“No Gen, I don’t know what oppai means. Although it sounds like one of those animemes I hear the kids talk about these days.”

Gennings snorts. “What the fuck sort of kids are you hanging out with who’re saying oppai, Wacko Jacko?”

“Figured it was something fucked up. This better not be like that loli shit you mentioned that one time man. That was fucked.”

“Naw, it just means big titties.”

“Oh alright, I thought it was like some gay pedo shit or something.”

Gen and me are sitting in one of the LL vans, lurking outside some guys house. Apparently he did something to piss off Lt. Conrad mad fierce, because she wants his ass in her office and she wants it now. It was a job that was supposed to go to some mid level flunkies of hers, but ended up getting pushed off onto me instead.

This might seem like a weird conversation, but after 5 hours of stakeout and a water bottle full of piss apiece conversation tends to move to the abnormal.

“Jeez Jason. I don’t know if your assumption is more offensive to the people of glorious Nippon or me.”

I lean forward a bit, peering through tinted windows. We’re pulled into an alley near this guy’s house. He’s been in there for hours now. Almost like he owns the place or something.

>”Listen Gen, I just think that those atomic bombs gave the Japanese something else than just a victim complex and allegorical monster movies.”
>”You. Definitely you. Although to be fair, I was initially pretty trusting when you first mentioned those weird Japanese words to me, so really it’s all your fault.”
>”Gen shut up before I pour my piss bottle on you.”
>”Something something something Niagara Falls.”
>Write In

>>41735480
>>”Listen Gen, I just think that those atomic bombs gave the Japanese something else than just a victim complex and allegorical monster movies.”

Unrelated but, Seeeeeeeenpai! You are finally back!

>>41735480

>”Listen Gen, I just think that those atomic bombs gave the Japanese something else than just a victim complex and allegorical monster movies.”
You're back!

>>41735480
>>”Listen Gen, I just think that those atomic bombs gave the Japanese something else than just a victim complex and allegorical monster movies.”
>>”You. Definitely you. Although to be fair, I was initially pretty trusting when you first mentioned those weird Japanese words to me, so really it’s all your fault.”

Good to have you back!

>>41735480
>>”Listen Gen, I just think that those atomic bombs gave the Japanese something else than just a victim complex and allegorical monster movies.”

>>41735480
>>”Listen Gen, I just think that those atomic bombs gave the Japanese something else than just a victim complex and allegorical monster movies.”
>>”You. Definitely you. Although to be fair, I was initially pretty trusting when you first mentioned those weird Japanese words to me, so really it’s all your fault.”

>>41735480
>”Gen shut up before I pour my piss bottle on you.”

>>41735480
>Have you ever actually BEEN to Japan?

>>41735480
>>”You. Definitely you. Although to be fair, I was initially pretty trusting when you first mentioned those weird Japanese words to me, so really it’s all your fault.”


I realize this is probably too late to count, but whatever.

I sigh, and decide to stop squinting at a house that no one is about to step out of. ”Listen Gen, I just think that those atomic bombs gave the Japanese something else than just a victim complex and allegorical monster movies.”

“Pretty sure that’s racist. And not in a cultural sense either, you’re implying their DNA is fucked up.”

“Well Gen, how else are you going to explain a society that came up with shit like tentacle porn? Normal people don’t think of that. We didn’t think of it, and we’ve got three times as many people living here to think up weird sexual shit.”

“Maybe all the radiation just turned all the octopuses horny or something?”

I grunt, and look back out the window. “A watched mark never appears,” Gen murmurs sagely as I glower outside.

“Gen, shut up before I pour my piss bottle on you.”

“Oh, are we feeling a mite testy?”

“Gen, I’ve been stuck in an unmoving car for the last 5 hours with a bottle of my own urine. Who the hell wouldn’t be testy?”

“Well then why the hell did you offer to take care of this?”

“You know perfectly well why, we need to curry favor with the other Lieutenants.”

“Coulda picked a job that was less of a pain in the ass,” Gen mutters, “Surely Conrad needed something smashed up. You’re good at that, right?”

I grunt noncommittally. I was good at that, but beggars can’t be choosers.

>”Gen, if Conrad wanted this guy so badly he either did something to piss her off, or he knows something he shouldn’t. Either way, if we can figure out why she wants him, we might gain a valuable bit of bargaining information.”
>”Listen man, we had to do something to get in with the other Lts. The meet up with EnRA is coming soon, now isn’t the time to be particular.”
>”I’m pretty sure Conrad has a tamed troll or something on hand. I think she’s covered in the smashing department.”
>Write in

>>41736298
>>”Listen man, we had to do something to get in with the other Lts. The meet up with EnRA is coming soon, now isn’t the time to be particular.”

Besides
>"If Conrad wanted this guy so badly he either did something to piss her off, or he knows something he shouldn’t. Either way, if we can figure out why she wants him, we might gain a valuable bit of bargaining information.”

>>41736298
>>”Gen, if Conrad wanted this guy so badly he either did something to piss her off, or he knows something he shouldn’t. Either way, if we can figure out why she wants him, we might gain a valuable bit of bargaining information.”

>>41736298
>”I’m pretty sure Conrad has a tamed troll or something on hand. I think she’s covered in the smashing department.”

>>41736298
>”I’m pretty sure Conrad has a tamed troll or something on hand. I think she’s covered in the smashing department.”

>>41736298
>>”Gen, if Conrad wanted this guy so badly he either did something to piss her off, or he knows something he shouldn’t. Either way, if we can figure out why she wants him, we might gain a valuable bit of bargaining information.”

>>41736298
>>”Gen, if Conrad wanted this guy so badly he either did something to piss her off, or he knows something he shouldn’t. Either way, if we can figure out why she wants him, we might gain a valuable bit of bargaining information.”

>>41736298
>”I’m pretty sure Conrad has a tamed troll or something on hand. I think she’s covered in the smashing department.”

So, question - why would the LT reveal herself to the gnome's family if she's been keeping such a low profile that even her gender is unknown to enra?

>>41736550
I think they've been friends since before she made LT

”Gen, if Conrad wanted this guy so badly he either did something to piss her off, or he knows something he shouldn’t. Either way, if we can figure out why she wants him, we might gain a valuable bit of bargaining information.”

“That seems a little too conniving to really be a gesture of support and team spirit.”

“We are criminals. You do know that right?”

“Well sure, just don’t really see why we have to go full Mean Girls here.”

“Gen, I’m like guilty of sooooo many homicides. And you’re definitely guilty with aiding and abetting. Difference of scale man.”


“I dunno dude, feeding Regina Kalteen bars and saying they’re for weight loss is kinda fucked.”

“You watch too much Tina Fey shit. Besides I’m pretty sure Conrad has a tamed troll or something on hand. I think she’s covered in the smashing department.”

Gen shakes his head and sighs. “Doesn’t speak well for your skillset, when you basically can be replaced by a troll. Aren’t they like, only borderline sapient?”

“At least they’re not about to be soaked in my piss.”

“Don’t Jarate me,” Genning says a little nervously. “Oh shit! Look! The door’s opening.”

I immediately perk up. Could this be the expected break?!

“Fucking hell,” I moan as some kid plods out resentfully, carrying a bag of trash. “I’m about to lose my damn mind.”

“We could always just like take the kid.”

I give Gennings a look. “I’m not enabling your magical realm.”

“You wanna keep on sitting around here? Cause I’m about 200% done with this shit. This was not worth the baconator you promised me.”

>”You know what? I’ll just break in and abduct the guy. Easy peasy. You can out drive the cops, right?”
>”We gotta wait until he leaves. He has to at some point, according to Conrad he’s got a smoking habit and the wife won’t let him do it indoors.”
>Write in

>>41736788
>>”We gotta wait until he leaves. He has to at some point, according to Conrad he’s got a smoking habit and the wife won’t let him do it indoors.”

We have too much shit on our plate with the EnRA and everything to start being overt cause of impatience.

>>41736788
>”We gotta wait until he leaves. He has to at some point, according to Conrad he’s got a smoking habit and the wife won’t let him do it indoors.”

>>41736826
>We have too much shit on our plate with the EnRA and everything to start being overt cause of impatience.
>to start being overt
>start

Anon...

>>41736850
Okay okay. Bring MORE attention to ourselves.

>>41736788
>>”We gotta wait until he leaves. He has to at some point, according to Conrad he’s got a smoking habit and the wife won’t let him do it indoors.”

>>41736788
>>”We gotta wait until he leaves. He has to at some point, according to Conrad he’s got a smoking habit and the wife won’t let him do it indoors.”

>>41736788
>>”We gotta wait until he leaves. He has to at some point, according to Conrad he’s got a smoking habit and the wife won’t let him do it indoors.”


Alternatively, we wait for him to go to bed and steal him while he's sleeping.

I sigh and shake my head. ”We gotta wait until he leaves. He has to at some point, according to Conrad he’s got a smoking habit and the wife won’t let him do it indoors.”

Gennings groans loudly “I am about to die.”

Two hours later, and Gennings isn’t dead yet. We both came dangerously close to pouring piss onto each other, before making a solemn pact around the 6 hour mark that we would do it to the abductee once we got him for making us wait for so long. This newly forged bond of fellowship mitigated much of the tension for the last hour. At least it did until Gennings started slapping my arm.

“What, what the fuck is it,” I snarl, unreclining my seat.

“Look,” Gennings whispers loudly. “Looook.”

I stare out into the inky darkness of the semi-urban night, lit only be street lights, lights from the city, lit up windows… okay it’s actually fairly bright outside. Then I see it. At the sidewalk in front of his house, someone flickering a lighter.

“Mother of fuck.”

“Okay how do we do this, how do we do this?”

You feel around the van for the tools you took with you, a pair of handcuffs, duct tape, mace, and a nightstick, while watching the guy out on the sidewalk. He’s standing well past the waist-high fence that surrounds his yard, the gate behind him is closed. He’s looking down right now, hands in front of his face, one holding the lighter, the other cupping it, protecting the flame from the breeze.

>Tell Gennings how you do this. Then roll for the winning plan.

>>41737200
if we're in the van:
we go to the back of the van next to the side door
drive past him with the side door open.
grab him while the van is moving
close door
????
SUCCESS!

>>41737200
Wind Walk over to him.
Knock him out with the nightstick.
Restrain him.
Wind Walk back to the Van carrying him.

>>41737200
We get out of the van with the nightstick and the cuffs while Gennings starts the van and sneak up on the target. Then, we smack him in the back of the knees with the stick and handcuff him while Gennings pulls up. We hop in the van with the target and book it.

simple.

>>41737200
> Dumping piss on the abductee

At some point, should we give him our bottle when he asks for a drink?

>>41737200
>>41737318
I like this plan

So it seems like we wind walk to the target, nightstick and cuff him while Gennings pulls the van up.

Rolls, I'll need like 4 or 5 of them.

Rolled 9, 1, 5 = 15 (3d10)

>>41737509
SEEEEENPAI!

Rolled 4, 7, 2 = 13 (3d10)

>>41737509
RNGesus please don't fuck us.

Rolled 6, 4, 7 = 17 (3d10)

>>41737509
Thats a lot of dice.

Rolled 6, 1, 10 = 17 (3d10)

>>41737509

Rolled 9, 5, 10 = 24 (3d10)

>>41737509

Rolled 7, 4, 9 = 20 (3d10)

>>41737509

how average.

>>41737580
I dunno, the 24 is solid.

>>41737599
yeah I auto-posted that so it came after I had finished typing and wasn't paying attention. I meant the 15, 13, 17, 17

“Listen, I’ll hop out and wind walk to the guy and restrain him. While I’m doing that you bring the van around and I’ll hop in and we drive off into the sunset. Sounds good?”

“Sure,” Gennings says, utterly neutrally.

“Don’t get too excited here.”

“Just get going. Maybe we can grab that Baconator on the way back.”

“Yeah let’s do that with an abductee hogtied in the back. It’ll go over great at the pick up window.”

“Just hurry up! I am not going to wait and miss this opportunity.”

Muttering darkly to myself, I climb out of the car, nightstick and plastic cuffs in hand. I need to move fast. This guy needs to be down and out quickly, he’s still plainly visible from multiple houses and angles. At this point, it’s less about bringing him down surreptitiously and more about doing it quick to limit the risk of someone witnessing it.

I inhale deeply, focusing on the runic power etched into my legs. I can feel the wind pick up, pushing against my back, circling around me, lifting me up, making me lighter and lighter until I barely feel connected to the earth any more.

“Gotta go fast,” I smirk.

My feet pound the ground, each step propelling me in low bounding leap, sending me hurtling through the air. Air whips around my face as I speed forward, turning on a dime and bolting towards the smoking man.

His lighter blows out as I approach, and he beings to look up, irritated.

The nightstick strikes with savage precision force reveberating up the dark plastic stick and into my arm, hitting a nerve cluster at the back of the man’s leg, above the knee. A hand pressed firmly over his mouth muffles his cry of pain as he collapses onto the ground, his right leg very suddenly useless.

I slide the baton into my belt and fumble with the handcuffs, eventually tightening them around his wrists. I glance up and look around. Gennings is almost there with the van. I don’t think I can see anyone at any of the windows. The van stops in front of me with a squeal of tires against the asphalt. I seize the man by the back collar of his shirt and his belt and toss him unceremoniously into the back of the vehicle. He smashes into the floor, and I’m pretty sure I can already see blood.

Great, broke his nose. Hope Conrad wasn’t planning to do that. I’d hate to take away her fun.

I climb into the back of the van with the man and slap the back of Genning’s seat. “Go go go go!”

“Oh, go? I thought we were just gonna sit around here until the cops showed up,” Gennings says peevishly, accelerating anyway.

“Listen, sorry man,” I grunt, “I’m just not used to this abducting business.”

The man in the back of the car, sits up, moaning loudly. “Christ ow. I think you broke my nose.”

I pull out the roll of duct tape and attempt to cover his mouth. The tape doesn’t hold on the slick surface. “Fuck.”

The man snorts, splattering a shitload of blood everywhere. “Idiot.”

“Well, he’s got you pegged J.”

“Fuck both of you,” I grumble. “And why aren’t you more scared, you just got hauled off the road by a bunch of strangers.”

The man shrugs. “Eh, what are you gonna do about it.”

“This is not going at all how I expected.”

“Does this mean we can get Baconators now?”

“Hey I want a Baconator,” the man says hopefully.

>”Who the hell are you?”
>”So, does this happen regularly to you?”
>”Jesus, you’re quite stoic.”
>Write in
>Attempt to duct tape his mouth again and regain control of the situation. Roll a 3d10

>>41738345
>”Who the hell are you?”
>”So, does this happen regularly to you?”

>>41738345
>>Write in
Yeah, fuck, let's get some fucking Baconators now!

>>41738345
>>”So, does this happen regularly to you?”
Get the man a baconator for shit and giggles

>>41738345
>>”Who the hell are you?”
>>”So, does this happen regularly to you?”

>>41738345
>”So, does this happen regularly to you?”

>>41738369
YYYYEEEEAAAAUUUUHHHH, GIT SOM BACONATORS UP IN DIS SHEET HERE!

>>41738345
....what's a Baconator

>We'll get you a Baconator if you let us douse you in piss.

>>41738416
Bacon bacon bacon hamburger

File: images.duckduckgo.com.jpg (234 KB, 930x495)

234 KB JPG

>>41738416

It's basically a fast food burger with a lot of bacon.

>>41738345
>Write in
fuck it sure.

Can we get some Baconator Fries to go with all of our Baconators?

>>41738562
>Yes, OK, you can get some Baconator Fries.
>Oh, and a chocolate Frosty, too!
>Don't push it.

heh... I wonder how LT will react to us being late because we took the abductee for some baconators.

Hey, should we snag the Elf for some Baconators, too?

>>41738709
Why? Unless you want to give the whole department Baconators. Besides we are going to Conrad's.

>>41738688
I don't think she really expect us to come back soon. Abducting is a difficult job you know.

What might be harder to explain is the smell of bacon and despair.

>>41738743
you have to take into account the food coma that sets in after a good baconator.

>>41738727
I'm hoping she's a vegetarian or vegan, so we can do some sort of misguided bonding thing.

>>41738774
You forgot the diarrhea and sadness that comes soon after.

>>41738775
We didn't hire her and we don't really know where she currently is anyways. Just let it go.

>>41738796
we might be late by days...

“...Fuck it. Sure.”

“Yeahhhhhh!” Exclaim both Gennings and our abductee.

“I’d high-five you if I could, but…” says the abductee to my driver.

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” I grumble.

“Then how will I eat my deliciously bacony Baconator from Wendys™?”

“I dunno I’ll fucking feed it to you or something… You don’t seem terribly impressed, does this happen often to you?”

The man shrugs. “Eh, periodically. Conrad probably sent you guys, yeah? She’s usually the one who has me abducted.”

Both Genning and I make noises. “Wait, this happens often? What the fuck? Who are you?”

The man scoffs. “Oh I’m nobody important, just Dale the informant. So it’s Conrad, right?”

“I mean…”

“Knew it. Hey driver, you think we can get some Baconator fries to go with all of our Baconators?”

“I dunno, ask the big guy. He’s paying.”

Dale looks at me expectantly. “Well…?”


“I mean…”

“You did break my nose you know.”

“... fuck it. Fine. We’ll get an order or two of Baconator fires.”

“Oh hey, can I get a chocolate frosty too? The vanilla ones get aren’t nearly as good.”

“Don’t push your luck.”

…

“Yeah, that’s three Baconators, two orders of Baconator fries, and a chocolate frosty.”

“Alright sir, just come around to the next window to pay and pick up your order.”

I settle back in the passenger seat as Gennings drive over to the pick up window. Dale the Informant is sitting in the passenger seat in the back, hands free and some napkins we found in one of the seat pockets jammed up both nostrils.

“Listen, I’m not saying there’s anything morally wrong with vanilla frosties Gen, but they just are strictly inferior to the chocolate ones.”

“Listen man, just cause you’ve got a bias toward chocolate flavor doesn’t mean everything chocolate is objectively better than everything vanilla.”

“Oh come on, vanilla is basically just glorified sugar. Chocolate has the capacity for really interesting flavors. It’s like a flavor evolved over vanilla. You’re with me on this, right J?”

>”Sorry Dale, Vanilla is pretty awesome. Especially as ice cream goes. Just pairs better with things.”
>”Dale’s right Gen. Chocolate is just more interesting a flavor. Vanilla is essentially just a slightly gussied up version of sugar.”
>”Shut the fuck up, both of you. I can’t hear how much the damn order is.”
>Write in

>>41738920
>>”Dale’s right Gen. Chocolate is just more interesting a flavor. Vanilla is essentially just a slightly gussied up version of sugar.”

>>41738920
>”Shut the fuck up, both of you. I can’t hear how much the damn order is.”
besides raspberry is clearly the superior flavour

>>41738920
>”Shut the fuck up, both of you. I can’t hear how much the damn order is.”

>>41738920
>>”Sorry Dale, Vanilla is pretty awesome. Especially as ice cream goes. Just pairs better with things.”

>captcha image select is ice cream
IT KNOWS

>>41738920
>Write in
"cheap vanilla is basically just sugar, but good vanilla beats chocolate any day"

>>41738920
>>Write in
Guize, I've got it.

What if we buy a chocolate frosty and a vanilla frosty, then, here me out guize...

EAT BOTH OF THEM.

>>41738978
this is a good point. Are we talking real vanilla or that fake shit?

>>41738920
>Fastfood vanilla? Gussied up sugar. REAL vanilla, that stuff's the tits.

>>41738920
>>”Dale’s right Gen. Chocolate is just more interesting a flavor. Vanilla is essentially just a slightly gussied up version of sugar.”
Through Cherry and Pistachio are both superior

>>41738920
>>”Shut the fuck up, both of you. I can’t hear how much the damn order is.”

>>41738978
This is true.

“Dale’s right, Gen. Fast food vanilla is basically just fancy sugar. Real vanilla can compete with chocolate. Now shut the fuck up both of you, I can’t hear how much the damn order is.”

The cashier looks slightly peeved as she runs through the order once more. “So in total that’ll be 27.54 plus tax.”

“Christ on a cracker this is drive thru robbery,” I mutter as I palm around for my wallet.

“Hey, hey J. Are these… are these bottles of piss?”

I glower back at Dale, who is waving around one of the bottles of piss. “They’re lemonade. Take a sip if you want.”

I turn back to the cashier, who’s giving me a look. She plucks the bills from my hand, taking care not to touch my fingers.

Bitch.

“I dunno man, really look like piss.”

“Dale, shut the fuck up, I swear to god.”

The cashier hands me the order of food, and Gennings pulls out and drives off towards Conrad’s head quarters. We eat in silence, too intent on devouring the food before us to even consider talking.

Or the amount of trans fats we’ve just ingested.

By the time Gennings pulls up to Conrad’s head quarters we’ve finished eating all the food, and are starting to feel that unique sense of shame when you consume half a day’s calories in about 20 minutes. Conrad’s head quarters is an office building, much like LT’s. The similarities stop there, however. While we operate out of a squat five story building, Conrad owns a real office tower, at least 20 to 30 stories tall. The building would tower over our own. From what I hear, most of the office is rented out to other businesses. Ones that make up the core stable of subsidiary operations that keep Conrad one of the richest lieutenants in Saintsburgh.

It’s late, so we quickly pass through building security, hauling along Dale, back in handcuffs, napkins still jammed up his nose.

Eventually we arrive at the top floor, where Conrad’s office is situated. After passing through a metal detector, a guard waves us on into her office.

Conrad’s office is pretty huge, the entire back wall just windows looking out over the city. Conrad spins around slowly in a large high backed chair, just like LT does. I wonder if that’s something they teach lieutenants before they can get the position.

“Ah, I see you’ve brought someone to see me, Enforcer Reinhardt. And not too battered as well.”

>”Of course, Lieutenant Conrad. Will there be anything else you require?”
>”Hey, my boss said you were my temporary boss, boss.”
>”I assumed you might want to do that yourself.”
>Write in

>>41739403
>>”Hey, my boss said you were my temporary boss, boss.”

>>41739383
>”Hey, my boss said you were my temporary boss, boss.”
Thug Lyfe.
We need to get a necklace that says Thug Lyfe to go along with our vader mask for out future diplomatic meeting with EnRA

>>41739403
BATHROOM. NOW.

(Sprint off to nearest bathroom)

>>41739403
>”Hey, my boss said you were my temporary boss, boss.”

>>41739403
>>”Hey, my boss said you were my temporary boss, boss.”

>>41739448
Agreed.

>>41739403
>”I assumed you might want to do that yourself.”

>>41739597
I wasn't sure he wouldn't throw that back in our face as if we were an uncultured thug - despite all of us being up jumped thugs - so figured we should just go with flippant.

I nod in Conrad’s direction. ”Hey, my boss said you were my temporary boss, boss.”

Conrad raises a steely grey eyebrow. “I suppose it’s a good thing you have such a lighthearted attitude towards your work. Very well then. Finish the job.”

I blink, taken aback. “Excuse me?”

“I can tell from the condition of his nose, there’s already been a bit of a beating. Finish the job.”

“I… I…”

Lieutenant Conrad raises an eyebrow. “I am the boss, right?”

>”I uh, like beaten so that he learns his lesson?”
>”Like… finish the job how exactly?”
>”Wait, what’s happening here?”
>”I mean okay… you’re the boss.”
>”No. Not until I hear what’s going on right now.”
>Write in

>>41739656
but we are an uncultured thug. And we know it too since we constantly beat people up (thug) and we have a reminder of our level of culture sitting in our stomach.

>>41739724
>>”I mean okay… you’re the boss.”

>>41739724
>>”I uh, like beaten so that he learns his lesson?”
>”I mean okay… you’re the boss.”

"Sorry Dale."

>>41739724
>Write in
Sure. Death or just a beating?

>>41739724
>>”Like… finish the job how exactly?”

"Gonna need a bit of clarification here about what you mean, boss"

>>41739750
this
psychopath best trait

>>41739724
>>”Like… finish the job how exactly?”
Not sure what he means here.

>>41739724
>”Like… finish the job how exactly?”

>>41739750
>Sure. Death or just a beating? At best LT gets a headache, at worst people remember what they pay us for.
Agreed.
>>41739791
I would have gone with "godlike intuition in any situation" for that one, but sure whichever.

“How finished do you want this job to be exactly, boss?”

Conrad pauses for a second, before turning around and walking back behind his desk. He shuffles around for a little bit before returning with a golf club in hand. He flips the clup in his hand with the laziness of a well practiced maneuver, grabbing the head and holding the handle out to me, staring coldly. “Mortally finished.”

I turn around and look down at Dale the Informant, whose face has yet to progress past shock.

>”Wait. Why? What did he do?”
>”Sorry Dale…”
>write in

>>41739993
>>”Sorry Dale…”

>>41739993
>>”Sorry Dale…”

>>41739993
>>”Sorry Dale…”
At least he got a last meal...

>>41739993
Could you explain to me why you got me to wait for 7 hours in a van and kidnap him, bring him here if you just wanted me to kill him!?

I bonded with the guy!

>>41739993
>>”Sorry Dale…”

>>41739993
>>”Sorry Dale…”
Baconator is an odd last meal but not the worst.

>>41739993
>write in
good news Dave you don't have to worry about that baconator anymore.

>>41739993
>>”Sorry Dale…”

At least we weren't a complete dick to him.

>>41739993
>write in
"If you want me to do it, you'll have to tell me what he did."

>>41739993
>>”Sorry Dale…”

But next time, don't waste my time when I could have iced him in the van. This is basic time management, temporary-LT.

>>41740059
kek wrong name.

>>41739993
Something seems off here. Is it just me?

>>41740115
Something is off, but I don't its our place to question, especially when LT's relationship with the other lieutenants is on the line.

>>41740115
The fact that we brought him to his room, for example. Seems like a test.

>>41740115
we constantly kill people.
This guy is an informant.
I really don't see anything out of the ordinary here.
He might have fed bad info, withheld info or a thousand other reasons to get himself killed.
It's just another moron with a shattered pelvis.

>>41740115
Yeah. Wasn't sure if he is testing us, or covering up tracks somehow. Like, killing this guy to clean up a mess, then being able to say with 100% truthfulness that neither he nor anyone under him in the organization killed the guy.

>>41740161
The only off thing is why sub-LT got us to kidnap him in the first place.

We could have already dealt with him and disposed of the body by now.

>>41740203
he gets a boner from ordering the deaths of others?
He needs to make sure this guy is dead so he witnesses the death with his own eyes?
this is meant to teach a lesson to someone else that is watching?

>>41740161
I am aware that Jason is a murderer. From the way he's been played, he tends towards nice at times, and a bit moralfag at times, but that's irrelevant here.

What feels off is that we were told to kidnap him, find out he's an informant and acquainted with Conrad... and then told to kill him. In Conrad's office.

Something is definitely up here. But we can't really question it, without bringing shit down on our heads, so I guess we'll have to find out.

>>41739993
>”Sorry Dale…”

>>41740286
What shit? Its a perfectly reasonable question to ask, as someone in our position. THATS why this entire job stinks. This shouldnt be ours.

>>41740308
For one, it's questioning someone who's our superior, and not one we're familiar with either. It's also showing weakness of a sorts to other LL branches, which casts a bad shadow on our LT.

It can lead to some bad places, all I'm sayin' here.

>>41740286
I seriously dislike the moralfagging that often plagues a more criminal character and I agree that the question might be legitimate if it was our own LT giving the order but we have no idea about this situation and we're not here long enough for us to need to know.

I reach out and grab the proffered handle. Swallowing, I turn around, and face the man kneeling before me.

“Sorry Dale…”

…

The club is dripping. I can hear droplets strike the hardwood flooring. I blink. The dripping continues. And suddenly the club is pulled out of my hand. I can hear a voice, it is distant.

“Well, good it looks like you can follow orders.”

There’s some shuffling in the distance. The club clattering against it’s brothers as it goes back into the bag. I continue to stare at the growing red puddle on the floor.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Conrad lean back against his desk, hands spread along the shiny surface. “You wanted to know what’s going on. I’ll tell you.”

Conrad taps his foot against the ground for a second before continuing. “Dale was two timing. Don’t know if there was a larger paycheck on offer, or if he suddenly developed a conscience, or if the cops had dirt on him, but it doesn’t matter. He was feeding our movements to the police.”

Conrad stands up and begins walking in a slow circle around me and Dale’s body. “A lot of people think Limited Liability is soft because we work with the police. They’ve got it all wrong. We don’t work for the police, we don’t work with the police. The police work for us.”

Suddenly Conrad is standing in front of me. It’s impossible to not make eye contact. His eyes shine like chips of ice, bright and cold. “You let your Lieutenant know that. You let her know that. She’s gotten EnRA to do her dirty work before. I know about the arsenal you guys ran away with after driving out TK15, I’m impressed. You came out even stronger after a confrontation with a rival syndicate. A thug like Brodzinsky could never manage it. But make sure she knows, make sure she remembers where her loyalties ultimately lie.”

>”Is that all, sir?”
>”You make sure you remember where my loyalties lie too, Conrad.”
>”If he was an informant, why didn’t you say so in the first place?”
>”Why go to all the trouble of abducting him if you were just going to kill him?”
>Write in

>>41740391
>>”You make sure you remember where my loyalties lie too, Conrad.”
Then
>”Is that all, sir?”

>>41740391
>”Why go to all the trouble of abducting him if you were just going to kill him?”

>>41740410
>>”Is that all, sir?”

>>41740391
>”Is that all, sir?”

Then

>”Why go to all the trouble of abducting him if you were just going to kill him?”

>>41740391
>”Is that all, sir?”

>>41740364
I think the moralfagging gives Jason a deeper character. Just because he's a criminal, and a 'bad guy', doesn't mean he has to be a puppy-kicking villain. It humanizes him in a way, if he can show a bit of a moral side when he's not doing his job. It shouldn't get in the way of his job, but aside from that... why not?

>>41740410
>”Why go to all the trouble of abducting him if you were just going to kill him?”
>”Is that all, sir?”

>>41740410
>Write in
You know you could have just asked me to kill him. Would have saved a lot of trouble and my money if I didn't have to pay for the dead guys lunch.

>>41740445

Mainly because it's not possible to separate the "not on job moralfag" from "on job psychopath". A good example is this one: If Jason had psychopathic tendencies he could easily be friendly to people and sometimes charming without feeling any remorse when that order was given. That's also why I've made write ins that are more jokey and carefree even after killing someone. In my mind Jason doesn't care about human life.

>>41740410
>”Why go to all the trouble of abducting him if you were just going to kill him?”
>”Is that all, sir?”
Finally, bill him for Dale's Baconator meal.

>>41740539
or was that sociopath? I always confuse the two.

>>41740591
>Finally, bill him for Dale's Baconator meal.

Love it.

>>41740391
>>”Why go to all the trouble of abducting him if you were just going to kill him?”

Could have killed that mugga over an hour ago and been home by now.

Efficiency, never heard of it?

I blink and stare back into Conrad’s icy eyes. ”You make sure you remember where my loyalties lie too, Conrad.”

Conrad smirks, before breaking into a genuine smile. “I’d expect nothing less.”

He turns around and begins to walk back to his desk, I slowly turn, following his progress. “Is that all, sir?”

“Yes, that will be all Enforcer. Thank you for your time.”

I walk up next to Gennings, who has been silent ever since Conrad gave the order. I lightly grab his arm. “C’mon Gen, we should go.”

“Why,” Gennings croaks, looking at Conrad with a mixture of shock and horror. “Why make us kidnap him if it was just to kill him?”

Conrad cocks an eyebrow. “To send a message.”

I gently pull Gennings along with me, and we leave Conrad’s office.

…

“Evening Jason,” LT says, barely suppressing a yawn. “I didn’t think you’d be out for quite so long. What on earth did Conrad have you doing?”

>Quickly and neutrally relay the events of the evening
>Relay the events of the evening in greater detail. Mention the Wendy’s trip
>”Oh, nothing much.”
>Write in

>>41740591
Fuck it, it's just too damn cheeky to ignore.

>>41740699
>”Oh, nothing much.”
>Relay the events of the evening in greater detail. Mention the Wendy’s trip

>>41740699
Lots of reminders.

>>41740706
>>41740638
>>41740591
NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo-

>>41740699
>Relay the events of the evening in greater detail. Mention the Wendy’s trip

>>41740699
>>Quickly and neutrally relay the events of the evening

>>41740591
>Finally, bill him for Dale's Baconator meal.
Dammit, that would have been perfect.

>>41740699
>>Relay the events of the evening in greater detail. Mention the Wendy’s trip
See if she can't send him an invoice.

>>41740699
>Write in
looks like we're successful enough that other LL offices are feeling threatened.
>Relay the events of the evening in greater detail. Mention the Wendy’s trip

>>41740726
>NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo-
As in "don't do this", or as in "too late to do it".

>>41740834
>"too late to do it".
That.

I relay the events of the evening quickly, but make sure to include all relevant details. Including the Wendy’s trip. I can only manage to make eye contact with LT after I finish, glancing up at her after spending the last several minutes staring rather determinedly at the right foot of her desk.

LT looks more than a little ill. “Oh no… Oh my god. I never would have expected something like that from Conrad. He always seemed so much more… composed at meetings.”

I nod once. I didn’t honestly expect it from him either. Compared to the predatory Brodzinsky or the temperamental Vespucci, Conrad seemed borderline placid. I suppose you don’t really become an LL lieutenant by being placid though.

>”The message was clear. He’s watching the negotiation with EnRA. He’ll be deciding what he’ll do based on that.”
>”LT, I think I might need a personal day or two.”
>”What are we going to do about this? He implicitly threatened you. I can’t let that stand.”
>”I need to go, I need to see how Gennings is doing.”
>”I.... I don’t know if I’m cut out for this LT. I don’t think I can do it. He liked chocolate frosties, you know? Thought vanilla was shit.”
>Write in

>>41740928
>>”The message was clear. He’s watching the negotiation with EnRA. He’ll be deciding what he’ll do based on that.”
>”I need to go, I need to see how Gennings is doing.”
>”I.... I don’t know if I’m cut out for this LT. I don’t think I can do it. He liked chocolate frosties, you know? Thought vanilla was shit.”

>>41740928
>>>”The message was clear. He’s watching the negotiation with EnRA. He’ll be deciding what he’ll do based on that.”
>>”LT, I think I might need a personal day or two.”

>>41740928
>>”The message was clear. He’s watching the negotiation with EnRA. He’ll be deciding what he’ll do based on that.”
>>”What are we going to do about this? He implicitly threatened you. I can’t let that stand.”

>>41740972
>Jason has been around the block, it sucked sure but this some of these seem a little much.
Yeah, Gennings I could see, but personal day and not cut out for this? Nah.

>>41740928
>>”The message was clear. He’s watching the negotiation with EnRA. He’ll be deciding what he’ll do based on that.”
>>”What are we going to do about this? He implicitly threatened you. I can’t let that stand.”

>>41740928
>>”The message was clear. He’s watching the negotiation with EnRA. He’ll be deciding what he’ll do based on that.”
>>”What are we going to do about this? He implicitly threatened you. I can’t let that stand.”

Can't seem to make up my mind. Fuck it I am sticking with my guns here.

>>41740928
>”The message was clear. He’s watching the negotiation with EnRA. He’ll be deciding what he’ll do based on that.”
>”What are we going to do about this? He implicitly threatened you. I can’t let that stand.”

>>41740928
>>”The message was clear. He’s watching the negotiation with EnRA. He’ll be deciding what he’ll do based on that.”
>>”What are we going to do about this? He implicitly threatened you. I can’t let that stand.”

And
>Write in
"What do we need to do to keep him from taking a closer interest in us? Inter-organizational rivalry is everywhere, but we need a lot more resources before we can stop sweating attention from Conrad."

I swallow. ”The message was clear. He’s watching the negotiation with EnRA. He’ll be deciding what he’ll do based on that.”

“Yeah,” murmurs LT. “Damn. Damn damn damn. I thought he’d be our best hope for an alliance against Brodzinsky. His territory borders Brodzinsky’s too. I’d have been sure that he’d want to keep Brodzinsky suppressed, same as us.”

“At least… at least you did what he demanded Jason. I shudder to think what would have happened to you and Gen if you hadn’t complied.”

“Yeah… It’s be our deaths sending the message.”

“Almost certainly.”

“But what are we going to do about this? He’s made an implicit threat against you. I can’t let that stand.”

“You have to,” LT says swiftly and firmly. “You have to for now. We can’t alienate the other lieutenants right now, not when we’re easily the weakest branch in Saintsburgh.”

“But LT,” I snarl, anger suddenly surging, “He threatened you!”

“I know Jason,” LT replies, sitting down at her desk, finger steepled. “And one day there will be a reckoning. He will regret using you to make his threats. You are mine, and one day he will learn that lesson. But not today.”

I am about to speak again, but swallow my words and nod instead. “Of course LT… it’s late. I’ll be clocking out now.”

Lt nods. “Very well Jason. Take a personal day too. I don’t have any projects scheduled for you in the near future anyway.”

“I… I don’t need one LT.”

LT smiles sadly. “I know, but take one anyway. It’s late, and we all need a rest… some more than most.”

Alright, that's all for today. Probably do an Amber thread next time, whenever next time is. Can't be sure, so check the twitter for updates.

>>41741295
Newcomer here, nice quest, easily the most enjoyable one I've read in months. Keep it up, thanks for the thread.

>>41741295
Thanks for the run boss.

When we having the meeting?

>>41741295
>Alright, that's all for today. Probably do an Amber thread next time, whenever next time is. Can't be sure, so check the twitter for updates.
Waiting warmly.

>>41741295
Thanks for coming back, senpai~

>>41741295
Thanks for running man. Till next time.

>>41741324
About two weeks, maybe a bit less in terms of quest time.

>>41741303
Always nice to meet a new player anon. Glad you're enjoying it.

>>41741354
>>41741351
>>41741329
See ya'll later

>>41741276
When the fuck are we going to get the drinks out with LT? Cause that was the right moment if ever there was one.

>>41741615
Its going to be like Phasing in Homeless Mutant Quest.

>>41741625
wut?