>>42783141

"He's right, you know," says Coal. "The media will want to talk to you very soon. You'd best get what rest you can now."

You make sure everyone is gathered together, and return to the amusement park you call home. Despite the late hour, you're unable to rest.

You try to work out what you know with the rest of the crew.

"It was Wesker who told Nocturna about the meeting using her pheremone thing- not Ivy like we thought. It stands to reason that she was the one tipping of Black Mask. And she was the one controlling all the monsters."

"And someone hired both her and Spellcraft - presumably the same person who gassed the city and broke Arkham open," agrees Nightjar.

"And the real kicker," you say, "is that somebody set all this up BEFORE the first meeting ever happened. Someone has been trying to keep the gang wars going, and now they're attacking the people."

"Black Mask," says Dottie. "Has to be. He was tryin' to get us all at each other's throats."

You shake your head. "Think back to that night, Dot. Black Mask didn't seem to know about Nocturna. It was an anonymous tip; she wasn't his spy. He was just another of her pawns."

"Alright, then who?" she asks.

"You're all just ignoring the obvious, so I'll be the one to say it," says Coal. "The Joker. The REAL Joker. It has to be."


The room goes as quiet as a grave.


"...No," says Dottie. "Ain't his style."

"Spreading Chaos? Sticking someone with his job, then forcing them through a gauntlet of every single thing that can go wrong? That certainly SOUNDS like the Joker's 'style,' Dorothy!" shouts Coal.

Dottie stands angrily. "An' I think I know a little more about the Boss than you do, old lady! An' I'm tellin' you, it AIN'T HIM."

"...And if it is?" you ask.

"Remember our talk?" she says quietly.

(Cont)

>>42783543
>it AIN'T HIM.
i agree with dottie, this doesn't feel like the joker, if anything it sounds like whoever is in charge tried to get the joker on their side and joker didnt want to play along. then they tried to kill him and he faked his death and set me up as a distraction while he acts freely

>>42783543
Doesn't matter who it is or isn't right now.
We have a link in the form of Nocturna.
And we can track back to whoever booked Spellman through Holly.
Whoever it is, we'll get this figured out.
If it isn't him we can solve this the old fashioned way or get Coal a new lab rat.
If it is him..well, worse things have happened. I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
>Laugh about it a bit.
When that happens, well, good luck guys.

>>42783543
>Cue snickering
I didn't get drug into this expecting to leave alive Dot.
But it's not all bad, we figured out my casket size ahead of time.

Nightjar stands, looking uncomfortable. The shirt collar tucked around her neck makes her look like some king of strange warbling bird. "You know... Up until now, you've been a close ally of Mister Cobblepot... He's made a great deal of money from your partnership. I... Might be able to negotiate some kind of agreement. Perhaps he can find some way to smuggle you out of town...? Of course... I can make no promises."

You look up at her. "...Thanks, Nightjar."

She turns away, trying to look as stoic as she can. "...Sabrina."

You say your goodbyes, and head to bed. As you enter your bedroom, you are sure to turn on all the lights and check the room as soon as you enter- too many times has Holly surprised you.

Satisfied, you undress and prepare for the next day.

The next morning, the moment you awake you are thrust into action. Your entire crew is fronting telephone calls begging for interviews and statements. For once, the Joker is the victim- no one wants to miss out on THAT scoop.

And all morning, the footage of last night's conflict with Batman plays over and over, interspersed with footage of you ordering your people to get the Gotham public to safety and putting out fires- and noting how long it took any public officials to arrive.

Instead, most rescue and police vehicles were sent to Arkham while Crime Alley was left to burn. Mister Freeze, Roxy Rocket, King Tut, Farmer Brown, Black Widow, Baby-Doll... every criminal in Arkham, big and small, now roams the streets of Gotham.

And the Joker had nothing to do with it.

An exasperated Dottie holds a phone up to your face.

"Mister Joker, I'm with the Gotham news- can I get a statement regarding last night's attacks on your publicity event?"

>wat say

>>42783877
"I don't know what to say really, I mean my little shindig was supposed to be a night of celebration for Gotham. Then it was just all left to burn so the police could say they caught Calendar Man again. And he'll be back in Arkham where they'll just exacerbate his condition, like they do with most of their patients. People's homes burned, not the important ones of course. The important ones don't stay in the city with us. And they'll just- they all keep on, like this is all fine and good. It'd almost be funny, but you can only repeat the same joke so many times before everyone is sick of it.

"Given what I know and what I've seen in this city, I'm not really surprised, just profoundly disappointed."

>>42784064
This butime with the added "and nobody even threw a pie"

>>42784089
God I hate typing on the phone

"But with"

>>42784109
You ain't the only one having to go through that pain Anonbro
>>42784064
You forgetting something again OP?

>>42784064
Seconding

>>42783877
>>42784064
Beyond that, where were the firemen anyway? The police I can understand, but..well, do you know? It took them, what? Two hours to get there? Where were they?"

Note: The Joker (probably the real one) picked us for a reason.
so maybe the real Mr J found out about this plan before it happened, slipped us the note giving us everything to keep the whole show rolling while he dealt with what ever and buggered off the grid.
So if this theory holds up, is it infact that the joker is being contained/has been kidnapped someplace? And if he has, do we bust him out? (I would actually go with yes, provided we can get out of doing so alive)

>>42784223
I'm not OP bro.

>>42784064
Thirded, fourthed, whatever-ed.

>>42783877

"I don't know what you all want me to say. My little shindig was supposed to be a night of celebration for Gotham. And it was just all left to burn, just so the police could go and say they caught The Calendar Man again. They'll take him right back to Arkham, and they'll just exacerbate his condition like they always do.

And just how long did it take the firemen to get there? Two hours? People's homes burned, but not the important ones. The important ones don't even bother to stay in the city with us. And they'll just- they'll all just keep on, like this is all fine and good.

It'd almost be funny, but you can only repeat the same joke so many times before everyone is sick of it. Given what I know and what I've seen in this city, I'm not really surprised, just profoundly disappointed.

And do you want to know the WORST part? Nobody even threw a single pie!"

The others in the room have all looked away from their work and are staring at you. Maybe you got a little carried away... But you meant every word.

"Thank you," you tell the man, "I have a lot of work to do now."

All through the morning, you answer phones and make statement, setting up interviews, and receiving invitations to attend events. The sheer novelty of having you attend any event is enough to make Gotham's wealthiest compete for your presence.

Finally, there is a lull in activity. Everyone sits around, exhausted.

"So, Boss...," asks Dwayne. "Now what? Used to be we could just schedule a heist or somethin' to stir up a little fear. Now, we've got plenty of money, but everyone's already more afraid of everything else than they are of us, an' we gotta be on our best behavior because of this whole... Mayor thing you're doin'. How long till we blow the lid off this, Boss?"

(cont)

>>42784467
Might be fun, or we could just usurp his identity and let the mass murder rot.

>>42784511

"For the time being, Dwayne, let's stick with it. It's the safest angle right now. But you're right, we need a new plan now. We can't just sit around."

"There's always your campaign to think about," says Nightjar. "Political Campaigns and heists are the same things, really- just has a much bigger payoff."

"It's Saturday," says Dottie. "Seven more days 'till Halloween. You could always set up somethin' for then. 'Cept... How about we don't try another carnival thing, eh Boss?"


Your people are antsy. They aren't used to being so... Restrained.


>wat do want to try to do?
>what do you want to achieve with it?
>whose skills will be required?
>what equipment will you need?

>>42784515
Thing is with that though, the real Mr J would eventually show up again anyway. Man is a maverick for escapes. So if we have the option to save his ass, it might play in our favour and let us get demoted to protegee. Either way, its worth considering. But hell knows what really happened.

>>42784543
I'm not sure really, the point of the campaign was to get eyes on Harvey and simultaneously drag whoever was screwing with us out in the light. Now that we've got Nocturna out of the shadows, and Harvey's not after my head anymore I'm not really sure where to go with this.
Or if I should just trash the whole thing. Still, it'd be hilarious to win, so until I figure out an angle it might be best to make nice for now."
"Who's inviting us where?"

>>42784649
Hmm, maybe a tour of the invites we have received? Good way to keep a moving, public target.

Meanwhile the gang can prep to deal with any interruptions.

Kind of expecting this to blow up eventually so maybe if folks are feeling angsty we can just plan a few normal heists, or prep everyone for some downtime when this current session of problems is done with.

>>42784543
>We rob a bank, take money, and then hand it out to the poor. Multiple heists within the same hour, cause chaos.
Might sound weird, but it'll make the eyes and ears on the street go a bit blind and deaf to us. Maybe. We need to expand somehow.
Alternatively, we find some guys that haven't paid the protection fee on Halloween, knock on their door, and broadcast some spooky shit involving them on TV.
>Whose skills will be required?
Fuck, I dunno. Whoever volunteers, I guess.
>What equipment will you need?
Cars. Guns. Face paint. Propane, gas masks, and smoke-making shit.THE THERMAL DRILL
Thermite.

>>42784715
I feel like we need a day off. No makeup. Wander the city, have some lunch, see a movie. Get a real ant's eye view of things.
I mean, do we even get in and out of character anymore? Is this just all Joker 100%, or are we just Brock in some facepaint messing around with Mr. J's toys?

>>42784801
Eh, i feel after thread 5 people dropped the ball somewhat with acting like the joker so i can't really comment.

The joker is a thinker, he is always thinking about whats next. Brock seems to just wing it most the time.

>>42784543
>wat do want to try to do?
two things, first is i'd like to see if we could pick up any of the more useful people from the Arkham breakout. might be some good talent there and if we could get one of the saner people or at least ones that have gotten on well enough with ourselves, penguin and twoface.

after that it would be good to set a trap for the people who have been messing with us. maybe some sort of decoy press conference or debate outdoors where all off the audience are members of the gang ready in case they try something.

>what do you want to achieve with it?
get coal to make some knockout gas, and holly to hype it up, with the others laying low

>whose skills will be required?
something to make enough gossip in the criminal world that would be sure to draw attention to it

>>42784543
Accept some invites, accept campaign donations and donations for the displaced folks of crime alley, by force if necessary

>>42784543
Ya, know with all these high class functions, I've been invited to, it strikes me that we could rob them and they might think it's funny. I make a speech, ask for campaign contributions. Ya'll bust in with bags for money and jewels, whatever. A few of you have gins but most of ya'll just have the bags, be polite but firm that Joker is "asking" for donations. We have our accountant print up receipts, so they can write off their loses. Easy!

>>42785018
>>42784543
Whether or not it gets there is another kettle of fish which we'll have Penguin launder.

>>42785031
I love you anon. Get out of my head.

>>42784543
You think for a bit.

"I'm... not sure really. The point of the campaign was to get eyes on Harvey and drag whoever was screwing with us out in the light. Now that we've got Nocturna out of the shadows and Harvey's not after my head anymore, I'm not really sure where to go with this.

To be conpletely honest, I've kind of been expecting this to blow up any time now. Still, wouldn't it be hilarious if we won? And-"

You think back to Crime Alley.

"...Let's all just play nice for now, just be safe.

If we want to tie everything back to the campaign, I say we attend one of those little parties we were invited to. We go in, and take " donations." Make sure to be polite about it, though. We want them to think it's funny- they can say they were robbed by the Joker, but they won't feel threatened. Then we take the loot, flip it, and hand a bunch of it back to the poor. The way I figure it, it certainly can't hurt our chances. Let's be honest; we aren't running a legitimate campaign here. Might as well use our assets to our advantage. We'll handle that tomorrow.

And on Monday? We set a little trap- a press conference We'll have Holly set it up. And once Nocturna or whoever is helping her tries to make a move, we spring it. Some kind of knockout gas or something. We can't count on Batman for help.

I'd like to start trying to plan ahead. So far, I've just been winging it- trying to play off what people throw at me.

But right now? Today?"

You wipe the makeup from your face.

"...I think we need a break. All of us. Out there on the streets."

"What... You mean, like, without the uniforms?" They look at you, dumbfounded. "Well... Yeah? I mean, I can't really go out like that now, and it'll look like you all kidnapped me if you go."

They look at each other uneasily.

"Old Boss didn't never make us go on no field trips..." grumbles Knock.

>>42785209
Knock, it's not mandatory man, it's just R&R. You do whatever you want to do

>>42785266
Pretty much. Ha.

>>42785209
You know, I'd be a right laugh if we started rounding up the escapees from Arkham and started to string them up by their feet with no pants from lightposts all around Gotham.

>>42785404
Sounds like a pain in the arse to do and rather pointless.

>>42785404
Shhh...we don't need Zoro any more mad at us than he already is.
We should get him a copy of it for Christmas. Seems up his alley.

>>42785209

The group dresses themselves as normally as they can, and leave in two cars- Nightjar simply refuses to allow Lefty and Righty in her car.

On the way, you pick up Spike. Priscilla and Coal meet you there.

A weedy young man, a fat kid, three giants, an angry looking man, a woman covered in scars, a celebrity, a scientist, and a woman in a suit all stand in downtown Gotham city, as they prepare for their most elaborate crime yet: trying to have a pleasant day.

>what do you do?
>with who?

>>42785209
>It'll look like you all kidnapped me.
You know, again. Haha.
Anyway you guys do what you want, chill out, keep an eye on things,have a party. Whatever, just don't murder anybody unless it's self defense.

>>42785582
Dive bar and a movie, like a shifty date

>>42785582
Ask the group what they're up for. Personally I could go for a movie or just chilling out in the park reading but since they all came it seems like asking them is the way to go.

>>42785604
>>42785631
Dinner and a Movie, maybe a round of lazer tag?

>>42785582

I want to go to the park with _____Nightjar______

guys this is primo waifu dating time

we can't waste this chance

>>42785663
That sounds alright mostly I guess. Still oughta see what they're up for.

>>42785582
>what do you do?
Lunch, theme park visit, library visit, see a movie.

Can we not? Just have a day to unwind, be ourselves and whatever happens happens.

>>42786097
>>42785708
Forgot to link.

>>42785582

The group stands around awkwardly. Most of them rarely do much that isn't the result of, or in pursuit of, violence.

"Alright, so... Everybody, go do what you want," you tell them. Just... Relax," you try to tell them.

A few of them shuffle off to the park, and some wander off uptown. Holly seems torn; she knows you're the Joker, but she also doesn't want Priscilla Cris to be caught oggling some college kid.

Coal, however, sticks close. "I'm a professor, after all," she insists. "No one will give us a second thought."

Her ties to Coal give Cris the excuse she needs to stay nearby- she stays just far enough away to not look suspicious, but you can feel her eyes boring into the back of your skull as she watches you.

Around you, you can see the remnants of yesterday night's chaos- buildings are damaged, and people are keeping their heads down. Everyone is on the lookout for some sign of the villains from last night's Arkham breakout.

Police are on every corner. You see a child pick up a rock, throw it at one of the men, and run off. Though the other people don't join in, you can see that they share the same sentiment. "They're angry, you know," says Holly. "After everything you said, I think they're starting to take a second look around them."

You start to ask her, "...So, are the police stationed to protect them from the Arkham inmates, or-"

"-or are they trying to keep the people in check?" she finishes. "I suppose it looks like a little of both, doesn't it?"

You walk with the two women away from the uncomfortable sights of the streets through the park. There, sitting on a bench, is Nightjar, trying her best to toss bits of popcorn to a swarm of angry ducks- which keep getting angrier due to the two large men stomping about amongst them. Lefty and Righty don't seem to understand the situation; every time she throws a bit of the popcorn, they carefully pick it back up, and bring it back.

(Cont)

>>42786359
Lefty and Righty are being adorable, which is wierd cause they are huge.

>>42786359
>YFW Coal recognizes us from one of her classes out of the make-up.

>>42786359

"...Look at them, Jok... er, hmm." She stops herself before she outs you. "You need to do something about those two. They aren't... Right." Lefty (or Righty? You can't tell since their arm healed up) brings a handful of the popcorn back to Nightjar, a particularly upset bird snapping at his heels. "No, no. Put it BACK," she tells him.

She takes out another handful of the popcorn and tosses it as hard as she can in the other direction, and the hulking man lumbers off to fetch it. "Were they... Dropped or something?"

You tell her where you're going, and leave her to her ducks.

Soon after, you and the two women arrive at a small bar. Dwayne, Dottie, and a man you don't recognize are sharing a drink. He waves the three of you over.

"Boss, this is Matches. He's one of Two-Face's boys. We grab a drink every once in a while."

You look at the square-jawed man, then lean over to Dwayne. "Even back when we weren't on such good terms with Harvey?" you ask.

Dwayne looks cheerful. "Hey, work's work, but once we clock out, no reason to go clockin' each other too." He and Matches raise their glasses to one another.

"So, Big D tells me you're one of Joker's boys. Says you're pretty green, but you've been turnin' stuff around. Real impressive stuff. How're you feelin' about the whole "mayor" thing between our bosses, kid?"

You feel Coal"s hand grab your leg beneath the table- unlike Holly, who had been doing the same since you sat down, Coal is trying to tell you something- "Watch what you say."

>wat do

>>42786934
"Kind of weird going legit. Still if i get paid regular and works gets less risky, its all good."

>>42786934
>you feel Coal's hand grab your leg beneath the table- unlike Holly, who had been doing the same since you sat down, Coal is trying to tell you something

First of all, ha.

> Matches
Ask for a last name

>>42786934
"Crazy shit, right? Ah, but coming from one of Joker's boys that probably doesn't mean much. I didn't think it would even make it off the ground when I heard about it. Also, no offense, but I was pretty sure your boss was gonna shoot mine every time I saw them together."

>>42786934
"Neither of our bosses are known to be consistent, I'm just hoping to enjoy the quiet tim, while it lasts.

>>42786934
"Might be good for a laugh. Who knows?"
>shrug it off
"Most of the time it feels like I'm flying blind."
>laugh a bit
"Curse of being the new guy right?"

>>42787206
>Get a drink, maybe a mojito or a regular beer.
>>42786934

>>42787248
>>42786934
On a second thought their mojitos probably suck just get a beer

>>42787394
>>42787248
>>42786934
Please tell me we're playing this off as a joke

>>42786934
"Crazy shit, right?" you say. "Ah, but coming from one of Joker's boys, that probably doesn't mean much, right?" Dottie and the men laugh.

"I didn't think it would even make it off the ground when I heard about it. Also, no offense, but I was pretty sure your boss was gonna shoot mine every time I saw them together."

"Ehh, he's like that with everybody," says Matches. "Don't let 'im spook ya. An' if you get 'im mad, just pray you're lucky."

"But hey, the way I figure it," you say with a shrug, "neither of our bosses are known for their consistency. I'm just enjoying the down time. Most of the time, I just feel like I'm flying blind. Curse of being the new guy, right?"

"Curse of bein' the new guy, alright. You want my advice, kid? You ain't gonna stay the new guy for long. Best get out before ya end up like me an' D here." He gives the big man a playful jab in the shoulder, and the two laugh.

"I gotta get goin', D," he says. "Boss's got us movin' inventory tonight." He stands and pulls on a jacket, then points to you. "You just remember what ol' Matches Malone told ya, yeah? I been in this business long enough ta know."

Matches leaves, and Coal's hand relaxes. (Holly's, however, does not.)

"How well do you know that man?" Coal asks Dwayne. He takes a draw from his beer. "Matches? Known him since I joined up. He's been in for ages. Jumps around between the other gangs, but never us. Says the grease paint makes him break out."

"And you told him about... HIM?" she asks.

"Ya were comin' over here anyway. What was I supposed to say? Here's my wife an' kid an' the lady on T.V.? An' all he thinks is that the kid here is some fresh-meat intern. He's one of us, Coal. Don't worry about it for God's sake."

She eases up a bit.

>>42787778
An inch higher and she'd have been grabbing our junk, I swear.

Luckily, Holly got the wrong side.

>>42787778


Soon after, Nightjar arrives to join you, Lefty and Righty following step-in-step behind her like ducklings.

"Make. Them. Stop," she insists.

Your small group orders a few drinks, and makes idle small talk as you finish them. On the way back, you make sure everyone else gets back together, and return to your vehicles. Holly seems loath to leave you behind as she returns home, but Coal remains by your side- primarily because she's had far too much to drink.

The others are able to get a ride with Knock, but you are left with Nightjar and the professor... And the twins. The two massive men load into the back seat as best they can as the drunken professor crawls in over top of them. Nightjar tries to drive as carefully as possible to prevent the car from bottoming out; by the time you arrive, you find that the others have long since arrived.

The professor staggers down the stairs and drops face-down onto the filthy couch. You go to bed yourself.

At least for one day, everybody got some down time.


The next day, everyone is happy to get back in uniform- yourself included.

"Alright, everyone. This evening, we've got an invitation to a nice party- a Mr. and Mrs. Tony Winston. You all know the plan- we take what we can, POLITELY, fence it, and make a show of the whole thing. Of course, I'll be going in through the front door, but I'd like the rest of you to go in with style. Here's how I want you to go in:

>how should your

>>42788133

Fuck.

>how should your crew pull off the holdup?

>>42788133
I'm thinking we use the methane Gass again. Breach and clear method with a mix of methane and confetti flash grenades.

>>42788363
>methane =/= helium

>>42788133
Make sure your accountant records everything stolen and sold this way to write them a receipt so they can take it off their taxes.

>>42788363
Same anon
Maybe have them all line up , have one of our clowns dressed us up as a resisting party guest. Could paintball / shoot them as part of the act. Take all there cash, and bow
>>42788425
.... I meant helium

>>42788353
>how should your crew pull off the holdup?
Why, we obviously make such a show of it they want to give us all their valuables. We go in as classic Joker, all smiles and insanity and not so sublte threats of violence and take just about everything from them. And them we, and the rest of the crew burst out laughing and play it off as a fantastic joke. Something like, "HA! You should have seen the looks on your faces, you thought I had returned to my old ways!"

if they try to ask for their things back, brush it off and say you'll return it later and distract them from it. But have it taken out during the party while we show them how we are a fantastic party guest.

>>42788133
Obviously we go in, talk a bit, mention campaign donations and as soon as we hook some folks we give the signal and the guys, posing as staff whip out the guns and bags.
We hold their stuff ransom until they either contribute or we fence the stuff without sentimental value.
No need to go overly complex, we were invited after all.
Maybe put on a bit of a magic show with it, get folks to laugh it off. Make them have fun with it.

>>42788133
>>42788353
Remember the tactical clowning idea?
Pie to the face. And just plain custard pie. Maybe a bit of blueberry and strawberry, but that's it.

>>42788843
This we must use the clown ninja pie squad!

>>42788133

You all get dressed in your most impressive Joker outfits, and head uptown to the home of Tony Winston.


There is a knock on the door. Tony Winston goes to answer it and greet whatever straggling guest has yet to arrive. He secretly finds this whole charade extremely boring, but his wife likes a chance to entertain now and then, and part of his job requires making nice with other rich families.

As he opens the door, a tall, thin man forces it open, grinning wildly- and pointing a gun directly in his face. Tony recognizes him as the Joker.

"Evening, Tony!" he says, pushing his way into the house and removing his hat and jacket, never taking his gun off Tony. He piles the garments into Tony's arms. "Hell of a place you've got here, man. Looks expensive. Me? I prefer a somewhere smaller and cozier. Just give me a little room of my own- maybe something nice and padded. HA HA HA HA!"

Tony Winston quakes in fear as the Joker enters the living room. The people inside cower. One of the women screams.

"Well," says the Joker, "I suppose I'm not interrupting anything. Dead crowd in here tonight, Tony. I can see why you invited me.

First off, how about some entertainment?"

The Joker gives a signal, and a number of men and women in clown makeup enter the room, each carrying a gun and a bag.

"...And let's do something about this atmosphere..."

The Joker drops a pair of gas grenades in the center of the room, and an orange gas pours out of them. A couple of the terrified people reach for small inhalers from their pockets and quickly use them.

"...And of course, the party favors..."

One of the clowns hands the Joker a bag. He grins at Tony, and reaches inside.

"I'm sorry to do this, old man. I really am. But hey..."

The Joker presses a cream pie into the face of Tony Winston. For a second he thinks he is dead.

"That's showbiz! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

(cont)

>>42788133
Man, sometimes I feel like it'd be better to just mug a ton of folks, knock over some places and blow up a building. But we can't do that until we get- well we could.
But we can't with the police like this, and it works in our favor anyway. We'll gear up to get some stuff going in the background, but for now..well the citizens unrest works in our favor. It'd be irresponsible to not ride this wave of good will as it'll take us. If we lose, then we put the fear in 'em. If we win, they're a captive audience, and we can bend this burg over.
On the other hand I kinda want to level a city block.
But I can do that as Mayor and people will get a lot less mad, while paying me to.
Decisions. Decisions.
So...nice for now.

>>42789127

You give Winston a hearty pat on the back, as the rest of your crew laughs. He is still too frightened to let himself react.

The other guests slowly look to one another- realizing what happened. A few of them try to speak, but their voices come out as high-pitched squeaks from the helium. They begin to laugh, mostly out of relief.

Finally, the terrified Mr. Winston joins in.

"I...I thought Priscilla was crazy when she told me to invite you," he said. "I thought I was crazy for listening."

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, old man. Of course you're crazy. HA HA HA!

Now then, ladies and gentlemen, if you don't mind, my people will be coming around to collect donations from you. Completely optional, of course.

And remember folks- Vote Mr.J, and smile all day!"

Your crew walks with an open bag to each laughing partygoer, and each of them drops in something- a ring, a wad of cash, or some other thing of of value that will likely go completely unmissed by the bloated fatcats in this room.

They make a great joke out of being "mugged" by your people, and you stay for at least an hour as they try to shake your hand and have their pictures taken with you like some sort of sideshow.

It's all positively revolting.

You keep on a smile until you're back in the van. Your people empty the bags into the floor of the van eagerly, and try to count out the spoils.

"Looks like... A couple thousand, minus the jewelry," says Knock.

"Is that it?" you say.

He shrugs. "We just asked 'em for pocket change. Some of 'em said they might cut you a check later, though."

You drum your fingers on the seat impatiently. "If I'd known this would be so much work I'd have kept robbing banks."

"What's the matter, Boss?" asks Dottie. "I thought you was tryin' to make a difference or somethin'."

"Yes, well... I'd like to 'make a difference' to our bank accounts first."

You ride back to the amusement park in disappointment.

>>42789545

"Guess we could pass this stuff around to the poor to get some good will from them."

>>42789545
"Eh, I guess it's a few more votes in the bag. We can either give it some poor folks. Or I guess I could hold onto it for a rainy day."
"But...it wouldn't do to have you guys coming out of this with nothing either. So just take whatever from the...eh, I'll get it taken care of. Need to check on our boy Orson anyway. Cash cool with everyone? Or will somebody catch hell for forgetting to get Spike's Mom a birthday present or something?"

>>42789545
>>42789598
As someone stated in the last thread fence the goods, let our accountant write up receipts so the donations are tax deductible and give the money to the poor.

>>42789757
This.

>>42789757

>>42789598 here, I'll change to this then.

>>42789545

The next day, you go down to Crime Alley and hand out as much of the cash as you can. The people seem grateful. Many of them lost everything in the fire, and seem dirty and tired- you'd be willing to bet they'd been sleeping on the streets.

You hung onto the jewels, though, adding them to the pile of jewelry you stole weeks ago. At some point, you tell yourself, you'll finally fence them.

Holly set up your press conference here; you see a number of your gang members without makeup already lingering about the area. Coal prepared you a fast-acting knockout gas to flood the crowd with at the first sign of trouble; your people are all aware that they may be knocked out. Only yourself and your closest allies are given capsules containing a nullifying agent- you can't risk any of them falling under Nocturna's influence and being able to resist your gas.

You had asked the Professor if she could provide you with some sort of cure for Nocturna's pheromones, but she simply laughed. "Whatever it is is in her skin. Unless you can peel of a piece of her and get me a sample, I can't provide some method of reliably countering her influence. And I'm sure you don't want to go on stage covered in mustard."

Still, she handed you a small vial. "Have the people near you inhale this. It should block the receptors in their nasal cavities. There will be a bit of swelling, though, so if you're planning to do any speaking, I'm afraid you'll have to do without."

"And what if she tries to take me?" you asked. "When she took Batman, you saw the way she did it, right? Just don't go...sniffing strange women. That shouldn't be too hard for you, right?"

You look out over the gathering crowd and sigh.

File: 1428627727484.jpg (6 KB, 160x204)

6 KB JPG

>>42790231
>That shouldn't be too hard for you, right?"

But every woman we have ever met thus far has been strange.

>>42790270
just because they're strange doesn't mean we have to sniff them.

>>42790322
How do you meet new people anon?

>>42790322
We've also been stuck in enclosed spaces with all but one of all the women we have ever met.

Fucking Dwayne and his fucking tiny car.

>>42790322
>Not sniffing
What sort of blasphemy is this.

>>42790270

nightjar

>>42790270
>Every woman we've met
Dating has been an overall weird experience for Brock hasn't it?
Is his habit of chasing crazy the reason he's a psychologist?

>>42790376
She was getting upset she was unable to feed ducks.

The most hellish of all waterfowl.

She's fucking nuts.

>>42790376
Still stranger than most

>>42790396
That's geese anon, ducks just have weird genitalia. Geese are evil. And crows think they're in the mob.

>>42790396

>The most hellish of all waterfowl.
>not geese

>>42790443
Ducks will fuck corpses.

Not rape things to death (actually I believe they probably do) but will fuck things that are nearly rotting.

Geese are huge assholes, but so are ducks.

>>42790443
Crows can also remember your face. It's a bad idea to piss one off.

>>42790396
I can completely agree agree. Ducks are overrated but fuck geese. Removing goose is always the correct decision. Still one-eyefu is life.

File: 1388262969951.gif (2.67 MB, 441x300)

2.67 MB GIF

>>42790270
>>42790322
>>42790332
>>42790353
>>42790357
>>42790376
>>42790383
>>42790396
>>42790406
>>42790443
>>42790447

jesus christ you guys

>>42790475
They will also teach their young of you. True facts. Piss them off enough and you get a flapping multigenerational war of revenge.
Against you.
but I've always been pretty nice to the ones in my neighborhood for no particular reason even before I knew that.

>>42790487
You're welcome.
And welcome to "Conversations with Brock and Friends" I like to imagine this is how a sizable minority of his downtime conversations with folks outside the gang go. Or something. You know, when not in the make up.

>>42790528
Corvids are amazing creatures and if you treat them nicely they become total bros.

>>42790586
Meh Ravens are still skittish as fuck around people, crows not so much

>>42790575
>Hey, man, you ever notice how crazy chicks always smell better?

>"What the fuck, man?"

>That bird chick, though. Yeesh.

>"Dude, what the fuck."

>>42790231

Behind you, you hear Dottie and Dwayne sniffing uncomfortably. The professor was right, of course; the pheromone blocker caused them to suffer from an uncomfortable swelling.

You stand under the autumn sun, and begin to address the public. As you talk, weaving stories about the deplorable treatment of the city's poor and corrupt businessmen, you watch the crowd for any strange faces. Here and there you see members of the press corps. There are more than a handful of Crime Alley's destitute, likely looking for any kind of hope to latch onto. And in the back corner...

A man fires a gun at you as you immediately hammer the trigger for the knockout gas. The bullet zings by your face as the gas pumps into the crowd. Everyone immediately begins to fall to the ground.

"Get him," you tell your crew. "Before he wakes up." Dwayne heaves the gunman over his shoulders- a man of average height in a leather vest and chaps. A cowboy hat falls from his head.

"Alright, boss. We got 'im," says Dwayne. "Now... what exactly were we plannin' on tellin' all the other people you knocked out?"

"...I hadn't thought of that."

You can already see a few of the people stirring in the crowd.

>uhhhh
>wat do

>>42790575
What do you mean, OUTSIDE? I'm sure most of this happens inside, too.

>>42790628

the funny thing about this is that I distinctly remember qm describing what a couple of the girls smell like. Holly smelled like grease paint, perfume, and sex, and dotty smells like grease paint and cigarretes.

im not sure if we sniffed coal yet, but she probably smells like gross chemicals and booze. not sure what nightjar would smell like.

>>42790668
Emergency situation. Had to get everyone down.

Shooting back could have hit one of you, and him shooting at me doesn't prevent ricochets from winging one of you guys.

Safest all around.

>>42790668
Have Dwayne and the boys cart the guy off and keep him tied up while we fake getting up if we aren't on camera and continue the speech. If we are, play it off as a harmless security measure, apologize, say it malfunctioned and move on.
Then excuse ourselves to go deal with this.

>>42790668
>"Good people of Gotham! As you can see, my new, non-lethal form of crime deterrent is quite effective! With no side-effects, and a negligible duration I have managed to capture a would be assassin and murderer! Now, with no collateral damage, and no one being harmed I have done the GCPD's job for them. I apologize for the suddenness, but I assure you, none of you were at risk, having performed extensive testing beforehand to ensure the health of this city's residents."

All I have is a bunch of bullshit, but it's worth a shot, maybe someone can make it not shit.

>>42790668
>wat do
Ladies and gentlemen i should apologize, for what i just did to all of you wasn't funny in anyway. but it was necessary in order to catch a pawn of whatever organisation it is that has been behind several attacks on the city and my own carnival. unfortunately we found the best solution to capture this individual would be knock out gas, which unlike guns wouldn't needlessly put you all in danger, and unlike fighting it out man to man with fisticuffs doesn't needlessly feed anyone's hero complex.

>>42790760
Better yet:
"Sorry, I had a bit of gas, bit nervous from a case of grazing bullets. But on the plus side, we caught ourselves a would-be assassin!"
Then skidoo.

>>42790818
The point of having a rant like that is that it lets us simultaneously call out the city, cops, and put ourselves on a pedestal.

Politics. I hate em.

File: Shame.jpg (15 KB, 400x379)

15 KB JPG

>>42790668

Instead of fleeing, you wait for everyone to awaken. The dazed and confused public seem frightened.

"I'm dreadfully sorry about that, Gotham. What I just had to do to all of you wasn't funny in any way. It was an emergency situation; I needed everyone to get down." You motion towards the man Dwayne now carries. "A gunman. Someone sent to take me out of the running, I'm sure. Perhaps even one of the same people who burned down your homes.

With no gunfire, no collateral damage, and no one being harmed I have done the GCPD's job for them. I'd like to apologize for the suddenness, but I assure you, none of you were at risk."

There is a murmur in the crowd; there is no applause, but there is no panic either. It might take a bit for them to adjust to the idea of being knocked out.

"I'd recommend you all clear out now; our friend here might not have been the only gunman. Wouldn't want to put any of you at risk." The crowd begins clearing out.

You and your crew return to the van you arrived in, Dwayne still carrying the man over his shoulder. You question the man hanging over Dwayne's arm as you walk behind him.


"What's your name, 'pardner?'" you ask the man. His cowboy outfit is hardly inconspicuous.

"Name's Shame, friend. I'd tip my hat to ya, but it looks like yer big pal here's got me hog-tied."

"And who do you work for?" you ask impatiently.

"Whoever pays me."

"...And who paid you?"

"Well now, generally, we got a strict code a' 'assassin/client' con-fi-dentiality, but considerin' the circumstances..." he pats Dwayne on the back with a free hand, "...I reckon I could make an exception. Your amigo in the black mask sent me. Reckon you done somethin' to piss him off somethin' fierce."

"Was there a woman?" you ask him. "Black hair? White skin? Dresses like Elvira?"

He scratches his head. "Now, I don't reckon I seen anybody like that, pardner. Just ol' Skull-an'-Bones."

You reach the van.

(cont)

File: hqdefault.jpg (14 KB, 480x360)

14 KB JPG

>>42790986

"Well now," says Shame, "it that was all-a your questions, I reckon I oughta be moseyin' on my way. If'n you'd kindly have this gentleman put me down..."

>wat do?

>>42791003
Have Dottie or maybe the Twins kill him. Fuck this guy

>>42791003
Let him go, but strip him down to his skivvies. "Next time, Shame I'll not be so nice. You should probably find a healthier line of bussiness."

>>42791003
"And if I do, you just come back to take another shot at me. Right? So. I'll let you make your case as to why I should. Or at the very least shouldn't turn you over to the sheriff given my mayoral bid."
"And Shame? Whatever you're about to say to me had better make me smile."

>>42791003
>wat do?
we could just dump him off on the police if he doesnt know anything more

>>42791003
we should question him some more, why did the black mask put a hit out on us, Why didn't he pick an overly complicated assassination plan, Is this cowboy getup for real, did he get paid up front or when the job was done, why didnt he have a fallback plan and so on an so forth.
Then
>>42791039

>>42791003
Don't hurt him.

But we drop his ass off for GCPD to pick up.

Let's play this as straight as possible. Legit.

>>42791067
Maybe we were supposed to believe Black Mask did this. This seems pretty sloppy by his standards, though. Hell, it's sloppy by the standards of ANY of the people who've wanted us dead so far.

>>42791003
Play it straight. Send him to the GCPD, but not after asking questions.

>>42791003
Strip him to nothing but his cowboy hat and boots and send him on his way with a reminder to avoid clowns from now on if he wants to keep his intestines from lining the halls of our afterparty.
But you know, no hard feelings.
On the other hand
>ask him how much Black Mask paid.
If we can, offer him double to flush the big BM for us.

>>42791003

"And if I do, you just come back to take another shot at me, right? So, I'll give you a chance to make your case as to why I shouldn't let my girl here 'ride roughshod over ya, Tex'. Or at the very least shouldn't turn you over to the sheriff.

First off, I want to know why Black Mask had a hit put out on me," you tell him, as you close the door of the van behind you all.

"Same reason he puts out hits on anyone. He just plain don't like ya. But mostly, he seems to reckon you been tryin' to get all a' Gotham's gangs in your hand. An' he seems to want that gig himself."

"Black Mask, huh? This all seems pretty sloppy. Just about everybody else in this city tries to do things with some kind of style."

Shame looks offended. "Well we can't all be laser beams an' death traps, can we? Some a' us gotta work for a livin'. Now me? I'm a gunman. I shoot people, I get paid. No fuss. I guess I just didn't reckon' on you gassin' the whole damn crowd."

"And did he pay you up-front, or was he waiting until afterwards?"

"Cash-on-delivery, compadre," he says with a sneer. "An' I ain't seein' a dime of it now."

"And why didn't you have a fallback plan?"

You hand the man the hat he dropped earlier. The man brushes it off, and puts it on his head. "I ain't never needed one before," he says.

"How much did he pay you, Shame?"

"He OFFERED me Ten-Thousand. He didn't pay me nothin'. An' he won't be either, now that you done gone an' messed it all up."

"And what if I offered you double that to kill Black Mask?"

"...Then I reckon I'd be willin' to consider it."

"Well I'd reckon' you'd better consider it, because otherwise, we'll be leaving you outside GCPD in nothing but your hat and boots; then you'd get a chance to live up to your name."

He looks to your gang members, then back to you.

"Don't look like I got much of a choice, now does it?"


You stop and let the man out of the van. He tips his hat to you, and is on his way.

>>42791367

Back at the park, you sit and talk with the gang. "You sure that was smart, Boss?" asks Dottie. "Cowboy Curtis could just come right back and try to kill you again."

"No loyalty," says Dwayne. "Ain't likely. Boss gave him a chance to make double what he would've otherwise."

"Yeah, but there ain't no way he's takin' out Mask," she says.

"Then there's no way I'm paying him," you tell her.

She seems to be satisfied, and lets it go.


You head back to bed, troubled. After all this, everyone's still leading you around by the nose. And thanks to your up-and-coming political career, the fatcats of Gotham are treating you like a petting zoo attraction. And now they're sending assassins after you!

Control. That's what you need. Somehow, you need to get back control. Shame was right; right now, you have influence in all three of the major gangs. And the town is full of lunatics since the Asylum doors were blown open...

There has to be something you can do.

...Tomorrow. Right now, all you can think about is how much you need to sleep.
It is the stroke of Midnight. October 26th. Outside of Gotham, deep in Slaughter Swamp, an unmarked barrel of chemicals pours into the muck.

The murky water stirs, and bubbles.

A strange sound is on the wind. It can barely be made out...

>....on......dy....a......ay

The swamp churns even more.

>....Gr......orn.......day

The slow bubbling of the bog grows into a boil


>So.....Grun.....Born.....onday....

From the roiling swamp, a filthy, pale white erupts, reaching for the sky. A huge figure claws its way onto the banks of the swamp, and begins following a chemical trail- directly back towards Gotham.

>Solomon Grundy, Born on a Monday

>>42791549
Quick, someone give him pants, too!

brb

>>42791549
Aw fuck, not the guy who can fucking punch superman and is unkillable

>>42791620
But is also incredibly stupid and easy to manipulate, all we'd have to do is make him angry and point him in a direction. "Grundy that man says he thinks your dumb and that you smell funny" then pull out the popcorn and watch him go to work. As long as we stay ob his good side we're golden.

>>42791620
We can kill it. Theoretically.
Sufficient brute force or a chemical sample for Coal to analyze and figure out how to neutralize ought to do the trick. Which means picking up after him if he's injured.
Or hitting him with a train, or some agent orange deforestation dealy depending on how much of him is zombie and how much of him is swamp flora/goo.
Plus as I recall, Ivy's none too fond of the guy. So we might have back-up maybe.
Presumably if her and Harley are in town they've seen our tv spots and know shit's weirder than usual under the big top.

>>42791549
>be finally done with the sheer faggotry that is most of the usual gang shit
>lolgrundy outta nowhere
well son of a bitch.

>>42791549

The next morning, you awake to find everyone crowded around the television.

Dottie waves you over. "Hey Boss, you gotta check this out- looks like one of the Arkham boys went nuts on the edge of town last night- whoever it was was throwin' cars around like they was made of cardboard."

"You know who it is?" you ask. She shakes her head. "Coulda been Karlo I guess. Any of the big guys, really. Probably takin' out some aggression after gettin' out of Arkham."

"Anything we should be worried about?" you ask.

"Nah, shouldn't be," says Dwayne. "Gonna be real fun to watch though."

"Then I guess we should get down to business then."

You sit at the table, and the others gather around you.


"We're finally in a stable place, guys. We have the gangs under control, and the police off our backs. We have money. We have almost free-reign of the city.

And let me tell you guys: it makes me sick. Do you know what don't have? We don't have respect. They used to be afraid of us, guys. Now we're a sideshow. We can finally do ANYTHING we damn well want, and we're stuck letting old ladies take pictures with us. This whole... mayor thing. It's a good idea; I can feel it.

But it's about time we stopped REacting, and just started ACTING. There's nothing funny about being the punchline of my own joke, damn it.

I've been trying to ask myself- what would the Old Joker do? Would he just kill everybody and throw in the towel? Maybe, I guess. But after pulling one over on Bats, turning around and proving him right just makes ME look like a fool. But at the same time, he wouldn't stick it out like this either, would he?

It's too much of a long con, and it's too likely to blow up on us. We need to make sure that we're getting some kind of immediate benefit from all this. Harvey likes to play fair. We don't. So, let me ask you all something: how can we stack the deck and make sure we win this game?"

>we have to come up with some kind of scheme
>wat do

>>42791824
i guess nows your chance to steer the boat
>>42791984
not sure what you were expecting in a quest about being a gang leader though

>>42791984
Frame up the competition?
Also come up with some kind of contingency plan for Black Mask, something to put some fear in the False Facers and- hm. There's an idea.
Let's get Spike and Penguin. We're going to glut a leading opponent on most of the false facer's filthy lucre and leave an anonymous tip with the GCPD.
Or just Freeze their accounts and tip off Harv for a two pronged approach.
While our tech and money guys (maybe also Orson?) work on that, we'll work on tracking down Elvira.
Nobody ruins our show and gets away with it.

>>42792062
>>42791984
Or you know, this but have our ninja mimes covertly aid putting a real dent in Black Mask's operation. Get Red or Coal to provide tech support and allow for Holly to steer our delightful peers attention away from this.
Red obviously cannot be allowed to work directly with Two-Face's men, poor sensitive soul that he is.

So.... Has no one caught on that we met Batman the other day in the park with Nightjar? Matches Malone is the alias Bats used in the animated series whenever he did some undercover work. Good on you QM.

As for getting out of this con, what about doing something that even Old Joker couldn't do? Being a hero. I mean, Halloween in general is coming up, and all of Arkham just got thrown back onto the streets.

We saved Crime Alley, and the fat cats of the city. How about the city as a whole? What if we can drum up some city-wide threat (via proxies and stuff) and save the day before Bats can show up and do his vigilante thing?

Even better, we finally pawn off all the jewelry, make sure everyone in the crew is well-situated in terms of getting paid, us included, and go out with a bang. Save the city and make it appear the whole gang (including Joker) died saving the citizens of Gotham. Only we fake our death and use this as our way to escape, and give everyone in the crew their one shot of having a normal life somewhere else in the world.

>>42792110
>>42791984
But no reason Coal can't mix up some two for one cocktails. It'll just take time. So while this is getting set in motion we'll just have to focus on the Siouxsie Sioux knock off, and keep an ear to the ground on whether or not Black Mask experiences Shame.
Nothing too overt yet. In time though, they'll know.

>>42792154
I know anon, but not in character.

>>42792169
Yeah, but usually at least a few anons give praise to the QM for the subtle hints like that. Just wanted them to know that we anons noticed, I guess.

>>42792154
Thats streching too much

>>42792154
might be cool, but most of the crew doesn't seem to want that.
Holly is already a celebrity complete with the money and level of prestige that brings.
Dot thinks this is what she's good for and can indulge her violent urges freely (less so with us in charge but still. If her reaction to every time the OJ comes up is anything to go by she's genuinely concerned about our safety at the least)
Nightjar is against the thought of leaving us to Uncle J, but would literally rather die than be poor and running would be a severe financial step down for her most likely.
Lefty and Righty don't have the presence of mind.
Knock's a lifer and doesn't care if he dies.
Dwayne...might.
Coal's the only other one besides Dwayne, Spike if Dwayne goes, and maybe Orson...who'd be willing to bow out I think.
And Red. Red actively wants to leave.

>>42792154
Also
>At a bar
>With Dwayne and Dot
>And Holly
>And Coal
>With no make-up
>As Brock

>>42791984

"I want something to get the False Facers off our back, and I want something to scare the competition. Seems like a simple compromise: we peg the competition as members of the False Face Society, and turn them in to the Gotham PD. And we make sure they're in so deep they can't buy their way out.

And that leads to the second half of this whole plan: we've been playing nice- sucking up to Gotham this whole time. But nobody wants another sycophant in this city. And do you know what I think? I think we have a chance to do something the Old Joker never could. We be the hero. Guys, all of Arkham is out there in the streets. But who were the ones that saved all the fat cat's at Holly's party? Who saved Crime Alley? Why can't we do the same thing for the rest of the city? We can drum up some huge, city-wide threat, then save the day before Batman gets a shot at it. As long as we know where the threat is before it happens, it should be easy to stop."

"You mean... You want to do just what Batman said you were doin'?" asks Dot.

"Where do you think I got the idea?" you tell her. "And... Listen. You all seem to think the Old Boss is coming back. Some of you are saying this mess might be him getting ready to step back into his role. This whole thing... It could be my way out. And any of you, too. Same as the old Joker. You told me all the others in the Arkham crew fake their deaths all the time, right? So what's one more?"

You look between the whole crew. They seem... sad.

"Not that I don't admire your spirit, Boss..." says Dwayne.

"...But it just ain't gonna be that easy," finishes Dottie.

Dwayne stands. "Tell you what, Boss. I'll talk to the little guy. See if we can work up some kinda dirt on your competitors. Grange tries to stay all squeaky clean, but we can probably get the other two. If they ain't False Facers, they probably know 'em, anyway. All those wealthy types tend to run together."

(cont)

>>42792268

holly was jerking us off under the table too

I feel like somewhere in something we need to add a "Christ, I need to go shoot up a liquor store or something before I go crazy." just, you know, somewhere in here when it all gets to be a little much.
>Stop, laugh a little.
Brock bends but he don't crack.
Can't shock the Brock!

>>42792328
No anon.
She was holding our hand. Reading comprehension.

File: Silent-Hill-Revelation-15(...).jpg (75 KB, 620x401)

75 KB JPG

>>42792322

He continues. "And... I'll see who's stirring around from he Arkham crew. From what we saw on TV, somebody's got themselves all worked up out there. Maybe they'd be wiliin' to let you play Superman with 'em. Just...don't get your hopes up about the whole 'fakin' your death' thing, 'kay Boss?

An' in the meantime, somebody needs ta' get on Vampira's case."

You nod to him. "Thanks, Dwayne."

The crew breaks, and goes about their business. Dwayne makes some calls.

Once Nightjar arrives, you ask her to clarify a few things. "What do you know about Nocturna? You didn't seem to be able to recognize any signs of her after we talked to Wesker. You thought she was Ivy."

"Yes," she agrees. "She has a similar ability, but she generally doesn't take part in conflicts like this. She's a thief by trade; she's worked with Penguin in the past. There's one thing you should know about her. That ghastly skin tone of hers? It's because she doesn't tan well. At all. Something about her skin makes her vulnerable to light, so she only operates at night."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this before, Nightjar? I set a trap for her in the middle of the day; how was I supposed to know she wouldn't show up?"

"You never asked," she says flatly.

Dwayne returns to you later, phone in hand. At the other end is Orson Weatherby. He seems much happier than the last time you spoke.

"Yes Mister... Sir. When Mister Shrader disappeared, they needed someone to step in to fill his position. There was no one left who knew the books as well as I did... And, well, they made an exception regarding my... past with the company. They said they could appreciate my discretion."

"Good to hear, Orson," you tell the man. "Now, I've got a question for you- I'm sure you've seen my rival candidates, right? Do they happen to have any... dealings with your company?"

"One of them, yes sir. Mister Watt."

"Orson, I'd like for BOTH of them to have an account with you."

File: Crazy_Quilt.jpg (274 KB, 445x532)

274 KB JPG

>>42792516

"And I'd very much like for those accounts to have a bit of dirt in them." It takes him a few moments, but he seems to catch on quickly. "I'll have some of the other accountants on it. Send me the details, and I'll have it ready within the week."

"Good man, Orson. I'll be in touch." You hang up.

Your people spend the rest of the day preparing.
That night, at the edge of town, up from the darkness of the sewers on the edge of town, a tremendous creature crawls into the streets of Gotham. The noise and bright lights frighten and confuse the creature as it follows some sixth sense- some alien scent, guiding it deeper into the heart of the strange city. When people or cars get too near, it lashes out in anger. It's frustration builds as it stumbles through the city, whipping into a fit of rage as it tears its way through the streets. As the first rays of dawn near, the creature once again slinks back into the sewers.


>Christened on Tuesday


Early the next day, you have a visitor- a stern, unpleasant looking man with a mustache. "Boss, this is Paul Dekker," says Dwayne. "The Crazy Quilt, fresh outta Arkham. Figure he can give us a hand findin' your galpal Nocturna." The man wearing a plain, if grossly mismatched, outfit. He is clutching an unusual helmet under his arm.

"And... How exactly can you do that, Mister Dekker?" you ask.

The man scoffs. "I'll LOOK for her, of course." You try to look in the man's eyes, but they are milky-white and glazed over. He is blind. "Dekker's got the best damn eyes this side of Metropolis, Boss. Sees things nobody else can. Figure he might be able to spot any traces of Nocturna." Dwayne looks at the man. "He's a bit of a DICK, though. An' if we wants to get paid, he'll watch his mouth."

"If it's all the same, I'd like to get this done quickly," says Dekker. "It's already embarrassing enough that I'm helping someone stalk their girlfriend. I'd rather not be seen with you lot as well."

>>42792698
>Look at Dwayne
>Motion to our eyes
>Tilt head to the other room, motion to Dwayne to follow.
Excuse me Mr. Dekker, I need to talk this over with my associate, this is a bit of a surprise really.
Won't be a moment.

>>42792740
>>42792698
On second thought..
Care to tell me about your headwear? Very nice by the way.

>>42792698
As long as you're sure about this guy D. I trust your judgement. Just warn me if there's a next time alright.

>>42792698

You look at Dwayne, and make a motion with your hands towards your eyes. You tilt your head towards the other room.

"I'm blind, you clown. Not stupid," he says. You're very rightly surprised.

"Some kinda experiment in jail a long time ago, Boss. Scrambled up his optic nerves real bad. I don't know all the details, but somethin' about that helmet lets him see a whole bunch more colors than we can. Wider spectrum or somethin'."

"Yes. 'Or Somethin'," says Dekker. Though he doesn't move his eyes, you can tell he intended to roll them.

"You...weren't wearing the helmet when you called me out a moment ago, friend?" you ask, cautiously.

"Like I said, 'friend.' Blind. Not Stupid."
Dwayne drives through the town, Crazy Quilt in the passenger seat. You ride in the back behind them.

Once you enter the town, the Quilt puts on his yellow helmet, and the multicolored spheres set in it begin to glow. He looks out into the city- unseen by all but him are a million brilliant, shimmering colors. Light reflecting from every surface. Every particle. All their own brilliant hues, and all processed and transmitted directly into Dekker's brain.

You pass through the edge of town- more damage from the night before. Whatever Arkham reject has been smashing up the town seems to be making it a nightly event.

"Stop the car," says Dekker. Dwayne stops, and the man steps onto the street. He looks all around himself, and focuses on a blank wall. He points to it.

"There," he says. "Someone has painted that wall. There's some kind of chemical covering this wall..."

He looks down the street, and then up it.

"...It seems to come from that direction." He points down the street.

>wat do

>>42792820
Might be worth checking out.
But given how this town's gone lately...you bring some party favors Dwayne?

Yeah, bitch can convert anyone to her side. She might have some troops waiting.

>>42792820
Still, I don't think that's what we're looking for. So get ready to beat feet if it turns out Nocturna's not working quite like that huh?
>To crazy quilt
As you might imagine she's always been tightlipped on trade secrets.
>Resist the urge to say "too bad I can't say the same about her other areas." Man, RESIST it.

>>42792820

"Might be worth checking out," you say. "We'd better get ready to beat feet if anything seems fishy though. Dwayne, you made sure to bring party favors, right?"

He raps his fist on the trunk of his car. "Always."

The three of you travel through town, Quilt occasionally indicating which way to turn. You get closer and closer to the edge of town, before nearly leaving it completely. Dwayne stops the car, and the Quilt steps out, carefully stepping through the damp earth as it sucks at his shoes.

Finally, he reaches the edge of the bog. He points to a dark shape near the edge of the swamp- a barrel, half sunken in the muck.

"There," says Dekker. "And this whole body of water. It's all the same color. Whatever it is either came from here, or was put here and spread through town."


You have a horrific, nagging thought.

"Dwayne," you ask, "do you think we're... looking for the Ninja Turtles?"

He is looking into the swamp in thought. He doesn't seem amused by your joke.

>wat do

>>42792961
We should get a sample. Something is spreading the smooze all over town. Might come in handy. Use it ourselves or counteract some chemically inclined mad man.
You got anything for sterile pick up on you? I'll even accept unused doggy bags.
...somethin eating at you D?

Yeah, a sample for Coal is just what we need. This shit is iffy as hell.

>>42792961

"Let's get a sample of this stuff. We can have Coal analyze it. You got anything sterile, D?"

He heads back to the car, brings back an empty soda bottle, and fills it from the swamp. He screws the lid back on to seal it.

The three of you get back into the car. You take Dekker to a dropoff point. "We might need you again, Quilt. We'll keep in touch," you tell him. He doesn't seem happy about it.

You phone Coal and tell her about the sample; while it's unsafe to bring it by now, she says, she promises to be by as soon as she can.

As you and Dwayne drive back to the amusement park, you sit in silence. Finally, you speak up. "Something eating you, D?" you ask.

He shrugs. "Eh... It's just some urban legend."

"Dwayne, let's not do this. We live in Gotham. Whatever it is you're thinking of, there's a good chance it's exactly what's been tearing up the city, Or at least someone is trying to make us think so."

"False Facers?" he asks. "They always go in for that spookshow crap. Ya know, Halloween masks an' all."

"Seems likely," you agree. "Nocturna's probably involved too. She's been doing 'Mistress of Monsters'" thing for a while now.

"Maybe Spellcraft too, what with the chemicals and all. Not sure who she coulda copied this time though..." says Dwayne. "Hey, look on the bright side, though- looks like you got your big bad monster to fight. Works out pretty nice, don't it?"

Something gnaws at the back of your mind, but you can't quite place what it is. Still, the two of you return to the park, the mood lifted considerably.

"Grundy," he says, finally.

"What?"

"That's what the thing's called. Solomon Grundy. Supposed to be from some rhyme or somethin'."

"...I've never heard it," you admit.

"Yeah..." agrees Dwayne. "Me neither."


(cont)

>>42792961
>Note to self.
>Start on a small dose regimen of smilex to get used to it's effects.
>Nothing lethal but enough that our body can work up anti toxins

>>42793268
The propper stuff as well, not our water'd down shit.

>>42793284
Why I didn't think of that 5 threads ago when I joined the gang, I'll never know.
But depending on chemical composition our watered down stuff could do the job just as well.

>>42793313
Whew, we were worried you missed this one as you did #9. Now that you're here, Midnight in Gotham will surely gain more attention! Keep up the good work!

>>42793268
Actually, before we do anything stupid.

Let's ask COAL. She'd know better then anyone.

>>42793339
That was the plan bro.
At least the way I see it.

>>42793255
And then Brock googled "Solomon Grundy". While the gang was mystified by the internet except Coal, Holly, and Nightjar

>>42793255

Later that night, the thing known as Solomon Grundy once again crawls from the sewers and follows the maddening urges that drive him. The creature lumbers deeper into the city, some force pulling harder and harder at him. The force guides him down back streets and alleyways, and through a trainyard. There, masked men are loading boxes onto a train. When the men see the creature, they panic- dropping the boxes and firing guns at him. Though the guns cannot injure him, they do anger him- he smashes the men into bloody pulps. Once the men are dead, he calms himself. Having lost the mysterious trail, he once again returns to the safety and comfort of the sewers.


>Married on Wednesday...


You receive a call from Coal.

"Whatever it is you gave me- I don't recognize it. It looks like some kind of nitrogen fertilizer... and a beef steroid? I'd say it was just chemical runoff, but the two are bonded. It's absurd."

"Did you ask Spellcraft?" you ask.

"Of course I did. She doesn't recognize it either. It isn't one of hers. She's right here if you'd like to talk to her..."

"NO. No, that's okay. I've had quite enough of Mad Maude for one lifetime."

"And whatever this is, you think it's fueling whatever's tearing up the city? I'll see if I can work up something to counteract it."

"Fantastic. Just remember, Coal- it comes to me first, not the police. Oh, and one more thing- I've been thinking about your cure. Do you think you could work up some kind of permanent immunization for me?"

"I'm surprised you didn't ask sooner. I'll see what I can do. ...Take care."

She hangs up.


You explain everything to the gang.

"Well... what now?" asks Dottie. "You seem to know what's going on, an' you set Orson after Watt and Childs. What's your next move?"

>What IS your next move, Boss?

>>42793357
While this QM hasn't fucked us, it's best to be clear about what we want to do.

>>42793411
"Well...heard anything on Black Mask or our boy Shame?
Failing that, I guess we get back on Nocturna's trail considering the other day with our seeing-eye jackass went sideways.
Not necessarily bad, just wasn't what I was hoping for. She's likely pinned to one location during the day, so there's that.
Which'll make it easier to find, but if I were her I'd make sure any safehouse I was stuck in was heavily fortified. So actually getting to her might be a problem."
"We know she's worked with Penguin before. And we know how him and his hen coop get about preening and appearances."
"Not that I'm one to talk I guess, I just merchandised crazy not too long ago.No offense Nightjar." "AND!..wait, Nightjar, did the Chlorox Queen have any particular preoccupations you picked up on from back in the day?"

>>42793411
You know, it occurs to me if she's been caught before...what am I thinking? Nightjar, could you get ahold of her under the pretext of Penguin muscling me out for Dent or something? Or find someone who can, at worst that might make her curious enough to pop her head out over top her coffin. Maybe wait until Coal has done what I asked. We'll keep looking for whatever it is we wind up finding.
If we play a game of horseshoes with the stake I'm considering driving through her heart before then...well then I guess you don't need to."

>>42793411
For whatever it's worth though, I plan on letting her choose what happens. I need whatever information she has, and if she plays nice she gets off scott free with a gig or two if she wants. Clear to slink through the night and thief again.

"I'm telling you this, because I know she didn't intend to kill me. That's great and all..but somehow I feel like she wouldn't have cared if she'd killed my people in the process.
That's unforgivable."

>>42793411

"I think it's best that we get back on Nocturna's trail. Our trip with the seeing-eye jackass got sidetracked yesterday. From what Nightjar said, she's likely pinned to one location during the day. Should make her easier to find, but her safehouse is sure to be fortified.

Nightjar, you said she's worked with Penguin before. Did the Chlorox Queen have any particular preoccupations you picked up on from back in the day?"

She shakes her head. "Like I said, she's a thief. Started out of necessity, then went pro. She was never an operator. Strictly petty crimes. Contracting at best."

"It's like Batman said, I suppose..." you say. "She's acting out of character. Maybe you can get in touch with her in Penguin's name for me? Say he's trying to muscle me out and needs backup. Maybe she'll get curious enough to pop her head out of the coffin."

"I can try," she says.


You turn to Dwayne. "What about Shame? Or Black Mask?"

The gang shares a look, and Dottie leads you outside.

"Found 'em at the gates," she says. "Heard somethin' happened to some of Mask's boys last night, and, well..." She points at the gate. Three severed clown heads sit in front of the gate like grisly jack-o-lanterns. A word is carved into each forehead, spelling out the phrase "TRICK OR TREAT."

"...I guess he figured it was us," she finishes.

>wat do

Anyone we know?

>>42793681
>Check under it to see if its anyone we know.
We've killed a guy and tortured a guy half for kicks. This sucks, but it ought to be us.
"Welp."

Also inb4 "lel don't feed the troll"

I'm not trolling, I'm trying explain the basic fucking rules of etiquette on this board. We have extremely few of those, yet you decide to go out of your way to piss on that. And what does that say about you? Are you "sticking it to the man" or something? Too cool to be literate? Or is this some kind of long con to make people hate quests, because they'll associate them with dicks like you?

This is not hard, kids.

>>42793681
We got our kevlar lined suit on for this?

>>42793681

You walk down the line of severed heads. Then you pick one up, and smear the makeup off its face. You do not recognize the man underneath.

"Anyone we know, Dot?" you ask, sitting the head back down.

"Nobody you do. I seen 'em around now and then. Probably good kids. Guess we'll never know," she says with a shrug.

"We've killed a guy and tortured a guy half for kicks.This ought to be us, you know?"

She laughs, and gives you a good-hearted slap on the back. "Sometimes I forget how green you are. If you're still lettin' Topper get to ya, you're really gonna have fun once the real stuff starts. You get out there an' see if you can track down the vampire chick. We'll see if the little guy's ready to spill his guts over the other guys in the election."


Again, you, Dwayne, and Crazy Quilt track the strange chemical patterns that only he can see. This time, he takes you in the opposite direction of the swamp, deeper into the city. Scattered along the path the Quilt guides you down, you can see signs of wreckage from some kind of creature. Finally, you arrive at the trainyard.

Both you and Dwayne pull your guns, and you make sure you're wearing your kevlar vest. Quilt, however, refuses to take a weapon. You slip between the traincars sitting idly on the tracks; some were in the process of being filled. Today, though, it is a crime scene.

You see no police around, so you duck under the caution tape. Inside, there is still an uncleaned mess- it seems GCPD wasn't quite sure what to pick back up. A mess of blood and unidentifiable meat is smeared all over the small clearing and over the train tracks.

"Came back, huh?" growls a voice behind you. Black Mask is sitting on the edge of an open train car, a naked female mannequin standing next to him. "Yeah, me an' the little lady thought you might. We been waitin'."

A number of thuggish looking men in Halloween masks drop out of the train cars around you.

>wat do

>>42793990
Can we get a quick inventory of what we have on us? I THINK we got some gas, but...

>>42793990
Genuine confusion.
"Easy man, we're just following a trail. Not really my style is it? Nothing funny about what happened here. Crazy Quilt picked up some weird residue...you think this was us?"
"I'm just trying to put the nail in...all this. Whatever's been doing this, we just need to get rid of it and get back to business."

>>42794052

you are a character in a batman story

you have exactly what is narratively convenient on your person at all times.

>>42793990
Aw man, I meant for that part about it should be us in a "our men are our responsibility so we oughta be the one to deal with this mess" deal.
Back to being a spineless greenhorn I guess.

Roll for anal circumference

>>42794090

my bad dog

>>42794114
Reroll

>>42794082
Oh, fair enough.

Hrmm. Enclosed area. We wanna manuver a bit so the wind won't blow it back at us. Stall for time is the best objective. Naked Mannequin? Something's up with that shit.

>>42793990
>Distract with some conversation
>Take into account positioning
You know, once I became mayor I was planning on making all of our deals a little easier.
>sigh, undo coat to expose the claymore directional mine rigged up to our chest over the vest.
But if you want to get some shots in, I understand, I just think you're blowing this out of proportion.
This wasn't my guys.
You want to do this though, I get cracked ribs, and you'll be lucky to drag yourself to the end of the tunnel.
Your guys might get me, but you'll be lucky to have a sucking chest wound, think you can grow new lungs in 5 minutes?
Speaking of, I was in this punk band way back when...anyway, my point is..oh yeah. I have a directional mine pointed at you. I came loaded for bear, just didn't expect a face-off with you or your boys. Or to come here really."

>>42794122
Also, you ok? You've been running almost 2 full days straight.

>>42794082

Except for cream pies.

>>42794211
No? Too stupid? Right, out for the morning. That said, we should make this a thing."

File: the_black_mask_by_bgates87.jpg (103 KB, 639x1251)

103 KB JPG

>>42793990

"Easy man. We're following a trail. We're trying to find what did all this.

Not my style, right? Nothing funny about all this. Once we find what's been doing this, we can get rid of it, and get back to business."

Black Mask reaches inside his jacket and slips a pair of brass knuckles on. He then removes the jacket of his suit, and lets it fall to the ground behind him. He rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt as he approaches you. "Nah, Clown. Not this time. We've been goin' at this for too long. I wanna get this all wrapped up."

You try to maneuver around a bit upwind- but in doing so, you put yourself in the midst of his men's guns- though since he is in the middle too, it's unlikely they'll fire at you. Unlikely, but not impossible.

"You know, once I became mayor, I was planning on making all of our deals a little easier. But hey, if you want to get some shots in, I understand. I just think you're blowing this out of proportion. This wasn't my guys, Mask.

But hey, you want to do this though, I get cracked ribs, and you'll be lucky to drag yourself to the end of the tunnel. Your guys might get me, but you'll be lucky to have a sucking chest wound. Think you can grow new lungs in 5 minutes? And who's your girlfriend?

The Black Mask punches you in the jaw.

>Roll 2d6

>>42794230

im sorry.

she was drunk on the couch earlier, man! you shoulda pied her then!

>>42794288
"someone definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, yeesh"

Rolled 5, 1 = 6 (2d6)

>>42794288

>>42794315
Oh no.

Rolled 6, 3 = 9 (2d6)

>>42794288

>>42794288

You feel your neck snap back as the man's fist cracks into your face. Light flashes before your eyes.

You really can't take a punch.

You reel from the blow, then wipe a fleck of blood from your mouth. "Alright, someone definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." You spit out a bloody wad of something. You hope it wasn't a tooth.

The Black Mask prepares for a second blow.

>wat do

>>42794430
The man wants a brawl, so give him a brawl. We trained knife fighting, so either pull a knife or a crowbar and whack him one. if we have a gas canister or such we need to roll it towards the gunmen discretely when we take a punch

>>42794430
What we always do,
Dodge and Cackle

>>42794455
I agree with this.

>>42794430

"You want a brawl, Mask? I'm gonna give you one."

From your own jacket you draw your knife- taking care not to expose the gas canisters at your waist. Just like you were taught, you ready the knife in front of you. Mask takes another swing- but this time, he also tries to maintain his distance. Your blade gives you an advantage.

You dodge under his blow, and strike with your knife.

>roll 3d6
>tell me how you attacl

Rolled 4, 3, 2 = 9 (3d6)

>>42794510

Carefully. We have a range advantage...and he'll be expecting wild. Remember the training, and go for blood.

>>42794430
Take some pot shots on him fight a bit dirty when we get a chance discretely gas capsule the gunmen. Drop to the ground, but not before we cue in Dwayne and Quilt

Rolled 3, 3, 5 = 11 (3d6)

>>42794510
Use our reach, don't worry about vitals dodge and strike at his arms to wear him out. Feint, trip him up after a couple of these, when he's opened up hit vitals.

>>42794576
Something like that dice, yes, something like that ought to do.

Rolled 6, 2, 5 = 13 (3d6)

>>42794510

So if the dice are anything to go by Mask starts strong then we close the gap in a horrifying way?

>>42794510

You pull back from Mask, and try to strike him in the torso. The blade pierces his shirt, and you feel the tip of the blade rake through the upper layer of his skin. He jerks back.

He tries to punch you again, but you strike at his arms each time he does, opening another cherry-red gash across his skin. His strikes come slower and slower as be becomes more careful with his swings.

Finally, after an exaggerated swipe, Black Mask draws his arm back with a howl of pain. You pull the knife straight back, knocking one of the grenades free from your belt. When it hits the ground, you stomp it, causing the mechanism to trigger and spray a thick fog of gas directly up around you. You quickly kick the grenade towards the gunmen, who panic.

You wave madly at Dwayne and Quilt as you stagger towards them, light headed from your own gas.

Without hesitation, Crazy Quilt raises a hand to his helmet and fires a beam of brilliantly-flashing light. Two of the masked gunmen scream as their flesh is burned away. The smell of burning hair and flesh joins the smell of rotting meat in the trainyard.

Dwayne grabs you by the shoulder and jerks you behind the traincars; you hear them chase after you, but are able to lose them. You quickly jump in Dwayne's little car and flee.


"I can't say that was on my schedule for today," you say."

>>42794659
You know, I'm genuinely sorry Mr. Dekker. My initial impression of you was terribly erroneous. You're crazy skilled. I'm glad to be working with you.

>>42794759
Nah man, need a joke in there, and no apologizing.

>>42794822
I'm surprised, you really light those guys up!

>>42794822
not that I disagree but I wasworking off "loopy from gas, loopy from brass knuckles"
But hey man, throw your hat in the ring and help me out. Please? I'm at a loss outside of talking to him about using art as a weapon and how that's neat.

>>42794659

"You know, Mr. Dekker," you tell the man. "Maybe I was wrong about you. You really lit those guys' faces. Glad to be working with you." The man gives you a single self-righteous chuckle. "Yes, I'm... sure you are."

The trail having lead you straight into a trap, the three of you leave once again, empty handed. "Ya had Mask on the ropes back there. Pretty damn good, I'd say," says Dwayne, once you've left Crazy Quilt behind again. "I wasn't sure I could win, though," you admit. "So I cheated."

"Way I look at it, cheatin' IS winnin' kid. Ain't no dead man ever gonna dispute the rules." You head back home.
Later in the night, Solomon Grundy once again climes up from the sewers near the trainyard. Tonight, whatever drives him pulls stronger than ever. The behemoth tears a straight line towards the source, climbing walls and tearing through buildings if possible. He turns down a dark alleyway in the heart of town as quickly as he can- and a much smaller shape stops him. The confused beast barely able to comprehend her presence. He simply recognizes that he has reached his goal. "Shhh....." hisses Nocturna, a delicate gloved hand stroking the face of the monster. "Hush now. Momma's here."
>Took ill on Thursday

You describe your conflict with Black Mask to the gang, only barely embellishing the story- you leave out the part where he hits you in the face, for instance, although your swollen busted lip gave you away. For his part, Dwayne backs up your story 100%.

"You'll be happy to know that two of the mayoral candidates dropped out of the race today under allegations of ties to organized crime. Only Mayor Grange herself remains in the race," says Nightjar. "Mister Weatherby really is a fine accountant."

"I'm sure Mask's gonna try somethin' else, though. Soon," says Knock. "'Specially if you clocked him. That guy's got an ego."

Coal arrives shortly after, a pair of your men carrying a cooler behind her. "Your poison," she says.

>>42794892
Your art is a blast?

>>42794924
At this point Coal, you're going to need to be a little more specific. Which is?

>>42794924
Which kind of poison, the kind for me or the kind for my enemies?

>>42795049
If it's for us, IE the immunity thing.
"I assume this is going to hurt like hell? And it should work as advertised? Ok, then Bottoms uo, Doc's orders.

>>42794924

She opens the cooler and holds up a plastic bag, filled with a blue fluid.

"What's it do?" you ask.

"...A lot," she says. "I have no idea what you're fighting, so I threw in a little of everything. If it's nitrogen based, this should suffocate it. If the steroids were for animal tissue, this should break them down. It will probably kill just about anything, of course- I had to be thorough. And it's certain to leave quite a mess once things start... breaking down.

Try not to touch it or spill it on yourself." She puts the bag back into the cooler.

"How about the cure for my gas?"

She reaches into her jacket pocket, and pulls out a syringe. "Now?" she asks.

"...Later," you tell her. She looks like she might enjoy it too much for the moment.

"I tried to get in touch with Nocturna through her old contact numbers. Either she's changed her contacts without alerting anyone, or she simply doesn't want to be found."

"Then what's the plan today, Boss?" asks Dottie. "We gonna keep tryin' to play detective? Because I been thinkin- what if we were to try to make 'em come to us?"

>>42795116
>wat do

>>42795129
I do think once we get a plan set, we should let her get us our shots. Better sooner then later.

>>42795116
"...Well, alright. What are you thinking?"
>She does know that was the original plan right?

>>42795129
You know we're bringing in Condiment King and Crazy Quilt right?

>>42795284

words no one else has ever said

>>42783141
Friendly reminder to put "quest" in your filename to make it easier on everyone.

>>42795284
>>42795116
Maybe the Moth if she decides to distract Bats again. But we might get a price break if we point out the likelihood of Bats showing is high.

>>42795116
Let's hear the girl out then take our shot.

>>42795402
>>42795116
Wait, which version of Smilex is the shot for? Possible side effects? Might be best to wait.

>>42795116

"...Well, alright. What are you thinking?" you ask her.

She blinks. "I just... figured we could find whoever the big guy is. Mess 'im up. That's the whole deal, right? You wanna go on TV with your big guy."

You shake your head. "No, Dot. Whoever the big guy is, he's probably somehow related to Nocturna. And from his attacks on Black Mask, we know he's not with the False Facers. That means that the one calling the shots for Nocturna isn't Black Mask. So we have to drive whoever it is out into the light, and hope they turn to dust like Nocturna."

"Right," she says, "But see, I had an idea when Mask sent our boys' heads over. You been followin' after the big guy, right? 'Cept there's never nothin' to find at the end. What I'm sayin' is that we be where he's goin' before he gets there."

"But how are we supposed to know?"

"He's been movin' further into town every night, yeah? That means he's got a smaller area he can be in every night. An' you said Quiltman can see some kinda goop the thing leaves. You follow that, an' you follow that while he's out instead of the day after, an' I think we'll have our man. An' then we go for the guy at the top- by goin' through his goon."

>wat do

>>42795323
Give it time OP. Give it time.

>>42795284
>>42795323
>>42795521

Op made people excited for fucking killer moth, crazy quilt, and condiment king. how fucked up is that

>>42795505
Well THAT...would probably lead us to Nocturna too...
Bring the goop to make sure whatever goon she has working for her, just to keep the fight unfair. And CK and Patches to keep Nocturna covered.
Could work. Somebody get me a map. I gotta figure out where our boy is.
>That's genuinely kinda brilliant
>Why didn't I think of that?

>>42795574
Crazy Quilt I'm not so fond of, he's a special type of specialized tool, Moth MIGHT be good but might be more trouble than he's worth here.
Condiment King has always been gold.

>>42795636
Besides, Killer Moth might decide to just fuck off if he there's no chance to fight Batman.

In other news, I should be surprised, but somehow I'm not.
I'm not at all surprised that Dot understands hunting and stalking prey.
For some reason I find it adorable.
even though I know it ends in slasher flick

brb

>>42795697
So, shot. Yes? No? Double check side effects and what version of Smilex she made it for? Our other variants can kinda suck it. I'm worried about the original.
And we can't be hitting high fever and seizures while we adjust during this fight

>>42795636
>>42795697

The point is you aren't laughing at the idea of them. And he didn't even change anything about them.

>>42795872
But Condiment King has always been one of my favorite Z-Listers, and just because I wouldn't grab a beer with him doesn't mean Crazy Quilt isn't legit.
I can totally laugh at the concept and then think "oh man, shit's about to get real." when they show up, since they're so laughable on the face of it they're normally used by people who use them for a reason.
Outside of me being an insect nerd I'm not super fond of Killer Moth as a character though. In general.

>>42795505
You think about it for a moment. "Dot, that's actually kind of brilliant."

"Well, yeah. I know," she says, the faintest hint of a smile on her face.

But you've already moved on to work. You head to the map still mounted on the wall from the Bombs for Babies campaign, and pick up a handful of tacks.

"Dwayne, point out where Crazy Quilt led us. First the Swamp..."

He points to the edge of town, and you stick a pin in it.

"And then there was the street..."

He points it out, and you mark it too.

"...And the trainyard..."

He points, you mark. A line is marked straight through town. You measure the space between each pin, and place a fourth.

"That means that last night, he was here. We can take Quilt by today. And if he's right, that means..." Another measure, another pin.

"...He'll be here tonight."

Dot looks uncertain, however.

"Hang on a sec...," she says, measuring out two more pins. The final one is straight in Gotham harbor.

"Look- whoever this is has some theatrical thing goin' on, right? Makes sense whatever he's plannin' is gonna go down on Halloween- but look. On Halloween his boy'd be takin' a swim. An' look at the trainyard- it ain't centered with the Swamp an' the street, yeah?"

She shuffles the pins around on the board.

"It ain't a line; it's a spiral."

Dwayne looks at her marks up-close.

"...and the center pin is right on the amphitheater."

(Cont)

>>42796072
...nice fucking work, Dot.

>>42796072
And we just take a minute to be quietly impressed.

>>42796072
The eyefu sees all

File: ouch.jpg (81 KB, 1585x1011)

81 KB JPG

>>42796072

"We've got time," you say. "We can check easily. Dwayne, go pick up Crazy Quilt. And someone get me Condiment King- if Nocturna's around tonight, we'll need him.

And we'll take Coal's goop. Should help us even the score if the Big Boy shows up."

Coal is still standing nearby. She glowers at you over her glasses. You grit your teeth.

"...Alright. We'll do the injection." She smiles and pats the table in front of her. "And this is for the real Smilex, right? Not the stuff I've had you make?" She puts a hand on your chest and pushes you down. "Yes, yes. All of it... Probably."

This does not fill you with confidence. You roll up your sleeve for the small needle... as she is reaching into the cooler. "...Coal? College? What are you..."

She pulls a much larger syringe from beneath the ice. Your skin goes nearly as pale as your makeup. "...I didn't want to scare you. I'm a chemist, not a doctor. They don't teach us bedside manner."

She jabs the huge needle deep into your abdomen, and you begin to dry heave. It feels as if a small fist is pushing its way through your body.

Your ears begin to ring, and your vision blurs and begins to go dark around the edges.

As she depresses the plunger, you feel bile rising in the back of your throat. After what feels like an eternity, she pulls the syringe free with a sickening "pop."

You lie panting on the table. You may have just undergone the most painful experience of your life.

"S...side effects?" is all you are able to say as you regain your senses.

She shrugs. "Maybe. You tell me."

She must see the anger and fear on your face. She smiles, and pats you on the forehead. "You were a very good boy, though. Want me to see if I can find you a sucker?"

>>42796391

"College" should be "Collete"

>>42796402
You owe us an apology clown porn [/spoiler

>>42796391
"....Can I have two lollys?"

>>42796391

kiss her

>>42796402
Hey QM, watched the Gotham TV series?

>>42796391

"Could you kiss it to make it feel better?"

>>42796498

I watched the pilot a couple of days ago.

>>42796391
>"You were a very good boy, though. Want me to see if I can find you a sucker?"

Dammit, boner, go away, I'm trying to do clown things!

>>42796515
It's kinda meh tbh

>>42796515
>>42796537
To be fair its before old bats comes around.
Season 2 is shaping up better.

>>42796391
"Well if your offering"

>>42796537

yeah it seemed kinda weird that everybody grew up together or w/e

also penguin doesnt fat

>>42796391
i can't wait to pie you

>>42796565
Penguin is the best character in the show though so there's that.

>>42796391
You'd think, because right now I feel like one.
>Laugh it off
Rough guess for how long until this gets in my system enough to work? If not, or it doesn't I'll go with what plan A was until I thought to call you.
[spoilers]shooting up microdoses of Smilex to build tolerance and moving to increased dosage when the last step down stopped having any effect.[/spoiler]

>>42796624
Damn it auto-correct.

>>42796391
>Just make something resembling progress with Dot.
>Folks want to mack on the demented mother hen of the group in front of her.
I'm blaming the drugs!

>>42796714
Hopefully OP ignores some of that shit

>>42796714
Of course! Obviously what she injected us with is a fast acting aphrodisiac and mind control serum!

in all seriousness, though, I'm in the "anything that avoids death" boat

>>42796391

"You wanna kiss it better or something?" you ask, looking at her with anger. She laughs it off.

You climb to your feet, still a bit wobbly from the pain. Dwayne takes both you and Dot to pick up Crazy Quilt, and head to the location you predicted. Even without searching for chemical traces you can tell it's the wrong place- there is no sign of the damage the other sites had. Crazy Quilt puts on his helmet and confirms it.

Dot was right. Who or whatever it is is traveling in the shape of a spiral, coming closer and closer to the amphitheater each night.

Knock and Condiment King are called, and meet you at the site of the predicted crime. The six of you stake out the area long into the night.

...Finally, just as you all nearly think you had the wrong place, you hear a slow, heavy stomping coming from down an alleyway.

Of course, Crazy Quilt sees it first, but soon you all see the creature. An enormous, misshapen man, bulging with muscles. It walks with a lumbering, almost apelike gait, and its skin is pale white- but unlike Nocturna's perfect porcelin skin, the flesh of the creature is as the skin of a drowned corpse, bloated and mottled.

>wat do

>>42796815
Recite that weird Grundy nursery rhyme Spike found online.

>>42796815
>Quietly
Everybody got their Smilex antidote capsules? I might have brought a mixed bag tonight.
And taking those anosmia pills...the things that cut off your sense of smell might be good before Nocturna shows.
Remember Crazy Quilt, wound, don't kill.
We need her for information.
Alright. No way we can take this guy in a stand up fight if what we saw in the trainyard was indication.
Our best be may be to trap him in the amphitheatre and hit him with the super soakers full of goop.
And CK...no twirling the damn thing. You understand? This ain't exactly food grade.
We'll give him minute to get all unawares.
Maybe see what he's looking for.
Spread out and get in position. Everybody cover someone, a couple if you can.
Everybody comes back alive.

>>42797018
>>42796815
And CK, buddy, when I say cover. I don't mean our friends in the goop. If that thing comes for somebody. Tag the thing. Not our team. Got it?

>>42797081
>>42797018
>Point at grundy
When I give the signal cover -that- guy in the goop. Nobody else. We can't afford to be sloppy right now.

>>42796815

"Everybody got the capsules ready?" You ask the crew, as quietly as you can. They nod.

"And Quilt- No killing, okay? We need Nocturna alive. Condiment King- here." You gently hand him Coal's poison.

"...What do I do with this?" he whispers.

You make gun with your finger, and point to it, hoping he understands.

He looks at it, and shakes his head. "Sorry partner, can't do it. I'm Condiment King, not Mouthwash King, or whatever that is." He hands it back to you. You look at him in surprise.

Behind you, the huge creature is stirring. It walks into the alleyway, completely unaware... Unlike its previous targets, this time it seems to not be trying to smash everything.

Eventually, as the creature stands by doing nothing, to signal Quilt to attack. He fires a ray of energy at the creature. It holds up its arms and howls in fear and anger as it rushes towards him- and towards all of you.

>roll 4d6
>wat do

>>42797628

Rolled 4, 4, 2, 3 = 13 (4d6)

>>42797628

Rolled 3, 3, 6, 6 = 18 (4d6)

>>42797628
Side step out of the way, and hurl the vail of deadly goo at him.

>>42797628
>Mouthwash monarch
Fund it.

Rolled 6, 1, 4, 4 = 15 (4d6)

>>42797628
Get out of the way. Scatter the guys, fall back as needed. Cover each other.Keep it's attention shifting so it can't act. Throw in the goo when it comes our way.

Also, do we have anyone filming this? Maybe from a citizen on the street perspective?

>>42797628

The creature rushes at Crazy Quilt, hammering its fists into the roof of the car before him. The whole thing crashes to the pavement as Quilt falls to the ground, his leg slipping under the vehicle. He screams in pain, and the laser from his helmet fires upwards into the night sky.

"Everyone, scatter!" you shout. "Keep his attention!"

The group strafes around the creature as he flails about, each taking shots at him and luring him away from the others. Finally, they drive him near you- with all your might, you toss the plastic bag of corrosive fluid at the beast...

>roll 3d6

Rolled 2, 1, 4 = 7 (3d6)

>>42798251

Rolled 4, 1, 3 = 8 (3d6)

>>42798251
Hail Satan.

Rolled 1, 6, 3 = 10 (3d6)

>>42798251

Rolled 4, 4, 1 = 9 (3d6)

>>42798251
.nataS liaH

>>42798251

You toss the gel pack towards the beast. It hits its mark, and strikes his shoulder.

...And does not break. In fear, the creature slaps the bag, and a spray of fluid coats his face, back, arms, and hand. The beast's flesh begins to his, and it screams. It flees down the the street.


Your small band tries to chase it down, but as soon as you round the corner, you can no longer see the creature- somehow, it has eluded you.

Dwayne lifts the remnants of the crushed car from Crazy Quilt's bleeding, shattered legs. You help him into the car as best you can, and take him back to the park. There is no more you can do here tonight.

In the sewers, the creature known as Solomon Grundy whimpers in pain as it gingerly nurses the wounds now covering its upper body. Deep oozing sores now grow where the fluid touched his flesh, and small shreds of jellied meat fall from him. The creature does not understand how in the damp, dark comfort the sewer offers him, he can still suffer. He feels a familiar force call to him once again, and he trudges through the filthy water towards it...

>Grew Worse On Friday


"Your chemical seemed to hurt it," you tell Coal. "I'm not sure what the thing actually was. It's probably some sort of experiment like the Man-Bats. It was big, though."

"And no sign of Nocturna?" asks Nightjar. You shake your head. "That might have been why he was just standing around. He seemed... I don't know, aimless? Like he was just waiting for us."

"He could have been a decoy, you know," says Coal. "Some kind of corpse propped up on stilts for a few minutes."

"Not the way this thing moved," says Dot. "It was the real deal."

"Then I suppose you'll all be going out again tonight, right? Except Ragman, of course," says Nightjar. Dwayne is watching the television in the back, but turns to face the group. "Nightjar, I think we're all going out again NOW."

On television, you see the creature running amok- in broad daylight, for the first time.

>wat do

>>42798788
Guess we'll go after it, Batman ain't going to do it, since it's daylight. And the cops probably can't handle it. I wonder if we can ask for money for taking it down?

>>42798788
See if coal has anymore of her special sauce before we go.

>>42798788
I feel like we should call this one a draw...
How bad is this whole thing really?
>Newscast watching intensifies.
Coal? Do you think you could get some more blue chemical concoctions that shouldn't be together to put this thing down?

>>42799597
If we could get it to batman let him know what it does the he can use it. I know we wanted to make it out that we're the heroes in this situation, but I don't think we can tank this on our lonesome, plus the bats would be able to administer a lot easier than we could.

>>42799708
Might be cool but...bat signal? Do we know about that?

>>42799708
>>42799932
Wait, right, day. So how?

>>42799954
>>42799932
The cops use it all the time so we should.
Maybe prirate the siganl and put the batmark in one of the corners?

>>42800032
Daytime, though.

>>42800059
Put it on the broadcast everyone has a tv right?

>>42800073
Fuck Batman! If we get everyone High powered Waterguns filled with the poison, we can probably take grundy.

>>42798788

"Coal, looks like we'll need some more special sauce. This time, we're catching him for sure."

"You sure about that, chief?" asks Dwayne. "Shouldn't you... ya know, call Batman? You ain't a hero, Boss. Nobody said you gotta be. No point in goin' runnin' in there unless you got a death wish."

You hesitate. Maybe you should, you think to yourself. Maybe this really is too much...

"We can get the pirate signal going," you say. "Put his little logo in the corner. He's bound to see it. Maybe we can get him out during the day."


"...Is that what you want?" asks Dottie, solemnly.

"What? We're saving our lives here, Dot! We tried last night, and we failed."

"No," says Dottie. "If I have to go by myself, I'm gettin' that son of a bitch" She walks over to Coal's cooler, and takes the gel pack. She shakes it towards you.

"You wanted 'im, you're gettin' him, one way or the other."

Holy shit.

"Dottie! Dottie, wait!" you say, chasing after her. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

You grab her by the shoulder to stop her, but she jerks away. She turns and glares at you.
"You get in there an' talk all big an' bad about how you're gonna change this an' that. Be some big goddamn hero, right?"

>>42800168
She's right.

We've been a lot of talk.

Put our fucking big boy pants on, and let's go get some.

>>42800168
You're right Dottie! Fuck the Batman! High Powered Waterguns! That's what we need!

>>42800168
She isn't wrong, it's time to nut up or shut up.

>>42800168

Dottie shoves you. Hard.

"You're perfectly happy to sit around the table while everybody calls you Boss, tellin' yourself how you're gonna save somebody. Pattin' yourself on the back about how you're some kinda goddamn savior, comin' down from on high to save all us miserable goddamn lowlives, right? An' then it comes right down to it, an' you just decide to shove it off on somebody else."

"Dottie, you KNOW he's better suited for this then we are."

"...An' you been spendin' how long talkin' about how we was some kinda great big bad tearin' up this city or whatever, an' now you're ready to run off to Batman just because somethin' got you spooked.

I known a lot of people like you all my life. Buncha rats lookin' for somethin' to eat your way into. You an' Holly, you're a whole lot alike, you know, BOSS?"

She practically spits the last word.

"...So I'm gonna go get you your ticket outta here."

She throws open the door of the car, and slams it behind her.

The car peels out, and you are left alone at the entrance to the park.
Condiment Kind comes up behind you and pats you on the back, watching the car tear down the dirt road.

"You two havin' problems, partner? You mind if I... Ya know..." He pulls the trigger on his mayonnaise gun. You do not laugh. "..Nah," he says. "Didn't think so."

>wat do

>>42800502
Warparty to follow Dottie. We need to back her up

>>42800502
Shame people ain't always of the same mind.

I also missed the last voting period, I woulda gone with her for sure, but that's just me.

I don't like mak'n plans then just ordering others about. We give the orders, we get our hands dirty too, and like hell I'm about to let Dot face down some overgrown swampzombie alone.

Get acid, a lot of acid.

We'll melt this fucker.

>>42800502
God damn it we can't let her down. We are nothing like holly. Chase after the girl we'd never forgive ourselves if something happened to her.

>>42799708
>>42799932
>>42800032
Fuck ya'll! We're The Joker! We only need Batman to do two things, eat shit and die!

>>42800168
Eh, you're right. I guess last night just got to me a bit. We'll need some- hold on. COAL! THAT SHIT WORK IN WATER GUNS? Maybe a seltzer bottle or an old fire tru- hell. Maybe we can get her to whip up some "water balloons" or a tee-shirt canon or something?

>>42800168
>>42800502

qm no, my heart

>>42800502
Guys. Get all the acid. All the Smilex. Explosives. Looks like Dottie's going after the thing herself. Get moving. NOW! YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES.

>>42800752
THEY have 2 minutes.

We're going NOW, because like hell we're letting her be alone. Grab a few things of the sauce while everyone else gathers the material, and GO. GO NOW. DO IT. DO IT FAGET.