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Welcome back. If you haven't already seen, this quest now has a Twitter page: https://twitter.com/AssimilatorDave

Thread Theme: Incompetech - Metaphysik

--------------------------------------------------------------

Current Time: 11:49AM - Friday, December 11th, 2015

Locations:
>Kevin/Rachel - West of Disney's Animal Kingdom Park, Hiding until Dark (Status: Disengaged, Standby)
>Jordan - Destroyed (Status: Previously Engaged, Nonoperable.)
>Thomas/David(A) - On the Run, South-West of Disney (Status: Disengaged, Running)
>Reed/Dan - Southchase Industrial Park (Status: Disengaged, Investigating)

You're focused on Reed and Dan. They're in a warehouse in one of Orlando's industrial parks. After checking the manifest and schedule you know that you have three days until anyone will be here again, and that the warehouse is full of Nabisco products. There's enough space here to grow, if you want.

[A]: Set up Spore Tower here
[B]: Search for another warehouse
[C]: Search for another type of structure
[D]: (Write in)
>>
>>42014204
>B search for another warehouse
Unless we can use cookie biomass, if we can then my vote is
>A
>>
>>42014204
[A]: Set up Spore Tower here
Can we mutate the spores to be transparent so that nobody knows the place is infected?

(Also, I will be leaving in a little bit so I may or may not have an internet connection on my phone.)
>>
>>42014204
[A]: Set up Spore Tower here

>>42014239
I think that would depend on the concentration of spores, and how big they are. ultimately fine particles in the air are going to be noticeable past a certain concentration
>>
>>42014231
It's organic material of course we can convert it to biomass, dude. We're converting fucking exhaust from earth into biomass why wouldn't we be able to make cookie monsters?
>>
>>42014277
Well, I'd rather have a low concentration which might result in less infected than a high concentration that will get us discovered.
>>
>>42014239
>can we mutate the spores to be transparent so that nobody knows the place is infected

I mean, you chose the option that turns a human being into a roughly 12' tall tower that will continually spew out spores of ourselves to convert the local area into a more beneficial atmosphere/biosphere.

I'm gonna say 'no'
>>
>>42014204
>[D]: (Write in)
Idea: Develop Philosophy, specifically Existentialism
>>
>>42014305
Oh right, thanks. Also adding a name now. Was T lasts thread.
>>
>>42014231
>>42014305
>Become cookie monster

Can we maybe leave a care package in some faucets or on the underside of some door handles? Because then I'd say do that and look for another warehouse.
>>
>>42014332
Alright. Well, are there trees that are directly outside the warehouse that we could semi-conceal the tower in or something? I'm trying to think of the most covert way that will get the most people infected.
>>
>>42014356
How about no

>>42014373
It's a warehouse in the middle of an industrial park in the middle of one of Florida's largest cities. There are no trees, just other warehouses and office buildings and manufacturing plants.

There's no 'concealing' this thing it's 12' tall and it is definitely alien in nature. The best chance of hiding it once you put it somewhere is corrupting everyone that sees it.
>>
>>42014422
Can we put it inside one of the biggest boxes? Also if we take all of the cookies and convert them to cookiemass how tall would the tower be?
>>
>>42014422
Alright. Sorry if these are mundane or stupid questions. Just trying to clarify things.

Set Dan up as a spore tower and have Reed infect the cookie crates so that when the workers come, they get infected and then help us ship the crates out.
>>
>>42014458
How would we infect the cookies without it being obvious?
>>
>>42014490
We infected tuna earlier and it wasn't obvious. I'm sure we can do the same with cookies.
>>
>>42014447
>can we put inside one of the biggest boxes
Do you not know what 12' looks like?

The tower will be 12' tall regardless of what we do. The base of it is a human being. It will be 12' tall unless we add more human beings.

>>42014458
When the workers come they're going to be infected as soon as they open the door. Why would they be eating the cookies?
>>
>>42014506
>We infected tuna earlier and it wasn't obvious

Extremely different scenario. We're an organic creature that piggybacks off other being's DNA and can repurpose or hide in just about anything organic.

What does Tuna have that cookies do not?

I'll give you a hint, it isn't chocolate chips.

It's DNA
>>
>>42014517
The cookies aren't infected to infect the workers, they are to infect whoever eats the cookies after we ship them out across the country.
>>
>>42014517
Sorry. Okay. Infect cookies, and use every remaining cookie to add to the tower. Give the tower blue fur and a big comical mouth.
>>
So, there is still one problem with infecting all the cookies, this is a warehouse, theyre all packaged, we would have to open each package, sprinkle it with spores, and then seal it again with no-one noticing.
>>
>>42014546
>>42014547
>>42014580
The cookies cannot be infected. There is nothing for us to piggyback ourself off of like in tuna. No DNA, no tissue, no flesh.

Our spores would be noticeable on the cookies, and our actual body material is a thick black liquid like substance. Any infection of the cookies, assuming we could somehow open and then reseal the packaging so that no one in the supply chain between warehouse to consumer would notice, would be instantly noticed as "something not right" when they looked at the cookies.

Quit hyperanalysing the cookies guys I put y'all in a cookie warehouse to help give you mass for the tower not for you to try and figure out some obscene way to get more people to eat you. Fucking vore fetishists lol
>>
>>42014646
lol fine just use the cookies to build the tower. Don't have a vore fetish, just a fetish for dominating the world.
>>
>>42014646
ah, no, when I brought up putting spores on the cookies I meant that, we would have a visibly tampered with product, packaging or otherwise.
>>
>>42014715
That's one of two problems with infecting the cookies, yes. The other problem is any infection of the cookies would immediately be noticed because, last time I checked, cookies aren't covered in fungus or have black liquid on them.
>>
>>42014737
nonsense, clearly you only eat boring cookies!
>>
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>>42014737
>last time I checked, cookies aren't covered in fungus or have black liquid on them
People eat these things, so I'm sure they wouldn't mind cookies with a little bit of fungus or goo.
>>
>>42014778
My favorite cookies are snickerdoodles don't you fuckin dare try talkin' shit about sum snickerdoodles muhfukka

>>42014837
>oatmeal raisin

Jesus and I thought I was the evil alien here.
>>
>>42014879
I always found it sad that one dried up piece of pure, unadulterated shit fruit can turn a small piece of joy into sadness and disgust.
>>
>>42014879
>Research ability: Raisin Mimicry.
>>
Ok so what are we doing? Setting up the spore tower or...?
>>
>>42015043
Spore tower
>>
>>42015053
This.
>>
>>42015043
I think spore tower was the plan.
>>
>Spore Tower

You march Dan to the middle of the warehouse and start to root him. It's a little hard with this weird rock stuff that humans like building on, but as you twist and contort Dan's legs to create root tendrils you manage to break through the "concrete". As you burrow his root tendrils further into the ground, you have Reed begin opening boxes of cookies. You find several kinds, with different labels. You've never had cookies before.

[A]: Oreos
[B]: Chips Ahoy!
[C]: Fig Newtons
[D]: Teddy Grahams

As you sort through the cookies with Reed, you continue to distort Dan. You begin expanding his spinal column, adding new vertebrae as you split him open at the middle until he's roughly twelve feet in the air. Reaching his arms up, you mutate them into tendrils that reach up to the rafters, wrapping around them to secure the tower. You begin dissolving all of his human organs and most of his muscle tissue to widen him, increasing the diameter of the tower to around four feet. You finish creating a dissolving chamber about the same time you run out of available biomass in Dan.

(Above choice continues)
>>
ASSIMILATE
>>
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>>42015293
>>
>>42015293
Some of each.

Who's gonna stop us? Mom?
>>
>>42015293
Eat ALL the cookies.
>>
Oreos, of course.
>>
>We don't care about this choice, OP. Fuck you and your little games

You decide you just throw whatever into Dan, it's not like it matters what Nabisco product begins the downfall of America.

As you throw various cookies into the dissolving chamber, the spore tower starts growing again. Extra tendrils grow from the sides and either plunge into the ground or grow up and around support beams and girders. Above the dissolving chamber, you create several spore chambers and begin to close off the inside of the tower.

After a few more minutes, and with more cookies than Mommy ever let you have in your entire life, the spore tower is complete and begins pumping out a cloud of spores into the warehouse.

Wat do
>>
>>42015662
Eat the cookies while we wait for Monday
>>
Wait, so we had a Mommy?

Yay!

Okay, guys, here is a plan. Let's keep some Oreos or such, but replace the white creme with our goo and offer them to our daughter and her friends as a present. I don't care if she ate the sandvich, we must do this.
>>
>>42015711
Actually, do this.

Also, watch or read the news so we can see humanity's reaction to our party at Disney World.
>>
>>42015711
>Giving your daughter Oreos full of your goo
Really.
Really.
>>
>>42015711
These are NEW Oreos! Improved Filling! ALL BLACK! DARTH VADER OREOS!
>>
>>42015766
kek
>>
>>42015662
Start hunting for any workers in other buildings outside the warehouse.
We could use more mutated foot soldiers and guards.
Fast ones. They'd be a nightmare to root out in an industrial area.
>>
>>42015711
Our goo is black...

>>42015764
>Look for news

You go back into the office as Reed and sit down at the computer, looking for a local news site. The first result is for "MICKEY MOUSE MASSACRE AT ANIMAL KINGDOM" then "EXPLOSION AT DISNEY KILLS TWELVE NATIONAL GUARD SOLDIERS" followed by "122 DEAD WITH DEATH TOLL RISING AT DISNEY PARK MASSACRE"

Which one do you click first?
>>
>>42015870
>122 DEAD WITH DEATH TOLL RISING AT DISNEY PARK MASSACRE
>>
>>42015870
>122 DEAD WITH DEATH TOLL RISING AT DISNEY PARK MASSACRE
>>
>>42015870
>EXPLOSION AT DISNEY KILLS TWELVE NATIONAL GUARD SOLDIERS
Let's go with this one.
>>
>>42015870
>122 DEAD WITH DEATH TOLL RISING AT DISNEY PARK MASSACRE
>>
>>42015870
>"122 DEAD WITH DEATH TOLL RISING AT DISNEY PARK MASSACRE"
and then compare reported to actual numbers
>>
>>42015870
Write-in:

Look instead for porn. See what the assimilator is into
>>
>>42015932
Probably not father-daughter incest.
>>
>>42015947
I'm just writing what would be the most horrible action in my mind. After all, we crossed the moral horizon... the moment we started playing this quest.

If you want less moral wrongness, wait till tommorow for Flesh Civ Quest
>>
>>42015979
>Implying I'm not gonna morally wrong it up
>>
>>42016008
there's a difference between being Evil and just being... no... just... no...

Father-daughter incest is the second one.
Conquering world is just evil. And even then, not always.

And who knows what the thread will want.

WE WILL SEE NEXT TIME! ON FLESH CIVILIZATION QUEST Z
>>
>122 DEAD WITH DEATH TOLL RISING AT DISNEY PARK MASSACRE

You click that article.

"In an absolutely stunning turn of events, a terrorist attack at Disney's Animal Kingdom park has Florida's National Guard on high alert. Earlier today starting around 9am, an unknown number of assailants entered the Animal Kingdom park and opened fire on the crowd with semiautomatic weapons and homemade fire bombs. The level of carnage is unimaginable with the current death toll at 122 confirmed with an estimate as high as 200. The attackers, whose identities and appearances are unknown, also killed a large number of animals at the zoo and used some form of biological agent to horrifically disfigure and brutalize the corpses of those killed. The death toll includes as many as 20 National Guard Hazmat soldiers and 12 National Guard soldiers who were caught in an explosion at the main entrance which we believe was perpetuated by one of the Disney workers "Jordan Vercant". Little else is known regarding the details of the attack, as the entire Disney park has been shut down by the National Guard, who is flying in teams of hazmat clad scientists and is refusing to comment on the situation."
>>
>>42016043
Is there going to be any interaction between our two flesh civs? It would be a nice endgame boss after we have defeated humanity (assuming we actually do so).
>>
>>42016063
noice
>>
>>42016063
Wew lad
Now click on
>EXPLOSION AT DISNEY KILLS TWELVE NATIONAL GUARD SOLDIERS"
>>
>>42016074
Possibly.

>>42016063
Write in: Look for inspiration for new forms
>>
>>42016063
By the way, what happened to those thousands of little infestor beetles we had left after the attack
>>
>>42016168
I second this. Let's get our body horror on.
>>
>>42016176
I assume still buried right underneath the national guard's feet.
>>
>EXPLOSION AT DISNEY KILLS TWELVE NATIONAL GUARD SOLDIERS

"Earlier today during the terrorist attack at Disney World Theme Park, twelve National Guard soldiers were killed in a brutal bombing perpetrated by who we believe to be a Disney employee, "Jordan Vercant". As a National Guard convoy drove through the main entrance to the park, twenty three 20lb propane tanks were detonated, destroying three humvee vehicles and killing the 4 soldiers in each. The body of Jordan Vercant was found later near the site of the explosion, severed in two by what we assume to be the blast and missing several of his internal organs."
>>
>>42016168
>Look for inspiration for new forms
4chan would be the perfect place to find inspiration for world-conquering monsters
>>
>>42016176
>and used some form of biological agent to horrifically disfigure and brutalize the corpses of those killed.

>the entire Disney park has been shut down by the National Guard
>>
>>42016203
I knew those propane bombs would be a good idea.
>>
>>42016230
I don't have the link to thread, but I remember you said there were thousands left after the initial attack against the SWAT team they sent against us
>>
>>42016203
Also
>https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Guard_of_the_United_States
>Size 467,587 end strength (FY2009)
12 down, 467,575 to go
>>
>>42016298
That sounds like a Prototype Achievement
>>
>>42016203
Also if it wasn't clear I'm voting to browse 4chan for inspiration for monsters
>>
>>42016453
yeah
lets not get meta here
>>
>>42016270
Yes. They triggered when the National Guard attempted to go in a second time. Why do you think they're now quarantining the entire park?

>>42016298
We killed more than that.
>>
>>42016468
What if... What if the Assimilator made a thread like this and uses it for ideas?
>>
>>42016474
>Why do you think they're now quarantining the entire park?
That's something the gubmint would do anyways regardless of whether we left traps behind

Anyways, since nobody supports searching 4chan, I instead say we Google "Animal farms in Flordia." We can get a ton of biomass if we find a cattle farm or something
>>
>>42016543
Cue that terrible but oddly relevant horror movie "Splinter".
>>
>>42016565
>something the gubmint would do anyways

It's not standard procedure to quarantine the location of a terrorist attack or mass shooting. Cordon it off, yes. Not quarantine. Quarantine is something that is ordered by the CDC/FEMA/Federal Government.

>visit 4chan

The Assimilator is now a pedophile good job
>>
>>42016640
>The Assimilator is now a pedophile good job
I have a feeling at least one of the anons here is jacking off to this shit. Looking at you Hadrian.
>>
>>42016640
>The Assimilator is now a pedophile good job
young or old he just after dat biomass
>>
>>42016671
Oh no. I despise such things, actually.
I just suggested horrible things
>>
>>42016640
>The Assimilator is now a pedophile
Poor Melissa. Now she'll be infected one way or the other.

>>42016565
This, though. Yes. Acquire cow biomass or whatever they have in Florida. Crocodiles, I guess.
>>
>>42016755
The common pigeon. Imagine swarms of infected birds terrorizing population centers.
>>
>animal farms in Florida

A very general search. It doesn't teach you much but now you know Florida actually has a fair amount of cattle ranching in the southern part of Central Florida between Kissimmee and the Everglades.
>>
>>42016776
But pigeons are already like that?
>>
>>42016776
>>42016797
Imagine.

Spore infused pigeon shit.
>>
>>42016792
>southern part of Central Florida between Kissimmee and the Everglades.
Alright, if we can send Thomas and David there, do so. Get them to hire a taxi if they have any cash, if not just jack a car.
>>
>>42016827
>Research: Infect wheeled, self-powered motor vehicles
>>
>Warp to Thomas and David

You decide to try and send Thomas and David down to a ranch in South Central Florida to have some steak and eggs.

[A]: Rent a car
[B]: Hire a Taxi
[C]: Steal a Taxi
[D]: Take the Train
>>
>>42016898
>Take the train
Public transport has always been a great way to get sick.
>>
>>42016856
Better.

Some sort of Creature with a wheel being its body, but also so it can hide in it...

Something like. dunno...
>>
>>42016898
>>42016915
I agree with this fine gentlemen.

Let's take the train.
>>
>>42016898
>>42016915
Yup, take the train. Will it pass through any big cities on the way?
>>
>The Train

You decide to take the train from Orlando to Okeechobee. When you arrive at the station, you see that it will arrive in a few minutes for a 10:20am departure. You use David's smartphone to check his bank account balance, and move some money out of a savings account titled "Melissa's College Fund" to pay for the tickets for you and Thomas. You are seated together in the middle of the train. Two cars ahead of you is the bar car, one car behind you is the cafe.

[A]: Wait for the train to arrive in Okeechobee
[B]: Split up and get off at two separate stations
[C]: Visit the Bar Car
[D]: (Write in)

(I forgot to mention, because we jumped back to David and Thomas, the time reverse-skipped to right after the massacre. It is now 10:20am and the events with Kevin/Rachel are just now unfolding and Reed/Dan have not yet found a place to begin the spore tower)
>>
>>42017126
>(I forgot to mention, because we jumped back to David and Thomas, the time reverse-skipped to right after the massacre. It is now 10:20am and the events with Kevin/Rachel are just now unfolding and Reed/Dan have not yet found a place to begin the spore tower)
Well that's interesting.

>[C]: Visit the Bar Car
I was going to say start subtly infecting people, but I don't think we can do anything subtly.
>>
>>42017222
>Well that's interesting

Not really lol. Because we have multiple things happening at once, and we focus on one thing at a time, everything else sort of "pauses" while we do.
>>
>>42017126
>>42017222
Wait, wait... maybe if we work our way up to the conductor... we can absorb him into the fold and make this train have no brakes.

Then we get an entire trains worth of soldiers under our comman.d
>>
>>42017126
>>42017126
>(I forgot to mention, because we jumped back to David and Thomas, the time reverse-skipped to right after the massacre. It is now 10:20am and the events with Kevin/Rachel are just now unfolding and Reed/Dan have not yet found a place to begin the spore tower)
Why'd we jump back? It makes no sense that we wild go there because we got the knowledge to go there from David browsing the Internet.

Anyways, [C]: Visit the Bar Car
>>
>>42017126
Visit bar car, and try to leave spore deposits on the way. Hand rails, maybe a coffee machine or coke dispenser, anything that people tend to touch.
>>
>>42017126
>C visit bar car
Also just got back from the arcade. Won multiple high ticket jackpots (highest was 500). Went in with $10 worth of quarters and left with 1128 tickets worth of cheap prizes, including a massive industrial slinky.
>>
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>>42017276
We jumped back because we had to for two reasons

1) If we didn't, that means Thomas and David have been wandering around doing fuck all for 2 hours and it would be implied that the giant evil space monster can only control a few people directly at once
2) we would have missed the train

Also the whole 'cows in florida' thing is really common knowledge everyone that lives here knows it.

>Visit the Bar Car

You have Thomas and David get up once the train gets under way and begin walking to the bar car, making sure to touch as many surfaces as possible, all the while depositing spores. When you arrive at the bar car, it's fairly empty. It consists of a train car with seating and large windows on both ends, with a bar in the middle partly closed off with half-walls. Behind the bar stands a woman in an Amtrak uniform.

[A]: Order a drink
[B]: Continue to engine
[C]: Sit down
[D]: (Write in)
>>
>>42017474
>Order a Drink
We don't need to hijack the train and cause ANOTHER massacre. We just need to get to a farm and make a mega tower.
>>
>>42017474
>[A]: Order a drink
I agree that we shouldn't cause trouble, but we should try to infect as many people as possible. Are there any other patrons? If so, we should try to swap drinks when nobody is looking
>>
>>42017520
>cause ANOTHER massacre
That's not what we'd be doing. We'd be taking control of the train and methodically assimilating everyone on it. They can't escape if the train doesn't stop.
>>
>Order a drink

You have Thomas and David walk up to the counter. The amtrak bartender greets both of your puppets pleasantly and asks what they'd like to drink.

You search their memories, and decide on a Tom Collins for David and a Jack and Coke for Thomas. As you sit them down with their drinks, you survey the bar car. There are three other patrons here at the moment, sitting each by themselves.

David and Thomas take a sip of their drinks, and you're floored.

Holy shit this tastes good.
>>
>>42017595
If it's just six people, we can probably infect them all in quick succession. We were able to do so before at the gas station. Infect the people that look most likely to fight back first.
>>
>>42017595
Let's not try to cause a scene. Just slyly infecting as many surfaces/drinks as possible will suffice.
>>
>>42017647
>six people

Do you need help with numbers, bro?
>>
>>42017712
Thomas+David+Bartender+Three Patrons=6. Do you need help with numbers bro?
>>
>>42017740
You don't need to infect David and Thomas. They're already infected. There are only four hostiles.
>>
>>42017750
Let's do it again anyways.
>>
>>42017750
Yes, I know that. Why do you think I don't?
>>
>>42017758
>Let's do it again anyways

David and Thomas lean into each other and begin making out. As they do, you swap yourself between them and re-infect them.

Now the bartender and one of the patrons are watching you. The bartender seems perturbed, the patron has a weird glint in his eye and seems overly interested.
>>
>>42017791
Continue doing it again,
This time more...sexually.
>>
>>42017791
GAY ORGY SPORE TRAIN CHOO CHOO
>>
>>42017777
Check em.
>>42017791
Kiss the patron.
>>
>>42017811
>>42017815
>>42017821
JUST DO IT, THE THING
>>
>>42017821
Who should kiss the patron? David or Thomas
>>
>>42017847
Does it really matter? :/
>>
>>42017847
They should all make out together and have a super gay orgy of spores.
>>
>>42017875
Maybe the patron has preferences.

>>42017847
Who's the more conventionally handsome of the two?
>>
>>42017875
I mean, that depends. Do you want the average looking fairly attractive David to approach the potentially gay patron, or do you want the neo nazi skinhead with a handlebar moustache to approach the potentially gay patron?
>>
>>42017915
Obviously the neonazi...
David, of course.
>>
>>42017915
No, I want David and neo-nazi skin head to fuck each other and release spores of lust.
>>
>>42017915
As a jackpot winning anon I vote David.
>>
>Not the Neo Nazi

David stands up and, Tom Collins in hand, walks over and sits down next to the other patron.

[A]: Hey sexy
[B]: W'sup
[C]: Saw you eyeing us
[D]: (Write in)
>>
>>42017976
D: Hey faggot, we're going to go have sex, me and the Neo Nazi.
>>
>>42017976
>C: Saw you eyeing us.
>D: you know you could join us anytime.
>>
>>42017976
Ayyyy wan sum fuk?
>>
>>42018008
Pretty much.
>>
>>42017976
>>42018008
This
>>
>Be forwardly gay

You have David grin at the man and say "Hey, saw you eyeing us. You can join in if you want..."

He pulls away and narrows his eyes at you. "As if I'd ever stoop so low as to be a faggot. Leviticus 18:22! You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination!" You shall burn in hellfire for your sin!

You've made a mistake.

The bartender starts laughing quietly, hiding her mouth with one hand. The other patrons are studiously ignoring this.

[A]: Stab him in the throat
[B]: Splash your drink on him
[C]: Kiss him anyway
[D]: (Write in)
>>
>>42018096
>C: Kiss him anyway and turn him as quickly as we can
>"Told you you'd love it" (continue kissing)
>>
>>42018119
This.
>>
>>42018096
>>42018119
suuuuure
>>
>>42018096
D: Begin having gay sex.
>>
>>42018096
>[D]: "You are not to wear clothing made from two different kinds of material. Leviticus 19:19."
>>
>>42018119
I vote this. Extra hands will come in handy for when we get to the ranch.
>>
>>42018143
Let's do this.
>>
>Be a faggot

You kiss the man anyway. Or, at least, try to. As soon as you get close he starts pushing you away and swearing profusely, calling you a 'faggot' and a 'sinner' and a 'heathen' and telling you to 'get the fuck off my jock'

The bartender appears to be getting agitated.

[A]: Stab him in the throat
[B]: Try to kiss him harder
[C]: Leviticus 19:19
[D]: (Write in)
>>
>>42018143
ayy lmao this
>>
>>42018199
>[C]: Leviticus 19:19
>>
>>42018199
D: Begin fucking Neo Nazi and release spores.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>42018199
>C: tell him bible verses to momentarily distract him and kiss
>D: have our new nazi friend tackle and infect the bartender while he's distracted with the display.
>>
>>42018211
>>42018224
a combination of these
>>
>>42018267
>>42018268
All of these.
>>
>>42018199
>[C]: Leviticus 19:19
>>
>Increase faggotry

You start shouting at the man in return "THOU SHALT NOT WEAR CLOTHING MANUFACTURED FROM TWO DIFFERENT MATERIALS!"

He shows you that his clothing is 100% cotton.

Shit.

You try kissing him again and this time he punches you in the face.

>Nazitime

Thomas gets up and jumps over the counter, tackling the bartender. He pins her to the ground and starts infecting her.
>>
>>42018319
STAB HIM IN THE THROAT AND IMMEDIATELY COVER IT UP WITH GAY NECK KISSES. HE SHALL BURN WITH US.
>>
>>42018319
Mutate into true form and begin having a gay tentacle orgy.
>>
>>42018319
What a cheeky cunt. Who even wears pure cotton in Florida. That'd be beyond uncomfortable.

Tackle and tentacle him.
>>
>>42018352
God fuckin' finally

You have David break his Tom Collins glass and stab the man in the throat with a shard of glass. You then immediately clamp your mouth over the cut and start infecting him.

One of the patrons finally looks over and sees David sucking on the man's neck and doesn't see Thomas or the Bartender. He sighs and turns back around and takes another sip of his drink.

"Fucking tourists"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>42018319
We must NOT turn tentacles, but back off before we get someone killed. Maybe if we are lucky (a 1-3 on a 20) nobody else noticed the neo-nazi tackle the bar tender.
>>
>>42018356
Do this, The Thing.
>>
>>42018356
Nah, man. Nah.
>>
>>42018409
>(a 1-3 on a 20)

First of all who are you to determine what roll means what? You're not the QM, I am.

Second, no one said to roll anything.

Third, if we WERE rolling your shitass 1 would have instafailed us.

GG, get out.
>>
>>42018460
Thanksgiving is a time for thanks that we didn't get shanked and neck but by rapid tentacle tourists.
>>
>>42018476
It's fuckin' December read the OP
>>
>>42018409
Who is this fuck? Nobody rolls unless the QM says so. Also who the hell rolls low for success?
>>
>>42018395
After we infect the bartender and the Westboro Baptist Church member, infect the other two, withThomas and the Bartender going after one and David and the Christian going after the other.
>>
>>42018500
And then we stop infecting directly, just infect the drinks and food and any surfaces unnoticed. When we get to the ranch we'll have 5+ people ready to help take it over.
>>
After a few minutes, you gain control over the Bartender (Jennifer) and the Church goer (Jackson)

You jump the other two patrons with two each and infect them quickly, gaining Jeremiah and Janice.

Now what?
>>
>>42018551
Gay Orgy.
Also that's 4 J's.
>>
>>42018551
Leave the bartender on the train to do his job. He'll infect a lot of passengers I've thre next few days by spiking drinks (especially the fruity ones). Take everyone else you infect with the drinks by the time we arrive and go to a farm.
>>42018565
Not this.
>>
>>42018565
let's do this
>>
>>42018551
>>42018592
This is a good plan.
>>
>>42018592
Good plan. The rest can help with the cattle farm spore tower.
>>
>>42018592
>His job
>Bartender named Jennifer
>His

>>42018565
Fuck off.
>>
>>42018592
This. and see if there's a way to leave spores in a few ACs.
>>
>>42018672
I'm sorry. Her*
>>
You leave the bartender at her post.

[A]: Infect conductor(s)
[B]: Hand out free drinks to infect the passengers
[C]: Create a miniature spore tower in the bar car
[D]: (Write in)
>>
>>42018730
A and B.
C would be too risky.
>>
>>42018730
>B
We don't need to make a spore tower when we can infect al the passengers subtly over the course of a few days with nobody calling the CDC.
>>
>>42018758
>over the course of a few days

How long of a train ride do you think this is?

It's only like 4 hours
>>
>>42018750
Move two toward the engine and use two to distribute drinks, something like that.
>>
>>42018784
We are leaving the bartender there remember? SHE is more useful doing her job for an indefinite time period.
>>
>>42018730
[B]: Hand out free drinks to infect the passengers

For some reason for C I just imagined an infected persons arm just falling off almost like it rotted at the joint and mutating.
>>
>>42018730
>D: also heal that dude's neck injury.
>>
>>42018915
A+ forethought.
>>
alright bros I'm gonna stop the game here, getting pretty tired.

We'll hopefully resume tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then sunday evening after I get back from work.

The Assimilator Part 6: THE FLESH TRAIN

If you haven't already please follow this quest's twitter here: https://twitter.com/AssimilatorDave

See y'all next time!
>>
>>42016792
>>42016898

Sigh, I'm way late on this but the largest Cow-calf ranch in US is just 7 miles east of Orlando! Deseret Ranches
>>
>>42019063
Meh. The train is taking a alternate route and loops back to somewhere close to the ranch after 4 hours. Also, why can't you start the quests earlier QM?
>>
>>42019055
Sunuva a bitch! I missed it again!
>>
>>42019055
>>42019063

damnit! fucking time zones!
>>
>>42019063
from the website
>Deseret currently raises 42,500 cows....
That's a whole fuckton of biomass if we can somehow infect the ranchers and drive the massive herd into a spore tower.
>>
>>42019089
It's not looping anywhere it's just going to South Central Florida. Also I work, dude. I have two jobs to make ends meet. 50-60 hours a week, no days off.

>>42019063
>>42019136
>>42019168
Sorry dudes
>>
>>42019055
THERE'S NO BRAKES ON THE ASSIMILATION TRAIN
>>
>>42019201

mormon cows make the best biomass.
>>
>>42019212
Sorry dude. Didn't know you were so busy.
>>
>>42019212
It's okay, my past few days have been pretty hectic. Once I fall into a sane pattern maybe I can get some votes in.
>>
Anyone archive the thread?
>>
>>42019298
Oh, speaking of, the last thread wasn't archived.
>>
>>42019305
You didn't miss much. All we literally did was decide to go to a warehouse and what to do. Decided what to do this thread.
>>
>>42019213
No but there is a sleeper car

>>42019234
It's alright. I'd like to get a full time job but it's fucking hard to find a good full time job anywhere. It's all part time now. At least I get paid decently. $9.50/hr at one job and $8.50/hr at another + commission so I have enough money to pay my bills and buy booze/food.

My schedule is just all over the place tho. Like, tomorrow I'm 4-9:45 at a job 45 minutes away then the day after I'm 12-8 at a closer one then monday I'm 7-2 at one job then 4-10 at the other etc etc
>>
>>42019324
Still should have been archived. Someone is going to marathon this and not know what the fuck is going on from the skip.
>>
>>42019358
I submitted it for archive a few hours ago.
>>
>>42019399
I'm only getting 1-3.
>>
>>42019412
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/41983401/
>>
>>42019418
What are it's tags?
>>
>>42019446
"flesh quest" and that's it.
>>
>>42019201
If each cow weighs an average of 1,400 pounds (excluding clalfs) that would be around 59,500,000 pounds of biomass for a spore tower. Exactly how big would that be?
>>
>>42019501
BIG ENOUGH TO OPEN OUR OWN SPORE FARM
>>
>>42019501
Oh god that'd be glorious.

WELCOME TO THE MOO TOWER, HOME OF YOUR DEATH
>>
>>42019501
Well a 190lb man and roughly 50lbs of cookies made a 12' by 4' spore tower
>>
>>42019501
So we catch a couple of the weak and slow calfs and use them to create a tower out of 1,000 pounds of biomass and use that to make a spore cloud. Then drive the herd after we infect the ranch hands (first thing to do) into the very large spore cloud to infect them and drive hem into the original spore tower, increasing its size to epic proportions. Then just rinse and repeat with the multiple herds until we have the largest spore tower, rivaling the one we have over the vent field.
>>
>>42019596
Hey, is there any chance we could start infecting the Mycelium network that connects roughly 90% of the plants in the world?

http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141111-plants-have-a-hidden-internet


Is that a thing we could do?
>>
where has the assimilation gone
>>
>>42020671
If we infect someone that has knowledge of that we could try. But I bet it would be an agonizingly slow process.
>>
>>42025731
Why's that? At the start we were going on feel alone, sensing the reefs and the vents. If we can do that kind of stuff, surely we would recognize a network like that if even a bit of our goop dripped onto the ground.
>>
>>42026021
But the QM doesn't know about that. And how much matter can travel through that network at what speed? It would be incredibly useful if we got some idiot in Canada eating the tuna because he'd infect the root network of the entire Alaskan wilderness.
>>
Bump.
>>
Bump V. 2.0
>>
Bump V2.1
>>
Bump V2.2
>>
Bump V 2.3
>>
Bump V2.4
>>
Bump V2.5
>>
Bump V2.6
>>
why the hell do you guys keep bumping every thread? He starts a new thread every update so there is no point in bumping
>>
>>42033539
Because it's time for Bump V 2.7
>>
>>42033539
Bumped again.
>>
>>42026021
No, at the start we had sight.

Also so far none of the goop we've had is "us" it's castoff, like a virus. If it doesn't land in or on something that is alive it dies pretty rapidly, and since plant life is so varied we have to purposefully infect it via carrier before our virus castoff recognizes it as a host.

So we won't accidentally discover a mycelium network. If we find a microbiologist that knows about it, maybe.

>>42027218
>>42027626
>>42028453
>>42029068
>>42029626
>>42030591
>>42030998
>>42033707
>>42036291
Fucking stop bumping the thread you morons.
>>
>>42038792
B-B-B-BUMP
>>
>>42038792
Still here.
>>
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>>42038792
It's more than me!



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