>>41774483
>Flippers up, don't shoot, Dood!

>>41774483
>Flippers up, don't shoot!
So...
We're basically a demon penguin, right?

>>41774483
>flippers up, dont shoot!

File: hiya dood.jpg (6 KB, 208x242)

6 KB JPG

prinny for reference

>>41774554
Being a prinny is like purgatory. You work like a slave till you earn a chance to be reborn. Some prinnies get sick of it.

Disgaea is a very tongue-in-cheek setting, though, so don't get too hung up on the metaphysics dood!

>Flippers up, don't shoot!
we're to young to die, dood!

Wait, LOTUS is running this quest? Oh god, he sucks. I guess he gave up on Kobold?

Flippers up, dood!

Writing

>>41774706
People do this? Just show up in quests and act like assholes?

>>41774747
It is called shitposting/trolling. The former (usually) has more effort than the latter.

If this doesn't turn into the swolest Prinny ever quest, or if we don't get reincarnated

I'll be mildly disappointed.

>>41774712
oh yeah, it IS Lotus. Yeah, Prinnies suits the style of rapidly juggling sheer terror and lighthearted gags. Good choice, man.

>>41774712
And don't think I've forgotten about all the smut I owe you. Don't worry, I'll be shitting up your threads with short, shitty posts about Kobolds getting fucked very soon. No, no need to thank me, it's all part of the job description.

File: 1439009623160.gif (437 KB, 500x500)

437 KB GIF

>>41774952
What would we do without you Hue?

>>41774952
>No short shitty posts about Prinnues getting fucked
I trusted you, Hue.
I TRUSTED you...

>>41774483
You raise your flippers high as you can, eyes wide and pleading. Bonnie leans in, her nubby horns barely visible under her heavy blond curls. "Well, look here! We have a volunteer to go first."

"Go first, dood?"

She pistol-whips you on the back of the head, sending you sprawling forward beak-first into the sand. It doesn't really hurt. Much. As you pick yourself up and brush off the sand, you're just barely in the shadow of the pyramid. It's an old, crumbling structure decorated with leering faces and barely glowing demonic lettering. You're not sure if they're there to serve as a warning to would-be graverobbers, graffiti, or maybe both. You feel the gun pressed to the back of your head.

"All right, march!"

"March, dood?" You really, really don't like this idea. The high-heeled boot planted in your back doesn't give you much of a choice, though, as you're forced toward the entryway to the massive structure. Soon enough, you're standing in the cavernous entryway, Bonnie a good distance behind you, and your "fellow" Prinnies behind her. Cowards. Chickens! You're so very envious of them right now. Still, you're more afraid of your boss than you are of the unknown, so you step forward boldly - which is to say, you don't collapse into a blubbering heap.

And "click" goes the pressure panel.

"MOVE!" shoutes Bonnie, diving backward as a massive iron cage descends from the ceiling, heavy black spheres adorning the ourside. It lands around you with a loud bang, the impact of sparks on black stone catching on the long cords hanging from the spheres. Showers of sparks, and loud hissing, erupt from the cords as the light reveals the black spheres for what they are.

"What the hell!? Who makes a trap like this, dood!?" you should, turning back toward Bonnie and grabbing the bars, trying with all your might to- ah, hell, you broke a seam.

>>41775117
Bonnie has already regathered herself, and is marching another unfortunate Prinny past your location at gunpoint, the others in tow behind her. For the briefest of moments, the lead Prinny's eyes meet yours, and there is an unspoken communication: "Dood, this is messed up."

Soon, you're left alone, waiting for the bombs to go off. It had been... well, a terrible afterlife. Worked all day, no snacks, all the best spots for goofing off and dodging work found by either Bonnie or her partner Clyde and walled off, half pudding rations. Truly, the worst of all Hells. If you were capable, you might have shed a tear.

The fuses disappear into the dusty black shells of the bombs surrounding the cage. You squeeze your eyes shut and cover your ears. This is it, dood! See you on the other... huh?

You open your eyes. The sparks have stopped, and the bombs remain inert. You're no explosives expert, but you're pretty sure that there was supposed to be a huge explosion and a lot of pain. But, no! You're alive! Well, as alive as you can get. You hop up on the tips of your flippers and throw a fist in the air.

"Yeah! Yeah, dood, I did it! I don't know how, dood, but I'm alive and that's-"

The explosion rocks the entryway, the flagstones under you giving way spectacularly as you're hurtled into darkness below, the only light coming from the tip of your beak, which has now caught fire. The cage shielded you from most of the shrapnel, so you're only in blinding pain, rather than catastrophic! A good day, all things considered!

You hear the air whistling all around you, the walls of the deadfall barely visible beyond the range of your flaming beak, when another thought occurs to you.

"Wait, dude... don't Prinnies expl-"

===========================

>>41775136
You come too inside the twisted ruin of the iron cage, laying in the center of a small crater of glittering golden coins. You slowly right yourself and climb out, seeing the treasure stretches out to all four corners of the room, studded here and there with gems and other objects of value. In the center of the room, towering above all the rest, is a pedestal of the same black stone, and upon it is a shining golden scepter, decorated with a twisting jade snake with glittering onyx eyes. In the silence, you think you hear it snoring.

>I'm alive!
>To hell with alive, I'm rich dood!

>>41775161
>I'm alive, dood! Well, sort of. Dead-alive, in the afterlife?

>>41775161
>Uhh, 'scuse me dood. Is all this cash yours, dood?
>Wait for a snore that sounds like a yes.
>Can I have it, dood?
>Wait for a snore that sounds like a yes.
>To hell with alive, I'm rich dood!

>>41775161
Writing!

>>41775399
You're still my waifu

>>41775460
All the homo.

>>41775161
You give yourself a quick pat-down. Weird... no broken seams, no torn cloth, even your beak isn't as charred as it should be! You hear an explosion from somewhere above you... or somewhere else in the pyramid, anyway. The snoring sound cuts off, replaced by a sleepy-sounding muttering, and now you're sure it's coming from the scepter.

"Um... excuse me, dood?"

"Mmmm, what? I swear, I had just gotten to sleep ten-thousand years ago!" There's a pout to the voice. It sounds cute, dood.

"Is all this cash yours, dood?"

"...dude? Are you blind?"

"What, dood?"

"Just look! I am clearly a curvaceous and feminine beauty! I'm not a dude!"

"...you're a rod, dood."

The rod shakes on its pedestal, twisting slightly as if to 'look' down at itself, hovering slightly off the pedestal and twirling to survey the treasure chamber.

"Oh! Oh, silly me! Hey, do me a favor? Just grab onto me and say 'Awaken, my servant!' I'm getting cramped."

Cramped? Well, whatever. Still, you're not sure if it's a good idea. You hear gunshots from somewhere closer by, and another explosion.

You make your way over to the pedestal and, stretching, tip the rod over onto the coins. It gives a little "Oof!" before you scoop it up, looking down at it suspiciously.

"Get the dynamite against that door! Hurry!" You hear Bonnie barking orders outside. You frown - or as much as you can with your beak - and consider the rod again for a moment.

>Awaken, dood!
>Shovel as much gold as you can into your pouch before Bonnie breaks through
>Write-In

>>41775720
>>Awaken, dood!

>>41775720
>>Awaken, dood!

Welp, this will end absolutely perfectly.

Better be at least an 8/10, or no deal.

>>41775720
>Stick a hand(?)ful of gold into your pouch
>Hide somewhere safe from the explosion where we won't lose the rod
>wait for explosion, first
>"Awaken, dood!" while everyone's ears are still ringing

>>41775720
>>Awaken, dood!

>>41775720

Voting for >>41775817

>>41775720
Sorry, had a break for dinner.

Writing!

>>41775720
You flail and scramble, taking shelter behind a pile of gold and crouching to avoid detection. Despite your tactical retreat, you find enough time to shove a ruby the size of your head into our pouch. The fact it's painfully visible means nothing.

An explosion rocks the chamber, sending coins, gems, and whatever the hell that is - it looks like an ebony toilet brush - flying overhead. You squeak, throwing your arms and the rod over your head for protection.

"Oooh, things sound like they're getting interesting out there!"

You hear the crunch of a boot on coin, and the shuffling of Prinny flippers moving through the treasure. "Oh ho ho ho ho! Finally! The treasure of King Hastur is mine! Nothing could possibly make this day go bad-"

"Awaken, dood!" You yell, holding the rod aloft. You hear Bonnie deadpan a 'What' in surprise, but the rod's occupant seems a bit more upset.

"W-what!? No, not 'dude!' What have you done!?" Black fog begins to pour out of the rod, the metal shaking and sparking in your flipper. You drop it onto the ground where it writhes and twists, the feminine voice shouting in fury. The black smoke slowly turns pink, coalescing into a tall, shapely feminine form. As it clears out, though, a pink Prinny dressed in shimmering fabric that would be indecent by any stretch of the imagination should the bearer be humanoid stands before you on the coins, murder in its eyes.

"WHAT DID YOU DO, DOOD!? WAIT... WHY AM I SAYING 'DOOD,' DOOD!? DOOD!"

Well... this was unexpected.

>>41776180
"What the hell are you doing!? Get down here and help me load akk this up!" Bonnie snaps, pointing at the pink Prinny, then around at the treasure. It turns, regarding the gun-wielding demoness critically.

"Who are you, dood? And who do you think you're talking to!?"

You swallow in shock. The last Prinny that talked back to Bonnie like that ended up hanging by his flippers in the dungeon for a week. Bonnie herself seems shocked.

"Wha- who am I? Get down here or so help me..." She levels the gun at the pink Prinny.

"Hey. Dood. Grab the rod and make a wish." The pink prinny falls back to stand beside you, eyes narrowed at Bonnie.

"...what, dood?"

>Write-In

>>41776195
I wish Bonnie was a Prinny, Dood.

>>41776195
>I wish Bonnie was my servant, dood!

>>41776228
>>41776229
fyi, if nobody else votes, I'm cool with mixing these

>>41776195

>I wish Bonnie was my servant, dood!

>>41776228
>>41776229
I vote we mix these.

I'm pretty sure the moon is yellow/greeb. Red Moon is a special occasion.

>>41776195
I wish I was the biggest, most badass dood ever, dood.

>>41776195
Writing!

>>41776195
Bonnie takes a shot at the pink Prinny, but she dances out of the way gracefully. For a Prinny, anyway. You stoop down and grab the rod. Make a wish? What the hell does she mean? Ah, well. You suppose there's only one thing you really want. You conjure up an image in your mind. You're seated on a throne, wearing a velvet cape and a brilliant golden crown, chalice of pudding in one flipper, cigar in the other. Demons, monsters, and all manner of powerful creatures sing your praises on all sides and under your flippers, serving as your footrest?

A certain blond-haired gunslinger pain-in-you-ass.

"I wish Bonnie was my servant, dood!" You hold the rod upright, and the serpent's eyes glitter. Sparkles fill the air around the rod, and the room fills with muted shades of light. You almost drop the rod in shock.

"W-WHAT TH-"

The pink Prinny begins to dance, twirling with her flippers held aloft. She tries to move gracefully, but looking every bit like a chubby pear with legs, she can't quite pull it off, Flashes of light spark intermittently as pink smoke fills the room, coiling around Bonnie. The demoness spits and curses, firing off shots at the smoke, at you, at the dancing pink Prinny, at whatever she can aim at, but to no avail. Soon, the smoke envelops her.

"Let go of me! Get off! D-damn it, get off me, dood! Wait.. NO! DAMN IT, DOOD!"

The smoke clears as soon as it appeared, and what's left where Bonnie stood is a Prinny with luxurious, curly blonde locks, a revolver lying beside it. Metal shackles adorn its "ankles," gleaming with demonic script. The few remaining prinnies from the original squad gasp and curl around, one poking at the Bonnie Prinny with a stick.

>>41776688
"Is she dead, dood?"

"I don't know, dood."

"Should we leave her, dood?"

The pink Prinny stops dancing, striking a pose and winking at you. "Ta-da! Magic managed, dood!"

Okay... that was quite possibly one of the coolest things you've seen.

You look down at the sceptre, noting that the serpent is quite a bit shorter now than it had been. You shrug, not wanting to worry about it right now. Bonnie groans, trying to reach for her revolver and finding herself unable to grip it.

You clamber over to her, kicking the weapon away from her, the gun skittering across the coins, hitting the wall, going off, and shattering a vase across the room behind you. Your fellow Prinnies flinch, but you're on cloud nine right now. You cross your flippers over your chest, looking down at Bonnie with a smirk.

"So, dood! How's it feel to be powerless?"

"When I figure out how to get out of this, dood, I'm gonna-"

"Hey, clam up dood! I'm givin' the orders now!"

She moves as if to keep speaking, but her beak slams shut. Her eyes widen, and you hear frustrated noises from deep in her 'throat,' but no actual words issue out.

Oh... you could get very used to this.

>Issue orders! (Write-In)
>Ask questions! (Write-In)
>Introductions! (Write-In)

>>41776709
>>Ask questions! (Write-In)
Get the pink prinny to explain the scepter thing?

>>41776709
>Issue Orders!

Everyone give me a high five! Dood!

>>41776709
Writing

Bets that this is a faustian deal and rod lady gets our soul after we use up all the wishes?

>>41776970

That would fit the mood of Disgaea quite well...

>>41776998
The threat would fit the mood, but so would it never happening.

>>41776709
You take a seat on the mound of coins that had served moments ago as your shield, and the pink Prinny takes a seat beside you, at your feet. You consider the sceptre a moment, then look to her.

"What's your name, dood?"

She looks up at you, tilting her head. "Hmm? Oh, where are my manners? I'm Ginnie, dood! I live in that sceptre."

Makes sense.

"And you grant wishes, dood?"

She nods. As you talk, Bonnie has risen and is trying to command the remaining Prinnies to attack you. They're just lounging around and ignoring her. She's fuming at the beak, but despite her efforts to attack them, she's doing no kind of damage at all.

"Mmhm! I used to belong to the sultan who ruled here ten-thousand years ago, before he decided to attack Celestia in order to rule both there and the Netherworld. I told him it wasn't a good idea, but what can you do, dood?" She shrugs. Bonnie has gotten shoved over onto her back, and the other prinnies are laughing at her as she attempts to right herself.

"So I can just wish for anything, dood?"

"Almost, dood! But it's been a long time, so I might be a little rusty, dood."

Oh, man... there's so much you want to accomplish, dood! Wealth! Power! Fame! Double snacks! The possibilities are endless! But first, there's something that needs doing.

You climb down from your seat and approach Bonnie. The two Prinnies back off, leaving you to stand over the blonde-haired Prinny.

>>41777198
"So, you're gonna help me beat up Clyde and take over your hideout."

"What!? No way, dood!" Bonnie flails, trying to right herself and strike out at you at the same time. "No way in the Netherworld I'll cross him, dood!"

"Master? She can't really disobey you." Ginnie pipes up from her seat. "Just use the rod and say 'I command you,' dood!"

So, wish-granting, house, and a way to control Bonnie? "I command you, dood! Help me beat Clyde!"

"Yes, Master, as you command! NO, DAMN IT DOOD!" Bonnie flails harder.

"It's all right. When the time comes, she'll do what needs done." Ginnie rises and moves to your side. "For now, let's get out of here. I'd bet they blundered into every trap on the way down, dood, so we should be able to get back up easily."

You nod. "But first!"

====================================================

Bonnie pants heavily, loaded down like a pack mule with every bit of treasure from the chamber, you riding atop the bulging robber-style pack with the sceptre held across your lap, the other Prinnies marching along ahead of you like an honor guard goofing off and laughing.

"All right, dood, so what's the plan now?" Ginnie asks from within the sceptre.

>Go straight for Clyde, dood! Element of surprise!
>Let's find some more allies first. He's not going to go down easy, dood.
>Shopping spree! Luxury Pudding and Unopened Soft Drinks for everyone!

>>41777228
>Shopping spree! Luxury Pudding and Unopened Soft Drinks for everyone!
Can we make it so prinnes only explode on our command?

>>41777228
>>Shopping spree! Luxury Pudding and Unopened Soft Drinks for everyone!
And, you know, magic scarves that give us 2 free hits/throws before we explode.

>>41777228
>Shopping spree! Luxury Pudding and Unopened Soft Drinks for everyone!

>>41777271
Since monsters can't lift things, IIRC, you'd have to hire somebody to throw them anyway.

>>41777278
oh, and muscles for everyone. HP is the best stat when it makes you harder to kill AND makes your explosions stronger.

What do prinnies with muscles look like, anyway?

>>41777228
Shopping! Writing.

>>41777388
Abominations.

>>41777527
Can we wish to be a higher tier monster?

>>41777228
You make your way back across the desert toward the Dimensional Gate, finally arriving and stepping through. The Netherworld warps around you, and you find yourself standing in the square of Boomtown, a twisted city of iron and industry, shrouded in smoke and grime. The Gatekeeper looks at you curiously as you pass through, but as if remembering suddenly that she really doesn't care, turns back to the crossword puzzle she was doing before you stepped through. You smack the side of the massive robber pack with the rod, and Bonnie sets off trudging through the streets, grumbling.

As you walk, the gazes of the various citizens - demon and monster alike - are drawn to you, some jaws agape, some with obvious jealousy and greed in their eyes. You don't notice, you're far too happy right now. With a combination of shouted commands and leaning to shift the weight of the pack, you guide Bonnie to the doors of the Rosen Queen Company, Boomtown Branch. The small skull-shaped bell over the top of the door screams as you step in, Bonnie and the other Prinnies working to shove the mass of treasure through the door. The attendant looks up from his magazine with a single cocked brow.

"...what the Hell, man..."

A loud, angry barking comes from behind the counter and the young demon flinches, looking down. "Sorry, boss." He sighs and looks back at you, with a bored expression. "Welcome to Rosen Queen Trading Company, my name is Sigil, how can I help you."

Another round of angry barking, and the young man sighs, reaching down and scooping a tiny three-headed red puppy onto the counter. It sits and clears its throat, regarding you carefully.

"Ya gots ta fergive da kid, 'es new. Whatcha mooks want?"

>Healing Items
>Accessories
>Weapons
>Talk (Write-In)

>>41777582
You can certainly try!

>>41777628
>Snacks-
I mean, Healing Items

>Armor/Muscles/Orbs
you know what, just get everything

>>41777628
>Talk (Write-In)
More prinnies?

>>41777628
>Talk (Write-In)
Your business and you.

>>41777628
Writing!

>>41777628
You place a massive order for snacks: Chocolate, Taiyaki, Luxury Pudding, Soft Drinks, all manner of sugary treats and things that would rot your teeth if you had them. Maybe you'll even share! No, no, that's not the way a good leader should think. You minions should share in the spoils too! As Sigil is bagging up the purchases, and you're looking over catalogues of accessory items, including protein powders and shiny crystal orbs, you try and strike up a conversation with the small hellhound.

"So, been in business long, dood?"

"We been here fer about fifty years now. Rosen Queen's been in business a lot longer, 'course. Gots a stranglehold on th' interdimensional market an' all. I been in charge 'ere fer th' last thirty years."

"You look so young, dood!"

"Jes managed t' get reincarnated. Figured ah was gettin' too old ter learn new tricks, ya know?"

You settle on muscles for all your prinnies, and a fetching scarf for yourself. "You can do that, dood?"

"If ya got enough Hel, ya can do anythin'. Makes th' Netherworld go roun', an' everythin'."

You nod, looking over as Sigil counts out a large amount of your gold. Bonnie looks relieved at the lack of weight on her back before the shopkeeper immediately replaces it with your new purchases, doubling the weight.

"Oh, dood! Can I hire some more Prinnies?"

"Naw, no' here. Ya can go to th' Dark Congress an' petition t' hire some there. Ya got more than enough coin fer it, so shoul'd be a walk in th' park. Y' could probably hire somethin' a it more sturdy if ya wanted to."

Sigil loads on heavy drums of protein powder, Bonnie's flippers almost buckling under her as sweat drips down her brow.

"Dood, so cruel..." One of the other prinnies remarks.

"Serves her right." Says the other.

>More shopping! (Write-In)
>Dark Congress!
>Other (Write-In)

>>41777949
>>Dark Congress!
A good overlord needs minions!

>>41777949
>Dark Congress!

>>41777949
>Dark Congress!
use a wish to recruit senators?

>>41777949
>I wish Bonnie was a Golem Dood!
She can carry more that way.

>>41777949
>Dark Congress!
Gotta bribe them senators

>>41778062
I think the point was about suffering over efficiency. And golems are harder to control.

Much better if we want to repeatedly ally kill her for xp/enjoyment, though.

>>41777949
Writing!

So guys we wanna turn into a Nether Noble or a Dark Knight?

>>41778287
Prinny Gods have some pretty damn base stats, though. Not the best build, but this is PRINNY overlord quest...

>>41778287
The main thing is what are we going to make all of our teammates? We are obviously gonna get followers so what are we going to have them become?

>>41777949
You get directions from the cerberus, and make your way across town to an opulent building, lines of supplicants streaming out the door and around the corner. You frown, sliding down from your pack Prinny/mount and surveying the line. At this rate it'll take days to get in if you just wait patiently. You consider the rod for a moment, but you don't know if you want to use a wish just to get ahead of all these other monsters and demons. then again, you could just bribe your way in, but that would leave less money for bribing senators.

As you consider your next move, the rod twitches in your hand. "What's going on out there?" You explain, and Ginnie hums thoughtfully.

"Could just cut in, dood. Or bribe the people at the front of the line. Or just wait. Not like you have anywhere to be, right?"

You consider her advice as you tie Bonnie to a hitching post, despite her squawks of protest. You pull out some largest treasures, some of the more delicious snacks, and take your place in line. The Dragon ahead of you grumbles and belches smoke, paying you no attention as you sway in place idly, peeking ahead at those further ahead in line. Other demons, monsters, several battle-scarred and ferocious-looking. You consider your options carefully.

Man, you just want to hire some minions. Why does it have to take so long? Minutes pass before the line moves, and then what seems like another half hour before it moves again. You feel as if you're going to lose your mind. Meanwhile, the two Prinnies remaining from the initial pyramid exploration team have taken a seat on top of Bonnie's pack, playing cards and betting sardines.

>Bribe your way to the front of the line
>Try cutting
>Try wishing

Last update tonight. We'll start off next time with the actual Congress

>>41778362
>Make Bonnie wait in line for you. Carrying all the stuff.

Why not hire the monsters in the line?

>>41778602
they wouldn't listen to a prinny. If we offer them money, they're not likely to be loyal without wishes.

This quest has the potential to be the funnest thing ever.

I can't wait until tomorrow.

>>41778868
Don't know if he'll run tomorrow. Check the Twitter.

@LotusEater1031

So what happened to Kobold?

>>41780633
Thanks for the twitter, Anon.

>>41780776
awoooo

>>41780776
Going to try using Prinny to contain the elements people have had issues with in Kobold. I'll be running both.>>4