>>42032475
If you guys would like we can pick up from last thread, or just skip to the end of that turn.

bumpo

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>42032475

See if there is any fallout from the Megaton we just pulled.

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DROZEN STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 9751
>Population Growth 883
GROK STATS
>Population (Minotaurs) 6101
>Population Growth 218
GORRIC STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 930
>Population Growth 243
>Population (Human) 806
>Population Growth 145
ALAGAR STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 2963
>Population Growth 48
>Population (Human) 3108
>Population Growth 48
SECRET OUTPOST STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 7350
>Population Growth 25
>Population (Human) 680
>Population Growth 25
HEVOK STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 480
>Population Growth 125
>Population (Human [Free]) 409
>Population Growth -132

>>42032620
>A1: Fallout
>30: Failure!

A thick, slimy, magical residue appears to have started growing (more or less) in the affected areas. Its colors range from a vibrant pink to a sickly green, and those in direct contact with the substance later exhibit extreme nausea, migraines, and other less than pleasant ailments.

Rolled 15 (1d100)

Fun. Well I'm just gonna ignore that and try to fix the baby makin' problem in Hevok

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>>42032701
Slightly fucked the Mino stat in Hevok, it should be -25 GPT.
>>42032733

>A2: Babies
>15: Complete failure!

It appears that the fallout travels on wind, as many citizens of Hevok have shown signs of the sickness despite being hundreds of kilometers away from the blast zone. On top of this, the substance has begun to grow in the cracks and crevices of the village, and it seems that people are having a much harder time getting pregnant. Oh, and hundreds of people seem to be dying for no reason whatsoever.

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>42032794
Was hoping you wouldn't notice that. Find something remotely positive about the goop.

Thread's gonna die. Calling it now.

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>>42032837

>A3: Optimism
>62: Success!

Out of all the shit that's gone down, it can at least be said that this magic shit tastes amazing. When consumed, it seems to have no directly ill affects. That isn't to say it isn't dangerous to harvest it though, as direct contact leads to severe burns in the contacted area and, if not treated promptly, necrosis. On the upside, it tastes a bit like coffee.

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>42032916

Prohibit people from eating that.

I'm just gonna wait for other people to get here before continuing

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>>42032944

>A4: Stop that
>81: Great success!

Catherine, realizing how bad of an idea it is to try and eat the shit that came out of a nuclear blast, enacts an ordinance to kindly stop eating the magic stuff growing out of corners of the city. This leads to some disgruntled addicts, but besides that people have ceased to consume it.

>>42033029
>R- Study that shit

>>42033183
Holy shit another person

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>42033183

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>>42033204

>R1: Study that shit
>46+15=61: Success!

When the proper people are called in (i.e. those in Hazmat suits with 39 and a half foot poles), samples of the strange substance are brought into the labs for further study. What the scientists find is absolutely extraordinary! Upon hardening, the substance turns a gleaming teal blue, and it is found to be impossible to break with anything besides other shards of the material! To add to this, the material has a ridiculously high melting point, with the material needed to make a single ingot taking up roughly 1/10th a vein of coal or 50 logs of wood.

>Adamantium discovered!

There are also reports of a flashing portal moving through the ruins of the nuked areas, shocking any who come near with roughly 20,000 volts worth of electricity.

research some kind of radaway

>>42033354

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>>42033375

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>42033375

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>>42033398

>R2: Radaway
>43+15=58: Average!

While useful, the Adamantine plasma has proven to do more harm than good, and several have begun to try and work on a cure for the afflicted. Unfortunately, they can do little more than make the poor souls comfortable as they go into the night. On the plus side, it does seems to have negated at least some of stagnating growth caused by the fallout. At least, in the lesser populated cities.

>+50 Growth everywhere but Drozen!

>>42033306
dice+1d100
Try to harvest portions of that shit to make tools and/or weapons. We get a market on that, our coffers will be so fuckin' FULL.

Also, nice Grinch reference.

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>42033519
Fuck, sorry I don't roll much.

Lemme try that again.

>>42033550
All hail this Anon.

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>>42033519
Thank you, it was my favorite story as a small child.

>A5: Harvest
>96: Amazing success!

Now, when I say that the Adamantine is growing in the corners of the city, I mean it's like someone took the entirety of the American Midwest, miniaturized it down to about 30 square feet, and made it grow magic metal at an astonishing rate. As such, it's relatively easy to grab the largest puddles of it and solidify it into useful shapes, like blades, hammer heads, axe heads, more blades, and the like. Making Adamantine armor later shows that, despite earlier claims, Adamantine can be broken if hit in a very specific pressure point. Fortunately, this is typically found in an out of the way place, such as the side of a leg plate.

>Adamantine tools invented!
>Adamantine weapons invented!
>Adamantine armor invented!

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>42033484
hmm; take a few test subjects from Drozen and test/research artificial fertilization

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>>42033669

>R3: Artificial Fertilization
>29+15=43: Average!

Insemination is a strange thing to your people, considering how all children are conceived in massive drug fueled orgies, with multiple partners per person. Direct results of this include having an almost complete lack of understanding of how to fertilize a woman outside of direct sex, and jacking off into a cup then trying to shove it tends to end...poorly, to say the least. No real progress is made.

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>42033779
aha! research how children are conceived

>>42033837
well fuck

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>>42033837

>R4: How make babies
>2: Catastrophic failure!

Now, while doing the shoving experiments, some of the scientists got more than a bit excited. This lead to many, many, many, MANY, orgies in the labs. Following this, numerous beakers and hazardous materials were spilled. Naturally, several people ended up splashing around in the puddles. Later that evening, several reported feeling rather under the weather and having a horrendous itch down there.

>Herpes invented!
>Clap invented!
>AIDS invented!

>-20 growth worldwide!

Also, I can do multiple actions/techs per post, so don't be afraid to give your action while I'm typing.

>>42033837
Dammit, Dexter!

Now we have to invent industrial sized condoms.

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>>42033604

>>42034012
No worries mate

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>42033940
I am gonna need that one Einstein guy that invents cures for these STD's; especially AIDS, so lets research

>>42034038
Only 4 techs per turn.

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>42033940
Alright, let's try to counteract this by developing condoms for our well endowed bovine schlongs.

>>42034071
>>42034093
Ooops sorry, was a bit quick on the draw.

>>42034093

>>42034038
>>42034121
No worries, you guys can do one of these in Cuth or both next turn.

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>42033940
so ... quarantine the infected

>>42034139
I am fine with both next turn

>>42034186
Same here

Hello!
Not sure how long I will stay, I have to sleep and wake up in 5 hours, but hey! Mino Thread!

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>>42034162

>A6: Quarantine
>81: Great success!

It's quite easy to to pick out who is infected, as roughly 90% of their day is spent with their hands down their front clothes scratching. They're all shoved off into the northeast corner of the city, with armed guards constantly patrolling, making sure no one gets in or out. This has led to the birth rate recovering, as most people didn't even know there was a disease in the first place.

>>42034227
Sounds like fun, thank you for coming!

William is still over with the Lizardfolk, we need to do something about that.

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>42034269
Agreed
rolling

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>>42034331
Oh, that's not good.

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>42034331
REROLL PLOX

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>>42034331

>A7: William
>19: Complete failure!

>"I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE 1827 TIMES, AND I WILL TELL YOU AGAIN!"

>"NO! YOU MAY NOT LEAVE THE GODDAMN CITY!"

This same guard that has put up with William's shit for the past several months is getting rather pissed with him. As such, he and the crew have all been placed under house arrest within the Royal...Palace? It's much more of a hut really. Granted the underground portion is much larger, but dear God it's the place of a queen! They could afford some kind of flair or something along those lines...

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>A8
Get the Witchers to find and, if they can, kill the rest of the White Beast

>Bringing them back baby

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>42034457
FUCKIN SEND SOMEONE OVER TO RETRIEVE HIM!

>>42034538
CANCEL THIS
PLEASE NO

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>42034538
Oooh boy, I don't like that.

>>42034457
Right, let's do a quick audit of the military. At this rate we may need it soon.

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>>42034530

>A8: Witchers
>96: Amazing success!

Now, the average day at the Witchers HQ goes something like this:

>1 P.M.: Wake up
>1:30 P.M.: Finish pissing
>2:00 P.M.: Drink and train
>9:00 P.M.: Finish drinking
>9:15 P.M.: Go out hunting
>3:00 A.M.: Return home with White Beast corpses
>6:00 A.M. Finish partying

Rinse and repeat.

>You have driven the White Beasts to Extinction!

CUTH STATS
>Population (Minotaurs) 1115
>Population Growth 260
>Population (Awaken) 250
>Population Growth 20
>Population (Human) 1115
>Population Growth 280
>Population (Dwarf) 819
>Population Growth 265

Two actions and a tech please!

>>42034676
Let's do a military audit. Let's see how bad the nuke screwed with our military structure.

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>42034759
What the-

Hang on, my roll didn't come through for some reason.

>>42034759
the bomb would not have effected Cuth, which is across the sea
Lets do that next Mainland Turn

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>>42034668

>A1: Military
>11+5=16: Complete failure!

Cuth is a tiny village, so having over 5,000 soldiers in it really doesn't help official records. In fact, it acts as a massive detriment. It's honestly a miracle the place hasn't succumbed to famine. Milomir himself has a fairly batshit crazy time trying to keep everyone in line, and as such, the military is now more or less a massive mob of hungry bastards.

>-10 to Military rolls for the rest of this thread.

To add to this, Drozen's recent self-nuking has made the chain of command more or less become a thin string trying to hold together tectonic plates. Only within the city walls does Catherine have direct control over the military, and it's up to officers to try and keep their men and line outside.

>>42034776

This simply won't do. Catherine, still weary from the recent births, heads out PERSONALLY to whip the army into shape. Any who question her rule are immediately punished with extreme prejudice. This soon leads to the military falling back into line. For the most part.

>>42034538

>A2: Retrieval force
>2: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now, a single crewmember had managed to send a small bottle with a message inside while the ship was going down. It read:

>We are along the southern continent, please come retrieve us.

Naturally, they sent over 1/5th of their main force. This force was subsequently swept into the ocean by a massive hurricane. Fortunately, they died quickly.

>-1000 soldiers in Cuth!

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>42034676
research wireless communication

>>42034818
>100
>HOLY SHIT

noice

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>>42034818
OH MY GOD~!

>>42034818
I think the Minotaurs just invented radio, and are well on their way to finding the internet.

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>>42034818

>R1: Wireless communication
>100: Holy fucking shit

While fucking around in the labs one day, a senior scientist is meddling with a few strands of copper wires and Sleep. Suddenly an idea pops into his head. He makes a crude dial system out of wood and other metals, forming a small box that allows him to arrange the copper and Sleep wires in such a way that they turn with the dials, and (after some experimentation), he creates a small speaker. Putting the whole thing together and shoving a battery inside, he finds that he is able to listen in on conversations carried through the air! And he hears, among other things:

>Slimes
>Texan humans
>Machines
>Wood Elves
>Dueregar
>Dark Folk
>Derhii
>Catfolk

Figuring he should have some way of communicating with these (mostly new) peoples, he throws a few more bits of wire and metal together to make a crude microphone!

>Radios invented!
>Microphones invented!

>>42035022
Nice!

DROZEN STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 10364
>Population Growth 883
GROK STATS
>Population (Minotaurs) 6369
>Population Growth 268
GORRIC STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 1233
>Population Growth 293
>Population (Human) 1001
>Population Growth 195
ALAGAR STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 3063
>Population Growth 98
>Population (Human) 3216
>Population Growth 98
SECRET OUTPOST STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 7425
>Population Growth 75
>Population (Human) 755
>Population Growth 75
HEVOK STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 405
>Population Growth -75
>Population (Human [Free]) 328
>Population Growth -82

Eight actions and four techs please!

>>42035022
great!

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>>42035161

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>42034038
this now

>>42035190
> Mommy, Can we keep him?
>Why?
>He has high rolls

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>>42035190

>R1: Cure for AIDS
>86+15=101: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

While the poor bastards and bitches have been locked away in the Quarantined zone, many of the physicians have been hard at work trying to cure these new diseases. One of the most blatantly obvious cures is "DON'T HAVE SEX YOU DUMB FUCKERS." Sadly, this does not reach many ears. However, an alternative is found. Copper and other valuable metals are soon found to have properties that act as a repellent to the disease, causing those to be infected be clean within several weeks of the first dosage. Of course, they still need to be injected every couple of months, but hey, it's something! This cure also works on the previously mentioned STDs.

>Money cures AIDS!

>>42035306
I love South Park.

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>42035306
okay; let's now try to research our reproductive biology

>>42035459
fuck yeah!!

>>42035459
so keeping you
I'm chaining you to a radiator with a computer near it

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I will have to go in about an hour. I've got a D&D game to DM tomorrow.

>>42035459

>R2: Reproduction
>92+15=107: RNGESUS

The basics of sex are well known to your people. Penis goes into vagina, bowchicawowow, climax, 9 months later baby! Now, it's well understood you shouldn't fuck the person who gave birth to you, or anyone who came out of that gaping hole for that matter. However, upon closer (and I mean that) inspection, it's found that:

>A)
Minotaur sperm is capable of fertilizing any humanoid with warm blood.

and

>B)
Minotaur women have evolved over time to be able to have multiple eggs in the womb at once, allowing multiple fathers for any given child.

It took quite a long time to get this accomplished, though all of the researchers involved were more than satisfied.

I'm off now
need to wake up in 4 hours
night!

If Port was here we could try and seduce the Lizard Queen

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>42035560
do research about minotaur reproduction with human females; put an emphasis on the human surviving penetration and birth
(I probably can't keep the roles that high)

>>42035644
Night!

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>>42035686

>R3: Bowchicawowow
>10: Complete failure!

>"Half breeds have been around since your kind first met the humans. Now, obviously there's always issues when it comes to size and keeping the poor woman alive while breeding, but with recent techniques they may...Oh nope, she's dead. Let's try this again!"

This is more or less the entirety of the research done on this subject in a nutshell, with human volunteers subjecting themselves to extreme amounts of sweet sweet pain to try and improve survivability. At least they enjoyed their final hours.

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>42035804
Let's try this again

also I have no idea where the heroes are and what they are doing can someone tell me

>>42035804

>R4: Let's try this again.
>14+15=29: Below average failure!

See >>42035804, then multiply the fatalities by 30. Or just call /d/

>>42035907
Catherine is currently ruling in Drozen. Milomir is over in Cuth trying to prevent a riot. Tsunami and Roldana are in Hevok doing F.A., and William and Sophie are in the Lizardfolk city under house arrest, with an Amazon prisoner as well.

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>42035938
try to open an embassy in the lizardfolk city

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>>42036019

>A1: Embassy
>78: Above average success!

William and his crew have spent so much time locked up in the Royal Hut they've converted their quarters into an impromptu embassy, with the Dwarves of the crew having dug a secret tunnel all the way back to Gorric and covering it up with a rug. Somehow the guards have not noticed. Seriously, it's a massive fucking hole with a mag rail and Minotaurs and they still have not found it. They seem a bit dense.

>Embassy established in the Lizardfolk city!

Just a warning, I've half an hour left.

Rolled 71 (1d100)

use the tunnel to get some lawyer types in and try to resolve the house arrest matter diplomatically

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>>42036177

>A2: I NEED A LAWYER
>71: Above average success!

Now, of the many people to come through the tunnel and be unnoticed, the lawyers were one of those who weren't. They made their presence well known, and would spend hours on end arranging a trial for William and co. to leave the city without causing a scene.

The trial day came, and it went something like this.

>"Blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla"

At least, from what William could understand of it. He never was good with books.

>William and the crew are now free to leave the city!

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>42036275
send William to the research facility to help recruit human volunteers

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>42036275
establish a more permanent embassy and start formal diplomatic relations

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>42036353
Supporting this. Our numbers have taken a massive blow.

>>42036395
nice roll!

>>42036395
... Huh, guess there'll be more science a la putang.

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>>42036353

>A3: I need you to fuck this Minotaur FOR SCIENCE!
>31: Failure!

The mag-lev ride back is a bit depressing. The men and women had had such high hopes to go out and explore the world. Now they're right back where they started. And now Catherine's ordering him to drum up recruitment for scientific experiments. William isn't really feeling it, especially considering how there's no shortage already.

>>42036370
>A4: Embassy
>53: Average!

After everyone picked up their shit and moved out of the basement, diplomats went to work more or less separating the basement from the building, shifting it over, then digging it back up again. The reptiles were none too pleased with this, though they tolerated it for fear of war. The Wood Elves also seemed perplexed by your kind, though maintained a respectful distance.

>>42036395
Would you like to save this roll? Once an action/tech is rolled I do not permit rerolls (unless I feel generous that day)

>>42036493
In regards to this
>>42036353

Yes please.

Direct this effort towards plotting a new route for the explorers to attempt meeting our new radio buddies.

The Texan humans seem like a good place to start.

10 more minutes

>>42036585
>>42036585
Wait, fuck I thought I clicked on this.
>>42036395

I'm really of my damn game today. Just had a great breakfast, too.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

try establishing trade with the reptiles and wood elves

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>>42036585

>A5: Radio buddies!
>99: Amazing success!

The Texan Human signals appeared to be the closest, and (seeing as how you lot had already met them) it is decided to try and further relations via radio. On top of this, an exploration team is sent out to map their lands. Over radio, the conversation is as follows:

>"Hello? Testing testing, 1 2 3."
>"Howdy, mind if I ask yer name pardner?"
>"Ah, humans! My name is *redacted*, you have radio as well?"
>"We've had it since the boys up in the Highlands figured out how to make steel. Head on over and we'll how you 'round! I'm sure the Queen'd love to meet you. Sheriff too I reckon."

The rest is idle chit chat.

Would you like to send a hero along with the expedition? The only two available are William and Catherine

Rolled 10 (1d100)

send William

>>42036695
Hrmn... Let's try sending Cathy this time. William could use some R&R after the Wood Elves Fiasco.

(Hopin' I don't botch it)

>>42036773
Catherine was sent the first time we met these guys. Plus she recently gave birth/.

>>42036798
Oh yeah, there was that. And she kept a large portion of our military in line. Will would probably be our best choice then.

>>42036833
Or we could send both, get them both imprisoned.

I guess we'll have to find out next time

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>>42036671
>A6: Trade
>11: Complete failure!

>"...............................What is trade?"

This is the response you are given by both the Wood Elves and the Reptiles. They seem to have a very different mindset then you when it comes to currency and gain. Whereas your people always look to gain, they're content where they are and what not. It doesn't seem like you'll be getting anywhere soon with them.

>A7: Expedition P2
>10: Complete failure!

Trekking across the vast desert and mesas, William's expedition soon made it to the previously discovered town and were met with a small gathering of townsfolk...Wait, why are they holding guns? A loud, angry feminine voice was heard.

>"STEP AWAY FROM THE HUMANS YOU FILTHY DEVILS!"

Several loud gunshots were heard, and a woman in full sheriff garb stepped out. Her eyes were a blue similar to William's own, though hers more matched the clear open skies then the ice. Hair wise it was about as red as your average Lady Bug, and she looked more than a bit pissed as William got a better view of her.

>"OI! KNOCK T'AHT SHIT RRIGHT OFF! WE'RE 'ERE FER TAH MINOTAURS!"

Her eyes get a look of confusion, then she resumes.

>"DROP YOUR WEAPONS OR BE SHOT!"

William complies, though his Minotaur friends cannot comprehend her accent. They soon lie dead on the sands, their blood matching the red-orange sky above their heads.

>"Now, git on in 'ere and have yourself a drink!"

William hears this and is soon led into a building marked "Saloon" by the red-head, still a bit in shock from what just happened.

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>>42036956
Right, good thread boys! Hope to see you guys next time!

Questions/Comments/Concerns/Criticisms?

TENTATIVE SCHEDULE
5:30 P.M. EST 9/29/15
5:30 P.M. EST 10/5/15

>>42036956
What the hell just happened?

>>42037023
Well, everyone who wasn't human got shot by 10 repeating rifles. William is currently the only member of the expedition still alive because you guys didn't roll a 1.

>>42037067
God dammit, we need better diplomancers.

Ah well, there's always next thread.