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>>42607822
And what if he were to return...?

There are other matters that prey on your mind as well. Penguin has been an uneasy ally recently, but how long will that last? Now that his quarrel with Top Hat has been ended, has your truce been broken? And just how much does he know about you? Furthermore, what of Two-Face? Through sheer dumb luck you made it out alive, but once he recovers, he is sure to be out for blood.

And of course, there is one looming, ever-present problem...


"Hey Boss. What're you doin' out here so early? We been wonderin' where you went." It is Dottie, one of your chief enforcers. The green-haired girl is wearing a garish lime-green jacket, and her voice tinged with a rasp from years of heavy smoking. Despite the early hour, her face is already caked with the thick clown paint. Her hands are in her pockets, and a cigarette is hanging from her mouth.

"Dot, I've been thinking about something for a while now..." you say slowly.


"Yeah? What's up?" she says, dropping onto the bench beside you.

"...I think it's time we did something about Batman."

"Do...what about him?" She seems baffled.

"I don't know," you say. "We need some kind of protection. Some kind of contingency plan. What did the old Joker do about him?"

She bites her lip, and thinks. "Old Boss wasn't much for plannin'," she says. "I can tell you what I know, but he mostly... You know, " she shrugs, "winged it, I guess."

"I can't wing it, Dottie. Listen Dot, that night in Arkham? When you were knocked out? Dot, he told me he KNOWS. He knows I'm not the Joker." You look at her. The worry in her face matches her own.

"So...what are you sayin', Boss? What do you want to do...?"


>What are some ideas we can bounce off of Dot?

>>42607846
Does the Bat have any known associates, if we could figure out who he is through them we might gain some form of leverage, cause him distractions outside of his caped crusading. Didn't have a side kick, something bird wonder or other?

>>42607846
Or we could true and lure him into a trap something that might let us learn a bit of how he thinks what his fears are and then let us use those against him.
>>42608159
This is also me.

>>42607846
"We're going to hit him where it hurts, we need to find something that he doesn't want us to know and snatch it, crush it, melt it, and everything above then we'll kill the bat so Gotham can know not to fuck with the new fucking joker!"
Track him down, maybe let us be caught so we can plant a tracking device on him?
We need to find someone who can help us to deal with him or if they have any information about bats?
Unmask the bat?
Kill his associates?

>>42607846
>What are some ideas we can bounce off of Dot?
what do we know about when and where the batman intervenes with us?

>>42608266
Try* not true

>>42608405
Well he knows we like to use distractions to try and lure him away from our true goals, which he seems to be able to guess fairly easily. We might have to find away to start a dialogue with the bat so we can use what we know of psychology to begin a profile of common behaviors.

>>42608505
Maybe leave a disposable cell phone at a crime scene witb a note addressed to the batman ask him to call us on another disposable cell.

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>>42607822
>>42607846
>forgot trip again

"Does Batman have any associates?" you say. "If we can find someone he knows, we might be able to find his identity through them. There's... whatsis name, Robin, right?"

"The little girl?" she says. "Yeah, somebody used to run with him. Haven't seen him around for the last... year or so, maybe?"

"What about the police? Does he have any connections there?"

She shrugs. "Couldn't tell ya. You kidnap a cop he's probably gonna come runnin', whether its personal or not." She looks at you. "You tryin' ta scare him? Or track down his identity...

Lemme warn you, Boss. The Old Boss never could suss out the Bat's identity. You're makin' me nervous, slick."

"We just need to find something that he doesn't want us to know. Something that we can hold over him.

He's already onto my trick with the distractions... Maybe we can try to find some way to talk to him? Maybe he'll let something slip?"

>>42608604
Are you fucking kiddin me

somebody brough up the idea last thread about doing a fake interview with the bat man, might be a good idea as a way to start getting into his head.
also we might want to create more hard choices for him he can ether save the school or the police station but doesn't have time for both

>>42608604
Simple take some hostages and pack them into different locations where they're hard to reach, maybe a blimp, ship, and train. After that announce our hostage situation through holly or just hack the airways and just ask bats for a date.

>>42608670
We make it too difficult he may call in some of his JLA friends. I'm thinking we stage a crime to lure him to a location or something of the like.

>>42608604

Dottie sighs. "Me and D were worried about somethin' like this. New guys on the streets always get it in their heads that there's somethin' they can do to fight the Bat. But the thing is, ya can't.

Bat's just part of life 'round here. Ya can't stop him. And don't bother tryin' to find out who he is. Ya think you got him pinned down, then he'll pull the rug out from under ya, every time. Drove the old Boss crazy. "

She looks at you. "...Well, Crazier."

"I guess I'm not trying to stop him or kill him or something," you say. "I guess... I just want to know what I'm dealing with."

Dottie looks thoughtful. "Well, there's a lotta theories. Boss was convinced he was a regular guy dressin' up. Me and D talked about it once, and he thinks he's some kinda merc the police keep on call, for any kinda 'extrajudicial' situations. Buncha guys who ain't seen him in person are convinced he ain't human."

"And you?" you ask.

"I say it don't matter. Whoever he is, he ain't gonna leave us alone."

"How about this," you say. "Next crime, we leave behind a burner phone for him. Have a chat that can't end with him choking me again."

"Boss, I don't know...."

>>42609418
Whats the worst bat can do through a phone call, yell at me for my life choices? He ain't my mom he can't tell me what to do. It can't hurt much to try to learb how the opposition works.

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>>42609122
nice try but there are like eight other waifus besides Batman

>>42609418
We are trying to kill him you dimwit, well at some point. We kill the batman and heroes start hunting us down!

>>42609418
Two birds with one stone idea, why not take over the school and start executing kids for batman to come out, since robin looks like a teenager that's a pretty good assumption to take.

>>42609701
Killing kiddies aint funny though.

>>42609739 #

It can be, just use a lot of confetti

>>42609418

"What's the worst he can do through a phone call, Dot?" you laugh, nervously.

"You learn not to underestimate the Bat eventually 'round here, Boss..."


Suddenly, you see a large shape come running towards you. It is Dwayne.

"Hey Boss," he shouts, carrying a cell phone in his hand. "You got a phone call."

He hands you the phone. On the end, you hear a familiar, squawking voice.

"Hello, Penguin."

>>42609739
Play a little game called simon says, if you don't listen to simon then you die.
or
>>42609807

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Who will be our waifu and why is it Batman?

>>42609824
I'd still rather not kill kids, kidnaping, threatening, extorting, getting them hooked on dangerous chemicals, brainwashing them on the other hand I'm down with. Why kill em when we can raise the little tykes to be our personal miniclown army.

>>42610052
The answer is Dottie.

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>>42610062
To see a furious batman for a giggle or two and to show we mean business.

>>42610169
I get the feeling having him fight through an army of drugged out brainwashed kids might piss him off more especially if we make it clear to him that they can't be held responsible for their actions, he'd hesitate to figgt them fully.

>>42610242
Ooh, or we could have Fallout explosive collar thing and if they don't kill Batman, they die!

>>42610242
I doubt that since he has a chance to save the kids were you can't save a dead kid, why not meet in the middle and execute some and brainwash the assholes of the school. Wouldn't you think he'll be more pissed off to that?

>>42610062
I dunno, on one hand I'm against just randomly walking into a school and start shooting.

On the other school shootings is the new hip thing all the kids are doing now a days.

>>42610326
I think it's funnier pitting him against innocents that he'd have trouble hurting than punks he'd have no problems putting down.

>>42610387
Unless they're kids

>>42609816

"Nightjar contacted me last night. I understand that your... personnel issues have been solved? Happy to hear it, my friend. A pleasure to help."

"Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get you your hat rack. But if I remember correctly," you say, "you also wanted Top Hat dead."

He laughs. "WAARK WAARK WAARK. My friend, I'd have gotten Mister Winston myself. But how could I fail to render aid to such dear, old friend as yourself?


Besides, our arrangement has proved quite fruitful, and profitable, for the both of us. Perhaps in light of our success, we might... formalize our partnership? Two-Face isn't the only other gang leader out there, old boy. It can never hurt to have another friendly face around.... WAARK WAARK WAARK!"

>wat ask
>wat do

>>42610052
>>42610113

C O A L
O
A
L

>>42610438
>>42610113

Holly, you mean.

>>42610409
>wat ask
Well since you asked nicely, sure. Well since that's over let me take advantage of this and ask, would you be able to get your hands on some I dunno explosive collars, kids size if you can?"

>>42610499
>>42610438
>>42610113

That's a strange way to spell Dwayne.

>>42610409
>wat ask
>wat do
might be fun, though might be best to not keep it to formal, just share favors now and then things such as when we plan our next big show so Penguin can he gets something done while we distract half the town

>>42610409
Thay does sound tempting what did you have in mind, also I'm thinking of fucking around with batyboys head, got any ideas you'd like to see put into motion? I'm thinking of sending him a bunner phone and then prank calling him at odd hours of the night maybe send him some hung dick pics, no not the phallic verson just some rich asshole we kidnapped a few day ago.

>>42610409

How hard is it to kill kids with explosives?

>>42610540
Burner*

>>42610557
Not that hard. I do like the bomb collar, maybe make them look like bow ties. . . Bow ties are cool with the kiddies now right?

>>42610610
Bright purple bowties with their hair dyed green and their lips painted red, let's make the Joker style "in".

>>42610670
We're becoming the principle of Gotham high and execute a new dress code!

>>42610726
Emphasis on the "execute"

Someone mis-archived the quest http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/42607822/

>>42610409

"I'm listening," you say. "What've you got in mind?"

"Perhaps we can continue the conditions of our previous arrangement? Nightjar seemed to work well enough with with your organization. She could continue working under your employ... Consider her a contractor. She can provide you access to my resources, and keep track of my stake in other.... Mutual interests.

And of course, we can make arrangements for other shared business ventures."

"First," you say, "I've got some questions for you. Tell me what you know about the Batman."

The Penguin's voice loses its joyful tone. "What do you want to know about HIM?"

"Anything."

He recovers. "You should know as much as I do. He's a big flying rat who always sticks his nose where it doesn't belong. I've tried tracking down who he is under the mask before, but I've always come up short..."

>what ask

>>42611404
>what ask
i'm taking another look at what i know about the bat, with a scientific mind you know to change up my way of thinking. so along those lines i'm interested in getting what the big players know about the bat and sort our the facts, lies, and the lies we can use

>>42611404
"Well then operation prank caller is a go untill we can think of anything better. What have you tried we might be able to compare notes in the future hash out a plan of sorts, maybe we can catch him in a trap knock him out and unmask him. Maybe nab that little girl he runs around with and unmask them, that might be easier to do and provide us with clues.

Are we just in white makeup or are we bleached like the real Joker?

>>42611580
Make up. Ooh we can pretend to play the victim of a kidnapping and hit him with some sleepy gas when he tries to save us.

>>42611629
>>42611580
He doesn't know what week look like and there is sure to be a missing person's alert out on us.

>>42611629
>implying bats wouldn't recognize us without makeup
Come on. I liked the V for Vendetta-esque "kidnap one (1) bunch o' dudes, make them look like joker, tie them up, have us not really be tied up, gas/acid the bat when he gets close."

>>42611629
I feel like we need to take the semi-literal plunge there. Brock Carter is over with.

>>42611404
Who does Batman associate himself with, if you know any do you know how to attract them? You know so we can set up a tap for him, maybe use myself as a hostage."

>>42611703
This could work well. It could also baxkfire horribly but so will any plan we come up with that messes with the bat.

>>42611730
He might not if instead of make up we use masks to cover the hostages faces.

>>42611823
Seconding this. Masks on everybody, otherwise bats will almost 100% recognize us

>>42611823
We'd also have to bleach our hair, so that it doesn't stand out.

Can we get Ivy's attention? Perhaps make some plants to produce Joker Venom?

Hell, I'd suggest we do it manually.

>>42612058
Ivy and Harly ate together and probably want jack shit to do with Joker. Their more liable to kill use then anything else. We can contact Professor Cole when we need more joker gass,I think we need a less lethal and more addicting verson we can sell on the streets as a new drug, we can call it smiley.

>>42612162
*are not ate although they probably do eat together and each other now ;^D

>>42612058
I would rather get in contact with clayface since he can turn into anyone, maybe another joker?

>>42612285
Clayface hates everyone. I'd rather not be suffocated by clayfaces ooze because he decides he doesn't like our face (or that he likes it too much)

>>42612325
Just try not to fall for the imoutus he leaves behind either

>>42611404

"I'm taking another look at what I know about the Batman," you say. "With a scientific mind, you know. I'm interested in knowing what the big players know about the Bat and sort out the facts and lies. And find out what we can use."

"Of course, of course..." says the old bird.

"What have you tried to do to catch the Bat before?"

"All his toys, his car... I've tried to track down manufacturers and purchasers. Pinned down some of the components once or twice, but the trail always goes cold."

"And who have you seen him with recently? Perhaps we can set up a trap. What about the girl? Robin?"

"WAARK WAARK WAARK!" laughs the man. "The BOY Wonder? My friend, your sense of humor is truly legendary! The Batman's little friend has been missing for a year now. Other than that, he works alone."

You sigh. "Is there ANYTHING useful you can tell me, Penguin?"

"All I can say, my friend, is to always watch the sky.

Now then, it's been a pleasure catching up, but I simply must be going. Goodbye, my friend. Good luck with your batcatching! WAARK WAARK WAARK!"

What what other Rogues gallery can we work with here that doesnt know the joker much? Mad Hatter? Riddler will be a pain in the ass

>>42612411
We could try The Hatter but that might trigger us. What with his Top Hat and all.

>>42612522
as long as we have a bigger hat when we meet him we should be ok

>>42612411
Is Killer Moth on the table?

>>42612325
Doesn't he hate Batman more, why not strike a deal and have a fail safe just in case Clayface ries anything funny?

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>>42612411
Fries is a possibility. Sionis, if he's alive here. Lawton is a possible hire, if Waller doesn't have him. Lynns is always good for a distraction, just give him something flammable. Jones is reliable muscle. Crane is one you might wanna tip-toe around, but he tends to be bat-obsessed, and he's failed to use his fear stuff against us so often he probably wouldn't try. Wesker's another possibility.

>>42612624
Hmmm I don't know he's more of a teen titian villain then a batman villain. Mr. Freeze might be willing if can supply him with semiprecious gemstones.

>>42612684
At his core he's a sort of dark mirror to Bats, using gadgets and kung fu to commit crimes while Bats uses gadgets and kung fu to prevent/punish them.

>>42612684
>>42612664
>>42612647
It's a shame we don't have a villain meetup group or facebook type thing, maybe we can pass the idea along to Lex he's good with techy stuff and he's one of the popular kids to boot.

So who are we closest to in attitude here? Nicholson's joker? Ledger? Hamill?

Or maybe I should ask in regards to the original one.

>>42612722
True but do you really want to responsible for introducing them to each other, what if the hit it off and Bats leaves us for his new gadget buddy. I don't know if we can handle the rejection if that happened.

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>>42612401

The Penguin hangs up.

"What was he after, Boss?" asks Dwayne.

"It seems he wants an alliance. Looks like Nightjar's gonna be with us for a while longer."

Dottie seems worried. "You know he's after something, right?"

"Of course," you say. "But we could use the resources. We've been spread thin recently."

As the three of you return to your base, you ask the pair a question. "Tell me, is there anyone else that we can rely on? Any other allies of the Joker that might be willing to help us? Even temporarily?"

"Old Boss didn't play well with others," says Dwayne. "I'll see what I can do, though. Maybe somebody got out of Arkham when we hit it. Problem with gettin' the major players in this town together is they're either gunnin' for you, or tryin' to keep out of sight. Probably not a good idea to go to any of the other gang bosses, of course."

"There's Clayface," you suggest. "He seemed to hate Batman. And he helped us once, in a way."

He shakes his head. "Once he's out we won't hear from him 'till he wants something. Guy can be anybody he wants. He's good at hiding."

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>>42612624
Killer Moth seems the most powerful villain in Gotham, we should swear fealty to him.

>>42609596
Like Bruce Wayne!

>>42612947
Fuck that he should be the one on our knob if anything.

>>42612900
We should turn ourselves in and see who will do us a favor for their freedom, have a escape plan of course.

I doubt a lower rank Gotham villain like us, the Joker, could even contend with the great and illustrious Killer Moth.

>>42612900
Well it's looking like the burn phone bat chat idea is the only thing we can do that's immediate. Anyone got any idea's about what we should talk to the bat about if we do this? We could start with talking about our parents thats all ways a good opener right?

>>42613046
"My father was a drinker, and a fiend..."

>>42613046
hey bats, what are you wearing?

the real question we are not asking is when is our next tv skit? so far this as been a hallmark of our time as joker

>>42612900

You return to your base. Some of the crew is hanging about inside.

"Well Boss, " says Dwayne. "Fore once, we're not down to the wire. Finances are in order, and only the regular suspects are after us."

Your friends sit down.

"Now we can sit back, relax, and actually plan ahead for our next crime."


You sit with your team, and get to work.


>what are we after for our next plan, Boss? What's our goal?
>how're we planning to do that?
>who are we going to get on that?

We should do something on this World Wide Web, it's hip, and we're hip, right? Maybe do something to those dumb guys on 4Chan.

>>42613075
"You should know, he mostly drank because you beat him, is it all right if I call you momma batty? I'm going to call you momma baty. Anyway he drank and drank until you killed him."

We should totally do the kid explosion collar thing that we talked about earlier in the thread.

>>42613132
I say we work on hitting up a bank, in broad daylight so the Bat isn't likely to show up.

If this quest lasts long enough, I kinda want us to make an ill-fated trip to Metropolis and find out just how easy we have it here in Gotham.

>>42613132
>what are we after for our next plan
high level i think our plan should be reducing confidence in to police and make people think the only safe place for them are the gangs

>>42613195
We could go after the police station, maybe start a big distraction somewhere else, then knock the building down like Jenga.

>>42613132
>what are we after for our next plan, Boss? What's our goal?
Bring the bats out and have a one and one chat!
>how're we planning to do that?
Gotham High, we're going to make the kids fight for us again, with what you ask? Bring in some bowtie collar explosives
>who are we going to get on that?
The Penguin and everyone else

>>42613132
"Dwayne, since im a bit behind get me the whose who locally and what they do. I know the big ones, but i dont know their Businesses, telle about the mobs, the triads, russians, what have you. Since i have the time i need to know what Joker would know, what You know. That way i cant slip and forget some alliance between some scilians and Mr Freeze instead of MS13 and Bane.
>Crash course of non-common knowledge things known more easily by those in the underworld.
>This can be a fade to black thing that just gives the MC meta knowledge we have but the average gothamite might not.

>>42613264
For the collar detonator we should use a burner that we call Bats on, and when he answers it, the bomb goes BOOM and it's all on him!

>>42613132
>Ask Nightjar if Max Shrader's got any dealings with Penguin. Don't want to ruin an allliance that quickly.

>>42613195
What you mean like bombing the town? We've played that card to often it's boring now, a broad daylight bank robbery would be fresh and new. We can leave bat a humble pie and the burner phone with a note saying we'll be in touch and to warn the police away from it say will go to war with them again if they don't make sure the phone and pie make it to batman. (The humble pie should be either black berry or raspberry flavored.)

>>42613192
>Supes shows up

>"Nice underwear, and I really like that hair, how DO you do it?"

>>42613132
>who are we going to get on that?
i'd like penguin to hit objectives of his own choosing while we are being loud and obnoxious

>>42613264
I thought we agreed to do this?

>>42613337
We should just get all the criminals we can and tell them the Batman will be distracted during all this. Chaos, beautiful chaos.

>>42613476
after a few times of this we should set up a online donation site, where if enough funds are received the city doesn't burn for another month

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>>42613691
And then we use the money to cause more chaos!

>>42613132
Batman themed night lights.
Their wiring is shoddy so that they're almost garaunteed to start a fire. We distribute these to charities under the name of whatever average citizens we can find that bat-man has become acquainted with.
Preferably these are distributed near a holiday. Orchestrate a thing with Penguin and maybe Calendar Man.
Run the Bat ragged. We make a tidy profit and by the end of it he'll be exhausted and slip up. Then we either capture or phone call.

>>42613691
>>42613742
We can also sell Joker Merchandise there, like plushies of the gang, music, posters, whoopie cushions, and chatter teeth, as well as make up kits, and our own comic based on our real life adventures (portraying us as the tragic hero.)

>>42613771
ok this is great

>>42613826
Bats can't stop us from making legitimate money.

>>42613132

You begin giving orders and working on a plan, as Dwayne and Spike see if they can track down anyone who might be willing to work with you.

"We need to destabilize the police, and drive down confidence," you say. "Eventually we can drive people straight to us. Holly's already got a head start on that for us anyway."

When Nightjar arrives, you ask her about Max Schrader. "I've got a contact who's after him, " you tell her, "but I want to know if Penguin has ties with him. Din't want to ruin our alliance." Later she confirms that while Penguin has some (wholly legitimate) dealings with the firm, he can pull out just before any potential shakeups in management. "Mister Cobblepot appreciates your cooperation," she says.

You give the men your big plan. One word:

"Merchandising."

>>42613742
>>42613771
>>42613826
>>42613880
We could even ask the other Gang leader's if they'd like to sell merchandise there as well. Also we can't forget Joker brand T-shirts and shoes.

>>42613826
one of the items is the" jokers guide to legitimate comedy " which becomes the bible for any up and coming comedians

>>42613948
Don't forget Joker's Guide to Illegitimate Comedy, which is basically the Anarchist Cookbook, but with more confetti.

All this talk about merchandising, you're starting to make me believe in the schwartz!

Hell, next you'll suggest we wear a fake nose that we replace with a bigger one each time we appear on teh TV with more money in our backlogs!

>>42613993
All the explosive components are replaced with either pie ingredients or confetti. When people make the bombs by the book, it'll make you a batch of pie filling or explode confetti into the air, making it a must have for people planning birthday parties

>>42613993
Hey! I'll have you know it's a best seller amongst bright new stars on the bleeding edge of bellyachers!

>>42613993
everything makes confetti, no matter what you make, or the materials you use its always confetti, scientists are baffled

>>42613916

"We set up a page for online donations. We can sell t-shirt, posters, mugs- the whole lot. Hell, we could even tie in with other gangs.

People love that kind of stuff. Like Che Guevara t-shirts. It'll be a fashion statement.

And I'd like some bow ties. Explosive ones. We pass them out to the schools, and then announce that they're explosive. And that we'll blow them unless we make a certain amount of money.

Even if Bats stops the bombs, we'll still get the donations. Just like with the Pageant."

>>42614107
>when confronted regarding how this was possible, The Joker merely shrugged and responded "Magic."

>>42614183
>It's confetti, I ain't gotta explain shit

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>>42614183
>tfw Joker is Joe Quesada

>>42614158
I thought we'll blow them up unless Batman shows up for a talk?

>>42614265
no the bomb is somewhere else in town, but the bowties are an explosive accessory good with any outfit

>>42614265
Yeah we need a way to give him his phone.

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>>42614307

>>42614307
I'm alright with not actually making them explosive. Well maybe explosive but not lethal. Like its a sparkler level firework or something. Or those things you throw on the ground and they a snapping sounds.

But the catch is after we get the money we say we're gonna blow them up anyway in 2 hours so whoever's wearing one will go nuts and think they're dying.

Might lead to some people saying fuck it and just doing whatever they want, then when the snapping things go off they realize they fucked themselves

>>42614359
>>42614265
>>42614158
Make it so the amount we want is weirdly specific 7 digit number. Bat's will figure out it's our burner phone number, give him a little credit.

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>>42614307

>>42614494
Make it a 10-digit number, for the area code. Plus it earns us more money.

>>42614494
>>42614521
This.

>>42614491
It should be the BANG! gun, but on a collar.

>>42614521
>I want $6,812,991,453 and not a cent more. CALL now, and place your bids, folks!

>>42614521
Also the number doesn't go directly to us, it goes to a henchman in another city who has a phone to call us on and when bats calls he just puts the phones in the 69 position so we can talk to bats through that.

He won't be able to track us that way

>>42614494
>>42614521
>>42614590
I approve of these

>>42614521
I was trying to make the sale goal reasonable. He should be able to figure out the area code.
Lead with >>42613170

>>42614590
You know, it would probably be more realistic to throw cents in there.

Doubt we'll make a billions of fucking dollars this way. With cents we'd be making tens of millions, which is far more reasonable.

>>42614582
Also yes. Maybe add in some funny noises like a kazoo or a noise maker

>>42614599
It should be several henchmen, one of them just being us using a falsetto.

>>42614590
It doesn't even have to be us asking for some numbers worth in billions. We could go for something like,

>All you gotta do to save your pretty little necks is make a small donation, and if we hit our total of $43,675,513.80 then all you fashionable kids in your little bow ties have them harmlessly fall off!

>>42614646
It should go off on "POP! Goes the weasel!"

>>42614652
You know what'd be funnier? Have the number jump around constantly, like we've forgotten just how much we're asking for.

>>42614710
The number is so he can call us on the burner phone we're leaving for him.

>>42614652
We should have holly do a story on the website to generate traffic, and get spike and the account to set up the bussiness and website end of things.

>>42614857
Wr should also copyright batmans bat motif and then drop it in conversation like thanking him for doing all this free advertising and good publicity.

>>42614158

"That... Well, that works." says Dwayne.

"What about your talk with the Bat?" asks Dottie. "You seemed dead-set on it this morning."

"It's still on. We deliver the phone when we deliver the bowties."

Spike seems intrigued by your marketing plan. "FINALLY something I can do besides scraping for info," he says. "Old Boss never wanted to do much online. Guess he saw it as impersonal."

"Of course, Spike. I want you setting up the website and donation platform. And we can call Holly to make some kind of angry report on us opening a storefront and commoditizing our criminal empire. Something about Gotham's values breaking down and the media making children idolize criminals or something."

"So how much money do we want for ransom on the bombs?" he asks.

"We make the donation amount the phone number for a phone of our own, and have someone travel to the next town over. When he gets the call, he calls us on another phone. That way neither of us will be traceable. Batman will feel safer if he thinks we can't trace him. And we can protect ourselves."

"But wait..." says Dwayne, "do you think we'll even be able to bring in all the ransom money? If it's a ten-digit number..."

"Of course not. We're going to set them off anyway, whether they make the money or not."

"I guess you're really settlin' into the role, eh Boss?" says Dottie with a grin. "Quite a jump from non-lethal gas to blowin' a buncha kids' heads off. People might think you're gettin' a taste for blood."

"They won't be REAL explosives, of course." you insist. "Just confetti. We get them worked up and scared, run away with the money, then set off the confetti bombs. But this way, when we set off them off, everyone will know we COULD have killed them if we wanted. And that'll be better than killing them outright."

"And what if Batman checks one of the bombs?" asks Dwayne.

>>42615027
maybe we should get the other famous members of the rouges gallery in on this, Ivy perfume, penguin brand umbrellas, mr freeze icemaker, with them getting the funds from their items of course

>>42615048
>"And what if Batman checks one of the bombs?" asks Dwayne.
we demonstrate a few real ones to begin with,. also the kids should have enough free time to themselfs to crazy with what they think is their last few hours of life

>>42615082
Of course. And bats will have to leave it be because otherwise we can make him out as a criminal for attacking a legitimate bussiness man. We should give Pengy a call and ask if he wants in on the ground floor of this or if he'd like to set up something like this of his own.

>>42615048
The real problem with this plan:

"What if someone just, ya know, takes the bowtie off?"

>>42615048
We could put actual bombs in there too.

>>42615188
On a dead man switch so if they remove them prematurely they really do go BOOM!

>>42615048
just to be sure this is a real quick in and out right? like we go in demo a live version of the bowtie so they think its real and are afraid to take it off, put them on all the kids. then say we are watching the entrances and that if anyone tries to help them all the bowties will go off. and then vacate the building.

>>42615186
Super adhesives applied to them.

They won't come off. Ever.

Coal, get in on this shit.

>>42615243
We could demonstrate it on a cop.

well we are still pretty early in our career but i think we are doing Mr J proud

We could have people "volunteer" their schools on the merchandising thing, putting a date and things. "If no one volunteers, no one gets hurt. But what if someone does? Volunteer your rivals today!"

>>42615048
we put real bombs in there too, so batman won't realize they're fake. because they're real.

>>42615337
as much as i like it in theory, i think its bad in practice as it gives the police and kids to much notice, they all would probably just stay home

>No one here has realized batman's image, likeness and persona are all public domain because: A. He's a high profile figure.
B: any legal claim against use of anything Bat-Man would mean revealing his secret identity and providing a DNA sample that is able to be matched with pre-existing evidence in order to make sure he's not just any loon in a mask.

>>42615564
Joker T Shirts supporting the Joker: Great

Batman T Shirts supporting the Joker: Priceless

>>42615587
the merchandise isn't going to publicly tied to us is it? it will probably be better if this is managed by a shell company

>>42615716
We'll have it in our old name, might as well make it useful to us.

>>42615048

"It doesn't matter. The chaos will have already started, and he's not one for public announcements anyway. We'll at least get SOME money, even if all the bowties get rounded-up."

"Alright Boss, this all sounds good, but I've got a question- How are we going to get the bow-ties ON the kids? And what're we gonna do if they take it off?

You had't thought of this.

"We start with young kids. Make them easy to snap on with a latch. At least a few kids will put them on for fun. And we make sure the latches won't come undone once they're latched.

But you're right, a lot of this gig depends on timing. We've got to get everything distributed, get everyone panicked, and get money rolling in before everyone finds out its a trick.

It's a mind game, guys."


Everyone begins preparing for your plan, ordering goods, preparing websites, and calling in favors. You call up Penguin to alert him to your upcoming business endeavor, and invite him in.

"While the offer is... Appreciated, it simply wouldn't do for me to attach myself to an operation celebrating our criminal endeavors. I've a reputation to uphold, m'boy. But I complement you on your newfound interest with business matters," says Penguin.


Over the next few days, the men show you some of the merchandise.

Dwayne comes to you several days later. "Spike checked out some of the prisoners that escaped Arkham. We got a guy who says he'd be willing to help.

Says he's a pro. A mercenary. And he says he's willing to work on the cheap."

"Get me in touch with him," you say.

The phone rings, and a nasally voice picks up.

"Hello?," says the voice.

"My men tell me you're looking for work. I might have something in mind."

"Two-hundred and fifty thousand upfront for a single gig, but I'm really lookin' for some more long-term employment," he says.

>what say

>>42616031
"What's your stance on makeup? It's sort of a prerequisite to a more long term employment. Free Dental to boot! Not a joke there, gotta keep those smiles shining in this business."

>>42616031
What's your skillset? I mean I'm sure I can fit you somewhere, but what is it you do, or like to do? You'll have extra duties of course but these are the things it pays to know.

>>42616031

"What's your stance on makeup? It's a prerequisite for long-term employment in this organization."

"No can do, chief." he says. "I got my own image. I'm a free agent."

You press on. "And your skillset? What can you offer us? I can't just hire you without knowing what you do."

"Oh, I got plenty to offer. Specialize in chemicals. Right up your alley, ay clown boy? You and me could bring this town to it's knees, I'm thinkin', if you had me behind you."

>what do you say?

>>42616383
Won't wear the digs?

Fuck this nig.

>>42616383
>what do you say?
hmm, might be good to have a trouble shooter on some of more complex upcoming jobs i have in mind, i'm not sure if i need you for my current one but i'll be in touch

>>42616383
How about a trial run just to see if he fits in.

>>42616383
>what do you say?

"Well, if you wanna work with us, you gotta have at least some sign that you're with us. Solidarity and all that, y'know? Even if it's temporary."

Also seconding >>42616432

>>42616432
This works for me

>>42616409
Seconding.

>>42616383
Hmmm we can offer you a tempary position, and we'll let you use us as a reference for your next gig. I know few guys and I can put in a good word for you if you're as good as you say you are. You're good with chemicals you say? Why not help use develope a non lethal highly addictive verson of our joker gas, we can split the proceeds if it's a hit on the market.

>>42616432
This seems like a good idea

>>42616432
This

>>42616498
All the kids are getting high on Giggles.

But isn't that more Cole's territory than this guys?

>>42616383
Supporting this:
>>42616432

have him fetch Max Schrader.

>>42616498
Not a bad plan, but maybe not the best idea right at the moment with what we spent the last couple days doing

>>42616498
We can disguise it as asthma inhalers.

>>42615587
Mr J's face when he comes back to town and sees people wearing batman and his face

>>42616546
... Isn't that the plot of Gotham City Impostors?

>>42616498
>Why not help use develope a non lethal highly addictive verson of our joker gas, we can split the proceeds if it's a hit on the market.

>letting everyone fuck with the J-gas

Just stop. We have Coal for that.

>>42616498
>>42616513
>>42616525
>>42616527
Side effects include mild hallucinations, light headedness, inability to frown, incontinence, loose bowels, diarrhea, and extreme paranoia.

>>42616546
>It's devolved into cliques, each side high on venom and slapping each other around.
The whole town's in on the action now!

>>42616383

"Tell you what," you say. "A trial run. Half up-front, and if it works out you get the rest. Maybe you could help us develop some chemicals. Maybe some kind of..."

"Whoa, there. Hang on chief. I'm chemical DISPERSAL. Not engineering. I belong on the front lines."

You think for a moment. "Maybe I do have a job for you. We're looking for a man to be delivered to us. Max Schrader. My men will wire you the details wit your pay.

You bring him to me, and we'll talk about something long-term."

"Hey, you're not gonna regret this, man!" Says the man excitedly. "With my help, you'll have this city in the palm of your hands in no time!"

He hangs up.

>>42616595
I feel like we should call it "Gut Buster"

>>42616633
I want to kill him already.

>>42616655
You'll laugh so hard you'll shit your pants!

>>42616673
Yes. Thank y-Dot! I was wrong! Get me my serious pop-gun!

>>42616708
>serious pop-gun!
still a flag gun like the other, but the flag says "serious"

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>>42616633

Satisfied, you continue working on the job. Holly orders the bow ties, and sends you some fetching designs for Joker merchandise from her in-house team. Your own men provide some designs of their own, which, while less professional, you find charming in their own ways.

Red begins developing the explosives and the clasps; some men beneath him manufacture the things in a small, sweaty building in the park.

In the next few days, you have a sample of the merchandise, several boxes of explosive bow-ties with radio receivers, and an online donations platform waiting to go live.

"Once we blow the bow-ties," you say, "the shop goes live. It'll be a great publicity stunt."
Samples are ordered under the name of a shell company. One of the boxes that arrives in the samples

>>42616655
overdosing on this would be horrifying. "My anus is bleeding! Oh the humanity, it wont stop! It's getting everywhere! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!"

>>42616854

are you suggesting the Joker manufacture Cosmic Brownie Shakes?

>>42616866
Yes.

>>42616866
That sounds like a really shitty idea. We'll save it for when we meet the mayor before he goes on TV.

Little question, do you guys think our Joker would go to Arkham or Blackgate?

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>>42616866
< If you're out of the loop

>>42616915
We're not actually insane so probably Blackgate.

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>>42616785

Tucked into the shipment of samples, however, is another, unlabeled box.

Opening it cautiously, you find large spot-light, roughly the size of a mid-sized box fan.

Emblazoned onto the lens is a strange symbol. None of your men are able to recognize it.


"I...guess it's like the Bat-Signal," suggests Dottie. "Think we've got a friend?"

"Yer damn right you have a friend!" you hear someone say.

A man comes down the stairs. "Job's done, man. Now I'm here for my pay."

A mask covers his face, and tubes cover his body. Behind him, he is leading an older balding man.

>>42616969
>Moth Signal

FUCK YEAR!

>>42616969
Gotham QM Best QM confirmed

Killer Moth 4 Lyfe

>>42616969

The balding man is filthy, smears covering his entire body. The masked man shoves the man to the ground in front of him.

He is of average height with an athletic build, and his suit is black rubber. A pair of guns hang at his belt, and a bright insignia emblazons his chest.

"What's the matter, guys? Not gonna thank me?"

>what do?!

>>42616969
First lets verify the goods, then if it's Maxy we make a call to are accountant inform him and get this straping young merc his money. "Say we never did catch your name, Oooh I like your digs by the way very chic, I love the cape it is supposed to look like moth wings, right?"

>>42617055
>what do?!

Pay the man his money.

>>42617059
Our* not are.

At some point we need to replace the bat signal light with a manic grin. So when we do our biggest awful deed they shine up and even the night sky is smiling.

>>42617119
Oh, noice.

Are you going to suggest flooding the air with purple or green smoke so it changes the backdrop from drab gray to a more festive Joker-esque color as well?

>>42617119
I love you. Alternatively replace with Moth signal to confuse them

>>42617201
>implying we won't look into fireworks to set the city on green and purple fire to change the backdrop

>>42617055

"First, we verify the goods. If it's him, then we talk."

"'Course it's him! Why would I lie to my partner?"

The men wipe some of the grime from the man and verify Max's identity with some photos. Short of a DNA test, they're able to confirm it is Max.

"Looks like everything checks out. Somebody get me Orson; tell him we've got his signing bonus." You turn to the man.

"Looks like you'll have your money. I take it you sent our little gift?"

The man blinks. "The...what?"

"The light," you say. "With the squiggle on it. You sent it?"

"Nah," says the man. "Sorry. But hey, looks like I'm on the payroll now, right?"


You slow him down.

"Now hang on. First I'm going to need a name. And an explanation of all...." you motion to him, indicating his costume, "...All...THIS."

The man, looks at you smugly, and takes his guns from his belt.

"Hail to the king baby!"

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>>42617242

"CONDIMENT KING!"

He spins his guns in his hands, and red and yellow liquid spatters all over the room.

>...
>wat do

>>42617260
QM DEFINITELY CONFIRMED BEST QM

>>42617260
>wat do

"I don't particularly relish this meeting, but you're better than most."

>>42617260
My fucking sides

>>42617260
Laugh hysterically "YOU! You, I like you're in come here and give your ol' uncle joker a hug!" OP is best troll.

>>42617260
Laugh

And laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh

So long it gets awkward

So long the guy doesn't know what to do

So long everyone else is standing around thinking "seriously?"

>>42617260
..you know what? I take it back, you'll fit right in. Though the color scheme might need a little work.
So! First order of business...clean that up CK.

>>42617260
I've never had an erection from laughter before.

You've slain me.

>>42617305
When he pisses us off we have to call him Cock King, especially in a crowded area so that others will think thats his name.

>>42617260
Who are we getting next, the Penny Pincher? Kite Man? (though Kite Man is pretty awesome, he punched Batman in the face. Twice.)

>>42617340
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

>>42617340
Kite Man with seasonal support from Calendar Man obviously.

>>42617362
Just to be clear, Were totally going to get Cole started on making Gut Buster right? Because we have to sell it on the street as the new hip drug of choice for club goers and young teens.

>>42617318
>Not Condom King

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>>42617416
>mfw Kite Man becomes the most dangerous crime boss of all time

>>42617436
Cock King cause he is all about that bukakke.

>>42617460
I feel like we'll need allies when Joker comes calling. Gotta keep SOMEONE on our side when it all crashes down.

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>>42617260

You laugh until your sides feel like they are going to burst.

"I know, right?!" He cocks his guns, and tries to look badass. "You're just thinkin' of all the hell we're gonna raise together,"

"I...haha, I...have to talk to my men about this."


You step into another room.


"We have to have him."

"No." says Knock.

"He looks ridiculous," says Dwayne.

"He kinda looks like Batman," says Spike.

"He's perfect." you say.

"But the colors..." Dwayne says, pleadingly.

"Condiment King."

"He just shoots mustard!" says Knock.

"CONDIMENT. KING."

"...I could see it," says Dot.


They won't change your mind. You have your heart set on him.


You return to the Condiment King, and shake his hand.

"Well then, my friend, it's decided. Welcome aboard, Condiment King. Let's RELISH this meeting!"

He gives you a big smile, and shakes your hand in return.

"So what's your real name, Condiment King? My men said they found you through the Arkham records."

"Mitchell," he says. "Mitchell Mayo."


"Oh my god," you hear Dottie say under her breath.


You nearly die trying to choke back your laughter.

>>42617588
Am I the only one who wants to create an army of F-list villains? Please tell me I'm not.

>>42617588
This is now the greatest quest in history

>>42617615
No anon, now it's a thing.

>>42617588
I'll have to come up with more condiment jokes

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>>42617588
>>42617260
>>42617242
You win, QM.

>>42617588
I laughed so hard my RA yelled at me. Goddamnit QM

>>42617588
"Mayo-r business be fruitful and we have a hot dog of a time." and other such puns

>>42617712
Well at least your not shitposting like the rest of them

>>42617588
>"He kinda looks like Batman," says Spike.
i'll laugh if this really does turn out to be batman in disguise. not that i'm not laughing now but you know

>>42616931
>>42616866
For the record I attempted to recreate these with a friend. It seems the real threat is in the amount and not the drink itself. My friend had a half glass, while I had two. He was fine, I was most certainly not.

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>>42617588

The Condiment King draws and spins his guns again, then deftly places them back into their holsters in one continuous motion.

Again your room is splattered with a spray of ketchup and mustard from the leaking nozzles of the guns.

"Word, partner. Gimme a call when somethin' goes down." He exits the room.

Knock tries to wipe some of the condiments from his shirt, but just rubs it in. "...If he's gonna keep spinnin' those things like that we're gonna have problems," he says.

Within the hour, Orson Weatherby, your meek little accountant, arrives at your base, and buzzes himself in using the button by the gate.

Dwayne heads to the gate, and leads him into the funhouse.

When he arrives, he is a trembling wreck. Everyone greets him with a loud "SURPRISE!"

Except, of course, his friend Max, who is tied to a chair and gagged in the center of the room.


"Just as we promised, Weatherby- your old Boss."

Weatherby looks like he might pass out. "Er, you okay pal?" you say.

"Oh, y...yes." He wipes his face with a handkerchief. "I just...ahem...clowns..." he trails off.


The man in the chair is now red faced and furious. He manages to spit the gag from his mouth.

"WEATHERBYYYYY!" He roars. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS TIME?!"

Little Orson Weatherby goes rigid, and his face turns red. He looks angry.

From behind, Dottie leans over the little man's shoulder. "Can I get you somethin', little guy?" she says with a smirk.

He sniffs, and tries to make himself taller. "No thank you miss. We won't be needing any refreshments." She looks confused. "That...wasn't what I..."


Unflinchingly, Orson walks up to the man in the chair...


>Max
>JUST WHAT HAS WEATHERBY GOTTEN ME INTO THIS TIME?!

>ORSON WEATHERBY
>...

>>42618019
>"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS TIME?!"
Max, ya dun fucked up.

>>42618019
Orson. Stab him with your ball point pen. It's the only way.

>>42618019
I fully expect a half-assed slap from Orson.

Then >>42618067
that.

>>42618019
>>ORSON WEATHERBY
Uhh... Tell him off? Maybe slap him

>>42618067
Right in the testicles like our self defence course taught "No means no! You can't have my purse!"

>>42618094
>Right in the testicles like our self defence course taught "No means no! You can't have my purse!"

"I DON'T KNOW YOU!"

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>>42618019

"WEATHERBY LET ME OUT OF HERE THIS IN..."

"No Mister Schrader!" He shouts. "You had me sent to jail for YOU! For a WHOLE YEAR! I lost my house! I can't even get a JOB now!"

He swallows, then shouts in the man's face.

"YOU...YOU ARE A BAD MANAGER!"

He hits the man in the stomach. The bound man grunts a bit, sort of.

Orson straightens his tie, breathing heavily. He regains his composure, and turns to you. Traces of sweat are still on his brow.

"Thank you Mister...Sir. I feel a lot better now."


>uh
>wat
>wat do

Are we going to have to teach Orson how to have a laugh?

>>42618109
Tell him that was a good punch, show him out. When he is out of earshot, let the crew take care of Max. He can't live, and Orson can't get his hands too dirty.

>>42618109
You, uh, you gonna be alright there Weathersby?

>>42618111
>>42618109
Teach Orson how to do it right or alternatively let Dottie show him. Then teach him to laugh menacingly. He has to have a propper laugh after all. Make sure to do it while explaining what you're doing like an instructional video.

>>42617950
Fix it.

If I get banned we're fugg'd

>>42618160
>"No no no, O-man! Put your body into it, like this!"

Uncle Joker indeed.

>>42618160
>>42618111
Guys, the man is like a sick puppy in a suit. We can't expect to get him to kill this guy. He had his emotional release, now let film us having ours.

>>42618200
No one is suggesting making him kill the man.

>>42618200
We can use him to showcase the bowties!

>>42618229
And Gut Buster at the same time! Two stones one bird!

>>42618229
Now THAT is an idea!

>>42618229
Ooh, I like that

Let Orson leave, he's just here for the money. The rest of the fun is for us.

>>42618109

"That was a... Good punch, Weatherby," you say, motioning quickly to Dwayne to gag the man again before he recovers from his daze. "You gonna...you gonna be alright, slugger?"

The small man has a satisfied smile for a moment, but quickly returns to a professional expression. "I'm sorry you boys had to see that. I guess I have a bit of a temper."

You take Orson under your arm, and walk him out. "Now Orson, there's one more thing I need from you if you're going to join this organization."

You look him in the eye. "I need to hear you laugh."

He smiles sheepishly, and gives you a laugh. A weak, shuddering laugh.

"C'mon, Orson!" You give him a gentle bump on the shoulder. "You can do better than that! Think back to how you socked it to Schroder in there! He'll be feeling that for days!"

The little man smiles broadly, and laughs again. It is exactly the same.

"...Attaboy, Orson." you say, trying your best to seem impressed. You send the little man on his way, with a spring in his step."

>>42618329
Oh my god he's adorable. Can we waifu the accountant?

>>42618358
No.

>>42618329
This man is too good for this world. We protect him like no other.

>>42618358
Man, it's gonna be great when he goes full psycho and tries to claw someone to death.

>>42618358
ORSON WEATHERBY FOR WAIFU 2015

>>42618358
No but we'd make an AWESOME wing man for him in clubs. We can hook a brotha up with a clown qt3.

Rolled 34 (1d100)

Rolling for percentage of chicks Orson picks up out of all in Gotham

You return to the funhouse, where your friends stand around the bound man, bewildered.

"...What do we do with him now?" asks Dwayne, scratching his head. You shrug. "We need a model for the bowties, I suppose."

Finally the day arrives. The bowties have been distributed, and reports are already coming in about children being unable to remove strange bowties they've thoughtlessly placed around their necks. One small box of the ties is "found" by the police, containing a modified version of the ties containing actual explosives, and a disposable cellphone. A bat is painted on the back in green.

A little after noon, Spike sends a transmission all across Gotham.

You are sitting in a recliner, wearing your suit, bowtie, and smoking a pipe. You turn to the camera. "Well hey there, Gotham! I heard you were all trying to take after your old Uncle Joker, so I sent out some gifts!"

You blow into the pipe. Bubbles come out.

"Just remember kids. You may look suave and stylish..." You straighten your tie, and give the camera a grin. "...But try not to let it go to your head like my friend here!"

The camera pans out, and another man comes into frame, tied to a second recliner. A clown mask covers his face, and a brightly colored bowtie is around his neck- identical to those all over Gotham. Suddenly, his head explodes in a fountain of gore.

You get up into the camera. "Go here," you say, pointing down. "JOKERS-CLOWNCARE.COM" appears at the bottom of the screen.

"If we don't raise this much..." You point upwards. The numbers "$45787586.80" appear at the top of the screen.

"...in THIS much time..." You hold out your hands. "04:00:00" appears in front of you, and the seconds begin counting down.

"...Then the children of Gotham get a nice haircut. Joker style. HA HA HA HA HA!"

The broadcast remains, counting down the time. As panicked donations are made, the monetary value on screen drops.

Gotham is in chaos.

>>42618786
Goodnight Qm, thanks for another amazing installment.

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>>42618786
>Mfw imagining these posts as panels in a comic book

>>42618786
First people try to take them off, but the clasps lock together permanently once closed. They try to cut the straps, but a cord of twisted wire runs through them, like a bicycle chain; bomb squads warn of tampering for fear of cutting a necessary wire and setting the thing off- the deadly dummy units sent to the police do exactly that. Only when blown does a secondary latch beneath the explosive release...Which is of little good to the children of Gotham.

Across the city, some people are able to damage the clasps enough to remove them, or cut them off, or simply cause the devices to detonate harmlessly. But information doesn't spread everywhere immediately. So much fear and disinformation is in the air that many of the people turn to the authority of the police- who have already been seeded with misleading information.

File: 1432671541001.png (31 KB, 500x375)

31 KB PNG

Excellent

As the hours pass, the money flows in. Gotham is thrown into fever pitch as their children's deaths grow ever closer.


Time's up.

BANG.

The shirt collars of hundreds of Gotham's children are blackened slightly, and a burst of confetti shoots from every bowtie. You've made laundry day a bit more difficult for mothers throughout the city.

You absolute madman.


You shut down the broadcast, and check the money you've brought in- not even close to your asking price.

"Cheapskates,"you grumble.


The phone you've left to sit on the table rings. You answer it, and your boy confirms it is him. He puts the two phones in his hands together, and answers the phone calling him.

"Hello...?" you say.

The sound quality from the makeshift relay is terrible, but you're still able to make out the voice on the other end. A deep voice answers you.


"Hello, Brock."
>wat do

>>42619152
Who?

>>42619152
>wat do

"I think you might have the wrong number, buddy."

>>42619152
"Brock? Ash for the last time no I don't want to help you catch Pokemon!"
But seriously,who's Brock? I don't remember the first thread but was our name Brock?

>>42619230

No, it was Shirley.

>>42619230
It is. Our name is Brock Carter.

>>42619193
>>42619230
We are Brock Carter.

>>42619152

"I think you've got a wrong number, pal," you say.

The voice is unfazed. "I recognized the area code in your broadcast immediately. I analyzed some of your explosives- both from the police, AND the schools- I knew you wouldn't be capable of slaughter at that scale.

I've been looking into you since we met last. You told me you were in college, and were taken from your apartment. All I had to do was look for a missing person who matched your description."


>uhhh

>>42619294
>uhhh

Clap sarcastically near the phone.

>>42619294

Mhmm
>let him continue

wait...why do we want to call the bats again?

>>42619294
>"What next? You gonna tell me my Mother's maiden name?"

>>42619349
>wait...why do we want to call the bats again?

Reread the thread.

>>42619294

"You're gonna tell me my mother's maiden name next, right?" you say.

"Baker."

"...Oh."

"Brock, you can quit any time you want. Turn yourself in now. Things are just going to spiral out of your control the longer you wait, and you've already hurt too many people to get off scot free."


>fffff.....

>>42619418
>"You know you had me up until the I won't get off scott free part.You really need to work on your negotiating skills."

>>42619418
>fffff.....

"In for a penny, in for a pound."

>>42619418
"Do you know how I became the Joker Batman?"

I say we tell him.

>>42619418
Are we alone with the phone?

If so " Look bats, the old joker is dead. I agree with you that i'm in over my head here, but If I "Turn myself In" as it were, Someone even worse will take the mantle. The original may even come back into the spot light, assuming you didn't do a thorough job killing him" See what his response is.

If not, Make a joke. Is what we do

>>42619418
We should ask him what happened to Robin.

>>42619467
>>42619482

mix of these

>>42619482
>inb4 spike have us recorded and taped

>>42619482
>>42619525

Or Batman himself records us, since the last time he showed up we spilled the beans, pretty much.

>>42619534

batman is most certainly recording this

>>42619418
I don't see myself walking out of here and doing that anytime soon.

>>42619418
>"You've already hurt too many people to get off scot free" eh?
>That apply to you too? I can't imagine you've never hurt anyone...actually, I know you have. Why else am I here instead?

>>42619418
Supporting
>>42619568

>>42619418

"You had me up until the 'not getting away scot free' thing," you say. "But in for a penny, in for a pound."

"Do you want to know how I became the Joker, Batman?" As you begin the story, you start walking out of the room. Some of your friends look at one another warily, but they do not stop you.

"Here's my whole, tragic backstory: A clown comes to my doorstep in the middle of the night, and tells me to open a box. Letter's inside telling me I inherit everything."

You step into your room, and lock the door.

"That's it, Bats. If I don't do it, they'd probably kill me. And if Joker's not dead, HE'LL kill me. If anyone else finds out I'm a fraud, I'm dead. Either way, then somebody worse would take over. I may be in over my head, but at least I can try to mitigate the damage."

"From what I've seen, I don't think your mitigating anything. You're acting erratically. You're scared. Besides, I don't believe in letting something go unpunished out of fear of something worse."

"You say I've hurt too many people, Batman, but how many people have YOU hurt? You're the reason I'm here!"

"Joker's the reason you're there, and you're doing exactly what he wants!"

>whaat doooo

>>42619610
>whaat doooo

"I'll humor you, Bats. Got anything in mind that doesn't land me 25 to life?"

>>42619610
Seems to me that its a simple difference of belief. You don't believe in letting someone go unpunished for something worse , and I can respect that. It's very admirable sentiment, but its not one that I share. I am going to take this gang the joker has forced on my by threat of death, and I'm going to play the system as best as I can reducing as much of the damage as possible. Because your right, I am scared. I'm scared of the real joker, I'm scared of what will happen to me If I misstep the line in the gang, but most of all....... I don't want to die.

I don't know why I even gave you that phone in the first place, maybe it was a call for help. But all you did was enforce the decisions I've made all along. Ill keep the phone.


Hang Up on him?

>>42619610
>Oh, of course. I'm the one at fault because I'm ultimately 'the bad guy'.
>Batman's never to blame because how could the hero do wrong?
>No one is above being a monster in this world, you and I both should know that all too well.

>>42619658
I like this speech but i want the last line to make our gang more like a family and threaten anyone who hurt them.

Then let the bats hang up, we should have the last laugh anyways

>>42619687
Makes Sense

>>42619610
"Look, I may not be able to stop everything. But I can stop the worst of it. Bread and circuses you know? But with a purpose. I'm going to make this world a little more chaotic, and cut down on the death toll. Try to minimize damage where I can. If I can make this city better at dealing with and fighting off the real deal after he comes for my head...all the better. Funny thing is, you're the only one that'll know. If I fail this is all pointless, and if I succeed the only person that knows won't appreciate it.
But what the hell, I'm an existentialist anyway."

>>42619610
>After we've said our piece.
I mean I'm trapped, but why do you do what you do? I mean. Really.

>>42619610

You think for a moment, then say quietly, "...is there anything that won't end with 25 to life?"

"I can't make promises, Brock. But I can say it will look better on you if you turn yourself in. This whole thing isn't your fault. You can end this whenever you want."

You shake off the thought.

"It seems we have a difference in beliefs here. You don't believe in letting someone go unpunished just because you're afraid of something worse. I can respect that. But that's not me.

I'm going to take the gang the Joker forced on me, and I'm going to play the system as best as I can. And I'm going to reduce as much of the damage as possible. Because your right, Batman. I am scared. I'm scared of the real Joker, I'm scared of what will happen to me if I misstep. And I'm afraid of dying. To me, that's worse than the alternative.

So while I'm here, these people are my family. And anybody that hurts them, I'm gonna hurt them back. And at the end of the day, I'm gonna be the one at fault, because I'm "the bad guy." But one thing I've learned while I've been here, Bats: this town's FULL of monsters. And you're one of them."

You sigh.

"I don't know why I gave you that phone anyway. Maybe I was trying to call for help. But I guess I didn't needed it after all."


There is a clatter on the other side of the line, and a grunt. You hear nothing on the other end for a bit, but then the voice speaks again from the other end- much clearer than before.

"You can't keep deluding yourself like this, Brock."

>what do?

>>42619797
did, did he just throw the phone? Use the actual phone we gave him instead of rerouting via the bat computer?

>>42619797
Maybe. Maybe not. But why do you do what you do? Really. Not Joker and the Bat-Man. Just me and...whoever you are.

>>42619687
Ooh, how about for the final line it goes something like:
>Y'know what the funniest part of this joke is?
>If you had come to me with this deal near the beginning, I'd have leapt on it.
>But now? I care more about the well-being of these people I was so afraid of than I do about what'll happen to me when I'm caught.
>Funny, right?

>>42619797
Hang up, he just had our guy knocked out!

>>42619820
he traced the phone call to the other guy

>>42619797
this
>>42619821
and end with this
"Maybe its too late.Thanks for the pep talk bats and go easy on the goons will ya. They're good kids."

>>42619838
Oh shit, we need to rap up this convo like ten minutes ago

>>42619797
Oh, no! That's our time for tonight Bats! Thanks for playing! And go easy on the goons. You wouldn't believe the insurance premiums I'm paying right now.
It's downright criminal.
>hang up.

>>42619797
"...Did you just knock out one of my gang after I explicitly claimed them to be family, and that I'd hurt anyone who hurt them?"

>>42619797

You hang up immediately. The Batman had traced the call, and reached your man. Any longer and you risk him tracing it back to you.

You run the conversation back over in your mind. It wasn't what you'd expected. You hoped to get information from the Batman- something you could use to protect yourself.

Instead you spilled your guts to him, and found out he knows everything about you.

If you ever could've returned to your old life, that time is over now. Brock is as good as dead.

A shred of you hopes the Batman keeps your secret. He knows you'll be killed if the gangs find out about you, but you have no idea if he would care. He could be rid of you easily now.

You feel sick.

>>42619797
"Hey, can we just not fight, we're selling t-shirts now the theme is joker and batman. . . You anyalized me so it's only fair I give you the same. You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you're probably some trust fund kid witg more money than sense buying gizmos and gadgets to beat up people who are just as much as victims of society as a society that they live in is victims of them. You perpetuate the violence. . . you make it worse. I don't really know who you are, but I bet I'm close enough that it hurts. Psychology major remember?"

>>42619911

Roll 1d2

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>42619923

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>42619923
oh shit