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“That went better than I expected it would.” Will nods appreciatively. “How did you get the stable-guy to look after our horses, anyway?”

“I’m just that good.” I wink.

“She traded him that extra horse that followed us.” Ava smiles.

I sigh. “Oh, come on, Ava, I know you’re the princess and all, but do you really have to give away all of my secrets?!”

The guard stumbles out of the stables, sniffling. “…I helped kidnap the princess… isn’t that high treason? I’m - I’m a high treason-er! What do they even DO to people who commit high treason? is that just the stocks for life? oh god I’m going to the stocks for life noooo”

Will ignores her. “So, Raban, what are we doing in town anyway? The king and his wizard have probably put up wanted posters for us everywhere!”

Ava speaks up. “Well, we need food and water and stuff, as well as rest. We can’t just ride the horses forever.”

“Not to mention that the princess and I are overdue for…” I cough. “…intimacy.”

Will crosses his arms, glaring. “Nuh-uh, Raban. You still can’t fuck the princess. Not until you find some way to turn me back into a dude.”

obv we find another wizard.

>>41611421

Come on Will, give it a shot! Who knows, you might like it....

>I helped kidnap the princess… isn’t that high treason?
No no, you're supposed to follow royal orders, right? So long as you keep doing what the princess tells you you're fine. Don't worry, dear. Right, Ava? She's your escort, not your kidnapper.

>Nuh-uh, Raban. You still can’t fuck the princess. Not until you find some way to turn me back into a dude
Hey, dude. I got you laid. I was a good wingwoman to you, you be a good wingwoman for me. We'll get your junk back as soon as we find another wizard.

Also you probably want to stop boxblocking the princess. She's our best bet of getting out of this not in a dungeon. Well, unless she's into that.

>Well, we need food and water and stuff, as well as rest.
We still have that bag of tax money to pay for shit right? I don't think we ever handed it over. ...hand the money over to the princess. That makes it legit. Then we're not totally tax thieves and as a royal she can spend it however she so wishes.

>>41611421
We can do that after I test how this curse works. For now, let's find an inn.

>>41611421
Oh, I missed this starting. Well, let's start by hearing if the princess knows of any wizards, maybe ask around, then. Though he's a fool to nto appreciate his superior body!

Gotta pool our resources, we may have to come up with a quick scheme to make dosh before anything else if we are as broke as I assume.

>>41611421

>To the Guard:

"Hey's it's okay--you didn't help kidnap her, you helped save her from a boring life!"

>>41612213
Now awaits the life of adventure*!

*Do we do any adventuring?

We should probably get a name for Guard, huh...

>>41612306

Does in the bedroom count?

>>41612450
I dunno, I don't have the adventurer's handbook with me right now.

>>41611413
Tell Will to stop being a fucking third wheel and instead have a threesome with them, and then tell the guard that she could join in on the ultra shagging too.

Also then ask the guard her name, and before she even says it, name her "Luffles"

>>41612555
Why Luffles?

>>41612555
Naah. Name her Yew. Now we can fuck the princess no problem!

>>41612565
Because it will confuse her. Immensely.

Also, naming her asserts our dominance.

>>41612603
I imagine our dominance is fairly thoroughly asserted now. Not that we need to stop...

Fuck, I gotta sleep through all of this. You guys better steer us out of the King's grasp and into the princess's.

>>41612638
Nah, mate. We're steering the princess into our grasp.

>>41612638
Yes, into the princess's grasp and then into her panties and then into her magical hole of happiness.

>>41612665
What 'grasp' did you think I meant anon?

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“Hey, man, come on. I got you laid! I was a good wingwoman to you, be a good wingwoman to me!”

“I’m not a woman! And by ‘getting me laid’, are you referring to the sex that resulted in me having a vagina?!”

“Oh, come on, don’t be so standoffish, Will! Give womanhood a shot. Who knows, you might like it!”

“How could I possibly enjoy this?”

“Well, you could spend some quality time appreciating your upper body, at least. Take it from me: boobs are pretty great, and yours look especially great.”

Will glances down. “Maybe I would, if we hadn’t just rode for HOURS on HORSES! I don’t have a bra, if you haven’t noticed, and all the bouncing around has turned my new chest into pure pain.”

“…well, we could always look for another wizard to turn you back, I guess. But that’s so lame.”

“I’ll take the lame option, thanks.”

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“Hey, guard!”

“H-huh?”

“Look, the princess isn’t being kidnapped, she’s coming along of her own free will.”

“But…”

“Look, I’m even paying my taxes!” I pull out the tax money and go to hand it over to the princess. “My lovely Princess Ava Edwina Casterly III, may I present you the tax money from my village.”

“I formally accept these taxes. However, it is beneath me to carry such a weight on my royal person. I appoint you to be my official money-holder. My first order, money-holder: buy us supplies and rooms at the inn.”

“But of course, your majesty.” I turn back to the guard. “See? It’s all very official.”

“…”

>>41612797
Well how does he suggest we pay for the service of turning him back?

Dibs on not performing sexual favors. Unless the wizard is a hot sorceress, in which case a sacrifice must be made.

Guard a cute. A CUTE

>>41612835
So's princess anon. But I concede the helpless staring eyes have a certain charm.

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“ALL RIGHT!” The guard immediately snaps out of her melancholy. “Don’t worry, then, princess! I’ll protect you, or my name isn’t…”

>Please choose a name for the guard.

>>41612860
LUFFLWUFFLEZ

>>41612860
Youlietta!

What, that's not contrived at all.

>>41612860
Yew.

>>41612860
Yuri.

>>41612890
WAIT.
LUFFLWUFFLEZ YEWLIETTA
OR JUST LUFFLE YEWLIETTA

>>41612860
Yew.

>>41612860
Melissa. 's a good guard name.

>>41612860
Benertrice!

>>41612860
Yew, name her Yew god dammit.

>>41612922
I'm not sure Lufflwufflez counts as a name anon, although I will admit to not being familiar with the naming conventions of this kingdom.

Guard isn't all that bright, is she?

>>41612957
YOUR A FOOL IF YOU THINK LUFFLWUFFLEZ DOESNT COUNT AS A NAME
MY NAME IS PORGANFAGGOTUS EXTERMINATUS OF DICKS
YOU GONNA TELL ME IT ISN'T A NAME EITHER?!

>>41612959
She tries! Don't be mean anon! She has skills too! A valuable addition to our party! Not like Will whose only skills are wing(wo)man - now unnecessary - and bitching.

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Rolled 6 (1d20)

I roll to seduce!

Anons, you do all realize this will only be setting ourselves up for 'Yew CAN Fuck The Princess! Quest' right?

>>41613032
EXACTLY.

>>41613032
And?

>>41612987
Yep. Surry m8, sound like yer mum was havin a laff.

>>41612860
Elope May!

Remember: This isn't a kidnapping, this is the princess running off. You're not an accessory to kidnapping, you're going with the princess to prevent her from getting kidnapped while running away.
You're not a traitor, you're a hero!

>>41612890
I guess Yew's alright too. Fine and name-y and shit. I guess. Never heard of anyone called it, but tree-names are all the rage nowadays, so.

>>41612860
Bob.

Her parents REALLY wanted a boy.

>>41613032
That's the joke.

>And by ‘getting me laid’, are you referring to the sex that resulted in me having a vagina?!
Sacrificing your junk to get laid is probably just about the manliest thing someone could ever do. Be proud.

>>41612825
Princess is the best enabler.

>>41612860
Lina Spearholder! (What I come from a long line of guards, okay).

>>41613057
MY MOTHER'S NAME IS PRIESTUSUFDICKITUS
MOTHERFUCKER FITE ME

>>41613065
There's a game with a chick called Fir, that's pretty out there right? Yew's practically a common name by comparison.

>>41613032
Isn't that the point of this whole adventure?

>>41613075
But anon, she IS a boy.
She's just a late bloomer. Her dick will grow in soon. Mama said so!

>>41613093
>>41613078
She can have seconds, but Raban is first in line for this!

>>41613116
The real question is how the fuck does your mother know this?

>>41613084
YOU WANNA FUCKING HAVE A GO AT IT M8. AH AIN'T GONNA PLAY ARUND WITHA. I'LL FOOKING SUCK YAH TONGUE AND LEGLOCK YA, SEE HOW YA LIKE THAT!

>>41613166
Well, parents just know these things. Maybe her penis took a while to grow in too.

>>41612860
Jean hose Phat.

>>41613215
That's mean anon!

>>41613181
O RLY MOITE? I'LL RAM MY FIST UP YOUR KID SHITTA AND FUCK YO ANUS AS U HAVE ANAL PROLAPSE WHILE ON YOUR DAMN PERIOD

>>41613181
>>41613230
Just fuck already, and leave it out of the quest.

>>41613299
Yeah.
This quest is NOT the place for fucking.

>>41613299
OI U WUNNA GET IN DUH DAMN TUSSLE TO M8?

>>41613351
Hey now anon, Will and other faceless guard already got down and dirty you know!

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“I’ll protect you, or my name isn’t Yewlietta Benetrice Robert Melissa McLufflewuffles!”

“Robert?”

“My parents wanted a boy.”

“Oh. Harsh.”

Will whispers in my ear. “Uh, we still can’t walk into a store looking like this. They’ll recognize us from the wanted posters right away.”

>>41613230
Yer accent's slippin there m8.

>>41613404
Pffft, we've got disguises Will. We're not dumbasses.

Alright, time for everyone to swap outfits. That way we'll all be disguised, it's genius.

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>>41613404
WHAT THE FUCK.
THAT NAME.
OH MY GOD.

>>41613404
"You're right, quick everyone switch clothes. They'll never recognize us that way"

>>41613404
God, that must be awkward to shout during sex.
Of course, we will need to test this theory before drawing any conclusions.

>>41613404
The Lufflewuffles are an old and powerful clan indeed. Surprised one of theirs are working as a guard, but I suppose not everyone's part of the main house!

>>41613459
"HUH, HAH, HUH, UHUHUHUHUHUH, YEWLIETTA BENETRICE ROBERT MELISSA MCLUFFLEWUFFLES, YOUR VAGINA IS SO TIGHT!"

>>41613404
Well unless we can stealthily rob a tailor we might have to risk it. We could see one first I guess...

>>41613404
Yew for short.

Yew can't fuck Raban and the Princess!

>>41613404
Everyone, take your tops off! That way, they'll never look at our faces! Well, I know I wouldn't.

>>41613459
OH! OH Yewlietta Benetrice Robert Melissa McLufflewuffles esq.! HARDER!

>>41613404
Say "Your right, you fucking third wheel! Everyone, swap clothes with each other! They won't know who we are! And Princess, take your top off! And wear my pants over your face!"

Then, realizing you just gave the princess your pants, go beat up a random peasant and take his shirt to wear as pants.

>>41613502
>can't
Well anon, we'll see about that.

>>41613507
Let's just have Will do it. He's probably used to going shirtless right? Perfect bait, shouldn't bother him none.

>>41613404
Obviously the first thing we need to do is find a wanted poster and make sure we don't look like one. (How did the signs get here ahead of us? Magic?)

Second priority is buying Willamina a bra so he stops being all grumpy tits. I'm going to count that as part of the supplies I was royally ordered to procure.

>>41613529
"THEY DON'T CALL ME MCLUFFLEWUFFLES FOR NOTHING, OOOOOHHH!"


"YEWLITTA BENETRICE ROBERT MELISSA MCLUFFWUFFLES, IM CUMMINNGGG!"

>>41613553
Good point, she should mellow out with a bra. And we all know wanted posters are notoriously inaccurate.

>>41613562
Oh. Wait.
I already came midname.

>>41613553
>Willamina

Kek, we should start calling her this

>>41613587
I wonder what Yew's parents were thinking when they gave birth to her.

"He's so beautifu- he's a girl? SMOTHER IT."

>>41613640
No bully, anon.

>>41613656
I'm sorry, please no tell daddy.

>>41613640
That came out of nowhere.

Like... We just went from cumming to murdering infants.

>>41613705
Who says we can't cum WHILE murdering infants?

>>41613705
It's all shitposting against the rules anyway.

>>41613705
>We just went from cumming to murdering infants
just like masturbation

>>41613734
Man, this entire fucking board is shitposting.

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>>41613459
Imagine her ex.
>Who the fuck are all these people, huh?
>It's actually just the one girl, I swear!

Does it count if we fuck some Duchess? Also I'm sure there's a Queen in need of a Raban.

>>41613811
Obviously that doesn't count anon.
In fact, we clearly should get the princess on the throne so she'll be a Queen, that way we can DEFINITELY fuck her.

>>41613785
Oh fuck my sides.

We could always just make the princess queen, if we can't fuck the princess then make her not the princess

>>41613855
Why the fuck are you fucking your sides.

>>41613840
But then we'll be fucking a Queen, not a Princess.

>>41613872
maybe its his fetish?

>>41613808
>I dictate in my sleep
Now THERE'S the real mystery.

>>41613872
No, he's requesting that you fuck his sides.

>>41613878
Well what's the problem anon?

>>41613872
I'm not, which is obviously why I told you to fuck them.

>>41613926
But what if you fuck them as I fuck them to but then all the other Anons come in and fuck us as they also fuck your sides as well?

>>41613915
The quest will end and we'll have had sex with all the female royalty EXCEPT a Princess.

Will will be right, "you can't fuck a Princess"

>>41613948
>>41613910
>>41613886
>>41613872
Will you fuck off with this off-topic shitposting already? This isn't a general chat thread you chucklefucks. Shit up some other threads with this garbage.

>>41613840
Well I doubt she'll want to commit regicide on her dad so that seems a long-term plan.

>>41613967
Anon don't be mean.

>>41614028
Sorry but almost an hour is quite a while to wait for it to fizzle out on its own.

>>41613967
have some more salt why don't you

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"...do I really have to wear this?"

"You're the one who was afraid of being recognized, Willamina. Chin up."

"What did you just call m-?!"

"Shhh, don't ruin the disguise."

>>41614173
Good, good!

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“GOOD SIR!” I stroll up to the counter. “Are you the owner of this fine establishment?”

“I am, yes.”

“Perfect! My associates and I would like to purchase some supplies.”

“What kind of supplies were you intendin’ on buyin’?”

>>41614194
Ask about produce.
Then, get those balloons, and the sword if we need a weapon. And some nice new outfits for later! Adventurin' wear, and some nice fancy ones for when we finally get the princess alone again.

>>41614194
all your lube pls

>>41614223
This, but replace the sword with the bird.

>>41614194
"I'll have some Lube, Masks, hats, one magical wand, a bird, and some nice outfits please?"

>>41614194
Looking good, Will!
Princess is surprisingly good-looking in that shirt/tunic/whatever too.
Some clothes, some supplies, some information.

>>41614194
FAT MELONS AND THE BIGGEST ZUCHIINI YOU GOT

>>41614194
Binoculars

>>41614194
Basic traveling stuff (non-perishable rations, water-skins, tents, stuff to start a fire with).

And my lovely companion here is in need of a new bra.

Anyone else have requests?

>>41614194
Also, say that you don't have to pay shit cause the princess wants it and the princess doesnt have to pay shit.

>>41614285
Princess has best hair is why.

>>41614311
Are those invented yet? If so, yeah.

>>41614373
They do have water bloons.

>>41614404
But those are silly. Everything knows if it's silly, it doesn't count towards tech-level.

>>41614194
Booze. Sleeping-bags or whatever they called them in ye olde times. Clothes and supplies.

I gotta crash it's way late. Thanks for running OP.

OP plz hurry, thread is dying

>>41614618
It's not been very long, anon.

>>41614666
But i no wunt dez to die

>>41614310
ZUCHIINI.
ZUCCCHHIIINNNNIIIII

>>41614194
A map, ideally with wizard towers on.
They probably don't have any of those, but we should have a map.

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“Tell me about your produce.”

“Why, we have the finest produce™ in the kingdom! It all comes from farms that don’t use grain-enhancing magicks. Would you like to hear more?”

“Nah. As for what I'd like, let's see..." I think for a moment. "Non-perishable rations, water-skins, tents, fire-starting materials, sleeping bags, melons, zucchinis, a sword or two, that bird, water balloons, lube, masks, hats, binoculars, booze, some stylish outfits for all of us, and a nice snug bra for my lovely friend here.”

“Huh?!”

“Shush, Willamina. I’m bartering.”

“Well…” The shopkeeper scratches his beard. “I can get you all of that, but it’ll be mighty expensive. You sure you’ve got the cash, little lady?“

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I plop the sack of cash onto the counter.

“Did I stutter?”

“N-no you didn’t, ma’am!” He stares at the money. “What kind of outfits were you in the market for, my dear, esteemed, and honorable customers?”

>>41614964
Bitch I dont have to pay shit, the princess wants it, and she is royalty. If you defy the princess, you get jailed.

Yes, the princess wants all this.

>>41614996
We don't want to blow our cover here anon, the King is too close!

>>41614991
Some fancy ones and some outdoors-y ones.

>>41614996
Oh nevermind then.

>>41614991
things with hood would be the best for if we need to hide ourselves... besides that? Sexy. That is all.

>>41614991
Radiation-proof barding.

>>41614991
Practical outfits for me and Yew, something sporty but feminine for the princess, and something frilly for Willamina

>>41614991
Adventuring gear! Hoods would be nice yeah.

>>41614991
WILLAMINA WILL WEAR A DOMINATRIX SUIT, YEWLITTA WILL WEAR A HOOD AND A MASK, THE PRINCESS WILL WEAR A GANGSTER SUIT, AND I WILL GET A BDSM LEATHER SUIT.

>>41615069
That's not a terrible idea anon. Wilhelmina needs practice until we get to that wizard after all!

>>41614991
Careful, don't blow everything.

>What kind of outfits were you in the market for, my dear, esteemed, and honorable customers?
Hella sweet ones.

>>41614996
Nah, can't leave too obvious a trail for the King's searchers. If we go all imperial decree on everyone, we leave behind grumpy people telling stories.

>>41614991
Also a map! Don't forget the map!
Unless we already have one I guess.

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"Practical outfits for me and Yew - that's the blonde near the door -, something sporty but feminine for Ava-" I gesture to the princess. "-and for Willamina, the frilliest, fanciest dress you can find."

"RABAN-!"

"Shhh, Willamina. Bartering."

"Hmm..." The shopkeeper thinks it over. "The soonest I could get all of this stuff together would be tomorrow morning. Is that okay?"

>>41615417
Works for us. We can't go anywhere else.

>>41615417
Sure. Is there an inn nearby? Preferably with a maid cafe so we can earn a touch of cash ( to recoup some cost)

Or maybe some bounties so we could get money through adventuring!

It's the perfect disguise, will. No one will expect you to embrace frills.

>tomorrow morning
We were planning to stay at the local inn, so yes, that sounds acceptable.

>>41615417
What if it were a less fancy dress?

>>41615652
A frilly skirt or white dress would suffice

>>41615514
This.

>>41615514
Yes, Ye Ancient Maide Cafe'

Starting to feel bad that we got Will in this mess. Having a penis is great, and you can pee standing up without getting urine everywhere. That, and the whole implicating him along with us for high treason.

Will is suffering.

>>41615914
Who is Will? Do you mean Willamina?

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“Sure, we’re staying in town for a bit anyway. Hey, could you maybe throw in some hoods with those outfits, too?”

“Sure thing.”

“Thanks. By the way, is there an inn in town, or any bounty-collecting offices?”

“Yep, there’s an inn a few doors over. You’d have to check in with the local constabulary for bounties. M’afraid I don’t know about many bounties myself, except for that one about the princess-kidnappers.”

“Oh, yeah, the princess-kidnappers… Foul fiends, the lot of them, am I right?”

“You bet. I hope they catch them soon. Anyway, I’ll start getting to work on your order. Anythin’ else you need from me, missy?”

“Nah, I think we’re done here.” I motion to the others, and we head outside. Moments later, I feel a tug on my shoulder, and turn to see Will. “What is it, Willamina?

Will glares.

“Come on, Will. It’s the perfect disguise! No one will expect you to embrace frills.”

Will continues to glare.

“What if it were a less fancy dress?”

Will eases up a little.

“A frilly skirt? A white dress?”

“…fine.” Will shrugs.

“That’s the spirit!” I give him a pat on the back.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Where are we going next?”

>>41615996
The inn! We're going to bard it up! As I recall, William--I mean Will, you had an excellent singing voice. Although, you're probably more alto now then baritone.

>>41615996
Ye Olde Maide Tavern. Your frilly training begins now.

>>41616049
*Taverne

>>41615996
GO TO THE MOTHAFUKKIN INN AND GET CRAZY UP IN THIS BEAAATTCHH

>>41615996
Maid tavern. Will and me will do some shifts while princess and guard relax a bit. They earned a rest!

>>41615996
>>41616047
As for my part, the princess and I will dance to your music! And Yew.. uh, she can clap along!

>>41616100
Dancing is perfect for wooing princesses. Let's make sure to grind all up in dat

>>41615996
suggest whoring out will to make money

>>41616387
She'd make more money modeling. First we gotta give her a makeover

>>41615996
Tavern means booze, right?

We could ask Ava what kind of *other* things princesses aren't allowed to do. Have a little fun on the town while we're here.

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I kick open the inn’s door.

Everyone turns. “Who are you?!”

“We’re going to be your entertainment tonight!” I yell out. "Willamina will sing! Ava and I will dance! Yew will clap along, or possibly play tambourine, I haven't decided yet!"

“…but we already have a bard.” The lady tending the bar responds.

>>41616495
Throw the bard out and take his lute!

>>41616495
Take the bard's instrument and knock him out with it. "Now you don't!"

>>41616495
Fuck, Raban's face always get me.

>>41616495
I think it's time for a bard-off

>>41616495
Just get a drink. We'll see who's signing best by the end of the night!

>>41616581
Get a Drink. Take the Glass, smash the glass into the Bard's head, throw him out, declare party time.

>>41616495
Now you have four.

>…but we already have a bard.
That's fine. We could always use extra instrumental accompaniment.

Shove will up on stage, order the bard to play something and Will to sing along (shove Yew up there too, she can figure it out).

Then take your princess dancing. Romantic dancing.

>>41616495
Allow me to sing you the dance of my people, or dance you the song of my people. I haven't decided yet

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>>41616495
"Is your bard an Orc, otherwise get out"

With how Raban behaves, I'm starting to wonder why her village sent her along with Williamina to represent them.

>>41616900
Maybe they're even crazier?

>>41616900
Probably cause this is the most no fucks given village ever.

>>41616900
clever ploy to get rid of the village crazy/bard and her friend that backfired hilariously, plus now the King thinks they didn't pay taxes so theres that

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“Who’s your bard?”

“You mean Tim? He’s over there.”

“I will have WORDS with Tim.” I stride over and pull Tim aside.

“What is it?”

“There are times when performers must die for their art.”

“H-huh?”

“Tim, there’s a question you need to ask yourself: is now one of those times?”

“I-I…” Tim nervously glances down at his lute.

“No, Tim. Leave it behind.”

Tim turns and bolts out the door. I pick up the lute.

>>41617040
Throw will the lute, LETS GET FUNKY UP IN THIS BITCH.

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I wave the bartender over, smiling. “Tim and I have come to an understanding. My friends and I will be your bards for tonight.”

The bartender nods, a bit confused. “Uh, okay. Does your troupe have a name? I need to know for tax purposes.”

>>41617040
Sing of Willamina the feminine, the brave Princess, and Yew the cute guard!

>>41617069
WE ARE THE CRIMSON DOMINATRIX!

>>41617069
Willamina the sex goddess and her sexy goddesses

>>41617098
No no we need to keep a low profile.

>>41617069
The Sex Crossbows.

>>41617125
Willamina the Sex Dominatrix and her Sexy Goddesses.

>>41617069
The Royalists

>>41617069
The Princess Kidnappers.

Subterfuge and all that, you know.

>>41617069
The Aristocrats

>>41617069
Sex B-bomb! Wait, no, too obvious.

The Flaming Harpies!

>>41617183
And plus, its trendy!

>>41617069
Yewlietta Benetrice Robert Melissa McLufflewuffles and The Kidnapppers

>>41617069
The Sex Court

>>41617190
This.

>>41617282
Princess and the Kidnappers

>>41617116
i like this one. appropriately metal, while encapsulating our powerful feminine wiles.

>>41617069
the Shanghai'd Sovereigns

>>41617565
What the fuck are you going on about? I just want this name so we can have some hot dominatrix sex music

>>41617595
we need to become the realms first metal band.

>>41617625
yes, sex bar metal music.

>>41617183
>>41617334
Refuge in audacity. We're totally publicity jumping on a trending topic, nothing more.

OP plz babah plz dont die on me i still wunna suk ur dik

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“We’re Princess and the Kidnappers!”

“Uh, isn’t that a little…”

“It’s topical!”

“Well, okay. Start performing whenever you’re ready.”

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We rock the house for hours. Our audience showers us with applause, as well as a decent amount of money.

As it starts to get late, the bartender walks up. “Hey, you guys were great tonight. Do you want a room for the night? If you want one room, it’s on the house for bards, but for two rooms you’ll have to pay.”

>>41617760
Limber up those dancing legs!

>>41617782
We'll have one room. Do you have any lube in there also?

>>41617782
One room is fine! We'll all just cuddle! Doesn't that sound lovely, girls!

>>41617782
Does Will have a lovely singing voice?

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>>41617782
one room. run sexy 4some.exe and welcome will to womanhood.

>>41617782
im certain we can "share" the bed and "sleep" in shifts, besides we need to keep an eye out.

>>41617782
Two rooms. Princess deserves a little privacy for her first time.

Also we don't will being a wet blanket ruining everything.

Rooms assignments are obviously Raban / Ava and Will / Yew.

>>41617862
Off course, the first shift is us and the princess, so we can keep an eye out for each others needs

>>41617890
yeah, though first we gotta have a talk with will first, we aren't going to tolerate being blue-balled (blue-ovaried?) like this much longer even if it is from our best friend.

>>41617969
We DID get him laid, after all. He owes us.

>>41617990
He never got laid to begin with before turning into a chick.

>>41618110
Well she and Yew can get it on

>>41618110
last thread he specifically said that he was turned into a chick after having sex didn't work.

>>41618110
Yeah he did. he got laid, then when nothing happened he was force feminized.

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“One room, I think, but hold on.” I pull Will aside. “Hey, man. If we share a room, are you going to keep blue-ovarieing me? Because best friend or no, it’s getting old fast. Ava and I are gonna fuck tonight. This is a thing that will happen.”

“I told you. Not until you change me back.”

“Will, come on. I got you laid, and your singing voice is damn sexy now.”

“Yeah, to YOU. Because you’re a lesbian.”

“Will, come on.”

He sighs. “Fine. I won’t get in the way of you and the princess anymore. Just…” He looks down at himself. “Promise you’ll find someone to change me back as soon as you can, okay?”

>>41618295
I promise. And hey, if you feel like you want some help making the most of your new body while we try and get your old one back...

>>41618295
Promise. Now, lets get to our rooms. Princess, why don't you go up first?

Also Bard, any lube?

>>41618295
I promise.
It's the first thing on my list.

Well, aside from the princess, but that was on there first, and I wrote it in pen, and there's no space above it, and... I'll take care of it. Don't worry.

>>41618295
I promise I will find a wizard and talk, bully, persuade, pay, trick, manipulate and/or charm them into making you look like yourself again.

>>41618295
Dude, we're your best firend, i mean that is some fine body you got going on right now, but deep down i know you gotta be who you gotta be.

>>41618295
Promise. But don't come crying to me when being a girl is awesome!

>>41618295
"will, i know your eager to get your junk back, but think; this is probably the only chance you'll ever have to experience sex as a female."

i roll to seduce.

"dice+1D20"

>>41618376
epic fail

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>41618376
Bro, here's how its done

>>41618392
No, you misunderstand.
That's what Raban was saying aloud.

>>41618321
>>41618376
>trying to fuck will
Princess pussy is our main taget here, get your head in the game otherwise we will never be able to fuck the princess.

>>41618295
Wait how are you gonna fuck her with only one room? You have money, spend it to get privacy!

...wait how much is it gonna cost to get him reversed? Gotta make sure you have the dosh for that.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>41618376
Seduce Will! Lesbian foursome!

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“I promise I will find some wizard and talk, bully, persuade, pay, trick, manipulate and/or charm them into making you look like yourself again.” I hug him. “Dude, I’m your best friend. I mean, that is one fine body you got going on right now, and I still think you should experience sex at least once as a woman, but… in the end, you gotta be who you gotta be.”

“Thanks, Raban.”

”Being a woman is kind of awesome, though. And, hey, if you feel like you want some help making the most of your new body while we try to get your old one back…”

“Raban, please get your hand off of my ass.”

“Okay, okay.”

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The bartender leads us upstairs, to a big room. “Sleep well.”

“Oh, you bet we will.” I wink. The bartender doesn’t seem to know how to respond to that. After a few seconds, she turns and walks away. I clear my throat and speak to the others. “We’ll sleep in shifts, to keep an eye out for, uh…” I glance at Yew. “…bandits. Ava and I will take first watch.”

They nod. After a little while, Will and Yew fall asleep. I briefly consider subtly pushing them to cuddle each other in their sleep, but then Ava distracts me.

“Hey, cutie. Are we going to do this thing?”

>“Hey, cutie. Are we going to do this thing?”
Give her a kiss, and then tease her.

I dunno. Maybe we're not going slow enough yet. We could wait some mooooore.

>>41618884
Kiss softly and caress her

>>41618884
We are going to do this thing. Quietly. Under the sheets.

>>41618884
Start with the makeouts!

>>41618884
Kiss her and cop a feel and ask her "does the heirophant shit in the woods?"

>>41618884
*looks at thread name*
Well shit. Eh, lets give it a shot anyway.

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“Hmm, I don’t know… it is kind of late, and I’m pretty tired after today.”

“Huh?”

“I’m just saying, maybe we should call it quits for tonight. Rest up for tomorrow.”

“Raban, you’d better be kidding.”

I smile and lean in for a kiss.

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*CRASH*

what

>>41619495
Dammit Raban. The only thing stopping you from fucking the princess is YOU.

>>41619515
the fuck!?

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“HANDS OFF OF HER, YOU LESBIAN STRUMPET!”

“Who the fuck are you?!”

“IT IS I, RIKALOKAMUMBO’K’TAAAZ, FIRST OF THE PRINCESS RETRIEVAL ATTACK TEAM SPECIALISTS! I’LL BE TAKING THE PRINCESS BACK TO HER FATHER NOW, IF’N YOU DON’T MIND!”

>>41619515
See, personally I was expecting a Spanish Inquisition.
Which, in retrospect, is strange.

>>41619530

"...So what's up with your name? How does that even work?"

Punch him in the face while he's answering.

>>41619525
Well, that and a vampire with guns.

>>41619530
Shoulda been Princess Retrieval Inquisitional Cooperator Klan

You know, P.R.I.C.Ks


Also say "Princess? I see no Princess here. Just this smokin' hot broad.

Oh, and also this girl next to me."

>>41619530
Oh god scream for help from your guard friend, it's a bandit!

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>>41619530
I do mind. Could you please come back tomorrow?

I do mind! A great deal!

>vampire
Point out he just entered a private room without permission. Maybe he'll have a vampire-aneurysm or something.

...is he allowed to see the Princess' tits? I'll bet he's not allowed to see the princess' tits. Pull her top up, and then beat him up while he's looking away or closing his eyes. Shoot him with his own guns.

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I sigh. "For the record, I was just teasing. We were totally going to fuck each other silly."

"Aw, man!"

>>41619736
Silly Raban, you'll never fuck the princess.

>>41619736
God damn it Raban......

>>41619736
Noooooo!

Wait, how did a Vampire enter this building UNINVITED?! Quick everyone, top of next thread, rescind is invitation!

>>41622194
But we're not the owners of this place anon! The innkeeper must have let him in!

Kinda disappointed the princess didn't have more hair hidden up in that cone.

Weren't we supposed to find out if the princess is related to us this thread?