “What’s not weird at all is wanting to be happy. If this will make you happier, then why not? Besides, the world always needs more beautiful women!”

“Thank you.” Zix smiles. “You’re really nice. Like, way, way nicer than the P.R.A.T.S. were.”

“I am pretty nice, yeah, I can’t deny it. Say, would you like me to introduce you to some of the finer points of womanhood?” I lean in. “I’ve got two words for you: ‘multiple orgasms’.”

“Uh… Maybe later.” Zix gently pushes me away, but she doesn’t look uncomfortable. “The authorities are still on their way, remember? I should probably wake you up before they catch you.”

“I guess that’s fair. Still, if we have time, I’m pretty quick, maybe we could just-?”

“Raban, stop molesting the bandit.” Ava crosses her arms.

“Okay, okay.”

“So, uh, hey, maybe it’s just your brainwashing magic kicking in, but I think I’d prefer not going back to the capital. The King doesn't take kindly to failure, and I never much enjoyed being one of the P.R.A.T.S. anyway. After we all wake up, do you think that I could maybe travel around with you guys for a while?”

If the bandit gets to stay a girl, what about Dream Raban? She comes into real world too, right?
Two of us will increase the chances of fucking the princess!

>>43027595
>freckles

Hnnng

She can come...

>>43027595
Hell, why not? The princess needs a royal entourage after all.

Why is Zix so cute?

Mini-bosses have no right being this cute.

>>43027595
Turn to Ava:

Princess Ava, would you accept this humble applicant to join our company?

>and after that
Oh hey, do you think we could stay sleeping long enough that Ava and I could... *poof* Damnit!

>>43027595
"Sure! And there's no brainwashing magic, just raw charm~"

>>43027595
Well okay... I guess the party just grew to 5.

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I turn to the Princess. “Princess Ava, would you accept this humble applicant to join our company?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Ava shrugs.

I turn back to Zix. “You can come!”

“Awesome!”

“Oh, what about Dream-Raban?”

“Huh? What about her?”

“If you might stay a girl in the real world, doesn’t that mean that Dream-Raban could stick around in the real world too?”

“Well, I mean, my transformation could maybe stay because we’re astral projections overlaid into our own subconscious dream patterns, and magic is tied to the astral self. Your dream-clone, on the other hand, is just a normal mental construct made out of the usual semi-astral fluff and dreamstuff, so when we wake up, she’ll most likely simply cease to…”

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“…”

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“…be just a dream, as she enters the real world and somehow turns into a human! Yeah! Totally! I mean, who knows, dream magic is unpredictable, right? Ha ha SO HEY who wants to wake up now because BOY I sure do.”

>>43028650
Yes, lets wake up and run from the authorities.

Raban quick merge with your clone! Become one! It's the only way to save her!

>>43028608
>>43028631
>>43028650
This is beautiful
Can we dream-upgrade ourselves? Bigger lady lumps, more muscles, an extra pair of arms, a third eye, something.

>>43028650
That would be a good idea. We'll wake up to a warm reception provided by the authorities sent for the princess.

>>43028681
Can't upgrade perfection.

>>43028650
Okay but quick let's imagine Will back to his male self so we don't have to pay for a wizard.

>>43028705
You have a point
Can we give will like, a gun arm or something?

>>43028770
What and spoil the fun by ending a quest early? Let the man have some time to enjoy super comfortable dresses without people thinking he's weird.

>>43028770
Oooh, good point! We could even try to upgrade him, and try to make all this up to him by imagining him with a one foot schlong.
Which ends up being imagined a bit too literally. Poor Will.

>>43028770
Don't we have to make sure he has girl-sex at least once before we switch him back?

If we have the dream-mage in our party, we could always use another dream to fix him later.

>>43028982
It wouldn't end the quest, Will getting his body back is like a sidequest thing.

>>43028675
Yes. Nothing can possibly go wrong with this. Most certainly we won't end up with a split personality that cock blocks us at every turn as it falls in love with the dream mage who made it possible for it to exist.

I support this suggestion.

Is it lesbian or masturbation when we make out with Dream Raban?

>>43030007
It's awesome, obviously.

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I briefly consider taking the opportunity to turn Will back to normal, but… nah. I can always do it later.

“Is there any way I could merge with my dream-clone, or something like that?”

“Uh… I guess? Maybe? If you really want to bring her along that much, she might be able to piggyback on your astral form. Try holding hands while I disperse the dream.”

I grab Dream-Raban’s hand and give it a kiss. She blushes. I turn back to Zix, grinning. “Alright, Zix, hit the alarm and wake us all up.”

“Okay.” Zix nods. “It’ll be just a second.”

“Right.” I nod.

“I need to do some mystic chanting and stuff. Don’t interrupt, or we could all be cut off from our physical bodies and spend the rest of eternal half-lives as astral projections doomed to throatlessly howl without end in the psychedelic mental hellscape of our own dying nightmares. So, yeah. Give me a little space.” Zix waves everyone away, then starts mystically chanting and stuff.

“Hey.” Will taps me on the shoulder. “Raban.”

“What?”

“Just wanted to remind you.”

“Huh? About what?”

“The Princess. She's still recovering from that vampire attack, so she probably won’t wake up for a few days. If you want to talk to her or enjoy any last-minute dream romance, you’d better do it now.”

“Okay, everybody, here goes!” Zix calls out.

“Oh. OH! Wait, wait! ZIX, W-“

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“-AIT!” I open my eyes, blinking. “No! Damn it!”

“Ugh…” Will sits up, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry, Raban, too slow. Looks like you can’t even dream about fucking the princess, huh?”

“Don’t rub it in. Unless you’re actually offering to rub something, in which case I’m all for it.”

“No thanks.” Will shakes Yew awake. “You okay, Yew?”

“Guh?” Yew yawns. “I was having the strangest dream… YOU were there, and YOU were there…”

“It wasn’t a dream, Yew. Well, it was, but it was also this crazy sort of dreamworld thingy.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Fuck, what time is it?” Will groans. “I guess we’ve got to get ready to run, huh? We don’t want to be around when-“

Will is interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

>>43030537
Ask who's there. If it's Zix then we let them in and pack to leave.

>>43030727
Yeah. This.

>>43030537
Take the opportunity to turn this strangers knock into an surprise knock knock joke. That should make Will groan since she's being stubborn about doing that in the fun way.

>>43030537
Have Will and Yew grab de pricess and star climbing out the fire-escape while we check the door for Zix

>>43030485
>“Is there any way I could merge with my dream-clone, or something like that?”
>“Uh… I guess? Maybe? If you really want to bring her along that much, she might be able to piggyback on your astral form. Try holding hands while I disperse the dream.
I really hope this leads to some split personality shenanigans with our naive and innocent alter ego.

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“Zix? Is that you?”

“Yeah!”

“Come on in!”

She throws the door open. “Guys! It worked!” Zix laughs. She wobbles into the room, stumbling a bit in her oversized nightgown. “It totally worked! Dream magic is still totally unpredictable and sketchy as fuck, but this time it worked perfectly! I’m a girl!”

“Good for you, I guess.” Will shrugs. “Come help us pack our stuff. We need to get out of here before the authorities show up. To be specific, I'm talking about the authorities that YOU called to come capture us.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry about that whole deal.” She flops down on the edge of my bed, resting her new legs. “Anyway! What’s on the agenda for today, gang?”

“Steal a wagon, hook our horses up to it, stop by the general store and pick up our supplies, then just ride right out of town before anyone realizes what we’ve done." I stretch my arms, still waking up. "That’s the plan, anyway.”

“Yeah, sure, that's the plan.” Will chuckles. “As if anything ever goes according to plan.”

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Everything goes according to plan.

Zix a cute!

>>43031218
Thanks for running OP

>>43031218
Thanks OP. This is the best ongoing quest.

>>43031229
You're welcome!

>>43031232
Oh, wow, thank you! I try to do my best.

>>43031225
I'm glad you like her! Truth be told, both Zix and this thread went in wildly different directions then I expected them to go.

It's so awesome when that happens.

>>43031274
A bit late to the party, but thanks for running

>>43031274
Good to see everything ended well while I slept! Looking forward to next time!

>>43031218
Wow, we even got out of town before all the vampire blood we'd left strewn on the streets could explode in the sunlight.